Chosen family is family. Sometimes they are the closest and most important family. Just because you share blood with someone, doesn't mean you have to form a bond.
That's why best friends are so important.
BFFs are forged in many ways. They're there for you in triumph and sorrow. They hold your hand. T
They know where the bodies are buried because they helped bury them. That's why it's so heartbreaking to lose them.
It's just a bitter pill to swallow when it's a relationship you thought was going to be endless.
RedditorFindingDalewanted to hear all the reasons why sometimes we just have to say goodbye to certain people in life, by asking:
How did you lose your best friend?
I've lost a few besties. Some through death. Some through personal growth and some just because it was time. That was an important lesson. Just like lovers, friends also outgrow one another.
I'm Exhausted
I Cant Modern Family GIF by HULUGiphy"I got tired of it being all about her all of the time. I couldn't tell her anything in my life good or bad because she would make it about herself." ~ Wide-Fig-1063
Jake
"He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly."
"He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn't feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake." ~ FormerLurker3
No explanation...
"Best friends since we were 12. Best Man at my wedding when we were 28. Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again. No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered. He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends. Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive." ~ Tionek
Trauma Tales
"I had a weird dynamic to continue because of trauma. We had been friends for most of our lives (26 years) and every conversation was all about her. I was fine with that because she had a traumatic childhood and I knew she wasn't super socially with it. I'm happy to listen when my friends need it."
"Then she just unloaded on me saying I wasn't listening enough to her problems and how I had mistreated her by not asking enough pointed questions about abuse she had suffered as a kid. This was days after a three hour call where she did all the talking and it was mostly about her abuse."
"I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was "do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?" I haven't spoken to her since." ~ keepinitcornmeal
It's Weird
Friends Tv GIFGiphy"His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn't let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart." ~ mycowild
Yeah, beware the partner of a loved one who is trying to trap you in a scandal. They are shady. Take that drama and run fast and far.
Why?
Peering Looking GIF by MOODMANGiphy"No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying." ~ NagromTrebloc
Jared
"It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting. At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it."
"He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead. I couldn't process what he was saying."
"I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner." Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and Benadryl together. It stopped his heart. He died 2 days before his 40th birthday. We were friends since grade school."
"We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle. I miss him every single day." ~ SnooCapers1425
People Reveal The Things That Are Unnecessarily Expensive | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes shelling out the extra cash for better quality is totally worth it. It can cost money to keep replacing cheaper items repeatedly. But some items ar...You First
"Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn't deserve how I was treating her." ~ SuccessfulEggplant82
"Good on you for recognizing the problem you were having. It takes a lot (and I mean a crap ton) for an individual to come to this realization. Most people like to live in denial or fight it. I did the same thing and by the time I realized it, it was to late. I hope your able to get through it." ~ Nakanon85
Oh Well...
"I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed.... It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️." ~ Mr_Nonesuch
"Over the years I have observed in number of friendships that its always me that makes the call. They always are delighted to hear from me. If I organise something they come. They just don't make the effort. I have been best man five times so I don't think that its because the friendships are not valued. I don't know, am I missing something?" ~ Yarray2
She's Gone...
"My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over."
"Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this crap and then leave me to clean up your mess."
"How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I felt like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was." ~ Scarecrowqueen
Far Far Away...
Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here." ~ ClutchCrgo
Dude... no!
"My best friend and best man in my wedding was married before me. I was still in college when he got married. He always talked about how him and his wife were going to have a 3 some. I thought good for you man. Shortly after I got married that changed to him saying he was going to hook up with this chick by himself as his wife kept chickening out."
"Um dude that's now cheating on your wife. He had a kid shortly after that and he was born right around my birthday. My wife was taking me out of town for my birthday and he invited me to his kids birthday party. I declined saying I would be out of town and he stopped talking to me." ~ overide
Too Soon
"She passed away aged 26. Cancer's a *itch. My friend was the best person in the world. Was lucky to have her in my life even if that time was cut short. Sorry to anyone else who's had to deal with the loss of someone to cancer. Here's hoping that one day there will be a cure. Also thanks for the silver. No idea what that actually means but appreciate it nevertheless. (: " ~ Zirafa90
Distance...
stoned the young ones GIFGiphy"Slowly everybody just grew apart." ~ Altruistic-Growth-75
"Basically. Some got jobs after college. Some of us joined the marines, some started their own companies. Some got married and had kids. Here we are in our late 30s and we'd be lucky to hear from any one of us via text." ~ WallSauceMan
League of Legends
"I moved out of our apartment when I got tired of his boyfriend doing nothing but play League of Legends all day long. I was the one paying for the internet and transferred it to my new apartment, and decided not to share the login information so they could use the crappy Xfinity open internet, and apparently that's all it took. From that moment on I was the enemy. I learned my lesson in just how little I was valued in that friendship." ~ kadyrama
"borrow"
"He stole from uh... everyone. He took my money twice, once straight up taking the whole butt wallet too. On another occasion he wanted to "borrow" my Gameboy Color and my extra copy of Pokemon Yellow. Important detail is the quotes around borrow. Moron never brought it back, probably never played it. Supposedly he did crap like this for drugs. But on other occasions he has stolen things just for the hell of it, so who knows. I was not the only victim." ~ TitanicMan
"So help me God"
"Best friend/room mate and I were watching quantum leap (episode "So help me God") when he suddenly jumped up and yelled "OH HECK"! He promptly collapsed and hit the floor. I tried to catch him before he bounced off the coffee table but ended up going down with him. Realized when doing CPR he was dead. Hypertropic cardiomyopathy, a birth defect, his heart exploded basically."
"He had strep for a couple weeks and was struggling with it, this ultimately is what caused his heart to give. When he left the apartment that morning to goto class I remember thinking "Geez he looks horrible, he might die..." Drank for a year solid after that." ~ MagneHalvard
BLUR
Awkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Honestly, they just expected more out of me than I was capable of giving. Just blurred lines and unrealistic expectations." ~ Pimpkin_Pie
RIP RC
"He stayed up all night putting finishing touches on a senior term paper in high school. The deadline for the paper was unforgiving and at least one person missed the deadline every year. Paper was worth 50% of the term grade. He was a smart guy, top 5 in a class of 500."
"Anyway, he didn't show up at school the next day. Around mid day they announced his death due to a traffic accident on his way to school. I'm not sure he was my best friend though he was a very good friend, but I'm pretty sure I was his best friend. Good guy, lousy ending. RIP RC." ~ -Blixx-
One of the natural parts of life... saying goodbye. Or in some cases getting ghosted and forgotten. Either way, chin up.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- People Reveal Why They Don't Talk To Their Best Friends Anymore ›
- People Who Had Sex With Their Best Friend Explain How It ... ›
- Jilted People Reveal Why They Broke Up With Their Best Friend ... ›
- People Break Down What Can Instantly Ruin A Friendship - George Takei ›
As children, when we saw grown-ups behave in certain ways, we more than likely promised ourselves we would never be like them.
That we would never lose our temper at minor things, groan over the slightest ache in our bodies, or choose work over fun.
However, when adulthood creeps up on us, certain things about the person you become you have little to no control over.
As a result, you might find yourself screaming at children for being too noisy or going to bed at 9:15 instead of seeing a midnight screening of your favorite movie and realizing that you have become the very thing you've been trying to avoid your entire life.
Redditor UglyLikeCaillou was curious to hear what type of person the Reddit community ended up becoming, despite vowing they wouldn't, leading them to ask:
"What type of person did you swear to never turn into growing up, but did anyway?"
Letting It Out Can Ease The Pain...
"The one that makes noises when I get up off the floor."- tutohooto
The Wise Know The Vital Importance Of Being Silly
"I swore I’d never stop being goofy."
"That I’d always try to find the positive and wouldn’t give up hope."
"But then life happened."
"It’s hard staying an emotionally sensitive and caring person when so many people are just plain mean."- Lucky_Garbage5537
It's Possible, Even In A Room Full Of People...
"I never thought I would grow up to be so lonely, but here I am."- oldbaldgrumpy
Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphyTemper Temper...
"An angry person."
"Life and people are just too much all the time."-Jumpy-Air-3385
Some Call It Frugal, Others Call It Cheap....
"The kind that put something back cause the store brand was 20 cents cheaper."- penndelnj
A Far Too Common Occurrence
"I never thought I'd live paycheck to paycheck by my age."
"I thought I'd be on my way to being financially independent by now, in fact."
"It's always been my goal, I was willing to work so hard from such a young age and never scared to make sacrifices but unfortunately my people-reader is skewed and all I ever really got was taken advantage of."
"It's not too late, I'm smarter now and I'll get there."- FriendCountZero
2 Chainz Pockets GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphyWorking Hard For The Money...
"A corporate slave."- lapdanze
"My dad was an engineer and I vowed to never be like him in any way."
"Growing up, I always said over my dead body would i become a corporate slave chained to a desk."
"Guess who is a desk jockey engineer now."- Lame_usernames_left
Watch Your Mouth!
"If my child self met my adult self, he’d tell me that I shouldn’t say so many bad words."- BarthRevan
The Apple Doesn't Fall Very Far From The Tree...
"My dad."- PolarBearChuck
"The most relatable one, nobody wants to become their parents, it’s horrible (unless you have good parents)."- Fine-Macaroon-3202
season 2 episode 6 GIFGiphyThe Comfort Of Your Own Home...
"A homebody."
"In my early 20’s I would never miss an opportunity to go out on Thurs, Friday, or Sat night and couldn’t understand why my parents would ‘waste’ a perfectly good weekend night, just to stay home."
"Now I get it. MAN, do I get it."
Derogatory Term, Or Term Of Endearment?
"I remember learning what a nerd was and thinking 'thank God I'm not a nerd' as I went home from school to play Pokemon Emerald and talk on Pokemon message boards about the upcoming Diamond and Pearl games."- hectoByte
Early To Bed, Early To Rise
"The dad that gets up at 4:30 am to exercise, and is ready for bed by 9 pm."- GreyPilgrim1973
Work Out Pain GIF by I Want You Back MovieGiphyBeauty Comes In All Sizes...
"Overweight."
"Not super big, but not skinny anymore."- hoosierhiver
One Can Indeed Be The Loneliest Number...
"Crotchety, single old lady."
"I'm only sometimes crotchety, but I'm almost fifty and still single!"- GimmeUrNachos
Love What You Do! If You Can...
"An office drone."
"Redditing as we speak to avoid looking at yet another ghastly eyesore of a spreadsheet.'
"Why have we done this to ourselves as a civilization?"- onemanmelee
Still Waiting Office Tv GIF by The OfficeGiphyGrowing up can be scary, hence why we always promise ourselves we won't turn out a certain way.
Even so, some things about the type of person we grow up to be are completely out of our control.
And rather than bemoan our current situation, it's always best to embrace it and enjoy the precious time we have on Earth with our family and friends.
And maybe cut our parents a little slack for the behavior we judged them so harshly on as children...