Honest People Share The Moment They Realized They Needed To Get Their Life Under Control[rebelmouse-image 18351123 is_animated_gif=
Life can get away from you quickly if you're not paying attention. Like a small child in Disneyland or a dog with an open front door, it'll run fast and hard. Before you know it you find your life in dire straits, with choices and consequences that you never intended. It's usually those moments when you reflect and decide, "NO. MORE. Get your life together, Karen!" That's what Reddit user, u/itsclassified_, wanted to know when they asked:
Ok Reddit, what was your "holy sh-t, need to get my life together" moment?
When You Become The Prime Study Example[rebelmouse-image 18351125 is_animated_gif=
When I literally became a case study.
I was 18, and on my third stint in a refeeding clinic for anorexia. Every time I went in, I would be hypercompliant until they let me out and then immediately revert to my old behaviour. The third time I had a psychiatrist ask me if I could be a case study for their thesis on the rate of relapse and mortality in anorexic youth.
I was 32 kilos (70lb) at 5"4, I had the bone density of an astronaut, I have so many digestive problems now that were only worse then, and somehow the idea that I was going to be someone's case study was the moment I figured out I was going to die if I kept this up.
I am nearly a decade older now and I weigh a much healthier amount. No idea what it is because I don't own a scale and haven't in over a year. It's often still a struggle and likely will be for life, but I'm doing a lot better now.
When You're Too Much For The Study[rebelmouse-image 18351126 is_animated_gif=
Applied to participate in a study about depression at my school. The intake interviewer said I was too depressed for the depression study.
Good lord. Are you any better now?
Don't worry, I'm much better now! The interviewer lady set up an emergency psych appointment for me at student counseling, and I started doing therapy. A few months later I got on meds, and now, over a year after that rock bottom moment, I'm happy, well medicated, and haven't had a suicidal thought in many months.
When Your Movie Collection Becomes A Mirror[rebelmouse-image 18351127 is_animated_gif=
I once downloaded a movie that I owned. It was on a shelf across the room, but I was too lazy to get out of my chair and go get it. So I just downloaded it.
Then as I sat there watching the progress bar, I realized, "Geeze. I better get a f-cking life."
So I went out for a walk instead.
When Your Ice Creams Spurs You On[rebelmouse-image 18351129 is_animated_gif=
I am lactose intolerant. I was obese, and didn't care what I did with my body. I didn't work out, I didn't eat right, I didn't even maintain myself well.
I one day ate 3 pints of ice cream in one sitting. I got incredibly sick, I mean almost anyone would, but even moreso. After several days of feeling like absolute trash I decided enough was enough and started working out and eating healthy.
Within a year I was down 70 pounds, and by 18 months I was down 100+, and I've kept it off. that discipline helped me in other things in life, I got a better job and grew as a person, taking much more care of myself, relationships and my surroundings.
amazing what 3 pints of ice cream can do...
When It's A Good Start[rebelmouse-image 18351130 is_animated_gif=
I ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis and withdraw seizures due to my alcoholism.
This was on the 31st of May. I have since been researching programs and have talked to a social worker.
Haven't had a drink since the 30th so it's a start
When What You Hate Becomes Your Reason[rebelmouse-image 18351131 is_animated_gif=
Dropped out of college, moved my way up the managerial ladder at Lowes for the next three years. Was offered a promotion to department manager and saw myself working retail at 50, still taking crap from entitled customers.
Went back to college and am now doing what I really love.
No offense to retail workers, I just don't like people enough to make a career of that sh-t.
When Fan Fiction Turns You Around[rebelmouse-image 18351132 is_animated_gif=
I read a fan fic that made me realize I was in an abusive marriage.
When You Have One Of Those Nights[rebelmouse-image 18351133 is_animated_gif=
I got drunk off of whiskey by doing straight shots while I was alone. I then proceeded to black out, accidentally steal my neighbor's laundry out of the washing machine, and stuff the wet laundry into my drawers before passing out.
Edit: By "drawers" I mean the furniture and not my underwear.
When Your Summer Job Betrays You[rebelmouse-image 18348993 is_animated_gif=
I was 25 and subletting a sh-thole apartment from a coworker in this restaurant we both worked at for the summer. I didn't graduate high school and had worked these ball bustin' jobs since I was 17 and had really no future prospects.
I was sitting up one night on the computer and had the "I can't believe this is where I am and this is what I'm doing" intrusive thoughts. I really was at rock bottom. I looked at my local community college website that night and was signed up for classes the next day. Eventually, I got my GED as well so that I could transfer to university after my time was done there.
I'm getting ready to start my masters in education in 2 weeks. :)
When It's A High School Wake Up Call[rebelmouse-image 18351134 is_animated_gif=
When she told me she was pregnant - I was 17 years old. That was 28 years ago and we are still happily married (after a few bumps in the road along the way). But it was a cold dose of reality at 17 that I had a child on the way, and I needed to be prepared for that and get serious about my direction in life.
I'm happy to report our son, now 27, is doing great as well - lives with his girlfriend and about to embark on a culinary career.
When Your Vice Becomes A Crutch[rebelmouse-image 18351135 is_animated_gif=
When I had to sneak drinks at work to keep the shakes away
When You Talk Back To The Wrong Person[rebelmouse-image 18345882 is_animated_gif=
Long version, in the Air Force, first duty station was on Guam. I stayed drunk, and I mean a fifth a day drunk. Got too wild at the barracks and was taken in by the security police. A few hours later, locked in a room at the cop shop, and the duty chaplain walked in to talk to me. I asked him what it was like to be a virgin. He kind of laughed and told me he wasn't that kind of chaplain, pulled out his wallet and showed me pictures of his wife and kids. I don't remember what we talked about after that, but he got them to release me and took me back to my barracks.
I remembered what I said to him the night before, and it was like God slapped me upside my head. A chaplain gets out of bed in the middle of the night, leaving his family, to talk to a drunk that he doesn't even know, and the best I got is to ask him that. I wish I could say I never touched a drop after that, but it took a very hard year of trying to stay straight before I got. I've been clean and sober since November 8th, 1984.
The lasting lesson for me is that you never know when a few kind words can change someone's life forever. I don't know that mans name, but I thank God for him every day.
When You Have What Others Do[rebelmouse-image 18351138 is_animated_gif=
Just another alcohol related post here.
Drinking three pints of hundred proof smirnoff a day, I thought I was functional. I got sick with a virus, nothing serious, but I couldn't keep food or liquids down for 48 hours. I was throwing up & had a high fever.
Through all of this I was shaking in my bed and managed to still keep my vodka down, because the thought of an alcohol-withdrawal seizure scared the f-ck out of me.
Cleaned up a month later & now I'm at just over two months sober. Sh-t needed to change & it has gotten better.
When Your Best Friend Speaks Truth[rebelmouse-image 18351140 is_animated_gif=
When my best friend looked me in the eye and said "If you don't leave her, you will die."
It took that to make me realize that I had spent the last three months drinking myself to sleep every night because the girl I was engaged to spent most of her time alternating between telling me how worthless and useless I was and accusing me of cheating. She told me daily how pathetic I was and how I was wasting my time with writing because I would never be published.
It took three tries to finally get away from her, and then a wild couple of months where I tried to forget about all the sh-t she put me through while also swinging on a roller coaster of depression.
6 years later and I've had a short story published, a novel published, and I've been in therapy to fix the things she did to my brain.
When Your Best Friend Leaves you[rebelmouse-image 18351142 is_animated_gif=
When my best friend told me to get out of his apartment after I showed up there after a 3.5 day drug bender.
I must've said something to him but I can't remember for the life of me what it was. He's spoken to me exactly one time since.
I miss him but I've gotten sober and I got a new job and go to the gym every other day now.
When Those Who Are Silent Speak Up[rebelmouse-image 18351144 is_animated_gif=
Told my nonconfrontational dad that I thought I had a drinking problem.
Having him flat out tell me I really did have a drinking problem was the end of me drinking.
When It's Every Part Of Your Life[rebelmouse-image 18351145 is_animated_gif=
3 years of unemployment and realizing that every problem was because of my presentation, drug use & how I spoke.
I spent 3 months losing flab (370-340), sold my PC and gaming stuff and bought some new clothing and got a haircut, started NA for my meth addiction and shotgunned my pathetic resume and got hired at a call center for att. 5 years later I'm now making more than 3X as much as that call center (18k to 65k), married and traveled to Japan twice.
If you told me 5 years ago I'd be here I'd have called you and myself insane.
When The Scale Speaks Truth[rebelmouse-image 18351146 is_animated_gif=
When I stepped on the scale and was within 15 lbs of hitting 300; my heaviest was 287 lbs.
Starting eating less, counting calories, switched to diet soda, going for long walks (I hate running/jogging).
Currently weighing in at 184 lbs!! (still a bit overweight BMI for my height but it's WAY healthier than being obese)
Edit to add: Thanks for the gold! Lots of support here too, which I didn't expect. I went to the doctor yesterday for a physical and weighed in at 183!!!
To anyone starting the journey: it's not easy, but it is worth it. It's also slow - and should be, rapid weight loss is usually gained back but steady loss indicates positive lifestyle adjustments. It took me just under 5 YEARS to drop ~100 lbs.
It's hard to describe just how much better life is at a more-normal weight. People treat you nicer (I was freaked out the first time someone checked me out because it had literally NEVER happened before), clothes are WAY easier to find, and airplane seats are much more comfortable.
When Your Cat Is Your Safety Rope[rebelmouse-image 18351147 is_animated_gif=
So this is a super downer so I apologize but it was the biggest wake up call of my life. 2013 was the worst year of my life. I was struggling with finishing my degree, I had just moved to a new city and I couldn't seem to find a good job. I have struggled with depression my whole life but that year was the worst. So I decided to kill myself. I took the screen out of my window and was planning jump. Since I lived on the 12th story I figured that would do it. I also had an elderly cat at the time and in my crazy, depression addled brain I decided that I should take her with me because she only liked me and no one else could love her like I did.
Almost as soon as I had that thought my rational brain went, "hey now" and I realized how off my view of things really was and that maybe I needed to reach out for some help. I realized that I didn't want to die I just didn't want to keep living the way I was living. So I put the screen back in the window and started to make some changes. I didn't happen over night but now I am happy most of the time and so glad that I am still here.
Edit: Thanks for all the well wishes, it really means a lot to me. And for my cat tax here is the kitty in question, Timshel. She passed away in June 2017 at age 17. She had a good life.
When The Intervention Is Almost Divine[rebelmouse-image 18351148 is_animated_gif=
I had just been left by my now ex-wife who left out of the blue to go be with her new thing in Hawaii (I hate Hawaii now). Through a complicated arrangement where I was living in an apartment owned by my ex's boss (this bridge got burned during the divorce), I was being kicked out and was in the process of sleeping in my car and trying to find a new place. I was extremely depressed and was drinking all day everyday, even while driving.
So, one day I was driving home from work, about a 90 minute commute wherein I would drink beer. A cop pulled behind me on the freeway and followed me for a good five minutes. He then put on the lights. I seriously almost s*** pants, I've never been so scared in my life. I knew there was no way to cover up. So I pull over, he walks up, and before he even reaches my window, a car rear ends another car at full speed about 50 feet behind us. The cop says something like, "get out of here safely," and then turned around running to go address the car accident.
I was seconds away from losing my license, my job, my whole life really. I didn't drink for a few months after that encounter and I've since gotten that under control, but damn it was the scariest moment ever but it sure kicked my a-- into gear.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.