Sexual invitations are apparently in the eye of the beholder.
Never again will a sneeze or a lollipop be a PG behavior.
That stuff gets X-rated QUICK.
Redditor Xikayo asked:
"What seemingly innocent action gives off a sexual impression?"
This is about to get steamy.
All About the Subtext
"When I was 15 I made an animation for my friend's dad's drilling company. It showed a drill rod rotating in and out of a dirt hole which had a patch of grass around it. My mother saw it and told me to rethink it."
- FatherOfTheSevenSeas
COUGH INTO YOUR ELBOW
"When people make a fist to cough into, that second when they have their mouths open, I always imagine them sucking d*ck, always. And it doesn't matter who, everyone."
- tibisay_the_monkey
"Read this. Coughed like this. Got enlightened. Not doing that ever again."
- secksiboi62
In Good Hands
"When a guy is putting the car in reverse and puts his arm around the passenger seat to look behind him."
- kaylapears
"YES LORD"
- Belialzebub
"Highly underrated. Being focused is so hot."
- themoondream
Routine Maintenance
"Pulling out a wedgie/adjusting the crotch area. I'm just feeling like a sandwich down there."
- ParadoxicalProblem
"I feel really embarrassed when I notice my zipper is down. I try to fix it without anyone noticing because I'm afraid they will think I'm doing some perverted stuff."
- oldcoffee
It's Just Awkward
"Adjusting your stockings."
- RhesusFactor
"F*cks sake, just wearing them is enough for me..."
- xzyvy
"Uh, when I adjust my stocking under a skirt or a dress I do this weird awkward dance and, trust me, it does not look sexual. It probably because I try to hide the fact that I'm doing it and try to do it discretely, but it never works out that way."
- Salt_rock_lamp
Pretty Much Anything Around Adjusting Clothes.
"Adjusting your belt. Especially going from one notch to another."
- KindaAlwaysVibrating
"Making room for the gorge? Sexy."
- boosayrian
"This is how I pick up women at Golden Corral."
- youknowhattodo
Through a Lens of Loneliness
"When I was younger, getting a hug from a girl would have me fantasizing about our future together for months."
- Diraka
"Sh*t, it wouldn't even take a hug for me. When I was younger, a girl could just be polite while I was paying her for my Auntie Anne's pretzels and before the transaction was over she was the one and we were going to be together forever."
- compendium88
"Look at this player."
- Maselang_Bahaghari
Gotta Be a Freud Quote for this
"The look on your face when you're about to sneeze."
- SomeOriginalContent
"Can confirm. People pay me money to sneeze, and it is definitely sexual to them."
- wanderingnightt
"They say a sneeze is 1/8 of an orgasm. That's why I keep a pepper shaker on my nightstand."
- Torpid-O
The Hot, and the Not So Hot
"Seeing a guy take off a sweater by reaching over his head and pulling it off. I have no idea how guys are able to undress this way but it can definitely be a turn on."
- DazedAndConfused0112
"Because they don't have boobs."
- aqua64
"I stuff my arms into the sleeve then slip my head in..."
- Synzy
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
There are some bizarre conspiracy theories out there. Like Australia isn't actually real... seriously? Any conspiracy theory that requires many people to kee...Risqué Dessert
"I no longer eat ice cream in public thanks to multiple people telling me that I eat them 'seductively.'"
- dragon8713
"Similarly I got in trouble for deep-throating a popsicle when I was like 8. I don't even know why I did it. My step dad told me to stop."
- Chipring13
"Eating a lollipop. Or candycane. Sometimes even a popsicle."
- XTasty09
"Can confirm."
"Our neighborhood had an ice cream party and I saw the dads do a double take while trying to stop my popsicle from dripping. Still getting smiles and hellos from them 2 yrs later."
- Throwawaybibbi
“Friends,” Right.
"Trying to make a friend of the opposite sex once you're over 25. It's SO hard to just make friends without it seeming like you're trying to get with them."
- ACakeCalledDenial
"I have a female coworker that I chat with regularly, my wife thinks she wants to bang me. 'No, Honey, not all opposite sex relationships have to revolve around sex.'"
"Turns out she was right... but I shut that down lol."
- medium2slow
The Most Innocent, the Most Sexual
"Genuinely listening/responding. I can find you interesting without wanting to get in your pants."
- Sloth_Reborn
"This. God knows how many times I have given the wrong idea because somehow people have come to conclusion that you only listen to opposite gender if you wanna f*ck them."
- Moonlights_Embrace
Wandering Eyes
"Looking someone up and down by accident. Eyes wander sometimes. Also licking your lips, that always looks suspect."
- AncientLineage
"I mean, you first have to know where to not look at in the first place. When you first meet a girl and as you first lay your eyes her, you notice she has generous goods and you're worried she'll think you're some sort of perv but really you're just making sure to never stare there again. Or it's even worse when she is just drop dead gorgeous and as you're making eye contact you're worried that you're looking at her with the eyes of a trout on an ice counter as much her beauty is intense. It's hard to explain, but it's rustling my jimmies."
- Ticoune0825
How Are You That Close to Someone?
"Telling someone they smell good."
- rebelliousturian
"The only two women who ever told me that, I slept with... so..."
- Redditor
"I'm someone who absolutely loves the smell of cologne (I'm a woman and enjoy wearing men's scents too) and one day I told my coworker he smelled good, and almost immediately he went from giving me the cold shoulder to being a lot more friendly and honestly, flirty with me. He also pretty much wore that cologne every day after that. I was genuinely just giving a compliment because I can really appreciate a good cologne but now I know."
- Redditor
Yeah, can't do this innocently.
"Biting the lower lip."
- IronTemplar26
"I hate when people think I like them when I do that but its just my anxiety tendency."
- rosiepatxh
Bend With Your Knees.
"Bending over to pick something up."
- Kingmir1
"Bend and snap. Works every time."
- DPlagtheWise
If You're Into That.
"Apparently playing with my shoe and letting it hang off my foot is sexual; at least that's what some random dude told me at a bar once."
- Bayonethics
"It's called dangling."
- Redditor
"In the past (I know about early 1900) it was a way for prostitutes to let know a guy at a formal place they wanted to offer their services. Often they also wrote the price with chalk on the sole."
- burned_pixel
Check The Grammar.
"I was working from home one night and whilst doing yoga, my wife over stretched and said without hesitation 'f*ck my a**' Unfortunately what she really meant was 'F*ck, my a**.'"
- Pxander
"That's an important life lesson right there: before you grab her & ram her, be sure to check the grammar."
- HuntforMusic
Apparently, Anything Is Sexual.
"In middle school, my day planner had a spiral ring for binding. I always put my pen into the spiral ring in order to keep them together when I packed it into my backpack at the end of class. It just seemed like a rational, organized thing to do."
"A girl complained that this looked too sexual."
- dexterpine
"What was going on in her mind....?!"
- BinaryTrip
"It’s middle school. Everyone’s going through puberty at that time."
- rosenwaiver
When a purely functional action appears wildly sexual, it's a total paradigm shift.
It does not matter if years went by with no promiscuous conclusions. The action could have been totally functional, a mundane behavior of daily life.
But it shifts.
When the threshold is crossed into the sex universe, the once behavior can never regain the old innocence.
It’s like passing the risqué Rubicon.
But this is not the Roman army stuck on the wrong side of a river.
This is an array of tongues and lips and teeth and eyes, in no particular order.
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As morbid as it is, death is the inevitable yin to life's yang.
The inevitable end of our mortality looms ahead for all of us, but hopefully it's not for a long time.
That doesn't mean there are close calls along the way.
Not everyone is fortunate, but there are the lucky few who somehow managed to cheat death and lived to talk about their close calls.
Curious to hear from those who were granted another chance at life, Redditor CrownedBird asked:
"What moment made you say 'Yep, I’m definitely dead', but survived with no major injuries?"
I Exist Because Mom Ducked
"Not me, but my mom before I was born. She was riding in a convertible with a friend of hers. They came to an intersection and the friend wasn't paying attention and lost control of the vehicle. There was a big rig going through the intersection and they went right under the trailer. My mom ducked, the driver didn't not. Driver was decapitated, my mom was lucky and only ended up with a scalp full of glass and some serious psychological trauma. She had to get over 200 stitches in her scalp But nothing else significant."
"I think about it all the time and think how close I came to never being born at all."
– Laszerus
Split Decision
"I was at the end of a 2 hour journey about 10 mins from home, pretty rural and I was probably complacent because I took that road everyday. I took a bend at 40MPH (legal limit was 60MPH so wasn’t breaking any speeding rules) which I’ve done many times before, probably faster which looking back was really reckless."
"Didn’t see until it was too late that a car had spun out on the other side of the corner and another car had pulled up to help. I slammed on but I wasn’t going to stop in time before hitting the cars pulled up/crashed. I was hurtling straight towards the other cars and people who where stood in the road from the other crash."
"It was like time slowed down and I was at a cross roads; in my mind I had three choices. Continue on my path and hit the other cars and people, veer to the right and go into a field but there was oncoming traffic and there was a chance I’d hit them or veer to the left and fly into a wooded area. I chose the last option, and in that moment I knew the chances of me surviving or not being seriously injured after a 40MPH head on collision to a tree in a 10 year old Ford KA was pretty slim. I just felt a complete peace come over me, turned the wheel and woke up slumped over the steering wheel to some poor man shouting ‘OMG I THINK SHES DEAD.’"
"Turned out I passed out from shock or something before the impact so when I hit the tree I was completely floppy and this contributed to me having no serious injuries. The front of my car was completely disintegrated, after coming to I tried to put my clutch down to take the car out of gear out of habit and my foot hit the tree trunk. The tree was absolutely fine. I drove past that tree everyday for years after and you could see the chunk my car took out of it."
– Comfortable-Pie8349
That Strange, Calm Feeling
"I was a passenger in an accident where the car went airborne and was flipped into a concrete ditch, and knew on the way down that I was going to die. Had that same feeling of peace and just accepted it. Crossed my arms, closed my eyes, and felt so bizarrely calm. We hit, opened my eyes, and realized I was upside down but completely fine. Rest of the car was smashed flat, and driver had been thrown into my passenger 'safe bubble,' so he only had minor injuries. That feeling of peace you described is what made me comment. It makes me feel more at ease about my eventual death, hopefully will have that same calm feeling."
– crunchytacodumpster
The result of peer pressure can be a matter of life or death.
Adventurous Friend
"I had an idiot friend and we were hiking. We got to this waterfall and he goes 'dude let's climb it!' I said no f'king way. He says 'well I'm gonna do it and if I fall and die it's on you for not coming.'"
"So I climbed it with him. Got stuck halfway up on a slick a** rock. Pinched a nerve in my shoulder, so my right arm was useless. I thought I was certain to slip off the rock to my doom, but we managed to get me unstuck. That was the beginning of the end for that friendship."
– blindfire40
Jill Came Tumbling After
"I nearly died following a friend who took a crazy route down a hill on a hike. It's crazy how strong that peer pressure can be."
"We were up on a mountain and he slid down the snow of this one section as a short cut. He went down in a crouch with one foot out front. When I tried to do it I ended up a starfish pose just spinning around as I came down. My legs rolled over a bunch of rocks and I came to a rest with my head in a snowbank."
"I had to hike down hill for like 4 hours after that and every step was excruciating. I just kept thinking if it was my head or back going over those rocks if I would have made it out. I still have scars on my leg."
– AmnesiacReckoner
Fortunately, there are heroes among us who don't want us dead.
The Guardian Angels
"Wife was pregnant and we went away for the weekend to house we rented in the mountains. Second day she went to bed early and I stayed up drawing. At 3am she comes downstairs and says she’s in a world of pain and is worried about baby (2 months before due date)."
"We head out and there is no cell reception. By the time we can call her doctor we realize the time needed to get to a hospital that has the right level NICU we might as well head back to our hospital. Two hours later we are there and due to Covid restrictions I can’t come in."
"It was freezing outside and they wouldn’t let me be anywhere in the hospital where I could lay down so I talked my way into some room in the lobby and tried to sleep while sitting. Got kicked out of there and just bummed around waiting for an update. Around noon they say they’ll be keeping her for observation but I still need to clear out from the rental."
"Driving back two hours and it starts snowing pretty hard. It’s a semi rural area and if they do plow the snow they haven’t gotten there yet. I’m being careful and fighting off sleep. The roads are super winding and high in the mountains. At some point car starts drifting across the double lines."
"I did my best to even out but it completely got away from me. Slide through the opposite lane and continue to the shoulder. I see the ledge and realize if the car doesn’t stop I’ll plummet to my death. Have a brief moment where I think about my daughter and the kid in my wife’s belly I haven’t met yet. Felt like a stab in my heart and that second go off the road completely."
"Fortunately there was enough snow in the space between the ledge to trap my car. I passed out in the crash but luckily a couple was a minute or two behind me and their honking snapped me out of it. They pulled me out of the car and went to get help (no service on the mountain). A couple of other people stopped including a guy who had a big pickup. We dug the car out some and rigged the rope so he was able to pull me out."
"Despite Covid I had to be physically removed from both these guys because I was hugging them so tight. I was able to make it back to the hospital without anyone knowing. Told them after the kid was born. Sent my guardian angels pictures and $100 gift cards as if that’s adequate."
– MrFunktasticc
Rescue With Assistance
"I was a senior in high school, and the student club I was in organized an unofficial beach trip towards the end of the year; no teachers or official permission, leaving me and a few other seniors in charge of supervising everything. After a couple hour’s worth of fun, one of the other students came running up to me and said that three of the younger members of the club had been swept out by a riptide and couldn’t get back towards the shore."
"Me and two other of the older students, all experienced swimmers, immediately went to go help them; my friends got two of the three kids in trouble and started guiding them parallel to the shore to get them out of the current, but the guy I went for was panicking, barely staying above the water, and started dragging me down with him almost immediately. I yelled for people to get a lifeguard and tried to keep both of us afloat, but after a few minutes (maybe five, maybe ten, it felt like forever) I was getting exhausted, having trouble keeping both of us above the water, and I couldn’t see anyone coming to the rescue."
"I started getting big mouthfuls of water and my leg muscles were starting to cramp up, and I remember thinking 'Holy sh*t I might actually die right here, right now' as the current started pulling us further and further away from where everyone was."
"Thankfully for everyone involved, one of the students on the beach had flagged down a couple of surfers, who made their way out to where we were as quickly as they could and hauled first the younger student and then me onto the front of their boards and took us back to shore. I’ll always be thankful and appreciative for those strangers who put themselves in the dangerous position of rescuing two drowning swimmers."
"Edit: As several people have pointed out, it’s not uncommon for people to die doing what I did, i.e swimming into the water to rescue a drowning swimmer without training or equipment; there are a few techniques for rescuing someone drowning in the comments that everyone should learn if they’re ever in the unfortunate situation of having to use them. I should’ve used them, but I was 17 and not thinking straight at the time and almost paid the price because of it."
– JustACharacterr
I nearly got smashed by a 18-wheeler driven by a drunkard who was swerving in and out of his side of traffic.
I had to decided to either swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid a more devastating head-on collision or into the row of parked cars on the busy street.
I chose the latter just as the semi clipped the rear corner of my vehicle and spun me 180.
I didn't hit any parked cars, but my vehicle was inoperable. The semi was nowhere to be found but I was more focused on the fact that I came out of that scary situation completely unscathed.
I continue counting my blessings to this day.
A "fun fact" refers to a piece of information that might not be widely known.
Though, the "fun" in "fun fact" is often widely debatable.
Indeed, more often than not, people find or are told a "fun fact" about anything from an animal species to a famous celebrity which might make them want to cry or even throw up.
"What is a NOT fun fact?"
Consdider Putting A Newspaper Down First...
"Bus seats are designed so that you cannot tell how dirty they really are."- SmallAndScarred
Alone in The Ocean...
"There is a whale called 52 Blue that only sings at their frequency meaning it can't communicate with other whales."
"It is nicknamed the loneliest whale on the planet."- TheLegendaryJet
Definitely Not Dry As a Bone...
"Your skeleton is w e t."- Genesis-Bae
Dance Halloween GIF by aurelGiphyPuts The Movement in Bowel Movement
"Your intestines will 'wriggle' themselves back into the correct position."
"Doctors who do any type of intestinal surgery don’t have to worry, too much, about how they put the intestines back in."-H010CR0N
Body And Soul Is An Understatement
"A certain type of angler fish reproduce via the Male burrowing into the side of the female, eventually fusing."
"The Male life is lost in the process."- Allceleatial
Never Actually Free
"People who survived the Holocaust and get Alzheimer's often think they are back in the camps."
"So they escape one of humanity's greatest horrors only to die in it 50 years later."- digitaldavegordon
One And The Same
"If you are an identical twin it is possible that you and your siblings identity’s were swapped and your parents never caught it."- m00n-b4b3
shining stanley kubrick GIFGiphyYou're Not Fooling Anyone
"Sometimes you're the bad guy."- StrenuouslySexy
Worth The Pain And Discomfort?
"When you get a sunburn, it's actually your cells dying so they don't get tumorous." - Reddit
Lasting A Long Time Might Be Cause For Concern...
"The reason you’re supposed to contact a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than four hours is because prolonged priapism can lead to gangrene of the penis."
"Blood goes in, deoxygenates, but can’t leave, so there’s no way for fresh oxygenated blood to come in, causing the tissue to turn black and die."
"Don’t worry, though!"
"This can be treated by using a big syringe to suck the trapped blood out."- boopbaboop·
someone erection GIFGiphyWhen sharing a "fun fact" with a friend, it might be worthwhile to think about the information you're about to share.
And whether or not it is, in fact, "fun".
Instead, maybe share a tidbit, or "info"?
Even if neither roll of the tongue quite as easily...
We've all heard some conspiracy theories about certain businesses, most of which are outrageously false.
That laundromats are simply a facade for shadier practices (including, not so ironically, money laundering) or that the Coca-Cola company invented "New Coke" with the express purpose of improving sales on original Coke.
But every now and then, we can't help but wonder what really goes on behind closed doors in certain professions.
And are eager to hear all the juicy tidbits from people working in that industry.
"What’s an industry secret in the field you work in?"
Literal Money Grabbing Machines
"I design slot machines for casinos."
"Don’t play slots."- psychfan5
Speak When Spoken To!
"I'm an attorney."
"The secret is shut the f*ck up."- --IIII--------IIII--
They Are In Good Hands
"Managed boarding and grooming kennels for 8 years."
"The secret is that the employees actually do love your pets too."
"Even the difficult ones, most of us realize they just miss their people."
"The number of times I’ve weeped when a pet died, or spent way too many hours comforting a dog with separation anxiety, or spent hours off the clock with a boarder who needed to be rushed to a vet office, wouldn’t trade it for the world."
"Some pets just suck though, not gonna lie."- breadandbirds
Dogs Stripping GIF by Artero Professional LineGiphyThey Just Want To Go Home!
"I'm a server."
"No matter how much we insist it's 'okay' that you are keeping the entire restaurant open after we've closed, please know we are 100% lying."
"We will get fired if we deviate from anything other than pure delight that you are keeping us from going home."
"We dread it."
"Please don't believe us."- MorddSith187
Don't Be Fooled By The Price
"I used to work in jewelry."
"Most of the prettiest gemstones are also very affordable."
"Tanzanite is a beautiful purple and looks nicer than amethyst."
"Topaz comes in lots of colors, including a pretty blue color which can be as nice as aquamarine."
"Opals aren't as brightly rainbow hued as they look in pictures."- rubicks56
What Are You Looking At?!?!
"Almost every hairstylist gets the heebie jeebies when we shampoo your hair and you just stare up at us."
"CLOSE. YOUR. DAMN. EYES at the shampoo bowl!"- picklemetimberzz
Hair Wash GIF by ALLBLK (formerly known as UMC)GiphyYou're More Qualified Than You Think!
"Used to screen resumes for small companies."
"Job 'requirements' are more of a wish-list situation."
"Never let some unchecked boxes deter you from applying, you have no idea what the applicant pool is like."
"The biggest boon, especially at small companies, is someone who legitimately cares."- TwoPesetas
If You Wonder What Makes It So Delicious...
"There is way more butter than you think in almost every dish you eat at fancy restaurants, and that is usually the reason you won't see the amount of calories in each dish."
"5 years as a chef in Italian cuisine head chef, 8 years in an Italian kitchen."
" f I could recomend one guide book for you all to have in your kitchen it would be Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat: Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking by Samin Nosrat."
"Yes there are a plethora of others but this one is my personal favorite."- BackslashR
That's Why It Smells So Familiar!
"Former bath and body works associate here."
"The scents they 'discontinue' will come back with a different name and new marketing."
"They’re just recycling the scents."- xyenz08
Bath And Body Works Perfume GIF by Bath & Body Works Asia AustraliaGiphyNothing Wrong With A Second Opinion
"Some therapists/counselors are on the wrong side of the couch, so to speak."
"If you feel your mental health provider is unhinged, they may very well be."- FriktionalTales
Hearing secrets about certain industries divulged can be a blessing and a curse.
No one would complain about not wasting their money away on slot machines.
Though, health conscious people might not want to know what really goes into their food when they go out to eat...
Finding a healthy work/life balance is extremely difficult.
Depending on their jobs, some people are barely home in time to spend any quality time with their loved ones, and weekends are hardly relaxing, as they are often devoted to chores and errands.
These are only a few reasons many people have pushed to adopt four day work weeks.
And while there seem to be multiple advantages to one's mental health and self-esteem, could eliminating 8 hours of work possibly have any downsides to it?
"How do you feel about a 4 day work week?"
Improve Mental Health
"Working a 5 day work week just makes life seem so much more pointless."
"By the time I get the other things I need to do, grocery shopping, appointments, etc., done, it's Sunday night."
"A 4 day work week might give me time to play the piano I bought to combat depression."- IHateCarShopping123
It Works, As Long As You Go All Or Nothing...
"My employer gives us every other Friday off."
"We work 80 hours over 9 days (M-F, M-Th)."
"It’s really helpful to have those Fridays to schedule appointments, and I have less desire to burn PTO throughout the year just to take a much-needed Friday off."
"Through the end of October, I had only used 2.5 PTO hours for the year, mostly for doctor’s visit.
"The only real downside is that on the Fridays that we do work, nobody wants to do anything."- MuppetHolocaust
No Downside Whatsoever
"My company switched to 4 10 hour days."
"We are diesel technicians and work 7-5:30."
"Half of us work Monday through Thursday and the other half work Tuesday through Friday."
"We have did this for over two years and we all love it."
"It is so nice to have a three day weekend every week."
"Another thing about it that is nice is if you doctors appointment or something I can make it on a Monday and don’t have to miss any work."
"Plus I forgot to mention having a two month this helps out a ton."
"More time for me to be with my wife and daughter."
"And if there is a lot to do I can just come in on Monday and boom 10 hours of overtime."- skatermofo101
Working For The WeekendGiphyBut Would You Hate Tuesdays?...
"I would probably hate Mondays less."- tonksdc
So Much More Time To Devote To House And Home!
"Life would be that much better."
"I would have somewhere around 50 extra days a year to do all the yard work and home projects that I don't want to spend all weekend doing."- forman98
Yet It Still Hasn't Caught On?
"They talked about this in the 70s."
"Yay everyone said."
"My dad did it."
"He worked 4 12+ hr days and took off Friday."
"Everyone else was like, if I work the 12 hrs the 4 days plus another 12, I can make even more money!"
"Yay!"- implodemode
Excited Jonah Hill GIF by MOODMANGiphyShow Me The Money!
"Provided there's no drop in salary, f*cking brilliant."- PM_ME_CURVES_OR_TOES
A Weekend Could Actually Feel Like A Weekend!
"I would gladly work 4 ten hour days to have an extra day off."
"2 day weekends are too short."
"They’re gone just as soon as you start to feel comfortable."- witdaSlime
When companies and organizations were forced to regroup and restructure when the global pandemic first hit in March of 2020, several companies also took the opportunity to re-evaluate their operations in the long term.
With all the evidence suggesting an overall improvement to everyone's mental and physical well-being that a four day work week provides, one can only hope it becomes more commonplace with each passing year.