History Buffs Imagine A Themed Restaurant's Punniest Specials

History Buffs Imagine A Themed Restaurant's Punniest Specials

[rebelmouse-image 18347460 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

History was one of the more boring school subjects for a lot of people, but that's mostly because history classes don't really teach the juicy bits. If you're lucky, you'll have at least one history professor who had a great sense of humor or storytelling and could ignite that passion in you. For those who did, one Reddit user asked:

You are opening a history-themed 24 hour diner. What are some of your punny specials?

The responses were predictably hilarious, and cringeworthy in some cases. We literally went "oh god that's awful." like three times. You're about to walk into a minefield of puns, brace yourself appropriately.

23

[rebelmouse-image 18350865 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

A Caesar salad, but served with 23 knives.

An American Classic

[rebelmouse-image 18350866 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Gettysburger

This Full Menu

[rebelmouse-image 18350867 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Caesar at the Rubicobb - caesar salad and a cobb salad

Benito Tortellini - Tortellini pasta that will always get to you on time

Joan of Dark-meat - Chicken thighs and legs roasted to perfection for never losing faith

Agincorn - Just corn on the cob. Don't let it fall in the mud.

And for dessert: The Axis of Ice Cream - a delectable trio of Häagen-Dazs, Gelato and Mochi ice cream

Served With A Fortune Cookie

[rebelmouse-image 18350868 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Alexander the Crepe - $12 Huge crepe, nobody has ever finished, mostly filled with shwarma but inexplicably served with a fortune cookie. Nevertheless the fans of this dish would die to defend it.

Notorious

[rebelmouse-image 18350869 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

The Notorious B.L.T

Served with Ice-T, no Ice Cubes.

Three Fifths

[rebelmouse-image 18350870 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

You can order the chocolate cake, or the vanilla cake, for the same price, but you only get 3/5ths of the chocolate cake.

Water

[rebelmouse-image 18345572 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Revolutionary Tea: It's a glass of water, we threw all of the tea out.

Sushi From The Next Table

[rebelmouse-image 18350871 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Pearl Barley Harbor

A nice bowl of pearl barley, but halfway through the waiter starts throwing sushi at you from the next table.

Trump Julius

[rebelmouse-image 18350872 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Chili with varying hotness.

Mt Vesuvius - the hottest chili, complete with a signed disclaimer releasing the establishment from liability.

Napalm chili - comes with a side of aloe vera juice to help with the burn.

Revenge - this dish is best served cold. Contains the heart of pigs. Serve to enemies as a bold and spicy statement of your loathing.

Of course, Battle of the bulge - a 5000 calorie burger plate with a side of butter. Must eat it all for it to be free. If you can't, your cost will be a donation to the Obesity Health Alliance.

And a Trump Julius - a drink so amazing you won't believe it. The best ever. Cost is one country and we won't deliver the drink, we'll just keep bragging about it to you until you get fed up and burn the restaurant to the ground.

Falls Apart Way Too Easily

[rebelmouse-image 18347545 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Manifest Breakfesty - Build your own breakfast plate from things that aren't even on the menu, leave without paying, call it "destiny."

California Gold Rush - California gold potato home fries covered in tiny bits of gunpowder

Articles of Corn-federation - Homemade corn bread that falls apart way too easily

Battle Of The Bulge, Indeed

[rebelmouse-image 18350873 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

The Sun Never Sets, English breakfast --- $8

A full English breakfast including bacon, sausage and sunny side up eggs. Served all day.

The Holy Roman Empanada -- $10

Beef, pork, almonds, we have all kinds of fillings for these delectable free city treats! (Catholics only)

Battle of the bulge -- $12

A battle of a burger with four patties, two slices of black Forest ham, grilled onions, kraut and a beer cheese sauce.

Let them eat, Cake. ---- $20

An (admittedly small) slice of French vanilla cake.

Eggs

[rebelmouse-image 18350875 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Eggs Benedict Arnold.

Eggs Benedict served on a toasted English muffin with a thin slice of pan seared turkey (a bird native to America) instead of the usual ham. Is it American? Is it British? Either way, it's delicious!

It's Impossible To Kill A Plate

[rebelmouse-image 18350876 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Raspoutine

A Revolutionary Drink

[rebelmouse-image 18350877 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

The boston long island iced tea party

Spinach

[rebelmouse-image 18350878 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

The Spinach Inquisition

A spinach Artichoke dip appitizer.

Fusion Dessert Alert

[rebelmouse-image 18350879 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Genghis Flan

Moon Pie

[rebelmouse-image 18350880 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Landing on the moon pie.

Also, Fake landing on the moon pie (sugar free)

European Breakfast

[rebelmouse-image 18350882 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Luft-waffles

Trail Of Beers

[rebelmouse-image 18346504 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I think it would be a 24-hour bar more than a diner:

Donner Party Platter - Serves 48!

Soft Pretzelvania

Trail of Beers - Beer Sampler

Cuban Reuben

[rebelmouse-image 18350883 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Reuben Missile Crisis

H/T: Reddit

People Describe The Real Reason They Cut Ties With Their Best Friend

Friendships are one the most important and intimate connections young people make. Friends are the people you are close to, who you grow up with, and who are always there for you when you need them.

A majority of people have best friends. That's the one friend who you trust and love above everyone else. The one who has proven he'll always be there for you and the one you're ready to drop everything for.

However, not all friendships are meant to last. Sometimes, one or both of you will change. Other times, you'll just drift apart. And sometimes, the friendship will end because of malicious actions. Redditors seem to have a lot of those stories!

Keep reading...Show less
People Share Their Best Tips For Teenagers
DonttouchmethereUwU/Reddit

One's teenage years are almost guaranteed to come with ups and downs.

With adulthood fast approaching, many spend those years enjoying their vanishing youth and living life to the fullest.

All the while undergoing significant physical and emotional change.

So, it's natural that everyone looks back on several fond memories of being a teenager, along with things we try to forget, or wish we handled differently.

As a result, we can't help but wish we could go back and give advice to our younger selves.

Keep reading...Show less
Divorced People Confess What Actually Ruined Their Marriage

Marriages fail for many reasons.

The truth is that many of them are avoidable reasons.

I always wonder what is at the crux of the dissolution of a love story.

Or maybe it's all like Buffy and Angel.

One partner will never have access to a full soul.

Whitney was right... "I'd rather be alone than unhappy!"

Keep reading...Show less
People Describe How The Smallest Amount Of Internet Fame Went To Someone's Head

Thanks to the internet and social media, it's never been easier to become famous.

Indeed, some people have used social media to such an effect, that they are as or more well known than any number of movie stars.

But others might have put something on the internet just for fun, unaware that they had a viral sensation on their hands ("Charlie bit my finger" anyone?).

Some people soak in this unexpected fame for a moment or two, and then let it pass as they go on with their lives.

Others, however, might enjoy being unexpectedly famous, and will relish in their unexpected celebrity for the rest of their lives.

No matter how small an audience their internet fame reached.

Keep reading...Show less