People Reveal How They Really Feel About Flirting In The Workplace
Flirting is always a delicate balance.
While an obvious way to get someone's attention, and let them know they find them attractive and (hopefully), are interested in dating them, it's not always appreciated.
As some people find flirting to be little more than thinly veiled sexual harassment, particularly when intentions are less than honorable.
Flirting is an even more dangerous game when in the office.
While some people flirt with colleagues for little more than harmless fun, others take flirting in the workspace much more seriously.
Whether they're the ones doing the flirting, or the ones being flirted to.
Redditor sunnyhappysky was eager to hear people's honest feelings about flirting in the workspace, leading them to ask:
"What's your opinion on flirting with / hitting on co-workers at work?"
Avoid In Office... Free Reign Outside
"I dated a coworker."
"We were not flirty or anything at work (it was a very professional/corporate place) but we went out to lunch together most days."
"We actually started off working in separate offices across the country but went to business events almost monthly and hung out."
"We only worked together a few years but have been married going on 28 years."- ncconch
Just Remember, No Means No...
If you socialize with them outside of work, that's the right time to flirt. And if they tell you no, then make sure you forget all about them before you come in to work the next day.- Metal-Dog
"That can go south quickly and cause a lot of issues."- Material_Joke1324Season 3 Flirting GIF by The OfficeGiphy
As long As It's Done With Care And Good Intentions
"20% of married couples meet at work."
"Can’t really get away from that."
"That’s why most companies train to distinguish between sexual harassment and flirting, which is totally allowed if it is done in a non-harassing way."
"I dated a coworker."
'I’m female and he’s male."
"Same department, same titles."
"I started flirting on messenger first."
"We dated for 3 years and were always professional at work."
"We 'came out' after one year, shocking everyone."
"Coworkers were very supportive."
"After 3 years we broke up amicably and worked together with no drama or issues."
'I understand that this is probably an outlier but it does happen."- typical_fridayseason 8 jim and pam GIFGiphy
Just Be Open To All Possibilities
"I admitted to a co-worker I had a huge crush on that I liked her on a staff night out."
"She didn’t reciprocate those feelings."
"She dealt with it really well at work but it absolutely ripped my heart out and made seeing her every day very difficult."
"It’s a real gamble, could work out for you as it has a few people in this thread but I’d never do it again."- knopparp
"Anything that could lead to you f*cking your coworkers is a risky move."
"Source: spent several years as a 'f*cks her coworkers' girlie."- glittertits09
What You Do On Your Own Time...
"F*ck it! "
"Do it on the boss's desk."
"Leave a souvenir."- justimus_maximusexcited episode 4 GIFGiphy
Too Big A Risk To Be Worth It...
"You're playing with firecrackers, while checking the gas line."
"Because, you're not sure your oven is working."- K_Odena
As The Saying Goes...
"Don’t dip your pen in the company ink."- Agreeable_Stick_6484
"Never dip your pen in the company ink, as they say."
"If things go south, it can cause a lot of problems in the workplace."
"You don't want to be working with a vindictive ex, or have any kinds of personal issues with someone you have to work with regularly that might affect your work output."
"Plus, you run a very serious risk of losing your job due to sexual harassment, or fraternization rules."- SweetCosmicPoperenee zellweger comedy GIF by Bridget JonesGiphy
What Will Other's Say?
"It’s fun, but I’ve been getting weird looks at the family business."- GroundbreakingFox833
Stay Away From Prying Eyes...
"If it's reciprocal, go for it."
"Just probably don't do it with other people around."
"Some people here are overreacting."- AReformedHuman
Just Be Careful, And Know Your Place
"Everyone here is overreacting."
"Don’t be a creep or a weirdo and also don’t presume to know somebody just because you work at the same place."
"The same rules that apply everywhere."
"But also don’t try and get with inferiors or superiors."
"Other than that go for it."- Pepsplayed
When at work, it's a generally acknowledged rule of thumb to always be on your best behavior.
So if you think flirting might get you into trouble, probably best to avoid it.
People Share Their First Thoughts When A Guy Refers To Himself As An 'Alpha Male'
Confidence is an admirable trait.
A person who is determined, knows exactly what they want, and goes for it despite unpopular opinion usually succeeds in achieving their goals.
But when it comes to friendships or romantic relationships, guys who exude too much self-assuredness and see themselves as superior can be a total turn-off.
Especially when they refer themselves as an alpha.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor XqueezeMePlease asked:
"What are your immediate thoughts when you hear a guy refer to himself as an 'Alpha Male'?"
People shared their interpretations to hearing a guy declaring himself an alpha.
"Translation: 'I am going to be an unapologetic a**hole.'”
“I can’t take anything from him seriously from now on.”
"It's a real life cheat code to make your reputation go to 0%."
Being A Male
"try to explain to them how much of a bitch they really are for having to boost their self importance by telling others how great they are....instead of actually BEING great."
"i will never forget my father telling me 'being a male, does not mean your a man.'"
What is he really saying about himself?
"That he’s deeply insecure."
"Narrator: he wasn’t an alpha male."
The Thing About Actual Male Confidence
"The entire sub-culture around 'Alpha Males' is centered around men being insecure. And I say this from personal experience. In middle school, high school, and even early college I was a very insecure guy and I’d watch videos constantly on 'how to be an alpha' and it would only spiral into me hating myself more for not amounting to the standards of an 'alpha'.
"Confident, secure men wear what they want, do what they want, and are comfortable being themselves regardless of what society or its standards say. I mean take Harry Styles for example, that man can wear a dress, put on makeup, and be himself confidently AND he still is more of a man than any self-proclaimed 'alpha.'"
"Manliness and masculinity isn’t about looking like a lumberjack, drinking whiskey, and working out 24/7 (though it’s okay if you do any of these things because that’s what you genuinely enjoy), its about being confident in who you are as a man whatever that means for you. People fail to realize, if you are a man and you do something, anything, that in and of itself is inherently manly regardless of what society says."
"I’m so happy that I was able to come to these realizations and deal with the real underlying issues I had of low self-esteem but it’s so sad to see so many young men fall prey to “alpha” bs and base their entire existence on the concept of trying to be 'alpha' all because instead of talking through their feelings and mental health they let their insecurities dictate their life."
Measure Of A Man
"Small dick energy."
You want to stay away from these types of men.
"Translation: I’m extremely insecure and need to feel superior and also think woman are property."
Potential For Abuse
"My girlfriend has bruises she lies about"
"'Alpha Male' is just code for I think I can beat up most people around me so I want to be treated as special and not be forced to obey social niceties and laws."
"Like an alpha of a program or videogame, highly unstable and should not be available to the public."
Let's face it. No one using the phrase "alpha male" to describe themselves is going to be likable.
Unless you are desiring to be dominated by a superior alpha under erotic pretenses, you're better off keeping your inner circle exclusively without complete morons.
People Break Down The Dumbest Thing Someone's Ever Accused Them Of Without Any Evidence
When on trial for a crime, no matter how great or small, you are still innocent until proven guilty.
Sadly, when it comes to your friends, family, or bosses you may not be presumed innocent and might find yourself scolded for a missing piece of clothing or technology, forgetting to close a window, or any number of menial, inconsequential things.
In spite of the fact that you, in fact, didn't do it and there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that you did.
Nonetheless, whether their judgement is clouded by frustration, or they were simply looking for a reason to scold and yell at you, you still might find yourself at their wrath.
Even if you can't help but giggle at what you're being accused of.
"What’s the dumbest thing someone accused you of without any evidence?"
You Expect Me To Use This?!?!
"My mother-in-law accused me of buying a sh*tty brand of hair spray, leaving it in our guest bathroom for her to use, and trying to trick her into thinking it was hers."
"She actually brought it to our house the previous time she visited and left it behind. It was totally hers."- thecooley
He Must Have Run Quite The Distance...
"Throwing stones at her goats."
"I would not throw stones at goats, but she went to my mother’s house and accused me."
"She said she had just chased me off after I did it."
"My mother told her that, if that is what she saw, then she would punish me the moment that I got home, if she would like to wait."
"My mother supplied her with tea and biscuits and, later, a light snack."
"Offered her a stronger drink, too."
"After a long time, the goat lady asked if my mother had any idea what time I would be home."
“'Well, he has only been gone a week, so another two weeks, I imagine'.”
"My mother replied, as I went to a boarding school and stayed away for three weeks at a time."- PedantichristGoat Bleating GIFGiphy
Maybe She Planted A Bug?
"A college roommate reported me to the campus police for selling drugs."
"She stated that she was in our dorm room and overheard me selling drugs to another student in the laundry room."
"Our dorm room was on the 12th floor, laundry room was in the basement of the building."
"She got pissed when campus police laughed at her statement."- MissConduct0120
How Dare You Not Break The Law To Help Me!
"I once had a co-worker write to my manager to complain I was racist because I wouldn’t pirate a copy of Norton Utilities and give it to her."- Yorkie_Mom_2
Wrong Ex, maybe?
"One time I started getting a bunch of texts from an ex accusing me of being on a trip with some other girl and throwing all kinds of insults my way."
"Not only was she my ex and I was not talking to her or planning to reconcile, so that if I was in fact on a trip with some other girl it was none of her business, but I was actually literally sitting on my couch with my dog watching TV."
"I told her I hadn't the slightest idea of what she was yelling about and sent her a picture of me and my dog in my living room."
"She replied, "F*ck," and I didn't hear from her for weeks until the crazy ultimately outweighed any embarrassment she felt."
"To this day I have no idea why she thought I was on a trip in the first place, especially since her texts were pretty specific and she mentioned where she claimed I was and other details."- Tough_StretchWork From Home Dog GIFGiphy
Could Have Been Worse?
"I was accused of throwing a potato at a shed, totally not true."- bobbejaan79
They Were At Least Half Right...
"Insubordination for failing to report in to work for over a month."
"I resigned a month earlier."- Fifth_Wall0666·
Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
"I was in either first grade or kindergarten, and the chain link fence on the side of our playground had fallen over / caved in."
"Me and my friends looked at it and wondered how it happened."
"Then a teacher came by and yelled at us for breaking the fence and we all got put in time-out for the rest of recess."
"WE WERE 6, HOW WOULD WE MANGLE A CHAIN LINK FENCE WITH OUR HANDS?!"- Rabid_Chocobobuster keaton fence GIF by MauditGiphy
Some Might Consider This A Compliment...
"In High School, half the school thought I was Gay, and the other half thought I was a vegetarian."
"I'm neither, and I have no idea how the two related."- Group_of_no_one
When All You Were Doing Was Trying To Help...
"One day when I was in 5th grade a female collie followed me home from school."
"I walked around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but nobody knew whose dog she was."
"I left my neighborhood and crossed a four lane."
"I carried her so she wouldn't get hit by a car (I didn't own a dog leash)."
"After knocking doors and asking around, I had to go home but she just kept following me."
"I picked her back up and carried her back across the four lane, put her down and we walked another block."
"Then the owner pulled up, stopped in the middle of the intersection, got out of his car, and called her."
"She ran to him, and hopped up in the car."
"I told him I'd been trying to find her owners for hours."
"The old bastard said, 'Yeah, someone saw you carrying her'," implying that I stole her."
"Then he plopped his fat a** back in his Cadillac and sped away."
"No good deed..."- TheC0zmoborder collie dog GIF by Rover.comGiphy
Punished For Being Poor
"Being a thief because I was a student."
"Money was going missing from the tills in the bar I worked at on some evening and weekends."
"Walked into work and got called out back with the manager."
"Was told money was missing and was suspended there and then."
"I asked when this money went missing and it wasn’t even when I was working!"
"I asked why I was the prime suspect and the managers wife pointed the finger at me because I was a student and therefore must have needed the money."
"About a week later the actual thief was caught red handed putting money from the till into his pocket by the manager."
"This was back the mid 90s so no cameras to view, which would have cleared it up straight away."
"Instead, they cast blame with evidence that actually proved it couldn’t have been me because the times the money went missing, I wasn’t even there, but hey ho."- idiBanashapan
Clearly, these hasty accusers must never have heard the saying "let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Sadly, it's sometimes easier for people to just place blame as fast as they can.
Even if evidence and logic are not on their side.
Movies are meant to make us feel things.
What those things are is intimate to each individual.
Art shines a light on the here and now.
And no art or film is better at that than documentaries.
Thanks to the golden age of television we are inundated with documentaries.
They give us a glimpse into real life.
And real life... is horrible.
Some documentaries leave more nighrtmares than Michale Myers.
Redditor CoatedTrout4 wanted to discuss the documentaries that have made us feel uneasy, so they asked:
"What Are Some Disturbing Documentaries?"
I've been SHOOK by far too many documentaries.
But they are so important.
"The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez :( heartbreaking and so upsetting as the audience learns about how many opportunities this boy’s life could have been saved."
"Sixty complaints were filed against the abusers between 2005 and 2012. Sixty. F**king. Complaints. Teachers called social services. A family called social services. Police officers reported it to their Sheriffs, risking their jobs in the process. And yet nothing was done. It's unbelievable. I can't wrap my head around it."
Two of a Kind
"Tell Me Who I Am. It’s about two twins, one of whom lost his memory after an accident at 18. They unravel a dark secret that only one remembers. Worth a watch but really dark."
"It's crazy how you can look at both of them. The one with the memories looks so tired and worn in the eyes, the other doesn't have that same look. Then there's that moment you realize you were so wrong with your assumptions of the story."
"I know, it's really sad. It was nice to see that they otherwise seemed to have a great relationship. I can see how having those memories while your brother did not make you bitter."
"Abducted in Plain Sight is strange. Man is obsessed with a friend's young daughter, kidnaps and 'marries' her twice, somewhat with the parent's consent."
"I heard about it in a similar Reddit thread a few years ago. Available on Netflix."
"When the parents went to press charges and the ole boy said 'Press charges and I'll tell the press how I had sexual relations with both of you' so the parents DROPPED THE CHARGES because apparently - their reputation was more important than the well being of their daughter. What a bunch of bulls**t. That girl deserved so much better."
In the Wilderness
"Grizzly Man by Werner Herzog. It's about bear enthusiast Timothy Treadwell who went to live with Alaskan brown bears during the salmon spawning season. It's only slightly disturbing, but it is fascinating.
"I remember getting increasingly frustrated with this guy the more I watched this - especially when he would treat the other animals like pets, change the water flow after the rains, and basically give the middle finger to the park officials when they told him he had to move after so many days to you know... avoid potentially getting attacked/eaten."
"What was really interesting was how this guy's friends/family thought he was doing so much good, and everyone else who was interviewed said he was doing the opposite."
This is why I only sleep in at home and in real buildings.
"The Act of Killing is pretty wild."
"The Look of Silence. Family of the victims watching The Act of Killing and decide to meet the killers."
"I was a therapist for survivors of war trauma for years. This movie was fascinating and horrifying. I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about the torturers, just the tortured. But most humans are not equipped for hurting others. This knowledge is reassuring and mortifying."
"There isn’t a lot of free will to be exercised in a war. War is a meat grinder, it’s just disgusting every time. There is no justification good enough, no glory, there’s just the propaganda machine of war. We’re not meant to kill each other. How dare we ask others to kill for us, then bring home the survivors, call them heroes, but shame and silence them when they tell us how they suffered following the orders they were given."
Return to Sender
"Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father is a devastatingly disquieting documentary."
"It's just so disturbing because the woman was so obviously unhinged, and she was continually allowed access to the child."
"Yep and as soon as I said this guy has a great friend, I hope his son appreciates what his friend is doing for him. I wonder where his son is now, then you get the bombshell, and I was pure seething rage at that moment."
No one knew...
"There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane."
"While I'm fairly certain that her husband and sister-in-law are mostly pushing the she had a medical issue, no one could have seen this coming narrative to reduce liability in the subsequent lawsuits, my major takeaway from this doc was just how many people have no idea that their loved one is an alcoholic."
"I'm an alcoholic, and for the majority of my active addiction, no one knew. I drank mugs of red wine first thing in the morning from the 4L box I kept by my bed. I did shots of whiskey before major presentations to keep myself loose. I can tell you with 100% certainty that if you met me during that decade, there was no way I was sober. I worked in finance and did client meetings/presentations eight hours a day, five days a week."
"And I was so incredibly drunk the whole time. No one knew, and I know this because when I got sober two years ago, multiple people who had spent significant amounts of time with me during my drunk years were shocked that I thought I had a problem - 'You only drink on weekends!' No, you only saw me drink on weekends."
"Alcoholics don't all wander the earth falling over, slurring, and pissing their pants. For some of us, we just get what we need to survive the day and make sure nothing can stop that from happening. Like letting pesky family members who could cut us off in on the secret."
"ETA: If you need support in figuring out your relationship with alcohol, r/stopdrinking is a great place to start asking questions."
"Tickled was pretty f**ked up."
"Cannot believe I had to scroll this far down to see this. This documentary is insane. It has such a simple premise, then it gets weird, then it gets weirder, then it gets downright scary, and by the end, you are made painfully aware of how easy it is to manipulate other people’s lives and their public perception if you have enough money."
Hell on Earth
"'Killing Fields,' the movie documenting the slaughter of millions of Cambodians at the hands of Pol Pot's people. Skulls, pelvises, and spines lying everywhere in the blood-filled ditches. The purest form of Hell on Earth."
"Late to the party here, but if you can find a copy of A Cambodian Odyssey by Dr. Haing Ngor, grab it with both hands and don’t let go."
"Dr. Ngor played Dan Prith in the movie, but he himself has the most amazing and tragic story of surviving the Khmer Rouge. Made it to America, won an Oscar… and was gunned down in LA. I treasure my copy of the book."
"The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Follows the White family who just completely neglects their kids, the parents, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and attempted murder. It’s a sad look at the daily life of severely impoverished folks in stereotypical Appalachia."
SHOOKOh No Wow GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy
"Evil genius, is a true crime story of a pizza man who robs a bank with a bomb around his neck. He is a victim of some very disturbed people."
"I was shook by this one. I love documentaries and am rarely really affected by them, but this one did it. Just knowing that you are going to die and no one can help you. And we see it unfold in front of us… chilling."
Documentaries are too much.
I need fiction.
People Explain Which Books They Read In School That They'd Never Let Their Kids Read Today
CW: graphic depictions of novels.
When I was in eighth-grade honors English, our first book of the year was Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Unlike with other books, our eyes didn't glaze over as we read. In fact, we were enthralled.
We were very invested in the characters, we all cried at the end, and even though the book didn't have a happy ending, we bonded through the sadness and were still happy we were able to read the book.
My mom, who passed on her love of reading to me, always read the books we were assigned for school. She hated this one.
While she could appreciate the story and understood it was a product of its time, she thought the story, especially the end, maybe a bit inappropriate for students my age. She was not the type to make a stink about things, but she let me know her feelings.
My mom's opinion was not all that unique. There are lots of parents who weren't always fans of what their kids had to read for school.
Sometimes it's because they would've liked their child to be a little older when they read a particular book. This was my mom's complaint about Of Mice and Men. Other people don't think particular books are appropriate for school at all.
Those people took to Reddit to share what books they read in school that they wouldn't want their kids to read in school today...at least, not until they are a little older.
It all started when Redditor masterbuildera asked:
"What book did you read in school that you would never want your child to read?"
"My 5th grade teacher read the Stephen King short story Survival Type to the class. For those who haven’t read: the narrator / mc is a drug smuggler who crash lands his plane on a deserted island. He ends up doing all the heroin he recovered from the crash and cannibalizes himself. We didn’t know at the time our teacher had early onset dementia..."
"Holy sh*t! I was in my mid 30s when I heard that story(was listening to the audio book) and was cooking dinner. Had to save all of the food for later, no way I could eat after listening to that. I can't believe a teacher read that."
"“Microsoft Publisher 98 for Dummies”"
"Seems kinda pointless at this stage."
"imagine dragging your tik tok watching kid trough that today"
""A Day No Pigs Would Die" was pretty rough in 6th grade. Basically Charlotte's web with HAUNTINGLY graphic depictions of animal husbandry and slaughter. I don't remember getting a lot of value out of it at 11 years old, just pig-blood soaked nightmares lol"
"I recall being in 6th grade and a fellow student writing a book report on an erotic novel she had read about an extremely overweight man collapsing on a sex worker while mid intercourse and she rips off his jaw and uses it to sever off one of his limbs and get out from under him."
"I remember being 13 years old and thinking “this is pretty f*cked up for a 13 year old.”"
"Holy crap. Yes, that’s a bit much. In that vein, Flowers in the Attic and the rest of the series."
"Maybe this isn’t the question, but I read A Child Called ‘It’ as an elementary aged child. I bought it at the school’s Scholastic Book Fair, and was maybe 9 years old. Why on earth they thought that was an appropriate book for small children to be purchasing and reading, I will never know. The 90’s were a trip."
WAY Too Early
"I was in a gifted class and we read 1984...in the fourth grade. Great piece of literature, but maybe a titch intense for nine-year-olds, y'know?"
Father Knows Best
"The Kite Runner....my dad saw me pick that up at a book store when I was in the 7th grade and he said no, I wasn't allowed to read that till I got older. Me being the rebellious little sh*t I was convinced my friend to buy it and we took turns reading it. Yeah that book is not for kids....I learnt some things that day :("
"I read The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns in high school, they were trauma in paperback form."
"A thousand splendid suns BROKE my heart. Beautiful book, but traumatic."
"Same. Read it in college undergrad actually and was destroyed and cannot imagine how my emotional maturity would have been affected had it come out a few years earlier. Still one of my favorite books and authors of all time. Haunts me to this day."
"I know it’s weak, but the ending to Of Mice and Men really messed up my 13 year old brain."
"My English class read it together (taking it in turns to read aloud) when I was 16 and it was a lovely experience - we hated it at first, and then by the end we were invested, and a bunch of people cried - including the cool girls who usually sat at the back giggling. My friends and I read ahead and knew the ending. We didn't spoil, but we were smug about knowing what was coming!"
"Probably a bit heavy for a 13yo though."
"We read the stage version at my high school, not as homework but as a sort of "table read" where we went around the classroom with everyone taking a turn to read a line/lines."
"I don't think I'd ever seen the entire class so invested in something. Not just kids approaching my own level of nerdiness, but everyone - even the troublemakers and barely literate kids. It kinda blew my friggin' mind. And then, when we finished the story (over the course of a few classes, I think), we all suffered together through the ending. Trauma bonding, yaaaay!"
"Honestly, that book was probably the only worthwhile book in our curriculum, as far as I can remember."
Easy As 1, 2, 3
"A lesson book on calculus now that's hell"
"There are 3 kinds of people in this world:"
"Those that understand math, and those that don't."
"Was given The Things They Carried in HS and had nightmares for weeks because I had a brother overseas in combat at the time. Part of me never wants my kids to read it because of how much it negatively effected me, which I know isn't a good reason. I do think it is a worthwhile book but it will always, always make me uncomfortable."
The Wrong Message
"Hear me out, this is a weird take:"
"Cyrano de Bergerac"
"Not because it isn't a good story, it is. But because I think high school boys get the wrong message from it and it fuels this incel, neckbeard fantasy of "I am truly special, and I will pursue this woman until she realizes how special I am. She only likes that other guy because he's cute, it definitely isn't that I'm an a**hole." I don't think that's healthy for them, I think a lot of them don't get that it's satire because it's in middle english."
"I'm not saying they can't read it, but it shouldn't be required as part of the curriculum either (it was for me at least)."
"I’d go nose to nose with you about this one. (Not really, you’re right and make good points.)"
Not A Kid's Book
"I still wish I hadn’t read Where the Red Fern Grows though…cause I haven’t stopped crying and it’s been 25 years."
"I was assigned this as a first grader. Apparently the teacher hadn't finished the book to know how truly traumatic the last chapter is. Plus the boy that bleeds out (that blood bubble on his lips always stuck with me). I reread it recently and cried so f*cking hard"
"I remember in I think my freshman year (hs), one of my friends who isn't a reader wanted a book suggestion when we had to pick one from the library. One of the first I looked at was Where the Red Fern Grows, I recalled it being good and gave it to him. Teacher refused it because it "was a kid's book.""
"I mean yeah, but f*ck you, no."
Oof! Yeah, that one was a hard one to get through.