We love horror movies; they get the blood boiling and the heart racing. We're even willing to forgo restful sleep for a good ole fashion jolt. Half the reason we love these films though are because we love to try and figure how we'd best our favorite cinematic forms of evil.
Redditor u/today_okay wanted to know who had the best survival skills from the land of horror by asking.... What horror movie do you think you'd easily survive if you were in it?
Don't Be Stupid!
GiphyThe Strangers. The characters pissed me off the whole time. First of all, DON'T SPLIT UP. Also, TURN ON THE LIGHTS. Then grab the guns, camp out in the middle of the house, and wait for the killers to either leave or come for you, then blow their brains out. sjl1021
Stay Away!
Ma. Just don't go back to the her house! yaggib
Or just don't trust a middle aged random lady and run away before she finds anything about you out. Ch8T0n
If you've got nine bucks, don't blow it all on pizza. hugeposuer
The Water...
Maybe not easily, but if I were in A Quiet Place, I'd live next to that waterfall. ChillyFireball
I bet there are just a bunch of people living near the Niagara Falls, using it a natural sound dampener to hunt the creatures. LTman86
Go Towards the Light.
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.
Those things are six inches tall! All you need is a golf club or hockey stick, and one of those LED headlamps that last 1,000 hours. NeroJoe
This movie scared the living shit out of me. The old man giving up his teeth, and his maid's teeth, as an offering to get his kid back. Messed. Me. Up. I would be fine sleeping with the lights on but I would totally fall for their trap if they took my kid. Mister_IceBlister
Mother Dear.
GiphyI think I could survive Psycho, especially after the first scene with the dude (that he's clearly deranged) and a load of money in my car like she had.
However I would probably die in every scenario of the 'Saw' movies. Dewy_Wanna_Go_There
Don't be an Idiot.
Jeepers Creepers. Idiots decide to investigate someone quite obviously shoving a dead body into a basement, in the middle of nowhere, without calling the police or letting anyone know where they are. AFTER that same creepy
person tried his best to run them off the road. Screw that! Reddit
Take a Brisk Walk.
The Blob.
It's a slow-moving blob that has to touch you to absorb you.
You know where I'm not? Anywhere within 100 miles of wherever this thing. In my car, and gone.
Military, do your thing. Once you drop it off to stay frozen deep in the Atlantic, let me know, I'm sure there'll be new job openings when I come back home. Dunehound
Jump.
The Descent.
"Well those are some well prepared young ladies who look to be off spelunking..." as I drive on by. Blink and you miss me! BartenderOU812
Yeah my policy is to never take up any hobbies they specifically ask you about in your life insurance application, so I'm definitely safe from any horror movie featuring spelunking. Also scuba, mountain climbing and hot air ballooning, just in case anyone ever decides to make a horror movie about any of those things. Yellowbug2001
Be Still.
Predator... as long as I don't pick up a weapon it will leave me alone. Greg_the_cactus
Would the Yatuja kill a disabled person? I'm just thinking of a scenario where my asthmatic butt is scrambling on the forest floor because I dropped my dang glasses. The Predator would be standing nearby probs not even doing anything because my audio-processing problems mean I can't even hear it.
Predator: "I'm sorry, but this would be TOO easy." locomocomotives
Checkout Please....
1408.
"Excuse me, that room's haunted..."
"Cool, thanks for the tip."
I immediately seek a separate hotel. Danyawelly
And then some men with sledgehammers come in and destroy your current environment revealing that you never left 1408. stexski
Blair No!
Blair Witch Project.
We're filming where? Looking for what? Oh ok I'm not coming to that. BinaryBlasphemy
"You're going to spend a weekend in the woods with who? Yeah that guy sucks... all these people suck. This sounds real boring." El_Gran_Redditor
Camping? I'm out. eyeball-beesting
I can't read....
GiphyNot really horror, but The Mummy. I can't read hieroglyphics, so I'd look at the Book of the Dead, go "neat book!" and walk away, so the Mummy would stay asleep. The_Late_Arthur_Dent
Are you kidding? It's a book that's a genuine artifact with cool spooky stuff written inside and it's made of solid gold.
I'd take that with me in a heartbeat. A part of me would want to keep it, but it would be ruthlessly obliterated by the part that wants to sell it. Still wouldn't be able to read it though, the mummy would be someone else's problem. TheVoteMote
On Dry Land Only!
Jaws. Stay on land, problem solved.
Edit: Sharknado isn't a counter point. It's a different movie. Unless you can undeniably prove Sharknado and jaws happen in the same universe at the same time I say to you, "nah." MrRipShitUp
I Decline.
The Invitation. Because I never get invited to anything. cointelpro_shill
That movie was so good. Me and my gf to this day if we are on a weird social situation at someone's house are like are we being invitationed right now. laaerpig
Shoot 1st!
Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's Texas, I'd just find someone with a gun or a gun store and arm up. cryptidhunter101
This easily, like the guy's walking with a chainsaw, he's slow. Also, you're in Texas, so you have a gun. OwenFollington
Red Balloons....
GiphyIt.
I'm not a child. And knowing that something would grow more powerful the more I fear it would probably cause some sort of reaction where I stop fearing it out of spite. The_Rhine
Boo!!
Scream. I hated parties when I was a teenager and when kids started getting knocked off, I'd have gotten the heck out of town and stayed with my Dad. He has guns! AllElse11
This would be me. I'd be at home studying. Although I did live in the woods in a rural area but if ghostface came after me they would just see a stressed out teenager screaming "I have two quizzes and an exam tomorrow! I don't have time to get murdered!!" Themaskedotaku
The Basics....
Anything that starts with someone touching/opening the thing that isn't supposed to be touched/opened.
I'm a basic rule follower. Movie would start with me reading the sign...and end with me walking away after reading the sign. chefjenga
See I thought I was like that. You know "don't touch the obviously alien and potentially lethal object." Easy. But then I saw this cactus in the desert and the spines looked kinda fleshy and soft so I got curious if it was more furry than spiky, and touched it and it hooked into my finger. SquirrelicideScience
Dead Already.
The Sixth Sense. There's literally 0 life threatening parts in it. All the scary people are already dead. Teetothejay13
Not true. Bruce gets shot in the first ten minutes.
*If anyone gets mad about spoilers, the scene literally happens at the beginning of the movie. Plus, you came into a thread in which spoilers are obviously going to be everywhere. Phoequinox
Rules are Rules.
Any one that starts with people ignoring a public warning. I'm a stickler for the rules. Rhyye
Add the news reporting "mass disappearances in the neighborhood next to yours."
Or "People found with their faces cut off and their dicks stuck in their ears."
I'm gonna lock my doors, set up a security cam, and have my firearms easily accessible. ToastyMustache
No Camping.
GiphySleepaway Camp movies, just don't go to camp or call home after one murder has been reported. bubbered_boast
The Lazy Way.
The Purge. Because 99.9% of people would just stay home because they want to live and don't want to kill people. improbable_humanoid
I imagine that if the purge were real, I feel like the real threat would be arson. Fires are easy to cause and burning down houses doesn't necessarily guarantee dead people so it fulfills a destructive urge while giving yourself plausible deniability on whether or not anybody died. GoldFishPony
Samara....
The Ring.
Because I don't own a VCR. Hickspy
Technically Samara adapted to modern tech in the 3rd movie "rings" and honestly I would just stay cool and try to become her friend or something because being so alone must be so hard for her. MendicantBias42
Pinhead.
Hellraiser.
The cenobites, for being interdimensional torture demons, are fairly easily tricked.
They even say "no more of your tricks, I will tear your soul apart." And then they immediately get tricked again.
Also, I have a strict policy of not fucking with anything that shady vietnamese men with dirty fingernails sell me. Zappy golden puzzlebox? Nope, I'll just play my Vidya, thanks. OttoVonJismarck
Thick Air.
The Mist. Literally, because all you had to do, was bunker down and not go the fuck outside till the military showed up.
ANd yes I do not know the military is gonna clean their mess up. However I am home almost all the time, that 10% chance I am outside at the time can be negated.
But the book version? No no no, I would definitely be dead 100%. CommonSenseEludesMe
Be a Sandra....
Birdbox. I stay inside all day. Hypnotwiiist
I think Birdbox would be difficult to survive in because of those fools going around making people look. And maybe just one day slipping up, and that's it! eternalrefuge86
Not Real.
Slenderman
jk he's here now, someone please take care of my cat. carpetghost
Honestly use the enderman tactic from minecraft and hit him with you diamond sword in a small space that he can't reach cuz he's 3 blocks tall. EggronTheGreat
Dawn Down.
Until Dawn, just don't go to the REALLY far away cabin to get laid.
Boom, easy win. the_quiet_whisper
Also, don't "prank" your friend so much she'll run into the woods to die at the beginning of the game. nermid
Hey Mikey!
GiphyHalloween. I'm pretty sure I could out run Michael Myers. Do I get to hear the music? That would increase my survival rate 100%. kellywithayy
Sorry to break it to you but somehow you'll inexplicably trip over nothing multiple times just so that good ol' Mike can catch you while moving at a speed that would suggest he's taking a stroll in a museum. 5-dollar-milkshake
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Anyway...
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
Weight Watchers
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
~ hambone10
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
~ jungl3j1m
waitr
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
~ bravesgeek
GiphyHBO
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
~ stoneman9284
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
~ oreos_in_milk
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"Madness."
~ WoodSheepClayWheat
GiphyUSWest
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
~ Trickycoolj
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
~ ConsciousValence
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
~ CorporalBB
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"Firedog."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
~ Tiberius_Jim
GiphyBritish Petroleum
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
~ RandomAmuserNew
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
~ LurkerOrHydralisk
Amoco
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
~ anitabelle
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
Overstock.com
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
~ WhatsABuckland
Snoop Dogg
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
~ RomanOnARiver
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
~ GotMoFans
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
~ OpanaMan
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
~ GotMoFans
GiphyBooks-A-Million
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
~ lynnyfox
KIA
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
~ vinyalwhl
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
~ VulfSki
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
~ User_Deleted_Content
Mark Chan on Unsplash
Royal Mail
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
~ PonITdude
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
~ ShinyHead0
"Twitter to X."
~ sandiercy
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
~ Safety_Drance
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
~ tommyk1210
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
~ SagittaryX
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
~ Pinksters
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
~ temalyen
GiphyCity Landmarks
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
~ baccus83
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
~ NoVaBurgher
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
~ nonanarchist
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
~ keytarin
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
~ New_Simple_4531
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
~ SheBrokeHerCoccyx
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?