Husband No Longer Wears Wedding Band After Honeymoon Phase, And Wife Seeks Advice On How To Broach The Topic
You're my property! Show them!
Redditor u/xcxc6879 has found herself in a marital issue that she needs some help with. She posted... My husband (26m) never wears his wedding ring anymore and it makes me (25f) sad.
My husband and I got married a bit more than a year ago after dating for 10 years. He's truly the love of my life and I'm so thankful that I was able to find the one so soon. On top of that, we're also best friends and everything about our relationship is just so perfect and understanding. We complement each other so well.
However, since about four to five months after our wedding, he started wearing his band less and less. At first it was just on the weekends when he would forget to put it on (he always takes it off to sleep) and then it got to the point where he stopped wearing it all together. I've talked to him about this and asked him why and he told me that it was "uncomfortable" for him and he always fidgets with it. He's also apparently afraid to lose it because he constantly fidgets with it and it's "a bit loose" on him. I do notice that he sometimes likes to play with the ring like twist it and slide it on and off. However, we did get the ring fitted to his finger and I don't think he's lost any weight at all since the wedding so I doubt it's that loose.
He never wears the ring to work either. The only times he'll put it on is if we're going out to an event or visiting family. It's looking to me like he feels like it's an obligation to wear the ring and not something he enjoys or wants to do, if that makes any sense. The only redeeming factor in all of this is that he still wears this necklace made out of amethyst that I made him when I went through a jewlery-making phase when I was 18. He wears it every single day and doesn't even take it off to shower. That makes me all melty and happy inside and I guess sometimes it overshadows him never wearing his ring.
My husband works as a software engineer and I know most, if not all of his co-workers know that we're married so I doubt he's trying to hide the fact that we're married to anyone at work. I am also very sure this is not a fidelity issue. He is one of the most trustworthy and honest people I know and I've basically grown up with him and know him better than anyone.
Everything else is wonderful. We're renting a great place in a great city (but we're looking to buy soon), I'm starting my final year of med school, and he's just received a promotion a couple weeks ago. It's just this one thing that makes me upset and sad.
I'm not really sure how to approach this topic anymore. I've talked to him about this multiple times and it's always just been "it's uncomfortable", "it doesn't fit well", "I'm afraid to lose it/I always fidget with it". Could there be an underlying cause that I'm completely missing? I would really appreciate an outsider's look in on this. Thanks.
Forgot to add that I wear my wedding band and engagement ring every single day and I'm always happy and proud to see it on my finger.That is quite the situation. Now some of us may find no issue with that and others are definitely in the "Hell to the NO camp!" Everyone is entitled to their opinions and people certainly had a few things to say. Turns out this isn't as one sided of an issue as you might automatically think.
How's the fit?
Maybe the ring is truly just uncomfortable for him/loose fitting and he's worried he might lose it. I'd tell him how much it means to you and perhaps suggest buying an alternative silicon ring that is less expensive and more comfortable.
Great advice, thank you! I don't think I've really stressed how important and meaningful to me wearing a ring is to him yet. My parents never loved each other and were miserable, but stayed together for my sake. They never wore their rings except for big events/to see family so I guess it's a bit of a sore spot for me when I see that my husband isn't wearing his.
What if he put the ring on the necklace?
I've had that thought for myself (wearing a ring is a hard-no for me), but then I'm pretty sure people would think I'm a widower.
Make it art!
My dad hated wearing his ring so he got one tattooed on his ring finger. Its a subtle little decorative design around his finger, but he has to get it touched up every couple years.
I did this too. My now-wife and I dated for several years before getting married last year. I've never been into hand jewelry and I'm bad about losing little things like that so we decided that I would try wearing a cheap silicon ring. It didn't go great. I lost two of them in the first few months and always found myself fidgeting with it. I got frustrated and decided to get a simple black line tattoo on my ring finger. It's been a great compromise. I get to have a symbol that signifies my dedication to the relationship and I don't have to remember to put it on every day when I wake up.
To give you a different anecdotal perspective, my parents have been happily married for more than 30 years, and my dad has never regularly worn his ring. He's a fidgeter and has lost three of them, and just can't wear jewelry.
My mom only takes her set off when doing dishes and art projects. I asked her about it once and she said she felt insecure about it at first and talked to him about it, and he tried really hard with several rings and just couldn't do it. Eventually she realized it wasn't about the symbolism for him.
But I've noticed they do hold hands in public a lot and other sorts of very mild PDA like touching her arm and feeding her from his fork to taste his food, so I think they've just found other ways to affirm their relationship publicly.
Don't overthink it...
Hey, I don't want this to take away from you feeling that your husband wearing his wedding is important, because that's perfectly valid, but I just wanted to share that my parents have been married 30 years, are perfectly happy, and neither of them ever wear their wedding rings. They just don't feel like it. In fact, they haven't worn them for as long as I can remember.
Know the facts...
Your husband does not wear the ring to these events to keep up appearances like your parents did. He has his own reasons. Maybe he does it because he sees it as jewelry, something fancy he wears to dress up for you. Or maybe he wears it because he thinks you want him to wear it at these events and he's trying to make you happy. Or another reason. Can you ask him? "husband, why do you not wear the ring daily but still wear it to family events?"
I think once you know his motivation behind it, his reasons will overwrite the sad memories of your parents.
You are not your parents...
Do keep this in mind. You cannot allow past history to dictate what you do now and I know that's a hard thing to do. Your husband is not your father and you are not your mother. There is love❤️ Too often that's how fights and arguments and bitterness start between couples they allow a bad past incident to dictate how they decide to act in the present and it's just not healthy. Our premarital counselor hit on this and I thought it was great advice.
Some a small issue... for some...
After reading your post and seeing you say he's a programmer, then reading this part about you thinking about your parents marriage when you see his naked ring finger... I'm thinking this is more your head making you think there's a problem with his love for you, and not an actual problem with his love for you.
I think you should really tell him how much you care about the ring, because it doesn't sound like you have yet - but please do go to therapy for yourself to deal with the actions of your parents and prevent that from becoming a problem in your own marriage.
My husband's a software engineer, too - and I honestly couldn't tell you if I've even seen his wedding ring in the last year. I don't currently know where my engagement ring is, either (which is actually upsetting me right now because it's awesome and I suck at remembering where I've put things, but I'm only worried about it because I think I've lost it and I'm trying to figure out where it is - not because he cares about me not wearing it). He also fidgets with his ring often when he does wear it, and because it's the only ring he's ever worn he's often complaining about how it fits and feels like it's going to fall off, and he gets anxious that he'll lose it and will upset me by not knowing where it is, or he'll tell me he thinks that I'll think he's cheating on me if he loses it and comes home without it on and I notice it's missing (this is actually how we had the conversation where we figured out neither of us really care about the actual rings themselves).
I guess my point is that the physical rings really don't matter at all when it comes to the marriage itself. Whether his finger is naked or has the ring on it doesn't matter to me, and never has, because he's what matters to me. I'm not trying to imply that you don't love him - I'm trying to get you to see that you do love him, and he loves you, and that's what you should be focused on.
What it sounds like is that you're basically happy and enjoying your awesome life, but getting distracted and finding fault with something where there is no problem. I'm suggesting therapy because you have seen a crappy marriage and it seems you're being triggered by this symptom of a bad marriage that you saw in your parents marriage, even though it doesn't exist in your marriage.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, I really don't mean to sound like I'm blaming you or anything. I'm just trying to point out something that looks pretty obvious based on what you've said in your post and comments, that might not seem that obvious to you when you're in the middle of it).
The material could be the thorn...
I will say, titanium and especially tungsten rings are horrible if you're in an accident. Jaws-of-life can't cut through tungsten, and titanium's sorta 50/50, so if you're in an accident and your hand swells... that finger will need to be cut off before the ring because otherwise it's a gangrene and infection risk.
Be direct and simple...
Tell him what you need in simple terms.
"I need to feel secure in our marriage. When you don't put on your wedding ring, it reminds me of my parents terrible marriage where they never wore their rings and it makes me sad. I'd really appreciate it if you could make an effort to wear it everyday."
This is an effective way to say it, but understand one thing: You are asking your husband to change his behavior to deal with your own issues and insecurities. Since he clearly loves you so much, I'm sure he will accommodate, but it is inevitable he will feel a tad resentful. If he does start wearing the ring more often, be sure to mention to him (often!) how grateful you are that he is willing to change his routine to make you happy.
We all have those friends who do extremely well for themselves. They're rich, and they know it... and everyone else knows it too.
They go on expensive vacations and buy the latest and greatest in technology. They want for nothing and always seem to have the means to go out or buy something on a whim.
However, we may also know someone who can do all of those things but doesn't. These are the people who are just as wealthy as those who flaunt their money (maybe even wealthier) but are subtle about it.
They live modest lives, rarely, if ever, talk about money, and never make it obvious they have money.
Sometimes, they even try to do the opposite -- make it seem like they are middle class.
However, no matter how hard they try, there are few subtle, but tell-tale, signs that they are rich.
Redditors are revealing what those signs are.
It all started when Redditor ues1bredevasked:
"What's a non-obvious sign someone is rich?"
"They don’t have luggage when taking a flight."
"So many wealthy people have multiple homes with separate wardrobes at each. To just jump on a plane with no carry on bags must be a dream lol"
This Is Off The Rack, I Promise
"They wear very nice clothing without any brand identification."
"this is kind of funny. I knew someone whose family was new rich and he would go to lengths to buy brands that he could remove the brand tags because he didn’t want people to know what brands he wore."
Money Talks, People Don't
"Most of the time, they will stay quiet about money, but never balk when presented with a bill"
"They will be very selective in those they choose to be friends with, for various legal reasons."
"I had a close friend and I never realized he was from a wealthy family until he died. He told me that his father and brother lived in another state and ran a moving company, so I pictured a two guys and a truck type of company. When I looked up his father to send condolences after my friend's death, I learned that the company operated out of multiple states and is worth millions."
In A Rich Kid's World
"I went to high school with the offspring of millionaires and billionaires and something that I always noticed was how close sibling groups are. It's because they exist in the same space in life, they understand what that means, and they don't have to worry about each others intentions (unless they plan to Macbeth each other)."
"But then also, if you manage to become friends with someone then you kind of get absorbed by the whole sibling group. They're all kinda like "well ok, clearly he's ok.""
Basic Human Kindness
"In my experience as a waiter in a fine dining establishment, they treat you like a normal f*cking human."
"Not sure if my boss coined the term, but a "100k millionaire" will treat you like you're just "the help" and make you feel like less of a person..."
Ivy League Brain?
"Went to a good university but is kind of dumb"
"I went to private prep schools all my life. I'm doing this just to see what people say. But in reality, first hand, this is so unbelievably accurate I can't even tell you. I did a paper for my economics class in college about how wealth plays into elite university admissions."
"And first hand, I've seen many friends go Ivy who wouldn't even get into state schools based on test scores"
Stuff Or No Stuff?
"Minimalist homes. I don't know why...but rich people like the simple aesthetic which honestly doesn't feel homey. They'd rather live with very few things."
"It is because they can go buy anything they need, so no need to have anything on hand in the home."
"I don't get this, if I was rich I'd have so many fun things in my house like fancy lamps and sh*t"
"When you have several houses and probably a house sized yacht you have to spread your stuff around"
"Part of this is just a lack of clutter because they have ample hidden storage."
Only On TV
"If they wear a monocle and a top hat?"
"And when shocked they drop their monocle and say "well I never!""
That's The Dream
"They're too young to be retired, yet they don't seem to go to work"
"That is telltale."
"Retired early. So, you are correct, don’t work. But truthfully we just work at different things now. We work on the house. We actually DO a lot of it ourselves. We work on growing the money for our children and grandchildren. We think of it as “family money” and treat it as such. We have helped our adult children when they truly need it. We don’t squander. We worked too hard for it."
"Real generational wealth keeps an extremely low profile."
"They have no digital footprint. They actually pay people to keep information about them off the internet, and out of any publications."
"They will keep a low profile, driving cars that blend in. Nice, reliable vehicles, but nothing too flashy."
I Won't Talk About It
"They are quiet when the discussion is about cost of living pressures, and will deflect the questions from themselves and/or nudge the conversation into a different direction"
"This works both sides, depending on "who's in the circle"... Poorer/Richer than the group sign"
"I do this for the exact opposite reason though"
"Doesn't bother with the pistachios that are hard to open."
"That’s where the true wealth shines."
Experience The World
"Casually having expensive hobbies. Stuff like sailing, skiing, and golfing. Especially in areas where those activities aren’t as accessible and if they’ve been doing it for a long time. You live in the Midwest but you’ve been surfing since you were 10? Probably rich."
Don't Touch The Readable Artwork!
"I used to have a running buddy who was very rich. For me, the non-obvious sign were the books on his bookcase. They weren't books to be read. They were investments. He told me once that if somebody tried to rob his place, they might go for the big TV, but they should go for the bookshelf."
Honestly, those would be what I'd buy if I was rich!
Do you have any telltale signs we should be on the lookout for? Let us know in the comment below.
People Reveal The Reason Why They Cut Ties With A Former Best Friend
Often, best friends can be the most important people in your life. They are the person you can call if you need someone to talk to at 2 AM; the ones that will keep your secrets, support even your most convoluted aspirations, and help you with whatever you need, even if they think it's crazy.
However, not all friendships, even those with your best friends, last forever.
Sometimes, friendships end naturally, as the two people grow apart. Other times, the friendship ends because one party did something malicious or made an irreparable mistake.
Redditors have plenty of stories of those kinds of friendship enders, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor salad_knife asked:
"What ended your friendship with a former best friend?"
A Lender Bee
"Asked to borrow money (~$3000) and told me not to ask for what, not because they needed help and trusted me but because I “had a decent job and could spare some”. Badgered me that I needed to send this money within 24 hours and kept repetitively asking when the money was ready. I was worried it was a medical emergency so I insisted they tell me why. No response except for “hurry up with the money.” Turns out they got scammed but that ended our friendship really quickly…money ruins relationships…fast."
"Edit: wow I’m sorry to hear all of you having similar experiences. Thanks for hearing me out."
"Never lend money to a friend, unless you're willing to lose the money or the friend, possibly both."
The Truth Hurts
"His wife cheated on him. I was the bad guy for trying to let him know."
"This is actually fairly standard. If you're a true friend you have to tell your friend that he/she is being cheated on. But you have to go into it knowing that it might be you being kicked to the curb."
"I realized that all that "good-natured ribbing" over time was really more malicious than good natured, and that I was the outlet for his own insecurities."
"He wasn't a "best friend" because my actual best friend would never do this to someone. But we were in a friend group in high school where the psychopath alpha threw a rock at me and broke my front tooth."
"We've had a few run ins since and each time it has ended with physical altercations."
"I was 25 in 2016 and this guy was like, "Hey Travis, does anyone here even like you?" and I was shocked that the teen dynamic was still happening."
"Went on a mini-vaca (was supposed to be 4 days) with my best friend in 2021 to NJ, she brought her (then) 8yr old son, I brought my (then) 4 yr old daughter. Her son was so disrespectful, swearing, nasty attitude and so mean to my daughter the entire trip. The last straw was on the morning of the 3rd day when he ripped a box of cereal out of my daughter's hand, she started crying and he slapped her across her head. I tried disciplining him and my friend blew up at me and proceeded to DEFEND her son, as she called my daughter a "whiny baby". We started arguing, I packed our bags and said we're leaving. I drove 4 hours home without saying a single word to her or her son. Got to her house, threw her bags on her front lawn and peeled out of her driveway."
"You’re a better person than me. I would have left her and her little monster to find their own way home."
"Sounds like how my Mom ended things with her friend. She had a son that was 3-4 years younger than me so we became friends by default. Honestly, I just tolerated him because was a foul mouthed little instigator whose Mom let him get away with everything and never disciplined him."
"One summer day we had all just gotten back from going somewhere, I had gotten myself in trouble with Mom and was given a time out (which back in the ‘80s was “sit your a** right there and don’t move”) on the front porch while our moms went inside."
"He proceeded to get my toy cars out, and while I’m sitting there he starts throwing them at me and is calling me “a**hole” with every throw. I’d had enough with being pelted and threw one back. And he screamed his head off and started bawling. His mom came out of the house, scooped him up, yelled at me and took off in her car."
"My mom asked me what happened and I told her. She didn’t blame me for not taking it, and called up his mom to explain everything. She wouldn’t hear it, hung up on my mom and that was it."
"Lots of little sh*t that eventually just pissed me off enough to where I told him to F off."
"For example, 7-8 years ago, he bought 15 tickets for a midnight premier of Jurassic World for our entire friends group to attend."
"The day of the show, he texted me to tell me that he forgot to buy "my" ticket, so I couldn't go. Of the 15 he bought, how did he decide it was "my" ticket that he didn't buy? Turns out, he gave my ticket to a girl he met the week prior so he could take her with instead."
"That was just one of many things where he f*cked me."
"It's all truly minor stuff like that, but when you have 100 minor things, it becomes clear that they aren't actually your friend anymore."
"It was my last year in a country I previously lived in and at the time it was during summer vacation where we normally spend it in our home country. We had to cut our vacation short because we got a phone call telling us that our house had gotten broken into and robbed. We came back and on that day and he was talking to me telling me he saw cops by our house and he hopes everything is OK. It was horrible with everything stolen, furniture destroyed, closets torn down and fully emptied. My family decided to accelerate the transfer from that country and there was that. A year later he messages me a long e-mail explaining how sorry he was and that he was responsible for it and that his friends were the perpetrators and that he knew who did it but didn’t want to expose them. When we showed the police the e-mail and they questioned him it turned out he was part of that group as well."
She's In, You're Out
"Renting an apartment together."
"NEVER live with friends, folks. BECOME friends with people you live with."
"Ugggh. Perhaps you can’t win"
"I live with two former-strangers who seemed cool when I moved in. We all got along fairly well, not BFFs but well enough to call them friends. We would go on hiking trips and occasionally do stuff around town together. It was nice. One of them had planned to move out to find a place with his girlfriend, but they could not find a place they liked so instead of him moving out she is moving in and he is “forcing me” to move out so they have more space."
"I put forcing in quotes because I have every legal right to stay in my home but apparently that does not matter to him, so I just “have to leave”. I don’t, of course, but who wants to live with someone who will betray your friendship as soon as it benefits him. So… now I am looking to move in with a friend. Not a long-time best friend, but someone I already know and like. I figured it’s better than meeting someone totally new and judging if they are good people in the 20 minutes you tour the place… but really I’ve lost a lot of trust in people from this experience."
"I generally assume people who are nice, cool, rational - will continue to act that way in the future. Well..."
"Choosing men over her family and close friends, disappearing to another state at the drop of a hat with no way to be contacted, oh and meth."
"My former best friend also chose men, especially toxic men over her friends and family’s relationships."
"My best friend (kinda my only friend) stopped talking to me from one day to another. Never was able to get in contact with him again. Didn't respond to calls or texts, wasn't home when I showed up, nothing."
"I still don't know if I did something wrong or what his motivation was."
"It's been just over 4 years now. Still sucks at times."
"I had a really good friend that I met in Grade 8 and we started Grade 9 and she gave me the cold shoulder, one word answers to questions, and wouldn’t look at me. I ended up phoning her one day after school and asking her what I had done wrong and she told me “nothing”. The friendship ended and it always bugged me that someone could just turn cold and like a stranger. It really sucks and leaves an everlasting impression. She never reached out to me again except to try and add me on Facebook way after high school had ended. I never accepted the request."
"Sometimes people want to move on and leave their past and it's their right. I had a 20 year friend do this to me. But thinking back....signs were all there. I mean way way back. I was the loyal one, he was the pr*ck, but I was a pr*ck too. We weren't friends I don't think. Friends don't compete; friends uplift each other."
It's always hard when a friendship ends, even if you're the one who wanted to end it.
However, every relationship teaches you something, and bad friendships can open you up for a great one!
Every town has a secret.
Secrets, lies, and darkness run rampant everywhere... if you look closely enough.
The only thing worse than the secret is the cover-up.
The way people scramble to hide facts and keep truths hidden is masterful and scary.
Redditor j_breezy_ wanted to discuss what sinister tales cities and towns have to tell, so they asked:
"What’s your small town trying to cover up?"
Secrets, secrets, secrets... all towns have them.
All people have them.
The LandFox Death GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy
"There's a lively discussion about whether or not to repurpose land from an abandoned cemetery by exhuming those interred there and reburying them elsewhere. A commercial developer wants to build condos on land currently occupied by the cemetery."
Do It Right The First Time...
"The city attempted to seize land to lay piping down without paying for it or permission, force homeowners to maintain it, and then force the homeowners to pay for the work and a large hook-up fee. It caused a huge ruckus, and the city was forced to go through the proper procedures to buy the land, lay the pipes, and fix and pay for any damages caused by the pipe laying."
"You see most folks in that area of town had septic tanks. The city wanted to charge more people for utilities so basically went around the voters to force the pipes through, claiming the people on the back of the properties wanted to be connected to the city. This wasn’t true and they faced a few dozen lawsuits because they fraudulently condemned septic tanks to force people onto the city line."
"My family ended up helping force the city to negotiate and do things properly. The stupid part of all of this, if they had just done it right the first time, they would have saved millions in labor, experts, and lawsuits and next to nobody would have cared."
"Not trying to necessarily 'cover it up' but the fire department doesn’t have an engine and the township board has not approved any of the ones that have been submitted to get a 'new' engine (not brand new cause those are expensive but ones that are useable). The board also thinks that the department doesn’t need to have safe gear."
"They’ve also said that the trucks do not need repairs and this has been going on for awhile, which has cause the issue of the engine being 'red flagged' (meaning it had to be taken out of commission). My father in law is the fire chief and my other half is on the department."
"That the water in an area is clearly causing 'mysterious brain disease' where people just like... suddenly can't walk. I put 'mysterious brain disease' in quotes because a google search will tell you it's cyanobacteria, and the area has a giant plant that is clearly dumping stuff in the water to cause these issues."
"But the entire province's government just shrugged their shoulders and said 'wow that's weird, too bad all the cases have nothing in common!' (They all are from this one area of the world reporting this) and moved on with our lives. Here's the WIKI PAGE because it's big enough news that it gets it's own wiki page I guess: Mysterious Brain Disease"
Wastedhalf life tech GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphy
"Radioactive waste. Port Hope, Ontario. Cameco AKA Eldorado Nuclear (The people who processed the uranium used for the nuclear bombs in WW2) used to bury the waste all over town or send it straight into lake Ontario. Years/billions of dollars later and the problem still isn't solved."
How many towns are toxic wastelands? It's a disgrace.
"I’ve got a few…"
"The Quakers leased a large piece of land to glass makers for centuries. The land is basically in a marsh. As the Industrial Revolution took off, the manufacturing methods caused significant pollution. The large corporations that manufactured there never really updated the methods to comply with EPA."
"The site has been seeping chemicals into the watershed for a very long time. Just up the river is one of the first chemical production sites for DuPont. They dumped directly into the river. The old guys in the area talk about trucking thousands of barrels out of the site and dumping them into lakes, gravel pits, and quarries."
"Not a small town by any stretch of the imagination, but I live in a poor midsized city bordering a larger city, which has the full spectrum. They keep building stadiums, amusement parks, etc here. The city pulls eminent domain on several square blocks, runs everyone who lives there out, and gives the land to a developer for almost nothing."
"Then they waive all property and sales tax for several decades, longer than the facility will be in use. Almost nobody here votes, the few that do are unaware of the tax waivers, so it keeps going on despite the fact that there's literally no benefit to the city or the city government."
"We have higher taxes than our neighbor, but no public transit, way worse roads, and regular problems with power and water. But the city council and mayor are rich as f**k. I'm sure that's got nothing to do with it."
"This is a sad one to me. There was an older couple here who ran a halfway house for troubled kids who’d recently gotten out of juvie, they fostered a few as well. They were loved in the community, wonderful people."
"One of them had an older brother who was a gangbanger in the nearest big city. During a visit, he snuck his 15 year old younger bro a handgun. Younger bro ended up holding up a local gas station and killed three people."
"One of them was my friend’s cousin."
"The foster parents lost whatever credentials they needed to do what they did, the kids went back into the system, and the giant house has been abandoned since around 2009."
A Dead End
"The fact that it's slowly dying, and has been for the last 10+ years. No amount of downtown renovation on the mom and pop craft shops or new fast food and cheap retail stores can change the fact that all the big industrial companies left town and there has been no attempt to replace them and no job opportunities other than... the fast food, cheap retail stores and mom and pop craft shops."
"This town (the whole county, really) is a dead end. Also, the tap water has WAY too much chlorine and other garbage in it and 9 times out of 10 your laundry will end up getting bleach stains. That's been a complaint for 20 years or more."
"About 10 years ago a lot of homeless people disappeared and when the police did the investigation they found out a guy was kidnapping and eating those people. Police found his hideout and found a half eaten body and bones from another person. People don't like to talk about it but everyone knows what happened."
Some places have just too many secrets.
Do you have any some town secrets to share? Let us know in the comments below.
People Divulge The Most Disturbing Thing Someone Has Ever Casually Told Them
What people deem appropriate to say in public these days can be shocking.
I know that we all have to vent and share, but you may want to reign in a few thoughts before speaking.
I'm not entirely sure that confessing to crimes and plotting deaths is basic chit chat.
But what do I know?
Everyone is loose with their thoughts today, others be damned.
But don't be shocked if someone calls the police just from chatter over an espresso.
Redditor Phantom_Balls wanted to hear about all the horrible things they've been told in conversation, so they asked:
"What’s the most disturbing thing someone has told you casually?"
Disturbing conversation is just part of dating.
That's why I'm single.
"Dude who ran the local pizza shop had a few drinks one night and mentioned that the reason they immigrated to the US was that his dad, an older dude who was always sitting in the corner of the restaurant reading, had strangled a dude to death in a bar fight and they had to GTFO of their home country to avoid prosecution/retribution."
"16 year old kid on meth at a youth homeless shelter I was at talked about how his dad beat his mom to death. He spoke like he was talking about any other old thing. I’ve not felt so bad for someone before then. He was given no chance at life and he was just a kid."
"I am a hairdresser so I hear lots of crazy sh*t but the one that sticks out to me is from a woman, I had been doing her hair for years and who was in her 70s. I hadn’t seen her in a few months which I found weird since she came in weekly but then she shows up one day with long wild hair. I told her I had missed her and it was great to see her again."
"She looks me straight in the face and casually says 'Oh my son drown at the beach a few months ago when we were on vacation and then I had a mental breakdown so they sent me to a mental institute for a while.'"
"Then she just started talking about the the weather like it was the most normal thing ever to say. I also still did her hair for a few years after that until she passed away and she never said anything about that again or acted off. Just so disturbing but I guess losing a child can make you a bit crazy."
"My parents divorced when I was a toddler. Afterwards, my mother had a string of boyfriends. Most of them were decent guys, but the last guy she dated before she walked out of my life entirely was clearly a psychopath. He was a Vietnam vet, an army medic. He would tell us how he and his fellow students in med school would get drunk then sneak into where they kept the cadavers after hours and do things with them, like electro shock them, put on music and dance with them, etc."
"He was cracking up laughing reminiscing about it. Keep in mind, too, that he told me this the first time I met him. I was 10. He mentioned this while we having dinner together one night."
"I knew a woman in college who’s brother was murdered (he was having an affair with a married woman), then her parents were driving to the town where the funeral was to be held and they were killed in a car accident. The woman lost an entire family in a matter of days in two separate incidents."
"I had dinner last night with my bf’s friend and his gf. His gf is super sweet and we bonded over a lot of similarities. She casually dropped last night that her mom died 6 years ago, her dad died 360 days after that, and her brother died shortly after. I had NO idea how to respond."
Losing everyone can drive anyone off the rails.
"A friend of mine was pet-sitting my rabbit (she had foster rabbits and two guinea pigs of her own). When I went to pick up my rabbit, I noticed one of the guinea pigs was missing. When I asked where he was, she casually proceeded to tell me that he was sick, but she didn't really feel like taking him to the vet, so she put him in her freezer and left him there to die. She said she knew he was dead when he stopped running around and making noise in there. Suffice to say, she never watched my rabbit again."
The 12th Hole
"Playing golf (it was a golf outing) with one of my younger commercial lenders (I was regional president at the time) when he admitted to fabricating financial statements to get loans approved. He did this while we were walking to the green on the 12th hole. As we continued to play golf I explained to him that he will be terminated and will likely go to jail. His network credentials and building access was cut before we finished golf. I terminated him in the parking lot. He eventually went to jail."
These are some harrowing things to overhear! We might need some secondhand therapy.
Have you ever overheard something truly unbelievable? Let us know in the comments below.