History Buffs Share The Events They'd Attend If They Could Travel Back In Time
What do you want to see?
[rebelmouse-image 18350885 is_animated_gif=Can you imagine living through a significant day in history? It's totally both a curse and a blessing. But, it's fun to think about, right? So what if you had the chance, what would you do?
Reddit user ChipNoir asked:
Let's see what they all said.
Fulfilling A Wish
[rebelmouse-image 18350886 is_animated_gif=Stephen Hawking's birthday party. (The one he held and only told someone after it had happened in hopes of seeing a time traveler.)
Getting On The Bandwagon
[rebelmouse-image 18350888 is_animated_gif=January 9th, 2009. The day Bitcoin first went online.
Chicago Times
[rebelmouse-image 18350889 is_animated_gif=A World's Fair in the late 19th century. It would be cool to see people getting excited and amazed by the lightbulb and other inventions from the time period.
Recession
[rebelmouse-image 18350890 is_animated_gif=When the market crashed in like 2008, buy some stocks.
Curiosity
[rebelmouse-image 18350891 is_animated_gif=The big bang! What the hell was going on 12 hrs before?
Completely Legal
[rebelmouse-image 18350892 is_animated_gif=A pharmacy in the late 19th/ early 20th century.
"Yes sir I have a cold. The only thing that will help is as much cocaine and heroin as X$ can by"
A Good Deed
[rebelmouse-image 18350893 is_animated_gif=The bombing of my grandfather's house in ww2.
They lived on a farm next to a railway which was the target. The British missed and hit their home. Parents + 8 kids + grandparents + 3 aunts/uncles. After the bombing they were all split up over multiple villages and didn't see each other much for years. Id love to see his home and family he still talks about before the bomb and use the cash to help them after.
Choices
[rebelmouse-image 18350894 is_animated_gif=Kennedy Assassination, or maybe the Buddha giving the flower sermon, or maybe meeting Jesus before all the apostles glommed on. Or maybe that first Black Flag show in NYC.
My Name Is
[rebelmouse-image 18350896 is_animated_gif=I'd save Lincoln..if I could. Then tell him about Hamilton (the musical)
Solving Mysteries
[rebelmouse-image 18350897 is_animated_gif=See how the Roman's made concrete. IIRC we still don't know how they did it.
Confirmation
[rebelmouse-image 18350898 is_animated_gif=I would want to check out the actual time and place of when Jesus did any significant and undeniable miracle. And I would video the whole damn thing. When I returned, I would have the ability to convert all christians into atheists or all atheists into christians.
1313
[rebelmouse-image 18350899 is_animated_gif=My own 13th birthday party. So I can pull myself aside and try to fix my life before it ever goes wrong. And if younger me acts like younger me, a stubborn little prick. I'll just buy some smokes for slightly less than they currently cost while I'm picking up lotto tickets.
Roswell
[rebelmouse-image 18350900 is_animated_gif=Find the location for the Roswell UFO crash and spend part of that money on camping supplies (good tent as there was a storm that night) and just see what the heck really did go on. I wouldn't interfere.
No WWI
[rebelmouse-image 18350904 is_animated_gif=I'd pack a copy of a history book before I use the ticket.
The assassination of archduke Franz Ferdinand is what I'd go to.
I'd spend the 200 bucks on a gun to take down the assassin(s) and thus alter the course of history. The time before the event is spent by tracking down those motherf-ckers, the time after most likely by using that history book to proof that my action was heroic and just.
Amazing Celebration
[rebelmouse-image 18350906 is_animated_gif=I'd go back to the event where I became rich.
A week ago, and buy a lotto ticket of each type/company and spend the rest on highest returns of sporting events (ie Team A to beat Team B by X points). If I have anything left over, maybe a nice chicken parma and a few frothies to celebrate me becoming rich over the next week.
Save The World
[rebelmouse-image 18350907 is_animated_gif=The burning of the library of Alexandria.
A Legendary Concert
[rebelmouse-image 18350908 is_animated_gif=Live Aid 1985. I'd kill to see David Bowie / Queen / McCartney. Leave me in 1985, that will be fine as well.
Winning The Lotto
[rebelmouse-image 18350909 is_animated_gif=I'd go back to a large lottery drawing and buy tickets with knowledge of the winning numbers.
The True Fulcrum
[rebelmouse-image 18350910 is_animated_gif=I want to witness the discovery of how to make fire. I don't even know if money would matter, it just sounds awesome to see the early days of human history.
Body Cast
[rebelmouse-image 18350911 is_animated_gif=The eruption of Mt. Vesuvius (Pompeii, 79 A.D.) I'd need some kind of elaborate story to convince people to GTFO so they didn't end up charcoal but dang it, I'd try.
The Closest People Have Ever Come To Killing Someone
"Reddit user BBQPancake asked: 'What was the closest you've gotten to killing someone?'"
We all... could be a Dateline NBC villain.
Life pushes us.
Of course, there are also times when accidents happen and we prove life is fragile.
One never knows what actions they will one day be responsible for.
More deep breaths should be taken.
Redditor BBQPancake wanted to hear about the times people almost let the devil win, so they asked:
"What was the closest you've gotten to killing someone?"
Everytime someone CHOOSES not to use a turn signal, I roll the dice if this is the moment.
No Hazards
lauren conrad car GIF by The HillsGiphy"Dude was changing his tire on the side of the freeway about half past midnight, dressed in dark clothes, no hazards on, and sitting halfway into the right lane. Almost splattered that dude."
Flooded_Strand
Totally Weird Experience
"11:30 pm Remote country road with no streetlights. There’s a tiny traffic island in the middle of the road and I see what looks like a slightly different-colored silhouette standing there. By all rights, I should not have seen him there but something in my brain clicked and swore there was a figure standing there so I slammed on my brakes as the figure jumped out in front of me, car stopped about 2m away."
"He smiled really sinisterly and started walking towards the car, I reversed and made to move around him slowly and he jumped in front again, I managed to drive on the wrong side of the road to escape him."
"A minute down the road I stop to flash my lights at every passing car to warn them and I sh*t you not the second car that passed was a cop and I explained what happened. I circled back a minute later and saw the dude on the side of the road in cuffs. Totally weird experience."
HeyMrCow
SLAM!
"When I passed my driving test many years ago, I asked the instructor if he had any advice for a new driver. He warned me that if I ever saw a ball roll into the street to immediately hit the brakes because there was a good chance a kid will follow. I never forgot that and have religiously followed it ever since."
"A couple of years ago I was driving down a residential street and it happened again and something in my mind told me to SLAM on my brakes and so I did. I came to a stop just feet from a really little kid who was completely frozen in terror."
"That driving instructor is probably dead of old age by now, but wherever he is, I hope he understands that he saved that little kid's life and saved me a lifetime of guilt and heartache."
MaybeADumbass
The potatoes were stuck
"Pneumatic potato cannon. My friends and I were shooting it in my backyard. Must have launched off dozens of potatoes at this point. We decided to stuff 3 potatoes in the barrel. When we open the valve to shoot it nothing happened. We were sitting around 60 psi and had no launch."
"The potatoes were stuck. My friend went to look down the barrel. I saw what was going to happen and lifted the back forcing the barrel into the ground. At that time the potatoes shot out and left a small crater in the ground."
ELONGATEDSNAIL
I Shudder
shooting breaking glass GIF by PhazedGiphy"I was fermenting homemade kombucha in a tightly closed bottle. Which I forgot to burp. One day a bottle exploded, while my mother-in-law was in the kitchen. Luckily, she was far from the bottle at the moment and got only a scratch on her hand, but we had to dislodge glass shards from the walls. I still shudder from a thought of what would happen if she were closer."
nazanar
Closed bottles and pressure, that is a toxic mess.
Take shelter.
Avengers Unite
the avengers GIFGiphy"Every time I drive in Sydney on a weekend 4000 people either wanna walk out into traffic without looking or cycle onto main roads without pausing or merge into my lane without indicating/checking. By staying in defensive driving mode I've saved more lives than the Avengers."
RGH81
6 Inches
"Was on a film set working when a mentally unstable person with a knife approached me and another crew member."
"Was forced to take a swing at him with a gobo arm (it's essentially a metal rod with a metal knuckle on the end of it). Swung hard enough that if it connected, would have caved in this dude's temple."
"Just missed, and it coming so close must have jolted the guy back to reality and he took off. So closest I came to killing someone was about 6 inches."
Ringlovo
A Few feet from the Girl
"Used to work a delivery job. One afternoon, I'm driving back to work in the old POS delivery van and some girl bolts across the road (presumably to catch a bus that had pulled over up ahead)."
"Slammed on the brakes and came to a sliding stop completely sideways in the middle of the road no more than 2 or 3 feet from the girl. I still think about it sometimes, it was a heavy old Ford van, with no ABS. If I'd been speeding even slightly I think I would've hit her."
ZatyDaddy
Madre de Dios
"Driving a loaded truck, probably about 10,000 lb or so, at the speed limit. Traffic in the oncoming lane is at a standstill. Some [censored] decided he was too important to wait with everyone else and pulls out, face to face with me, at very short range. I swerved hard right, didn't really expect to miss him but somehow did."
"Then swerved hard left to avoid the people on the sidewalk, somehow missed them too. Didn't think you could make a truck do that. Apparently, my passenger (the owner of the truck I was driving for) didn't think it was possible either. I learned some new swear words in Spanish and what sounded like the prayer of thanks to Madre de Dios."
philzar
Fired
New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy"High school friend's dad wanted to teach us how to shoot. Went to the range and when he wasn't looking I grabbed the pistol and tried the John Woo sideways grip shot. It flew out of my hand and the bullet ricocheted off the side wall. That was my last time to ever fire a gun."
eguez780
We really need to be vigilant.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as most of our favorite movies and books like to portray beautiful, functional, unconditionally loving families, we didn't all come from households like that.
It can be especially hard to be singled out by your family, functional or not, as the root of all its problems.
Redditor Yuizun asked:
"How did you become your family's 'black sheep'?"
Family No Matter What
"My family on one side shares a toxic belief that no matter how bad someone treats you 'family is family' and you continue to associate anyway."
"My parent on that side was abusive, so as an adult, I chose to not have that parent in my life. At first, I was given the 'Yeah, they were wrong and treated you horribly, but...family' speech by a few relatives, but I stayed firm on staying away from this parent."
"I'm now basically disowned. I guess family is family unless you refuse to deal with your abuser, then you aren't family?"
- Orchidforever
Not the Right Kind of "Successful"
"I didn’t go to medical, dental, or law school, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Additional-Brief-272
"I don't want to be that guy, but I'll one-up you."
"My brother is the black sheep because he's not a surgeon. He decided to be a pediatrician. My father was actually disappointed in him."
- GeneralGrueso
Adoption Troubles
"I was adopted at birth. Black Sheep Status attained!"
"My parents 'settled' for an adopted child after failing to conceive a biological one. S**tty for me that they finally got pregnant with the long-desired biological kid very shortly after my adoption."
- 1derHamster
Age Gap Issues
"I'm kind of the automatic black sheep because of my age. I'm the oldest grandchild in the family and my mom had me when she was very young so by the time her siblings had children I was already 13."
"So I'm kind of an island of my own experiences in a different phase of life than everyone... too young to really hang with the adultier adults and too old to hang with all my cousins who are 13+ years younger than me."
"Growing up, it was very isolating. It's gotten a bit better now that all of us are older, but I still don't really feel like I belong especially well anywhere."
- HeraPlum
Being Introverted
"Being an introvert in a very extroverted family."
- ApplesPeaches
"Try being introverted at home, and extroverted at work, while your family knows this."
"So it's always just, 'We know you can do better, why are you always so quiet around us?'"
- Martina313
The Sibling Shadow
"When my older sister set the bar too high starting in second grade."
- FiremanBillBradley
"My brother was always in trouble at school. I was quiet and too shy to do anything but get my work done but whenever there was trouble in my classroom it was always said by a passing teacher, 'Oh, that's x's sister, bound to be her fault.'"
- Valuable_Recipe_1387
Making Big Moves
"I moved to Japan, which I thought was fine, but in my family's eyes I am the same as Al-Qaeda."
"No joke."
"The day before I moved to Japan, my dad said to me, 'IF YOU HATE AMERICA SO F**KING MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MOVE TO IRAQ AND JOIN AL-QAEDA!'"
"Like bro, chill the f**k out, I'm moving to teach English, gawd dayum."
"My parents have since calmed down, but my 24-year-old sister basically called me a traitor the last time we talked, and my 27-year-old sister said I'm a f**king id**t for moving to a country that isn't even free."
"My parents still make fun of Japan constantly and tell me they will never ever visit me here (to which I said cool, I guess I'll never see you again, because I'm not going to America until you visit me here) so yeah."
"Somehow I'm the black sheep for just like, doing what I want."
- Particular_Stop_3332
Mental Health Stigma
"I was open about suffering from severe depression."
- LadySygerrik
Toxic Family Members
"For refusing my sister's toxic behavior in my life."
"My family is the kind of family where the saying 'family is family' really is implemented."
"However, not with me. I tolerate what I want. If you are a piece of s**t, you don't deserve to be in my life. My family did not accept that and well, baaaah."
- Kitasuki
The Wrong College
"It was a long time ago... but my older sisters were attending Wharton and MIT at the time. The best I could do was Carnegie Mellon. I still remember the look of utter disappointment on my parents' faces."
- PluckPubes
Unapologetic Lifestyle
"Pursuing my constructive life passions and even morphing them into my work, making a good living at it, and being happy and unapologetic about it."
"Instead of doing something my parent thought I should be doing instead, something that wasn’t a 'waste of my time' like a 'real' job."
"I’m the only one of my siblings without a DUI or any other legal issues. Still the black sheep."
- LivingWithWhales
Breaking Generational Cycles
"For being significantly more mentally stable and responsible, and also not enabling or making excuses for a problematic relatives behavior."
- missesalchemist111
The Unplanned Pregnancy
"I was born and had needs and that was it."
- Sunsa249
"I was born as a result of high school sex. That was my fault. They weren't ready for me. Then I had needs like education and medical care and that was just asking too d**n much."
- literally_lite_rally
Black Sheep by Association
"By being born to my mother who was already a black sheep because she was born five years after her four siblings as a 'pleasant surprise.'"
"Most people don't become the black sheep. They're born it."
- Disig
Supportive Siblings
"Supporting my sibling when my stepparent was continually unfair about them. Went from being the unwilling favorite to ‘She Who Must Not Be Named.’"
"Thankfully my in-laws are amazing!"
- bad_dancer236
From ridiculous and petty reasons to larger social issues that a child never could have chosen for themselves, people have been turned into black sheep for all sorts of reasons.
The common thread for each of these people was their decision to value themselves over how they were being treated.
Clearly, the people viewing them as the black sheep didn't like having boundaries enforced around them.
In order for medical professionals to properly assess and diagnose a patient, the patient has to describe their symptoms as best they can.
But not every patient gives all the accurate information, possibly because they may be embarrassed about how they got into their predicament in the first place.
Regardless, doctors and nurses have seen it all and can tell if a patient is not being forthright.
Curious to hear from medical experts online, Redditor DrPloyt asked:
"Doctors and nurses of Reddit, what’s the most blatant lie a patient has told you about why they’re in the hospital?"
Those who felt ashamed thought they could get away with lying.
The STD Source
"Had a patient convince his wife he got an STD from a dirty toilet seat in the ER when he arrived to the hospital. He was in house for about a week or two after, his wife dutifully staying with him each day until about 6. She home cooked meals for him every night and would bring them to the hospital each day while trying to file complaints to us for his STD he got from us."
"A doctor had to kindly explain to her the impossibility of him getting that particular STD from a toilet seat and it also become active / symptomatic in that time frame. She never believed us."
"After she went home each evening at 6 to cook for him for the following day, his affair partner would show up from 7-10 each evening."
– Duffarum
Running From The Law
"I’m a paramedic. I had that. They called 911 to get away from the police and a fight that had been happening.Jumped in the ambulance and started screaming at us to just drive away. We locked ourselves up front and said that’s not how this works and he ran away."
– Fianna9
Substance Abusers
"I’m a paramedic, and it’s the ones who deny doing drugs and insist we don’t know our job. I had one patient swearing up and down he doesn’t do any drugs, he was just sleeping. On the kitchen floor. While cooking."
“Do you know why your mom is crying? She just did cpr on you because you stopped breathing”
"Then admitted to doing some weed. And crack. And heroin. And meth."
"ETA- this was after he woke up to naloxone. I always ask twice if drugs are suspected before moving on to other medical issues."
– Fianna9
Attention Seeker
"I've told this story many times before, but when I worked in the emergency department there was a frequent flier who would come in complaining of migraines, seizures and stroke symptoms. She was completely full of sh*t, just wanted drugs and attention. One time the symptom she presented with was that she could only speak Spanish, but the thing was that in reality she couldn't speak Spanish*,* so you had to ask her yes or no questions or she just wouldn't respond. If the answer was yes she would say 'si' and if the answer was no she would shake her head, because she didn't know the Spanish word for 'no' is no.'"
– PigWithAWoodenLeg
The Axe Thrower
"Psych patient told me she didn’t know why they were keeping her in the facility. She claimed nothing was wrong with her, wasn’t on drugs, and didn’t do anything to be admitted… after 30 minutes of talking she admitted to throwing an axe at her neighbor, unprovoked after use of meth."
– lanakame
Quick observations revealed these patients were untruthful.
The Ex
"I lied to hospital staff once before, my ex gf stabbed me in the hand and it cut me wide open. So I get to triage and I tell them I fell and accidentally cut myself, because I didn't want to get my ex in trouble (yes I know I'm an idiot blah blah blah I've heard it a million times) when I get into a room I look around and notice an unusually high amount of domestic violence posters on the wall, I thought 'huh that's weird' the first thing the nurse says is 'we know it can be hard to talk about being abused' like damn they were on to me from the start, I still don't know how they knew, but I ended up spilling the beans, they said they wouldn't tell the police if I didn't want them to."
– dayzers
Does Not Compute
"I was in the ER for a suspected testicular torsion, and we saw a guy with a pretty clear bullet wound on his arm. The lady handling intake asked him what happened, and he said he fell off his skateboard."
– doctordoctorpuss
What's Up, Doc?
"I had a frustrating itch inside my rectum and the carrot was the only object that I could fit in there"
– LithuanianLion
What The Ex-Con Did
"Easy. A guy came in complaining of being constipated and couldn't poop for 5 days. He reported rectal blood and difficulty passing gas. A CT was done and showed a 9 inch linear object bordering or slightly puncturing through his bowel with questionable free air. With the CT results in hand we confronted the guy. 9 MONTHS AGO, yep, 9 months ago this guy got out of prison where he stuck a prison shank in his butt to hide it during a cell search. It was already in there about a year before he got out. He didn't tell anyone for fear of adding on his prison sentence. He was never able to retrieve it and thought it would just pass naturally. He was just hoping we'd give him some prescription strength laxatives and he'd have better luck. He needed surgery."
– alwaysforgettingmypw
Things got out of hand for these patients with erectile dysfunction.
Hard Situation
"Back when Viagra first dropped, every grandpa in Miami with chest pain would lie about why they had a raging erection. Or the boner would be gone, and they'd be so much more confident in their answer. No matter how much we stressed how unsafe lying would be, no matter whether we ferried the ladies out of the room."
"It was quite a way for little baby nurse me to learn how low blood pressure could get. Being in Miami at the time was like being on the front of a boomer battlefield for erectile rights."
– MissAnthropicRN
Forever Stiffie
"Oh boy."
"I'm an admin in a hospital and just the other week we had a younger guy (30s) come in because he had injected viagra into his unit...his erection had lasted for a worrying amount of hours so he came to ED."
"After having 220mls drained from his member, he regained full function."
"My colleagues and I joked that he wouldn't be touching it for at least a day or two."
– HailCrystals
The moral of the story is, it's pointless to lie to your doctor.
The truth will eventually come out, and it should, because your life could depend on it.
And the truth of the matter is, doctors and nurses don't care about your situation, no matter how embarrassed you are. They just want to make sure you are properly tended to.
Any judgement from them will most likely be because you're a bad liar, not because you shoved a foreign object up your bum.
Every moment we breathe is a moment to learn something new.
What's funny is the more we learn, the more we're shocked.
Some knowledge is so obvious it's stunning how oblivious we are.
Like, "How did I not know this sooner?'
And no matter what I can still be shocked.
Redditor r3tr0gam3r83 wanted to hear about which realizations in life have left people SHOOK, so they asked:
"What is something that blew your mind once you realized it?"
Avocados are not vegetables.
They're fruits, berries to be exact.
Like what?!?!
Colleagues
GIF by Bud LightGiphy"Sometimes it is more important to like your colleagues than the actual job."
"I had shi**y jobs with the most amazing colleagues and had shi**y colleagues and the most amazing job. I'd pick the first every time."
chr989
Star Trekking
"That you could legitimately travel at warp speed through the center of galaxies and never run any real risk of hitting a star. That’s how spread out space really is."
justanotherguyhere16
"Also, galaxies, stars, and even the Universe is constantly moving. I think time travel has been invented, but they can’t figure out the 'space' part of it.
"Yes, they can travel back in time, but relatively speaking, they can’t figure out how to navigate to the part of the planet they want to reach. So when they travel back in time, it’s relative to where they currently are, and end up not moving through space, thus ending up in the middle of an empty vacuum."
theknights-whosay-Ni
Jaws is Old
"That sharks predated the rings of Saturn."
BeardedDominant
"Sharks also developed the immune system that ended up in both dinosaurs/birds and mammals."
csiz
"We don’t know that. We can’t say for certain that the rings are only 100 million years old. It’s still debated."
The_Kek_5000
"I'm pretty sure that sharks are older than trees."
Cayderent
From the Trees
"One day I sat on a tram, passing a river. There was a duck in a tree. I realized I'd never seen ducks in trees. No one else seemed to notice, but I was puzzled. Now whenever I come across something that seems intuitive but I have never considered I call it a duck in a tree."
Ol_Pasta
"This realization happened to me this past year. We apparently have a family of wood ducks in one of the big trees in our yard. Our neighbor said she has seen a duck walking around on a branch. I made it 37 years without knowing some ducks can roost in trees. My wife caught a video of the mama leading like eight ducks into the field next to our house. We aren't even near water."
jwbourne
Artistic Timeline
Confused Eminem GIFGiphy"Pablo Picasso and Eminem were both alive at the same time."
leebon427
"I’d bet a lot of people think Picasso is a Renaissance artist."
editormatt
I admit it. I'm one of those people. Pablo and Marshall, in one lifetime.
New facts are fun.
The New World
Design Loop GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy"They were colonizing the Wild West at the same time as they were building skyscrapers in Manhattan. I always think of them taking place eighty to a hundred years apart. It's wild."
Emilayday
Oh the Power
"Nuclear power plants are just steam power plants that use nuclear reactions to heat the water. There's no fancy magic extracting energy directly from nuclear material. They just boil water and spin a turbine."
RenaKunisaki
"Most electrical generation is spinning a turbine. Photovoltaic solar power is pretty much the only exception, and it's not the only form of solar power. There's solar thermal power, which uses mirrors or lenses to concentrate the heat of the sun to make steam and turn a turbine."
Brawndo91
The Empire
"The Roman Empire fully fell less than 50 years before the discovery of the new world."
South-by-north
"The Romans also had copper wire, magnets, and battery acid. They could have invented electricity hundreds of years before it was actually discovered. But they didn't. The wire was used for jewelry, the magnets as lodestones, and the battery acid was used to clean the rust off of swords."
Kahzgul
"RIP Byzantine Empire. 1453 never forget."
crossbowman44
The Witness
"Owl‘s silent flight. I mean I always knew that but a while ago was the first time I actually witnessed it. Owl came flying towards me and landed only a few feet away and you couldn‘t hear anything. Crazy."
Zealousideal-You-324
"I saw a barn owl swoop down and catch a mouse while hiking at night, and the whole thing happened in complete silence. It gave me a deep sense of unease because it was literally like someone hit the mute button on life."
VulcanVisions
Bad Kermit
Kermit The Frog Meme GIF by IdentityGiphy"Poison dart frogs aren't poisonous in captivity."
"I own 5 of them and anytime I tell someone I own some I always get 'Do you ever lick them' or 'Can you go kill someone with them.' But yeah they get their poison from what they eat, and all I give them is fruit flies."
JMfury
Poison frogs?
That sounds like something Rose would have a story about on 'The Golden Girls.'