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People Imagine What Brutally Honest Brand Slogans Would Look Like

People Imagine What Brutally Honest Brand Slogans Would Look Like
Elisa Ventur/Unsplash

Look, there's a reason brands don't often choose radical honesty as a marketing tactic when it comes to their slogans.

There aren't a lot of companies that could get away with just telling it like it is - but we can!


Reddit user night_howler_grt asked:

"If brands were brutally honest, what brand would have what slogan?"


And welp ... let's just say Reddit probably isn't going to get itself hired as a marketing professional any time soon.

We love the honesty, though!

Some Zingers For Zuck

"Facebook: your privacy is our business."

- Honest-Cicada4897

"Facebook: it's worse than you think."

- luxebooty

"Facebook: we won't let anyone harass you. We don't tolerate it."

"Also Facebook: I see you have reported the same person 30 times due to harassment but we just don't want to do anything about it. Sorry not sorry."

"(True story)"

- peculiarparasite

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Allergy Relief

"Benadryl: you can't have allergies if you're unconscious"

- emptEclipse

"Last time I took one I slept for like 8 hours straight."

"This was after getting 8 hours straight already and only being awake for about 3 hours before taking one. It was a few days recovering from that!"

- LM71Blackbird

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Taco Bell

"Taco Bell- same food, different shapes"

- welllhmmmm

" 'What's a tostada?' "

" 'Tortillas, meat, beans, and vegetables' "

" 'What's a chalupa?' "

" 'Tortillas, meat, beans, and vegetables' "

- more_than_a_local

"This is so true. Their whole menu can be boiled down to the same item over and over."

"Yet the only thing people love(nacho fries) they love to take away from us constantly. Who makes these decisions?!"

- Nicofatpad

"Taco Bell: 57 Menu items, Six ingredients!"

- GeneralFactotum

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Happy To Be Here

"RC Cola: we're just happy to be involved in the taste test"

- jolbina

"RC Cola: it's not much, but it's honest work."

- talk_show_host1982

"RC Cola: We know that's your last 1.25"

- BeejBoyTyson

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Ads on Ads on Ads

"YouTube: You don't matter to us now watch our double ads!"

- MuffinRacker342

"YouTube: Ad will end in 5 seconds, after which another ad will play."

- AmericanScream

"Double? Lucky, I get 4, all un-skippable."

- areswalker8

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Motorcycle Madness

"Harley Davidson: from the Great Depression to your Midlife Crisis"

- DvlsAdvct108

"Harley Davidson: we also make motorcycles!"

- shebiz

"Harley Davidson: Sure, you COULD buy an Indian or Ducati, but then you wouldn't be able to properly inflict your midlife crisis on everyone in the surrounding 3 blocks."

- DeltaJimm

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Just Not Now

"Tupperware: Have you ever wanted to throw away food, but just not now?"

- ItsDeCia

"Tupper-where the f*ck is the lid."

- Investigatorpotater

"Tupperware: remember when you reheated that pasta and red sauce? I'll never forget due to my PINK STAINED INTERIOR!"

- FrottageCheeseDip

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To-Do

"Nestlé: Where we treat human rights violations like a to do list!"

- Nerdsterhasbigpp

"Nestlé: We rob the poor and sell to the rich!"

- i_broke_my_bike

"Nestlé: water is not for everyone!"

- cyb3rg0d5

"This is why Nestlé is definitely among the very worst companies on this whole comment thread."

"And not enough people know it."

"When you actually truly believe water is a privilege and not a basic human necessity...you've reached a new level of insane."

- BobMossBobMoss

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Buzzworthy

"BuzzFeed: because you're too lazy to go on Reddit, and we're too lazy to write original content."

- thecookietrain

"I can see one of the writers awkwardly scrolling past this comment while they're putting the rest into a new article"

- Accomplished_Yak_491

"Funny and true. Buzzfeed is how I was exposed to Reddit 😂"

- SorryPans

"Same here! I don't think I've been read a Buzzfeed article since I signed up to Reddit"

- lookforsilverlinings

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Anger Management

"FedEx : our drivers take out their anger on your items."

- StickyGoodness

"FedEx: No we DID knock on your door. Just very very lightly"

- NextTrillion

"FedEx: F*ck your packages and f*ck you, too."

- CrystalSplice

"FedEx : you bought it, we break it"

- rykef

Giphy

If you're a brand manager or marketing professional reading this ... ya know ... feel free to throw these Redditors some job offers! They might be exactly what you need to revamp your image.

You can't fix it if you don't know it's broken, right?

OK who are we kidding, these brands totally know how people see them and none of these slogans are ever getting anywhere—regardless of how honest they are.

What honest brand slogans would you pitch if you could?


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Once Popular TV Tropes That Are No Longer Acceptable Today

A Redditor asked: 'What TV trope was common in the not-so distant past but is completely unacceptable today?'

Content Warning: alcoholism, sexual assault, harassment, and violence against women in entertainment

The entertainment industry is constantly changing and generally reflects what the public finds interesting and believes in.

Fortunately, this means that some problematic tropes, storylines, and messages are being retired from the writers' room, and viewers are embracing the more inclusive characters and stories they're seeing on screen.

Redditor midnightsonofab***h asked:

"What TV trope was common in the not-so-distant past but is completely unacceptable today?"

Connected At All Times

"Misunderstandings that can now be cleared up by a text or cell phone call. Entire episodes used to be built around people not being able to find or communicate with each other and just having to figure stuff out."

- OccasionallyWright

"I read a story from a horror writer and he said cell phones changed how they have to write because 99% of the stuck-in-a-murder town or house situations would be solved by phones now."

- Cleets11

"Oh yeah, for sure! I write thrillers for a living, and the idea of a 'MacGuffin' that is hidden is a lot harder to pull off when the now-dead character hiding it could've just called the right people and told them, or sent them the data in an email, etc."

"I have a very good editor (he's BAFTA nominated) and had this exact one in my latest story outline, with them 'finding' a report he's hidden. But... he could've just sent it to his daughter by email."

"As I'm older, I have to adjust my mindset constantly to deal with stuff like that."

- jloome

Security Before Love

"Running through the airport to confess one's love for the protagonist. Or the 'Home Alone' premises. These wouldn't happen today with current security measures."

- flawedmentalist69_

Women's Panic Attacks

"Not really TV trope but slapping women that were supposedly having a panic attack was almost a trope in westerns and noire movies."

- Sufficient-Eye-8883

Unresolved Amnesia

"People walking around with amnesia."

"Every freaking show, someone hit their head and had amnesia and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Like, hello, brain injury?"

- darkmatternot

Stalking Love

"Stalking a woman long enough and constantly will eventually make her fall for you."

- SuvenPan

"This was probably the most confusing thing growing up in the late 80s and early 90s."

"This odd thing was sold to both genders: the guy was supposed to keep on going after being told to be uninteresting. This led to guys thinking 'no means ask again' and girls saying 'no' to guys that they were interested in, but thought this is how the game was played in real life."

"Even in my early 20s, I saw girls in my party crew doing this, quite often harshly rejecting a drop-dead handsome guy, then being all p**sy about it when the guy just f**ked off as being told to and didn't instead start the rom-com mating ritual."

- aamurusko79

Voyeurism Was Not Okay

​"Spying on naked women or women changing clothes as an innocent boy or teen rite of passage."

- coagulatedfat

"'It’s Always Sunny' does a great episode called 'The Gang Hits the Slopes' or something. They go to a ski resort and live out 80s tropes from their childhood before realizing how f**ked up it all was, including spying on women and skiing without helmets."

- tman291

Homophobia "Humor"

​"Gay panic. I love 'Friends,' but how often the joke was AT any of the guys doing anything feminine?"

- HazeAbove

"The flamboyant gay character whose sexuality is either intended for the audience to laugh and make fun of or becomes a joke with other characters."

- DimesyEvans92

"Or in the case of 'Friends,' the straight character who everybody thinks is gay and is the butt (pun intended) of the joke."

- Friesenplatz

The Dark Side of the Town Drunk

"Comedic town drunk. Think Otis from 'The Andy Griffith Show.'"

- dominationnation

"I think part of the problem is the 'comedic town drunk' is something so many people can relate to because every small town seems to have one."

"My town growing up certainly did. His name was Silas. He drove a lawnmower everywhere because he lost his license, and would shout, 'Yee-Haw!' when it reached max speed. The man could consume an impossible quantity of alcohol and just as quickly piss it all out."

"He was homeless and on a first-name basis with every police officer in the county. He could tell the funniest, dirtiest jokes, and in late autumn would commit some minor harmless crime to spend the winter in jail (where he'd put on a lot of weight) instead of spending it in his tent."

"He was also a very reliable handyman, our family hired him a few times to remove massive trees, and he'd drop them right where he said he would."

"But that's where the comedy and trope end. I've referred to him in the past tense because he died of liver failure."

"He was ill with an addiction and desperately needed help to get past it, and that's what the TV tropes fail to discuss. Consequently, it's funny to the audience because it conveniently ignores the harsh reality of the situation."

- Kent_Knifen

Smoking Bans

"'Mind if I smoke?' in places where people would instantly object today, like cars, airplanes, spaceships, the baby's nursery, etc."

- crooked-v

​Anti-Tomboy and Androgyny 

"'Fixing' the 'tomboy' who likes to wear boys' clothes, no makeup, and do boy things."

"There's an 'Andy Griffith Show' episode that would be considered an over-the-top parody if it came out now."

- Visible_Scallion_489

No Locked Doors

"People living in NYC and L.A. who never lock the front door."

- KAG25

"Pretty sure 'Friends' lampshade this with an episode where they all get locked out and Monica even asks, 'Who locked the door? That door is never locked!'"

- rhapsody98

Questionable Family Dynamics

"An overweight, lazy husband with a smoking hot, nagging wife. Add in one rebellious teen and one nerdy kid and boom. The family sitcom recipe."

- chewedupshoes

The Hate for Wives

"The running joke in sitcoms is that every average American man hates their wife and is always complaining about her 'nagging' and just wants to hang with the boys and dreams about the single life or having more freedom but he’s a dad now."

"I think too many are sick of seeing that. It wasn’t really funny in the first place. And now society is trying to push many to see marriage as the ultimate goal anyway and vilifies people for wanting to be single."

- BellaBlue06

Minorities As Targets

"Black dude dies first. It's basically never done nowadays and the trope is almost always pointed out if there's even the possibility of it happening."

- CoolGuy69MLG

When we look through this thread, we can all think of examples of these old tropes, from smoking to consent, and fortunately, most of these shows are older.

As terrible as it might be that these tropes were once popular, it's at least refreshing to see that we are learning, that the entertainment industry is reflecting that, and some of these tropes are fading away.

When visiting a foreign country, many people like to hide the fact that they are tourists, and make every effort to blend in with the locals.

Even so, most tourists can't help but do a few things that locals seldom or never do, such as taking selfies in front of historic monuments, buying cheesy hats and T-shirts, or going to notoriously crowded places.

If doing these things will more than likely make them stick out like a sore thumb, it also won't exactly put them in harm or danger, as most tourists at least have the good sense to read a blog or guidebook instructing them on how to stay safe while traveling.

The most savvy travelers know that the best place to get advice on what not to do when traveling abroad is not online or in a book, but directly from the locals.

Redditor PM_ME_UR_DOGS_FEET was eager to hear the opinions of people around the world as to what tourists should avoid doing when visiting their country, leading them to ask:

"What should people absolutely not do when visiting your country?"

Moo!

"If you are hiking through the Austrian mountains with a dog, put it on a leash."

"The cows will hurt you if they feel threatened."

"In general, don't disturb the cows and keep away from them."- annadaso

Cows Alps GIF by MeinMontafonGiphy

Not All Creatures Are Cute And Cuddly...

"Approach wildlife, especially when they’re with their offspring."

"The amount of idiot tourists I’ve seen outside their cars within mauling distance of a bear or moose is mind boggling."-GingerMeTimberMate

"Do not touch the bison."

"I don’t care that they’re herbivores and look fluffy."

"They are incredibly strong and will kill you if they’re in a bad mood."- hartywhalers

Bison Yellowstone GIF by Nat Geo WildGiphy

No One Needs To Blend In That Much!

"I live in Barbados."

"Don't wear camouflage."

"It's illegal unless you're a part of the Defense Force."- durants

They Call It The Outback For A Reason

"Don't go for a drive in the outback without making sure you're properly prepared if you get stuck."

"There's a reason you see so many abandoned cars on the highways out there."- thethreekittycats

Back Of The Line!

"UK here."

"Always queue."

"Even if there isn’t a queue, just look around politely and ask whoever’s around if they’re queueing."

"I know this reads like a joke but it really isn’t."

"There’s always a queue, and tourists always ignore it, and that’s usually why tourists get a bad rap in the UK."-fearthe0cean

Literal Red Flag Alert!

"If you're not a strong swimmer, please don't wade out into our ocean expecting that you'll be okay."

"If you want to swim at our beaches, stay between the flags where there are lifeguards on duty."- nightlightened

"Don't swim outside the flags on the beach."- strayainind·

The Beach Summer GIFGiphy

That Some People Would Actually Need A Warning...

"Don't do the Nazi greeting."

"In fact, just don't do it anywhere."

"But especially not in my country."

"Police will arrest you for it."- Mad_Moodin

Or Stand Still In Them For That Matter...

"Don't walk the bicycle lanes."- valthorgallifrey

Be Selective When Sight Seeing

"Don't go to Hollywood expecting something."

"Also, don't spend tons of money just to see famous people's homes on one of those bus tours."

"You should go to all the cool museums around LA though, those are pretty neat."

"And the beaches aren't too bad either."- jgeradsfdh

hollywood GIF by American IdolGiphy

It's Just Plain Rude

"Don't touch the King's guard."- EmperorOfNipples

Or Any Busy Street Anywhere...

"If you’re visiting Brazil, specially a big city, avoid using your smartphone while walking on the streets, as you become more prone to being robbed."- DistantLandscapes

Not the Most PC Name If You Really Think About It

"Order an ‘Irish Car Bomb’ shot."

"Doesn’t exist here, and the name has roots in The Troubles, a dark time in our history that people north and south of the border who are still alive lost people to."- TheIrishninjas

Irish Cream Beer GIF by DrSquatchSoapCoGiphy

Not All Canadians Are So Friendly...

"If you come across Canada, don't ever dare touching our geese, thanks."- ClickWorthy69420

Many tourists enjoy going off the beaten path and veering from the most famous and heavily visited places.

But before straying from the path, it couldn't hurt to get advice from a local on just how far to stray.

Group hug with people holding rainbow flags
Janosch Lino/Unsplash

Everyone has a different journey on their road to self-discovery.

Especially when it comes to their sexual identity, many young adults struggle with not fitting in and wondering where they belong in social situations.

It's common for many of these individuals to be ashamed and suppress their identity for fear of being judged or ridiculed, while others have a support system at home or among close friends.

Curious to hear how people arrived at their moments of self-discovery, Redditor TheGreek1asked:

"What made you realize your true sexual orientation?"

Exposure to media helped these Redditors with their epiphany.

The Guy On TV

"So one day I saw a tv show, and there was a gay guy in some part of it, so I thought to myself, am I gay? And I came to the conclusion that I am in fact, straight."

– ShapeShiftingBruh

"Same! Or you may see a good looking guy but it doesn’t feel the same way as seeing a good looking woman. I hope that makes sense."

– gomeazy

Erotic Magazine

"I stumbled upon a stack of old playboys when I was 7 actually. I was very very intrigued. Before that I thought boys and girls both had penises lmaoo."

– 335i_lyfe

'Cuz Ya Gotta Have Faith

"I’m dating myself here but George Michael’s video for 'Faith.' At the beginning there is a hot girl in high heels leaning against a jukebox on one side and he’s on the other side. My eyes went to him. I thought, maybe I just want some jeans like that. Naw. I wanted what was IN the jeans."

– shakycam3

Some experimented to determine their sexuality.

Trying Oral

"Honestly? I had some doubts at first. So I let a guy go down on me during a 3some with his girlfriend. He was a freshman psychology student and had just learned about Kinsey and was making a big long speech about how sexuality is a spectrum, and nobody is truly 100% straight, and you know what? It was kind of compelling. So there I am, getting what was probably the third blowjob of my life, and I just can't stay hard. This dude was motivated, and no matter what he did... I think I was every bit as surprised as he was."

– porn0please

Best Buddy Hook-Up

"Same here. I thought, 'let’s try men, see how it goes!' Found myself hooking up with a close male friend who is, by all means, a f'kin smoke show."

"It was a safe space. I felt comfortable. And I learned - at most I’m a Kinsey 1 maybe. Maybe a Kinsey 0.5."

"If I die without ever being with another man, all good."

– astoneworthskipping

Those who were acquainted with or related to these Redditors tried to convince them of their sexuality.

Recognizing Beauty, Not Acting On It

"My sister in law was trying to convince me I was 'bisexual with a preference for men.' She wouldn’t let it go, all because I can appreciate when a woman is beautiful. I told her that I can see when a woman is beautiful, but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them."

Saint_Galahad

Little Closeted

"My best friend in high school was a lesbian, and was always trying to convince me that I was bi. I was like, 'lol no, I'm straight af.' Well, one night with my guy of many years, we were opening up about our kinks and- I don't know, I guess I just finally felt safe enough- but I realized I'd always kept a door closed inside of me where I knew I was also attracted to women."

"I've had way too many bad experiences in the past with female friends (who I think were actually crushes) to actually ever think about dating a woman, but I'm definitely also sexually attracted to them."

– Dizzy_Duck5436

Impressions made from a certain age can't be forgotten.

Kindergarten Crush

"When I went to kindergarten round-up when i was 5, I remember seeing two very pretty girls and thinking I would like to kiss them. To be honest, 35 years later those two women are still very pretty and I would still like very much like to kiss them."

– 2aboveaverage

The Handsy Child

"I remember falling in love with my first grade teacher. Ms. Florence. It has always been ladies for me. I read these modern discussions where people are debating sexuality, and it just doesn’t compute. My Grandpa told stories about me putting my hands down women’s shirts at age two/three."

– momentum_1999

My elementary teacher's assistant was a high school student named Randy.

He was the first guy I couldn't take my eyes off of.

He was a redhead, had freckles, and stunning green eyes that looked deep back into mine whenever I pretended I had a question for him but fumbled with my attempt at small talk.

I recognized him as a beautiful man but I didn't understand why I gravitated toward him as I was years from having any kind of sexual comprehension or awakening as a ten-year-old.

But I know for certain that was when I realized I was "different" when I pined for him and wanted to be near him every time I went to school.

I wonder what Randy is up to now?

Do you sometimes think about the people from your past you've had crushes on?

CW: Death and miscarriages.

It's always sad when a couple doesn't make it all the way.

Especially when a promise was made.

Isn't that what an engagement is?

A very expensive promise.

Diamonds ain't cheap.

Redditor mimi_nivi wanted to hear about the reasons why finally getting to "I DO" was impossible, so they asked:

"People who were engaged at one point but never got married, what happened?"

I've never been engaged.

And I thank God everyday.

My laundry list of exes is full of stains.

Not in Bed?

Season 5 What GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Came home for lunch one day to surprise her. Surprise was on me as she was in the middle of doing her co-worker on my couch. I loved that couch."

Siguldg

3 Months Before

"He wasn't participating in the wedding planning at all and I realized he didn't actually want to get married. There was a lot of pressure from his family and admittedly, me as well. I just wanted a family and to be married and hadn't really paid attention to his reluctance up until that point."

"It was 3 months before the wedding and I sat down and reviewed our relationship. We were incompatible at several crucial points, even though we loved each other a lot. So I called off the wedding and ended it and while we were both sad, we were also relieved."

"This was more than a decade ago and whenever we run into each other we catch up and there are no hard feelings at all. He's married and a father now and I couldn't be happier for him."

Midnight_Muse

Back in 2012

"She died due to seizures. 3 am: she was home alone. She woke up and had a seizure and unfortunately hit her head against a wall… 7 am: she was supposed to show up at her parent's house to drop off the dog before work. She didn’t. 9 a.m.: her parents went to check on her, the dog was fine, but she was unresponsive. 9:30 am she was declared deceased at the scene. 10 am: I was at work and I got a call from her father… I lost it right there. It was back in 2012 but still, I’m not over it yet."

Fragrant-Snake

Cruel

"We had like 6 miscarriages."

"At the end of the relationship, he said something to me like 'It’s just so hard… I look at your face and I feel like I SEE nothing but 6 dead babies.'"

"Can’t really come back from that one. I mean some people can. We couldn’t."

"It’s crazy in hindsight but everything just kind of worked out. I have two beautiful daughters and a stepdaughter I love and a great life!"

relentpersist

Whoops

"Turns out she liked vagina as much as I did."

wayneo88

Sometimes too many of the same interests are NOT a good thing.

Lesson learned.

Thank You

Preach Amy Poehler GIF by SistersGiphy

"He cheated before we got married and I found out. I thank the stars every f**king day I didn’t marry him."

fatfemmebish

Old Friends

"She started hanging out with an old group of high school friends and just changed. She became extremely nasty over wedding plans, telling me we had to have the exact same number of guests on both sides. If I had one more guest than she did, she made me remove someone from my side. I knew if I moved forward it would have ended in divorce, so I just ended it before it got to that."

Wastoponcene

True Colors

"The longer we lived together leading up to the wedding, the more he showed his true colors. One day while I was cooking dinner for us he started screaming at me, like an inch from my face, and called me a (see you next Tuesday.) Something about it snapped some sense into me. I walked out and never went back."

gamergirl007

Technicalities

"We’re still technically engaged, but we never wanted a wedding. We met way late in life (I’m 50, she’s in her mid-40s), no kids, and if we get legally married the gov’t f**ks with her disability assistance so she is my spouse, my partner, and my soul mate. But we don’t feel the need to get married. But I do have a living will just in case. We will be celebrating our 10-year anniversary early next year."

lovedontfalter

Holy Mary

like a virgin madonna GIFGiphy

"The Holy Spirit came to him in a dream and told him that he couldn’t marry me because I wasn’t a virgin."

hitlersd**k69420

Well, sometimes it's just not meant to work out.

And that sounds like a blessing.