AKA 'Skin Hunger,' when you just need a HUG.
This apparently is a somewhat unique need. Not everyone grows sad, frustrated, or lost without physical contact. Lots of people actually avoid physical contact as much as possible.
But there are some folks out there that NEED it. And we're not talking sex. People like this need an arm on the shoulder, a normal hug, a slow dance.
And It's pretty upsetting how many of the people that need the contact get with people that avoid the contact. Like some perfect storm where everyone is bummed out.
u/aygross asked, Do you have "touch hunger" the need for non sexual hugs touch cuddles etc? How do you deal with it?
This is Incredibly Tender
Today I said to my coworker
"remember that time we hugged in a trailer and then never talked about it?"
He said he did. He was having a rough time and needed to cry on a shoulder of a friend.
I asked if we could do that again, and he agreed.
I told him it's just fu**ing hard, he told me he knows but it will get better.
I think he might be one of my best friends and I didn't even realize it.
A Heavy Secret
My love language is physical touch and I try hard not to get starved. School breaks are easier because I'm home with family. When I'm at school or with friends I wish I could just know how they feel about physical contact. I'm always ready to give someone a big hug. Sit as close to me as you want. My heart breaks thinking about people who so desperately need a hug. I wish it was more acceptable for us to just ask and give.
All the Small Touches We Take for Granted
I was widowed nearly two years ago. I miss things like holding hands to help my husband cross the road, cutting his hair. The normal sort of things that you don't think about at the time. I cuddle my cat but it's nothing near the same even though it's nice. So I don't know how to cope really. Not helpful, I am 😐 sorry
Industrial Cuddlin'
I attended my first "cuddle therapist" yesterday. I was a little nervous about it at first. It was $100 an hour and I saw her for 2 hours.
I've been to massage therapists before. It was either a massage or this.
I paid a partial deposit. I found her on a cuddle website where she had gotten good reviews.
Yes, she was attractive. I already agreed to the guidelines when I made the booking. No bikini area touching. Wearing a t-shirt and shorts at a minimum (no 'just underwear'). Nothing sexual. No kissing.
I was worried about how I would feel afterwards. Would I feel lonely like when i do after having an orgasm? Or would I get attached to her?
She was wonderful. She gave great hugs and made me feel very comfortable. I had gone to her place and it was very cozy. She fit nicely into my arms. She had a great touch and her nails on my body felt nice. We traded spoon positions and other variations. We held hands. We talked and had a few things in common (we even went to college in the same city but at different times).
Fur Goes Far
I suppose so, but it isn't extreme. Having a pet to cuddle with was helpful when I was living alone. My suggestion would be to get a dog or cat. Obviously the dog would probably be easier to cuddle with, but cats are super comforting too. Cats will just get overstimulated a lot quicker than a dog.
Volunteer at an animal shelter! The animals there are probably more touch starved than you!!
Seems Simple Enough
nope, I have a beagle.
Beagle owners will understand.
For those suffering from it get a beagle.
This One is Just Very Very Sad
When you haven't had something for so long that you start to forget what it is then you are not even properly aware of it. You just feel that there is something missing constantly day to day and you learn to deal with it by distracting yourself with other things. It's when you remember exactly what you are missing that it gets properly bad. But you deal with it. You do what you do with everything else that you want or need but don't have. You take that feeling and bury it deep inside so that you can pretend it was never there.
What are Friends For!
I hug all my friends. Constantly.
They need physical love and validation too, so it's a win for everyone.
So That's Why They Do That
This is a well known phenomenon among many elderly who live alone. Many people don't like giving them casual touches because they feel the elderly are icky somehow. But the elderly are people, too.
Ever talked to an elderly person you didn't know before and they put their hands on your forearm and talked for what seems like hours?
A Well Timed Injury
I was suffering really badly a few months ago. And then I tore a bunch of muscles in my chest and had to go to the Dr and get physical therapy. Honestly the physical pain was almost worth it. If it gets bad again though I think I might just opt for haircuts, massages, or manicures etc. I don't usually like being touched by someone I don't know very very well, but for some reason a professional setting makes it fine.
Love Languages are Real
Absolutely. My husband and I have very little contact of any kind, so when we do touch, it feels awkward and unnatural. I just... deal with it. It hurts, and I've talked to him about it, but nothing has changed.
Hot Take
Someone gently caressing my back is sooo amazing. Could go for that over sex sometimes
The Search Is On
I love psychical touch. Hugs are amazing, cuddling is amazing. It's hard not knowing who enjoys those as well. I hope I find a partner that enjoys it as much as I do.
Use Denim for Best Results
When I was totally soaked fast by a super heavy rain it had kinda similar feeling to a hug. Maybe hop in the shower dressed?
Some Legitimacy
I just heard about something called cuddle parties on NPR today. They start off with discussing consensual touching and are overseen by a professional entity. A professional cuddler I guess.
A Tatted Up Hug
There are plenty of ways you can pay people to touch you in non sexual ways. Go get your hair cut, especially where they wash your hair and massage your scalp. Go get a massage from one of those Asian massage parlors, a half hour foot massage is usually pretty cheap and in my experience they also do your calves, shoulders, neck, and head as part of it. Another option is going for either a manicure or pedicure (treat yourself, do both) they almost always rub either your hands or your feet when they do it.
If you are feeling shy, insecure, or like that stuff isn't for your gender, just remember that a 300pb tattooed up dude on the internet said it's okay
Everyone obsessed with true crime doesn't really grasp the idea of... True Crime.
Do we?
It's not a movie.
This could be us.
Horror is happening all around us.
Maybe that's why slasher movies do so well.
Redditor Noahs_25 wanted to hear about some non-fictional tales of horror.
"What is the scariest story you know that is 100% true?"
I haven't seen much except your occasional brawl. So tell me more...
The Collapse
"The 1904 Cincinnati Privy Disaster. In 1904, nine schoolgirls drowned in an outhouse after the floor collapsed. They literally drowned in human waste."
Jenny010137
In the Attic
"I would call it creepy more than scary, but my mom's friend had a small house and lived alone. She noticed weird things: a batch of soup depleting faster than usual, missing eggs, damp towels in the hamper when she hadn't used any, extra dishes in the dishwasher, etc... This went on for months, she thought she was just being forgetful."
"One day she heard some thumping around in her attic and went to investigate. She found some make shift living quarters. Small radio, hot plate, sleeping bag, pillow, food wrappers, etc... She called the cops who came to keep an eye on the place. They ended up catching a homeless man climbing a tree, trying to sneak into her attic window."
"He had been doing this almost daily. He would wait for her to go to work, then go down stairs and help himself to food and amenities. The funny part about this story is they got to know each other throughout the ordeal, and the guy was actually very respectful, just down on his luck."
"She didn't press charges, instead, let him move in, helped him get a job, and he lived in the attic until he got back on his feet. Creepy crap with a happy ending."
Saganic
In the Road
"My mom was driving, and a guy ran out in the road, so she stopped so she couldn’t hit him. It was night time, so it was pretty dark out, and 3 other men emerged from the forest around, all trying to use the door handles of her car to get in. She locked them luckily, and gassed it to the nearest town. Remember to always lock your car after you start it, because if it wasn’t unlocked who knows what would’ve happened to her."
Oxidias
And it really explodes...
"Neishabur train dissaster is something that reminds me how death can come at any moment. A train with 51 wagons of sulphur, fertilizer, petrol and cotton wool somehow broke loose and rolled down the track about twenty kilometers until it derailed in the town of Khayyam, Iran. There were no humans on board."
"Chemical leaks ensued and authorities tried to extinguish whatever fires broke out."
"At one point, the whole thing explodes. And it really explodes. The whole town of Khayyam is literally demolished, 3 nearby towns are badly damaged and it was heard 70 km away. The wreckage continued to explode for several days after. Around 300 people died and more than that injured. An earthquake of 3.6 on Riechter scale was produced."
Chiruadr
Drop Dead
"My friend's boss bought an Audi A4 convertible, back when they were new and interesting. One of the talking points was the pop-up roll hoops that were hidden unless you rolled it. A few months after buying it he got to test those roll hoops out, as he lost control and skidded down a steep bank about 10m (~35ft) deep."
"The roll hoops did their job, and he survived with just cuts and scratches from the bushes he'd plowed through. The car ended up the right way up and he got out, walked back up the bank to the side of the road, then got on the phone to the police to report the accident."
"While he was standing there a driver from a car that had seen the accident came over to speak to him. Approaching from behind the other driver asked if he was okay. My friend's boss turned around to reply and dropped dead. His neck had been fractured, but was in one piece right up until he turned his head, when it severed his spinal cord."
BigBadAl
Well this is all giving me heart palpitations.
Shots Fired
"Artimus Pyle the drummer from Lynard Skynard survived a plane crash and walked to a nearby house only to be shot by the homeowner. The homeowner saw a bloody long-haired man and winged him. Pyle survived that as well and made a full recovery. He told the story first hand in an interview with Howard Stern. That’s how I initially heard of this. I don’t have that audio, but I did find this https://lynyrdskynyrd.fandom.com/wiki/1977_Plane_Crash"
Rickson20
Bunk
"The driver one of the Semis we took in on trade died in the truck. The sleeping area is a 'bunk' with a mattress that can be flipped up and under it is a seat and a table. So during the day it's a Dinet set up. And at night, you pull a lever and pull the bunk down to sleep. Well something happened and the bunk flipped up while the driver was sleeping and it pinned him against the wall. He couldn't get it to drop back down and suffocated."
"He was stuck there for somewhere around 12 hours. Someone had noticed that he was parked for an unusually long amount of time for the kind of deliveries he did. The company that built the sleeper did something to the bunk so that couldn't happen again and supposedly recalled all of that sleeper style."
z0mbiemechanic
“gut feelings”
"When my aunt was about 16 she was working at a grocery store and had a boss in his mid twenties. One day he called the house and was begging her to sneak out and hang out with him. She was considering it because it was her boss and she didn’t want to say no."
"My mom, who is two years younger than her, always gets these incredibly spot on 'gut feelings.' She had one that night and begged my aunt not to go out with him. Thankfully she listened to my mom and told him no which made him really angry. He ended up going out that night and meeting another girl."
"He took her out to some cliffs and pushed her off. Somehow she lived through this and was able to get him sent to prison. I feel so sorry for that girl and so thankful for my mom and her gut feelings. Always trust your gut."
pessimisticoptimista
Normal
"I spent my first 10 years in New Delhi. Back then, we would find dead women (burnt with acid or set on fire) and it used to be so 'normal.' Like oh look, another one of those dowry cases where her family didn't pay the husband enough money so they killed her. Many years later i revisited those memories and realised how insane that actually was! I'd totally forgotten about all that."
saywat30
A Close Call
"My friend tripped and fell onto the tracks, landing his face onto the 3rd rail. We kinda stood there in absolute shock because we thought he was dead, but then he said, 'can I move? Will I be electrocuted?' We told him to move instantly and he did, we got him off the tracks, and no less than 2 minutes later a train went zipping by. I think the 3rd rail turned on seconds after his face came off of it. I know that's not scary to a lot of people, but to me it was because I would have lost a close friend back when I was about 12."
tacolikesweed
As if Dateline NBC isn't enough to watch. Goodness...
No matter what people say, everyone goes through a struggle of one sort or another in their daily lives.
Some of these are relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, however, and are the sort of things one simply vents about with their friends or family.
Others are a bit more serious, and much more personal.
So personal, in fact, that people feel as if they have no one they can talk to, as there is simply no one who could even hope to understand what they're going through.
"What silent battle are you fighting at the moment?"
Unhappiness Or Uncertainty?
"The urge to quit my job without anything lined up."- ShadowoftheDrake
Coming To Terms With One's Past
"All the traumas I'm having to heal from so i can properly function in life."
"I'm tired of feeling so held back because of the sh*t I had to go through growing up."
"I'm very thankful I've got therapist that I have, but it's just very exhausting working through your past so you can move forward."- urbanlulu
Crippling Lonliness
"Surrounded by family and friends but lonely as hell inside."- KenzoAtreides
Addictions
"Binge eating addiction."- flowery9777
Battle Of The Office Temperatures...
"A war of epic proportions over the ideal temperature for the office."
"Any time my colleague leaves the room I adjust the AC to a non-cataclysmic heat death of the universe level, and when I leave the room she turns it back."
"It's been years."
"A word has never been said."- P1cn1cProblems
"Alcoholism but I’m approaching my first 24 hours sober in 15 years."
"As a career bartender I’m in the process of changing careers as well and I have a wonderful support system with my close friends and family!"
"I’m in the process as well of looking into non-religious community support groups in my area and should be attending my first meeting in a few days!"
"You’re all beautiful."- Liah_Natas_420
On/Off Relationship With Work
"Going to work, I usually get bursts of energy for a couple months, and other times I can’t stand the thought of going."- skittleyskittlex
What To Do With My Life
"What I want to do as a career, I feel stuck."- Goosetefer
Deep, Deep Rooted Issues
"I’m coming to the realization that I am an idiot."
"All my life I have been taken care of."
"My Grandmother and then the mother of my children. "
"I have zero mathematical abilities, numbers just don’t make sense to me."
"I can’t remember the order of the months or tell time."
"I have never been able to play board games or understand the process of doing a sport."
"Just situations that everyone seems to be able to do break down when I try to do them."
"If I ever messed up and said something completely wrong or incorrect I was always able to raise my eyebrow and convince the other person I was just joking."
"Now that my wife has moved on to her new family she still helps me daily."
"I guess I should say ex wife."
" Since I was very young I have been able to nod and parrot what a person in charge is telling me to make them believe that I understood the assignment."
"I found a job in a factory right out of high school that put me in a floor supervisor position and it allowed me to take what my boss said to me and I just relayed that to my crew."
"I did that job for 16 years and when we went to online work during Covid I was found out."
"As soon as it came to light that I had no Idea how to do the things that I was asking other people to do I just quit my job."
"The last couple of years I’ve lost everything and am grasping at straws to try to live some kind of life."
"It’s been a little over 7 months now and I don’t leave the house anymore."
"My Grandma has passed and my lovely ex-wife has helped me set up a small apartment that I can exist in."
"It's a silent battle to just keep going every day now that the person I was pretending to be my whole life has died in his own bed of ignorance."- jiffypopper44
Sometimes when we find ourselves lost in a funk of sadness or depression, it's easy to think that no one will understand, and no one can help.
But even if they won't necessarily understand, there is always someone willing to listen, who will also do their best to help.
People Break Down The Most Unexplainable Disappearances They've Ever Learned About
There's little more unsettling than noticing a "missing person" flyer.
Even if we don't know the person who's picture we're looking at, we still can't help but get chills.
As our mind begins to wonder what could have happened to them, with a slight inclination to assume the worst.
But perhaps the most sobering thought we have when we read or hear about someone's mysterious disappearance is the thought that it could happen to anyone we know.
Or even us.
"What are some of the most bizarre, and unexplainable disappearances that you know about?"
Beatriz Wink
"Brazil, 2012. Aparecida do Norte, a city famous for a giant Catholic Temple."
"An elderly catholic couple was in town as tourists, they went shopping for souvenirs and, the husband waited in line to pay for items, as his wife waited outside."
"When he left the store, she had vanished."
"Fast forward, he called his family, which lived in another state."
"Police, church, investigators, no one has ever found one single clue to what happened to her."
"Cameras, cars, phone calls, hotels, nothing."
"As if she was lifted to sky in the blink of an eye."
"The husband is still alive, his adult children keep searching for her."
"One of theirs children even talked to drug dealers, searched forest areas, and nothing."
"The appalling detail is that there is literally not one single hint of her whereabouts."
"The couple is called Delmar and Beatriz Winck."- fernandoteruo
Jason Jolkowski
"Jason Jolkowski was a 19-year old from Omaha who disappeared without a trace in June 2001 on his way to work."
"What’s baffling about the case is how quickly it happened."
"He was called into work at a fast food restaurant for an unplanned shift, took a shower, started walking to a high school a few blocks away to meet a co-worker who offered him a ride, and just vanished somewhere on that walk."
"People go round and round on internet message boards about what they think happened, but there have never been any clues to substantiate what happened."- retrometro81
Lars Mittank
"Lars Mittank still got me f*cked up bro."
"He’s just seen on an airport security camera and then SPRINTS out and scales a fence, runs into the woods and is never seen again."
" Why was he running?"
" What was he running from?"
"Where did he end up?"
"The whole thing is so confusing."- ullrmad13
Kelly Disney
"In 1984, a girl named Kelly Disney went missing after having a fight with her boyfriend at a party."
"A pair of officers were among the last people to see her, and they said she told them she was walking to a friend's house."
"Her family searched for her, but the cops deemed her a runaway, so the case went cold."
"10 years later, someone finds a skull in a car at the reservoir where people went to party."
"He went to take it to the police station, but it was Saturday so they were closed."
"So what did he do?"
"He took it home and WASHED IT WITH DISHSOAP."
"They were able to confirm it was Kelly Disney's skull, and that there were signs of trauma, but it lead nowhere."
"Some locals believe it was the boyfriend."
"Others think there may have been a serial killer in the area, as 4 more girls went missing after Kelly."
"All of them went missing while walking at night, although two of the girls were taken together."- row-oak
The Missing Boy of Somosierra
"The Missing Boy of Somosierra."
"He disappeared in a truck wreck in Spain in 1986."
"You can still see traces of the accident on Google maps."- PowerlessOverQueso
David Glenn Lewis
"David Glenn Lewis."
"Disappears on Super Bowl Sunday in Amarillo, TX in 1993, with a freshly made sandwich in the fridge and the VCR set up to record the game."
"His wife and daughter return home from a trip a few days later to find him gone but his watch and wedding ring in the house."
"His car is found at the courthouse in Amarillo."
"Four days later he’s the victim of a hit-and-run as he’s walking on the side of the highway in Moxee, Washington."
"It takes over 10 years to identify his body and no one knows how he got there or why he was in Washington."
"There’s a lot of weird details in this one."
"He was a lawyer and had expressed fear to his wife that his life was in danger."
"Worth reading up on!"- meany_beany
Glen And Bessie Hyde
"Glen and Bessie Hyde."
"Back in the late 1920s, the newlywed couple attempted to kayak the rapids of the Grand Canyon, but both disappeared without a trace."
"Their kayak was found with much of their equipment in it, but the trail quickly went cold."
"50 years later, a kayaking guide was taking a group of tourists down the Colorado River and told them about the disappearance of the Hydes."
"An older woman in the group chimed in, claiming to be Bessie, and describing in detail how Glen had been abusive, and so she killed him, but she later recanted the story."
"A couple decades later, another woman known for rafting the Grand Canyon passed away, and her friends found the Hydes' marriage certificate among her belongings, leading to speculation that the late guide may have actually been Bessie under another name."
"Despite these theories and speculation, the case remains unsolved."
"There's a podcast called National Park After Dark that discusses all kinds of deaths, disappearances, and other such events in national parks around the world, and I would highly recommend their episode on this case."- MasteringTheFlames
It's sad to think that the fates of all of these people remain a mystery.
Sadder still for all their families, who never have, and likely never will, get the closure they deserve.
Though they might not always be easy to notice, being single has numerous advantages.
Primarily, that you are never beholden to anyone, and can live your life exactly as you so choose.
Of course, for some people, there is the cold comfort that being single means that you are out of a bad relationship.
However difficult ending that relationship may have been, returning to single life afterwards also allows you to re-evaluate what you want, or even what you deserve, in a partner.
Giving you the foundation to avoid some past mistakes.
"What's one 'type' you'll never date again?"
Bring Me Up, Don't Take Me Down
"The type that makes you feel really bad about yourself."- Claralaraa
People Afraid Of Monogamy
"The type with a partner they didn’t tell me about."- 69MILFdudes
People Who Refuse To Be Wrong!
"Those that invalidate your feelings and are never in the wrong, no matter what."- False_Stuff835
Im Right Told You So GIF by DeRay DavisGiphyWhat Are They Hoping To Accomplish?
"I also will not date girls who try to make me jealous."- funck93
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think About Me!
"One sided and pretty surface level conversation type."
"Never again."- WorkingFI
No One Likes A Know It All
"The 'smartest guy in the room' guy."
"He was a know it all and no one could tell him any different."
"It was insufferable."- Mean_Parsnip
Know It All Adventure GIF by PeacockTVGiphyTalking To Everyone But Me
"Always-on-the-phone-type."- Pattt2602
Everyone Needs A Little Personal Space
"Clingy girls."
"Like for real she made me sit on calls with her for 5 hours at a time and she barely said sh*t."
"I wasn't allowed to hang up or she'd have a f*cking tantrum, and there's some extra things im not going to say here."- LoginPuppy
Always Be Your True Self
"Closeted."
"I don't want to be anyone's dirty little secret."- SallyHeap
People Who Refuse Help.
"Someone who seems like a victim in life."
"I wanted so badly to help my ex out."
"To get her out of her sh*tty living situation."
"Help her get her finances and medical needs in order."
"I really stuck my neck out."
"Gave it 150%."
"Exhausted myself regularly just so I could help her out."
"I just wanted to see her quality of life improve."
"I just wanted her to feel like life was going ok."
"It was never enough."
"Eventually she moved in with me, and spent almost a year doing nothing but playing PS4, eating, and sleeping."
"Didn't even start looking for a job."
"Eventually I ended it, and a few months later she moved back to her mom's place."
"The day after, I woke up to literally hundreds of messages from her begging me to take her back."
"Saying that she'll change."
"She'll do anything."
"She had forgotten how much worse her life was."
"I try to stay friends with her, but she's taken to making herself the victim in our relationship since we broke up."
"Maybe I wasn't perfect, I can admit that."
"But I willingly went to hell and back on multiple occasions just to try and make her smile."
"It crushes me that after everything, she trivializes everything I put into the relationship."
"This post was longer than I thought, but writing this out was therapeutic."- SinisterPixel
It's easy for people who have been single for a long time to run into the arms of the first person they can.
Though before doing so, it's always good to reflect on any past relationships and why they didn't work out.
Because when push comes to shove, being single is infinitely better than being in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you completely happy.