Doctors Describe The Times Their Patient Was Right And They Were Wrong

There are few people we should feel more comfortable putting our faith and trust in than doctors.
After all, we go to them to make sure we are still healthy, or when we are worried that something is wrong, and want their opinion.
However, being human, doctors can make mistakes just like the rest of us.
Sometimes missing details which even the most experienced doctors might miss.
Other times, in sad and disturbing cases, owing completely to willful ignorance, despite the grave concerns of their patients.
Sometimes with life and death consequences.
Redditor BigBadZord was curious to hear from doctors about the times they didn't listen to their patients and made serious misdiagnoses, leading them to ask:
"Doctors of Reddit, when was a patient right about something but you insisted they were wrong until it got serious?"
Always Assume They're Telling The Truth
"It didn't 'get serious' under my father's care, he just thought she was joking at first."
"He was treating a woman for headaches and she dropped that she had been the getaway driver in a robbery where shots had been fired."
" Bullet was lodged in base of her skull."- BigBadZord
Deep Secrets
"Psychiatrist here."
"I was at the brief internment unit, acute psychotic cases, mostly, and there was this woman that had been there for some time."
"She had paranoid delusions about the Russian mob trying to get her, complete with hallucinations and everything."
"Her family had confirmed it was all made up in her head and nobody was following her."
"She had been getting medication for some time and her symptoms had improved a lot, she no longer believed she was in danger or being hunted, and everything seemed to be going well."
"As the procedure usually goes, the staff contacted her family so she could start going out for the weekends with them before being fully discharged."
"First weekend away from the hospital she got kidnapped by the Russian mob and taken somewhere else to repay a debt she apparently had but nobody in her family knew about."
"Happy ending though, she was found and gotten to safety quite quickly because we had already spoken to the police about her 'delusions' just in case and they were quick to act when she disappeared."
"And yes, people got locked up and other women were found."
"It was, all in all, a happy/satisfying ending."- Thalkarsh
More Common Than People Think...
"Patient stated live cockroach in ear."
"I said probably not and ate my words."- ChameleonMami
A Mother Knows
"I had a patient in his mid-30s establishing care with me for 'difficulty reading'."
"He actually came in with his mother and was very shy, which I thought was very strange."
"He said he worked at a library and words would get 'jumbled up' while reading."
"He had zero additional issues."
"I actually did a very thorough neurological exam and found zero problems."
"I asked him to read a magazine out loud at different speeds and he did it perfectly."
"I said everything looked fine and wanted to order some labs."
"I honestly felt he was just a strange character."
"They agreed to labs but mom was very pushy to do head imaging. I said we could, but I ordered the CT as routine and by the time labs came back he was extremely low on vitamin D."
"I called saying we should replace it and hold off on the scan."
"Not only did mom not want the scan cancelled, she wanted an MRI and she wanted it STAT."
"I basically got tired of trying to be reassuring and just ordered what she wanted."
"He had the biggest glioblastoma I have ever seen."
"Go mom."- bombas239
Difficult, Or Just Right?
"Without going into specifics, a patient was brought into our ER for like the sixth time in six months with the same thing."
"Fits, progressive neurological symptoms AND a label of a normal MRI scan done 4 months earlier with a referral to a 'functional neurologist' to basically deal with what was labelled as psychosomatic neurological symptoms on account of the patient having their first neurological event whilst they were on the phone."
"Getting some bad news, having a normal MRI and having seen a neurologist who couldn’t find anything wrong, again four months earlier."
"Thankfully, due to the patient rocking up in a wheelchair this time round as they were unable to stand, one of the senior ER doctors brought them in to do another scan."
"Cue me, walking in to see a 'neuro patient who is going to see the specialist as there is nothing wrong with them'."
"Until the very day I die, I shall never, ever forget my horror when I saw their repeat MRI scan on my computer screen just before entering the room."
"The patient had a golf ball-sized tumor in the very back of their brain and was in huge, huge trouble with rapidly progressive neurological signs."
"I felt so terrible for both the patient and their family."
"The first thing I did was to tell them that we were very wrong, there was something physically wrong and apologized for the 10 or so times they had been sent home from ER and told that they had been making up the symptoms and signs."
"The family were just grateful that they now knew what was going on."
"The patient died a month or so later."
"I tell this to all of my junior colleagues and I am extremely wary of how people are labelled as having a fictitious illness when they present to hospital."- feetofire
Can You Sal "Malpractice"?
"Not a Dr but the patient."
"3 years ago I started to have pain in my feet/toes that worked it’s what up progressively up my body."
"My uric acid shot up so my Drs assumed it was gout, even though it really didn’t make much sense."
"Till one morning I wake up and am paralyzed from the waste down, legit could not bare weight without falling to the ground."
"Of course I’m in and out of the ER but they really aren't doing jack."
"Keep sending me home while paralyzed with no help."
"Over a few days the paralysis moves up to my neck and below."
"Trouble eating, extremely painful, paralyzed and having respiratory issues."
"I get sent to a bigger hospital where I lose bladder and bowel function."
"They run blood work and just watch and wait."
"Finally a few days in get an MRI which shows signs of poly neuropathy, radiology recommends LP to rule out rare neurological autoimmune disease."
"Instead the team believes I’m faking it."
'Stop all meds besides psychiatric ones and wait me out for 10ish days."
"I was literally tortured and abused by all kinds of medical professionals, physical mental emotional etc."
"Finally I fail an EMG and LP are finally done as I begin to go into respiratory failure."
"Finally am diagnosed with an extremely rare variant of Guillain Barre Syndrome."
"They have no clue what to do as they hadn’t encountered it in adolescence med and give me the wrong fucking treatment."
"Fast forward 3yrs and I’m still a quadriplegic with nerve damage in every organ system and have never recovered."
"Nor will I ever."
"They failed me at every step of the way and now I have to live with no quality of life and as a quadriplegic."
"As well as the trauma of all that happened to me which has caused severe ptsd."
"Believe your f*cking patients!"
"Worst thing that can happen is you run the expensive test and it comes back normal."- Ok-Lab-1212
When You Can't Trust The Doctor OR The Vet...
"Not a doctor but a patient."
"I was suffering from severe skin issues for quite sometime."
"Bad rashes that would render my hands unusable."
"Fingers would get so dry and burn."
"Both hands."
"Happened repeatedly when I would do the same activities."
"I spent many nights up unable to sleep from pain, I researched every which way possible."
"I was also having eye problems, I felt like something was in my eye all the time."
"I was also getting bit by bugs that were so tiny, but it would only happen at bedtime, and I lived alone."
"I never had bites, but the rashes on my hands, and other random parts of my body."
"Eventually my dog started suffering with some o the same issues."
"Constantly itching, was seeing the little bugs in the tub after bathing her, which I was doing 2-3 times a week bc she was suffering!"
"After seeing 1 general practice doctor, 2 urgent care doctors, 2 dermatologists and 1 eye doctor."
"Oh and bringing my dog to the vet, if they even were willing to listen to me, which most weren't, it was a general conclusion that I should see a mental health professional."
"I begged and pleaded for them just to listen and all they could tell me was that I was nuts and imagining things."
"After many nights of researching the internet I established I had an infestation of bird/chicken mites!"
"The place I was living had a chicken coupe in the backyard! "
"This was years ago and no doctors had any experience with these pests."
"What a nightmare.'
"I felt so alone because everyone had me thinking maybe I was crazy and it was all in my head. fast forward 4 years later, bird mites are recognized by pest control, doctors, vets, etc."
"Ill never get those nights I spent awake in pain and suffering being forced to figure out what was causing me so much pain, i'll never get them back."
"I'll never go to any of those doctors ever again."- sickerthan_yaaverage
Luckily A Bit Ahead Of The Game
"Patient here."
"And I’m a physical therapist."
"Went to the ER and said 'I think there’s a 97% chance I have a DVT'."
"'I initially thought it was a calf strain as my Wells Criteria was low, but over the last 2 days I’m pretty sure it’s a DVT, here’s why''."
"Then explained my reasoning."
"I screen for DVTs daily at my job, particularly for my post-op patients after a knee or hip replacement, or other surgery."
"Basically as a PT I have a very thorough calf/foot/knee/ankle exam, and nothing I did made the pain better or worse."
"Meds didn’t help."
"Elevating my leg didn’t help."
"I also had gotten a lab done earlier that day & had an elevated d-dimer."
"D-dimer can mean a lot of things, but a blood clot is one of them."
"I was a textbook case."
"Cross country flight a couple days before, fell asleep & didn’t move the whole flight, dehydrated on flight from a wedding the night before, leg swelling & pain that doesn’t improve with typical measures, long term birth control user, and BMI higher than I would like it to be currently."
"All the risk factors were there."
"It got missed."
"I got sent home only to end up in a different ED 2 days later, where they properly diagnosed my DVT."
"The entirety of my lower leg was clotted by that point because the clot had grown over several days."
"Showed up again 2 days after that because my heart rate was out of control & had some chest pain."
"Ended up with a lovely PE."
"I’m lucky I’m still kicking, and that it wasn’t way worse."
"Have seen many patients die of PE."
"My leg still has some issues which makes it hard to walk & do my job."
"My lungs are doing okay though."- ok_MJ
Dangerous Ignorance
"Patient here."
"When I was 16 I noticed a mole on my shoulder blade that I didn’t recognize and it was already sizable and a different color from all my other moles."
"First I had to convince my mom to take me to the dermatologist, which took a bit since she’s an ER nurse and brushes everything off from my sister and I if it isn’t a true/imminent emergency."
"The dermatologist was a complete tool, trying to show off to his medical intern, and not only dismissed but didn’t even make note of the mole I was concerned about."
"He did, however, zero in on the one in my boob, the one I’d had my entire life and had never changed."
"An absolute creep abusing his power towards a teenager and right in front of her mother."
"He insisted on a biopsy of that one which meant his male intern had to have his face right up in my 16 year old cleavage to punch it out."
"He unfortunately did such a good job on the biopsy punch that it never grew back, and I quite liked that particular mole."
"As expected, that came back negative."
"10 months later, I insisted on going back because it appeared to me that the already sizable mole was probably doubled in size, now bigger than a pencil eraser which is one of the parameters of concern."
"Back to the same shitty derm, but this time he didn’t have anyone to show off to and I was in for the second time in less than a year, so he listened that time and biopsied it."
"No idea how much it actually grew though since he didn’t bother to write it down the first time."
"That one comes back dysplastic precancerous."
“'Dysplastic nevus is a mole that exists in the spectrum between a benign mole and melanoma'."
"He excised that in office, but the excision was bigger than it should have been had he listen the first time and I have a sizable scar still."
"Had I listened to his advice the first time and brushed it off as nothing, I very likely would have had skin cancer before I graduated high school."
"Never went back to that sh*tty dermatologist again."- deCantilupe
Doctors literally have people's lives in their hands.
While we should always err on the side of trusting them, it's also important that we let our voices be heard, and if they refuse to listen, get a second opinion.
After all, as evidenced by these stories, no one is immune from making a mistake.
Attraction is almost always instant.
So is losing attraction.
I once lost interest on a date because of how they held a fork... long story.
So when surfing the apps, we often find turnoffs immediately.
It could be a pic or a profile.
People really need to put more effort into looking at these sites.
Redditor GIazednConfused wanted to hear about all the things that make us lose our attraction immediately, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit on dating apps, what’s something you see on a woman’s profile that instantly turns you off?"
Turn ons/turn offs, it's all so easy.
I hate rude profiles.
You first
"If they say 'I don’t contact first' on Bumble."
nyqs81
"A lot of profiles are copy/pasted from other dating profiles they've made but I also like to think Bumble has acknowledged this by allowing gals to make the first move by sending an emoji instead of making them write something."
The_Owl_Bard
More than 1
"When it's 2-3 of the same people in every single picture and I have no idea who she is. That level of obliviousness is so unattractive. Disturbingly obvious filters."
AlmostEasy89
"Group photos make sense as PART of a profile. Your first picture should be just of you, but shots of me actually on stage or with my performance troupe are about as 'real' an image as you're gonna get of me in my element."
"A bunch of pictures of me playing video games by myself alone is a much worse sell than 'look at my huge assortment of friends and adventures we go on together.'"
Kokeshi_Is_Life
Fireworks
"If you have to state that you hate drama specifically, you LOVE drama."
elevencharles
"In my experience, the ones who hate drama are constantly surrounded by it because they started it. The ones who love it have distant friends or acquaintances who start drama, so all they have to do is sit back and watch the fireworks."
Ninjahkin
"I never realized this until you said it, but yeah, I f**king love drama, but I'm always the guy making popcorn and just watching it all unfold. If something comes up that involves me and could lead to drama, I nip that s**t in the bud before it sprouts whenever possible."
Sorcatarius
Hey. NO!
"I remember a profile like this, saying 'don't just say hey.' She referenced something about birds on her profile, which I like, so I opened with that - 'top three favorite birds, go' and then gave my list."
"Her response was 'my list: 0 birds.'"
"I recently went through a period in my life in which I got hundreds of matches, and out of them I'd say I could count on my fingers the number who actually knew how to have a conversation. It makes me so mad because before this, women had always told me that was specifically a male problem."
DiskPidge
Blah
"‘Entertain me’ - ‘don’t be boring.’ Typically these people are the dullest and most entitled people I’ve ever interacted with."
beansff
No YOU entertain ME.
I like Catwoman
“'I’m looking for my Joker to my Harley Quinn.'"
"Sorry, but unless it’s for cosplay or Halloween, that tells me you’re rather dysfunctional in relationships and somehow thrive in it."
JustAnOrdinaryRyan
Who?
"I love when every picture is a group picture and some have the same women in each. Bonus points if everyone is wearing sunglasses. Great... which one are you?"
"'Looking for my partner in crime.' None of the women who put that are actually down for armed robbery or money laundering."
Leadingman_
I Got Goals
"One profile I saw a while back, the woman stated that she wouldn't consider any man who makes less than 100K. There are more subtle ways to convey that: 'I want someone ambitious, driven, and successful in his career.' The way she phrased it made her look like a gold digger, especially since she wasn't making anything close to that amount."
"Edit: This was back in the early 2000s. These days, I'm sure the goalpost has moved to 200K."
foxpaws42
Rules First
"It's been a couple years, but back then I had a few 'rules' that were instant passes."
"My main rule was any corrected age. If their profile said 22 and the first line of the bio was immediately '19. Who knows if they're even the age they say they are now."
"My other rule of thumb was not having their face in their first pic, i.e. neck down shot. You'd be surprised how many had this."
Ayziak
Yuck
"Cigarette smoker. No offense to those who smoke. I personally do not like it and wouldn’t want to be with someone who does it. I’ve tried it like twice out of curiosity and instantly knew it wasn’t for me."
Safe_Nerve9644
It takes so little to like someone a little less.
These Redditors can't be alone in their turnoffs.
Do you have any non-starters? Let us know in the comments below.
Life is fleeting.
We face the end every second of the day.
We have no idea about the ticking time bombs in our bodies.
We have no clue what's around every corner we turn.
When face to face with death, the mind wonders.
Or maybe it finds peace.
Redditor LaVidaFiesta wanted to hear about the times we've been SHOOK by the aspect of dying, so they asked:
"When did you think you would die, but didn't?"
I've lost track of times I've been near death, mostly all traffic incidents.
I always start praying.
Road Hazard
"Dated a dangerous driver. One night he decided, with me in the car, to overtake a lorry on a country road where he couldn't see crap. We were seconds from a head-on collision and I never set foot in his car again. He later had to go to prison for driving offences."
Impressive-Bench9223
So Much Blood
"When I was 17, in 1989, I got shot outside of a party in Detroit. So much blood, s**t hurt like hell, burned hotter than the sun. But twas just a flesh wound, didn't hit any vital organs."
StuckInNov1999
Palpitations
"'Minor' heart attack at 37. Nothing minor about feeling like you're drowning on land."
K1rkl4nd
"Go tell that to my dad who refused to take me to the hospital when the 19 yo me asked him to go cause I felt like something was definitely wrong with my heart when it happened 24 yo now, and my cardiologist been saying that I'm a miracle and if I didn't have an healthy and 'athletic' heart I would probably not be here anymore."
BornDifference1216
Roll With It
"My friends dragged me up to the mountains without my knowledge (i was told we were just going for a drive until we were halfway there). So I'm already at the mountain and I'm like... 'aight i guess ill just roll with it.' They had me build the fire since I'm the only one thats any good at building fires. Long story short the smoke inhalation caused me to have extreme asthma without an inhaler."
"Everyone refused to take me to the hospital the entire day. I ended up coughing so forcefully and so often that I ended up with pneumomediastinum (a hole in the lung causing air to leak into the mediastinum). Needless to say I cut off all ties with them."
Thanks_I_Hate_You
No Air
"When I woke up with an asthma attack and couldn’t breathe."
Appropriate_Tea9048
"The most frightening feeling in the world... I moved to a different city with a different climate, and my asthma attacks usually will start with coughs, but now it's just a little uncomfortable and boom, my throat is closed... Very, very scary. Hope your asthma is under control."
pixieface28
ALIVE!!
"I was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal colon cancer and given 4 months to a year. I thought I would be dead by now but I’m still alive coming up to 8 months since the diagnosis. Starting to feel a bit of pain otherwise I’m fine."
Big-End-9824
Never stop living when you can.
Fast & Furious
"Car tried passing a truck going maybe 120kmh. I was going 100kmh. Head on. Time did slow down but it was calm just accepting I was going to die. Paramedics went to the scene expecting nobody to survive and I came out with couple minor injuries. Haven’t been scared to die since."
beansff
Disconnected
"Almost two years ago, my now ex-wife got really made at me. Way more than normal it was so bad I asked her to stop the car and let me out. She stopped, I opened the door, put my feet on the ground and she floored the car! The rear wheel ran over my arm, neck, and shoulder."
"Cracked skull , small brain bleeding loss of mass in the frontal lobe, disconnected my Brain from my nose. What I can't get over is the headlights coming back at me. She told the police the car door just opened."
lincolnstar
In my mind...
"I met with an accident where a huge bus knocked me riding a cycle. It came from behind, there were no other vehicles to be seen, and I saw what was gonna happen to me. I knew I was gonna die, but luckily, I was thrown to the other side of the road and survived with small injuries. In my mind, I was gonna die and I just could not believe I lived."
Martiallawtheology
In the Water
"I was out swimming with some friends and since I've been swimming my entire life I wasn't worried about swimming far out and diving by myself. So there I was, 150m away from the nearest person, diving in the sea. All of a sudden a sharp pain hits me in the leg and the shock causes me to breathe out. There I am, alone a couple of meters under the surface, thinking 'I'm dead if I don't calm down.'"
"With that in mind I force the pain away and start using the rest of the body to swim up with. I reach the surface and swim to shore. The whole thing lasted just a couple of seconds but it really didn't feel like it at the time. If I hadn't been swimming my whole life I could've easily died that time. Now it wasn't the closest I've been to dying but it felt the closest."
darkcyberleon
The River
"I can't swim we were crossing a river I was front passenger seat and and we started taking on water my side quickly filled and my seatbelt wouldn't unbuckle."
laglagoon
Life is precious.
Never take a moment for granted.
Do you have any near-death experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Whether or not we enjoy cleaning, we can all appreciate a calm and clean environment.
Some of us really like the "extras" of a comfortable home, like cozy blankets and pillows, soft music, and uniquely scented candles.
There are even some candle scents people would love to have in their homes but which are not available at this time.
Wondering what others liked to be surrounded with, Redditor unknownyoyo asked:
"What obscure smell would you buy a candle of?"
Fresh Lumber
"I'd love a candle that actually smells like wood. I love the smell of fresh lumber."
- BretHitmanHart84
Only '90s Kids Will Understand
"I want a candle that captures the experience of the Scholastic Book Fair."
- modestyahoo597
Emphasis on "Old"
"Ooh! A candle that actually smells like OLD books."
- misterjonathancrouch
Talk About Swoon-worthy
"Freshly baked bread."
- AmusedCrane
Oscure and Lovely
"The smell of rain on hot pavement."
- sanseriouz
Good Morning, Indeed
"I wish I could capture that smell of a clear cold morning in a boreal forest in Northeastern Ontario. Crisp, pine, lake, clear, cold, sunshine... it's a whole vibe."
- ElleRyder68
A Reverse Candle, In a Way
"The smell of a candle that's literally JUST been blown out."
- T-Bizzle
The '90s Friday Night Vibes
"I bought a candle that smells like Blockbuster and I love it. It smells like buttered popcorn, carpet, and that smell VHSs had."
- maniacalmustacheride
The Smell of Rain
"This might just be a UK thing but there's a certain smell on a cloudy day just before the rain hits and you can tell it's about to start. That's a comfortable smell for me."
"Fresh-cut grass in summer is good too."
- IndependentTax2482
Or a Whole Line of Cooking Candles
"Melted garlic butter."
- ForestCityWRX
When Nostalgia Comes Knocking
"I want a candle that smells like my old dog. It's not the most pleasant smell, but I miss that big id**t."
- Pressed_in_Pages
Pizza Rolls, Anyone?
"The smell of that friend's house you used to go to sleepovers at and spend all night playing LAN PC games together back in 7th grade and his mom bought pizza for you."
- 7point62Neato
Don't Forget Your Racket
"The smell of a freshly opened can of tennis balls."
- chefarmer
French Onion Soup
"About a year ago, I made homemade french onion soup for the first time. I spent over an hour caramelizing the onions on the stove."
"I went to the grocery store to get cheese for the recipe. As soon as I got there, three girls stopped me and asked what I was wearing. I don't wear cologne, so didn't know what they were talking about."
"They were sniffing me all over and telling me that I smell amazing. H**l, they started calling other people over to smell me."
"That's when I realized they were smelling the caramelized onions. I was pretty popular that day. If I wasn't already married, I'd make french onion soup every day!"
- Herbiethelovebug
Three Cheers for Childhood
"That smell right when you open the container of Play-Doh."
- kcc3121
Each of these scent ideas brought back comforting feelings and great memories, especially for anyone who grew up in the '90s. To be surrounded by these scents every day at home would create quite the vibe, for sure.
People Reveal The Real Reason Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Partner Or Spouse
Whether we intend for it to be the focus of the relationship or not, one of the defining features of a romantic relationship is its physical interactions.
Anyone who deeply values physical touch might not be able to understand how a relationship could continue if the couple was no longer intimate.
Curious, Redditor cold_h*e asked:
"People who stopped having sex with their partner/husband/wife, what made you stop?"
When Health Gets in the Way
"I was on an antidepressant that shut my libido down. No desire whatsoever, and if we tried, it always ended in my failure. Slowly improved, weaned off it over six months, and things began to get better, all around."
"About that time, my wife began getting sinus headaches. It was subsequently diagnosed as an incurable brain tumor, and she was gone 18 months later. That bout of depression was a walk in the park..."
- psilome
Autoimmune Problems
"Sex hurts her (autoimmune problems)."
"It's been seven years. It turns out I love her more than I thought I could."
- redditusernamehonked
Living Stress-Free
"He has a medical problem that means he can't orgasm. Sex always ended with him getting frustrated and upset about it. So it's not worth the stress. I'd rather have him and be celibate than be with anyone else."
"It bothered us at first, but only because we were locked into the idea that married couples need to have a sex life. We went to couples counseling and basically figured out that we love each other and are happy together without sex, so why does it matter what is considered 'normal'?"
"We're a couple of happy little weirdos, and it works for us."
- NimblyUsingAliens
Morning Sickness
"My wife had morning sickness for about half of every one of her pregnancies. Women are amazing at dealing with all of that. On the plus side, after it subsided, sex was great. Just got better and better until the birth."
- fatmanwa
Coercive Marriage
"He had more experience than me, and wouldn't listen to me when I said what he was doing didn't feel good. He would tell me he knew what he was doing and to just let him."
- Tygermouse
Self-Respect
"Before my divorce, I got tired of being rejected and having promises made that were never going to be kept."
- Im_not_that_angry
Possible PTSD
"I had an accident where someone accidentally fell on my face with their knee and crushed it some years ago (not my partner though)."
"I had some surgeries after that and my face is fine now, but I found myself unable to relax during sex since then. Somehow I am not able to give up control and just let it go while doing physical activities that include two people who are physically close together."
- LimaZim
Mental Health
"My mental health has been up and down lately so sex has been a rare occurrence. We had a dry spell that lasted about a year. People underestimate how much mental health can affect a person."
- BedBoundBean
Turned Away
"I got tired of being turned down, so I gave up."
- kwunshel316
Too Many Responsibilities
"He didn’t support/help or even pull his weight, we rarely went out anywhere, and when we did, I often paid and he’d ask to use my card so it didn’t embarrass him if I was seen to be paying."
"Basically, I was giving more than I was receiving and he cared too much about image over substance. Then he expected me to be up for sex as though I could magically turn myself on like a light switch. He’d walk up to me and grope at me when I was busy. Highly bloody irritating!"
"He also suggested I needed sex therapy when the idea of sleeping with him turned me off altogether. It felt like another chore to add to my already manic list since he didn’t do much to help. Both worked full-time and my job included long travel and entertaining out of hours."
"I felt tired and resentful and no matter how I tried to approach a solution, his response was basically that he doesn’t feel inclined to help as I didn’t put out so he didn’t feel loved enough. It exhausts me just to write that."
"I never cheated just to be clear, I wasn’t getting my kicks elsewhere. I did end it though and my sexual appetite returned with my next partner."
- TheFleaBagDiary
Double-Standards
"My ex was verbally and emotionally abusive, and also a drug addict. You can't call me those names and be horrible, and then expect me to be turned on just because you take your pants off. I spent most of my marriage on the couch."
- RosyAntlers
Feeling Unattractive
"We haven't been intimate for a long time, but I've decided to stay. We have a kid and yes, it had a lot to do with the decision. I just hope I can take it until my libido dries up."
"The worst part is feeling unattractive. I take pains to make sure she knows she's beautiful, and you'd swear I don't exist unless I beg to be noticed."
"There are times when it's better, but it's always after I've almost left over it."
- carsonArtsome
Changing Over Time
"We started dating when we were 15, we were pretty much the same person as each other. Time went on and we changed as people."
"She stopped working and I gained a bit of weight with stress and being overworked. She stopped being attracted to me and we were just two completely different people from when we first met."
"It ended horribly but I’m now with a lady whom I love very much and we’re getting married later this year."
- Korncakes
Unrealistic Expectations
"I was tired of being called a cow. I was left at home every weekend while he took our only car to his friend's house 2+ hours away. I was exhausted from working four 10-hour days and then spending my three days off doing all the yard work, housework, getting groceries, and then being expected to perform like I wasn't entirely exhausted."
"I lasted two years in that marriage."
- ItsSarahMarie
Whether it's poor relationship dynamics or health concerns, there are all sorts of reasons why the physical relationship between a couple will change over time. The question ultimately is how important physical intimacy is to both people and how to make sure they both continue to feel fulfilled by the relationship.