Honest People Open Up About About Their Bad Traits They Can't Seem To Change
Nobody's perfect. Well some of us are, ok maybe just 98% of the time. So there is definitely time in there for a pesky bad habit or unshakeable life trait or two... or ten to rear it's ugly head. It's difficult to own up and admit the few things that we feel are flaws. What humans fail to recognize though is the fact that those "flaws" are part of what make us so endearingly real. We're allowed a few quirks here and there.
Redditor lasanjawanted to know **What's a bad trait of yours you're aware of, but can't seem to change? One can only do so much.
DIAL IT DOWN A BIT...
Controlling the volume of my voice.
IT'S ME ISN'T IT?
I have a hard time trusting people, or believing that people actually enjoy having me around. I always assume people have a negative opinion of me. It sucks, but I'm trying really hard to break it.
COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?
I have a hard time remembering things people tell me unless it requires action or my effort.
ONE THING AT A TIME... FOCUS...
I think I experience this because I often daydream when other people are talking. I've got to make a concerted effort to make the person I'm talking to a priority and decide to focus on them while they're talking. And I CAN'T multitask. Like, try to talk to a friend who is having a bad day on the phone while I grocery shop? Nope. I'll end up pacing the isles and forgetting what I was supposed to be doing. I've just got to put aside some time to talk to friend, then deal with reorganizing my time for what I had planned to do. I just end up being a crappy friend when I try to talk and do something else at the same time and I miss details of the convo.
JUST SAY...
I have a very difficult time saying 'No.'
GET OFF YOUR #@%@....
I'm really lazy. I mean, I can function - get to work, get dressed, feed myself and my kids. However, most of the time I'd prefer to park myself in front of a TV and do nothing at all. I "clean" my house, meaning I pick up everything, but it hasn't had a good cleaning when chemicals, etc in awhile - or a dusting. So lazy. Really need a maid because I know after this long, counting on me to magically get the ambition to do it regularly is never going to happen.
GET MOVING SNOWFLAKE...
I get paralyzed when I have important life changing things to do. I always wait until it is too late to do them because the fear of confronting them is paralyzing to me
TRY THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
I over share what's going on in my life. I have no idea why, but it just spills out of me. I try to stop, but I only realize I'm doing it after talking to people.
SHOULDERS BACK...
My posture. The difference is huge but I can never hold it for more than a few minutes before I'm slouched over again
MY FACE SAYS IT ALL...
Resting b_*_h face. I can try to hold a different expression, but my face gets tired.
I swear I'm not an a**hole. Anyone can approach/talk to me. :(
JUST LET ME DO IT...
I try to fix everything. Someone wants to vent to me about something, I propose a solution to what appears to be a problem. Really, the person just wanted to vent, they didn't want a solution.
THE NIGHT OWL...
I love staying up late because it's so peaceful when the world goes to sleep, but I hate staying up late when I'm extremely tired the next day.
THE ALTERNATE REALITY...
Getting caught up in daydreaming/fantasies. My God they're addictive (and really just an escape from reality) and it's so hard to get out of it.
PLAY IT SAFE...
I'm afraid to take risks, and by the time I'm confident enough to do something, I already missed out on an opportunity.
ME, MYSLEF AND I ALONE...
I enjoy my "me" time a little too much. My social skills are fine but it's getting harder and harder to leave the house.
NO PEOPLE PLEASE...
Social anxiety, but it comes off as me being stuck up to everyone else.
JUST SAY "HELLO"
I've also realized this recently. I don't join conversations, or wave to people who are already talking... basically, I hate the idea that I might be interrupting someone, bothering them, getting in the way, etc. I've been thinking that way for years, and only recently have I found out that I came off as a jerk who thinks he's too good for other people. I'm really the opposite (at least I try my best to not be a jerk), where I constantly feel I'm not good enough for others.
INTENSE TUNNEL VISION...
When I have things to concentrate on (exams/assignments) I kind of close down the other parts of my brain that make me a friendly person, have a sense of humour, conversationalist etc.
Like I go into work-robot mode until it's out the way and I can be a human again. I think it's partly due to leaving things last minute so I don't really have time for other things.
DON'T OVER REACT!
I get jealous and irritated easily sometimes. I hate it.
And an_uncreative_name wasn't alone with this topic.
Jealousy sucks, and if you're in someones presence when you find yourself being jealous they'll know. It doesn't have to be brought up, because it is on your mind and changes how you hold yourself which people can recognize.
What can you do about it? Recognize your jealousy, and deny it manifestation in your psyche. This is hard and will take time, but when you feel spited you have to realise that 99 times out of 100 the other person is not intending to make you jealous. We're all human and looking out for ourselves, sometimes we do or say stupid shit but that's life. We don't know when or how it affects others, just that it does.
Reflect on situations that have made you jealous in the past. Think about their outcomes. Were they positive or negative? Why were they like this? How did your jealousy morph your perception of reality? Maybe you're jealous by someone you love, how does that affect them? Now, reflect on your expectations of others. By creating expectations, you'll earn disappointment. Being disappointed or let down by someone will lead to jealousy. Reflection is key to reducing jealousy next time you recognize it.
Now we're here. You've reflected on your jealousy and what irks you, but you've just been pitted against your jealousy again. Good on you for recognizing it. Breath. Remember what being jealous will earn you, and remember that the person making you jealous has no malicious intent. If you truly feel like you've been done wrong, bring it up and speak calmly and meaningfully about it. Otherwise, look back on your past reflections and remind yourself it is just not worth it.
The greatest things jealousy have earned me is a breakup and separately a codependent relationship. I've lost many friends and have seen it ruin other people. I know this is very broad but the best advice I can give is just reflect on it. Spend time alone in a quiet space or with calming music and find the roots of your jealousy by means of reflection.
LIFE IS NO JOKE.
I joke around too much. It's my way of coping with stress, anxiety, and other emotions and while it can be enjoyable at times, I know it can be frustrating for others too.
