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Honest People Open Up About What They Do When They Feel Like A Failure

First off, we all fail. We fail all the time, everyday. And there is no shame in that truth. Failure is one of life's best ways to grow and learn... if, we can learn to see it that way. And yes I'm aware that the option of "when you fail try again" is the biggest cliche ever, it's also very true. But when failure occurs you're allowed to acknowledge it before you move on. Feel it, embrace it and then move on. And are many ways to do this.

Redditor _kittyhawkgirl109 asked us all for some truth... What do you do when you feel like a failure? These are good options. Take a chance.

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS!

I get something done. Anything. I wash some dishes, even if it's only half the sink. I start a load of laundry. I make my bed, shower and then walk my dog. People often underestimate the power of simply starting down the right path even if the steps in the right direction feel insignificant.

MANTRAS...

Remember that today is a new day.

We have all done things that we regret in life.

Learn whatever lesson there is to learn and try to improve yourself.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

RELIVE IT...

I take myself on a tour of the past, recalling the many situations in which I positively impacted people around me. Failure is a big, all-encompassing concept. We may have failed in certain situations. But those sporadic failures do not define us.

FEEL IT ALL!

Kinda counter-intuitive but I sit with the emotions and feel it all.

Example - I make myself feel worse so that I feel the lowest of the low, and then there's nowhere to go but up. I also get tired of feeling crappy, so yeah

PRESS PLAY...

Play video games because it's something I can control. The stories and interactive gameplay also helps me focus on other things. The downside to video games is I feel like I'm wasting my life playing them. It's a vicious cycle.

TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE!

Forgive myself and resolve to do better.

This has been something of an ongoing theme for me as I sobered up and took stock of my life. There's a good decade where I don't have much to show for myself. Didn't advance my career, didn't pursue my dreams of artistic fulfillment, had a few dead end relationships, basically my life was one big drunken holding pattern between leaving college and sobering up. I could have held a grudge against myself and wallowed in my failures, but instead I forgave myself. Then I resolved to do better. The tricky part was sticking to the resolution.

Number 1 was staying sober. That's still a struggle some days, but not quite so many. Next was artistic fulfillment. I finally sat down and wrote the first draft of a novel. In order to do that, I had to make weekly goals and stick with them. I worked on my book 5 days a week, while still doing the other things that were important in my life. I did better in relationships, even got married. And now I'm working hard on my career. I'm going back to school while working full time. In another year, I'll have a degree in electro-mechanical systems, and I'm already working in the field and making almost double what my last best job paid. Holding a grudge against yourself will only make you bitter and miserable. If you want to be a success, you first have to stop blaming yourself for failing in the past.

START AT THE BEGINNING...

All funks have one solution. Back to basics. Get your fundementals down. Baseball batting drought? Eye on ball, swing through, squash the bug. In between jobs? Establish new routine that accomplishes work around the house and putting brand new resumes in.

When we are at our peak, the basics are routine, they're second nature. We don't think about them. When you crumble, they do too, and they are your building blocks for everything else.

LISTEN...

Play music. Basically force your brain to not think about it.

LEARN...

Stop treating it like a failure and start treating it like a lesson.

MORE SHOULD BE LESS... JUST A THOUGHT...

My knee-jerk reaction is fishing for compliments and/or excavating reasons as to why I'm "better" than other people. I then realize that fishing for compliments and comparing myself to others is silly. I then drink beer. A lot of beer. I then remind myself that success isn't linear. And even though I don't intrinsically believe that, I still remind myself that time heals all wounds. I try to focus on other aspects of my life (i.e. things unrelated to the perceived failure). It doesn't always work, but I still keep on trying. On bad days, I drink more beer. And then I eventually move on.

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

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Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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