
Interviews are pretty stressful for everyone involved: the potential employee is trying to make their best impression and stressing over whether they will get the job, while the interviewer is trying to figure out if the applicant has the necessary skills and will be a good fit for the position.
Things generally work out more or less OK, even if the applicant doesn't get the job.
There are some surefire ways to bomb an interview, and ruin your chances of ever being hired by the company, though.
Reddit user u/TheLazyBench asked Redditors:
"Redditors in hiring positions: What small things immediately make you say no to the potential employee? Why?"
20.
I've hired well over 200 hundred people, mostly for jobs that involved medium-heavy duty machinery operation. Some on the public road but mostly on private grounds. These positions paid anywhere's from $30,000CAD to $120,000CAD.
A couple things I did find out that surprised me as I learned the position:
Spelling/Grammar errors in resumes, or shortage of description, really did not end up meaning anything. At first I would throw these ones out but later on kept them in the shuffle and found more or less the exact same success as well written resume.
Clothing: Super Sharp, super sloth, none of it ever really seemed to matter. I found diamonds and trash wearing both.
What I ended up basing most of my decision on in the past couple years: Parking lot behavior. I didn't care what vehicle they showed up in, but as time went on I discovered that if it took someone more than 20-30 seconds to find a parking spot and get parked, they were useless with the machinery I needed them to operate, regardless of qualifications. Likewise with guys that thought they nailed the interview and then gunned it down the road when they hit the street. I found hiring those guys always became HUGE safety concerns. No word of a lie, parking lot behavior ended up providing me with about 50% of the info I wanted on hiring a guy. Once saw a guy park in about 15 seconds flat. He also left the parking lot in the exact same manner he came in. Totally bombed the interview and the Homer Simpson Tattoo didn't help, but the guy ended up being my Train the Trainer on a few pieces of equipment. If I'm gonna trust you with 5,000-120,000 lbs of machinery, I better see that you can operate your own vehicle.
19.
Once had a guy apply for a job advertised as just "call centre" because we needed to be discreet in the ad. His cover letter and resume talked about his previous call centre experience selling mobile phones, and all the people he had "saved" and converted to his church. He kept telling us that mission work is basically just sales, because you're selling Jesus.
He somehow got through to the reference checking stage (there weren't many applicants). I called his employer and found out he was asked to leave after 6 months of formal performance management because he kept telling people who had called up that they could either enter a 2 year contract for a new mobile phone...or go to his church every week for two years to make it up to him (for the lost commission.) He has access to their addresses, so he would confirm their address and say he would meet them out the front of their houses at 8 am on Sunday to take them to church. After dozens of complaints and 6 months of performance management, he still couldn't understand how that was inappropriate (and creepy!)The job I was recruiting for was a domestic violence crisis intervention call centre to help people experiencing extreme domestic violence to relocate. I'm so glad we didn't put him there.
18.
I got a text message response to a voicemail I left responding to an application saying "hey, I'm at the Steelers game so I obviously don't want to talk about a job today. How's Monday looking for you? I'm available 8am-10am." I didn't even respond.
I called an applicant who answered "who is this? f**k you want?" and I went on to further embarrass him by informing him I had wanted to talk about an application but never mind. He proceeded to tell me I was a "lying b**ch" and that my area code on his caller said I was in a different city and he's no idiot. Literally the neighboring area code.
So the small things? I won't hire total a**holes.
17.
Embellishing. Job applications, like dating profiles, a little embellishment is expected to make yourself look good and most people can read between the lines but I once had a dude when writing down his responsibilities at his previous job, put a bunch of things like "used whisk, spatula and other kitchen utensils to circulate sauces and ingredients to bring all food to adequate cooking temperature when being prepared" , it was ALL written like that. This guy supposedly had like 5+ years experience and best he could give me was a fancy way of saying he stirred sh*t
16.
How seriously do you take the position? I hire for an admittedly very easy job. I had a guy tell me he only wanted the job because it was really easy and he wouldn't have to take it seriously. He was one of 100 applying for 6 spots. He didn't get it, and every time he interviewed for that spot after I knew I wouldn't hire him.
EDIT: For the people asking why "honesty" mattered so much, the job is very easy, but we work with extremely valuable equipment and a mistake can cost us hundreds. Someone who's going into the position openly not taking it seriously when a hundred are going for the same spot isn't something I want since you'll naturally take the job less seriously over time. Also, I've only interviewed him once a semester, it's totaled maybe three. In his place we hired awesome employees who're up for management positions, I have no regrets.
15.
There was the guy who, when I walked into the conference room to interview him, told me to have a seat and said "let's talk".
Edit: in the interests of clarity: no, he was not joking.
13.
I'm reading this thread as a hiring manager for more or less janitorial position and we are so badly hurting for employees at that spot that we'll pretty much hire anyone that applies so long as they clear the background check and drug screen.
Raggedy clothes? You're hired Don't really have great answers to questions? You're hired Can't really explain or give a reason for the stuff on the application? You're hired You physically showed you to the interview? Hired.
It's crazy that the people that interview the best, show up dressed as well as they can be in their means, and clearly want the (any) job are more often than not the ones that get shot down because of background.
Sucks that the ones getting hired over them quit two weeks in because they don't like cleaning things up.
Edit: it's not my idea to have the drug screen, and it is a one time thing
Edit 2: it's no minimum wage. It's not the best, but it's competitive for the area
12.
People that showed up to an interview in dirty sweatpants and a hoodie or whatever, and had no idea what the position really was. (Pharmacy Tech/Assistant) It happened more than once.
11.
Talking about your broccoli and chocolate diet to improve your telekinesis.
This happened about 15 years ago.
10.
We were looking for engineers, and we had this guy apply.
He had a pretty sizable amount of relevant experience to the job despite being a fresh graduate and had experiences and training in other fields related to the production industry.
I asked him what position he was applying for and offered him the Assistant Production Engineer based on his credentials alone. He looked at me with a disgusted face, like I just insulted him. I asked him what was wrong, and he replied "Nothing really. It seems like a pretty good position, but I want something better, because I can clearly see you are impressed by my resume"
I took the bait, and partly also due to our immediate need for engineers, asked him what his preferred position would be. He immediately answered that he wanted a supervisory position, like the General Production Manager. I asked him why he wanted such a position.
His reply? "Seems like one of those jobs where I can sit in the office and play games on my phone all day without having to actually do anything"
I quickly gave an excuse to end the interview right there and just told him we would call him. We didn't.
Moral of the story? Never tell your potential employer you just want to sit on your butt all day and do nothing.
9.
For phone / skype interviews: don't Google every question I ask you to get the 'right' answer. It's a dead giveaway when after every question there's 10 seconds of umming, and then a textbook answer. You'll be surprised how often this happens.
8.
Showing up late for an interview already puts you in the hole. Not addressing it or apologizing for it will make it complete. Turn a negative into a positive and show you have accountability. Not addressing it shows you don't have respect for me and my time.
7.
If you have something on your resume, it's fair game for me to ask you about it. If you struggle with basic questions about it -- game over.
6.
The biggest one for me was always whether they were responding thoughtfully and specifically to prompts or just using vague interviewy language.
5.
Treating everyone but the hiring manager disrespectfully.
I was in a management position in fast food. I didn't do the hiring, but one minor responsibility was accepting applications that people brought in and answering any initial questions. The hiring manager ALWAYS listened to the other managers initial impressions of the applicants. So many applications were thrown out of the stack without ever being considered because the applicant didn't think anyone mattered but the person that made the final decision.
I even had one lady come in and basically tell us that she would definitely be hired and be placed over us in management and that she planned on "cleaning up our act". We had a good laugh with the hiring manager before tossing her app in the trash.
4.
When the interviewee ignores the person who asked the question and instead talks to the person they "think" has the most power in the room. This has happened in entry level positions, but I also helped interview for a position that would be working at my same level, as a partner. My manager told me the decision was ultimately up to me, because I knew what I was willing to work with, and what was needed for the role.
I had a man come in and he wouldn't look at me, didn't shake my hand, and every time I asked a question, he looked to my manager for approval. Yeah... Hard pass. I don't want to work with a guy who has no respect for me.
3.
I have a small exteriors remodeling company and do all of my interviews on-site. If someone gets out of their vehicle and flicks their cigarette in the yard, it's pretty much over. For some reason people interviewing have regularly looked at the tools we're using and talked condescendingly about them and explain they learned on another brand/style and their way is better. Done. I'm open to discussion about tools and methods, but the interview isn't the place and leads me to believe I'm going to have to work hard to make you use my methods on jobs.
Edit for some clarification:
Tools/methods- we are all open to discussion about methods and tools, but talking down to the interviewer is a bad move. There's a difference between making sure we're on the same page and trying to prove you know more than the guy you're trying to get the job from. And it's never about the actual tools, I've done hiring for other businesses before my own, it's about showing a specific attitude. Those guys may do well in the industry, but my business prides itself on bringing positive attitudes to projects for homeowners and those guys can't help with that.
2.
"I'm not a big computer or email person." Get out and don't come back. This is an office job in 2019.
1.
One last thing. If you have an objective on your resume, make sure it applies to the job at my company. I cant tell you how many times people have an objective about getting a job in xxxx - that is not my company. Remember to update this!
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Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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