How necessary is it?
Some people need it.
Some are good with a once-and-a-blue-moon situation.
No matter your personal thoughts, when you're in a relationship it's a two-way street convo.
You have to be on the same page about intimacy or else it all blows up.
So...
Let's talk about sex baby.
Redditor Abysmal_2003 wanted to discuss sex and all the drama and fun it brings.
"How important is sex to you In a relationship?"
I love sex. And from experience I know it's important.
Toilet Thoughts
I Understand 2 Chainz GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy"A wise man once told me 'Sex in a relationship is like a bathroom in a house. It's not why you're there, but if it disappears it can be an issue.'"
Fubai97b
Desire
"Sigh... Prostate cancer survivor here. Since I had my prostate removed to stave off cancer, I have no sexual desire (this is rare; many men have ED problems, but an unlucky few like me have no sexual desire at all). My wife has been very supportive (we are both in late 60's early 70's) and we still have plenty of cuddles and our memories to fall back on."
amerkanische_Frosch
Checkmate
"I think it's something for which you need checkpoints every so often. While at the beginning you may have the same drive things can change on a physical level (hormones, etc) that may pull you one way or another. Don't assume that just because you had the talk years ago and you feel the same way that it's the same on the other side as well."
FellcallerOmega
"bringing it up"
"Doesn't have to be a centerpiece but I should never have to beg for it."
its_Is
"This to be honest. Always felt like I was the one 'bringing it up' so to say. Pretty big dealbreaker. And before someone saying stuff about how I could do something different/I did something wrong: Shut up. You have no clue about any context."
KanadeKanashi
Not Everything
making love passionate kiss GIFGiphy"Sex isn't a super important part of a relationship until one of you isn't getting the sex you want to be getting. Then it can become very important."
ethnicbonsai
Clearly everyone is obsessed with sex. Big shock.
Same Page
Season One Love GIF by This Is UsGiphy"If it’s not important to you, you better make sure your partner feels the same or you are going to have a bad time."
lone_rutabaga
Human Intimacy
"I really don’t care at all. I used to think I wanted sex, but then I realized I just incredibly starved of human intimacy. Yes sex is an intimate thing but I’ll be just as happy curled up under a blanket with someone."
YUNGN0
"Agreed. Am dating someone who can't have sex right now for medical reasons... instead we just cuddled on the bed for a little bit. It was just as magical, if not more so."
Glamdring804
earth-shattering...
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
be-all-end-all...
"Pretty important. I love sex. It makes me feel closer to my partner. I love feeling desirable, vulnerable, loved, trusted, and just good. That being said, if my sexual partners decided they didn't want sex anymore for whatever reason, than our relationships wouldn't change for me. I'd miss the sex, and coping might be difficult initially. But as important as sex is, it's not the be-all-end-all when it comes to loving someone, and I'd still be grateful to have them in my life."
mother**queer
Desired
tired madonna GIFGiphy"For me the sex itself isn’t what’s important so much as the feeling of being desired. We don’t have to have sex often as long as I know I’m the only one you’re looking at in that way."
ImAshroom-69
Together
"Very important, it brings us so much closer."
Inside-Currency9002
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
80/20
"Crucial. My mom used to say when the sex is good it makes up 20% of a relationship, when the sex is bad it becomes 80% of the relationship."
WhiteTigressss
"Old Boomer Dude Here: She was right on point. My sex drive departed in my fifties and I don’t miss it, but my poor wife certainly does. The interesting thing is apart from that, I’m a pretty great husband. But the lack of intimacy is killing the marriage."
bdbdbokbuck
beyond a certain point...
"I'd put it as a requirement, but it's more like 'we need a certain amount of compatibility sexually for this relationship to work' rather than it being a primary determinant of how much I value the relationship. Like, beyond a certain point, if sexual compatibility is good enough, it doesn't matter if it's the best I've ever had or if we have it all the time. Other things are much more important. Nonetheless, if we couldn't even make each other happy sexually, there's no way I'd stay in that relationship."
d**gsucker
Desire
passion seduction GIFGiphy"I just want to be desired."
darlingmakinzie
"This. The actual act of sex is cool, but I want the desire. I want to be lusted after the same way I would lust at my partner."
xxDoublezeroxx
Bad Cuts
"For me it’s important because it makes me feel wanted. But I only want it if she wants it. Nothing worse than having it feel like it’s a chore or obligation for her. Once a month isn’t cutting it but I’ve tried everything to make things in her life easier that maybe she’d be interested. My self esteem is now at a zero and all I want is to feel wanted or desired."
TheHeed97015
Chores
"Very... sex to me isn't just getting my load off but it'd a actual 'connection' to me on a emotional level... being able to communicate with each other and have a good sex life because of it is just as important to me as something as simple like being able to share chores or being able to accept that you might disagree on things and that being more then okay."
6F1I
Partners
black and white love GIFGiphy"Not at all important. To me the emotional intimacy matters. For me a relationship is a safe space where we can support each other and be there for each other. Sex doesn't have to be a part of that. Of course, as long as both partners think that way, otherwise there's gonna be a problem."
Name-Forsaken
speaking from experience...
"There are a lot of great responses in this thread. Great question, but also I think the wrong focus. The right one is 'how important is sex in the relationship you have?' If the answer to the question you asked is more or less the same from both parties, then all is good."
"If this is a source of disconnect then it can be a major issue. Sex and intimacy are foundational to a true relationship, but whether or not it is a load bearing support depends on both partners not just you. (speaking from experience)."
waremi
Hold Me
"It wouldn’t really affect me to not have it. Cuddles on the other hand... I can’t imagine a relationship without them. They recharge me and fill me with love."
machinedog
Sex. Love it. Hate it. We need it or need to communicate our needs. At least now and again.
Redditor Ad3quat3 asked:
"What’s an insult that sounds like a compliment?"
Ah, family...
"My uncle once said to me 'Nice tattoo, did you do it yourself?'."
"It's on my back."
- mikkelfromthegalaxy
GiphyWhat do I usually look like?
"You clean up well."
"Wasn't sure if compliment or insult or even how to respond."
Lord, it's hard to be humble.
"You are very modest and have much to be modest about."
- Gitaarfreak
Who else?
"Did you REALLY do that?"
- justthatrandomartist
Stay home next time.
"Thanks for coming!"
"You know, you really didn’t have to.”
- Little_LexiYT1
GiphyHow highly?
"No one could possibly think more highly of you than I do."
- sandyposs
Who cares?
"I love how you just don't care how you look."
"I could never do that I'd feel too awkward."
- meme_squeeze
GiphyDepends on the person, right?
"I hope your day is as good as you look!"
- tantoB
"I hope you get what you deserve."
- majesthiccbb
"May your day be as sweet as you are."
- twitterpated202
While some may consider it passive-aggressive, others just find these insults funny and clever.
So what's your favorite complimentary insult?
Redditor Iridescent126 asked:
"What was the saddest fictional character death for you?"
Spock
"Spock, in Wrath of Khan."
- Lisa_Anns_Ass
"'I have been, and always shall be, your friend'.”
- MadMacs77
"'Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human'."
- bozoconnors
GiphyStoick the Vast
"Stoick the Vast How to train your dragon"
"Dude literally just reunited with his wife after over 15 years of being gone and spends a total of about 15 minutes with her. Cause of death: basically took a bullet in the chest to protect his son."
- 24Nitro-gamer
"I saw it in theatres and a bunch of kids started to cry. Not like sniffing but out loud wailing. It added to the atmosphere."
- ThePurpleMister
"I cried, 20-something y.o. dude just ugly crying"
- leotushex
The Iron Giant
"The Iron Giant will ALWAYS have me ugly crying when he goes up to stop the missle"
- muhfckinuhhh
GiphyWhere The Red Fern Grows
"The dogs in 'Where the Red Fern Grows'."
- johnny*mseed
"Came here to say this. This book destroyed me in grade five but also really demonstrated grief in such a profound way."
- such_sweet_nothing
Bubba
"Bubba in Forrest Gump. That whole scene had me wrecked."
"From Bubba's weak, 'I wanna go home,' to Forrest's narration saying he died by that river in Vietnam while showing him holding Bubba....."
"God damn, I'm crying just thinking about it."
- ChuckZombie
GiphySaving Private Ryan
"Saving Private Ryan has two of the saddest, most brutally gut wrenching deaths I’ve ever seen on screen in Wade and Mellish."
"Wade trying to talk the guys through his injury that goes from panic and terror to acceptance of his own death as he cries out for his mother and says 'I want to go home'? Jesus Christ."
"Mellish is brutal for all the more uncomfortable and raw reasons you’d imagine. War is horrific. Young men are sent off to die, and their lives are cut short for no reason."
"It’s tragic and heartbreaking, and this is one of the only movies to really nail that feeling"
- Tuna-No-Crust
Ellie From Up
"Ellie from 'UP' gets me everytime"
- MaterialScientist420
"Sometimes I wonder how movies ever took off when the first ones were short with no sound."
"Then I remember the time a 10 minute animation with no dialogue absolutely wrecked me. It's a god-damned masterpiece and I hate it."
- cycloptian_tit
GiphyM*A*S*H Had A Few
"Henry Blake. MAS*H. The scene in the operating room. The actors weren’t told about it, just called back for one last scene shoot and Radar walks in and tells them. The silence is amplified by the sounds of instruments still working. Haunting"
- Salami_sub
"Piggy backing off this, the guy they tried to keep alive so his kids wouldn't remember Christmas as the day their dad died. That one gets me just thinking about it."
- GaussfaceKilla
"I just saw that one like a month ago! That was totally heartbreaking. Hawkeye spins the clock forward to twelve o five December twenty sixth and they all conspire to forge his death certificate"
- The_Dynasty_Group
My Girl
"'He can’t see without his glasses'"
- peesherman42
"What made this especially shocking/sad is that the entire movie was a huge bait-and-switch, but in a really effective way."
"At the time, 11-year old me thought -- based on the trailers and the marketing -- that I was about to watch a lighthearted coming-of-age movie."
"And while it does have some of that, boy did it have a macabre edge to it."
- Geekboxing
Littlefoot's Mom
"Littlefoot’s mother’s death"
- 2-DMan
"My son fell in love with this movie when he was 3 or 4, and every time that part would come on I would have to leave the room because no matter what age I am, I will always get emotional. Something about the music and the overall vibe that really just punches me in the gut."
- isurfnude4foods
"The music plus the quote 'Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely'. It's so beautiful and tragic."
- fiofo
GiphyThe sign of a great story is how it can touch our hearts and sometimes break it.
So what was the saddest character death for you?
Redditor AWESOMEKITTY7364 wanted to discuss the school system's biggest entrepeneurs, so they asked:
"What 'black market' did kids at your school run?"
I know a friend who sold pickles laced with vodka in high school.
She made a killing.
Mixtures
Mix Lab GIF by BrownSugarAppGiphy"Used to crush up warheads and mix them with sugar. Sold them by the straw with the ends melted. .50 a piece."
timelydemise13
'you got the goods?'
"I used to deal in whiteboard markers for teachers in high school. One teacher had a tendency to hoard them, leaving none for other teachers. I would take markers from him and provide them to other teachers in need."
"While there was no formal payment, I was given a little bit more leniency at times (e. g. Requests to leave the classroom for a moment etc)."
"Once the marker would start squealing on the whiteboard because it was almost empty, I'd get teachers giving me a nod as if to say 'you got the goods?' I'd then supply them with the marker color of their choosing (usually black)."
"It was actually a lot of fun, and I never heard teachers talk about my systems or chastise me for taking markers."
stoic4somethings
An Unfair Edge
"I was in elementary school when pogs were big. Everyone had cool slammers and stuff but I didn't have money for good ones. My dad made one out of 1/2' mild steel for me and used an engraving pen to make a simple pattern. Everyone was asking me where I got them from."
"I didn't wanna lose my unfair edge but i also knew i could make money. My dad had a big sheet of this 1/2' steel. I told them I was the only one who could get them. I sold them for 15 bucks a pop. My dad kept 10 I got 5. And thats when I learned what overhead was."
FNC1A1
Dress Code
"I went to a private high school with a strict dress code, ties, belt, etc. So I bought a bunch of ties and belts from a thrift store and ran a lucrative rental business out of my locker."
ccrawsh
"If you forgot your gym uniform more than once, you would get fined $5 to rent a uniform from the teacher or serve a detention. I would buy an extra set in the beginning of the school year of each size, and then rent them out/wash them myself undercutting the teachers 'fine' at a cost of $3. Very lucrative over my middle and high school years."
exorthderp
Got Pepsi?
Fail Diet Coke GIF by MOODMANGiphy"I used to sell coke (the drink) because they didn't allow fizzy drinks to be brought in."
Seventy0
Everyone loves a good fizz...
Copy-Sell
King Yes GIFGiphy"The only guy in the school who's family had proper TV channels used to tape wrestling events and rent them out."
221
Knock-Offs
"I have family in NY and would go visit a couple times a year back in high school. Every once in a while we'd visit Chinatown in NYC and I'd end up buying $100s worth of fake watches (Rolex, Tag, Gucci, etc) return to school and sell them for double than what I paid for them."
firkin_slang_whanger
"A lot of people still do this. They fly off to China, buy cheap knock-offs and sell them for a huge mark-up wherever they’re from. It’s big business here in the Philippines."
Mist3rTryHard
Currency
"My school used the metallic ends of pencils as a currency. Bronze was rarest, so it was the most expensive. Green was most common, so it was the least. We traded for erasers or pencil cases or a spot up in the four square line. Eventually got banned but we still operated with people acting as banks to keep the currency hidden and to keep transactions hidden."
Flavory_Boat50
Deals
"Pokemon cards we would hide under playground equipment and trade them because the teachers would take them if they saw them. So we always set up 'deals' in class and created a whole Pokemon card trading network."
immapengoon
"We did something similar in my school. We also bet cards on matches. That got shut down pretty quick. We didn't see anything wrong with it at the time. Ahhh, those were the days."
an_elaborate_prank
Bag Full
Black Friday Christmas GIF by TargetGiphy"At my school they too all sweets out of the vending machines and replaced them with healthy snacks."
"In the local town there was a sweet shop where you could buy a kilo of mixed sweets for £5, so every week I would go there and buy £1 of small paper bags and spend the Sunday night before school repackaging them all ready for the week ahead."
"Come Monday I would go into school and load my bag up every day selling the bags for 50p."
HeisenbergCooks
Kids are shady, yet diligent.
What kind of sneaky operations did your school have? Let us know in the comment below.
Redditor Artistic_Pop_3323 asked:
"On the first date, what were some immediate red flags that made you not go on a second date?"
On a first date years ago the man I met was easily twenty years older.
Found out he used his son's photo. Whacko.
Sales Pitch
"Dude spent the whole date talking about how he used to sell drugs."
bluecrowned
"I had a first date like this, too! Guy admitted when we first met years before, he was selling drugs and was also still in a relationship with a girl while trying to go out with me."
ultravioletblueberry
That Guy
"On our first date, he told me he was in med school, at the University in the town we lived in. I knew immediately there was no med school, but thought perhaps he was taken his pre-med classes or something, so went on a second date. He had spent an hour telling me how when he got done with his military service he had worked as a military contractor doing 'spy' work in Iraq and 'if I only knew the things he’d done!'"
"We stopped by his apartment to pick something up and while there I noticed all his mail was in a different name than he had given me. I 'magically' got a text from my work, told him I had an emergency and had to go immediately into work and handle it."
"After I told him there wouldn’t be a 3rd date, he got spooky angry and I caught him in the bushes outside my apartment, late at night, several times. I eventually had to get a restraining order - in the name he gave me. After that, I never saw him again! Thank God!"
PracticeLeading2814
worst date ever...
"She was still married and said she just wanted to know if she’d 'be able to still get dates if they split up'… worst date ever."
ohmybaddudeI
"Was hit on by a married woman, not my wife though. We talked for about an hour because I wanted to see what her game was. After telling her that I was married, she got really angry at me. I thought, WTF? Is there some kind of weird double standard going on here? She got really pissed off when I asked her why it was OK that she was married but not OK if I am married."
SpecialpOps
Need to make an order...
"Few years ago met up with a guy at a bar and like the entire time he would not stop talking about how he couldn’t wait to go to Russia and get a mail-order-bride."
rainbowcanoe
"Maybe he was trying to make you jealous. Like, 'Oh no, I might lose out on this prime life partner opportunity, better make my move posthaste!'"
maygpie
Twitcher
eye twitch GIFGiphy"He was about 10 years older than his pictures, he didn't stop twitching the entire time, and he kept pressuring me to go back to his place. I noped the f**k outta there."
SandMost7515
Umm... maybe get through the first course before offering your place?
By the Knife
Mad Addams Family GIFGiphy"She pulled out a switchblade mid conversation to slice up a passing ant."
OffWhiteDevil
For My Own Good
"I was planning a first date with this guy years ago and he suggested bowling. I said it was fine, but I've done it once a few years prior and I was legitimately terrible at it. The group I was with at the time made it fun regardless of me being totally uncoordinated."
"He offered to teach me, but I said another time- I just wanted to get to know him in a relaxed environment. He suggested we still bowl, minus the lessons and he could also share in the hilarity of my lack of skill. I was down. The night came and the lessons started almost immediately."
"How to stand, where to stand, everything I'm doing wrong, I'm not taking it seriously, he's trying to teach me 'For my own good.' He became mean. Not one smile except when he saw me at the start. I told him this was not the fun/chill night I said I was looking for and he told me it would be if I took the game more seriously. He was actually angry about the whole night."
Kihana82
Order Again
"He tried to change my order with the waitress because I didn’t order what he’d recommended."
MaggieLuisa
"Oh my God, I came here to say this exact same thing! He suggested something, but I wasn't feeling it. I ordered, and he grabbed the waitress as she tried to walk away, and said 'No, she'll have [xyz] instead, thanks.' And let her go, and that was that. It didn't even occur to him that she wouldn't listen or that I'd be pissed. Walked right out of the restaurant."
starlightsmiles31
Comparisons
"I once went on a first date with a guy who was clearly not over his ex. He spent the entire time talking about her, comparing me to her, and even showing me pictures of them together. It was a huge red flag for me and made it clear that he wasn't ready for a new relationship. Needless to say, I didn't go on a second date with him."
selective_girlfriend
Slug
wrestlemania 22 eating worms GIF by WWEGiphy"He told me he had worms. Not in a casting, fishing, or terrarium kind of way. Full on internal parasites."
verite_404
"Hahaha, I once had a date graphically describe the time he had to remove a tapeworm from his own butt.. while I was trying to eat spaghetti at an expensive Italian restaurant."
Enceladus89
Oof... this is why I'll never date again. #Singleforlife
Do you have any other singles stories? Let us know in the comments below.