How necessary is it?
Some people need it.
Some are good with a once-and-a-blue-moon situation.
No matter your personal thoughts, when you're in a relationship it's a two-way street convo.
You have to be on the same page about intimacy or else it all blows up.
So...
Let's talk about sex baby.
Redditor Abysmal_2003 wanted to discuss sex and all the drama and fun it brings.
"How important is sex to you In a relationship?"
I love sex. And from experience I know it's important.
Toilet Thoughts
I Understand 2 Chainz GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy"A wise man once told me 'Sex in a relationship is like a bathroom in a house. It's not why you're there, but if it disappears it can be an issue.'"
Fubai97b
Desire
"Sigh... Prostate cancer survivor here. Since I had my prostate removed to stave off cancer, I have no sexual desire (this is rare; many men have ED problems, but an unlucky few like me have no sexual desire at all). My wife has been very supportive (we are both in late 60's early 70's) and we still have plenty of cuddles and our memories to fall back on."
amerkanische_Frosch
Checkmate
"I think it's something for which you need checkpoints every so often. While at the beginning you may have the same drive things can change on a physical level (hormones, etc) that may pull you one way or another. Don't assume that just because you had the talk years ago and you feel the same way that it's the same on the other side as well."
FellcallerOmega
"bringing it up"
"Doesn't have to be a centerpiece but I should never have to beg for it."
its_Is
"This to be honest. Always felt like I was the one 'bringing it up' so to say. Pretty big dealbreaker. And before someone saying stuff about how I could do something different/I did something wrong: Shut up. You have no clue about any context."
KanadeKanashi
Not Everything
making love passionate kiss GIFGiphy"Sex isn't a super important part of a relationship until one of you isn't getting the sex you want to be getting. Then it can become very important."
ethnicbonsai
Clearly everyone is obsessed with sex. Big shock.
Same Page
Season One Love GIF by This Is UsGiphy"If it’s not important to you, you better make sure your partner feels the same or you are going to have a bad time."
lone_rutabaga
Human Intimacy
"I really don’t care at all. I used to think I wanted sex, but then I realized I just incredibly starved of human intimacy. Yes sex is an intimate thing but I’ll be just as happy curled up under a blanket with someone."
YUNGN0
"Agreed. Am dating someone who can't have sex right now for medical reasons... instead we just cuddled on the bed for a little bit. It was just as magical, if not more so."
Glamdring804
earth-shattering...
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
be-all-end-all...
"Pretty important. I love sex. It makes me feel closer to my partner. I love feeling desirable, vulnerable, loved, trusted, and just good. That being said, if my sexual partners decided they didn't want sex anymore for whatever reason, than our relationships wouldn't change for me. I'd miss the sex, and coping might be difficult initially. But as important as sex is, it's not the be-all-end-all when it comes to loving someone, and I'd still be grateful to have them in my life."
mother**queer
Desired
tired madonna GIFGiphy"For me the sex itself isn’t what’s important so much as the feeling of being desired. We don’t have to have sex often as long as I know I’m the only one you’re looking at in that way."
ImAshroom-69
Together
"Very important, it brings us so much closer."
Inside-Currency9002
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
80/20
"Crucial. My mom used to say when the sex is good it makes up 20% of a relationship, when the sex is bad it becomes 80% of the relationship."
WhiteTigressss
"Old Boomer Dude Here: She was right on point. My sex drive departed in my fifties and I don’t miss it, but my poor wife certainly does. The interesting thing is apart from that, I’m a pretty great husband. But the lack of intimacy is killing the marriage."
bdbdbokbuck
beyond a certain point...
"I'd put it as a requirement, but it's more like 'we need a certain amount of compatibility sexually for this relationship to work' rather than it being a primary determinant of how much I value the relationship. Like, beyond a certain point, if sexual compatibility is good enough, it doesn't matter if it's the best I've ever had or if we have it all the time. Other things are much more important. Nonetheless, if we couldn't even make each other happy sexually, there's no way I'd stay in that relationship."
d**gsucker
Desire
passion seduction GIFGiphy"I just want to be desired."
darlingmakinzie
"This. The actual act of sex is cool, but I want the desire. I want to be lusted after the same way I would lust at my partner."
xxDoublezeroxx
Bad Cuts
"For me it’s important because it makes me feel wanted. But I only want it if she wants it. Nothing worse than having it feel like it’s a chore or obligation for her. Once a month isn’t cutting it but I’ve tried everything to make things in her life easier that maybe she’d be interested. My self esteem is now at a zero and all I want is to feel wanted or desired."
TheHeed97015
Chores
"Very... sex to me isn't just getting my load off but it'd a actual 'connection' to me on a emotional level... being able to communicate with each other and have a good sex life because of it is just as important to me as something as simple like being able to share chores or being able to accept that you might disagree on things and that being more then okay."
6F1I
Partners
black and white love GIFGiphy"Not at all important. To me the emotional intimacy matters. For me a relationship is a safe space where we can support each other and be there for each other. Sex doesn't have to be a part of that. Of course, as long as both partners think that way, otherwise there's gonna be a problem."
Name-Forsaken
speaking from experience...
"There are a lot of great responses in this thread. Great question, but also I think the wrong focus. The right one is 'how important is sex in the relationship you have?' If the answer to the question you asked is more or less the same from both parties, then all is good."
"If this is a source of disconnect then it can be a major issue. Sex and intimacy are foundational to a true relationship, but whether or not it is a load bearing support depends on both partners not just you. (speaking from experience)."
waremi
Hold Me
"It wouldn’t really affect me to not have it. Cuddles on the other hand... I can’t imagine a relationship without them. They recharge me and fill me with love."
machinedog
Sex. Love it. Hate it. We need it or need to communicate our needs. At least now and again.
The ones that have come to fruition but caused an uproar were mentioned when Redditor Future-Game asked:
"What is the most controversial TV shows of all time?"
Shows pushing the envelope were so risqué. Some aged well over time. Others didn't.
Taboo Topics
"I don't know about all time but the time it aired here in Canada, the original Degrassi High series. They covered so many topics that weren't really covered on mainstream shows back then. Even still somewhat taboo today. And everyone my age watched it and talked about it the next day."
– YEGMusic43
Outing Ellen
"When Ellen Degeneres's character came out as gay on her sitcom, there was a f'king firestorm."
– seanofkelley
Tame Drama
"Believe it or not the comedy SOAP was highly controversial when it premiered in the late 70s. It's done by the same people who did GOLDEN GIRLS. SOAP is so tame by today's standards a ten year old could watch it."
– ComedianRepulsive955
Chappelle's Show.
"I like South Park as an answer, but if we are talking about pushing boundaries, Chappelle's show at least deserves a mention. The Black, White Supremacist alone was wild to see on TV, and it was the first episode of the show to air."
– WaKa_
Reality bites. So did these reality competition shows.
Trash Talk Show
"Jerry springer, what a sh*t show."
– Jok3r609
When Looks Are Everything
"The Swan - a show about generally average, everyday women with low self esteem (due to a variety of factors), receiving plastic surgery and whole makeovers. Every episode would feature two ladies and a "winner" would be decided between them. At the end of the season, all of the winners would be put in a pageant to compete and see who would be dubbed 'The Swan'"
– DungeonFam30
Questionably Racist
"Takeshi's Castle / MXC wasn't exactly controversial at the time, but the production of that show seems awfully exploitative by today's standards (and for the English dub, horribly stereotypical and downright racist at times). We've since watered it down severely with versions like Wipeout, but the real ones know what the lineage of shows like that is."
– plasma_dan
Ultimate Exploitation Of Privacy
"Big Brother. How about we mix the worst people with the most exploitative form of entertainment whilst also casually normalising invasion of privacy."
– JFSOCC
Just because it was family friendly didn't mean everyone approved.
Representation Matters
"Sesame Street - When this show debuted in 1969, TV channels in the southern US refused to air it because it’s racially mixed group of children playing together was too controversial."
– virago72
Beavis And Butt-Head
"Surprised I haven't seen Beavis and Butt-Head on this list yet. When it came out everyone was freaking out."
– l06ic
Swearing
"Southpark, we went from outrage at Bart saying "eat my shorts" to Cartman feeding children their parents."
"I mean swearing on TV was less prominent , then Southpark pushed that forward quickly as well, all of a sudden "A**" and "Bullsh*t" were on standard TV."
– nonaestet
Every now and then a show comes out and sends audiences clutching their pearls.
But sometimes, even an episode from a relatively tame TV show can send viewers reeling with topical moments.
Examples of this include the much-hyped same-sex kiss on Melrose Place in the 90s that was ultimately edited to imply the act and the One Tree Hill arc that explored school shootings–which was considered daring and admirable at the time for addressing a malaise that continues plaguing the US today.
"Anyone here who decided to leave their job on the first day? What made you decide to run right away?"
Questionable Ethics
"They wanted us to make our first sales to friends and family members."
"F*ck that."
"If your first option is for me to make money off the people I care about most, there's really nowhere to go but down (morally)."- Mxysptlik
Thrown Into The Deep End
"They sent me to a room to do a bunch of on-boarding paperwork and those incredibly dull orientation videos companies love so much."
"Less than 10 minutes into it the manager comes in and tells me they need to cover the sales floor immediately because I was the only person for the department that day."
"No training, no computer logins, no idea where anything in the building was or who any of the dozens of other people wandering around were or even what was really expected of me."
"Just go and solo a department that usually had between five and eight staff at any time."
"I gave it a shot for like 45 minutes, and realized the whole place was staffed by miserable entitled f*cks who went out of their way to avoid work."
"I just walked out without saying anything."- SlothOfDoom
Being More Knowledgable Than Your Bosses
"I'm a fish hobbyist and I got a job in the fish department at PetCo."
"On my first day they wanted me to take out all the rocks (substrate) from each tank, scrub them and put them back in the tanks, one tank at a time."
"Moving substrate releases bad bacteria and can get the fish sick or kill them."
"I explained this to them and said that it was best to just do a water change for 20% of each tank."
"They said, basically, sorry this is what corporate says and you have to do it."
"I was like, 'Okay, I'll do it after lunch'."
"I never came back from lunch."- adura_grounded
Under The Sea GIF by Super SimpleGiphyNot Honoring Their Contract
"They lowered the rate from what was agreed upon and became upset when I spoke up about it."- Wonderful-Job3514
Mis-Management
"Wendy’s."
"There was an assistant manager whose only job seemed to be pacing around behind us during lunch rushes, repeating in a dull monotone, 'c’mon, let’s make those burgers. C’mon, let’s go faster, make those burgers'.”
"When I didn’t make burgers fast enough because my only training consisted of watching a 30-minute video, the manager sneered, 'why don’t you just go wash dishes, then? You CAN wash dishes, can’t you?'"
"That’s when I walked off the job."- LanceGannon
And You Thought YOUR Boss Was Horrible...
"I didn't even last a full shift."
"It was Pizza delivery."
"It was the early 90s; I was 20 M[ale]."
"My first shift was in torrential rain, driving a 1967 VW Beetle (with a flat windscreen)."
"Two orders required me to go back because the pizzas weren't the ones ordered."
"Then I arrived back to see that one of the other drivers had been shot in the leg with an air-rifle by Ricky the Shift-Manager.
I started at noon."
"Quit at 8.30pm."
"Can't remember if I was ever paid; didn't care."- EvilBosch
anna faris pizza GIF by Overboard MovieGiphyKnowing Their Self-Worth
"I was a car mechanic fresh out of school, hit up a local shop that hired."
"Their working conditions were trash, I bailed after the first day."
"Second one wasn't much better, in fact it was far worse, but I saw more potential in the work and needed the experience."
"It was a privately owned bus company that needed a mechanic to service their sh*t."
"It was the middle of winter and the garage had no heat, it was badly equipped, no car jacks so laying on the cold ground, etc."
"Also as it turned out, the fleet consisted of brand new buses that had to be serviced at the dealership to maintain the warranty, so I had no work whatsoever."
"Instead the guy wanted me to do basic maintenance work around the HQ."
"Mind you it was so cold outside that in 10 minutes I couldn't feel my fingers and if I went inside the main building to heat up, he complained that I wasn't working."
"Caught pneumonia after just 3 days, went back a week later when I was feeling better and quit."
"Third time was the charm."- DangerousTrashCan
And Yet, They Don't See A Problem?
"We hired someone to work at a freezer warehouse and he only showed up for one shift."
"He seemed ecstatic about the pay (20/hr for basic material handling, picklines, etc) but seemed to realize that humans hate being treated like machines and that's simply not worth it so we never saw him again."
"He was not the only one."
"My favorite time is when my manager hired 18 new people because he fully expected 80% of them to flake and not show the next day."
"Sure enough, only 3 even showed up."- ASaltyBiscuit
season 8 warehouse GIFGiphyDid They Actually Think They'd Get Away With It?!?
"Was supposed to be an office job, straight salary."
"Got there the first day and it turned out to be door to door sales, commission only."
"Not even people who had expressed interest."
"Just literally cold calling but in person at their door instead of on the phone."
"Didn't even stay to hear the end of their explanation of how really if you think about it this is the job they advertised and interviewed me for, just better because..."
"I don't know, some bullsh*t, as I said, I had left by then."- Zer0Summoner
Not Once, But Twice
"I actually did this twice."
"The first time was because I was a college student and needed a job to pay rent."
"Got a job working in a new call center that had opened up in my home town."
"It was awful.""The atmosphere was toxic, the boss was a horrific a**hole, and there were all sorts of shitty 'metrics' and goals, etc. you had to reach."
"I just never went back after the first day."
"Called them the next morning and told them it wasn't for me."
"The second time was a deal where I interviewed for a job that I was pretty excited about where I was going to be leading a team dealing with advocating for some issues in international politics."
"I was super excited."
"The interviews I had were done in a cafe."
"They sent me the address of the office and I arrived for my first day and it was some decrepit, barely standing office with the most outdated computers and office equipment."
"The 'team' I was going to be leading had been referred to as 'a small team' in the job interviews."
"In reality it was one lady who didn't speak either of the languages I speak."- mejok
Third Time Definitely Wasn't The Charm
"$20 for parking wasn't included in for being an employee."
"This was when min wage was 11.50.so you work 2 hour and pay your employer."
"F*ck that."
"Another place I worked open kitchen caught fire."
"All the customers could see this."
"They didn't make anyone leave."
"They kept putting food out!"
"They expected me to clean up their now burnt kitchen."
"Nope nope nope."
"Another place had defrosted chicken by leaving it outside of the fridge over night."
"On the floor."
"During the summer."
"Rats scurried away from it when we turned on the light."
"Called the safety department on that one."- Elfere
Inconsistent Would Be An Understatement
"Slowly started changing the terms of employment during the day."
"Started off '10 hour days 5 days a week £8/hour'."
"Shifted to 'sometimes you have to work weekends too'."
"Then 'actually it's crunch season right now so we're going to expect you to work Saturday and Sunday this week."
"Then 'actually we'll need you to stay Saturday and Sunday most weeks'."
"Then 'You'll be working Saturday and Sunday for the foreseeable future'."
"Then 'We'll need you to stay a few hours after work today'."
"Then 'Actually you'll be working 12-14 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 6 months'."
"Yeah nope."- NewRoundEre
Bye Bitch Get Out Of My Face GIF by Becky GGiphyWe've all had jobs we've hated, which we muddle through just for the money.
However, one's self-worth is always more important than a paycheck.
And when you notice your self-worth or safety being threatened, always best to act on it immediately.
