Hilarious People Share Their Cheesiest Jokes

[rebelmouse-image 18350819 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Everyone fancies themselves a comedian. And in the end "everybody" is NOT! It's always great to want to make people laugh so no matter how unfunny you are one good joke can always get you a little street cred. Most jokes are only funny because they're cheesy and ridiculous. But they delivered correctly, they get the job done.

Redditor _daphilta was dying to know... What is your cheesiest joke for a 5 year old who loves them? **_Universal hilarity from 5 to 100 is necessary. **

IT'S FOR THE BIRDS...

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

A: because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels

BLESS THE BOTTOM...

[rebelmouse-image 18350820 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

Kids love it when you say bottom.

PENGUINS ARE TROUBLE...

[rebelmouse-image 18350821 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

A police officer sees a car speeding and pulls the man over. When he gets to the window, he sees the driver has 5 penguins in his backseat. He asks the man why he has penguins in his car. The man replies, "These are my penguins, and they belong to me. The office says, "You need to take them back to the zoo immediately."

The next day, the officer sees the same man driving down the road. He pulls him over again and sees the penguins are in his backseat again and are all wearing sunglasses. The police officer says, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"

"Oh... I did," the driver says, "And today I'm taking them to the beach."

CHICKENS TRY MY PATIENCE...

[rebelmouse-image 18350822 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I have two.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the silly person's house!

You don't like that one? Ok, knock knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

[rebelmouse-image 18350823 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

This is kinda a joke, my Dad does this and thinks it is hilarious. He will hold his jaw like he is in pain and complain about "Dog Jaw." Then when you ask what Dog Jaw is he asks you to feel his jaw. As you go to touch it he starts barking. Scared me the first time he did it.

IS IT "ART" THOUGH?

[rebelmouse-image 18978349 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, in a hole? Doug.

What do you call that guy's friend lying down next to the hole? Phil.

What do you call a man, no arms, no legs, hanging on the wall? Art.

What do you call that man's arms and legs hanging on the wall next to him? Pieces of art

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen

WHERE'S YOUR ARK?

[rebelmouse-image 18978350 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment

What do you do for a sick pig? Call a HAmbulance

Where do you take a sick pony? Horsepital

Where do you take a sick duck? to the Ducktors

Where do you take a sick dog? They should say Dogtors at this point and you say no the Vet, Silly.

FLEX BABY....

[rebelmouse-image 18978351 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

What's the strongest animal in the ocean? The mussel

Came up with that when I was four, everything since then has been a slow decline.

I'M CONFUSED...

[rebelmouse-image 18350897 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, you're a poo!

THAT'S A LOT OF POTASSIUM...

[rebelmouse-image 18978352 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?

Ba-na-na-NAAA

I hate that I have to say this now, but this is not a minion joke.

Let me be real for a second.

Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.

Have you ever listened to it?

It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.

That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.

There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.

Keep reading... Show less
Duy Pham on Unsplash

Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.

Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.

Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.

The reasons are many, and they are all sad.

Keep reading... Show less
Kelsey Chance/Unsplash

Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.

There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.

When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.

Keep reading... Show less
nrd on Unsplash

Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?

Keep reading... Show less