Ohhhh boy, here we go. Time to delve into repressed trauma from our childhoods. How badly did you folks mess you up? Were they over-protective baby boomers? Helicoptering Gen-Xers? Tiger Moms? Let's all share our collective repressed memories.
megadaydreamer asked: How have your parents unintentionally f*cked you up?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Lying can get you far.
Mom was very controlling.
She meant well but her overbearing nature only made me a better liar than a productive member of society.
Edit: seems this is not uncommon. I can't speak for you all but I know my mom loves me, she's just flawed like the rest of us.
Legit this. I can't say exactly when I simply stopped telling her the truth when going out with friends, GFs, etc., but my life became a lot simpler because of it.
Only problem is now I am a borderline pathological liar.
I know right! I dont know the difference anymore between what she will allow and what she won't so I lie to everything and get away with it.
Man I'm 22. There is no end to it.. I can't stop.. It doesn't even matter. I need like no permissions but still. Lies lies lies.
Oh, these moms.
She Tiger Mom-ed the shit out of me, specifically when it came to classical music. She was a violin teacher and had me play piano, but that didn't stop her from getting VERY INVOLVED.
What was the worst incident? When she got so mad at how I was practicing, she threw the piano bench out the door? When she scribbled all over my music in a rage and had to buy a new book so my teacher wouldn't see she'd lost her shit? When she was screaming at me in the car after a lesson and just laid into the horn while driving down a busy street? When she drove me, crying, to my friend's house for a scheduled play date and made me ring the doorbell and explain to my friend I couldn't stay because I hadn't practiced enough?
It was a 10+ year saga of insane blow-ups and tears that only stopped when I left for college and quit. But I'm the lucky one. I was the fighter. My sister was the people-pleaser. Once my mom gave up on me, she focused the full brunt of her attention on her. Now my sister's got an undergrad degree in music and a whole lotta angst about whether she even likes the goddamn viola or has just been forced into her entire life.
I loathe Tiger Mom culture. r/AsianParentStories used to give me so much anxiety.
Lack of positive attention.
My attachment style. They only paid attention to me when I acted out because they were so busy with my older sister and her accomplishments.
Can relate, just from the flip side. I was the older sister with all the accomplishments, straight A kid. They paid more attention to my little sister because she was the one that needed more work and focus on their part. She got new toys in exchange for A's and prizes for chores, one on one time for homework, and more cool sports to try because nothing ever stuck. I guess they decided I didn't need the extra incentive since I'd "do all the right things anyway".
It sucks. Parenting is hard. No one really knows what they're doing and what the effects are until it's too late.
"If only you were nicer they wouldn't bully you"
"Your sister can make friends so you can too"
"Why do you have these weird hobbies, no wonder you have no friends"
"What is it, are you too lazy or too shy to make friends?"
Got diagnosed with autism eventually, but that was after 40 years of beating myself senseless over my inability to fit in.
I'm not autistic but I've had every single one of those said to me by my mom. One time I confided in her that I was upset about having no friends and she said, "Well whose fault is that?" in a rather snippy tone.
Probably yours, mom, probably yours.
Forced isolation and competition.
Always telling me that the neighborhood kids were bad and I should never play with them. Leading me to become very introverted and shy. Feeling super awkward walking passed all the kids, who were playing. Then when I was 15ish parents started asking me why I have no friends!! Making me feel like I had a problem and was different. Due to lack of interaction with kids my age I now avoid conflict, and have week social skills. It took me years of practice to be comfortable with people. Ended up having very good friends in highschool and university. But even after all these years still feel awkward meeting and befriending new people.
Oh I also forgot constantly comparing me to other kids. Telling me how they were doing better at school, had more friends, were so social, etc. It really fucked up my self confidence. I remember when I got into the best uni in my country was the first time my dad said he is proud of me (school and grades wise). Before that it was always "look how good Jack's grades are or how smart Joe is". SMH
Being taught too much empathy?
This isn't the worst thing in the world, but my parents strongly instilled in me the need to care about other people's feelings and kindness. To the point of being overly kind and accommodating.
It led to me apologizing too much, bending over backwards for people who didn't deserve it and letting people take advantage of me. I am proud of being a person that cares for others, but it's taken a while for me to learn how to set boundaries and maintain them in friendships and relationships. I'm working on it.
Do you ever just get the urge to help people even when you know you shouldn't or just don't have the means? How do you manage boundaries? My bf has similar attributes and helping people is almost a type of escape for him.
Wow you hit a nerve with the "helping people is almost an escape" thing! I can relate to that. I definitely feel the urge to help people even when I know I shouldn't.
I think part of it comes from not liking myself too much, and helping someone makes me feel less worthless. I find it very hard to manage boundaries, especially with people that I care deeply about. It's one of those things where I kind of have to work on it from the inside out. If I don't value myself and my worth as a person, it's going to be really hard to maintain boundaries in difficult situations. I won't be able to start enforcing them until I am better able to love and respect myself.
They never gave me a realistic view of how finances work.
Good lord, I'm in my 30s and still dealing with this. Nobody ever taught me how to money.
Luckily I've picked up a few things and now have more saved and invested than I ever have in my life prior to this point.
Not having your emotions respected.
By never taking any problems I had seriously, getting angry at me when I was having a bad mental health day, and denying that I had depression ("you're just doing this for attention," "you have no reason to be depressed" etc even though I was clinically diagnosed). It has led me to never speak about my problems to the point where I have breakdowns in my bedroom and then pretend I'm fine, believing I'm a burden and that no one, not even my friends, want to deal with me.
Dude my mom does this sh*t all the time it was like as soon as I hit age 10 I was no longer allowed to show any feeling except neutral and happy, now I can't handle my anger or sadness in a healthy way, something as minor as losing my charger sent me into a sobbing screaming mess.
I really hope things get better for you.
Lack of independence.
My mom, by helicoptering me between all of middle school AND high school. As a result I was never able to develop good study habits because I never got the feeling that I was doing it for me. I felt like I was doing it for her.
My mom helicoptered so hard that she became a substitute teacher and basically "followed" me from Kindergarten through Senior year of high school. (Yes she changed schools with me too).
Now this is some damage.
By constantly criticizing me. As an adult I sit in meetings at work and wait for someone to tell me how stupid/wrong/inappropriate something I said or did was. It's awesome.
Exact same thing with me. no matter what I do I never feel like I'm going to be good enough.
Yup... miserable. Decided not to ever have kids for fear I'd somehow f*ck them up too.
Who are we? Children of the baby boomers.
What will we never ever be? Good enough. At anything. Ever.
Well now how is this supposed to work?
They demand I pay for things (which is fine, in itself, really) except I wasn't really allowed to have a job until right before I left for college. Basically any gift money I got from relatives they somehow took?
Now it's even worse, as I'm unemployed due to some serious health issues. Whenever I hear, "you need to pay for that" all I can think is... with what income?
(Disclaimer: they were never short on cash. This was purely an "assert control" thing).
No. it's not fine. it's called financial abuse-
To be clear, what made it abusive was not the request to pay for things, it was that coupled with controlling the ability to actually do so. Financial abuse is using finances to exert undue control over the victim.
For example, my parents required that I pay for the gas I used and a small amount toward the car payment and insurance for our shared car. This allowed me to work, taught me to plan for the costs of getting to work, etc. It also cut the other way -- when I saved up enough for my own car, they paid me when they needed to use it. That's clearly not financial abuse.
If, however, they'd required that I pay with money I don't have, or used the excuse to steal financial gifts given to me, that would have been abusive.
Nope, not damaging at all.
One had an affair, told me and told me not to tell the other. The other knew and did things like bugged the house phones and had me try to follow them around. Being oldest kid sucked. Completely stuck in the middle. Eventually escaped to the sanity of the infantry.
My dad told me too about cheating on my mom and he said he did it recently after they got married, what made it worse he told me they only married cuz she was pregnant with me. So looks like I was the reason why they married, and because of that i have to watch how they dont get along at all. It just really hurts to watch but o well i've tried to help them but they refused, so it's not really my problem anymore.
At least she doesn't waste your time?
When I was a kid, maybe 5 or 6, I was riding in the car with my mom. I was playing with a transformer toy, and telling her about it. At some point, she stopped me and said something to the effect of, "son, do I talk to you about makeup or clothes or anything I'm interested in?" I answered no. And she said "then I don't want to hear about transformers/whatever you're playing with." In that moment, she just wanted me to shut up bc she didn't care, but over my life I've realized it destroyed my ability to talk about things I care about with people unless it's someone I'm very close to, so I come off as very boring until people get to know me.
Edit: Wow, thanks for all the replies and upvotes! I would just like to say, I don't hate my mom or anything, she's a good person for the most part, she just doesn't pretend to care about things.
The feeling of constantly being watched...
Semi-helicoptering me for far too long. They subtlety controlled my life to the point I wasn't able to do a lot of things that were important to me, but it wasn't enough that I felt controlled and wanted to just snap and rebel against them. It took me a LOOOONG time to start making decisions without prioritizing their approval above doing what I ACTUALLY wanted to do.
So I'm a little behind in a lot things that are important to me, because I never felt truly supported and free to develop myself the way I wanted to.
Being made to feel like what you say doesn't matter.
By constantly Interrupting me when I'd try to say something, or talking over me, or by very obviously not paying attention/listening/caring about what I'd say, I've grown up to be a very quiet person who very rarely makes any effort to say anything to anyone.
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There are few things more satisfying than a crisp $20 bill. Well, maybe a crisp $100 bill.
But twenty big ones can get you pretty far nonetheless.
Whether it's tucked firmly in a birthday card, passing from hand to hand after a knee-jerk sports bet, or going toward a useful tool, the old twenty dollar bill has been used for countless purposes.
Breaking Even<p>"I got a jacket and a pair of jeans at goodwill for about $20. My first time wearing the jacket I found a tiny zipper inside a pocket."</p><p>"There was a secret inner pocket with a twenty in it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdv70q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheBrontosaurus</a></p>
Keeps On Giving<p>"23 Years ago I was in the US for some work and was not prepared for the cold of Chicago. Went to wal-mart and bought myself a cheap, warm jacket."</p><p>"I'm wearing that jacket right now - still looks fine, still keeps me warm."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe41xv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TastyEnd</a></p>
As Good As They Come<p>"Wool pinstripe double breasted suit from Goodwill, fit perfectly and was brand new. Ended up wearing it to get married the next year." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdw6mx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">verminiusrex</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"God I love Goodwill!!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe5aee?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Neverthelilacqueen</a></p>
The Socks She Needed<p>"I work at a thrift shop. A homeless lady came in and asked us where the socks were. We only sell new socks, so I directed her towards the new socks and she was... shocked and disappointed by the price tag, surely."<br></p><p>"I gave her a moment as she looked, and she moved to some kids' socks and picked them up, and I... just couldn't let that happen. I told her that I would help her, and told her to get herself some socks and a jacket."</p><p>"She kind of just... held out the children's socks, so I took them, put them back, and grabbed the extra fluffy socks that were hanging."</p><p>"She grabs a jacket and some pants, and I pay for it. My coworker looks the other way since we're not supposed to purchase anything while on the clock. The lady is in tears as she walks out."</p><p>"I notice that she's still outside a minute later putting them on, and ask her if they fit her or if she needed something else; and she told me they were perfect and proceeded to cry. I cried in return."</p><p>"It was a good day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpen3w1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Snowodin</a></p>
Not Forgotten<p>"A guy came into my work when I managed a mom and pop Pizza Place. He said he was stranded with no phone, and no money, but that the people at the Verizon store next door to us said they could get him a cheap phone with some minutes on it for 20 bucks."</p><p>"He offered to do dishes for a few hours to make some money so he could get this phone. I told him not to worry about it and gave him a 20 from my wallet. He thanked me, asked me for my name, and then he left and I never saw him again."</p><p>"Skip forward about 5 months, and when I get into work the owner was there and said she had gotten a letter addressed to me. 'Weird,' I thought."</p><p>"But when I opened it there was a 50 dollar bill and a short note from the guy I gave 20 dollars to thanking me for my kindness and for not turning him away."</p><p>"Turns out he was in a bad way (addicted to hard drugs and homeless) and really was stranded there. He was trying to get a phone so he could contact his parents (who lived in another state) for help."</p><p>"From what it sounded like, he seemed to really turn his life around. He was clean and working a stable job while still living with his parents."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpem2xc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mixmaster-McGuire</a></p>
The Best Finale<p>"It was the day before payday. My wife came to see me at work. My break was in an hour, so I asked for her to wait a bit, so we could enjoy it together. She did."</p><p>"I bought her some lunch, because it was what I could afford. I bought her a ham and cheese sub sandwich and two iced teas. These were her favorite. I bought gas with the rest of the twenty so she could get home. She dropped me back off at work."</p><p>"That night, she passed away. It brings me comfort to know that I bought her favorite sandwich and drink for her that afternoon. It was likely the last thing she ate, since it was near dinner. I'll never forget it. Best $20 I ever spent, because it was for her."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe9c6d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LollipopDreamscape</a></p>
Leaning Into the Nerdery<p>"It was my ninth or tenth birthday. My grandparents gave me $20. The first $20 bill I ever held in my hand! I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it."</p><p>"A week later, we went into the city and Toys R Us. I went straight to the Transformers aisle. And there he was. My favourite Transformer. The one I always wanted...Soundwave."</p><p>"He's the one who turned into a Walkman and he could eject cassettes that turned into robot animals. The price tag said $19.99. It was meant to be."</p><p>"I took Soundwave to the clerk and gave her my $20 bill. "And here's your change!" she said, as she gave me a single penny."</p><p>"Ah, Soundwave. The best friend a lonely little nerd could have."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdzzxe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">originalchaosinabox</a></p>
Different Time<p>"I went to a Rush concert in 1982. The ticket was $9.50 and the t-shirt was $10." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdyr0k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PaulsRedditUsername</a></p>
Motivational Spending<p>"My then six year old niece had a loose tooth she loved to show off and had resisted pulling out for two weeks. We were all at my parents and I was getting ready to leave, I pulled out a $20 and said 'I'll give you this right now if you pull out your tooth.' "</p><p>"She was already crying because her little sister had did something so when she ran into the bathroom none of us had no idea in what she was about to do."</p><p>"So she comes out crying still, but a little bit of blood I'm her mouth because of course, she pulled out her tooth. But the now removed tooth fell down the drain to the sink and she was crying because she lost her proof!"</p><p>"After she calmed down she was happy as a clam with a brand new $20 and everyone was quite proud of her. My sister told me she spent it on candy and shared with her little sister."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdxi4k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">themasimumdorkus</a></p>
For the Story<p>"It was actually to a scammer in Rome. There was this guy right outside of Colosseum who started tying strings around my wrist and told me to make a wish. I knew it was going to cost but I thought what the hell, last day in Rome so might as well go with it. </p><p>"My wish was to find love."</p><p>"I spent rest of the day getting lost in the city and stumbled across two weddings and one baptism ceremony. So I did find love, just not for myself."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe7b2w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FatalFinn</a></p>
I realize that school safety has been severely compromised and has been under dire scrutiny over the past decade and of course, it should be. And when I was a student, my safety was one of my greatest priorities but, some implemented rules under the guise of "safety" were and are... just plain ludicrous. Like who thinks up some of these ideas?Redditor u/Animeking1108 wanted to discuss how the education system has ideas that sometimes are just more a pain in the butt than a daily enhancement... What was the dumbest rule your school enforced?
Don't Peek<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDc4OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNDE0Mzc2OH0.Y1Lzy1MTqxyVqOCe9xjeHTRZsKnbyVjYzdb4-Heldyo/img.gif?width=980" id="78b19" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e14a90be026b734830e7661f776ba4a8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="475" data-height="475" />schitts creek wtf GIF by CBCGiphy<p>Took all the doors off the men's room bathroom stalls because of vandalism for 2 months.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphrfce?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Endless_Vanity</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Endless_Vanity/" target="_blank"></a></p>
Scanned<p>School added thumb print scanners at gates of school which counted as registration - needless to say I would just walk to school scan my thumb and walk back home with them none the wiser. Was a great few months until they noticed. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpidnou?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">richpianofan5</a></p>
Age of Empires...<p>Conservative Christian College. A group of us played Age of Empires one weekend. They didn't like it and called a meeting. Everyone involved got misdemeanors on their records. There was nothing in the handbook about it being against the rules. The only person that didn't get any punishment was the son of the president even though he was just as involved as the rest of us. <span></span></p>
"Genius"<p>In my freshman year of high school we had a terrible vandalism problem, the bathrooms would be broken in various ways almost constantly. In a stroke of pure genius, the staff decided that any bathroom that was vandalized would be closed for the week on first offense, the quarter for second, and permanently on the third offense.</p><p>They took back the rule after closing every bathroom on day one. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi77co?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Samus388</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Samus388/" target="_blank"></a></p>
Is this Footloose?<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDc5Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzg0MjU2M30.PeBUt-YWZeeRStaD_RZlGPQzo29E9t733yqZbIiJlYs/img.gif?width=980" id="3a5bd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="102730e3b1b90ba9cb393561c702c9af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="500" />kevin bacon dancing GIF by STARZGiphy<p>Prom was a mandatory lockdown for the night in order to avoid students going to parties after prom.</p><p>Prom was held at various house parties across town instead. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi37x7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Coffee-spree</a></p>
HOLDEN FOREVER!!!<p>My high school mascot was Daniel Boone holding a musket. A kid wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt to school and was told he had to change shirts because of the pistols on the shirt. He pointed out the hypocrisy of the school mascot and they changed EVERYTHING. The mascot was switched to holding a flag pole instead. <span></span></p>
No Dots<p>You couldn't wear ANY kind of head items that were "gang colours" (red or blue) - this No included hair bands, scrunchies, beads in your hair, ribbons - ANYTHING. I got in trouble for wearing a blue hair band with white polka dots. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphzpyf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Pleasant-Flamingo344</a></p>
Clothes Check<p>We had to wear belts. Someone snitched that people weren't wearing belts under their sweaters, and they actually checked and a bunch of people got detentions. Stupid. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphz3y6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ooo-ooo-oooyea</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphz3y6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>We had belt raids at my school where the dean would burst into classes, completely interrupting any education, to check that everyone was wearing a belt. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpia8pp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GuinnessMicrodose</a></p>
Chase the Flat<p>We weren't allowed to play tag football at lunch, only frisbee. When I asked the principal what the difference was, he responded with a sarcastic tone, "A football is round and a frisbee is a flat disk."</p><p>He left the school later that year, went to another school, and a few years later was brought up on charges for failing to report the abuse of a student by a teacher. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi6lh3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">uninc4life2010</a></p>
Poke-Thief<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDgwMy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODg5MzY2Nn0.5LMPk1suou6U2SvAURKP-sHEuK7Izpkbxm0PWqvx95E/img.gif?width=980" id="b6e9f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="92383d30e34aa92fd74cf6c1374ec294" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />hotline bling pokemon GIFGiphy<p>Pokemon cards got banned in middle school because someone stole the vice principal's kid's cards. Yep. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpiapym?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Skadoosh_it</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Skadoosh_it/" target="_blank"></a></p>
In the Face...<p>If you were involved in a fight, you got suspended. While it sounds reasonable, context didn't matter.</p><p>I got suspended once not for throwing a single punch, kick, whatever. I got suspended because someone knocked the books out of my hand and when I reached down to grab them they punched me in the face.</p><p>I got suspended for walking down the hallway and unprovoked getting punched in the face.</p><p>Forget Brandon Valley Middle School. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpicbyx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CLG_MianBao</a></p>
One of the golden rules of life? Doctors are merely human. They don't know everything and they make mistakes. That is why you always want to get another opinion. Things are constantly missed. That doesn't mean docs don't know what they're doing, they just aren't infallible. So make sure to ask questions, lots of them.Redditor u/Gorgon_the_Dragon wanted to hear from doctors about why it is imperative we always get second and maybe third opinions by asking... Doctors of Reddit, what was the worse thing you've seen for a patient that another Doctor overlooked?
Grandma Wins<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDcxOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0OTQxNTgzOX0.n9IaFGgHwnULMlI2kg7RUftxDg6lyWvdM9CnhvptCRY/img.gif?width=980" id="a0857" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9762f97a23c27ccf6b75974caa854361" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Old Lady Wine GIF by MattielGiphy<p>Not a doctor, but my grandmother saved my father's eyesight because she didn't listen to their doctor. </p>
The Mummy Appendage<p>When I was a resident, an 80yo female was admitted from the nursing home for confusion. Workup showed some mild UTI and we were giving her antibiotics. The nurse mentioned that her toe looked dark and asked me to look at it. The toe wasn't just dark, it was mummified. It looked like dry beef jerky. I touched it and pieces flaked off. So the patient from a nursing home, had a mummified toe, probably for months, that no one knew about. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpg00qn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Dr2ray</a></p>
The CT Save<p>Here's my story:</p><p>A guy came in to our ICU and was very septic but still talking. He had visited his primary care MD with complaints of a sore throat for a couple of days. Dismissed without any intervention since he didn't appear to have strep throat or the flu. At this point he was having pretty severe abdominal discomfort, so we sent him for a CT scan. As the scan was finishing, he coded and had to be intubated, multi-organ failure, etc. </p>
Patches<p>When I was an ER nurse we got an elderly lady in for altered mental status from a nursing home, when we undressed her to put her in a gown and hook her up to the monitor, I noticed no less than 5 fentanyl patches on her, guess I discovered the cause of the AMS. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpg1lml?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChewbaccaSlim426</a></p>
Use your Words<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDcyMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDA1NjI0MH0.WtyCdxL1vRZwD2-jpKZXMOEakwhiBaJIkp1YPnOzlvo/img.gif?width=980" id="e45ca" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f5b98e6a4605a587dbd97579468a51d8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="367" />Communication GIF by memecandyGiphy<p>Neurologist sent patient to our ED without informing her that imaging showed a glioblastoma assuring her impending death. He didn't overlook the disease, he overlooked the communication. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpfl5t5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AzureSkye27</a></p>
Mad Cow Realty<p>During my residency we had this lady in her 60s who was getting progressively more forgetful, just overall declining and getting less and less able to take care of herself. She had been seeing her pcp who diagnosed her with dementia. And she saw a neurologist who agreed. She was not really able to provide an accurate history. <span></span></p>
After Birth...<p>I used to work in maternal-fetal medicine, and every single week, we would have women referred to us "because the doctor couldn't see something clearly with the baby and wanted to double check." Nope, they just didn't want to have to be the ones to tell you that your baby had a complex cardiac defect or multiple anomalies indicative of a genetic syndrome or any other of a large number of horrible things that can happen during fetal development. Still pisses me off when I think about how many women waited weeks for more information because their doctors were cowards who couldn't tell them, "There's something seriously wrong here." <span></span></p>
bad doctors<p>I'm not a doctor, but a RN. This happened to me, but isn't nearly as bad as most of the stories on here.</p><p>When I was in college, I got to where I couldn't swallow. It started with difficulty swallowing, progressed to me having to swallow bites of food multiple times/regurgitating it, and then got to where all I could swallow was broths and mashed potatoes with no chunks. I went to the doctor multiple times, and was told every time it was acid reflux and part of my anxiety disorder. <span></span></p>
The Valve...<p>He put the pacemaker lead in the subclavian artery (and across the aortic valve into the left ventricle). The proper approach is: subclavian vein to right ventricle). And then he didn't notice it for over a year. I saw the patient (a 25 yo woman who didn't need the pacemaker in the first place) when she was in congestive heart failure. <span></span><br></p>
Bitten<p>Rattlesnake bite. On a 2 year old. Patient and dad out in the fields near a small town that is several hours away from the nearest big city, where I work.</p>
When we think about learning history, our first thought is usually sitting in our high school history class (or AP World History class if you're a nerd like me) being bored out of our minds. Unless again, you're a huge freaking nerd like me. But I think we all have the memory of the moment where we realized learning about history was kinda cool. And they usually start from one weird fact.
Here are a few examples of turning points in learning about history, straight from the keyboards of the people at AskReddit.