Honest People Share Stories About Reacting Poorly To Being Rejected[rebelmouse-image 18350992 is_animated_gif=
Love is a mighty powerful force. Sometimes the only thing that causes the stirring of emotions more than true love in unrequited love. We've all fallen victim to it, it's a right of passage in love; to have your heart rejected by the person you're SURE is the one. "If only they's see it!" You know what won't make them see it? You on the lawn at 4AM with a tire iron and their car on fire. We're all guilty, men and women alike.
Redditor u/reliant_Kryptonite asked the gents out there Men of reddit, we hear all about horror stories about how crazy men can be when rejected, but what's been your crazy experience when you rejected a woman? Sometimes it's just not meant to be ladies.
ALWAYS BRING YOUR OWN COMPUTER...
I dated a girl for a couple weeks and on our third date, we chilled at my place and talked. She told me that she thought men who watch pornography were disgusting and if they were in a relationship, it was cheating.
Ten minutes later, she out of nowhere asked to use my computer. I knew the last thing I had open was not going to impress her, so I said maybe some other time. She got WAY too angry at this and said her intention was to write me an email about how much she liked me.
When I said I thought it would be best to call it a night and drove her home, she went quiet until about halfway there, when she says "My Dad's best friend is a cop. I can say what I want." I got the gist but figured it was an attempt to make me reconsider. I dropped her off and she started crying very loudly, fell down in her parent's driveway and crawled to the front door.
I SEE YOU...[rebelmouse-image 18350993 is_animated_gif=
I rejected a girl once, then about 2-3 months later, I was catfished by her... she was _"only proving that I'd end up going out with her anyway" _...by pretending to be somebody completely different. A police report and a restraining order later, she's out of my life.
HERE WE GO...[rebelmouse-image 18350994 is_animated_gif=
Happening as we speak. Waiting for the police, second time in two days.
She wanted to live together. I said no. Cue a mental health warrant, cuffs, pysch ward, and release, all in twelve hours.
That was yesterday. Today she's started the same cycle and I'm just hoping the paperwork from last night and the 100+ texts she's sent me are enough to avoid another spell in the nuthatch.
IS THIS MELROSE PLACE?[rebelmouse-image 18350995 is_animated_gif=
Went on one very low key date, that she asked me on, and let her know as gently as possible that I wasn't feelin' it. This chick just pulled all sorts of s*. Showing up at random places where I was, pretending it was a coincidence. Calls from different numbers. Making fake social media accounts to not only try to contact me, but also befriend my friends. Made up friends and relatives dying. Posting photos of me, unaware she was nearby. Made up boyfriends to try to elicit jealousy. Even a fake pregnancy scare from one of said fake boyfriends. Really didn't understand how she thought that one was going to sway my opinion.
This sort of stuff went on for a while until I moved away for unrelated reasons. This was many years ago now and I can't even remember her name. I hope she has forgotten mine as well.
Another woman pulled the "I'm pregnant" card on me after a breakup. Positive test in hand and everything. Drove her to a clinic for a professional test. She wasn't of course, but what a crappy tactic.
ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL...[rebelmouse-image 18350996 is_animated_gif=
To be fair, I was totally in to the girl at first, so my rejection might have stung a little more. We were FWB and she was legitimately super attractive to me. Just, as time went on I learned more and more about her that made me not want to be WITH her. Sex her, sure, but not like, build a life together.
So when she made the move for more than FWB, and I said no, she told me she was going to go sleep with a dude she knew I hated, film it, and send it to me.
They're married now, with kids. So, I mean, good on them I guess.
MOMMY IS ON IT![rebelmouse-image 18978371 is_animated_gif=
As a full grown adult, I had an ex come to my parents house, while I was there. She had found out on Facebook because I was tagged in posts, and I guess wanted to talk to me after I had told her I didn't want to be with her anymore. I had blocked her number, and her Facebook after a few attempts to reach me over like three weeks. She showed up at my folks place, as I was helping my dad take out the trash. My mom saw her from the garage and starts speed walking towards her car saying "Nuh uh! Get the f**k in reverse!" She just got to her drivers side window and started yelling that she should be ashamed to show her face here, and to have some self respect. Didn't even get towards the car before my ex started backing out. Never tried to contact me again. Thanks mom, you're the best.
HEED THE WARNINGS![rebelmouse-image 18978373 is_animated_gif=
She slashed my tires when I was at work. My buddies tried telling me to stay away from her cause she was nuts. I decided to form my own opinion.
Fact: she was nuts
TAKE A LOOK AT THE FAMILY...[rebelmouse-image 18360833 is_animated_gif=
Freshman year in high school girl I didn't really know came up to me and said I was cute and that I should go out with her. My initial impression was that she was pretty cute, but that I wasn't really interested in dating at the time and I didn't really know her well enough to want to date her so I politely declined. She seemed to take it well enough and we both went about our day.
Next morning I walk up to my locker where her three older brothers (Sophomore, Junior, and Senior) were all standing around my locker giving me a death glare. Not knowing who these guys were I asked if I could get to my locker and they surrounded me. They proceeded to ask me things like if I thought I was too good for their baby sister and what my problem was.
I guess they were sent by her to intimidate me into dating her or something because they said I would be given a second chance to make the right decision. I politely declined again. Such a bizarre day.
FATAL ATTRACTION 2... NOW PLAYING![rebelmouse-image 18354723 is_animated_gif=
Does after a breakup count? If so, I was graduating from my Masters, had a low self-esteem and my ex was really hinting that she wanted to get married, I didn't, was super clear on that.
She broke it off right before I went to visit my parents for about a week. I was a bit bummed out on the way home and a couple of days after, then she called and said she wanted to talk when I got back. By then, I had the feeling she would want to get back together if we got engaged or married.
...And that's exactly what happened, when I got back she acted like everything is fine and talking about us getting serious. After that we went, sat down and told her it was over; I was pissed, she was suicidal.
That's not the end of it, it had just begun. Next morning I woke up to 30 texts and 5 missed calls, I decided to ignore them. It escalated to 40 a day and 20 missed calls for about a week. Then notes in my car. Then a friend of hers started coming to my house to talk to me and say what went wrong and apologizing for her, I told her I would not get back together with her. When that didn't happen she sent 2 friends of hers to beat me up, luckily my friends were in my apartment and they backed off.
Next morning I had 2 slashed tires in my car. Almost missed a job interview. She would stalk me by staying at a cafe across the street from my place for hours, monitoring who came in and who came out and what time.
The final straw was when, after about 3 months passed, I had started dating a girl and we went to my apartment to DVD and chill. I got a call about an hour in, it was a friend of mine saying that he got a call from my ex saying that the girl with the brown hair and red blouse (exactly the description) was too ugly for me and she wanted to mess her up. I ended up making her a nice dinner and had a bottle of wine so I could make time for her to eventually leave her post at the cafe.
I ended up changing my car, apartment, cell phone, emails, and after that I haven't heard from her since.
MOM!! HELP!![rebelmouse-image 18978374 is_animated_gif=
She tried to come over to my house and scream at me from the outside...
Little did she know that my mom don't play that mess, and went outside and yelled at her 20x worse than she ever thought lmao.
STALKING IN THE YA GENERATION....[rebelmouse-image 18345158 is_animated_gif=
A friend of mine stalked a boy in our high school class for over two years and would always tell people (faculty included) how she wanted to marry him, have his kids, keep him in her basement, etc. it was mostly joking, but her crush on him was real.
Anyway one of the teachers ratted her out and she got hit with a threat of a restraining order by the APs if he wanted to press charges. She was mortified, but luckily he didn't want to pursue anything with the law.
THERE AFRE BETTER WAYS TO WOO PEOLE...[rebelmouse-image 18978375 is_animated_gif=
So little bit of backstory. I was in highschool and found out this girl was cheating on me so I broke up with her.
She wanted to get back together, but I wasn't gonna fall into that again. She would text me like once a month trying to start conversation to get back together. I kept it to small talk for about 5 minutes each time before killing the conversation. Every time I rejected her she would get absolutely pissed. She would badmouth me around the school. She tried convincing my friends that I'm gay. The list goes on and on. Oh and she tried convincing me that she was pregnant. She made comments like "you're gonna be a Dad." So I went to her house on a Saturday and told her I will pay for a test, but she got really pissed and started making excuses. Luckily nobody ever believed her, and I graduated now so I don't have to deal with her. She still tries getting back together though.
DON'T RUN TOO FAST FOR IT![rebelmouse-image 18978376 is_animated_gif=
There was this girl that used to hang with most of my friends, and there were a few occasions when she got drunk and came at me with aroused fury. The worst event happened when we were all at my house drinking. At first she was just being flirtatious, but the more she drank the louder and more obnoxious her advances became. My strategy was to laugh and brush it off, hoping not to agitate whatever primal instincts were fueling that flame. Eventually, she got up from the couch, gave me this sort of determined looK then started rushing over to me when she slipped and straight face-planted on the hardwood floor. The floor itself had crawlspace underneath, so that reverberated like a bag of bricks just got dropped. While everyone was pointing and laughing I went and hid in my room, and for the next hour or so could hear her wandering around looking for me yelling and weird stuff. Eventually she left, and from what I've seen on her Facebook it looks like she quit drinking and is doing better today.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!![rebelmouse-image 18978377 is_animated_gif=
I dated this girl in high school and she was just really clingy. So I broke up with her. I come home the next day to find out that she had been calling my house every five minutes and hanging up. She wouldn't stop calling, even after I picked up and asked her not to. We had to call the police. I ran into her dad a few days later. She apologized for her behavior. Years later she moved in with a friend of mine and screwed him out of a ton of money. Apparently he was giving her money for rent and the bills. However she didn't use it for any of that. She moved out of their apartment and when my friend got home one night found out that he was being evicted and his girlfriend was gone.
JUST SMH OVER HERE!![rebelmouse-image 18978378 is_animated_gif=
One girl pretended to be pregnant after I broke up with her in hopes of getting me to have unprotected sex with her to actually get her pregnant.
STICK WITH THE BOOKS...[rebelmouse-image 18978379 is_animated_gif=
I was relatively good looking and popular in high school and was aware that girls liked me.
One of those girls was someone I was studying for an AP exam with. She lived a couple of blocks away and would come over when I got home from baseball practice. One night we were quizzing each other and she said something to the extent of "if you get all of them right I'll let you kiss me." I did not get them all right but she told me I could kiss her anyway. I just kind of chuckled, told her "nope, I had to get them all right," and went back to studying.
Later that night she sent me an email about how she views me as more then a friend and wants to know if I felt the same way. She was a cool girl and I liked hanging out with her but I didn't want to date her so I told her how I valued our friendship, etc. I get that it was a cliche response but, rather than accepting it gracefully, she told our AP US History teacher I was harassing her. Our AP US History teacher was also my baseball coach. Now, if you watch American teen movies but didn't play sports you probably think my teacher/coach told her he would speak to me about it then we had a good laugh in the locker room. If you played sports you're probably aware that I was benched from a game and spent the next couple of practices running laps around the perimeter of the field.
I guess that's not really a horror story, per se, but it was still a s* thing to do because a guy turned you down.
NEVER TOUCH THE FRIES!![rebelmouse-image 18978380 is_animated_gif=
Mine is pretty tame in comparison to the others, but girl wanted me to ask her to Homecoming but I had been dating my girlfriend at the time for 2 years so I was obviously going to take her. She didn't like that because apparently I was in love with her just because I was nice to her and had conversations with her during English class.
Anyways, she asks me and I say no, that I was going to go with my girlfriend, but she was more than welcome to hang out with us and we'd even dance with her. She got pissed and stormed off. 15 minutes later I'm smacked in the side of the head with a plate of fresh French Fries covered in Ketchup.
She then proceeds to get some kid to go to the office and say that she threw them because I spit in her face. Almost got expelled because she was in tears really selling it. Thankfully the snack bar attendants saw everything and intervened before anything happened. She didn't get in trouble or anything. School just acted like it was over and done with.
She moved to Alaska or something after that.
THERE ARE OTHER FISH IN THE SEA PEOLE...[rebelmouse-image 18978381 is_animated_gif=
My sister-in-laws best friend. I couldn't stand being around her. She was obnoxious, stupid. My brother and SIL were always planning date nights for the four of us and then they would find a way to recede into the night so the two of us would be alone. I was nice at first but then her flirting went into overdrive. She was always smiling at me and caressing me and laughing at my jokes even though I wasn't trying to be funny. I had to put the brakes on everything and I became short with my answers and practically sat on my hands. I wanted to make sure I wasn't sending ANY signals out.
After several get-togethers, she finally got the hint. Unfortunately, she couldn't handle the rejection and started bad-mouthing me to anyone with a listening ear. I was confronted several times by family members and mutual friends about how mean I was to her. I was even told that she told someone I don't even know that I got drunk and started grabbing her. She couldn't handle rejection like a grown-up so she made me out to be an a**hole.
YOUR BROTHER SOUNDS CHARMING...[rebelmouse-image 18978382 is_animated_gif=
As she is boxing up some stuff she nonchalantly tells me "oh by the way, my brother says he wants to smash your head in"
There had been a lot of yelling between me and her but never any physical violence. It scared me as to what she might have told him to warrant such statement from him.
Some things are deceptively simple.
Oh, skydiving? That's easy.
Love yourself? Simple.
Who can't open a can of pickles?
ME! ME! That's who. I can't do any of the above simply.
It's all hard. And you know it too.
It's just designed to" look" easy only to bamboozle us.
Approach everything as a burden and live by a motto...
Redditor pterv2112 wanted to hear about the things that are truthfully not so simple.
"What looks easy peasy lemon squeezy but is actually difficult difficult lemon difficult?"
Monopoly. For the life of me, I can't get the hang of that game. I don't care anymore.
Play it...Saturday Night Live Happy Dance GIFGiphy
"Playing the triangle. A lot of my non-musician friends joke about how easy it is to play it. Then they actually hold the damn thing and look stupid."
It's A Lot!
"Work. I'm a lawyer and had a client call saying she needs a help with a merger, but 'don't worry, it's super easy peasy lemon squeezy.' That project took 6 months and I almost had a breakdown. She didn't understand why the bill was so high since it was SO easy."
"Gotta love how the layman lumps all lawyers together as the sleazy snakeoil salesman type without realizing or appreciating the sheer complexity of the legal work involved."
"Dancing. I wouldn't say it looks 'easy,' but when I see people do it, they're so good at it and it flows so well it looks easy. But damn, I just CANNOT get my body to do anything more than a bop and maybe some stupid arm moves. I'm 25 and dance like a 50 year old at a reunion. Dancers are so delicate and make it look so easy, it's honestly amazing. It's just hilarious when I try to do literally anything and fail horribly."
"Whistling with your fingers."
"My cousin taught me when we were in our tweens. It's come in very helpful whistling for the dogs and horses at feeding time."
"What I always wanted to learn was how my grandpa whistled without having to stick dirty fingers in my mouth. Nothing like cleaning stalls, then trying to whistle for horses with sh*t-covered hands. Washing them in near-freezing buckets of water wasn't a first choice either."
It's a...Studying Hand-Made GIF by Philippa RiceGiphy
"Drawing something from memory. Like a bird or something. In mind - yep that's a bird On paper - that's... a bird?"
Drawing birds is impossible; mine look like mules.
Go DeepDigging Blue Collar GIF by JC Property ProfessionalsGiphy
"Digging. Anytime it's shown in movies or TV it looks easy AF but the second you have to grab a shovel and break dirt... bleh."
"A basic physical exam at the doctor. Looks like a simple 'look at the throat' - 'listen to the chest' - 'yup they have a heart all right.' When in actuality Doctors spend thousands of hours practicing it so that when you come in with a murmur or 'Funny-looking-kid-syndrome' they can recognize it immediately."
"And yes, there are entire class sections on how to respectfully ask your patient to turn their head and cough as you push on their testicles (they're looking for hernias)."
"Street names. Everyone thinks it's great fun and likes to offer suggestions but every tree, lake, and other natural feature has at least a dozen variations which you can't repeat for emergency service reasons. That and you get cities which want a street name change anytime the road changes direction regardless of a logical break point like an intersection."
"'Natural' makeup. More work than 'regular' makeup."
"To be honest this reminds me of a video I watched of a visual effects artist explaining his job, If no one notices your work on the footage you've done your job well, its only when you mess up do people notice."
"This is painfully true for a lot of jobs. When nobody notices, it means you did an excellent job but no one will give you credit because they aren't even aware there is credit due. But the moment you slightly f**k up, you're the worst person in your profession."
The SqueezeAs If Lol GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Making lemonade. Sure squeezing one lemon is easy peasy, but do you know how much juice that makes? Not a lot."
I love Lemonade... the drink and the album... but I have no patience to make it.
Art is subjective.
As much as movies are universally loved, there are some that leave a big question mark.
Sometimes films, plots, and characters make no sense. AT ALL.
And that is uncomfortable for the ego.
Is it art?
Am I just dumb?
Why do I care?
Redditor erin214 wanted to discuss all the movies most of us just don't get.
"What movie do you just not get?"
There are so many movies to bring up. But we don't have all day... let's discuss.
I'm Lostdavid lynch GIFGiphy
"Mullholland Drive. David Lynch once said there is definitely a coherent story and you can figure it out if you just pay attention. I don't believe him."
"The Nut Job. I get that it's a kid's movie and the expectations aren't high but that movie feels 15 years older than it is and it's full of the cheesiest one liners over and over. It feels so low budget yet the cast is nothing but stars."
"It's just mediocre. Saw it once when it came out, laughed about it and enjoyed it then but never have had the urge to watch it again."
So many twists...
"Primer. Can’t follow it. I tried; I even looked up the diagrams. I cannot follow that movie for the life of me."
"I think it's just ok to not get it all. When I watch Primer I don't try to follow it all, I just understand the gist of it and understand that it does all make sense on paper and enjoy the show. Don't get too caught up in following all of the twists, it's too clever for it's own good. Really great movie, though."
"I consider myself a mild movie buff and pay attention diligently when watching any movie. But when I watched I’m Thinking of Ending Things with Jesse Plemons I had no sweet clue what was going on."
"In a nutshell: the only 'real' character in the movie is the old janitor who freezes to death at the end. Everything else is his delusional fantasy of how his life could/should have been, mixed with memories of the grim reality of why it turned out the way it did. We're observing his thought process."
Headaches...Screaming Jennifer Lawrence GIF by mother!Giphy
"I feel like mother is how I feel during a migraine. Everything is happening way too fast and I have no idea what’s going on."
Mother. Oh brother. That movie.
Bad MouthChristian Bale Oooo GIFGiphy
"American Psycho. It’s one of my favorite movies so I’m by no means bad mouthing it, but that ending drives me insane. I can’t figure it out. It makes no sense to me. What was the point supposed to be?"
Second Time Around
"Just to clarify, I didn't (don't) hate the movie, I even found the plot cool. But when trying to give it sense, I can't, because a don't fully get it."
"I actually liked it better the second time and I think it's because I watched it on a crappy sound system that drops all the low end bass and is mostly mids and highs, making the dialogue easier to hear. The basic entropy reversal premise is still too stupid to consider interesting or clever though. I can't suspend my disbelief in that idea."
I see the light...
"The Lighthouse. But I still loved it."
"I think it's about a man who is mentally ill and gets isolated along with someone he cannot stand, middle of the movie he does say that a coworker died and the film indicate that he killed him, which explains the scene where he smokes a cig by the beach and see all those logs approaching and he sees a body and he walks right towards it, maybe he regrets what he had done, his mind is certainly playing tricks on him, that's just my take."
"Cloud Atlas. I’m pretty sure you need to go on a mushroom samba to understand it."
"The book makes more sense. It's weird because there is a whole lot in the movie that is lifted very faithfully from the book but there are lots of little intangible bits that don't translate onto the screen well."
"I loved this one! I can see it's a confusing movie, though."EmileWolf
Jake AlwaysBlack And White Movie GIF by hoppipGiphy
"Donnie Darko. Do I really need a website, a book, and a director’s cut to understand a movie? A little exposition, please."
"I love this film and have seen both versions a number of times over the years. I can't explain it though, it's just a vibe I guess. Like that feeling you get when you've just woken up from a vivid dream and haven't adjusted to reality yet."
So many of these movies are on my list. It's them not us.
They say it's hard for workers to get fired from their jobs. That is unless, of course, the employee is self-sabotaging and has nothing at stake.
While there are many unemployed people desperately looking for work, there are apparently just as many of those who want nothing more than to leave a situation that makes them miserable, despite having a steady paycheck.
Curious to hear about terminated employees, Redditor bartertownbeer asked:
"What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?"
Fired? How about arrested?
"During their onboarding training, they stole my bosses wallet on camera.... 1 hour in.."
Right Place, Wrong Time
"This is the opposite route here but I found it amusing. My boss was out of town and I managed a tea shop near a Starbucks years ago. This kid came in (foreign) and said he was supposed to start today. We were hiring and I trained him etc. My boss came back two days later and had no idea. The kid was in the wrong place but he stayed with us. Hired on the spot without even applying."
"We had a recent college grad that would use his corporate card for personal purchases. He figured that the company would just keep deducting from his payroll until it was paid off. He was fired after three months of constant reminders to stop doing it. I don’t think it qualifies as the fastest, because he lasted three months, but it was so idiotic."
The Longest Errand
"I work construction. We had 2 new hires that were friends starting the same day. Boss told one take a coffee order and come back. Took everyone's money and said he needed his friend to go with him cause it was a big order. They never came back."
"A 19 year old kid got hired to work the seafood counter. See him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened."
"He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store and the 5 pounds of crab legs he'd stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager."
Being under the influence at work never ends well.
"New guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won’t pass a piss test, as he used his only bottle of clean piss earlier that day when he hired in."
"Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles...just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
"I worked in a bar and a new girl started. At work, she seemed a little rough but was fine."
"One day she finished a shift, sat at the bar and ordered a red wine with lemonade and ice in it (not really relevant to the story; just shows she is clearly insane). Her boyfriend came in, they had a huge domestic in front of my manager and several customers and she threw her drink over her bf and dramatically stormed out."
And That's Why We Don't Hire Off The Street
"Worked at a steel processing plant (polishing, cut to length, etc) Everyone started off as temps, some for years, before getting hired in. Management decided they were short-staffed and the solution was to start hiring people full-time off the street."
"So this dude starts, full-time on day one, full benefits, more money, getting trained by temps who've been there for months, if not years. Everyone is mad resentful of this dude, obviously."
"Halfway through his second day he gets escorted out for testing positive for coke on his drug test."
"They didn't hire any more dudes full-time off the street."
Competence is of utmost importance. Having brains is a good place to start as well.
Fast Food, Faster Firing
"Heard this from a manager I worked with when I worked in fast food. There was this one kid who didn’t show up for work. He ditched work often, so the manager called around, couldn’t get anyone to fill in his shift, so she had to fill it for him."
"A few hours into his shift, the dude ditching SHOWS UP, with his friends, and orders food from that manager. She fired him on the spot."
Careful Who You Denigrate
"First day of work, he walks in, says 'what the f'k is up dumba**' to the guy that parked next to (didn't touch) his new Camaro he bought since he got hired."
"The guy was the CEO of the company I used to work for, on visit to our branch."
"Literally ten minutes into his shift he was signing release papers."
"Worked in a grocery store for awhile: new guy took a lobster out of the tank and removed the elastic bands on its claws, then proceeded to put it back in the tank. The thing murdered all the other lobsters in the tank."
Up In Flames
"Guy had been working a few days at a barn. Decided to smoke right by bales of hay. Manager saw him and fired him right on the spot. At farms, you don’t f'k around with fire."
Remember when I mentioned how it's difficult for people to get fired?
Yeah, let's scratch that.
Apparently, it's super easy.
A trial can hinge on one simple piece of information.
All it could take for a suspect to walk free or go to jail for the rest of their lives is one single fact.
With this in mind, some lawyers will do their best to make sure that this information is buried, legally and ethically one hopes, and will never be brought up in trial.
However, for this to happen, Lawyers will still need to know this piece of information from their clients, as it otherwise could be brought up by the prosecution, effectively ending the case.
"Lawyers of Reddit, what is a detail that your client failed to bring up to you that completely lost you the case?"
The Whole Truth...
"Opposing counsel: 'Isn’t it true you hit Victim in the face with a brick?"'
"Client: 'No. Marcus hit him with the brick. I hit him in the back with a piece of wood'."- lizard96golf
Thought She Was Being Clever...
"A buddy of mine case as a public defender."
"A gal was busted on drug charges, and told him she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her."
"He thought, ok we'll use that."
"Turns out, she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her because she just sold them to an undercover cop."- CheapCigars
Choice Of Clothes Can Make A Difference...
"My house was robbed."
"In addition to all the stuff the thief took, he also stole a bunch of my suits and all of my neck ties."
"I had a big collection, like 100 or so."
"However, the thief left fingerprints on a hard plastic box that I kept spare change in."
"Fast forward 3 months, the thief is caught in the act of robbing another house in the same neighborhood, same detectives on my case and this new theft."
"They fingerprint the guy and the fingerprints match the ones from my house."
"At the thief’s arraignment, I see him stroll in wearing my suit and my tie."
"I tell the district attorney, he says there’s really no way to prove it."
"However, the tie he chose to wear was a one of kind street map of San Francisco and I still had all the documentation to prove it."
"The district attorney’s eyes widen and he informs the judge."
"The judge has the thief placed under arrest again for possession of stolen property."
"The thief’s lawyer was dumbfounded."
"It was a nice end to a rough situation!"- West-Operationsuit and tie johnny bananas GIF by 1st LookGiphy
Never Depend On Technicalities
"Obligatory not my client."
"Company I worked for at the time was doing due diligence before acquiring a small tech startup."
"The COO of the tech startup was a well-liked guy in the company, friendly and outgoing."
"Though we had heard rumblings that the COO was rather hands-on with the work and with female employees."
"Apparently there was a walk-away package proposed to the COO that would let him keep a sizable portion of his post-acquisition bonus because a young woman who worked in their sales department had filed HR complaints against the COO and obtained counsel."
"I sat in on the meeting with the COO and the company's retained lawyers while they grilled him about his contacts with the young woman."
"The COO denied ever having contact with her within the company without multiple other people present, those people said his behavior toward her in the meetings didn't raise any flag."
"The COO emphatically denied having any contact with her outside of work."
"The lawyers asked the question a half-dozen different ways and each time the COO denied any out of work contact."
"Later we meet with the woman and her lawyer with the COO not present."
"Her lawyer gives us a rather graphic card that came with a bouquet of flowers addressed to her from the COO."
"The guy had an account with a florist linked to his credit card."
"When the company-retained lawyers confronted him he said, 'but I never had contact with her'."
"'It's not like I delivered the flowers myself'."
"COO got terminated for cause so no walk-away package."
"At her request the woman was given PTO until after the acquisition then moved to another one of the companies under our umbrella."- GuiltyLawyerseason 5 episode 21 GIFGiphy
Who Exactly Am I Talking To?
"We got to the deposition of my client and all set up."
"The first question is 'please state your name'."
"The client looks at me and says 'can we take a break?'"
"We do and she pulls me out in the hall to tell me she's lied to me about her identity."
"She's apparently a serial fraudster and has changed identities 7 times since the 90s."
"She apparently thought the other attorneys had some how figured it out and that's why they asked the question."- Philosopher422
It's The Little Ones That Get You...
"Minor traffic cases can be the worst for this, believe it or not, because they are short and simple and often times the client isn't there, so if you get blindsided by something critical there's often no chance to consult with them to turn things around."
"I had a simple speeding case, 70mph in a 55."
"No big deal, if she does a driving improvement course they court will usually dismiss or reduce those, since her driving record wasn't bad."
"When I showed up for her, I found out that she had been driving 70 up an unplowed snow lane, to get around all the others cars traveling in the lane that had been plowed because they were driving too slow."
"I didn't know it was even possible to drive 70 on fresh snow."
"The officer stated he'd already cut her a break by not writing the ticket for reckless driving, and the judge politely agreed he didn't feel comfortable reducing it under those circumstances."
"When I called her up after court to confirm, she did, claimed she'd just forgotten to mention it."
"Now maybe I've lived too much of my life in the south, but that just boggles my mind as a detail you'd forget when hiring a lawyer for that incident."
"I would have told her in advance that hiring us was a waste of money, not to mention the hassle of taking an 8 hour class, and she should probably just go ahead and pay this one."
"I legitimately do that all the time during consults."
"Give my honest assessment if the case is even worth doing, and so by omitting that detail she harmed herself for no reason."
"At least she took it well and didn't get defensive."- AmberWavesofFlameDriving Get Away GIF by Zella DayGiphy
Despite the longstanding negative connotations which come with them, lawyers are there to help you.
So it's always the best decision to tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, especially if you're paying for their services.
That, or just obey the law so you won't need one.