AKA 'Skin Hunger,' when you just need a HUG.
This apparently is a somewhat unique need. Not everyone grows sad, frustrated, or lost without physical contact. Lots of people actually avoid physical contact as much as possible.
But there are some folks out there that NEED it. And we're not talking sex. People like this need an arm on the shoulder, a normal hug, a slow dance.
And It's pretty upsetting how many of the people that need the contact get with people that avoid the contact. Like some perfect storm where everyone is bummed out.
u/aygross asked, Do you have "touch hunger" the need for non sexual hugs touch cuddles etc? How do you deal with it?
This is Incredibly Tender
Today I said to my coworker
"remember that time we hugged in a trailer and then never talked about it?"
He said he did. He was having a rough time and needed to cry on a shoulder of a friend.
I asked if we could do that again, and he agreed.
I told him it's just fu**ing hard, he told me he knows but it will get better.
I think he might be one of my best friends and I didn't even realize it.
A Heavy Secret
My love language is physical touch and I try hard not to get starved. School breaks are easier because I'm home with family. When I'm at school or with friends I wish I could just know how they feel about physical contact. I'm always ready to give someone a big hug. Sit as close to me as you want. My heart breaks thinking about people who so desperately need a hug. I wish it was more acceptable for us to just ask and give.
All the Small Touches We Take for Granted
I was widowed nearly two years ago. I miss things like holding hands to help my husband cross the road, cutting his hair. The normal sort of things that you don't think about at the time. I cuddle my cat but it's nothing near the same even though it's nice. So I don't know how to cope really. Not helpful, I am 😐 sorry
Industrial Cuddlin'
I attended my first "cuddle therapist" yesterday. I was a little nervous about it at first. It was $100 an hour and I saw her for 2 hours.
I've been to massage therapists before. It was either a massage or this.
I paid a partial deposit. I found her on a cuddle website where she had gotten good reviews.
Yes, she was attractive. I already agreed to the guidelines when I made the booking. No bikini area touching. Wearing a t-shirt and shorts at a minimum (no 'just underwear'). Nothing sexual. No kissing.
I was worried about how I would feel afterwards. Would I feel lonely like when i do after having an orgasm? Or would I get attached to her?
She was wonderful. She gave great hugs and made me feel very comfortable. I had gone to her place and it was very cozy. She fit nicely into my arms. She had a great touch and her nails on my body felt nice. We traded spoon positions and other variations. We held hands. We talked and had a few things in common (we even went to college in the same city but at different times).
Fur Goes Far
I suppose so, but it isn't extreme. Having a pet to cuddle with was helpful when I was living alone. My suggestion would be to get a dog or cat. Obviously the dog would probably be easier to cuddle with, but cats are super comforting too. Cats will just get overstimulated a lot quicker than a dog.
Volunteer at an animal shelter! The animals there are probably more touch starved than you!!
Seems Simple Enough
nope, I have a beagle.
Beagle owners will understand.
For those suffering from it get a beagle.
This One is Just Very Very Sad
When you haven't had something for so long that you start to forget what it is then you are not even properly aware of it. You just feel that there is something missing constantly day to day and you learn to deal with it by distracting yourself with other things. It's when you remember exactly what you are missing that it gets properly bad. But you deal with it. You do what you do with everything else that you want or need but don't have. You take that feeling and bury it deep inside so that you can pretend it was never there.
What are Friends For!
I hug all my friends. Constantly.
They need physical love and validation too, so it's a win for everyone.
So That's Why They Do That
This is a well known phenomenon among many elderly who live alone. Many people don't like giving them casual touches because they feel the elderly are icky somehow. But the elderly are people, too.
Ever talked to an elderly person you didn't know before and they put their hands on your forearm and talked for what seems like hours?
A Well Timed Injury
I was suffering really badly a few months ago. And then I tore a bunch of muscles in my chest and had to go to the Dr and get physical therapy. Honestly the physical pain was almost worth it. If it gets bad again though I think I might just opt for haircuts, massages, or manicures etc. I don't usually like being touched by someone I don't know very very well, but for some reason a professional setting makes it fine.
Love Languages are Real
Absolutely. My husband and I have very little contact of any kind, so when we do touch, it feels awkward and unnatural. I just... deal with it. It hurts, and I've talked to him about it, but nothing has changed.
Hot Take
Someone gently caressing my back is sooo amazing. Could go for that over sex sometimes
The Search Is On
I love psychical touch. Hugs are amazing, cuddling is amazing. It's hard not knowing who enjoys those as well. I hope I find a partner that enjoys it as much as I do.
Use Denim for Best Results
When I was totally soaked fast by a super heavy rain it had kinda similar feeling to a hug. Maybe hop in the shower dressed?
Some Legitimacy
I just heard about something called cuddle parties on NPR today. They start off with discussing consensual touching and are overseen by a professional entity. A professional cuddler I guess.
A Tatted Up Hug
There are plenty of ways you can pay people to touch you in non sexual ways. Go get your hair cut, especially where they wash your hair and massage your scalp. Go get a massage from one of those Asian massage parlors, a half hour foot massage is usually pretty cheap and in my experience they also do your calves, shoulders, neck, and head as part of it. Another option is going for either a manicure or pedicure (treat yourself, do both) they almost always rub either your hands or your feet when they do it.
If you are feeling shy, insecure, or like that stuff isn't for your gender, just remember that a 300pb tattooed up dude on the internet said it's okay
