You Better Werk!

Had a man that would stay with us every month or two for a single night. Probably mid-50s, short, unassuming, casual suit, about as bland and unnoticeable as possible. Would show up around 7 o'clock with luggage and alcohol, check in, and not come down until checkout. One night he called down because his TV wasn't working and when he opened his door he was in full drag; dress, pantyhose, make-up, wig, but still spoke in his normal voice and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. Mentioned it to the manager in the morning and it turns out he'd been doing it for years, just coming to the hotel, dressing in drag, getting drunk and watching TV by himself. No visitors, no phone calls, never left the room. kentonk

Salad is LIFE! 

As the owner of a bed and breakfast place for the last 8 years the craziest thing i ever found was an old battered notebook with "Why i love salad" written on the front and then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing. There'd be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense. Looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years. BestShelter

The Clean Up.... 

I had to clean up a room after a pimp got kicked out, so all their stuff was still in there and the room was completely trashed. The T.V. was smashed, chairs/table flipped and tossed, Someone threw a bottle of lotion against a wall, and the whole room was covered motivational notes like "Get That Dough" or "[Hooker name], the Bread Winner." There was also a vibrating adult toy, a smashed iphone, and some pants toting the line between really short shorts and a denim thong.

I learned a lot about the fine art of hookery after the experience like how much perfume they use to keep the room from smelling like disapproving headshakes from Jesus. Or how they use literal gallons of mouth wash and a ton of disposable toothbrushes (they must be training to become dentists).

Overall I think it was a good lesson into my career options if the whole hotel thing doesn't work out. AllergicToStabWounds

The List is Endless.... 

Well....

-checked empty room left with doors wide open, on table was brown bag with over $20,000 cash.

-tried to wake a guy up to checkout, but he was dead.

-basketball team used a toilet for communal poops, no flushing. All weekend. The entire toilet was encased in a mountain of poop. They must have had to stand on the ledge of the sink and lean over. Or straddle one foot on the bathtub and somehow not fall into it. It took devotion. Horrible and wtf at the same time. Woebegone67

Happiness in the bathroom....

I was visiting my mother's old college friend at a hotel in Jacksonville, Florida. My mom didn't say why we were going to go visit her in her hotel room of all places. Well, when we get to her room I immediately noticed the air conditioner was turned all the way down and there were towels all over the floor. We walk in and she just grins and says "look in the bathroom." Well... as soon as we walked in we noticed 6 penguins hopping in and out of the tub filled with ice. She worked for Sea World and apparently when they travel with the penguins, they hang out in the rooms with them was awesome. arangus

Join us?

I was once delivering a food service tray to a young couple. After knocking and hearing "come in" I tried to fish the keys out of my pocket but just couldn't wrestle the tray etc. So I called out that I couldn't open the door.

The lady came to the door and tried to open it just a crack but again we couldn't get the tray through the small opening. "F**k this!" she says and throws the door open. I was literally shocked because 1. She looked like a Victoria secret model and was wearing a really nice matching bra and French knicker set (purple with white lace in case you're wondering) and 2. Her boyfriend was coming out of the shower in his towel, dripping wet looking like some kind of superhero caught between cases.

All three of us laughed it off but I'll never forget how both looked so shocked and yet were the hottest real life couple I've seen ever since. IGiveBagAdvice

Room 405.

I used to work as a chambermaid in a hotel and 1 day my supervisor told me to inspect room 405 because a colleague was doing her rounds and hadn't returned.

I entered said room quietly and walked in on another maid having sex with the hotel Jr manager. She was mid 20s and he was 50 something.

They didn't see me, I quietly exited and pretended I didn't see anything. I returned to my supervisor and said the room was empty as I didn't want to get involved. wannabebunny23

The Stench....

I used to work in a hotel as a summer job and was the first one to enter a room when a guest had left. This hotel had some very expensive rooms. One day I was greeted with a disgusting smell while entering one of the expensive rooms.

The bath was flooded, the shower was used as a toilet, leftover food was scattered on the carpet. The best part was a trashbag full of human waste next to the bed. Closed the door and rang my boss.

The hotel had to completely renovate the whole room and the guest was charged a not so small amount of money (don't remember how much exactly.) This was the worst case that I came across but it happens more often then you think. Marverus

Lady Parts...

Worked at a high end resort with private homes, cabins, and a few general lodging buildings. One of the general buildings had 11 rooms and a common area on the first floor with a TV, fireplaces, etc. One of the private owners was staying in one of the rooms (think he home was being worked on, but she wanted to use the resort amenities).

She proceeded to get extremely drunk at dinner and go back to her room. It's close to midnight and I'm doing my final rounds before heading home for the night. I walk into the common area of the lodge and find Ms. Private Owner passed out on one of the coaches face down, @ss up in a night gown that was pulled up revealing all her parts.

I called my Night Audit to come help me rouse her and get her back to her room. I didn't want to be the only one there when she woke to avoid any type of harassment blame. We spent about 10 minutes trying to get her awake before she finally came to and let us carry her back to her room/bed. The whole time she was thanking us and asking us to "stay the night with her" wink wink. We refused, got her into bed with a bottle of water and some aspirin on the bedside table. She never mentioned anything to either of us again. Wthermans

The Morgue.

Dead people. Sadly, if you work in this profession, on a long enough timeline, this will happen. MrShkreliRS

Yep you get to be maintenance, housekeeping, coroner, and everything else for $10 an hour with no food or bathroom breaks for 8 hours + SuperHotelWorker2007

"ACTION!"

Not Staff but a guest. I was staying at a Hotel in Tennessee. I think it was a Holiday Inn. This was like 5 years ago. So I was in my room watching TV during the day. I hear what sounds like sex in the room next to mine. It keeps going on for a few hours. There were a number of breaks and stops during it. I could hear the guy asking If she was alright and how she was doing. she was really loud and hamming it up. I eventually put it together, that they were filming a porn. A_Drunk_Monkey

And your name is?

As a guest, weirdest thing that ever happened was that a really cute blonde in a suit walked straight into my room. I was seated naked on the couch talking to my SO and I jumped up in shock. Ensued a really awkward moment.

Apparently she got the wrong room + her key card could open ours (a master key?)... still not sure how this could ever happen. Hotel compensated us with champagne. dw_jb

You're a Doll....

There was this one guy who stayed at least one night every week and he always requested the same room. We thought he was maybe making drug deals or something so we searched the room after he checked out one day.

Turns out he was hiding a blowup doll under the mattresses. We threw it away and he only came back once after that. I kinda felt bad for him. AbohZati

So. Rude.

We had a high school soccer tournament in town for a few days. When I went to clean the room, I was initially very excited because the beds were already made, so I just had to clean the bathroom, vacuum, and take out the trash.

I put my hand on one of the beds while I was getting back up from picking something up off the floor and heard this awful crunch. Pull back the sheet, and there's a layer of potato chips all spread out between the bottom and top sheets.

I had to strip both beds and remake them, and then vacuum again because of how many chips ended up on the floor during that process. I was blessed to not have that room again during their stay, but over the next several days other housekeepers discovered similar incidents involving shaving cream, craft supplies, and silly string. Little animals.

It wasn't the grossest room I ever cleaned by a long stretch, but I feel like its a better story than forgotten anal beads, booze bottles, and the general grossness of people who do their own hair removal in hotel bathrooms. (Honest to God, you'd think an alpaca got drunk in the shower.) MrsMeredith

Roar and Run! 

A bear.

First, you gotta understand that a lot needs to happen for this to occur. Our lowest floor, was still about a meter and a half from the ground, and each outside room had a balcony rail. However, a guest had decided to want to unload his motorcycle from his truck and leave the ramp down, so (I'm assuming) he could ride the bike up when he was done.

The guest that was staying in the room had room service, decided to leave the food uncovered and the balcony doors open, and later went to the hotel pool/spa to relax. Upon returning, they had gone to us at reception and said that there was a bear in the room. Puzzled, we quietly approached the room and slowly opened the door. Lo and behold, there was a bear eating room service and making a mess of my afternoon.

We called Parks Canada to deal with it. Guest was not charged a cleaning fee. little_asian_man_89

Snap....

A woman came down to the front office and told me her TV isn't working and it needs to be fixed. I told her I could do it but I would be in her room and if that's fine with her.

She told me to go ahead and left the hotel. I went to her room and walked to the TV. Looking at her bed I saw a ball choker, cuffs and a whip. I was like. Damn girl.... Well I fixed her TV and saw her the next day on check out. explision

I can't breathe!!

Entering the room was like walking into a giant's bladder. The smell of pee - ancient, stale, concentrated pee - was overwhelming, and my first thought was that I was going to find the sheets or carpets soaked, or the toilet overflowing. But despite the smell, there wasn't a drop of urine anywhere, or any visible source for the phantom pee stench.

What there was was noodles. Two empty bags of takeaway from the Wagamama's next door, and all the contents upended into the bed. The white sheets were slick with noodles and duck teriyaki, the smell mingling with the pee-miasma that filled the room.

As I gingerly pulled the noodle-soaked sheets from the bed, a huge, greasy c**k-pump covered in semen rolled out and flopped onto the floor. The bin contained used c**k-rings. I cleaned the room as best I could, and tried my best to cover up the smell with air-fresheners, but nothing could get rid of the smell. The room was offline for days, just trying to air out the stink. CelestialMollusc

Meow....

Cats. Cats everywhere. And a $100 tip with a not that said, "thanks for taking care of these guys, be back in a week."

She didn't come back. Flapdoodle65

You're Hilarious. Not. 

My buddies and I created such a scenario once. We had just finished up the Marine Corps Ball in Vegas and our buddy was still passed out drunk when we went to check on him. So we rolled him up in every sheet and blanket we could find so the cleaning staff would stumble across him then waited in the room next door. Sure enough, the cleaning lady shows up and unearths a 6'4" 245 pound Marine much to both of their surprise. He screamed like a girl and she started swearing at him in Spanish. It was hilarious. Vict0r117

16? That's Ambitious! 

Not me, but my wife worked for a well known hotel chain. She had a call to send up 12 bottles of champagne to one of the high end suites. She walked in to Mike Tyson with 16 scantily clad Asian escorts. callingacrab

REDDIT