Hiring Managers Break Down The Biggest Red Flags They've Seen On A Resume
I tend to be more frustrated by hiring managers than feel sympathy for them, but I have to say that I've heard some pretty hilarious stories from a few of them about the worst resumes they've seen. One of my favorites: The woman whose experience was otherwise perfectly suited for the position but whose email was "f***b******getmoney" @ whatever-the-hell-it-was.com.
After Redditor Stairway756 asked the online community, "Hiring Managers, what is the biggest red flag on a resume?" the hiring managers of the world weighed in. We're cringing on their behalf.
"You see some insane emails."
A very unprofessional email is definitely one. You see some insane emails. I knew someone who got an email address that had "big daddy" in it.
"I'm all for being tolerant..."
I once had a guy submit a resume saying that he could not work with women or speak to any woman due to religious reasons. I'm all for being tolerant of other people's beliefs but this was for a customer service job. If you can't interact with women at all then maybe this wasn't the kind of job he should have been applying for.
"Doesn't stop me from hiring anyone..."
Doesn't stop me from hiring anyone, but changes things up when someone says they speak another language. If it's Spanish, you'll be interviewed in Spanish. Sometimes that goes very poorly for the applicant.
"I asked the recruiter..."
The guy who applied for a design job and attached a photoshopped image of him as a centaur comes to mind. Also typos. I was hiring a very senior level person who seemed like they could do an amazing job, but there were SEVERAL typos on her resume. I asked the recruiter to let her know.
"We had an application..."
We had an application where the applicant had a felony on their record. They spent half a page in the middle of their resume explaining how the felony wasn't their fault and that we should hire them. Their felony was from stealing from another department from the last time they worked at the company they were applying to. It's a big company so it think they were hoping we wouldn't care since we were in a different department. I don't know how they made it through the HR pre-screen and how they weren't on the do-not-hire list.
"I've seen someone..."
I've seen someone put their certificate of baptism under Certificates and Awards.
"A water mark..."
A water mark of their face on each page of a resume.
"To this day..."
I once interviewed a woman for an IT job.
Me: What do you find most challenging about your work?
Applicant: Chinese people.
To this day, I still can't believe someone would give that answer in a job interview.
Any type of MLM. First, it's not a real job. Second, it shows a lack of judgement. Third, it says to me that you don't have a good work ethic.
"I like descriptions..."
Buzzword salad - listing every hot technology plus ridiculous stuff. Example: "Experience in C#, Java, SQL, XML, json, csv, postgresql, SQL server..." If you're listing file formats and several flavors of SQL it's a bit much.
I like descriptions of the work you did, like "Created a Java app that fetches XML files from an SFTP and parses the data, applies business logic requirements which I helped define with the accounting department, and loads results into an AuroraDB." That's the kind of line I would ask about and try to dig in and find out what you really know.
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Content Warning: Gore, horror, cannibalism.
Reading is an incredible pastime that can not only entertain but help to expand your mind.
But there are plenty of stories out there that will leave its readers chilled or up at night, possibly for weeks, thinking about what they've read.
Currently reading Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk, Redditor Kooky_Bicycle8475 asked:
"What is the most f**ked up book you've ever read?"
'The Metamorphosis' by Franz Kafka
"I read 'Metamorphosis' to see if it was really as cursed as everyone says it is."
"Yeah, I underestimated it. It was even worse."
'The Jungle' by Upton Sinclair
"'The Jungle' by Upton Sinclair actually made me puke."
'Cows' by Matthew Stokoe
"'Cows' by Matthew Stokoe."
"I read it in eighth grade and I regret reading it, it was so gross."
'Unwind' by Neal Shusterman
"'Unwind' by Neal Shusterman. There’s a scene in the book of it (unwinding) happening and I literally couldn’t sleep for a week."
"It really stayed with me and it took that same week for me to pick the book back up and finish it. So f**ked up and I felt that kids fear every step of the way."
'Outer Dark' by Cormac McCarthy
"Probably 'Outer Dark' by Cormac McCarthy. I read it years ago, and it still lives in my head."
'Wild Highway' by Bill Drummond and Mark Manning
"The most depraved book I've ever read is 'Wild Highway' by Bill Drummond and Mark Manning."
"Former KLF art terrorists on a quest to find Mobutu in former Zaire. Deeply racist, homophobic, misogynist, and violent. But can just about be read as the darkest possible satire, which I think it is. Probably."
"The only book where I actually, genuinely couldn't believe that what I was reading had been published. Just completely insane."
'House of Leaves' and 'The Hot Zone'
"House of Leaves... not really f**ked up, just a weird a** read. Words can't really describe it. It's hard to read as well. Took about 100 pages before it got to the point where I didn't want to put it down."
"'The Hot Zone' and 'Demons in the Freezer' also. Kind of non-fiction written in a very story-driven manner. Both are scary beyond anything because one deals with filovirus like Ebola, and the other talks about smallpox."
"The one on smallpox states that each of the three level-4 labs in the world had a supply of smallpox. When the USSR fell, so did their Level-4 lab. Guess what? Their supply of smallpox is in the wind, no one knows where it went, so 1/3 of the world's supply may very well be in the hands of terrorists."
"My wife read 'The Hot Zone' when she was five months pregnant, and she couldn't make it past the first 40 pages."
'The Good Old Days' by Ernst Klee et al.
"'The Good Old Days' by Ernst Klee, Willi Dressen and Volker Reiss. It's an exhaustive compilation of all the documents kept by the Nazis of the Holocaust, as they were committing it (they were fastidious record-keepers and still had tons left over despite trying to destroy evidence in the final days)."
"Most people don't know this, and I didn't before I read this book, that the killing of Jewish people started when Polish citizens started dragging their Jewish neighbors to the local gas station or other public square-type areas, to beat them to death with lead pipes as their other neighbors cheered them on."
"Germany started institutionalizing this murder by then taking trucks loaded with hundreds of people at a time (this is after sequestering all the Jewish people into ghettos where they were told they were being held for 'processing'), taking them out to the woods, and shooting them all to death 10 at a time. They'd kill men one day, women another day, kids the next, and each day they'd do as many as 10,000 people."
"Then, when the Nazis found that their soldiers were suffering PTSD from literally killing truckloads of kids with machine guns every day, they started rerouting the exhaust systems on transport vans so prisoners would be asphyxiated in the back of them."
"And then, of course, the SS soldiers in charge were complaining about the disturbing noises they were hearing as people begged for their lives in death, as well as the horrific mess of tortured bodies they came upon when opening up the back of these vans."
"And then Siemens Corporation, a major German corporation which all of you will recognize is still in business today, discovered that a pesticide they developed, Zyklon B, was the most effective tool for asphyxiation. And this was YEARS after the Holocaust started. Millions were already dead, but many millions more would die to Zyklon B in just the last few years of the war."
"So yeah, I bring this book up whenever some absolute ignorant jacka** tries to claim 'it wasn't as bad as they claimed it was' or that 'it didn't happen.' My grandfather liberated one of those camps and has the photos to prove it."
"Most disturbing book I've ever read and I don't even think I made it all the way to the end."
'1984' by George Orwell
"I read '1984' when I was 14 or 15 years old, and it kind of really hit me. Took me a few weeks to process properly."
'Pinocchio' by Carlo Collodi
"The original 'Pinocchio,' which my mom thought would be fun to read to me when I was maybe four or five years old."
"Holy s**t. That book is so dark, so bleak, and so gory. Pinocchio himself is the most disturbing character in the story. He's not the lovable, if wayward, kid we see in the Disney movie."
"Book Pinocchio is a twisted little psycho who delights in tormenting people. Disney's Pinocchio learns valuable lessons from Jiminy Cricket. When the talking cricket tries to give advice to Book Pinocchio, Book Pinocchio smashes him to death with a wooden mallet."
"I saw that Disney made a new version and something inside of me just went, 'NOPE!'"
'Tender is the Flesh' by Agustina Bazterrica
"I'm about 2/3 of the way through 'Tender is the Flesh' now. I took a break from it because it's so rough."
"The human cattle aspect is bad enough, but the emotional hell the main character goes through is probably one of the more difficult-to-handle things I've ever read."
"It's so well written and definitely worth the read if you like books that ruin your day."
'All Quiet on the Western Front' by Erich Maria Remarque
"'All Quiet on the Western Front.' I read this book on my lunch breaks at the first job I worked at."
"I was not expecting the ending and literally sat there silent for about 20 minutes trying to process it before having to punch back in for work."
"Great book, highly recommend not reading it at work."
'Childmare' by Nick Sharman
"'Childmare' by Nick Sharman. My mum's boyfriend lived in a house share and one of the guys there left it lying about. 10-year-old me just started leafing through."
"The plot is that lead poisoning in the water supply drives the children of London insane. Insane like bullies beating weak kids' skulls with cricket bats, and stabbing another through the eye with a pen, and so forth."
"Read it as an adult and it's pulp horror crap, but at the time, it was pretty nuts."
'A Child Called It' by Dave Pelzer
"'A Child Called It.' No question."
Oh, the Middle School Curiosity
"'Flowers in the Attic' by V.C. Andrews."
"'The Lovely Bones' by Alice Sebold."
"'Lolita' by Vladimir Nabokov."
"All from curiosity when I was a middle schooler."
Each of these stories are spine-tingling and haunting by their own right, and perhaps it's best that this subReddit has now been "warned" before opening one of these books.
But there are bound to be some horror-lovers out there who will seek these out in pure curiosity now.
When I was seven, I saw a cartoon of Ben Franklin discovering electricity when lightning accidentally struck a kite that he was flying. I didn’t totally understand how that helped him discover electricity, but since I was only seven, I believed that to be what happened.
The truth is, Ben Franklin did not actually discover electricity -- that happened over 1,000 years prior. He just demonstrated the connection between lightning and electricity.
Moreover, his kite was not accidentally struck by lightning. If it was, the lighting would’ve struck him by extension, and he might not have even survived long enough to demonstrate his findings. In fact, the kite was part of an experiment that he conducted on purpose.
I know all this now, but not everyone does. A lot of people still believe lightning accidentally struck Ben Franklin’s kite, and that he discovered electricity through that happy accident. And that is just one of the many historic events that people believe in.
However, most of those events either didn’t happen at all or happened differently than we may think.
Redditors have recognized a lot of other historical events or facts that people believe, but are actually fake or untrue, and have shared this information.
It all started when Redditor FarajEltaira asked:
“What is a part of history that we consider to be a fact is 100% fake?”
The Absence Of Color
"Ninjas dressed in all black to stay stealthy in the night or something like that. Ninjas dressed like normal people to blend in, the all black look stemmed from Japanese theatre to make it more obvious to the audience who the ninjas were."
"If they wore all black it'd be quite obvious and they'd stick out like a sore thumb"
"EDIT: most of you pointed out it also came from stagehands, that makes a lot of sense too"
Pull It Tight
"Corsets were not typically tight laced. They were only tight laced by the highly fashionable women, and usually only for particular events or portraits. Corsets were designed to be comfortable. Women wore a cotton layer underneath the corset, so it didn't rub against the skin. The corset was more like a bra, bit instead of using the shoulders to support it used the whole torso. Some people claim they are much more comfortable than modern bras. The intense proportions of the past were achieved with Corsets AND padding. Tight lacing was uncommon, but layers of petticoats or hoops or bum rolls or whatever else at the time was very common to give women the trendy body shape at the time."
In The Ring
"The image of Roman gladiators fighting to the death. While there were many exhibition fights in the arenas where the goal was death, these were not gladiator contests. Prisoners, and the condemned, were thrown out to fight to the death, but not real gladiators.Training a gladiator was an expensive, and lengthy, investment and having them die constantly would be bad for business."
"The Midnight Ride Of Paul Revere
"Paul Revere did not run around Massachusetts shouting "The British are coming" because if he did everyone would look at him like he'd lost his mind. ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE COLONIES WAS BRITISH!"
"He actually said, "The Regulars are coming""
"He also only carried that message for a small stretch of the ride. There were about a half dozen messengers passing it along. We remember Paul Revere as the only rider because, no joke, his name fit best in Longfellow’s poem"
All The Information
"The Lady who sued McDonalds didn't do so frivolously. She received third degree burns from how hot that coffee was, and needed a skin graft. It was quickly found that that location was keeping the coffee well above the temperature you can legally serve a hot drink in a cup at. The fact that most people think this suit was over the temperature of the coffee, and not the debilitating burns that woman recieved, is one of the PR worlds greatest triumphs. You are not immune to propaganda."
All You Read Is Not True
"That Einstein said “ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”"
""Don't believe everything you read on the internet" - Albert Einstein"
"Einstein never failed math, the rumor started from Ripley’s Believe It Or Not and Einstein actually responded to them saying “I never failed in mathematics. Before I was 15 I had mastered differential and integral calculus.” He wasn’t very good at the non-science related classes though and did fail French."
A Quiet Night
"The Boston Tea party didn’t have some grand celebration, a lot of the colonists were confused and it’s recorded as one of Boston’s most quiet nights"
"A stegosaurus fighting a t rex. They lived millions of years apart . Stegosaurus 144 lived million years ago T rex 65 million years ago."
"Insane difference. Still almost most every dinosaur related media places them together."
"Whatever the f*ck is on the History Channel nowadays."
"I know the exact moment I gave up on the History Channel. A guy came in to a pawn shop with a uniform and said, "it's from the war with the Philippines.""
"The guy in the shop said, "there's no such thing as the war with the Philippines.""
"My undergrad senior thesis was on the Philippine-American war."
"It ain't even historical anymore they should rename it as the "whatever we feel like it" channel"
"What's Up, Doc?"
"Rabbits CANNOT live on a diet of carrots and fruits. It’s like asking a toddler to live on a diet of candy. They also cannot live on a diet of completely lettuce and leaves (though it’s close)."
"Rabbits need need need hay for a healthy diet, and pellets are heavily recommended as well(though they also have limits, should be in the bag according to the bunny’s weight). Greens are good, not to be the main main diet, and fruits or carrots can be given as treats."
"Bugs Bunny led a lot of people to believe rabbits live off of carrots. They do not. They will die if you expect them to live on a diet of 100% carrots."
The Teeth Of The Matter
"That George Washington had wooden teeth. He had false teeth, yes. But they were made of ivory. He never had wooden teeth."
A Wooden Horse?
"The Trojan Horse wasn't real. Historians are all pretty much unanimous on this."
"My personal theory is that the trojan horse story relates to a traitor within Troy's cavalry"
"William Howard Taft never got stuck in a bathtub!"
"I also find it weird/hilarious/sad that that's what he's known for instead of being known for being the only person to have served as both President and Chief Justice of the Supreme Court."
Is it weird that I’m sad the bathtub thing turned out to be false?
People really need to think about tattoos.
Yes, they're cool sometimes.
But how many do you really need?
Some can seriously spoil a romantic moment.
Redditor Flowerlock wanted to hear about the body art that has left people less than attracted, so they asked:
"What tattoo is a turn off?"
I'm thinking about a tattoo, but I don't have the nerve.
This list may have me reconsider.
"When I was changing with my boyfriend for the first time, he took off his pants and his entire upper left leg was covered with giant leopard spots."
"I almost screamed."
Follow the Letters
"Sometimes it can work out though..."
"Some time ago a girl tweeted she got a Waterparks song tattooed on her and it had been misspelt, which caught the attention of the band and they officially changed to the name of the song to match her misspelt tattoo."
"Just one of those rare instances in life that works out for some unfortunate girl who got a bad tattoo... lmao."
"Anything poorly drawn. My ex was a hot guy. He got a wolf tattoo on his chest. Omg, it had crossed eyes and a fat weird face and for some reason pine trees embedded in the fur. Ugh. Just, whyyy?!"
"My neighbor got a wolf tat done when he was super drunk. Besides the fact that all the detail was blurry, the wolf had a short, stunted muzzle. It was like a pug with a glorious mane."
"I know everyone has different standards of quality and art is subjective but I think (within reason of course) the worst tattoo is just a badly done one. Lacking a basic understanding of anatomy, bad shading, terrible line quality, patchy colour, etc. I'm not a fan of certain tattoo styles but if they're done well I can respect them."
Know BetterHappy Peace Out GIF by AmsterdenimGiphy
"Random Chinese words on someone who has no idea what they even say."
"A friend of mine who visited Korea got a giant tattoo running down her back. She thought it meant 'love my family,' or something like that. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my other friend (a Korean) quietly translated it to 'foreigner.'"
Use a translation book friends.
OwnershipArtist Tattoo GIFGiphy
"Property of (NOT YOUR NAME)."
"Plot twist: they only date people with the same name so they don't need to remove the tattoo."
"Giant pectoral swastika."
"Yeah my neighbor has one. He got it in prison years ago."
"As he says it, when he was young he got into trouble, went to prison, joined the Aryan brotherhood for protection, served his sentence and has been trying to distance himself from them for years."
"He got it removed but a scar remains. The scar isn't super big and obvious, but it is noticeable, like a slight mis-colouring of the skin, the kinda thing that draws your eye and your not sure you can see anything, but it's a very distinct pattern and your brain puts together what it is after a bit."
"Only God can judge me."
"A friend of mines father was supposed to get 'Only God can judge me' written in olde’ English font across the width of his back. The tattooist was dyslexic and managed to finish the tattoo with 'Only God can Jude me.'"
"He had to have a cover up of his entire upper back as it couldn’t be fixed. He was an absolute chopper of a bloke and got rinsed for years. People still call him Jude now."
"A Marijuana plant. I like smoking myself and do it often, but I wouldn’t go as far as to tattoo it on me. Those I’ve seen get it tatted on them normally revolve their whole personality around it which is very dull in my opinion."
"Same goes for the people who wear marijuana leaf attire. My wife likes all that and brags how she’s a bigger pothead than me, and I feel like a fool when I have to be like okay? Like I have a job I can’t be strutting around in that crap... lol."
"My family and I once saw a biker with 'Seymour' written right above his butt crack when we were on a road trip."
Be really, really, really sure about body art.
And make sure you like the stencil on your body BEFORE they start inking you.
We're talking placement and size. It never hurts to really think these things through.
Why are men forced to be things they're not?
We are too far along as a society not to let the boys grow and evolve.
A good cry, a good laugh, a song, hug, a dance it out... can help anybody.
Or maybe just watch an episode of 'Grey's Anatomy.'
Redditor 040607AJF wanted all the guys out there to share how they "feel" so they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what is something f**ked up that you're supposed to be okay with because you're a man?"
Gents, it's time to start healing and growing.
Go to sleepSwitch Off Good Night GIF by GunmaunofficialGiphy
"Having sex whenever she's in the mood. And if I say no she thinks something wrong with her so you get pressured into doing it so she won't be mad or feel sad."
"30 year old male from India. Lost my dad 20 days back in an accident Relatives and well wishers spend time talking and pacifying mom/sister and listen to them with patience. To me before they leave- 'Now it's your responsibility to take care of your mom/sister' and nothing else."
"What about my grief of losing a parent? How do I handle it? Who is going to pacify me? Who listens to me? Without support from my wife and my friends, I could have gone insane the way people expect me to treat grief."
"Depression and loneliness, as much as I wish I could say the support gotten better it hasn’t. I see the 'mens mental health awareness month' bulls**t all over social media for a day once a year but then nobody speaks about it. Being depressed or saying you’re lonely can often be seen as a cry for attention or a 'red flag' for partners."
"People on social media think posting some picture of 'We need to support our men in the world!' Is going help, it doesn’t. If you legitimately care about the men in your life’s mental health please reach out to them and ask how they’ve been. Don’t compare to them and don’t undermine them just understand them. It does so much for them."
“figure it out”
"The fact that a lot of men have no guidance and are supposed to just figure s**t out or just know yet people will treat you like s**t for not knowing."
"When I was younger I was always told to 'figure it out' cause I’m a man. Every time I needed help whether it be homework, a flat tire, or something I genuinely needed help with like applying for college/fafsa I was turned away because it was my problem. Now if any family needs my help I’m demonized if I say no. Like wtf man I was taught not to bother y’all why are y’all bothering me?!?"
911Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"You can ask for my help, but I can't ask for yours."
Leave me be...
"Some women should understand that men can be 'not in the mood' as well. I don't know why many people think that men will never say 'no.' I saw many on Twitter, sadly both men and women, thinking that men are these cartoonish wolves that will start salivating and have their eyes turn into hearts when anyone mentions the word 'sex.'"
Out of the Norm
"Getting weird judgment from others for not conforming to the ‘traditional’ male role in a marriage or family. My wife is a highly driven genius, makes a great living, and loves what she does. I’m full time in the arts, and I’m not completely dependent on her, but I don’t have traditional employment or make a lot of money."
"I’ve had people in my life (especially older people) throw shade at me for not being ambitious enough or not having a real career. But together we’re doing much better than okay, and I’m probably gonna be the main caretaker when/if we have kids. I feel that if she were a man and I were a woman, nobody would question it at all."
"We aren't taught how to deal with emotions. (Mental health too)."
"I'm not advocating for men to be super-soft emotional wrecks, or to cry five times a week. But man I wish I knew I wasn't 'wrong' or 'weak' or 'avoiding becoming a man' just because I was sad, depressed, anxious and trying to deal with past events."
"So many women in my lifetime have acted like I’m not a strong guy because I show emotion. I have a big heart and I’m not going to change that for anyone. But I’ve had relationships take an immediate downturn when I showed any kind of sensitive side."
A New LeafBradley Cooper Teacher GIF by Legendary EntertainmentGiphy
"That If I ever finish my AA and teach preschool that I’ll be seen as a threat to children."
"I have known two men attempt to enter the teaching profession. My advice is don't! It really is not worth your time."
Oh gents, we all still have a long way to go.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.