Single People Who Have Experienced 'Touch Hunger' Explain How They Cope With It
AKA 'Skin Hunger,' when you just need a HUG.
This apparently is a somewhat unique need. Not everyone grows sad, frustrated, or lost without physical contact. Lots of people actually avoid physical contact as much as possible.
But there are some folks out there that NEED it. And we're not talking sex. People like this need an arm on the shoulder, a normal hug, a slow dance.
And It's pretty upsetting how many of the people that need the contact get with people that avoid the contact. Like some perfect storm where everyone is bummed out.
u/aygross asked, Do you have "touch hunger" the need for non sexual hugs touch cuddles etc? How do you deal with it?
This is Incredibly Tender
Today I said to my coworker
"remember that time we hugged in a trailer and then never talked about it?"
He said he did. He was having a rough time and needed to cry on a shoulder of a friend.
I asked if we could do that again, and he agreed.
I told him it's just fu**ing hard, he told me he knows but it will get better.
I think he might be one of my best friends and I didn't even realize it.
A Heavy Secret
My love language is physical touch and I try hard not to get starved. School breaks are easier because I'm home with family. When I'm at school or with friends I wish I could just know how they feel about physical contact. I'm always ready to give someone a big hug. Sit as close to me as you want. My heart breaks thinking about people who so desperately need a hug. I wish it was more acceptable for us to just ask and give.
All the Small Touches We Take for Granted
I was widowed nearly two years ago. I miss things like holding hands to help my husband cross the road, cutting his hair. The normal sort of things that you don't think about at the time. I cuddle my cat but it's nothing near the same even though it's nice. So I don't know how to cope really. Not helpful, I am 😐 sorry
Industrial Cuddlin'
I attended my first "cuddle therapist" yesterday. I was a little nervous about it at first. It was $100 an hour and I saw her for 2 hours.
I've been to massage therapists before. It was either a massage or this.
I paid a partial deposit. I found her on a cuddle website where she had gotten good reviews.
Yes, she was attractive. I already agreed to the guidelines when I made the booking. No bikini area touching. Wearing a t-shirt and shorts at a minimum (no 'just underwear'). Nothing sexual. No kissing.
I was worried about how I would feel afterwards. Would I feel lonely like when i do after having an orgasm? Or would I get attached to her?
She was wonderful. She gave great hugs and made me feel very comfortable. I had gone to her place and it was very cozy. She fit nicely into my arms. She had a great touch and her nails on my body felt nice. We traded spoon positions and other variations. We held hands. We talked and had a few things in common (we even went to college in the same city but at different times).
Fur Goes Far
I suppose so, but it isn't extreme. Having a pet to cuddle with was helpful when I was living alone. My suggestion would be to get a dog or cat. Obviously the dog would probably be easier to cuddle with, but cats are super comforting too. Cats will just get overstimulated a lot quicker than a dog.
Volunteer at an animal shelter! The animals there are probably more touch starved than you!!
Seems Simple Enough
nope, I have a beagle.
Beagle owners will understand.
For those suffering from it get a beagle.
This One is Just Very Very Sad
When you haven't had something for so long that you start to forget what it is then you are not even properly aware of it. You just feel that there is something missing constantly day to day and you learn to deal with it by distracting yourself with other things. It's when you remember exactly what you are missing that it gets properly bad. But you deal with it. You do what you do with everything else that you want or need but don't have. You take that feeling and bury it deep inside so that you can pretend it was never there.
What are Friends For!
I hug all my friends. Constantly.
They need physical love and validation too, so it's a win for everyone.
So That's Why They Do That
This is a well known phenomenon among many elderly who live alone. Many people don't like giving them casual touches because they feel the elderly are icky somehow. But the elderly are people, too.
Ever talked to an elderly person you didn't know before and they put their hands on your forearm and talked for what seems like hours?
A Well Timed Injury
I was suffering really badly a few months ago. And then I tore a bunch of muscles in my chest and had to go to the Dr and get physical therapy. Honestly the physical pain was almost worth it. If it gets bad again though I think I might just opt for haircuts, massages, or manicures etc. I don't usually like being touched by someone I don't know very very well, but for some reason a professional setting makes it fine.
Love Languages are Real
Absolutely. My husband and I have very little contact of any kind, so when we do touch, it feels awkward and unnatural. I just... deal with it. It hurts, and I've talked to him about it, but nothing has changed.
Hot Take
Someone gently caressing my back is sooo amazing. Could go for that over sex sometimes
The Search Is On
I love psychical touch. Hugs are amazing, cuddling is amazing. It's hard not knowing who enjoys those as well. I hope I find a partner that enjoys it as much as I do.
Use Denim for Best Results
When I was totally soaked fast by a super heavy rain it had kinda similar feeling to a hug. Maybe hop in the shower dressed?
Some Legitimacy
I just heard about something called cuddle parties on NPR today. They start off with discussing consensual touching and are overseen by a professional entity. A professional cuddler I guess.
A Tatted Up Hug
There are plenty of ways you can pay people to touch you in non sexual ways. Go get your hair cut, especially where they wash your hair and massage your scalp. Go get a massage from one of those Asian massage parlors, a half hour foot massage is usually pretty cheap and in my experience they also do your calves, shoulders, neck, and head as part of it. Another option is going for either a manicure or pedicure (treat yourself, do both) they almost always rub either your hands or your feet when they do it.
If you are feeling shy, insecure, or like that stuff isn't for your gender, just remember that a 300pb tattooed up dude on the internet said it's okay
People Break Down Which Things Can Ruin Sex In A Marriage
Reddit user Acrobatic_Month_1563 asked: 'What ruins sex life in a marriage?'
We know that not all relationships are destined to last forever.
What might begin as an endearing quality becomes annoying, or what starts off feeling like a minor inconvenience might grow to be a serious dealbreaker with time.
Changes like this can end a relationship, and they can do serious damage to the relationship along the way, like to the couple's communication skills, quality time together, and even their sex life.
Redditor Acrobatic_Month_1563 asked:
"What ruins sex life in a marriage?"
The Final Straw
"10,000 little unaddressed disappointments, which drain communication, which fosters negative assumptions, which breeds coldness, which turns to resentment."
"The sex obviously becomes ungood."
- NotSadNotHappyEither
Communication Is Key
"As someone who separated from his wife four.... days ago, communication is a big part of it."
"Communicate clearly that something is wrong, and work to improve little things. Learn about love languages and how to speak your partner's language. I would speak my own to her and she wasn't receptive because she wanted something else."
"Be self-aware so you know when something is bothering you, and tell them right away, don't wait until it's a big deal. Don't be defensive, be open to listening to everything. There's a ton of healthy relationship advice out there but it takes effort."
- crispyconcerto
"Communicating when things are wrong is very important, but it's also a balancing act. There is such thing as communicating too many problems, too often."
"For example, my wife was very very good at pointing out things about me that bothered her. Which is a good thing, normally. But she did it so much, about even the simplest little petty things, that it really made me feel like there was nothing about me or anything I did that was 'right' to her."
"And it also caused me to never point out anything about her that upset me because I didn't want to make her feel the way she was making me feel. So it was just all-around bad: too much communication from her, too little from me."
"And not everything always needs to be a serious, sit-down, heart-to-heart conversation, like, 'Okay honey, I understand now that I didn't center the salt shaker in the middle of the table the way you like it, I'll do it better next time, but do you really need to pull me into the other room and sit me down and have a 25-minute conversation about it, every time?'"
"I think the sweet spot is really somewhere in the middle."
- Asleep_Onion
Stress Goes Both Ways
"Stress. Kids, work, finances, or any other kind of stress. Kiss your libido goodbye until you figure out how to deal with it."
- OrangeMarmalade
"For some people, sex is how they release their stress. For others, they can't have sex if they're feeling stressed. Figure out which you and your partner are."
- JustTheTipAgain
The Nuances of Intimacy
"Not focusing on the intimacy and emotional safety outside the bedroom. The actual act of sex is the shortest part of the sexual process in my case."
- TacoTacoMi
"I've heard it said, 'Foreplay is constant.' Flirting is foreplay, being civil and polite with waitstaff is foreplay, eye contact and reflective listening are foreplay, getting the door is foreplay, bringing a big umbrella on a rainy day date is foreplay, walking them to their car is foreplay, and texting goodnight is foreplay."
"Foreplay begins the moment you begin communicating, so do it wisely and with good intention."
- Crom_Committee
No Emotional Investment
"I will never understand how people can end up with someone they just... don't care about. You don't need to know every single like and dislike, but damn. "What comfort foods my wife likes" should be an easy win."
- Luminaria19
"Dude, I literally overheard this conversation at the grocery store today that makes me wonder how people like this can get married. Let's call them Bill and Dave."
"Bill - What chips are you gonna get?"
"Dave - Uhhh, tostitos with dip."
"Bill - Okay, do your kids like those, though?"
"Dave - I don't know, probably."
"Bill - Well, maybe get them something that they like."
"Dave - Yeah, I'm getting Cheetos, too."
"Bill - Do your kids like those?"
"Dave - Probably, they're Cheetos. I'm sure they like them."
"Then, at the checkout line..."
"Dave - Gotta get some chocolate, it is shark week after all.' Then he proceeds to seemingly pick three chocolate bars at random."
"Bill - Yo, that bar is heavy on the toffee flavor. It's a unique preference, does your wife like toffee?"
"Dave - I don't know, the other two have peanut butter, though."
"Bill - Does she like peanut butter?"
"Dave - Sure, I mean, who doesn't? She likes it once a month at least.' And chuckles."
"Bill has the look on his face like he did the biggest facepalm ever."
"And here I am having online dates cancel on me the day of..."
- TacoTaconomio
Neglected Needs
"If you or your parent neglect each other's needs and fail to communicate, then it becomes a cycle. The time set aside for sex turns into arguments or relationship maintenance and sex falls by the wayside."
"Kids, marriage, getting fat, and not taking care of yourself don’t actively kill the relationship, but they don’t help, but once you stop putting in the effort to please your partner, things stagger on and begin to die."
- KeyStoneLighter
Mental Health Concerns
"Depression."
- SilionOwl
"This is my first thought. We still had an active sex life throughout our kids' childhood. Grief and depression killed our libido. Mine is coming back, but hers isn't. And I don't function unless I feel wanted."
- CountDown60
Relationship Over in One Word
"Resentment."
- lowercaseb86
"A lot of my hetero couple friends have divorced because the guy didn't do housework or childcare. That really builds up the resentment and sex suffers."
- raisinghellwithtrees
Taking Advantage of a Good Routine
"Routine. Unfortunately routine keeps you healthy and mentally focused."
- GiverTakerMaker
"We always have sex in the afternoon on Sunday. Yes, it is a routine but because we both know the routine, we both know not to let people come over or schedule things during that window of time. That's our time. H**l, even our little dog knows to leave us alone then."
- urgent45
When the Chase Ends
"Too many people stop romancing and dating their partners once they get married. Passionless sex is boring and mechanical."
"They say, 'My partner never wants sex anymore.' Well, when's the last time you did anything to help them feel excited about you?"
- v3sk
"I mentioned that to my husband about two and a half years after we married."
"He literally told me, 'I don't have to do that anymore. I married you.'"
"Then there was the excuse of no time and no money. I fixed those problems."
"Then it was, 'I'm too busy. I need to start a business.' So it never happened."
"Over time, my sex drive dwindled, and my resentment grew. Then he was angry about it. That killed it faster."
"Years went by of once-a-week sex, and he was resentful. I was resentful."
"I wanted to fix this. According to him, the whole entire problem was the lack of sex. That will fix everything."
"So you know what I did? I had sex every single day for two months straight. Then we got into an unrelated argument, and he said he never had enough sex during our marriage, and if we both just 'take care of our responsibilities,' everything would be fine."
"So uhm... I guess add entitlement to that."
- Tough_Music4296
Other Obligations
"Kids and work. The whole bedtime routine isn’t exactly a sex-driver, and when they’re asleep, it’s more tempting to just relax after a long day, before falling asleep yourself."
"To get any sex going here, we need to plan for it, and spice things up with lingerie."
- DrAquaSquid
Not That Kind of Roleplay
"Treating your wife like your mother (or a rival sibling) and then expecting them to be attracted to you when you're horny."
- imightbeyourmomma
"Everyone is saying 'the same routine,' but no one is mentioning how absolutely unappealing in every way it is for a man to treat you like you’re his mother/caretaker."
- hec_ramsey
"It should be mentioned more. Though, for the people who read this and decide to get their act together just for sex, don’t bother."
"It isn’t hot either when you know the adult you live with is only putting the dishes in the dishwasher to get sex, rather than respecting the life you are building together."
- nothing_is_perfekt
Chronic Pain
"Constant joint pain. Nothing kills the mood more than getting interested and then having shooting pain in the shoulder or knees."
"Sucks getting old."
- DistinctRole1877
Not Enough Variety
"Not trying new things, years of the same thing can end up with the mind (and some other things) wandering. Not saying it has to be frequent, but occasionally mixing it up is good."
- MonkeyDDeclan
Weak Promises Aren't Sexy
"When they no longer are a person of their word. Few people mention how damaging things like that are to attraction."
"To elaborate a slight bit, my mind was talking more about when someone stops following their dreams, gets complacent, says they'll do better for themselves, AND DOES NOT because they don't take themselves seriously."
- just-going-with-it
"Yes, it was bad enough that he did not value his word, but totally broke my heart when he had the same approach with the kids too. If you don't mean it, don't say it. Worse, don't promise it."
- Experiments-Lady
As fun as relationships are meant to be, they are a lot of work, as well, and require not only continuous commitment to their partner but to keeping the relationship healthy, as well.
Couples who continue dating each other, respect one another, and adapt their relationship with the times are probably the ones who are going to be the most successful and happily married.
Communication and trust are keys to a long-lasting relationship.
But even the best relationships are not without their secrets. Depending on the situation, some information is better left unrevealed so as to protect the relationship.
But is that a violation of trust–even if ignorance is bliss?
That's something that was explored after Redditor spinx248 asked:
"What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?"
Redditors came clean with their emission admissions.
"Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later?"
"That was me."
– Sarah-JessicaSnarker
It Was Coming From Inside The House
"That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought 'it could be a gas leak' was a waste of time."
– missnewbooty_
These secrets kept the relationship alive.
Monster-In-Law
"Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly."
"I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack."
"After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades."
"She doesn't need to know."
– toTheNewLife
Early Bird
"How we really met…"
"He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture."
"A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying 'I’ve just found your future husband' some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker."
"6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…"
– caca_milis_
There's no harm in keeping these private.
Potential Game-Over
"That I left the Nintendo Switch you gifted me on a bus. The Switch that you see me using is a replacement that I bought on ebay."
– TurtleGlobe
Pretend Hero
"Sometimes when I shake the kleenex outside, the spider isn't in it."
– ALighterShadeOfPale
"Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say 'oops' then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true."
– nebbeundersea
Redditors hid their clumsy attempts to make things right.
H2O-ohhh
"That one time when went camping for 3 nights I left the garden hose on at home full blast and we got a $700 water bill."
– poppinwheelies
Clumsy Repair
"That I chipped our wonderful granite quartz counter (that he picked out) and filled it with white putty. I will take this to my grave."
– Arrowings
Ignorance is bliss, forever and always.
Secret Ingredient
"Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix."
"They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave."
– camafu
Secrets are tricky, but like all other types of confidential information, they have a tendency of slipping out.
A possible breakup can either be blamed on the nature of the secret itself or the deception of concealing it from a significant other.
If you have a secret you're keeping from your loved one, you may want to consider if it's worth coming clean.
On one hand, it can be risky if a hurtful truth can jeopardize the relationship. But think of the advantage of voluntarily owning up to the truth and earning more respect from your SO.
Something to think about.
There are few feelings worse than ending a relationship and getting your heart broken.
Even when people end things "amicably", there is still a lot of pain and sadness that comes with it.
What's more, when someone was such a major part of your life for such a long time, it might be a while before a day goes by when you don't think about them at least once.
As a result, whether the breakup happened the previous day or many years ago, people will go to great lengths to find ways to stop thinking about their former partners and move on with their lives.
"What’s the best way to get over an ex?"
Dive Into A Hobby
"When my wife left me I immediately started a woodworking project."
"I had to stop and cry every hour or so but at least I had my mind occupied some of the time."- Ozonewanderer
"Find a new hobby."
"Something to occupy your mind in your free time."
"Something easily accessible that can cost very little if you’d like it to."
"Dungeons and Dragons, a period of history, buy an inexpensive guitar and learn to play, things like that."- MrsAndMrGee
Stop Holding On...
"The biggest thing for me is to let go."
"Let go of everything you were looking forward to."
"Everything you wanted to do."
"You no longer want to do those things."
"Every time you begin down a conversation in your head you wanted to have, let go."
"It’s hard but you’ve got to reformulate your life without them."
"They’re not coming back."- mistaniceguy
"The Longest Distance Between Two Places."
"Time."
"It takes a lot of time."
"Can't fast forward it."- CpuJunky
Unplug!
"I know it sounds very cliché but just go on about your day, and for the love of every single god do not stalk their social media it'll only make it harder for you."
"It will hurt the first few weeks of course, nothing you can do about that."
"Also, find a hobby or meet new people, maybe start doing something you used to before you started dating but stopped because you didn't have the time anymore."
"My last breakup was a relationship that lasted almost 7 years, that bad feeling lasted a few months and I started dating someone else one year after that."
"I'm really emotional so if I survived that, you'll be just fine."- ChillOnTheHillz
Tell Them How You Really Feel... Without Actually Telling Them.
"It gets easier with time, but goes faster if you take steps to get in the proper mindset."
"I became a man-whore for a while."
"It was distracting, but it felt so empty."
"What helped me the most was writing her a long email about her faults and sh*tty behavior."
"If you do this, don't hold anything back."
"Do NOT send this email."
"It's therapy for you, not for them."- Ben_Thar
Think It Over
"Actually rationalize it."
"Understand your loss and why you might think you lost more than you really did."
"If it ended because they didn't love you or loved you less than you loved them, understand that you only lost someone who didn't love you, so in reality you didn't lose anything of real worth."
"You'd never be happy long term in a relationship where they didn't truly love you back."- Furicist
Put Yourself First
"I found the best way to get over an ex was to date myself."
"Sounds sooooo cheesy, I know. but I spent time rediscovering this new me."
"I spent a LOT of time with my family and friends, I volunteered, I explored my hobbies, took on a few more shifts at work basically loving on myself."
"It helped me a lot!"- LikeINeverSaid
At The End Of The Day, There Is No Right Or Wrong
"Went through this for the first half of this year and still struggle occasionally, so here are my few cents."
"When you catch yourself starting an imaginary conversation or ruminating on them, acknowledge it and bring your mind away from it."
"Focus on the present."
"Practicing meditation will help you do this more effectively."
"Work out."
"If you do a challenging activity like running you’ll be busy thinking about the fact that you’re f*cking dying and still have a ways to go before you get back home, and your breakup will be the least of your concerns at that moment."
"In the end you’ll feel good because you actually did something, and you’ll feel like you’re making progress on something."
"Vent to your friends."
"You’ll annoy them eventually, but that’s okay for now."
"If you don’t want to annoy your friends, vent to chatGPT.""It may sound stupid, but it’ll acknowledge your feelings and give you some generic advice."
"It’ll help get things out of your system."
"Read 'Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love'."
"I burned threw this book in a couple of days and it was like therapy."
"Do a quick search and you’ll find the audiobook for free on YouTube."
"Going to a few therapy sessions will help you work through your feelings with someone who’s there to give you their full attention for an hour."
"Write a list of things you didn’t like about your ex."
"If they dumped you for no reason other than 'I’m just not feeling it' or blindsided you, they are untrustworthy, lack communication skills and are incapable of committing and putting in the work necessary for a relationship."
"That’s not the person you want to be with and that should be item #1."
"Otherwise, I’m sure you can think of things to write down."
"Join a new club, sign up for a class, start doing a new hobby, make new friends."
"If the breakup is extremely recent (less than 2 weeks), let yourself be sad."
"Let it wash over you, experience it, accept that heartbreak is the most human of emotions."
"We all go through it, there are millions of people on the same boat as you right now."
"Cry, lay down and do nothing, listen to sad music, do all of that, but once the two weeks are up you have to stop. It’s time to do the things I described above."
"This is a time for you to reconnect with yourself and find who you want to be apart from the influence of someone else."
"This is your opportunity to level up."
"This is a months long process, but you got this and I’m rooting for you!"- Zwolfer
Patience Is A Virtue...
"Wait 30 years and it eventually goes away."- prajnadhyana
Just Find The Joy... Except In Your Relationship...
"Oh man here we go."
"Excercise and try to do things that make you feel better about yourself, new outfit/hairdo etc."
"Surround yourself with friends and family."
"Plan fun events with them etc."
"Write down the terrible things from the relationship."
"Your brain will try to remember the best."
"Don't forget why it's over."
"Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT. Try to contact them."
"Be strong. "
"Erase their phone number."
"Unfollow social media."
"Contacting them will only result in being ignored (more pain) or receiving a response that might continue hope of a future."
"Best of luck."
"Sh*t isn't easy, but it WILL GET EASIER."
"Not immediately, but it will."- littlemegzz
Some relationships simply aren't meant to be.
Which doesn't make getting over ending them any easier.
But dwelling in the past will never do any good, the only thing to do is move forward and accept the present for what it is: a present.
Sex work is work. Honest work.
It feels like the opinion on this issue is slowly turning.
So that opens us all to a lot of progress.
But is it progress in every area of life?
Let's discuss porn stars.
We support them. We support their work.
But would we accept one in the family?
Would any of us enter into a romance with one?
Or someone akin to them?
Redditor Throwaway4561947373 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on dating options, so they asked:
"Would you ever date a pornstar? Why or why not?"
I did briefly date a porn star.
It was fun. But I'm way too jealous.
Schedule
Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"I dated a stripper. Her schedule was the real deal breaker. Well, that and her cocaine addiction, but that's beside the point."
C-C-C-Coolah
"The schedule thing was kind of nice at first because I value my alone time, but after a while the showing up at my house at 530am before I went to work was starting to make me feel really gross."
C-C-C-Coolah
No Mas
"I dated a stripper once. Craziest couple of months of my life. I still have no idea how old she is or what her actual life story is/was. The sex was shockingly tame, but she did have awesome ti*s. Not a chapter in my life I’d like to revisit tho haha."
Climate_Face
"I had a roommate who was dating a stripper and eventually dating her 'show partner' at the same time. It was a very wild 5 months where he got almost no sleep (schedule thing, not sex thing) and eventually said 'no mas.' Turned out there was too much of a good thing."
ksuwildkat
Wild
"I don’t think I personally could. Little too wild of a lifestyle/profession for me."
JessiePeteWhite
"Also, just imagining dealing with the fans that come from dating a regular celebrity makes me feel uneasy. The kind of people who'd seek out a pornstar in public would be a whole other level of cringe."
Poignant_Porpoise
"I wonder how you envisage their lifestyle. Plenty of them live normal lives and just go to work like anyone else. And especially with how many are independent these days the work is a lot more in their control and safer."
Athaelan
Patreon
"I dated a girl who sold nudes on Patreon back in the day. When we first started dating I knew she had nudes up on deviant art, bit didn't know about the Patreon. She never liked going out during the day except if we went to the movies. One day I got the tines for the different theaters mixed up."
"Got there, the next shoeing was in an hour, so we said f**k it and went to the cafeteria (the theater was attached to a mall) and ate some food. Some random chubby dude comes out excited and out of breath calling her by her handle saying he buys a bunch of her pictures and he couldn't believe he was meeting her."
"We were both frozen. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to scare the guy off or let her try to make another sale while she thought I was gonna be pi**ed that she didn't tell me about her Patreon. We laughed about it later."
AshyBoneVR4
About the $$$
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Thought about dating a stripper but even outside the club when we just hang out as friends she’s very monetary about everything. If I have to pay a service fee to hang out with you then I’d rather just not."
Keyguin
Always follow the money.
That's where the truth is.
Work
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"No, because I'd feel like I was asking them to work whenever I wanted to have sex. I never said it was a rational thought, people."
Froticlias
Do what you Gotta!
"I dated a porn star for a bit. he was straight but did mostly gay shoots because it's higher paid. when he would tell me he had a good day at work it usually would mean that everyone was being cooperative or something funny happened."
night-gloss
"I have a friend that’s a porn star, and she said sex on set is very different from sex with someone you love/care about."
Gogh619
"That makes sense, but I could still imagine feeling like you’ve been touched and simulated so much that doing it more seems overwhelming, even if emotionally you would want to do it. And if you’re a guy you might not have much left in the tank so to speak."
Leet_Noob
For Love
"It's easy to say I wouldn't judge but in all honesty pretty sure many people wouldn't be comfortable, some would be I guess but most wouldn't. I think it all falls down to when you are dating them if you are truly in love enough to allow this or well maybe you like they do that anyway, it's really hard to say in real life."
DemonCyborg27
Lack of Potential
"Definitely not. Whenever I've dated someone, I've been at least open to the possibility of it potentially turning into marriage and a family; I would not want my kids to have to deal with that. Can you imagine going through your teens, with people sending you clips of your mum doing whatever to and with whoever? Your teenage years can be a tough enough experience by their own merit; let alone adding in that crap."
J-in-the-UK
A Current Affair
"A former pornstar and I wouldn't have an issue, we all have a past after all. An active pornstar though would be a serious no from me. I know I wouldn't be able to handle my partner being intimate with another person while they are with me, it being their job wouldn't matter."
votemarvel
Well to each their own.
Just be nice about people's choices.