Historians Share The Strangest Chain Of Events That Played Out In The Past
Historians have a frustrating job, presumably because there are so many people out there who seem pretty intent on repeating our history... which sort of goes against the very point in the first place.
History is also chockfull of chain reactions, some stranger than others, that shaped the world as we know it today. Quite a few were explored after Redditor unchainedrobots asked the online community:
"Historians of Reddit, what is the strangest chain of events you have studied?"
"President Andrew Jackson..."Giphy
"President Andrew Jackson was walking out of the Capitol Building with his buddy Congressman Davey Crockett. A man approached them, drew a gun, but it misfired. The man drew a second gun, which also misfired. Andrew Jackson, fairly old at this point, lifted his cane and began beating the would be assassin. Normally, people would react with "justice served," but Jackson was beating him so badly that Davey Crockett had to pull Jackson off his would be assassin, who was arrested shortly after."
"The would be assassin stood trial, represented by lawyer Francis Scott Key, author of the Star Spangled Banner, and was the first American to be found not guilty by reason of insanity."
"Pretty much the fall of the Berlin Wall. The USSR was already crumbling by this point and so they agreed to allow the wall to be opened for a bit. Well the guy in charge over in Berlin didn't really get the point across to the public very well and as a result everyone assumed that the wall was permanently coming down. This led to pretty much all of East Berlin flocking to the wall and demanding to be let through. The guards there knew there was no way to restrain all these people without a massacre occurring and the Russian government had no real way of easily fixing the huge mistake. And so the Berlin Wall fell, all because of a misinterpretation."
"The events that led and culminated in the War of the Bucket for sure. Essentially one Italian State who followed Holy Roman Emperor stole a bucket from another Italian State who followed the pope. War broke out, The papal state highly outnumbered the HRE state, but HRE state won. Then stole another bucket. Was a trip for sure when I learned about this one."
"They invented tonic water."
"British officers in India in the 18th century were eating quinine powder to help treat malaria. Quinine is so bitter on its own so they started putting it in their club soda to make it easier to down. They invented tonic water. Brought the water back to Europe and they started putting it in their gin. Hence, gin and tonic."
"Horses evolved in North America, spread during pre-historical times into Asia, and then later went extinct in North America. If things had been only slightly different, horses could have been native only to the Americas, or just completely extinct by pre-history. Not having horses would have made a huge difference to Asian & European history: no Mongol invasions, no European knights."
"This leads to..."Giphy
"Recent history but it still boggles my mind."
"Jeri Ryan gets cast on Star Trek: Voyager as Seven of Nine."
"Jeri Ryan divorces her husband."
"Her ex husband, Jack, with a really strong resume and a lot of money, announces a Senate campaign in the state of Illinois in 2004. His entry in the race is enough that it is now considered a tossup."
"Because both Jeri and Jack are public figures journalists push for their divorce records to be released and a major factor in their spilt was Jack's desire to have sex in public locations."
"Jack Ryan drops out and the GOP struggles to find a replacement."
"This leads to an overwhelming victory from the Democratic challenger, Barack Obama."
"The entire Obama presidency exists because some writers in the 90s wanted a Borg girl in their show."
"Probably how Pepsi..."
"Probably how Pepsi briefly became the 6th largest military in the world."
"In 1959, President Eisenhower wanted to show the Soviet Union how great America was, so the government set up an "American National Exhibition" and sent Vice President Nixon there."
"Well Nixon and Soviet leader Khrushchev got in an argument over Communism vs Capitalism. As it got heated the President of Pepsi stepped in and was like, "Bro Khrushchev, chill out, have a Pepsi."
"Khrushchev must of loved that, because then the Soviet Union wanted to permanently bring Pepsi over to their country. The problem is that their money wasn't accepted throughout the world. Instead, like true Russians, the Soviet Union traded vodka for Pepsi."
"This was all good until the late 1980s when their contract was going to expire and vodka wouldn't cut it for payment. So instead they traded Pepsi a ton of submarines and warships for 3 billion dollars worth of Pepsi."
"Sadly instead of terrorizing the seas and shooting harpoons at their enemies, Pepsi decided to sell the fleet to a Swedish scrap metal company."
"As a boxing historian..."
"As a boxing historian probably the story of an ancient Greek boxer named Kleomedes"
"Apparently while in the Olympic final, he killed his opponent by stabbing his fingers into his opponents chest, killing him. Which means he loses due to a strange and awesome rule was if your opponent was killed by the fight, he automatically won. So despite surviving the fight, Kleomedes is judged the loser. No glory or olive wreath."
"Returns home to Astypalaia and lapses into deep depression. Commits the the first mass murder of school children after punching a support beam so hard the school fell down. All the kids die. Angry mob forms to kill Kleomedes who takes shelter in a giant chest in the temple of Athena. Townsfolk storm the temple and try to pry open the chest. End up having to rip it apart board by board. But when they got it open there was nothing in it."
"Naturally the people didn't know what to make of it. So they send people to the oracle of Delphi. Who declared that Kleomedes was The Last True Astypalaian and that he be worshipped as a Demigod."
"That is how an olympic boxer became a deity of fertility after murdering a ton of kids."
"So in 1968..."
"Nixon created a chain of events that I find hard to believe."
"So in 1968 Lyndon Johnson is president, he's a Democrat, and the Democrats are having issues, the party is majorly spit up between segregation issues, and they hate the Vietnam war that the country is stuck in."
"Nixon starts promising to end the draft, and he also proclaimed that he had a plan to end the war."
"Just before the election that year, on Halloween, (a Thursday) LBJ gets on the news, and declares that the war is almost over, and peace is at hand. The North Vietnamese were participating in peace talks, and all war activity had been suspended. They left the peace talks because NIXON HIMSELF told them that if they kept the war going for one extra week, HE WOULD OFFER THEM A BETTER DEAL ONCE HE WAS IN POWER."
"So by Saturday, the North Vietnamese had walked out of the peace talks, and the war was back on. The election on the next Tuesday, went to Nixon, but barely. The war continued for another five years, and in that time 15k Americans died, as well as who knows how many Vietnamese."
"LBJ knew about it at the time, because he had wire tapped the South Vietnamese ambassador as well as several others, and felt he could not reveal the extent of the wire tapping that Americans were guilty of. Even if it meant Nixon got away with treason."
"And it does."
"So, the Han heard the Qin were fond of mega projects and massive infrastructure investments, so they found a hydraulics engineer and sent him over to sell them on an absurd canal idea; build a massive canal to use runoff water from two flood-prone rivers to irrigate worthless plains. Tame the rivers' flooding, irrigate wasteland, everybody wins! And in the Han's schemes, it's an absurdly large project that will keep the Qin diverted and invested for decades."
"And it does. Except about halfway through, the Qin caught on to this and confront their hydraulics engineer; Zheng Gou, presumably confronted with whatever creative thing(s) they do to spies and saboteurs, throws himself on Qin mercy;"
"Yeah, I'm a spy, yeah, it was to sabotage your efforts- but I'm really an engineer, guys, and this will really work, honest! Let me finish it, and please don't do that thing with the cheese grater-"
"The Qin, presumably, conclude they can always torture him to death later, and let him remain in charge of the project."
"And wonder of wonders, it works. Thousands of hectares or rich but fallow desert are turned into fertile farmland. Existing farmland is made safer by giving the flooding rivers runoff channels. The canal makes the Qin rich beyond their already immense wealth, which they turn to larger armies, eventually crushing the Han and (briefly) uniting China."
"We learnt about this is school: in the 1950s in Borneo they were suffering from an outbreak of malaria, so, with the help of the world health organization, they sprayed DDT all over the island to kill the mosquitos. But the DDT also killed the islands wasps which helped control the population of thatch eating caterpillars, thatch that people's homes were made of, and thanks to this, their roofs began to collapse."
"Many other small insects started to get affected by the DDT, which were eaten by geckos, the geckos developed a tolerance to the DDT but the cats who ate the geckos didn't, and the cat population started to die off. This led to the islands rat population increasing greatly. And that's the story of how an island with a malaria problem, lead to cats being airdropped into Borneo."
"A Chinese man wanted to create a potion to become immortal instead he accidentally created gunpowder."
"This is an older BBC series called Connections, with James Burke hosting and it is incredibly fascinating. You can watch most of the episodes on Youtube. It's kind of what you're asking about, chains of events throughout history. From the Normans horse stirrups to mine shafts to vacuums to telecommunications, all connected. I highly recommend anyone give this a try."
MP Noel Pemberton Billing
"In 1918, British MP Noel Pemberton Billing caused a major scandal when he accused actress Maud Allan, and Margot Asquith, wife of the previous Prime Minister, of being at the centre of a homosexual ring sabotaging the war effort. Evidence included Allan having performed in a play by Oscar Wilde, and Asquith having attended the performance. He presented his case in an article entitled "The Cult of the Clitoris", in which he claimed the exiled prince of Albania had a black book, listing all the blackmailed homosexuals in Britain."
"Maud Allan (who was in fact homosexual; Asquith was not) sued for libel, but lost. During the trial, one witness claimed to have seen the Albanian prince's black book, and claimed that the judge's name was in it."
The immovable ladder!
"The immovable ladder!"
"Guy leaves ladder leaning against wall of the church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem some time before 1728. A thing called the Status Quo happens in 1757 which means don't touch stuff on holy sites."
"Ladder is still there."
Fact will always be stranger than fiction.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
People Who Make More Money From Their Side Hustles Than Their Day Jobs Share Their Experiences
In this day and age, it's not uncommon for people to have a side gig -- an extra job as a way to make more money -- aside from their regular 9 to 5.
It's also not super uncommon for some of these people to find that their side gig can -- and sometimes does -- pay them more than their 9 to 5.
My best friend is a brilliant journalist by trade, but he makes way more money by freelance editing than he does as at the paper he writes for. Freelance editing is a side gig, however. He doesn't do it all the time, and yet makes enough to pay his monthly rent just by doing one freelance job!
Redditors have discovered other side gigs that pay them more than their regular 9 to 5, and are ready to share their experidnces.
It all started when Redditor DonkKinnis asked:
"People that actually found a side hustle that makes more than your 9-5, what was it?"
I Need A Weapon
"Making swords, it started as a hobby - like let's see where we can take it. It is now a company with 15 guys employed, and 1,500+ swords a year. Best job ever"
"You’re living my husbands dream. He would love to forge swords as a hobby. If you feel so inclined, can you message me with info on your starter setup? It’s my goal to surprise him someday with a fully functioning beginner forge, but I have no idea where to start"
"Lucky for you guys England and France are at war. Business must be booming."
Happy And Healthy
"I was a therapist for 5 years in acute inpatient psych, and I burned out HARD. From awful pay, zero security, staff getting cut but workload increasing, and the work culture being one of “suffering Olympics” where you’d see who can work the most on the least sleep, it was inhumane."
"In the last 2 years, I turned my photography hobby into a successful business! I shoot weddings, elopements, couples’/family sessions, you name it. I work much less and make much more, plus the second hand dopamine is fantastic for my own mental health."
"Me, working inpatient psych as a nurse, studying this thread like my life depends on it."
"I sculpt miniatures for 3D printing, RPG, DnD etc. I make roughly triple what I was doing at a previous ''real'' entry job."
Just Whistle While You Work
"Cleaning houses makes pretty good money. It's surprising how much people will pay you to just come in once a week and do a little cleaning."
"My dad told me once of a acquaintances wife who started a cleaning business. Not by hour but charged for the task. Floors swept and mopped was $xx dishes done and benches wiped $xx carpets vaccumed $xx bathroom cleaned $xx toilet $xx. It worked brilliantly esp for young busy working men. Having set prices for set tasks was easier for them to get their heads around than 3-4 hours cleaning. She did very very well out of it"
Flowers DO Cost A Fortune!
"Wedding Florist. Quit the 9-5 last year!"
"I sell brownies on delivery apps"
"There is a kid who did this with frozen pizzas from his apartment on YouTube."
"This is f-ing brilliant."
I Want One!
"I sew stuffed animals, quilts and sometimes children’s clothing. I use to work in a nearby hospital working with Covid patients and Covid samples. I can make my old paycheck in a day if I spend the entire day working."
Should I Be Scared?
"Building killer stereo systems I’ve also have been building patio chairs really just making stuff if you can make it but make it well and take pride in your craftsmanship there’s a market for it"
"Read this too fast and thought it said “serial killer system” and I was very confused and slightly worried for a moment."
A New Idea Is A Good Idea
"I’m a software engineer. I had a coworker who was into bowling and couldn’t find an app he liked to track his stats, so he wrote one himself after using it, his friends started asking if he could give it to them. He put it on the App Store. Within a year close to half his income was coming from his app selling."
"He tried to repeat his success a few times, but none of his other apps ever caught on."
Didn't Even Know This Was A Thing
"So technically I don’t have a 9-5 cause I’m a student, but it’s still a VERY well paying hustle."
"Essentially all I do I drive around the city, go to random stores, buy a lottery ticket, see if they ask for ID, and leave. Then I fill out some paperwork, and I’m done."
"They compensate full gas charge, and give roughly 30$ per store. I can easily do 20 stores in a day. The problem is once all the stores are done, I can’t check anymore."
"I'm the unofficial tech guy for a pretty large retirement community. It started by me setting up a dvd player for my grandma, she started telling her neighbors and now one day a week I go by and will spend the day doing minor stuff for tech illiterate people. Half the time it replacing batteries, allot of the residence are given computers their kids or grand kids that ill set up for them. I charge next to nothing, but usually will ask for the old tech if im replacing something which i refurbish and sell. Alot of people buy their grandma new mac book every 2 years that are barely used, then given to me."
Fun, Fun, Fun
"I became an Uber driver and make over 10k a month these days. Really enjoying it too."
Music Ties It Together
"I started a wedding DJ business and found people were willing to pay a premium for a non-cheesy DJ who doesnt make the night or party about them. Even though I only worked Friday-Sat-Sundays due to weddings mostly being held on these days, I was making 2x my 9-5 job."
"This day and age it does make sense to do this. Invest in a good sound system. Invest in a decent light setup. Be sure to have a wi-fi connection at the venue so if someone requests a song you can easily download it. Watch people have a great time"
The Universe At Work
"I left my job in publishing and performed the same functions on a freelance basis for about two years."
"I made only about 5-10 percent less gross. Once you factor in my lack of commute to Manhattan, not havimg to buy clothing for work, not getting lunch out, etc., net was only single digits less."
"It was also cool because every so often the universe would toss me a random extra day off. That was hard to give up."
Check And Mate
"I make custom chess board sets for professional chess players."
I understand. I would pay big money for one of those!
Do you have a side hustle we should know about? Let us know in the comments.
Men Share The Question They've Always Wanted To Ask Women But Were Too Nervous
Let's be honest: men and women are different, and even that statement is pretty diminutive of the truth.
Men and women feel things differently. They think about things differently and go through different things. Their experiences and knowledge base are different.
Sometimes, this means men and women don't understand each other very well. The best way to solve a mystery is to ask a question, but men sometimes feel nervous about doing so. They don't want to offend women by getting too personal, and they don't know how else to proceed.
That's why it's a good thing Reddit exists. Men have finally asked their questions, and women have answered!
It all started when Redditor Asking35 asked:
“Men, what is something about women you are curious about but too afraid to ask?"
"What’s with all the pillows?"
"They make this glorious nest so I can sleep on my side without my hips tightening overnight, support behind my back and shoulders, support against my boobs, good positioning for my arms and legs, etc..."
"It's wonderfully comfy and cozy."
Health Is Hard
"Why do you steal my food"
"You left it unguarded lol"
""I'll have the 'My wife's not hungry". It comes with French fries, onion rings, and chicken nuggets."
"omg I've been waiting for the opportunity to answer this!"
"I don't know about other women, but for me it's because my husband isn't as health conscious about what he eats as I am. And I know that doesn't make sense at first but hear me out..."
"I don't have the same metabolism as my husband and have to monitor what I eat not to gain weight, which I don't like doing cuz it makes my back hurt. The problem is, my husband constantly brings home junk food or take out. He'll always ask if I want something from taco bell or Wendys or something and I'll say no because I genuinely don't want him to bring me any cuz I'm trying to be healthy. But it's always wishful thinking because as soon as he comes home and I catch a whiff of those McDonald's fries I literally can't resist eating some. Or when we're on the couch and he's munching on a cheesy taco, my salad start to look less appetizing and I find myself just staring at his food."
"This never happened when I lived alone because I would just buy healthy groceries so there wouldn't be any junk food at home tempting me with their seductive amazingness. And when I eat out alone I just order something healthy and there's nobody there tempting me with their delicious plate of nachos."
"So yeah to sum it up it's basically just me wishing to eat healthy but then not having any self control when my partner indulges in junk food in front of me."
"Any guys out there, if you want to test if your girl is doing the same thing, try eating healthier and see if she tries to steal your bowl of brown rice with veggies the same as she steels your fries. If she has no problem leaving your food alone when you eat healthier, then maybe stop eating junk food in front of her lol. Or continue, but just expect that she is not going to want to order whole meal but is going to have trouble resisting a couple fries when the smell hits her."
Confidence Is Key
"Do you actually like it when a man approaches you with the intention of asking you on a date? I don't mean catcalling and that sort of weird sh*t, just being genuine and straightforward."
"Depends on the situation. And talk to/get to know me first."
"Also, if I say “no” don’t persist."
"Depends a little on how. If it's someone I've already met a couple of times, like a colleague/fellow student or friend of a friend, I don't mind if he is forward and asks me out - that confidence is attractive, and something I'd envy him, lol."
"If its someone I don't know or just met I prefer if he gives me his contact information rather than asking for mine. I'll most likely say no if it is the latter."
"Something simple like, "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to go out sometime to get to know you better. Here's my number". That puts me less on the spot and if he's not my type there won't be the awkwardness of immediate rejection."
"But that's just me."
"Do you admire a guy after he chooses to be vulnerable and bare it all in front of you?"
"Yes. Personally, I have a hard time opening up and just talking about my feelings in general. Whenever my husband does, it makes me feel like I’m doing something right."
Sending A Message
"Why do they all put their hand on their man’s stomach for photos?"
"We want to make sure whomever is looking at the pic to know this is my romantic partner, not my friend."
"Mine, that’s why."
"Is there a calendar function to the menstrual cycle that you guys have memorized? Like does it happen some time on X number week of the month or is it much more systematic and occurs every 30/31 days?"
"First of all, the period is the first 5-7 days of the menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle is 28-35 days long."
"Everyone is different. Some people it’s every 28 days on the dot exactly, other people it’s “oh it’ll happen sometime this week” and some people it can vary massively. The average is every 28 days but a normal (normal meaning not to be concerned about) is 28-35 days. And then some people do not have a regular cycle, I myself have had it go from 32 - 52 days in the last year."
"Your period happens 12-14 days after you ovulate, which happens on day 12-14 in a 28 day menstrual cycle. The time in between is called the luteal phase. Then your period starts, and the cycle starts over on day 1."
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
"Hmm, well I've always wondered why women need an entire Sephora store's worth of makeup just to go to the grocery store. But I'm pretty sure if I ask that question out loud, I'll get hit with a mascara wand. So I'll just keep wondering in silence."
"I’ll gladly answer this without throwing anything at you!😂 Make-up is fun; it really is that simple for a lot of us. That’s along with wanting to look our best, which in turn makes us feel our best."
I Don't Get Cold...Sort Of
"How are y’all not freezing when you wear dresses to the club in winter"
"We are. We’re just tougher than men ;)"
"It’s not that we aren’t cold most times, it’s that we are taught by society in general that we have to ignore our own comfort for other people."
It's Mine Now
"Why do you take our hoodies and never give them back?"
"Because they smell good and they're comfy :)"
"what part of the male body are you attracted to"
"Hands that are well kept and groomed finger nails, nice eyebrows and eyes"
"I personally like a nicely trimmed beard. Scraggly beards look horrible IMO."
Hear Me Coming
"Do y'all ever wear heels just to hear the clip-clopping of them on the pavement like you're the main character in a movie? Because that's what I'd do if I wore heels, and I wish to know if there's a woman out there whose brain is on my wavelength or if this is just me."
"Yup. but the feeling is stronger when walking in a fancy building"
"I choose my heels by a) how they look b) how they sound. If they are quiet, I don’t usually get them."
Exactly! What's the point of quiet heels?
Thanks to the ladies of Reddit for sharing their responses to some of these Redditor's questions.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
I've never dated someone older.
Just hasn't happened.
I'm not averse to it, but I'd feel more comfortable with someone closer in age.
I hear there are a ton of benefits, though.
Learning. Growing. Sharing.
It can be comforting to be with someone who has navigated life in certain ways already.
Redditor hotmomkaia asked:
"Men of Reddit! What are the advantages of dating an older woman?"
The Reddit community opened up about their dating experiences.
RandyOlivia Wilde Reaction GIFGiphy
"I've dated some older women who were frisky as hell."
"My girlfriend is only a few years older than me, but she is BY FAR the horniest I've been with."
Talk 2 Me
"The communication. An older woman that can communicate well will cut through the bulls**t and get straight to what she wants and expects. It’s refreshing as hell."
"Yeah agree. My GF and I are both in our late 50s. Had a long talk on the phone last night and spent some time talking about potential issues between us. Both of us have come out of long and not particularly pleasant marriages."
"We each have low maintenance adult kids. We both have our own places so we don't have to be in each other's space all the time. We are both financially secure so if we want to spend money on some together time then we just do it. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Older women play less mind games than younger women do. They're more straight up, and often know what they want. The difference between an older woman flirting and a younger woman flirting, in my experience, is night and day."
"Younger woman flirting: 'Hey I like your hair, can I touch it?' Older women flirting: 'I am absolutely swooning over you. If I wasn't married, you'd be with me tonight.'"
"I've been with a few older women, I have also dated women of a closer age. In my personal experience I will say that older women communicate much more, don't have unrealistic standards, they have a lot more experience both in life and the bedroom. The biggest one of all is that older women are just super hot! Is there anything I've missed?"
Eat Updinner GIFGiphy
"She knows where/what she wants to eat."
"Right, but she still won’t tell you."
The food argument has been the downfall of many a couple. Just pick a place!
She KnowsGrowth Growing GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphy
"Maturity. It’s night and day. Most older women actually have their lives together and don’t play the childish game of validation."
"When I was 18 I dated a 28 year old for about a year. I wasn't a virgin, but my experience up until then was just awkward teenage sexual stuff. She taught me the value of the non-sex parts of a sexual relationship. How to listen and learn what your partner enjoys and how to communicate what you enjoy. She helped mature my views on relationships, foreplay and sex in ways that someone my age wouldn't have been able to."
"I’m not dating an older woman but I am in a sexual friendship with a 49 year old mom (we have an agreement that the sex will stop but the friendship will continue if either of us get in a serious relationship). She is extremely good at responding to text messages and being on time. She even apologized for being five minutes late one time. I love this about her because most people I know can’t freaking answer their phone."
"Depends what you are after but I found that there was less pressure of 'is this going to be long term' as you both have realistic expectations up front and know that will not change. Generally because of that, I found there was never any drama and just honest conversations. With one, she would actually talk about what sort of woman she saw me ending up with one day. No jealousy, just an understanding that we were enjoying each other's company for now."
Helping Mearchivesontario yes GIF by Archives of Ontario | Archives publiques de l'OntarioGiphy
"I'm not dating an older woman, mainly because I'm married to one."
"She is 5 years older than me, but it sometimes seems like a much bigger gap when you account for maturity level."
"She's actually helped me do a better job of understanding and managing my emotions, which is nice."
"Perhaps more confidence, steadiness, realism, honesty to themselves and others, fewer illusions and less sensitivity to influence. All just generalisations from my own experience. I don't have mommy issues or anything but I feel more comfortable and equal with slightly older women. I know myself pretty well, I'm pretty independent and I'm not being pushed either."
Love who you love.
Age is only a number.
Do you have any experiences or lessons to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Sex and love.
The heart, the brain, and the body can fall into a "love daze."
Maybe because we've been taught to place too much importance on these matters.
Life can be very fulfilling with love and very complete without them.
But Reddit had a few things to say about dispelling some common misconceptions.
Redditor These-Froyo2242 asked:
"What are some misconceptions about sex or relationships that many people believe?"
Love and sex are misconceptions in general.
Not a FixDont Touch Me Go Away GIF by One ChicagoGiphy
"That your relationship problems or lack of sex gets better when you get married. LOL."
"Or have a child! Yeah cause the incredibly hard task of keeping a tiny human alive will most def help a failing relationship!"
"Getting a girlfriend will not automatically make your depression and self hatred magically disappear."
"At the time I didn't know I had chronic depression so I was confused too. When puberty started my happiness was gone. I had no friends so I thought friends would fix me."
"I got amazing friends and even if I had wonderful adventures with them when I was home alone I cried every time. Then started to think I just needed a gf... And when I had one, the most amazing girl in the world I still felt empty and sad. She suffered a lot because she noticed my struggle and I was an idiot. She left me without knowing how much I loved her."
"That you won't ever have a fight or argument, that it's easy peasy lemon squeezy."
"Yes, but how you disagree matters a lot. Arguments should not devolve into name calling, extended shouting matches, or berating, and it's GOOD to take breaks to calm down/regulate if you're upset. And if one partner is regularly berating the other it's a really really bad thing and not a 'typical argument.'"
"That you have to put up with bulls**t just because it's a relationship. People seem to think it's normal to put up with someone giving you grief just because you're going out with them. Don't put up with behavior in relationships that you wouldn't expect from a best friend."
"To an extent. I think relationships are more complex than that. It can bring out a different side of you when it's a life partner that you feel you need to trust and count on and vice versa. What matters is that you both acknowledge faults, issues and work through them together to improve."
Unhealthynew girl help GIFGiphy
"Drama = passion. That's unhealthy. Be happy in contentment."
"I always hated that the TV show New Girl fell into this trap. They put the main character into the healthiest relationship she has in the whole show then... she dumps him because they never fight? Yeah that's a healthy message to the audience."
Don't use movie and TV love as a blueprint.
Be YouTreat Yourself GIF by blackbearGiphy
"That how my partner sees or treats me is a reflection of how desirable or lovable I am. Nah. If someone doesn't appreciate you or isn't attracted to you, that's about them. Don't change yourself for other people. Be your own person. Love yourself."
"Sex should be fun and natural, and it's ok and not a problem if your partner, says not tonight I'm knackered from work. They still want you they still want to be with you. They are just tired from work, but people get too hung about sex in a relationship. Yes it's definitely a huge part of the closeness in a relationship, but your relationship shouldn't be defined on sex alone."
"If you are just in it for your own pleasure, it’s gonna be bad sex. Sex is a team sport."
"Say it louder for the people in the back please. Last person i was with wanted to do it all the time, but I didn't always have the same energy. he started complaining about me not putting in the effort and I'm like... we just screwed 4 hours ago idk what you expect."
"Also, as a woman, that being desirable is the ultimate goal for a healthy and pleasing sex life. My sexual experience is so much more than my body and it's appearance/desirability. Sex should be mutually pleasing. As women, I think we are fed a lot of crap about what being sexy means. It's good to unpack all of that and ask yourself what YOU want."
Like A...like a virgin madonna GIFGiphy
"It's okay to be a virgin. It should not be stigmatized."
"Absolutely. For years I thought I was broken because I was a virgin in my mid 20s. When I finally lost it when I was 28, I wondered why everyone made such a big deal about it."
All Sizes Welcome
"It’s okay to be average sized in the pants. Many women have said they prefer average."
"Penis size and confirmation gets talked about all the time, but there’s also a lot of variation in labial and vaginal size and conformation. Physical sexual compatibility relies a lot on how those sizes relate and to be honest the rest of your anatomy and preferred sexual positions also tie in to it."
There's quite a lot to unpack here! It seems that open honest communication between partners is best.
Do you have any wisdom to share? Let us know in the comments below.