Love is a tricky thing. When you get into a relationship and find "The One" you learn pretty quickly, they come with some quirks and baggage you may not be able to get rid of. In the immortal words of ACADEMY AWARD WINNERLady Gaga... "I want your loving and I want you revenge.. you and me could write a BAD ROMANCE!"
Redditor u/dlordjr wanted to hear form all the lovers out there asking.... What did your SO do that made you go "I love you, but WTF?"
You swallowed what....
GiphyIn my case, it was when she came into the bathroom crying to tell me she had just swallowed her wedding ring. And four other rings.
She took them off while painting, and put them in a shot glass on the counter for safe keeping. The next morning she went to take her pills, which she also keeps in a shot glass on the counter. We were on poop watch for 5 days until we got them all back. dlordjr
Like a Serial Killer....
I used to get annoyed with how he ate Kit Kats, yanno just biting into it without snapping pieces off, but then I watched him peel an orange super carefully just to bite into it like it was an apple. forestmoon_
Tell him congrats on infiltrating the human race. MTAlphawolf
Just Sip!
My BF regularly chokes on water. He drinks a lot of it. He fill his mouth with water and then swallows it in parts like a crazy person. He says that he forgets it's there sometimes and just breaths in. I love him and he's a smart guy but this is so dumb. I just imagine I'll come home one day and he's dead on the floor with an empty bottle beside him. I'd be very upset but also kind of angry. TheSadSalsa
Life's natural gel....
To wash her hair - she puts mud in it. Swears by it. Even seems to work. Still. Allisade
And how does her hair smell? NorskChef
Very nice actually, clay dust (mud) actually works pretty well for her hair... but it's still weird =) Allisade
Brush Vigorously!
GiphyHe brushes his teeth so vigorously and intensely that he gags himself nonstop for two full minutes.
AGHAGH-ECK-UHHH-AGHKA-AKUGH-PFL-AK
It sounds like a dog eating wet food too quickly and then puking it back up on the carpet. Like a cat coughing up a hair ball, eating it, and coughing it up again. You can hear it from the kitchen, the living room, the hall outside the apartment door, and probably the parking lot. It is truly a mesmerizing and terrifying ordeal. 14kanthropologist
Good Boy....
I was sad, so my husband decided to go to his garden and brought me a big lemon. I have no idea why, but it made me laugh, especially since the Jack Russell we had at the time thought it was a ball and wanted my husband to throw it. Dragonsrule18
Whatever floats your boat.....
I cannot be sure of this, and I never asked her... but I'm fairly certain I've walked in on an ex masturbating to pimple popping videos. It happened twice... I'd like to think she was just masturbating and not paying attention to what she was watching, as some people do. Very specific thing to youtube as background noise though. Daintyoaktree
I can't breathe!
There was a brown stain on our comforter from the dog that had a good chance of being poop. To find out she brought the blanket up to her face and inhaled deeply with her nose buried in the fabric. Like a brewer smelling hops, she then proclaimed it wasn't poop. But you didn't know that until you buried your face in it! Deathrial
This is no Home!
When I showed him the double wide trailer I grew up in he looked at me stunned and asked "Where's the wheels?" After several confused moments and numerous questions I realized that he thought RVs were the same thing as trailer homes. He was very relieved to find out my family (9 people) were not all living in an RV for 17 years. Astyyria
Can you wear socks?
GiphyMy boyfriend's toes. He doesn't have like the elongated bits, he literally has just little round balls at the end of his feet. Like he can't wiggle or stretch them and he didn't even realize that wasn't normal until he saw mine.
Edit: So it's now Monday, I said I will have pic on Sunday, apologies.
I was with my boyfriend last night until this morning and I mentioned I needed a picture of his toes for the Redditors. However, he isn't very happy with me, as I mentioned he didn't realize how weird his toes were until we started dating. I'm his first GF so he hasn't had that much to compare to I guess? Well anyway now he is upset because he is now very worried about his weird toes and is feeling insecure about them. He spent an hour mentioning 'are my toes really that weird?' He won't allow me to post a photo of his toes but said I can use the meme one I mentioned in a reply as he says it's a nice angle and I shall draw a diagram on MS paint. Hopefully my two years of life drawing will come in use.
"What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?"
Or The Singers Just Wanted To Travel?
"Ireland began deliberately entering bad songs into the Eurovision Song Contest in the 90s."
"After winning it consecutively for a few years it began getting too expensive to host so they sabotaged their chances of winning it."- Houlilala
They Weren't That Cute...
"Build-A-Bear came out with a bunch of new toys that were all the same shade of yellow right after their Minion launch severely underperformed."
"They had stockpiled yellow fabric in anticipation of the Minion toys selling well and getting a big production run and had to find a way to use it all."- everlasting1der
Be Careful What You Ask...
"I believe r/AskReddit is actually a data farming operation that is being used to feed AI algorithms in order to produce more effective propaganda, social control mechanisms, etc… but what do I know…" - Sackerson-502
Search Engine Instagram GIF by GiflyticsGiphyBut Where Do The Beans Go?
"This is dumb, but my mother believes that the coffee grinder machines at the gas station are fake..as in they make a lot of noise just to make you think what your getting is fresh coffee."
"When it's 'grinding' the beans, you never see the beans move."
"We called the gas station and the employee said he doesn't know how the coffee makers work since a 3rd party refills them up or changes the flavors."
"I've called her crazy but slowly i'm getting sucked into it, simply because it's fun."- james_castrello2
Which Would Be More Embarassing?
"Paul Pierce sh*t his pants during the 2008 NBA Finals."
"He sat on the floor apparently injured until he was taken off the court in a wheelchair and returned minutes later completely fine."
"Sitting on the floor and leaving in a wheelchair stopped anybody from seeing his dookie stains."- pierremanslappy
paul pierce GIFGiphyNot Exactly Helping Anyone...
"Micro plastics are making people dumber."- blackbeautybyseven
When They Could Broaden Their Client Lists...
"That the weight loss industry sets people up to fail, because if their products worked they wouldn't have return customers."- Funky_chicken89
What's Important, He's Out There...
"It’s not the cameras: Bigfoot is blurry."- QuillDidNothingWrong
Bigfoot Sasquatch GIF by MOODMANGiphyThe World May Never Know...
"North Korea had an underground nuclear testing site collapse."
"Kim Jong Un then went to China."
"North Korea declared in their state news paper that they have perfected the nuke, and will no longer do any more tests."
"My theory is that Kim Jong Un went to China to ask for help fixing their nuclear disaster."
"Xi told him to deal with it himself and to stop playing with nukes."
"Kim came back to N.Korea like a beaten dog."- Initial-Finger-1235
What Lurks Beneath Midtown
"Occultist architect Ivo Shandor outfitted most of the buildings in downtown Manhattan with a specific alloy which, when activated under the right conditions, would summon Gozer the Gozerian."- Rogue_Wallet
A Connection To Brag About?
"This is dumb lmao, there is a man who lived and worked as a teacher where I'm from in NC."
"His name was Peter Stuart Ney."
"It was during the early 1800s, there's a local legend that lives on that this man was in fact one of Napoleon's right hand men, and fought alongside him even."
"It's been disproven apparently by the French government over the years, it's just funny how this guy was supposedly executed in 1815, just to show up over in NC as a teacher with the same surname and military expertise just 1 year later."
"They say he was a skilled fencer, and he had precise military knowledge even though he was just a teacher for the local school system."
"On his deathbed he supposedly confessed to being one Marshal Michel Ney, the 'Bravest of the Brave', according to Napoleon."
"Wild story but part of me just fully f*cking believes it's crazy enough to be true."
"Records indicated he had shown up in Charleston SC in 1816, just a year after this Michel Ney was executed in France."
"Idk, it's just a crazy story."- actuallyjayft
pizza emoji GIFGiphy...Aside From The Fact That Fairy Tales Are Public Domain...
"Disney only do remakes to retain copyright on the stories."- AndPlagueFlowers
Likely True For Some Of Them...
"All those crazy Boomers have lead poisoning."- octavialovesart
Bodes Well For Online Dating Too...
"The Empty Internet Conspiracy."
"A large part of the population of the internet and, thus, a large part of interactions on the internet are completely fake."
"Just faceless chat bots tooling around; generating social media posts, YouTube comments, and opinion articles on news sites."
"With the rise of AI generated essays and research papers, it's becoming easier to draw lines between those papers and how random news articles can read in a way in which a human would never write."- Karmit_Da_Fruge
Internet Netneutrality GIF by Ryan SeslowGiphyAs long as people keep these beliefs to themselves, and don't try to promote them, then they have every right to believe these rather dubious stories are true.
And who knows, some of these stories are so far-fetched, perhaps the only way they came to prominence was because they actually happened.
Redditor pambannedfromchilis wanted the wealthy to spill the deets on being wealthy, so they asked:
"What is something only a wealthy person would know?"
Tell me the secrets. Just first let me get a pen and paper.
Private Listings
I Am Rich Nene Leakes GIFGiphy"You can opt not to be on those 'wealthiest people' lists - for a price."
draggar
"The number of people that actively avoid those lists is far higher than the number of people on those lists. Also, some people actively manage the amount the list shows."
Ragnel
Call Me
"The phone numbers from people who could help you out of any (even bad) situation."
purevenuscookieslog
"All you need is one person with the right phone number and worth that level of protection."
There is a neighborhood in Colorado Springs with a large number of former generals, nuclear scientists, corporation directors, etc. Within 5 minutes of a burglary alarm going off, the criminal was dead. I can assure you that the Colorado Springs police can't respond that quickly."
jeffh4
HELP!
"The less help you need, the more you get."
manIDKbruh
"You have access to favorable credit lines with better rates than ordinary folk. They just throw money at you when you have money."
dbx999
"Bob Hope used to say 'a bank is a place that'll lend you money, but only if you can prove you don't need it.'"
tommytraddles
Premium Help
"How to fully use a hotel concierge service."
Firebolt164
"Was in Australia at a nice hotel. Wanted to go to Royal Observatory but there were no tickets that evening - only the evening we could make it. Ended up in casual conversation with the hotel concierge. At some, told him how much we were enjoying our visit and he asked if there was anything disappointing."
"I said only that we could not get into the Royal Observatory. He said he’d see what he could do, catching me by surprise having been unfamiliar with what a concierge does before then. That night my wife and I were looking at the Jewel Box through the telescope at the Royal Observatory."
arriesgado
Celeb Encounters
Rihanna Boat GIFGiphy"You can rent celebrities for your private events. Not just musicians, but bonafide actors and actresses."
MediumRareTaint
"I remember a few years ago the founder of Lululemon, Chip Wilson, had the Red Hot Chili Peppers play in his backyard here in Vancouver. We could hear them from the beach below."
madam1madam
If had the money to rent people for private events, Adele would have plans forever!
What is Rent?
Alicia Silverstone My Bad GIFGiphy"Have a friend who is moving to the Bay area. To work for a non-profit. Part-time. She didn't know what her salary would be."
minervazahara
Fly High
"Private jets come with different size luggage compartments."
thinkx5
"I mean, do all cars have the exact same size trunk? No, some are roomy as sh*t and some are teeny. It makes sense that different models from different manufacturers would have different sized/shaped compartments, especially given there are some that seat 4 passengers and some that seat 14."
fireandlifeincarnate
Member-Owned
"The difference between an equity country club and a membership country club."
smurfsundermybed
"Some country clubs have vested ownership (ie 100% member-owned) while others are owned by corporations. It really isn't always a prestige thing, many older clubs in the sticks only came about because they were member-owned and built by a group of families."
"Of course, nearly all of today's old-school elite courses started out as member-owned but that doesn't mean all member-owned courses are elite."
Salamok
"Yeah, this is a good one. Also, the understanding that you can't just walk into most private clubs, write a check for whatever the fee is and become a member. Most of the equity clubs have a white ball/black ball system too, similar to fraternities, where two or three blacks DQ you."
xkulp8
When in Need
"The VIP hotline number at the children's hospital when your kid needs urgent care but there's a big wait in the ER (but your kid isn't sicker than anybody else's kid in the ER), and you won't get to the front of the line. Blew my mind when a very wealthy friend told me he did this for his child (the friend's father was a huge donor to the hospital). More power to him, but there is the wealthy and then there is the wealthy."
off_mode_auto
The Most Valuable
Seth Meyers Time GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"That wealth is not what people see. It's what people don't get to see. That the most valuable asset is not things, but time."
shidored
Whoever said money can't buy happiness is lying.
There is the biggest secret.
