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Homewreckers Divulge Whether They Regret Breaking Up A Relationship

Homewreckers Divulge Whether They Regret Breaking Up A Relationship
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The dictionary defines a homewrecker as "a person blamed for the break-up of a marriage or long-term relationship, especially as a result of having an affair with one of the partners."

That's serious business, sure.


But relationships are complicated and everyone has their reasons, regrets and even justifications, as we learned one Redditor asked the online community:

“Homewreckers" of reddit, what's your story? Did you regret it?"

"He asked me out..."

"He asked me out before he started dating her, and I said no, for a bunch of reasons that had nothing to do with my feelings for him. They were together for almost 2 years, and during that time, we kept in touch. It was innocent enough, talking over Facebook once in a while, joking around, and I would tell him funny stories about bad dates I was going on. One night we were both drunk texting, and things got super super flirty. I realized that we were no longer talking as just friends."

"The next day, I messaged him, and told him this wasn't fair to his girlfriend, and that we had to stop talking online. We stopped. Six months later, he shoots me a message, saying that him and his girlfriend had broken up, and asked me to hang out to catch up. I hadn't been sure if it was a date or not, until he smooched me. We were inseparable from that day on."

"Unfortunately, he had failed to tell me that he had literally broken up with his girlfriend THE DAY BEFORE he called me. And I got a reputation for breaking them up, which I kind of did, even though he never technically cheated. We're still together 10 years later, though, and sadly she still resents me for "stealing" him, and I know that she (and her friends) still think he cheated on her with me. I don't blame her though, I'd have been heartbroken if I was her, and I still feel bad for how it played out.

ghostinyourpants

"I didn't know..."

"I didn't know he was married until she contacted me. I got lucky as hell. She found out what he was up to, she knew I didn't know, and simply asked me to meet with her to confront him and understood I was blindsided and understandably hurt and guilty all in one. So we met him together at a coffee shop. It was awkward as all get out. I cut him out of my life and after she and I had a talk we also broke contact. I still feel bad."

TinyTinasRabidOtter

"Definitely regret it..."

"Definitely regret it, but mostly because I wasn't behaving well for myself or by my own standards. So I started dating this guy I worked with, and ended up moving in with him. I'd just graduated college and really wanted out of my parents' house. It was hard for me to adjust to living back at home, I couldn't find a decent job for months (still didn't I was working at a restaurant). Anyway, I lived with this guy for a few months, and he goes back home to Visit his family."

"Except he didn't. He went home to get MARRIED. And then he came back, and we went right back to living together. I heard rumors sure, and when I confronted him about it he gave me all sorts of excuses until he finally confirmed it. And then it was more excuses to keep me around—it was arranged, he didn't love her, blah blah blah."

"But eventually, she tells him she wants to come live with him. So she does. I'm kicked to the curb. Bounced around for a bit. She hates it here, wants to go back home."

"So me, being the dumbass that I am, get asked to move back in. Now, at this point, when I look back at it, I try to be a little kinder to myself. I did, and ended up in a really low part of my life. He strung me along, saying he wanted to be with me, and told me he would break it off. He didn't. He exhibited a lot of abusive/controlling behavior during this time. Mostly emotional abuse, and once got physical. Then, after almost 3 years of living together, he straight up ghosted me. Left the country. When he was supposed to return, he just didn't. I also was a bit of an alcoholic at that time (1.5 years sober now!), and didn't handle it well. Drinking, hating life, stuck in a shitty apartment in a shitty city not really knowing what to do."

"I went back to therapy, talked it out, and started working on the self-esteem problems/undoing a lot of the abusive behavior he was displaying. I didn't do a great job. I went back to hooking up with another shitty ex. Started talking more to an old hookup from school."

"That old hookup from school came to visit me, we reconnected, and I moved four hours away from that fucked up situation to move in with him. I'm very lucky that I ended up with someone who was not only honest, hardworking, sweet and respectful, but willing to love me through all that fuckedupness lol. We got married two months ago!"

acenarteco

"So I remind him..."

"Was sittin' at work on my lunch break one day, get a message from friend's husband. He's drunk and high and wants me to come over to mess around. (This was the second time ever speaking to the man, mind you)"

"So I remind him that I'm his wife's friend, have never met him face-to-face, and give him the chance to tell his wife what just happened. Then I had to make a choice. Do I tell her or not? Cause some people dont wanna know. Or they blame you instead of blaming their S/O."

"Send her a message and tell her that I have something to tell her about her husband, but I need to know if she wants to know or not. She says "Send me everything"

"That night after work, she confronts him. He deleted the conversation but I had sent her screenshots. They got divorced over it (and other things too, she told me) and they have dual custody of their 8 year old son."

"As for whether it was worth it or not...I feel like she and I are closer friends now but I can't really say. No one seemed to come out on top with this one."

tootytoos

"Thinking back..."

"I got called one by the pissed off wife of the guy I dated for a few months. The problem was that was the first time I had a clue he was married, and if I'd known before then I would have broken it off immediately."

"Thinking back, I should have found it weird that he never invited me over to his place, but eh."

"But yeah, he was the homewrecker. He had a home and decided to mess it up by dating me."

yowiezowie

"If anything good came of it..."

"Huge regret. If anything good came of it, it was that I learned not to be so judgmental. I married at 19, and divorced at 23, my ex was the one cheating. I used to say any woman who would do that is a slut. After the divorce, I was a bit lost and a little wild. I hesitantly began a relationship with a guy I considered a friend and trusted. He told me he would leave his wife for me, and I believed him. I knew her, and while I liked her, she did cheat on him multiple times, so it wasn't hard for me to believe he was leaving."

"Pretty soon, I tired of the sneaking around, and began to pressure him. Turns out I wasn't supposed to really believe he'd leave her. That was the end of that short-lived stupid mistake of mine. Later, he spilled the beans to a friend of his, who told someone else, and the wife found out. Started driving by and wanting to fight me, screaming names as she drove by the house."

"I told her I didn't want to fight her and that I regretted what happened. Said she could kick my ass if she wanted to, but I wasn't going to defend myself, I was already kicking myself for being so stupid. That was pretty much the end of it, it was many years ago now, and it still makes me feel bad. Probably my top regret ever, and definitely out of character for me."

Crzy_Girl

"I quickly..."

"Yes. I did not know he was married. 30 years married... he was military, I worked on base as a civilian. I moved in with him and everything. Turned out his wife lived in another state and never visited. There was nothing that made me think he was married. No hushed phone calls or anything. After we broke up he told her about me hoping it would make me take him back. She divorced him. And against my better judgment 6 months later we got back together. It was the worst year of my life. I quickly moved out and moved on."

Preetigee

"From what I know..."

"I was labelled the "homewrecker" even though nothing actually happened between me and this girl. We had a bit of "flirty banter" at work over the course of a few weeks during the summer. I kept coming in in the mornings to post-it notes left on my desk with flirty messages, and I would return the favour of course"

"I was unaware that she was engaged and had a child, and we carried this flirty banter on until one day she came over mine and we sat down and watched a movie together (literally nothing happened, and her SO clocked onto her not being home at her usual time and started spamming her with calls). I walked her down to her car, and managed to lock myself out of my house (that's another story which I have told in this subreddit -"https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/e5xmhh/what_is_your_locked_yourself_out_story/f9n6ftv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x).

"Go into work the next day and everything is normal, walk out of work and there he is, the girl's SO, standing at the back of his van searching for tools. She messages me and tells me not to leave the building, to which I oblige. After this we split things off and don't talk anymore."

"From what I know they are still together and she has another child on the way."

TotallyNotAnAgent1

"I know she wasn't a bad person..."

"I don't know if this counts because they were separated for two years and in the midst of a divorce but she definitely called me a homewrecker when I started dating him and they had already been separated for a year and a half but their divorce hadn't been finalized. She called me sobbing and screaming profanities at me. Told me they were a family (no kids, but I get it.) I felt bad at the time, I told him that I didn't want to date a technically married man and that broke up with him. He still went through with the divorce and found me after, months later. We started dating again and now we're happily married."

"I know we're both good people. I know she wasn't a bad person. Just two people in a bad relationship (there were lots of threats of self harm) and someone who shouldn't have gotten in the middle before it was fully resolved. I wish her happiness but I don't feel guilty for finding mine. I've been cheated on by my ex and the woman knew full well we were together (not separated) and even then, I don't blame her. It was his choice and our relationship was dying. Probably just too hard for him to end it. I wish them both happiness."

fejre

These were interesting stories! Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

The Worst Cases Of 'Rich Kid Syndrome' People Have Ever Seen

A Redditor asked: 'What’s the worst case of “rich kid syndrome” that you’ve ever seen?'

We are now aware that the distribution of wealth is severely skewed to the top one percent of the population, and rich people have a completely different perception of how the world works and what's "hard" than middle- and lower-class people do.

But what's so disheartening is how their beliefs and limited understanding of hardship trickle down to their children, and how those children are interacting in society is honestly shocking.

Redditor WaterWire asked:

"What's the worst case of 'rich kid syndrome' that you've ever seen?"

The Jet Doesn't Count

"I used to work with someone who proclaimed to be an environmentalist. She was very preachy."

"Once I had a can of Coke on my desk. She said, 'You're going to recycle that, right?'"

"She used her father's personal jet all the time. Once, just to fly from NYC to Boston to see a baseball game."

- LiterallyOutToLunch

Disposable Cars

"A girl I went to school with crashed and totaled six cars in three years and her parents continued buying her better newer cars because every accident 'wasn’t her fault' and if she had stuff like a backup camera and sensors they 'wouldn’t have happened.'"

"She got into a fender bender in the school parking lot and her dad showed up with a wad of cash and paid the other student off."

- nosenseofpermanence

A Simple Grade Change

"When I was in college for my grad degree and I was working as a T.A. (teacher's assistant), during a specific term I was helping my professor with some admin duties for one of his post-grad courses he taught for a different field than mine, and we had this one student who was arguing that she wanted a higher final grade than the one she had gotten."

"We listened to her explanation to see if there was any merit to her request and there was something that needed to be changed, but it basically boiled down to, 'I think my grade is too low and I deserve a higher grade because I say so,' and we simply told her that after reviewing her performance we could confirm that her final grade was correct and there was nothing to be done about it."

"She completely lost it and transformed into a Super Karen and after arguing for a bit, she stormed off and started emailing me and the professor and copying everybody in the email chain: her program director, the department head, the head of our registry office, Will Hunting, the security guard, the librarian, etc., and every email she sent was progressively ruder and more entitled than its predecessor because everybody kept telling her that she was unfortunately in the wrong and there was nothing to be done about it."

"Eventually, she sent a really smug email where she said something to the effect that since everybody was a dumba** and incompetent at our jobs, we had forced her to copy her father who was really close friends with the dean to the email, so we were f**ked and we had to do as she said or daddy would get us all fired. Keep in mind, this was a grad student in her mid-twenties."

"The highest ranking person in the email chain replied, reiterating that we were all very sorry, but she was in the wrong, her grade was correct, and it would not be changed."

"Then her father replied to the email chain and just said, 'There you go, dear. I hope you learn from this.'"

"She didn't reply anymore after her daddy's email, and the matter was closed. To this day, I like to imagine that dear old dad tore her a new one for dragging him into her bulls**t and making him look bad in front of a bunch of professors from a well-known university where his BFF was the dean because she, his grown-a** daughter, chose to behave like a spoiled brat."

- Tough_Stretch

First. World. Problems.

"I'll never forget a former friend stamping her foot and crying because 'Dad sold the jet and I have to take a commercial flight to our raaaaanch.'"

- tnrivergirl

The Cost of Priorities

"An 'Influencer' wondering why other people in their home country don't spend their life traveling like them."

- OrderIntegration

"I love the 'I’d rather have a passport full of stamps than a house full of expensive things!' schtick."

"Most of my furniture is from the free section of Craigslist and I would be thrilled if I ever get to a point where I can afford an international trip every few years."

- TogarSucks

No Help At All

​"Not me, but a friend of mine was an assistant trainer at a Panera store. They hired a teenager who was only working there to meet people, and one day had a group leave a huge mess in the dining room."

"Apparently the teen turned to my friend and said, 'Should we get the help to clean that?'"

"My friend had to explain that they were the help. He quit not long after."

- SailorVenus23

Garage Entitlement

"I was complaining about having to clear off my car from the foot of snow we'd gotten. A guy at work told me there was no way I had to clean off my car. I definitely did and it took a long time."

"Him: Well then, it's your own fault for not parking in the garage."

"Me: I don't have a garage."

"Him: Everyone has a garage."

"I'm like, look out the window next time you are driving?"

- Okay-Cheetah-9125

The Intrusive Thoughts Won

"A senior rich kid in my HS was driving his dad's Jaguar when his buddy asked him what would happen if he threw into reverse at 60 miles per hour. So they tried it and essentially blew the transmission and the motor up."

"A few months later, he got a Porsche for Christmas."

- New_Section_9374

Humbling Experiences

"I had a guy work for me in the military. He thought he didn’t have to do anything because his parents would just 'call their friends.' He ended up getting kicked out for LSD and cocaine use."

- ElfLordSpoon

"I did my mandatory military service when I turned 18, seven years ago. I cleaned s**t more than once, and my father had prepared me for it by saying, 'In the military, it doesn’t matter who you are, you’re still going to clean toilets.'"

"Only a few of my mates from back then knew who my family was and that was after a lengthy, alcohol involving, conversation/interrogation, lol (laughing out loud). You don’t wanna be standing out."

- RolexWearInGray

Unrealistic Shopping

"A therapist once asked me how much money I spent on clothes each year."

"I told her about 100 to 200 dollars, depending on the year and what was needed."

"Her response was, 'You can’t even get one dress for 100 dollars' and then proceeded to tell me that maybe I didn’t value myself enough."

"All I was thinking was, 'This b***h has never been to TJ Maxx?!'"

- FortunaLady

Very Different Backyards

"When I was in elementary school, this kid lived in the only gated community in the area, and the houses were all mansions. He was telling me a story about his tennis court in his courtyard."

"I said, 'Wait, you have a tennis court at your house?'"

"He looked genuinely shocked, and responded with, '…you don’t?'"

"It blew my mind as a little kid who had to share a room with my single mom, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Spare_Invite_8191

College Tuition

"Some girl in my college classes was genuinely shocked there were students who had to take out loans because their parents couldn’t afford to pay the 65 thousand dollars a year for tuition."

"I have a lot of extended family out in California who I’ve never met, but I sometimes hear stories from my parents who keep in touch with a few relatives out there."

"One of my distant cousins, who was like 17 at the time, intentionally totaled the new BMW his parents bought him because he wanted a Mercedes instead. Can’t remember if they ended up buying him that Mercedes or not, but they probably did. Sadly."

- Scortor

Exam Buyouts

"Rich Dude in my high school chemistry class flat out asked how big of a check his dad could write to get him out of taking a major test. He was serious. Nothing happened to him."

- GrayBox1313

Poor Packing Skills

"I had a friend who worked as a counselor at an American summer camp somewhere in Pennsylvania. He said that these kids would leave so much of their belongings because they couldn’t be bothered packing them up and they would just expect their parents to replace what they had left."

"He came away with Beats headphones, brand new shoes (although a few sizes too small), and gaming equipment."

"He also said that one day they were playing a game of flag football and one of the kids fell and grazed his cheek. This kid was some child model, so his parents had him HELICOPTERED OUT OF THE CAMP so he could get plastic surgery over the injury."

- amerika0210

Messy Kitchen Dilemma

"I had a roommate who would cook huge meals and destroy the kitchen. She would eat her meal and head to her room."

"A couple of hours later, she’d come out and be fully p**sed off that the kitchen was still a mess."

"She’d had servants most of her life and was now on her own."

- msjammies73

Though we know that the rich are often incredibly out-of-touch, these examples were still really surprising. Not only is their perception of money so different, but the disposable nature of big purchases, like vehicles, is just wild to think about.

It's easy to take our lives for granted and to forget how lucky we are in our own scenarios, but perhaps the rich experience this even more so.

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

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For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

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And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

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