Hotel Staff Reveal The Most Memorable Thing They’ve Ever Seen In A Guest’s Room
Oh the things people will rent a room for....
Working in the hotel business is never going to be boring, that is a given you know going in. How could it be? You are inundated with people from all parts of the world and all walks of life. Everyday will probably never be the same twice. And the things some staff discover. The men and women of the hospitality world could write a soap opera than wold be stranger than fiction. Heck just staying in hotels has left me shooketh!
Redittor u/ghst0 wanted the hospitality staff out there to tell us a few tales by asking.... Hotel staff of Reddit, what was the most memorable thing you saw in guests room?
You Better Werk!
Had a man that would stay with us every month or two for a single night. Probably mid-50s, short, unassuming, casual suit, about as bland and unnoticeable as possible. Would show up around 7 o'clock with luggage and alcohol, check in, and not come down until checkout. One night he called down because his TV wasn't working and when he opened his door he was in full drag; dress, pantyhose, make-up, wig, but still spoke in his normal voice and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. Mentioned it to the manager in the morning and it turns out he'd been doing it for years, just coming to the hotel, dressing in drag, getting drunk and watching TV by himself. No visitors, no phone calls, never left the room. kentonk
Salad is LIFE!
As the owner of a bed and breakfast place for the last 8 years the craziest thing i ever found was an old battered notebook with "Why i love salad" written on the front and then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing. There'd be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense. Looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years. BestShelter
The Clean Up....
I had to clean up a room after a pimp got kicked out, so all their stuff was still in there and the room was completely trashed. The T.V. was smashed, chairs/table flipped and tossed, Someone threw a bottle of lotion against a wall, and the whole room was covered motivational notes like "Get That Dough" or "[Hooker name], the Bread Winner." There was also a vibrating adult toy, a smashed iphone, and some pants toting the line between really short shorts and a denim thong.
I learned a lot about the fine art of hookery after the experience like how much perfume they use to keep the room from smelling like disapproving headshakes from Jesus. Or how they use literal gallons of mouth wash and a ton of disposable toothbrushes (they must be training to become dentists).
Overall I think it was a good lesson into my career options if the whole hotel thing doesn't work out. AllergicToStabWounds
The List is Endless....
Well....
-checked empty room left with doors wide open, on table was brown bag with over $20,000 cash.
-tried to wake a guy up to checkout, but he was dead.
-basketball team used a toilet for communal poops, no flushing. All weekend. The entire toilet was encased in a mountain of poop. They must have had to stand on the ledge of the sink and lean over. Or straddle one foot on the bathtub and somehow not fall into it. It took devotion. Horrible and wtf at the same time. Woebegone67
Happiness in the bathroom....
I was visiting my mother's old college friend at a hotel in Jacksonville, Florida. My mom didn't say why we were going to go visit her in her hotel room of all places. Well, when we get to her room I immediately noticed the air conditioner was turned all the way down and there were towels all over the floor. We walk in and she just grins and says "look in the bathroom." Well... as soon as we walked in we noticed 6 penguins hopping in and out of the tub filled with ice. She worked for Sea World and apparently when they travel with the penguins, they hang out in the rooms with them was awesome. arangus
Join us?
I was once delivering a food service tray to a young couple. After knocking and hearing "come in" I tried to fish the keys out of my pocket but just couldn't wrestle the tray etc. So I called out that I couldn't open the door.
The lady came to the door and tried to open it just a crack but again we couldn't get the tray through the small opening. "F**k this!" she says and throws the door open. I was literally shocked because 1. She looked like a Victoria secret model and was wearing a really nice matching bra and French knicker set (purple with white lace in case you're wondering) and 2. Her boyfriend was coming out of the shower in his towel, dripping wet looking like some kind of superhero caught between cases.
All three of us laughed it off but I'll never forget how both looked so shocked and yet were the hottest real life couple I've seen ever since. IGiveBagAdvice
Room 405.
I used to work as a chambermaid in a hotel and 1 day my supervisor told me to inspect room 405 because a colleague was doing her rounds and hadn't returned.
I entered said room quietly and walked in on another maid having sex with the hotel Jr manager. She was mid 20s and he was 50 something.
They didn't see me, I quietly exited and pretended I didn't see anything. I returned to my supervisor and said the room was empty as I didn't want to get involved. wannabebunny23
The Stench....
I used to work in a hotel as a summer job and was the first one to enter a room when a guest had left. This hotel had some very expensive rooms. One day I was greeted with a disgusting smell while entering one of the expensive rooms.
The bath was flooded, the shower was used as a toilet, leftover food was scattered on the carpet. The best part was a trashbag full of human waste next to the bed. Closed the door and rang my boss.
The hotel had to completely renovate the whole room and the guest was charged a not so small amount of money (don't remember how much exactly.) This was the worst case that I came across but it happens more often then you think. Marverus
Lady Parts...
Worked at a high end resort with private homes, cabins, and a few general lodging buildings. One of the general buildings had 11 rooms and a common area on the first floor with a TV, fireplaces, etc. One of the private owners was staying in one of the rooms (think he home was being worked on, but she wanted to use the resort amenities).
She proceeded to get extremely drunk at dinner and go back to her room. It's close to midnight and I'm doing my final rounds before heading home for the night. I walk into the common area of the lodge and find Ms. Private Owner passed out on one of the coaches face down, @ss up in a night gown that was pulled up revealing all her parts.
I called my Night Audit to come help me rouse her and get her back to her room. I didn't want to be the only one there when she woke to avoid any type of harassment blame. We spent about 10 minutes trying to get her awake before she finally came to and let us carry her back to her room/bed. The whole time she was thanking us and asking us to "stay the night with her"wink wink. We refused, got her into bed with a bottle of water and some aspirin on the bedside table. She never mentioned anything to either of us again. Wthermans
The Morgue.
Dead people. Sadly, if you work in this profession, on a long enough timeline, this will happen. MrShkreliRS
Yep you get to be maintenance, housekeeping, coroner, and everything else for $10 an hour with no food or bathroom breaks for 8 hours + SuperHotelWorker2007
"ACTION!"
Not Staff but a guest. I was staying at a Hotel in Tennessee. I think it was a Holiday Inn. This was like 5 years ago. So I was in my room watching TV during the day. I hear what sounds like sex in the room next to mine. It keeps going on for a few hours. There were a number of breaks and stops during it. I could hear the guy asking If she was alright and how she was doing. she was really loud and hamming it up. I eventually put it together, that they were filming a porn. A_Drunk_Monkey
And your name is?
As a guest, weirdest thing that ever happened was that a really cute blonde in a suit walked straight into my room. I was seated naked on the couch talking to my SO and I jumped up in shock. Ensued a really awkward moment.
Apparently she got the wrong room + her key card could open ours (a master key?)... still not sure how this could ever happen. Hotel compensated us with champagne. dw_jb
You're a Doll....
There was this one guy who stayed at least one night every week and he always requested the same room. We thought he was maybe making drug deals or something so we searched the room after he checked out one day.
Turns out he was hiding a blowup doll under the mattresses. We threw it away and he only came back once after that. I kinda felt bad for him. AbohZati
So. Rude.
We had a high school soccer tournament in town for a few days. When I went to clean the room, I was initially very excited because the beds were already made, so I just had to clean the bathroom, vacuum, and take out the trash.
I put my hand on one of the beds while I was getting back up from picking something up off the floor and heard this awful crunch. Pull back the sheet, and there's a layer of potato chips all spread out between the bottom and top sheets.
I had to strip both beds and remake them, and then vacuum again because of how many chips ended up on the floor during that process. I was blessed to not have that room again during their stay, but over the next several days other housekeepers discovered similar incidents involving shaving cream, craft supplies, and silly string. Little animals.
It wasn't the grossest room I ever cleaned by a long stretch, but I feel like its a better story than forgotten anal beads, booze bottles, and the general grossness of people who do their own hair removal in hotel bathrooms. (Honest to God, you'd think an alpaca got drunk in the shower.) MrsMeredith
Roar and Run!
A bear.
First, you gotta understand that a lot needs to happen for this to occur. Our lowest floor, was still about a meter and a half from the ground, and each outside room had a balcony rail. However, a guest had decided to want to unload his motorcycle from his truck and leave the ramp down, so (I'm assuming) he could ride the bike up when he was done.
The guest that was staying in the room had room service, decided to leave the food uncovered and the balcony doors open, and later went to the hotel pool/spa to relax. Upon returning, they had gone to us at reception and said that there was a bear in the room. Puzzled, we quietly approached the room and slowly opened the door. Lo and behold, there was a bear eating room service and making a mess of my afternoon.
We called Parks Canada to deal with it. Guest was not charged a cleaning fee. little_asian_man_89
Snap....
A woman came down to the front office and told me her TV isn't working and it needs to be fixed. I told her I could do it but I would be in her room and if that's fine with her.
She told me to go ahead and left the hotel. I went to her room and walked to the TV. Looking at her bed I saw a ball choker, cuffs and a whip. I was like. Damn girl.... Well I fixed her TV and saw her the next day on check out. explision
I can't breathe!!
Entering the room was like walking into a giant's bladder. The smell of pee - ancient, stale, concentrated pee - was overwhelming, and my first thought was that I was going to find the sheets or carpets soaked, or the toilet overflowing. But despite the smell, there wasn't a drop of urine anywhere, or any visible source for the phantom pee stench.
What there was was noodles. Two empty bags of takeaway from the Wagamama's next door, and all the contents upended into the bed. The white sheets were slick with noodles and duck teriyaki, the smell mingling with the pee-miasma that filled the room.
As I gingerly pulled the noodle-soaked sheets from the bed, a huge, greasy c**k-pump covered in semen rolled out and flopped onto the floor. The bin contained used c**k-rings. I cleaned the room as best I could, and tried my best to cover up the smell with air-fresheners, but nothing could get rid of the smell. The room was offline for days, just trying to air out the stink. CelestialMollusc
Meow....
Cats. Cats everywhere. And a $100 tip with a not that said, "thanks for taking care of these guys, be back in a week."
She didn't come back. Flapdoodle65
You're Hilarious. Not.
My buddies and I created such a scenario once. We had just finished up the Marine Corps Ball in Vegas and our buddy was still passed out drunk when we went to check on him. So we rolled him up in every sheet and blanket we could find so the cleaning staff would stumble across him then waited in the room next door. Sure enough, the cleaning lady shows up and unearths a 6'4" 245 pound Marine much to both of their surprise. He screamed like a girl and she started swearing at him in Spanish. It was hilarious. Vict0r117
16? That's Ambitious!
Not me, but my wife worked for a well known hotel chain. She had a call to send up 12 bottles of champagne to one of the high end suites. She walked in to Mike Tyson with 16 scantily clad Asian escorts. callingacrab
Not much good can come from dwelling on the past.
Even so, no matter how hard we try to avoid doing so, we can't help but look back on things we've done in our lives which we regret.
In some cases, it's nothing which had any sort of lasting effect, like wishing we thought more carefully about where we had a birthday or spending more than we could afford on an outfit that didn't end up paying off.
In sadder cases though, we often wonder what our lives might have been like if he had made a different, and smarter decision.
If we didn't say certain things to certain people, not spoken up when someone needed us to or rushed too hastily into a life we weren't ready for.
"What is one thing you regret doing in life?"
Giving People Attention Who Didn't Deserve It
"Wasting time worrying about people that never spared me a single thought."- Eborys
Getting In With The Wrong Crowd
"I regret making friends with people who I knew were bad for me just because it was easier than becoming friends with good people."
"Now I don't have many solid friends."- misswallflowerr
Staying In, When They Should Have Gotten Out
"Not ending bad/unhealthy/unfulfilling relationships sooner."- Superseriouslyguys
"Hanging on to a relationship for too long."
"I should have up and disappeared the first time he was disrespectful."- Mirrorflute88
Not Taking Enough Risks
"Not putting myself out there enough."
"I probably missed out on a lot of opportunities because I'm so self-conscious."
"Working on this though!"- Fife_Flyer
"Not following my dreams and ended up sitting behind a desk for 30 years."
"Of course, I'm currently on Reddit sitting behind my desk."
"So, there's that."- CatOnTheHill
"Overthinking my way out of potentially rewarding choices."- mmmmike1590
Rushing Into Things
"Going to college before I had the slightest idea what I wanted to do with my life."- Mysterious_Shake2894
Taking Things For Granted
"Not spending more time with my mom."
"I visited her 2-3 times a week but still, there were other times she'd call and I'd ignore the call or tell her I didn't have time to talk."
"Would give anything to go back and take every one of those calls."- Fruitjustlistens
Putting Their Health At Risk
"Most of 2019–addiction bottom."
"Sober now for 432 days and counting."- CommunicationTop5231
"Smoking."
"20 years spent on expensive, self-fed poison."
"Biggest regret of my life, by far."- Itsprobablysarcasm
Undervaluing Self-Worth
"Mentally exhausting myself at work for companies that turned out to not give a sh*t about me or value my work."- fpuni107
"Being too nice to tell undeserving people to f*ck off when I should've been putting myself first."
"Lessons learned."- MrsHppy
Not Having Enough Fun
"So, this is gonna sound kinda dumb, but I kinda wish I had acted out a bit more."
"Taken more risks, gotten in trouble more, explored and pushed my boundaries."
"I was pretty sheltered growing up and really wanted to be this good person."
"It created a lot of conflicting feelings for me."
"It also contributed to me avoiding doing some stuff cause I thought it'd be bad for me."
"Now that I'm older and worked through some of those issues, I feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff other people got in their teens and 20s."
"I'm now at a point where I'm exploring that, but most people my age have already gone through it."
"I just feel like I'm trying to 'catch up' with everybody."- animewhitewolf
It's only human to look back on things we regret, or wish we had done differently.
But living in the past will only keep us in the past.
The only way to move forward and make progress is to accept the present for what it is: a present.
Serving in the military is not for the faint of heart.
There are so many dangerous aspects to the job.
When people discuss it, we think about war and the sacrifice people make with their lives.
But there is a ton of scandal involved with the military.
Over the years, so much information has leaked about bad behavior and just everyday nonsense.
Just because a person becomes a soldier doesn't mean they're perfect.
Redditor AdRealistic03 wanted to discuss the shocking things we've all learned about our armed forces, so they asked:
"What are some NSFW secrets about the military?"
The military is littered with secrets, and I love secrets. Tell me more...
Hey Girl
"Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard:"
"'Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet.'"
Tak_Jaehon
Baby Guards
"Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers."
it_helper
"Navy is the same. The guy that Naruto runs to the galley is the same one that stands watch over the nuclear reactor."
satanyourdarklord
"Lowest ranks pull guard duties more often."
"Who's the lowest rank? That baby faced 18 year old who just joined up."
"Guard duties are up there as one of the most bone taskings going."
Daewoo40
The Side Hustle
"Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from."
Lazy-Plum-19
"I was our unit's drug test guy. I smoked weed every day because I obviously would not drug test myself. I was also really good at it so they wouldn't give the job to someone else. I could get our tests done and completed without mistakes in like 1/5 of the time of my predecessor. Didn't sell drugs, but I've given plenty away."
Changnesia_survivor
Oh My
"Swingers exist on every single base in the world, in Sigonella, they would use different boxes of detergent in the windows to show what they were into and what age range they were looking for. Patrolling the housing area became much more interesting when you see who lives in the houses and what they’re into."
catfartzz
Multi-Purpose
"The food boxes that come in literally say 'For prison and military use only.'"
BlackLotus8888
"My husband was watching a documentary with people in prison and was like hey we have the same blankets on the ship."
PricklyPix
No matter who eats it, it's been said nobody thinks any of that food tastes good.
How many?
"I was selected 6 times in a row to be a urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 penises involuntarily."
Jarhead-Coffee
Bad Intentions
"The number of people who get sick and tired of being in the service who will go out and do some drug or another to get kicked out. During our Iraq/Afghanistan years, you wouldn't believe how many people would purposely pee hot or, females would intentionally get pregnant to get out of going."
Blackhawk-388
Not Sexy
"A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly well, you can’t inspect everything, so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare into your anus to check you for ticks in there. Not very glamorous."
Litenpes
Health Issues
"Looooooottttts of chlamydia."
Triatomine
"My unit in Okinawa had the highest STD rate for the island. I was so glad I wasn't a part of any of that."
FightingNymph
Trashed
"Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED."
"I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the s**t off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with sh*t that fish are eating and dying on."
eyehate
Sounds like there is A LOT of fraternization in our Armed services.
Be careful out there.
Things People Learned From Their Parents That They Didn't Realize Were F**ked Up Until Later In Life
It's always nice to think that parents are doing everything they can to raise their children, but as humans, they're all going to make mistakes.
But as many people will discover, their parents also taught them some terrible lessons when they were young.
Redditor timdood3 asked:
"What did your parents teach you as a kid that you didn't realize was actually f**ked up until you were older?"
What Is Self-Love?
"In an effort to teach me to be considerate, or not selfish, I guess, my dad said, 'Love yourself last' more than a few times to me. That’s a mess I’ve been untangling for about 35 years."
- Eauxddeaux
Guard Birds
"My mom told me that, on some buildings, there weren’t guard dogs but rather guard birds. These birds were trained to peck your eyes out if you trespassed. I believed this till I was 16 and have been afraid of birds ever since."
- GudatPickinUsernames
Desensitized
"My grandparents were morticians... I remember sitting on an embalming table, swinging my legs back and forth off the table, while watching my grandfather embalm someone and talk to me about what he was doing. I was seven."
"It's honestly a great memory and the many times I had with him like that taught me a lot about how to deal with death, how life is cherished, how different grief can be from person to person, and how to be emotionally strong for others."
"Good guy... Just was very desensitized to his work's more macabre parts."
"To add to this story, my grandparents were morticians for work, owning their own funeral home, but magicians as a hobby, frequently traveling with and training other magicians."
"When my grandfather passed away, we had a special service just for his magician friends. Some of the most famous magicians in the world showed up for the wand breaking, where my grandfather's wand was broken in two."
- Lord_Blackthorn
The Extensive Scapegoating
"For me, it was after they'd duped a child psychologist. I was in what? Second or third grade?"
"But I realized that they were so good at pretending to be the best people in the world that they could act as if I was the terrible one. They would always find a way to pass me as the monster instead of them."
"It didn't matter who I would have told."
- ThrownToDiscard
"As a former scapegoat child, I can tell you, unequivocally, that you were never the problem. They were the monsters."
- ResultJolly7112
The Truth Behind Child Protective Services
"My mom somehow convinced me that 'child protective services' were the bad guys."
"Finding out (well into adulthood) that they take children away from biological parents' care only as an extreme last resort was a bit of a shocker."
"It also makes me wonder just how much she was doing, that she knew was f**ked up, and I just didn't bother remembering because it had always been that way for me."
- DisposableTires
Don't Be a Burden
"Do not ever be a bother to anyone. Solve all your problems by yourself."
- Soobobaloula
"I feel this one. My parents paired it with 'always be accommodating to others.' Made it so I had very few boundaries and always tried to help others even when I didn't want to, but could never ask or accept help when offered. Not a great mix for the abusive relationships I faced as I got older."
- joyfall
"It really hit me when we were walking on a wide sidewalk. A group approached and my mom shoved me off onto the grass, even though the group had plenty of room. Your own kid gets body-checked so you don’t even have the appearance of slightly inconveniencing strangers."
- Soobobaloula
"My oldest kid asked me once, just out of curiosity, 'How come you always have to hop off the path when people are coming? But they never do?'"
"That hit me like a sack of bricks. That it was that noticeable for my kid to pick up. I never made him move, but I always do. Even now. Hard habit to break."
- ahalfdozen6
Intellectual Awareness
"They made me distrust my own intelligence. They talked down to me and treated me like an airhead, giving me a smirk every time I tried to be serious about anything."
"It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned that I am intelligent and gained self-confidence despite the negative self-esteem they had instilled in me."
- Kelbel2525
Drinking and Driving
"My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like makes sense. I was around four."
- Diggler149
"My dad got me a job when I was 18, so I'd drive in with him. On the way home, he would beeline for the liquor store. He'd drink a half pint and two Budweisers on a 30-minute ride home, three to five times a week. I thought this was just what people did after work on the way home. Crazy."
- dolo_ran6er
Building Credit and Credit Debt
"I was told, 'Don’t get a credit card.'"
"No one ever told me there’s no interest if you pay on time."
"I could’ve built my credit earlier, but they just didn’t want me to spend money I didn’t have and fall into debt with interest."
"Student Loan Debt, however… yeah that was highly encouraged by every adult around me…"
- LetsJerkCircular
"My dad was 'teaching' me about credit cards and said you can just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind, and made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month and he’s drowning in credit card debt."
- lilmrs-t
Grief is Unacceptable
"If you’re sad, that means the devil is inside you and you need to pray for forgiveness."
"I was six, and my cat had just died."
- AngstyRacc00n
Hold Grudges
"After arguing with a girlfriend and not speaking with her for a few days, BOTH my parents told me separately to hold onto my beef with her like a grudge and use it against her later."
"I've been married to the girlfriend now 25 years this year, never once took my parents' advice, and have NO IDEA how my parent's marriage survived, lol (laughing out loud)."
- mcbrian67
"I have a couple in my family like that. Any time I was at their house, without fail, they would be making passive-aggressive comments, sniping at each other, bringing up all sorts of past s**t, etc..."
"As a kid, I never looked forward to going to their place, because it was always incredibly awkward. Yet, they've been married for close to 50 years. It's like bitching at each other nonstop is their love language."
"My mom always said she was so happy the two of them found each other, if for nothing else than that it spared two other innocent people from having to put up with them."
- DisturbedNocturne
Exposure Therapy
"I always had anxiety as a child, and my mother said the only way to get over it is to deal with the situation head-on. Sounds great until I told her my fear of escalators and she pushed me down, and I fell and almost got my hair caught."
"Another thing she loved to teach me is how self-defense is necessary. Great! Where do I take lessons? There were no lessons.. she said being with my abusive ex was enough of a lesson. I should have learned then."
- throwrathebagelway
Debilitating Perfectionism
"My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older and people told me to just 'do my best.'"
"When I was in grade school, I would come to my dad with A’s all super excited. But, if it was anything less than a 100%, he would ask for the missing percentage. So, when I had a 98%, he’d say, 'Well, where’s the 2%?' And now, if I do anything less than perfect, I beat myself up."
- Gremlin-o-Chaos
Make It Make Sense
"I was scolded for pouting, stomping my feet, and being sad. I ended up avoiding all of those when I grew up and became secretive about my emotions. Then, they would get mad at me for not opening up."
- sword_of_gibril
While we all like to think the best of our parents, many people have come to terms with the mistakes their parents made, including the false information they were given.
The problem with so much of this information is how hard it is to unlearn, and how deeply traumatizing it can be to discover we were traumatized.
Some people are not destined to be friends, and some are absolutely not compatible to date.
But sometimes we don't find that out until we're already dating them, and they reveal a belief they have that we feel is completely ridiculous.
Redditor Ghost7579ox asked:
"When did you realize that you’re dating an idiot?"
Issues with Big Brother
"She refused to pay taxes, have a bank account, or pay for public transit."
"She told me, 'I change my name every few years so they can't find me.'"
"Like, she'd go to the GOVERNMENT and change her name. Legally. So the GOVERNMENT couldn't find her."
"We broke up for other reasons, but this was the first red flag."
- GreasyBud
Enough Said.
"She pre-heats the microwave."
- seanm3109
Parenting Fail
"When I mentioned WW1, and she asked if that was why they called WW2 'THE SECOND WORLD WAR?!'"
"She had no idea there was a first one."
"Her parents also taught her that a guy masturbating and a girl having a period were basically the same thing as abortions. No wonder she was one of 11 siblings."
- plattman1992
Not a Guitar Player
"It was in high school, but I got an acoustic guitar to try to learn. I asked my boyfriend who claimed to have played if he could tune it for me."
"This motherf**ker literally turned it all the tight that the f**king bridge ripped off and then acted like it was a piece of junk."
"It was a cheap guitar but he literally wasn't listening for the notes or anything and just turning away and acting shocked, when even I thought that's exactly what would happen not knowing anything about guitars."
- aoi4eg
Just Slow Down
"The cops regularly put a speed camera on a corner near his house. They have been doing it a couple of times a month for as long as he lived there, and he got caught by it many times."
"He was crying to me (literally) about how unfair the latest fine was and he had no money to pay it, I was fed up and told him to just slow down around that corner."
"I could tell from the look on his face he hadn't even considered that, and he got angry with me for not being sensitive enough."
- quokkafarts
Stick It to the Man
"She skipped going to community college classes to 'stick it to the professor'..."
"I had to explain that she had already paid to be there and the professor wouldn't care or notice."
- griffinman01
Just Checking
"The day I told my girlfriend I think I broke my toe and her solution was to yank on it with all her might."
"It was gout."
- jangasaurus
A Dealbreaker
"She was struggling with money and being able to save. I came home one day and she had a new 40k car in the driveway. She purchased it without even discussing it with me."
"She essentially sentenced herself to have no savings for the next five years when we were trying to save to buy a house together."
- AccomplishedScar6582
Gas Leak Roulette
"The night I said that I thought I smelled gas, and they grabbed a lighter and struck it without hesitation."
- Usr_145
Sonic: The Horror Movie
"My ex was scared of hedgehogs and convinced himself they could jump over a six-foot fence like a cat."
- victoria-euphoria
The Knife Tip of Narcissism
"When I asked her to hand me a kitchen knife and she threw it at me (underhanded, but still)… and that’s not even the stupidest part."
"When I tried to explain the basics of handing someone a knife, or pair of scissors, she refused to accept that what she did was wrong or unsafe… It was suddenly apparent that she couldn’t possibly ever admit to being wrong."
- saucytopcheddar
Advertising's Version of 'Groundhog Day'
"An ex thought that commercials were recorded live, and the people on TV were employed to do them over and over again."
- KibblesNBixtch3s
How the Cookie Crumbles
"She worked for a specialty decorated cookie shop at the mall. Like where you get those dinner plate-sized cookies with 'Get Well Soon' or whatever written in frosting."
"She texted me a picture from work, proudly showing me a cookie she had decorated for a customer. She was legitimately excited to show me her creation. I had not previously seen any of her masterpieces prior to this."
"Not only did the artwork look like a three-year-old's finger painting, but it said, 'CONRADULATINS,' which aside from the obviously bad spelling, she had clearly not even planned out the spacing in her head first, so it said, 'CONRADU,' across the whole cookie, and then, in tiny letters up the side, 'latins.'"
" She thought it came out pretty well. She was about 30 at the time."
"I'll be honest, I broke things off shortly afterwards because of that cookie."
- Asleep_Onion
Pyramid Schemes
"After her third 'business opportunity' turned out to be another pyramid scheme."
"We didn't date long but knew each other for a while before that. I liked her for her 'work hard, get paid' attitude. Turns out the hard work she was doing was costing her waaay more than she made, and didn't realize it."
- Aelerious
"I broke down how pyramid schemes work to this one girl who got sucked into them all the time. Throughout my explaining, she said, 'That sounds like MLM,' like three times. After, we sat in silence. Can't see the forest for the trees comes to mind."
- IRealEWannaSay
Inexperienced with... Weather?
"One night he turned to me and said, 'You're a bit of a scientist' (I was taking biology in high school, he was in college for music). 'Can you explain how I can take frozen yogurt from the freezer, put it in the fridge, and it melts?'"
"I, already concerned, replied, 'Well, the fridge is warmer. It's not cold enough to keep it frozen.'"
"He then asked, 'But it's still cold?'"
"And I had to explain that there are different levels of cold?"
"Somewhere along the way, I said, 'Cold is the absence of heat like darkness is the absence of light,' and he was so mindblown by that."
- marceliiine
Not every relationship is meant to work out, but there are some that are more obviously destined to continue than others.
At least in most of these cases, the person was saved some time because of their partner's knowledge.