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Husband Receives Email With Receipts Wife Is Cheating, And He's Not Sure What To Do Next

Husband Receives Email With Receipts Wife Is Cheating, And He's Not Sure What To Do Next
Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Maybe it was a statement of compassion, or maybe it was vengeance, but either way: it hurts.


mymarriageisruined told his story:

I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having.

My wife and I have been together for 7 years, married for 2. Everything in our relationship is great. We rarely fight or have any arguments.

This morning I checked my e-mail (as I do every morning) and saw an e-mail from someone I didn't know. I open it up and the e-mail basically stated that my wife was having an affair. The woman went into pretty good detail, showing the texts and e-mails between her and the other man. I didn't believe it until I logged into my Facebook and saw the message from that same woman which said "Hey. I'm sorry but I have some bad news for you. Please check your e-mail." As it turns out, this woman who e-mailed me was the wife of the guy my wife is cheating on me with.

I can't believe this. This came out of left field. Our relationship was never in a rough spot, I have no clue what led to this. I'm really not sure what to do at this moment.

tl;dr: Got an e-mail from a woman which shows my wife is cheating on me.

Here is what the internet said.

One

Giphy

I didn't find the advice I was looking for in here so I'll add my own.

You received some information. You need to cross check it now. Hopefully the record has date and time stamps. If they were text messages, check her phone. If it looks like messages were deleted, check the text records through the carrier to match up messages to that particular number. Look for some evidence to back up the information you received. Do this before confronting her. You don't want to go to her with just a he said she said in your pocket. You also don't want to accuse her of this if it's just some kook f---ing with you. Put some effort in yourself here.

With regard to the lawyer... in most states and unless you're particularly wealthy, it probably won't do a ton for you. Infidelity isn't generally a factor in most divorces. Google around to see whether it is or not for your state. Do get an STD test done though.

If you find corroborating evidence, when you approach her about it I'd recommend just asking questions.

"Hey, we need to talk. Is there anything important that you need to tell me? No? Is there some one else in your life right now?"

Etc. Idealy she does most of the talking. Rather than telling her the extent of what you know, getting her to confess will tell you whether she's hiding some facts still and might net you more information than you currently have. Better information means better decisions with less regrets based on unknowns.

Good luck.

Falxen

Two

Giphy

Screenshot and save everything, make sure the things/accounts you care about are secured away, and lawyer up after talking to your wife. Prepare for the worst but understand that (as unlikely as it may be) without talking to her there may be an explanation you've missed.

Get as much information as you can. But it sounds like it should be over.

oodlynoodles

Three

Confront the wife. Get the truth.

Ask yourself if this is something you want to forgive and try to work through to save your marriage, or if you would prefer to get divorced.

Many people will just say, "lol, divorce the b*tch, delete facebook, lawyer up, hit the gym," but only you can decide what's right for you. I know of at least 2 married couples in their 60's where one of them had an affair in their younger days, and they decided to work through it, going on to be happy and loving for decades.

You must decide what you want.

From your side of the story, you didn't ask for this, you didn't mistreat her, and you don't deserve this. Sorry to hear it, but keep your chin up.

SirKnightOfNew

Four

Giphy
The woman went into pretty good detail, showing the texts and e-mails between her and the other man.

That's a pretty big smoking gun. You need to confront your wife about this, you should ask to see her phone, and if she refuses, then you'll have your answer.

Caught my wife cheating too. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced. I know what you're going through. Ima give you some practical advice and some emotional advice.

Practical:

  • Immediately change all the passwords on all the accounts and move your money from a joint account to a personal one. Having some cash squirreled away is going to make things go a lot smoother.
  • Get a lawyer. I ain't even playing. Do it yesterday.
  • If you're sharing a lease you're going to have to get out of it - talk to your landlord and see what your options are.
  • Establish a support structure. Find out which friends you can lean on right now. Enlist their help. That's what friends are for - to help each other.
  • Control your anger. Losing your temper will only hurt your case. Stay fucking frosty.

Emotional advice:

  • I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You're going to be a fucking mess for a while. Just focus on what needs doing and try not to dwell on the pain. In the words of Freddie Mercury "The show must go on."
  • Stay off the booze. Booze makes you sloppy and likely to do something stupid that will give her an edge in the divorce. If you do get hammered do it with people who will keep you in line.
  • Hit the gym. Seriously. Your life is going to seem unanchored for a long damned time. Physical activity will wear your body out, help relieve stress, and keep your emotions from overwhelming you.
  • Keep the social media chatter to a minimum. The more often you open your mouth, the more likely hurtful words will come out. Don't give her screenshots of you losing your shit.
  • Communicate with her politely and professionally and only through a medium that's easy to record - aka text and email. You avoid all that 'he said, she said' shit.
  • Give yourself plenty of time before getting into another relationship.
  • It's gonna take time to heal. You're going to be sad, lonely, angry, jittery, paranoid, restless, and about a thousand other emotions all at once.
  • Finally, remember to take it one day at a time. Trust me, things will get better.

Mcsmack

Five

Giphy

I have a question for you: is this a reason for you to divorce? If so, then you should not confront your wife, you should go straight to a lawyer, and move some money out of the joint account.

But if not - then you should confront her, ideally in a therapeutic context, if possible.

Either way, good luck.

dallasdarling

Six

Giphy

Ask her not to tell her husband she told you.

Lawyer up

Verify the affair

Move your money out of joint accounts (after consulting your lawyer)

Confront her

Serve her papers

IntoTheWest

Seven

Giphy

You've got 2 options:

  1. Confront her and hope that you can get to the bottom of it
  2. Keep playing house and snoop (keylogger on computers, SMS/MMS/GPS tracking software on cellphone, etc)

Texts and emails can be faked easily with online tools, but it seems that this woman has gone through a lot of trouble get details so I wouldn't easily dismiss it. Right now you're going on the word of an anonymous 3rd party, so you will need something more tangible if your wife tries to lie/gaslight you.

My experience: Wasn't married, but my ex of almost 9 years was cheating on me with many partners behind my back. She was manipulative and a good liar, and her friends would corroborate her stories. Finally got fed up with the lies and snooped, found out she had cheated on me with over 35 people. Would have never found out if I would have trusted her and didn't look.

ender_less

Eight

Giphy
Our relationship was never in a rough spot

Sometimes it could be a difference in perspectives. Maybe you thought things were good. Maybe this wasn't the case from her point of view. Maybe things were actually good, but sometimes that doesn't really have any bearing on whether a person decides to cheat or not.

I'm sorry that this happened. I hope you have friends/family to lean on during the storm that's approaching. For what it's worth, the storm will pass. Hang in there.

schemingraccoon

Nine

Giphy

You said this will result in a divorce (if true), then get ready for that. So many people dwell on the revenge factor, I'm surprised. I just don't understand what doing that does for anyone. The longer you dwell, the worse it is for you.

Get your legal facts in order, get your assets accounted for and then you have all the information you need to start moving on.

In Canada, the infidelity doesn't matter in the legal proceedings, and I have know idea about other places.

Get active, have a good support base, and don't look for revenge, just look to move on.

passiveone99

Ten

Giphy
  1. Get out ahead of this. If you let others' actions control the situation you will regret it.
  2. For some people this is not a relationship ender for others it is. Once you decide on which side you fall the actions forward will be clear.
  3. Either way make sure all resources are in place before you take action.
  4. If you are not comfortable speaking with family or friends keep them out of the loop. You can bring them up to speed later.
  5. When taking action keep it calm and cool and factual. You don't want to give her latitude for claiming any sort of abuse or aggressiveness. Use a public place that has many exits. Say what you have to say. Say what your next steps are. Then exit. There is absolutely no point in having a conversation at this point. She will want to talk but what she has to say at this point is not important.

Everything else will follow. Some stuff will go as planned other stuff you will have to improvise.

It is a crappy situation but taking action will put you on top of it instead of underneath it.

SmithRJ

Eleven

Get all the evidence you can. It seems you have it but there is probably more. Put it in a safe location. Do not confront until you have enough evidence. You can watch and look for awhile now that you are suspicious.

Sorry man.

Marc878

Twelve

  1. Get out ahead of this. If you let others' actions control the situation you will regret it.
  2. For some people this is not a relationship ender for others it is. Once you decide on which side you fall the actions forward will be clear.
  3. Either way make sure all resources are in place before you take action.
  4. If you are not comfortable speaking with family or friends keep them out of the loop. You can bring them up to speed later.
  5. When taking action keep it calm and cool and factual. You don't want to give her latitude for claiming any sort of abuse or aggressiveness. Use a public place that has many exits. Say what you have to say. Say what your next steps are. Then exit. There is absolutely no point in having a conversation at this point. She will want to talk but what she has to say at this point is not important.

Everything else will follow. Some stuff will go as planned other stuff you will have to improvise.

It is a crappy situation but taking action will put you on top of it instead of underneath it.

SmithRJ

Thirteen

Giphy

You need to continue to act as if nothing had happened. Make sure to smile, hold her hand, and so forth. Do not have sex with her. On top of everything else, you also need to get yourself tested. If the other woman decided to work on her marriage, she will absolutely make him cut your wife out of his life. With the affair ended, your wife will probably want to bury this without ever telling you. She might even want to double down on the love with you. Make sure you resist sleeping with her, at all costs. Find any excuse you can. Buy time until you have everything in order. If the affair ends, I guess that hiring a PI would be a waste of money. But you do need to find a lawyer to get your finances in order and to protect yourself.

passiveone99

Fourteen

its better if your wife does not know, so you can prepare legally, it can be a huge difference if lawyers get involved.

Vasallo7G

Fifteen

Seen this before. #notme but it turned out, the said woman was really having an affair with married man. Sad story. But the wife got what she wanted I guess.... She blasted the fb message to several circles..

lasergirl84

Sixteen

Giphy

Personally, I think the ship might have already sailed on the PI bit. If the other man's wife is telling you about this, she might have already started the ball rolling on her end, which might mean the affair is already over (if he wants to save his marriage). She might also have informed him that she told you, and so your wife might know or might soon know that you know. The longer you put off confronting her, the more time she has to prepare, if she plans on gaslighting. Or, on the flip side, if this is just a smear attempt, the longer you put if off, the more time you will think she'll have had to prepare.

Buddahrific

People Confess The Worst Things They've Ever Done While Drunk

Reddit user S4phire34 asked: 'People who have been really drunk, whats the worst thing that you have done?'

a man laying in the grass with a bottle of beer
Photo by thom masat on Unsplash

It's no secret alcohol lowers inhibitions and sometimes messes with people's self-control.

Since I never saw the appeal of passing out, losing my memories of a party, or waking up in a strange place the next morning with nothing but the clothes on my back, I never drank myself past tipsy. That policy, however, enabled me to bear witness and remember the crazy things my friends did while drunk.

When I was in college, my roommate and I liked to cut across the woods to get to places faster. This was before every smartphone came with a built-in flashlight, and when flashlight apps were basically jokes. In order to get through the woods safely at night, we bought small, powerful flashlights at the start of the year.

We cut across those woods to get to a party one night, and my roommate got extremely drunk. There was an unexpected blackout during the party, so in addition to candles and battery-powered lanterns, my roommate turned on her flashlight. She was so drunk, she thought it was a person and fell in love with it. Every time the light shone on her, the flashlight was telling her it loved her too, but every time it shone on someone else, it was cheating on her.

By the end of the night, she was drunk that she dropped and broke the flashlight, and cried because she thought she killed it. I had to surrepticiously throw her flashlight out and replace it with mine, pretending that it had passed out, but wasn't dead. By the time we got back to our dorm, she broke mine too, but had fallen asleep right after, so there was no more crying.

Looking back, maybe it was a good thing this happened when smartphones didn't have built-in flashlights...

I'm not the only one who has witnessed someone doing something ridiculous when they were drunk. Redditors have both done stupid -- and in some cases, really bad -- things, and seen stupid or really bad things, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor S4phire34 asked:

"People who have been really drunk, whats the worst thing that you have done?"

Classic

"Had a Christmas party and there was a different party next door that was having an awards type event, I got up on stage and starting singing Jessie’s Girl. Even to this day I am mortified."

– princesssmurfet

"If it makes you feel any better, at least a handful of people at that awards show probably thought it was hysterical."

– TheMilkmanHathCome

"I was in a bar, thought it was open mic. Went on stage with the band (it wasn’t open mic) and sang ‘Brown eyed Girl.’"

– judgymom

Away From Home

"Fell asleep in the alleyway. It was dumb and dangerous. Friend found me."

– hotoatcereal

"Yup! Slept in a parking garage one time."

– Moneyshot_ITF

Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM

"It was a birthday and my friends brought me a shot for every year."

"Unfortunately I got sick on the side of a major highway in Rochester, NY @ 2:00 in the morning. Even worse I wanted them to leave me there to sleep…did I mention that it was in the middle of winter?? Lucky to be typing this post."

"I lost a lot of self respect and the moral high ground in any substance abuse conversation I will ever have with those friends."

– nytocarolina

Speech!

"Telling my girlfriends mother that i couldn't [sleep with] her daughter that evening cause i was too drunk to get a condom on."

– Various-Ostrich-5664

"This would keep me up at night for decades."

– Lukealove

"Wedding toast stuff. Obviously not directly but that deserves an inside joke nod."

– commitpushdrink

Ick!

"Went out drinking with fellow booksellers and got very drunk indeed. Had the brilliant idea to sleep close to the bookshop rather than go home. Walked around and eventually found a little hut near the car park for the attendant to work in during the day. Climbed through the window and slept in his chair."

"At some point in the night I felt very ill and rather than make a mess, I puked in the little drawer in his little desk. Filled it completely to the top, closed it, and went back to sleep. Woke up with a terrible hangover and went straight back to work. Remembered halfway through the day about the puke and have felt terrible about it ever since. Still find it hard to read Goldilocks and the Three Bears with the kids."

– MikeSizemore

Liar, Liar?

"Got arrested after puking on a cops shoes swearing i wasn’t drunk."

– BrushNo1369

"I'm thinking if he already had to have the conversation with a cop that he wasn't drunk, it was probably for whatever started the conversation."

– garbagedisposalpasta

Awkward

"My buddy told me he'd take me home after a night out. He got too drunk and didn't want to drive (good choice), so he called me a cab and got me a hoagie from Wawa."

"The last thing I remember was climbing into the cab. I really wish I could recall the events of the night after that."

"The next morning I woke up in someone's gravel driveway, no hoagie and no phone, I only had my wallet."

"I just hope I didn't ruin that cabbies night but I can almost be assured that I did."

– LeviathanIsI

That's Unfortunate

"I was too drunk to drive so I drove my RC car to the liquor store while walking behind it and it got ran over by a drunk driver. Rip SCX10."

– Car_loapher

"Hold on just the first half of this alone is f**king hilarious. “I’m too drunk to drive, so I’ll walk there. I just need to find a car to take…”"

– IronLusk

"Let me find my keys...er...remote."

– lightningspider97

All By Myself

"Trying to walk in higher heels than usual I fell into a swimming pool at a party where I didn't know the hosts very well. Nobody wanted to fish me out as I was wearing a long maxi dress it was hard to climb out on my own."

– tinkblueyez209

"So, people just straight up watched you struggle to get out while sneaking pics?"

– NottaPattaPoopa

Sound The Alarms

"Walked away from a party, went to my friends garage and slept. Woke up, went back. They had called police and coastal guard becuase they thought I had drowned or went missing."

– Den_dar_Alex

"Nobody checked the garage? Your friends sound like the bust."

– flacobronco

"Well everyone was drunk so no one thought about it. The garage was 2000 metres and owned by his dad. So would've thought to check there."

– Den_dar_Alex

Yikes!

"I came home very drunk one time and my roommate had baked this chocolate lava cake thing with a Betty Crocker mix. I took one look at it and started f**king devouring it with a spoon. He came into the kitchen the next morning and found half of it missing with very obvious spoon marks. I don't even think he got to eat any of it. Needless to say he was pissed."

– disgruntled-capybara

"Did you bake him one in repayment?"

– Beavur

"No, but I bought a replacement box for him."

– disgruntled-capybara

""Here, more work!""

– Tshirt_Addict

"duuuuude this is where you had to buy him a nice cake or give him the box plus his labor so like $20."

– ixlovextoxkiss

Woof, Woof!

"Stole the hosts lunch in their fridge, ate it, then threw it up all over their deck and it froze over in the -30°C weather and they had to hack it off with a shovel."

– HalfChineseJesus

"This is funny because if I didn't know the question I would guess a dog wrote this."

– mro777

"I threw a chicken into a swimming pool once, and then dived in to rescue it. According to my friend, I was so distraught that I took it to bed with me to keep it warm."

"When I woke up the next morning I had no memory of the night before and found a chicken in my shower."

– massive-bafe

"I was hesitant to hit this thread cause I figured it could be really dark but this has to be one the greatest stories I’ve ever heard in my life 😂"

– capnsmirks

"Was it a live chicken?"

– SentientRock123

"Yes. It was my cleaner's pet chicken, who lived in a small pen near the pool (the chicken, not the cleaner)."

– massive-bafe

A Lucky Break

"I was 21, maybe 22. Just transferred to UW-Milwaukee. Every weekend I was going out to the bars/clubs with a bunch of international students I befriended. One weekend, we all went to a frat party where some of the guys asked me to join. I wasn’t interested at the time so politely declined."

"Fast forward a couple of weekends later, me and my buddies are at a club and I got so drunk I realized I just needed to go home. I called a cab (Uber and Lyft wasn’t a thing back then) and (in my drunken stupor) realized I didn’t have any cash on me. The cab driver was so pissed he took me all the way back to the club that he picked me up at and dropped me off."

"I started walking home, fell down and broke my cell phone so I couldn’t call anyone for a ride. While I was walking, a policeman pulled up beside me probably realizing I was completely hammered and maybe needed help."

"Not sure why, but I told the cop I was part of the fraternity that had asked me to join a couple of weeks ago. He said “wait really? I’m an alumni from there. Get in, I’ll drop you off.” Brought me right back to my dorm lol."

– niemzi

If only we were all that lucky!

A pair of sunglasses, their case and an iced espresso coffee are placed on top of a counter
Photo by Tamara Bellis

Do you ever use a product and wonder... "Who in the world thought this would work?"

That seems to be an issue with a lot of items in life.

Like, who designed all these extra dinner forks?

It's all too confusing when you just want to eat a salad and a steak.

Let me keep my fork.

You're wasting water on all the cleaning.

Think before you create.

Redditor DongLaiCha wanted to discuss some products that may need more in-field research, so they asked:

"What products are clearly made by people or companies who never actually use them?"

Remember CDs?

It was easier to break into the Pentagon than open that plastic wrapping.

Who thought that idea up?

Too Dry

Hair Bathing GIFGiphy

"I swear that people who design some shampoo and conditioner bottles have never tried to use them while wet."

danarexasaurus

Assessments

"Elementary state assessments. They are the most obtuse, poorly written, unrealistic questions on earth. They enrage me. They are clearly written by people who either have zero experience in elementary education or haven’t had any in a decade or so."

meadow_chef

"I have a BA in English and couldn't figure out one of the answers to my child's third-grade ELA state test practice. I spoke to the teacher about it and she sounded so defeated about the testing. There's no way to prepare children for a test when the questions and answers are so poorly written that the students, their teacher, and the parents can't pick the correct answer."

DistractedHouseWitch

Cheap and Expensive

"A few years ago we wanted a coffee maker with a slightly larger carafe. The only 14-cup one we could find at a reasonable price was branded with Drew Barrymore's name. Whatever, we bought it. It was the worst kitchen device I've ever owned. The interface to set the clock, program it, etc. was absolutely baffling to use, never seemed to do the same thing twice."

"The instructions were apparently written by whatever guy at the factory had a cousin who'd seen an American TV show once. And when it actually did somehow make coffee, it came out shriekingly hot, to where I would put a couple of ice cubes into my travel mug when I left for work just to get it down to drinkable temperature."

Fabulous-Quality-282

Flip It

"Those who make the 'pull this flip to open' on plastic packaging of cold cuts."

MissNatdah

"Similarly, the people who make 'resealable' packages of food products where you have to cut it open in a certain place, but cutting there either results in: A) the package still being sealed closed, or B) ruining the internal sealing zipper. I have this issue with the frozen dumplings I buy and no matter what I do, I have NEVER been able to reseal the package as advertised and have to resort to a chip clip."

pls_send_caffeine

Punch a Hole

Mac And Cheese Eating GIF by Megan BatoonGiphy

"The 'push here to open' spot on Kraft Mac and Cheese."

coop_doop

"Whenever I get a different brand I just punch a hole in the same spot out of habit. It’s about exactly as hard to do as with the Kraft ones. So they might as well take out the perforating step and save .001¢/box in the production process."

Reaper_Messiah

Why do they want to keep our Mac and Cheese from us?

Give me my meal!!

Tearing Sheets

office paper GIFGiphy

"Those toilet paper holders in public toilets that cut off at two sheets."

theshortlady

"Same area: those paper towel dispensers that require a two-handed pull, commonly leaving you with two little torn-off triangles of paper in your hands."

repowers

Useless

"Zebra printers. I swear Zebra customer service is useless. I've had to call the help desks for the specific companies I've worked for because the Zebra CS is just like 'Huh!?'"

monotoonz

"We wrote our own internal manuals for how to setup, manage, and troubleshoot Zebra printers. It includes helpful information like 'Do not call Zebra about this issue, instead, see Appendix A' (which is screenshots of conversations about how it is is a known issue and the resolution should be coming shortly (dated 2016))."

001235

City Life

"Maybe a bit off-topic, but in a meeting with a former colleague of mine, the person in charge of the metro for a nearby city admitted that he had never used the metro. Not that he didn’t use the metro, but that he had never used it in his life, even once. I suspect that this kind of thing isn’t uncommon for government services."

KireGoTI

"Similar story. A lifelong friend of didn’t even know we had a Metro until a recent expansion meant she had to drive a different way into her office. She works for the city council."

TheKingMonkey

Warn You

"Hospital beds. From the standpoint of the person who has to push it around and mess with rails that get caught in the mattress and plug it in with a long dirty cord that gets mixed up with another random cord that no one knows its purpose. No retractable cords so they constantly drag on the ground and try to trip you when pushing the bed."

"Brakes that are in the most awkward position that you have to invert your knee to reach with your foot. And worst, the screeching, ear-piercing alarm that they emit to 'warn you' that the bed is not locked. Hospital beds are obnoxious."

Agitated-Effort3423

Help Please

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno CalypsoGiphy

"Customer-facing software. Developers should be required to hire grandmas under the explicit condition that if grandma can't look at a menu option and decide what to click without giving up and calling the help desk your functionality has failed."

Puzzleheaded-Bat8657

I can't even begin to get into software options.

It brings back too much PTSD.

We are now aware that the distribution of wealth is severely skewed to the top one percent of the population, and rich people have a completely different perception of how the world works and what's "hard" than middle- and lower-class people do.

But what's so disheartening is how their beliefs and limited understanding of hardship trickle down to their children, and how those children are interacting in society is honestly shocking.

Redditor WaterWire asked:

"What's the worst case of 'rich kid syndrome' that you've ever seen?"

The Jet Doesn't Count

"I used to work with someone who proclaimed to be an environmentalist. She was very preachy."

"Once I had a can of Coke on my desk. She said, 'You're going to recycle that, right?'"

"She used her father's personal jet all the time. Once, just to fly from NYC to Boston to see a baseball game."

- LiterallyOutToLunch

Disposable Cars

"A girl I went to school with crashed and totaled six cars in three years and her parents continued buying her better newer cars because every accident 'wasn’t her fault' and if she had stuff like a backup camera and sensors they 'wouldn’t have happened.'"

"She got into a fender bender in the school parking lot and her dad showed up with a wad of cash and paid the other student off."

- nosenseofpermanence

A Simple Grade Change

"When I was in college for my grad degree and I was working as a T.A. (teacher's assistant), during a specific term I was helping my professor with some admin duties for one of his post-grad courses he taught for a different field than mine, and we had this one student who was arguing that she wanted a higher final grade than the one she had gotten."

"We listened to her explanation to see if there was any merit to her request and there was something that needed to be changed, but it basically boiled down to, 'I think my grade is too low and I deserve a higher grade because I say so,' and we simply told her that after reviewing her performance we could confirm that her final grade was correct and there was nothing to be done about it."

"She completely lost it and transformed into a Super Karen and after arguing for a bit, she stormed off and started emailing me and the professor and copying everybody in the email chain: her program director, the department head, the head of our registry office, Will Hunting, the security guard, the librarian, etc., and every email she sent was progressively ruder and more entitled than its predecessor because everybody kept telling her that she was unfortunately in the wrong and there was nothing to be done about it."

"Eventually, she sent a really smug email where she said something to the effect that since everybody was a dumba** and incompetent at our jobs, we had forced her to copy her father who was really close friends with the dean to the email, so we were f**ked and we had to do as she said or daddy would get us all fired. Keep in mind, this was a grad student in her mid-twenties."

"The highest ranking person in the email chain replied, reiterating that we were all very sorry, but she was in the wrong, her grade was correct, and it would not be changed."

"Then her father replied to the email chain and just said, 'There you go, dear. I hope you learn from this.'"

"She didn't reply anymore after her daddy's email, and the matter was closed. To this day, I like to imagine that dear old dad tore her a new one for dragging him into her bulls**t and making him look bad in front of a bunch of professors from a well-known university where his BFF was the dean because she, his grown-a** daughter, chose to behave like a spoiled brat."

- Tough_Stretch

First. World. Problems.

"I'll never forget a former friend stamping her foot and crying because 'Dad sold the jet and I have to take a commercial flight to our raaaaanch.'"

- tnrivergirl

The Cost of Priorities

"An 'Influencer' wondering why other people in their home country don't spend their life traveling like them."

- OrderIntegration

"I love the 'I’d rather have a passport full of stamps than a house full of expensive things!' schtick."

"Most of my furniture is from the free section of Craigslist and I would be thrilled if I ever get to a point where I can afford an international trip every few years."

- TogarSucks

No Help At All

​"Not me, but a friend of mine was an assistant trainer at a Panera store. They hired a teenager who was only working there to meet people, and one day had a group leave a huge mess in the dining room."

"Apparently the teen turned to my friend and said, 'Should we get the help to clean that?'"

"My friend had to explain that they were the help. He quit not long after."

- SailorVenus23

Garage Entitlement

"I was complaining about having to clear off my car from the foot of snow we'd gotten. A guy at work told me there was no way I had to clean off my car. I definitely did and it took a long time."

"Him: Well then, it's your own fault for not parking in the garage."

"Me: I don't have a garage."

"Him: Everyone has a garage."

"I'm like, look out the window next time you are driving?"

- Okay-Cheetah-9125

The Intrusive Thoughts Won

"A senior rich kid in my HS was driving his dad's Jaguar when his buddy asked him what would happen if he threw into reverse at 60 miles per hour. So they tried it and essentially blew the transmission and the motor up."

"A few months later, he got a Porsche for Christmas."

- New_Section_9374

Humbling Experiences

"I had a guy work for me in the military. He thought he didn’t have to do anything because his parents would just 'call their friends.' He ended up getting kicked out for LSD and cocaine use."

- ElfLordSpoon

"I did my mandatory military service when I turned 18, seven years ago. I cleaned s**t more than once, and my father had prepared me for it by saying, 'In the military, it doesn’t matter who you are, you’re still going to clean toilets.'"

"Only a few of my mates from back then knew who my family was and that was after a lengthy, alcohol involving, conversation/interrogation, lol (laughing out loud). You don’t wanna be standing out."

- RolexWearInGray

Unrealistic Shopping

"A therapist once asked me how much money I spent on clothes each year."

"I told her about 100 to 200 dollars, depending on the year and what was needed."

"Her response was, 'You can’t even get one dress for 100 dollars' and then proceeded to tell me that maybe I didn’t value myself enough."

"All I was thinking was, 'This b***h has never been to TJ Maxx?!'"

- FortunaLady

Very Different Backyards

"When I was in elementary school, this kid lived in the only gated community in the area, and the houses were all mansions. He was telling me a story about his tennis court in his courtyard."

"I said, 'Wait, you have a tennis court at your house?'"

"He looked genuinely shocked, and responded with, '…you don’t?'"

"It blew my mind as a little kid who had to share a room with my single mom, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Spare_Invite_8191

College Tuition

"Some girl in my college classes was genuinely shocked there were students who had to take out loans because their parents couldn’t afford to pay the 65 thousand dollars a year for tuition."

"I have a lot of extended family out in California who I’ve never met, but I sometimes hear stories from my parents who keep in touch with a few relatives out there."

"One of my distant cousins, who was like 17 at the time, intentionally totaled the new BMW his parents bought him because he wanted a Mercedes instead. Can’t remember if they ended up buying him that Mercedes or not, but they probably did. Sadly."

- Scortor

Exam Buyouts

"Rich Dude in my high school chemistry class flat out asked how big of a check his dad could write to get him out of taking a major test. He was serious. Nothing happened to him."

- GrayBox1313

Poor Packing Skills

"I had a friend who worked as a counselor at an American summer camp somewhere in Pennsylvania. He said that these kids would leave so much of their belongings because they couldn’t be bothered packing them up and they would just expect their parents to replace what they had left."

"He came away with Beats headphones, brand new shoes (although a few sizes too small), and gaming equipment."

"He also said that one day they were playing a game of flag football and one of the kids fell and grazed his cheek. This kid was some child model, so his parents had him HELICOPTERED OUT OF THE CAMP so he could get plastic surgery over the injury."

- amerika0210

Messy Kitchen Dilemma

"I had a roommate who would cook huge meals and destroy the kitchen. She would eat her meal and head to her room."

"A couple of hours later, she’d come out and be fully p**sed off that the kitchen was still a mess."

"She’d had servants most of her life and was now on her own."

- msjammies73

Though we know that the rich are often incredibly out-of-touch, these examples were still really surprising. Not only is their perception of money so different, but the disposable nature of big purchases, like vehicles, is just wild to think about.

It's easy to take our lives for granted and to forget how lucky we are in our own scenarios, but perhaps the rich experience this even more so.

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.