
History, as taught in most schools, should be considered a crime against children.
If Hamilton proved anything, it proved that history can ABSOLUTELY be interesting if you serve it with a little spice. Leaving out the juicy interesting bits is a disservice to us all.
So we're adding them back in.
Hamilton covered the romance, the beefs, and the rapping - so we're going to go in a different direction.
How 'bout a side of mystery with your history? (uh-uh. Stopping myself right there. There will be no rapping.)
Reddit user Apart-Scale asked:
"What historical mystery is unlikely to ever be solved?"
True crime lovers, history geeks, awful-sh*t aficionados and wizards of weird - this article is definitely for you.
Heads up, though, we need to add trigger warnings for:
harm/death of a child
murder
war/enslavement
domestic violence
... yeah humans are awful.
"Hun, Can We Talk?"
"What Pope Leo said to Attila the Hun."
"Attila was taking over the world and made it to Rome and the Vatican. Leo rode out alone and spoke to Attila and convinced Attila to not destroy Rome and the Vatican."
"What was said, only the archives of the Vatican has any idea."
- Xikkiwikk
"Unfortunately the answer is probably really mundane and disappointing."
"Like a lot of miraculous historical events, it probably boils down to 'the story is just bullsh*t we made up later cause it sounded good.' ”
"They could’ve just bribed the Huns."
"Italy and Rome weren’t particularly rich by that time, so throwing a bunch of gold at the Huns and being like 'here let me spare you the time and energy of sacking it all' could’ve ACTUALLY worked because there wasn't enough there worth sacking for yet."
"Or no conversation ever happened and it’s a story developed later as a way for the Church and the Pope to take credit. The Huns could’ve left for any reason."
"Maybe the Pope did try to negotiate, it failed, but the Huns left after that anyway. Pope and Church still take credit."
- pyrhus626
After Alcatraz
"Whether Frank Morris, John Anglin, and his brother Clarence Anglin survived their escape from Alcatraz Federal Prison."
- onefinegander
"The History Channel has a great documentary about this."
"The two brothers families claim they survived by tying a rope onto a boat and holding on, which they used to do for fun as kids. Their friend claims he took them to Mexico and they lived to old age there with families and everything. They even offer evidence; Christmas cards they received and even a photo of them old."
"I'm convinced it's true."
- Crepes_for_days3000
"Freezing waters, rumors of sharks, handmade boat from vests that they probably had to inflate again and again throughout their trip."
"I saw a picture somewhere which was taken in or around 1985 and there were 2 people which pretty much were the Anglin brothers (you can find it if you search)."
"A body was also discovered by the Norwegian Navy, and it matched the description of Frank Morris."
"To me, the Anglin brothers made it and Morris drowned. Maybe they couldn't carry so much weight and the brothers conspired against Morris? Who knows."
"Fascinating nonetheless."
- CookieAdmiral
Where's The Prime Minister?
"One of Australias Prime Ministers just disappeared when he went for a swim in the ocean, so probably that."
- hulloiliketrucks
"There were suspicions the CIA had a hand in his disappearance because the US was royally pissed at him over his refusal to allow a US military installation in Australia."
"There were also rumours he was kidnapped by a submarine but those were most likely started by the CIA."
- Spookyrabbit
"Wasn't it assumed he was eaten by a saltwater croc?"
- Pyroclastic_Hammer
"Shark got him."
- SuperTrojan
"Probably just drowned and sunk into the ocean."
"The ocean has a tendency to completely an entirely delete corpses once they sink to the bottom. This is why it's rare to find the bodies of plane crash victims and sunken boats."
"Everything at the bottom is evolved to eat corpses with increasing efficiency. Not even bones last most of the time."
- jerrythecactus
"So the mystery is what Australian sea monster had Prime Minister for lunch?"
- CRANSSBUCLE
Not Too Neighborly
"Not a huge historical event, but one that will haunt my local history for a long time to come, I'm sure. My neighbor killed his whole family, buried them in his house, then went for a trip."
"Nobody knows if he's dead or hiding somewhere; and if so, where? The police kind of screwed up the start of the investigation, so he had a good head start on them."
"I went to the same school as the kids but we weren't the same age, so we didn't end up in the same class. He sent increasingly strange letters to family and friends before he disappeared."
"We didn't really knew them beside living nearby and frequenting the same places as a result."
"His name is (or maybe was if he is dead?) Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès. This was about ten years ago and he was since then featured in multiple TV shows and books."
- deadalnix
Before The Ancient Egyptians
"The disappearance of the Lake Fayum nomadic people that predated the pharaohs."
"They had no writing, no records of any form, and lived solely near the banks of the Nile and an ancient lake. They had a community for a long time that included bakeries, agriculture, weaving, and some precursor to religious or artistic elements."
"One day, the people vanished. But I mean JUST the people."
"They left their fish in the cooking pots, dry food stored under the floorboards of their houses, and pottery still on the wheel. It was like they were picked up and carried away or the people suddenly left in a hurry and left everything behind."
"Then shortly after, the material culture of early Pre-Pharaonic Egyptian kingdoms arose."
"Some believe the fayum people migrated north to become the early Egyptians because of unusually arid conditions - but you don't leave food cooking if you're going to migrate. They were nomads, packing up and moving on was their thing. This wasn't how it was done."
"Others say they were killed or captured, but there were no signs of struggle and they possessed and left no weapons. Also, that doesn’t make sense. Why would the invading people leave their entire culture and settlement intact and just poof the people away?"
- Squaragus_Asparagus
"I’d suggest that they may have died suddenly and were then buried by survivors or visitors. Similar to what happened at Lake Nyos?"
"Hypothetical, of course, but not impossible."
- Scottzilla90
"I'd assume some other folks came in to town, highly outnumbered them, and enslaved them all without giving the chance to take anything but the clothes on their backs."
"Egypt was built on the backs of slaves after all."
"This could have been common practice since before the pharaohs, and the people in that village knew it would've just meant their death if they fight back, so they all complied and no one died on site."
- shastaxc
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...Read The Room
"What happened to the Amber Room."
"It was a big room in a Russian Palace that was covered ceiling to floor in sheets of amber and gold. The Amber Room was dismantled by Nazis and then all the pieces 'disappeared.' "
"Supposedly it was in a train carriage, hidden in some abandoned tunnels somewhere in Europe. The search continues even now."
"Germany helped build a replica in 2003, but the original panels and pieces are still missing."
- SweetieLove
"Sadly it was almost certainly destroyed during the burning of Königsberg Castle. It was its last known location, and a few non-flammable bits were found in the ruins."
- TheMightyGoatMan
"I had a Russian history professor at college who said that given the amount of debris from World War II in Russia that haven’t been found yet - he said that they continue to find train cars and other artifacts - he wouldn’t be surprised if it was just sitting around undiscovered in a lost train somewhere."
"I find it hard to believe, but it’s not like I have a PhD in Russian history to back anything up."
- Reasonable_Trash5928
"I think it’s just been broken down and scattered to many parts."
"They just found a sunken ship off the coast somewhere in Norway that supposedly has some pieces. On its way to South America with the rest of the Nazis stolen stuff."
- ksnizzo
Rasputin
"Rasputin."
"Even if he took the kings son off his asprin to help his hemophilia, how did he know to do that?"
"How did he even get so close with the royal family without anyone raising an eyebrow until it became completely public."
"Did Tsar Nicolas's advisories see nothing wrong with a homeless wizard being associated with the tsar?"
"How did he really die or how did he survive the shot and poison if that story is true? Just so many questions lost to time..."
- alexander_the_ok-
"The answers probably aren't lost to time; they are just ... kinda stupid."
" 'How did he know to do that?' Happy accident."
"Rasputin was a holy man who believed in the power of God over medicine, so he tried to cure the son with prayer. It's what any extremist would do."
"To the uncritical eye, it appeared he had cured him."
"How did he get so close? Alexandra."
"She was so insistent that he had healed her son and he became a confidant to her, even a best friend. She relied on his guidance and wouldn't listen to any bad words about him."
"When the Duma confronted Nicholas about how influential Rasputin appeared to be to his decision making and how bad it was making him look, he simply replied that he would rather deal with the bad press than feel his wife's wrath."
"Yes, advisors absolutely did see something wrong and speak up - but Nicholas was an autocrat so his decisions were final."
"As for the story of his death; the cyanide that Felix Yusapov had bought for the poisoning was later tested to be an inert powder."
"It's likely that a lot of the myth surrounding Rasputins death was invented by Yusapov himself as a way of making him sound like he had won some heroic battle rather than just shot an unarmed man 3 times and had him carelessly dumped in a river."
"Sadly, a lot of the stories that you hear about Rasputin are like this; tales that have been inflated over time to make him sound more like a mythical creature, rather than just a sexual predator and high powered manipulator hiding behind the fake persona of a man of God."
"There are a lot more Rasputins - manipulative predators hiding behind the persona of a man of God - out there."
- ImSigmundFraud
Mystery Men
"The missing men of Bermagui, NSW, Australia."
"Five men disappeared in the 19th century. Like completely vanished off the face of the planet, with some very confusing things left behind."
"So few people know this story, yet it's such a baffling one."
"The men, one of which was a geological surveyor, went on a trip to scout new gold mines along the coast. Three days later the boat was spotted sitting stationary with only one man aboard."
"Later that same day along the beach people found the boat and things got weird."
"From what I remember:"
"On the beach now called Mystery Bay (due to this mystery), there was a doused campfire with a meal for one, not quite finished."
"There was a boat nearby, which had been deliberately scuttled with holes made from the inside, rather than from the outside. At least some of the holes were confirmed to be bullet holes."
"The hull was also stuffed with rocks - but also pillows and clothes and everything was dry."
"Inside the boat were some papers belonging to one of the missing men, who was supposed to be taking a boat trip with a local policeman instead."
"Also inside the boat was at least one bullet cartridge and vomit, as though someone had maybe been seasick."
"The bay was right below the hilltop where two of the men had been camping, and the other three men who disappeared were boatmen."
"The problem is that there's no real evidence of a crime, so it's not considered an unsolved murder case. Five men vanished and there's all this confusing stuff, but it's not a crime. It's just... a mystery."
"Honestly, I'd believe alien abduction or sea monster over a crime, because I don't see how anyone could've killed that many men and not left evidence of it behind, even if it was a gang."
"There's a monument at the bay, but I've never been to that part of New South Wales. Would love to go, though."
- CeliaEquus
Baby Beauty
"Jon Benet Ramsey."
- lukovdolboy
"I don't remember the channel or program (I want to say PBS) but it was on child pageants and contestants. Jon Benet and another girl were the main ones because of all their wins."
"I swear it was PBS because I caught it at a weird hour and it all played back to back. It followed their circuit for maybe a year or so?"
"I mostly remember how pretty she was and learning words like 'flappers' (for hiding teeth) and just how much they go through to keep such a hectic schedule (the ones that went to lots of them) as far as school and even the practice and makeup and all that."
"It was such a blur."
"And I remember parents that didn't understand, or care, that their 4 year old had simply had enough."
"Not all were bad situations, many enjoyed it so it wasn't like an undercover or shockumentary or anything - but you could tell in some instances that being unhappy may be a norm for some of these babies."
"I remember the parents being especially cruel at times to the kids because of their frothing desire to always have winners. I remember Jon Benet saying she didn't want to do them anymore."
"It was uncomfortable to look at at times and it sure did stick with me. Next I had heard, that poor child was dead.
"I can't stop myself from believing the mom did it or had it done. I stay wondering about that baby."
- bonafidebunnyeyed
"Jon Benet and I were in pageants together."
"I knew her from age 3 til 6 and only a few things stand out from that time. Her whole family was always weird."
"We often stayed in the same hotels and her mom tried to control everything, I remember slipping her pieces of my waffle at breakfast since her mom only let her eat yogurt."
"I distinctly remember seeing her face and the words 'dead' and 'murder' on tabloids in the grocery store and asking my mom what murder meant."
"It was very upsetting and still breaks my heart."
- clarissaswallowsall
"Agreed. Whoever really knows what really happened has been keeping their secret(s) for a very long time and will likely take those secrets to their grave if they haven't already."
"I also think the truth is likely something we could never think of because it's such a unique situation."
"Web sleuths and journalists seem to have a very hard time figuring out what's important and relevant and what's not. I think many people point the finger at someone in the family, while others still think it's an intruder."
"I still have no idea what really happened but I wish someone would just come forward with the truth already."
- Hotlikessauce69
The Vault
"There is a huge ancient temple in south India with vaults full of treasure that have been locked since God knows when."
"Historians tried opening a few and it is said that those who entered the vault were never the same after they came back."
"Some people believe it was cursed. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with superstition and everything to do with stuff that may have grown or been trapped inside coz it was undisturbed for many hundreds of years."
"I read on it and it appears they opened 5 small vaults and there is one massive one which holds around 1 trillion dollars worth treasure but it is sealed and they are not able to open it without destroying the 500 year+ old monument."
"The problem is that the temple is covered with gold so any damage would cost a fortune. I would love for someone to solve the mystery but for now government has sealed it away forever."
- Venomally
Reddit has had their turn, now it's yours.
What unsolved-something are you pretty sure we're never going to know the truth about?
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It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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