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Honest Woman Opens Up About Unreciprocated Oral Sex, And The Internet Has Feelings

What's Good for the Gander is Also Good for the Goose

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On the subReddit SEX, a user named arsw23 came for advice. She told the forum, "My boyfriend won't go down on me."

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now, and recently, before we were about to have sex I had given him a oral sex and I asked him to go down on me and he said he doesn't like the taste (he's never gone down on me before) and that he just wanted to have intercourse."

"We never do any kind of foreplay... the sex is great, but sometimes I just want something other than sex, which I don't know if that's selfish or not, but it made me feel insecure about myself, especially since he's told me stories about going down on other girls and I don't know why he can't do it for me."

"It's mostly just blowjobs and/or jumping straight into sex. And he does a really good job pleasing me with intercourse, but sometimes I just want focus on just me and I don't know if that's selfish of me to want."

Feelings...

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Needless to say, the internet had feelings on the topic.

While everyone acknowledged that her boyfriend had every right to choose what he did and did not like, they pointed out that so did she.

And she had nothing to feel bad about for wanting her needs met too.

Choices...

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"Well, he doesn't have to go down, but you don't have to date him either."

"I wouldn't."

Turnabout is Fair Play

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"Stop giving him head- when he asks why, tell him you don't like the taste."

He's the One

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"He must be a fan of DJ Khaled."

The artist took a lot of flack after video surfaced where Khaled said that while he demanded all of his needs be met, pleasing a woman wasn't something he was interested in.

"Nahhh. Never!" Khaled replied saying "I don't DO that." But several times he said it wouldn't be okay for a woman to refuse to perform oral sex on a man. According to Khaled, it's because men are kings.

"It's different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the king. There's some things that y'all might not wanna do, but it got to get done. I just can't do what you want me to do. I just can't."

Never Settle

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"Oh honey..."

"Don't settle for less just because you haven't seen better. Love should feel like magic, and sex should leave you with tingles."

"There are guys who would treat you better, and you should expect it."

Boy, Bye

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"Bye bye! Sounds like a selfish dude."

"Not to mention there is etiquette regarding this thing. Even if you DON'T like how a woman tastes, and it happens, goddammit don't say that out loud! It can be horribly traumatic."

Talk it Out

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"That is not selfish. Like 100% not selfish. If you were like 'I only want to be on the receiving end of pleasure' then that would be selfish... which kinda seems where your BF is."

"I saw a post a while back where the BF found giving her pleasure gross and a TURN OFF. I think you need to have a serious conversation about where your bf stands on pleasure --- or possibly what he thinks is pleasureful for you because he may get the impression that intercourse is really good for you?"

Possible Impasse

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"It's fair enough that he's not into it, everyone is allowed to have boundaries. You just have to decide if going without oral is something you're willing to deal with. And no, wanting something more than to give him head and have intercourse is absolutely not selfish."

"If he's not receptive to making sex better for you in any way, you may just be at an impasse. Either put up with what you're getting or move on."

Standard Equipment

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"To quote Dan Savage 'oral should come standard on any relationship model or should promptly be returned to the lot'. Being a good, giving and game partner is what healthy relationships are made of. She should ditch this guy."

It's a Two Way Street

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"I get that he may not enjoy it for certain reasons, so for him to refuse to do it without even trying it once with you is weird. And it would make me self conscious as well, so I don't blame you for feeling that way."

"Sex is a two way road and it's not always about intercourse. He should at least be open to the idea in my opinion."

Red Flags

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"We never do any kind of foreplay"

"That is also a serious problem."

"I don't know if that's selfish or not, but it made me feel insecure about myself"

"No, it's not selfish to want to do something other than just have intercourse."

"especially since he's told me stories about other girls and I don't know why he can't do it for me"

"OK, so unless you've got some powerfully bad communication going on here that could actually be fixed (which doesn't seem likely), you've got a serious problem in this relationship and should just break up so that you can find someone who will pleasure you and he can find someone that's a fit for him."

A Matter of Taste

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"he said he doesn't like the taste"

"Is he under the impression that his semen is vanilla pudding?"

"The better question, is he under the impression that all girls taste the same? Hell, when I was in a committed relationship, my girlfriend tasted different every other day."

The Big O

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Soooo..... I had this issue with a boyfriend.

It's a total deal breaker for me.

Even if he put more effort into our sex, it would have still been a deal breaker.

Variety is the Spice of Life

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You are not selfish for wanting more than just penetrative sex.

Life is Full of Choices

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He is entitled to his preferences but preferences have consequences.

Would be a deal breaker for me.

Products That Are Rarely Used For Their Intended Purposes

Reddit user OfficialDampSquid asked: 'What product is rarely used for its intended purpose?'

There's this ongoing, universal joke that no one reads user's manuals for new items, so often items aren't built or used quite the way they were intended.

But some products, whether there's a user's manual involved or not, will be used for activities that they were in no way designed for.

Redditor OfficialDampSquid asked:

"What product is rarely used for its intended purpose?"

Clothespins

"Clothespins have spent years keeping bags of chips closed in my house, not a minute hanging up clothes."

- jpiro

"Great in the shop as mini clamps, specifically when gluing the linings to acoustic guitars."

- Fluffy-Anything-5528

Free Parking Corner

"The corner that says FREE PARKING on the Monopoly board."

- DanielleAntenucci

"I don’t know one single person who plays that game correctly. It’s insane how house rules caught on and became almost universal."

- Dr_broadnoodle

Cotton Swaps

"I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I use a Q-Tip correctly."

- PM_DEGRADING

"95 percent for cleaning electronics. Five percent for cleaning your ears."

- Fried-Pig-Dogs

Bubble Wrap

"Bubble wrap. It was invented as a wallpaper in the 1950s."

- fuzzysarge

"Just mist down your windows with plain water and the bubble wrap just sticks by itself."

"I didn't know this trick when I had to make a bathroom more private. As a stopgap, I just sprayed the windows with fake Christmas snow."

- RedditZamak

For Surgical Purposes

"K-Y Jelly was originally developed as a surgical lubricant."

- JiveChicken00

Fixes Everything

"Duct tape. Works on everything but ducts. (They make a special tape for that, and it’s not called duct tape.)"

- ImpliedSlashS

From War to Screen Doors

"WD-40 was originally created to stop nuclear missiles from rusting."

- ShoopufJockey

Great for Kids Crafts

"I want to say pool noodles. I see a new craft for them weekly and rarely see them actually in a pool."

- gigieileen

Baking Powder Uses

"Not 'rarely used' per se, but the amount of baking powder not used for baking things is quite high."

- DayOk6350

"You can use it to instantly set super glue and create a stronger bond that is as hard as plastic and nowhere near as brittle as a regular superglue bonding."

- Happy-Personality-23

The Question Is In the Name

"Glove compartment in a car. Who actually has gloves in them? I think they are a throwback to when people had driving gloves."

- Urbanredneck2

Yardstick Purpose

"Yardsticks."

- procrastinatorsuprem

"When I was in school, all the teacher ever used it for was to smack the chalkboard to get everybody's attention when the class was acting up."

- Rich_handsome

"We use it to push the button on the smoke alarm, get spider webs on the ceiling, and every once in a while measure how deep a snow storm is."

- procrastinatorsuprem

Treadmill... Closets

"Treadmills at home."

"Or any exercising equipment at home... ends up being a clothes holder."

- shubidoobie

Mouths Instead

"Listerine was originally sold as a floor cleaner."

- mtgkajhit

"Listerine was one of those products which was marketed to do literally anything to do with clearing."

"It was also used as a medical antiseptic during surgery."

- Woffingshire

Great for Crafts

"Pipe cleaners."

"Does that count if they’re called “chenille stems”, brightly colored, and for sale alongside kids’ craft supplies?"

"Because if that does count, so should Play-Doh. It was originally invented to clean wallpaper, but once kids started playing with it (it had been nontoxic from the beginning IIRC) they changed the marketing and sold it in lots of colors."

- DBSeamZ

Cell Phones

"Mobile phones, used for anything, except for making phone calls."

- FatCat_85

"Mobile phones are used for their intended purposes, but that purpose has just changed over time."

- Reddit

These products are all a great example of how products can have multiple purposes, which technically means we can have fewer items in our homes, which means fewer things to clean!

And if cleaning the floor is a concern, apparently we can use the Listerine... while brushing our teeth. Who knew?

Stacked burger
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The food industry is highly competitive with restaurants duking it out to stay relevant.

They do this by presenting diners a spin or a gimmick on classic entrees.

While some eateries succeed by a wide margin, many fail by coming up with bizarre dishes that may seem inventive but fall flat on the palate.

This just goes to show that you shouldn't mess with what already works. But playing it safe is just bad for business, though. Right?

Well, customers chimed in when RedditorFremblem_Feldsher asked:

"What is the most overrated dish in the world?"

Some people thought gourmet burgers were all hype and in bad taste.

Bigger Isn't Better

"'Gourmet' burgers. You pay top dollar and get a burger that's difficult to eat (stacked to high and falls apart) and where there's so much attention to toppings you can hardly taste the beef and cheese."

"Anything made with truffle oil gets an honorable mention."

– Treantmonk

Too Many Toppings

"$18, tall, stacked, giant burgers slathered in fifteen different condiments and toppings. They're hard to eat and usually not as good as a simple burger."

– hiro111

"Burgers should be wider not taller. I don't want to take a single bite only to lose half the toppings from the other side."

– ProphetOfPhil

Not Lovin' It

"Knife and fork burgers are bullsh*t. I hate the feeling of having to rush through eating my burger because my hands and gave are slathered in sauce."

"If it's stacked and/or messy af, it's not a good burger, even if it tastes good. It's some kind of knife and fork entree but definitely not a burger."

– FictionalContext

Sometimes people want something sweet without going over the top.

Identity Crisis

"It’s not a dish, but those milkshakes that you see that have chocolate all over the glass and a giant piece of cake on top. Ruins the milkshake with the crumbs mixing into it, and honestly could of put the cake on a plate and let us eat it normally".

– Meckles94

Dough-Not Want It

"Donuts from places known for 'cRaZy' donuts. The most 'extreme' donuts I’ve ever had were the most mediocre. They tasted like somebody put stale cereal on top of grocery store donuts."

– cppadam

Behind The Scenes

"I work with a guy whose wife runs her own bakery. He told me that most of the places selling donuts these days don't actually make their own donuts. They buy pre-made dough that is uncooked. Then the places doctor them up. Hence, the stale cereal on grocery store donuts taste. It's because that's exactly what they are."

"Apparently, making multiple types of all homemade donuts is a lot of work. I go to a Mennonite bakery at a farmers market who make all of their own stuff, dough and all. They are legit working from before they open until after they close."

– qotsa_gibs

A Big Twist...And Not The Glazed Kind

"There's a place in Niagara Falls called Country Fresh Donuts and they've got some of the best donuts I've ever had. Their long johns are the stars of the show, but their other donuts are also super good."

"Big twist? They excel at wonton soup. Anyone who goes there goes for the soup first, donuts later. It helps that they're open 24 hours a day (or, they were at one point). 3am wonton soup and a donut is mana from heaven."

– SimonCallahan

Mini Cakes

"Cupcakes during their 2009-2014 reign of terror."

– JonathanWattsAuthor

"With the icing piled so high it would go up your nose"

– Live_Reindeer7833

Not everyone fancies a fancy meal.

History Of Lobster

"Lobsters used to be peasant food - they literally fed it to prisoners. It's weird how things change, but like most things it just comes down to supply and demand."

"Lobster is quite hard to farm so, although it's not a hard-to-come-by food unless you're very far from the sea, there is still a bit more effort required in producing them. Couple that with their image as a 'luxury' seafood, which increases demand, and you get high prices."

– fantalemon

Not Worth The Hype

"Any steak from Salt Bae’s restaurants."

– WishboneCrazy9289

"Controversial but I think steak in general is overrated. I love steak and have some really good servings in nice places but I still think it isn’t as good as people go on about."

– itsyaboigreg

How Posh

"Expensive food with gold shavings. What's that about? Do you eat it to feel rich and powerful or something? I'm sure gold doesn't taste very good and is not normally supposed to be eaten."

– thegreatc*msl*t

"You can buy the gold foil on its own and it's cheaper than you'd expect (still expensive)"

"After trying on on its own, I can say gold is one of the lower ranking metals that I've tasted. Silver, stainless steel, and titanium all taste better. I'd put gold in the same tier as copper, above aluminum."

"Edit: to explain how I know this, someone asked me for advice on different types of silverware and I had to try it out myself before recommending anything. The copper is an exception as that was a dare."

– Notbbupdate

I see the appeal for Instagramming food, but if the beautiful food items photographed in portrait mode are making me salivate, they better deliver on my taste buds.

I actually patronized a diner that advertised an amazing pancake dish that had caramel sauce with crushed pecan and whipped cream. The idea looked better on paper.

When I order the breakfast delight in question, it looked nothing like how it was pictured. It was flat, messy, and undesirable.

And of course it tasted horrible. I was a sucker for that damn Instagram post.

Sometimes food is all hype. That's the worst kind, especially if you're a sucker like me and you fall for it.

As children, when we saw grown-ups behave in certain ways, we more than likely promised ourselves we would never be like them.

That we would never lose our temper at minor things, groan over the slightest ache in our bodies, or choose work over fun.

However, when adulthood creeps up on us, certain things about the person you become you have little to no control over.

As a result, you might find yourself screaming at children for being too noisy or going to bed at 9:15 instead of seeing a midnight screening of your favorite movie and realizing that you have become the very thing you've been trying to avoid your entire life.

Redditor UglyLikeCaillou was curious to hear what type of person the Reddit community ended up becoming, despite vowing they wouldn't, leading them to ask:

"What type of person did you swear to never turn into growing up, but did anyway?"

Letting It Out Can Ease The Pain...

"The one that makes noises when I get up off the floor."- tutohooto

The Wise Know The Vital Importance Of Being Silly

"I swore I’d never stop being goofy."

"That I’d always try to find the positive and wouldn’t give up hope."

"But then life happened."

"It’s hard staying an emotionally sensitive and caring person when so many people are just plain mean."- Lucky_Garbage5537

It's Possible, Even In A Room Full Of People...

"I never thought I would grow up to be so lonely, but here I am."- oldbaldgrumpy

Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy

Temper Temper...

"An angry person."

"Life and people are just too much all the time."-Jumpy-Air-3385

Some Call It Frugal, Others Call It Cheap....

"The kind that put something back cause the store brand was 20 cents cheaper."- penndelnj

A Far Too Common Occurrence

"I never thought I'd live paycheck to paycheck by my age."

"I thought I'd be on my way to being financially independent by now, in fact."

"It's always been my goal, I was willing to work so hard from such a young age and never scared to make sacrifices but unfortunately my people-reader is skewed and all I ever really got was taken advantage of."

"It's not too late, I'm smarter now and I'll get there."- FriendCountZero

2 Chainz Pockets GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy

Working Hard For The Money...

"A corporate slave."- lapdanze

"My dad was an engineer and I vowed to never be like him in any way."

"Growing up, I always said over my dead body would i become a corporate slave chained to a desk."

"Guess who is a desk jockey engineer now."- Lame_usernames_left

Watch Your Mouth!

"If my child self met my adult self, he’d tell me that I shouldn’t say so many bad words."- BarthRevan

The Apple Doesn't Fall Very Far From The Tree...

"My dad."- PolarBearChuck

"The most relatable one, nobody wants to become their parents, it’s horrible (unless you have good parents)."- Fine-Macaroon-3202

season 2 episode 6 GIFGiphy

The Comfort Of Your Own Home...

"A homebody."

"In my early 20’s I would never miss an opportunity to go out on Thurs, Friday, or Sat night and couldn’t understand why my parents would ‘waste’ a perfectly good weekend night, just to stay home."

"Now I get it. MAN, do I get it."

Derogatory Term, Or Term Of Endearment?

"I remember learning what a nerd was and thinking 'thank God I'm not a nerd' as I went home from school to play Pokemon Emerald and talk on Pokemon message boards about the upcoming Diamond and Pearl games."- hectoByte

Early To Bed, Early To Rise

"The dad that gets up at 4:30 am to exercise, and is ready for bed by 9 pm."- GreyPilgrim1973

Work Out Pain GIF by I Want You Back MovieGiphy

Beauty Comes In All Sizes...

"Overweight."

"Not super big, but not skinny anymore."- hoosierhiver

One Can Indeed Be The Loneliest Number...

"Crotchety, single old lady."

"I'm only sometimes crotchety, but I'm almost fifty and still single!"- GimmeUrNachos

Love What You Do! If You Can...

"An office drone."

"Redditing as we speak to avoid looking at yet another ghastly eyesore of a spreadsheet.'

"Why have we done this to ourselves as a civilization?"- onemanmelee

Still Waiting Office Tv GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Growing up can be scary, hence why we always promise ourselves we won't turn out a certain way.

Even so, some things about the type of person we grow up to be are completely out of our control.

And rather than bemoan our current situation, it's always best to embrace it and enjoy the precious time we have on Earth with our family and friends.

And maybe cut our parents a little slack for the behavior we judged them so harshly on as children...

My aunt and her ex-fiance were often hailed as the gold standard by my family when it came to romantic relationships. They were perfect for one another and had the healthiest relationship most of us had ever seen. My cousins and I all hoped to emulate their relationship someday.

Then, the marriage we'd all been looking forward to was called off.

Why? My aunt liked to hang toilet paper "over" (which is the right way), and her ex-fiance liked to hang toilet paper "under." When her ex-fiance replaced the toilet paper, my aunt would be annoyed that the toilet paper was hung under, and would complain, but that's where it ended.

When my aunt replaced the toilet paper, her ex-fiance would go so far as to change the position of the toilet paper every time he used their bathroom, and she couldn't take it anymore.

My cousins were so confused. That seemed like a ridiculous reason to call off a wedding. Being a few years older than most of them, I knew realistically, their issues were less about toilet paper and more about the fact my aunt's ex wasn't willing to compromise. However, the party line was that the wedding was called off because of the toilet paper, and to this day, we still tease my aunt about it (who, by the way, found another man, and has been happily married to him for 12 years).

Redditors know people who have called off their own weddings for absurd reasons and are eager to share the stories.

It all started when Redditor AnuragSlNGH asked:

"What's the most absurd reason you've heard of someone cancelling their marriage?"

Prophecy

"One of my friends was engaged and is Catholic. Her husband had to convert and he had a dream where he was in a Catholic Church but not getting married, he was a priest. So he had a vision of becoming a priest and now the wedding is off."

– Southern-Pay9792

All About The Money

"I was going to be a guest at a wedding and found out it was canceled 2 weeks before the date. The bride found out that the groom had gotten a significant discount on the price of the venue and she was insanely angry that anything at her wedding cost less than premium."

"Keep in mind, this was her dream venue that she had chosen. She was just mad that her fiancé was “cheap”. Or something."

"I was never super close to either of them, but the last I heard they never ended up getting married."

– NotSureWhatThePlanIs

"Guy dodged a bullet there."

– thefman

"No doubt, my wife and I high-fived when we got a discount on our venue."

– Old_Employer2183

What's In A Name?

"My cousin called it off 3 days in advance because the bride and groom couldn't agree on whether to hyphenate their last names, or use his."

"In retrospect, there was a significant class/ culture divide of which that was merely one symptom."

– thefuzzybunny1

"I used to work with a guy whose last name was West. When he married a woman with the last name Wild, she said she was happy to take his name. He told her that she was insane, and they were not under any circumstances passing up the opportunity to be the Wild West family."

– transluscent_emu

Ban 4

"They realized after everything was already planned, invites sent out etc. that they didn't like the date. They moved it to 2025 so there wouldn't be a 4 in their wedding date."

– MarkmcZack

"Their kids are just gonna jump straight from 3 to 5."

– TripodTheSuperCat

Yikes!

"Bride cancelled the wedding a week before because she was a hardcore disney adult and she was offered a temp job at disney and felt she "couldnt miss the opportunity of her dreams.""

"We live quite a few states away from disney and she said she couldnt do the long distance. Really she just wanted to party like a frat bro in Florida without any repercussions."

"She made a "songs to have sex to" playlist on their shared spotify a few days after they broke up. It absolutely crushed him."

– Reddit

"Oh man, what a sh*tty chick."

"Sounds like he dodged a bullet in the long run, but that must have hurt a ton at the time."

– Sunshine030209

Where's The Ring?

"My friend's former fiancé was a nice dude. Firefighter, easy to talk to, treated her well and got her a nice ring. Every now and then the ring would go missing but he would eventually find it, safe and sound."

"She had a good job, too, and was giving him thousands of dollars a month to fix up a house they had bought to live in after they'd gotten married."

"Turns out, dude was living two lives or attempting to at the very least: he's married for 10+ years and had two kids, the engagement ring was his wife's and he stole it back every now and then to "find" it for her. There was never a house, he never bought one, and used all the thousands he had been given solely on cocaine."

"Needless to say, they cancelled the wedding."

– Zenthoor

Last Minute Non-Planning

"They did nothing."

"They picked a date, sent mails with it to invite people. And then did nothing until a week before said date."

"Of course they could not rent the venue they wanted nor find another one. They couldn't find caterer, dresses etc on time."

"But also, legally, they couldn't get married in such short notice."

"So, they cancelled the wedding, and will get married later."

"It's been 5 years. They're still not married."

– Marawal

"kinda sounds like they're made for each other, lol."

– alohamoraFTW

Worst Prank Ever

"The best man said in his speech that he slept with the bride about 2 weeks before the wedding. All hell broke loose. The groom demanded that the marriage be cancelled. It took a few days to get the truth out & for the groom to finally listen. The best man thought it be a great prank. The groom was apologetic to the bride, but she didn’t forgive him. Because he believed in others’ lies & won’t let her talk."

"He is a big AH. While hunting for the truth, found out best man has a history of sleeping with groom’s past GFs & crushes. Still trying to figure out why groom stayed friends with this AH. Awhile ago, bride found out groom is still friends with AH."

– RottweilerBridesmaid

What God Says Goes

"My uncle and ex aunt called off the wedding because “God told them to wait” a month before the wedding. They lived across the country so my parents had to fly with three children under 10 years old and the tickets were non-refundable. My uncle called my dad with the new date, about 6 months after the original date."

"My mom called him later and when he asked if we would be coming to the wedding she said that she spoke to god and he told her to bring her kids to Disney instead. My parents still joke about it today and my uncle divorced that wife a year or two later. Happy ending though, he married his best friend about a decade later and they are truly perfect for eachother. She really is a wonderful woman and we couldn’t be happier for them."

– Big_Meesh_

I Wouldn't Give Money Either

"They didn't have enough donations from friends and family."

"They set a date, and when they sent out the invitations, they included a line stating invitations returned without the required minimum would not get seated in the hall, another not allowed into the wedding. The bride and groom would make an appearance outside in the parking lot so they could have a chance to congratulate them, though."

"They received... $0.00!"

"Why? Their minimum was $100. $250 if you wanted food. $500 included "cake service." For alcohol $50 got you 6 drink tickets, and I think the cheapest drink was 2 tickets, and some were 10."

– Demorant

The Future's In The Food

"My Italian uncle canceled his wedding because the bride's family (not Italian) would not serve lasagna at the wedding reception."

"He ended up marrying an Irish woman whose family was okay with serving lasagna at the reception."

– rockyroadicecreamlov

"This actually seems reasonable to me. It doesn't have to be about lasagna but about communication, compromise, and treating the groom as an equal partner. It's indicative of what the entire relationship might be like."

– metmerc

Yup, sounds about right.