Love is a tricky thing. When you get into a relationship and find "The One" you learn pretty quickly, they come with some quirks and baggage you may not be able to get rid of. In the immortal words of ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Lady Gaga... "I want your loving and I want you revenge.. you and me could write a BAD ROMANCE!"
Redditor u/dlordjr wanted to hear form all the lovers out there asking.... What did your SO do that made you go "I love you, but WTF?"
You swallowed what....
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In my case, it was when she came into the bathroom crying to tell me she had just swallowed her wedding ring. And four other rings.
She took them off while painting, and put them in a shot glass on the counter for safe keeping. The next morning she went to take her pills, which she also keeps in a shot glass on the counter. We were on poop watch for 5 days until we got them all back. dlordjr
Like a Serial Killer....
I used to get annoyed with how he ate Kit Kats, yanno just biting into it without snapping pieces off, but then I watched him peel an orange super carefully just to bite into it like it was an apple. forestmoon_
Tell him congrats on infiltrating the human race. MTAlphawolf
Just Sip!
My BF regularly chokes on water. He drinks a lot of it. He fill his mouth with water and then swallows it in parts like a crazy person. He says that he forgets it's there sometimes and just breaths in. I love him and he's a smart guy but this is so dumb. I just imagine I'll come home one day and he's dead on the floor with an empty bottle beside him. I'd be very upset but also kind of angry. TheSadSalsa
Life's natural gel....
To wash her hair - she puts mud in it. Swears by it. Even seems to work. Still. Allisade
And how does her hair smell? NorskChef
Very nice actually, clay dust (mud) actually works pretty well for her hair... but it's still weird =) Allisade
Brush Vigorously!
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He brushes his teeth so vigorously and intensely that he gags himself nonstop for two full minutes.
AGHAGH-ECK-UHHH-AGHKA-AKUGH-PFL-AK
It sounds like a dog eating wet food too quickly and then puking it back up on the carpet. Like a cat coughing up a hair ball, eating it, and coughing it up again. You can hear it from the kitchen, the living room, the hall outside the apartment door, and probably the parking lot. It is truly a mesmerizing and terrifying ordeal. 14kanthropologist
Good Boy....
I was sad, so my husband decided to go to his garden and brought me a big lemon. I have no idea why, but it made me laugh, especially since the Jack Russell we had at the time thought it was a ball and wanted my husband to throw it. Dragonsrule18
Whatever floats your boat.....
I cannot be sure of this, and I never asked her... but I'm fairly certain I've walked in on an ex masturbating to pimple popping videos. It happened twice... I'd like to think she was just masturbating and not paying attention to what she was watching, as some people do. Very specific thing to youtube as background noise though. Daintyoaktree
I can't breathe!
There was a brown stain on our comforter from the dog that had a good chance of being poop. To find out she brought the blanket up to her face and inhaled deeply with her nose buried in the fabric. Like a brewer smelling hops, she then proclaimed it wasn't poop. But you didn't know that until you buried your face in it! Deathrial
This is no Home!
When I showed him the double wide trailer I grew up in he looked at me stunned and asked "Where's the wheels?" After several confused moments and numerous questions I realized that he thought RVs were the same thing as trailer homes. He was very relieved to find out my family (9 people) were not all living in an RV for 17 years. Astyyria
Can you wear socks?
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My boyfriend's toes. He doesn't have like the elongated bits, he literally has just little round balls at the end of his feet. Like he can't wiggle or stretch them and he didn't even realize that wasn't normal until he saw mine.
Edit: So it's now Monday, I said I will have pic on Sunday, apologies.
I was with my boyfriend last night until this morning and I mentioned I needed a picture of his toes for the Redditors. However, he isn't very happy with me, as I mentioned he didn't realize how weird his toes were until we started dating. I'm his first GF so he hasn't had that much to compare to I guess? Well anyway now he is upset because he is now very worried about his weird toes and is feeling insecure about them. He spent an hour mentioning 'are my toes really that weird?' He won't allow me to post a photo of his toes but said I can use the meme one I mentioned in a reply as he says it's a nice angle and I shall draw a diagram on MS paint. Hopefully my two years of life drawing will come in use.
Reddit user ts_13_ asked:
"What’s a food you can’t buy because you will literally eat the entire thing in one sitting?"
Never. See. The. Cookies. Again.
But I don't feel bad about it, cause I'm absolutely not the only one out here with self control issues. Here are Reddit's snack confessions.
Serving Size
Tortilla Chips GIF by Salsarita's Fresh Mexican GrillGiphy"Chips."
"The larger size bags are a better value, but I almost always get a small bag. Why? Self-preservation."
"Regardless of how big the bag is, for me the serving size for chips is one bag."
- GrumpyCatStevens
"Same, can’t open a bag of chips/chip-like things (Doritos, Cheetos, etc.) without it being gone and me being full of shame."
"Crunchy, salty, and savory is a deadly combo for me."
- [Reddit]
"Same!"
"The routine is eat half the bag, lie to myself and save the other half for another day…an hour later eat the rest of the bag."
- Ill-Marionberry-9071
Literally Heaven
"Fresh warm French bread that just came out of the bakery"
- Original-Area-8739
"Dude fresh bread straight out the oven is literally heaven. I will eat an entire loaf, I’ve done it before and I'll do it again."
- ts_13_
"I bought a breadmaker at the beginning of the pandemic and man it is dangerous."
"The loaves aren't huge so you can just... eat one. Like a snack loaf."
- bartnet
Addictive Personalities
"Literally anything I slightly like"
"Yes, if I think 'damn these pickles are pretty good' there goes the whole jar PoP jut like that."
"Same with cookies, chips, anything."
- IReallyLiveCorn729
"This is me too."
"Not just cookies and chips and treats, but regular meals too. It's gotten to the point where I only cook bland things because if I make something that tastes good I'll want to eat 3 or 4 helpings that night."
- sedimentary-j
"Most snacks really. I don't have a sensible relationship with food."
- [Reddit]
The Brown Dragon
Happy Get Down GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Cereal! Omg it’s bad. Specifically Cinnamon Toast Crunch (regular or the churro kind)"
- StreetNext5958
"Someone brought in popcorn at work the other day. All sorts of 'gourmet' versions. One was Cinnamon and Sugar."
"It tasted EXACTLY like Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
"I killed the whole bag. Now I'm shaking. I need more. I'm chasing the brown dragon."
- Element1977
"Omg here in Texas, HEB sells horchata-flavored Rice Krispies. First it was Cinnamon Toast Crunch then it was the churros...now it's these."
"Canela es vida"
- MephistoTheHater
A Fascination With The Frozen
"Popsicles."
"Not the fancy ones, that 3 dollar bag of 24 twin pops. Had my girlfriend come home and see the side table by the couch full of sticks and just shake her head in disappointment at me."
"It's a childhood addiction I'll never shake, I guess."
- kira7setsuna
"One day an old roommate bought a 48 box of ice cream sandwiches then went to the gym."
"By the time he got home I only managed to save him two."
- amplesamurai
"I like to eat all the colors and leave the grape ones , then eat the grape ones repeatedly until my entire mouth has frost bite."
"I've had to go to ER three times because of it and have given myself nerve damage."
- abitheshark
An Animal
"White cheddar popcorn... I turn into an animal"
- Legitimate_Duck6090
"Same. My sister has a video tucked away of me emptying a bag of white cheddar popcorn into my mouth at a stop light while driving. She made sure my husband saw it before we got married."
- Signal-Block-1797
"The amount of SmartFood family-sized bags that I have singlehandedly torn to shreds…"
- SnekBills
More Animals
Hungry John Krasinski GIF by The Animal Crackers MovieGiphy"Circus Animal cookies with the pink and white frosting."
- FecusTPeekusberg
"If surveyed, I wouldn't even say I liked them and it never occurs to me to buy them. But if they're around, get out of my way!"
- LordPizzaParty
"Have you tried them frozen? Discovered it by accident when I was staying in a place with no AC, and haven’t looked back since"
- HalloIchBinToad
ADHD Obsessions
"Anything I like. I have ADHD and no self control"
- goyourownwayy
"I have ADHD and I obsess over food too! Will eat the same thing for days until I don't like it anymore."
- jellie_99
"The lack of self control is actually the worst."
"I binge food, alcohol, people, until I’ve f*cked up my body, my relationship, my job, or whatever else."
- PinealPunch
Hidden In The Toilet
"Peanut Butter."
"If it's in the house, it CALLS to me, and I am drawn to it like a Siren from Greek mythology."
"When my partner wants to have PB in the house, she literally has to hide it from me. And I've found it a few times, so she has to get REALLY CLEVER every time she gets a new container."
"Last time she hid it in the toilet tank, and I found it because I had to repair the flapper device and found it in there."
- whomp1970
"I found my people. Can’t have it in the house. I will throw it away to save myself from myself."
"Everyone close to me knows it too, cuz I’ll announce it."
"No, no, no, get it out. I won’t stop eating it until it’s gone."
- mach1130
Easter Emergencies
crab GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I made myself sick on Easter because I ate what turned out to be 11 crab rangoons in one sitting."
"I'm lactose intolerant. They're full of cream cheese."
"Worth it."
- graccha
"I'm allergic to seafood and I am addicted to them. Luckily they're usually made with fake crab..."
- alexopaedia
Alright foodies, you're up.
Go ahead and confess your snack sins. You're clearly among friends here.
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Shoplifting and weed. Let's start there.
Fishy
Big Fish GIF by PBS KIDSGiphy"Being able to walk with a salmon suspiciously."
YorkshireCat
"The Salmon Act of 1986 made it illegal in England, Wales, and Scotland to 'handle salmon in suspicious circumstances.'”
water_fountain_
Exercise
"I’d legalize putting bikes in pools in California."
Wolfiye11
"Honestly, water biking is a great exercise and should totally be legal everywhere."
TheTrueGoldenboy
"Ding ding ding! you win!"
alemini_
Hey Spud
"Selling Unlicensed potatoes."
williamfvirgil
"As a potato myself, I agree."
CaliforniaPotato
B4TTLESNAKE
Speak Loud!
"The UK government has effectively banned protests so I'm gonna go for that."
YumYumFunTown
"here’s an article that explains it a bit. basically over here the police will now have more power to control protests. they can impose more measures, make sure people are ‘not being loud’ etc."
scseven
"Yeah super glad America doesn't have that. Right to protest is in our DNA. No matter how annoying, it’s necessary."
MRmandato
by death
death GIFGiphy"Executing politicians for treason for any crimes or abuses of power while in office. Iirc treason and sabotage are both punishable by death according to the constitution."
moldyhotdogs
Salmon? Really? Can I carry tuna or a nice cut of mahi?
Cheers all Day
Happy Hour Reaction GIF by New GirlGiphy"The ability to purchase alcohol at any hour of day, on any day of the week. How many of you have gone out late at night to buy beer only to be turned away because the alcohol section is closed, or not being able to buy any at all on Sunday? (in some places)."
isabellemwilliams
It's Food
"Feeding homeless people."
Breadflat17
"I am guessing it is to discourage some psychos from feeding them sh*t (both metaphorical and literal). Reddit taught me about a cop, who gave a homeless guy a literal crap sandwich."
Sandybat
"It keeps people from poisoning them."
derpygamer2142
Incredible
"Magic mushrooms."
ReallyDontWant2Argue
"I was enrolled in a clinical trial using psilocybin as a treatment for depression. After decades of treatment resistant depression, I'm depression-free. Even if it's temporary, I'm so grateful and I can't wait until everyone has access to this incredible drug."
Torontopup6
"I am hoping that weed legalization can open the doors for mushrooms."
MusicianMadness
Bringing the End
"I know it's controversial, but I would say Euthanasia (for very bad illnesses and elderly, if they're miserable and don't want to go on anymore). Afaik it is legal in some countries, such as Switzerland. Just wanted to add I'm not American and therefore can't relate to all the comments telling me about situations in US states, but don't get me wrong, it's interesting nonetheless. :) "
wurzlsep
Sex
Julia Roberts GIFGiphy"Sex work. I'm not interested in it, but it appears to be an arbitrary law that would be a waste of time to enforce."
"Adults can have sex for money in front of the camera for all to see, but once the camera is removed, it becomes illegal? It doesn't make much sense. The only reason it's illegal, I believe, is that the government hasn't found a method to tax it."
corneliatdyer
Sex work is real work. Let these people be.
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