Falling in love is one thing, but actually making a relationship last? That's a different ballpark altogether.
Think of the couples you know that have kept their relationship going for 10 years or more, 20 years or more... what works? How do they do it?
Well, now we know, thanks to Redditor PrincessAsia, who asked: "People who married their High School sweethearts and are still happily married today. What is your secret to the long gevity of your relationship?"
Never hiding behind fake words. If we have a problem we talk about it.
"Married 25 years."
Married 25 years. Recognize that you're both going to change over time, and enjoy that journey together.
Communication. Truly, this has probably been mentioned before, but you can't have a true, strong relationship without communication. If someone hurt your feelings, tell them. If they have a grievance with something you've done, listen to them. Take them seriously, don't just brush their concerns off because you don't agree with it.
Being buddies. Changing interests and lifestyles together as we got older. When arguing, Never saying below belt or hurtful cutting arguments. ( Those comments that you can never take back and will sting forever. ) I'm his biggest fan and he is mine.
"We have a date night..."Giphy
We don't tell lies. Ever.
We have a date night three times a month. No phones or electronics.
It isn't 50/50. It's 100% always.
"Married to mine..."
Married to mine for over 10 years now. She makes me a better person and I make sure to tell her that. Being best friends helps, but marriage will always require some work. I don't do everything I should for her, but I try to make a point to ask her about her day, talk things out (calmly. So sometimes that may mean stepping back for a second.), and pay attention to what she wants/needs and keep a list of things I catch. The last one is definitely not something I get right all the time, but being able to listen to your partner and do something to make their day/hour/minute is something that really makes people cherish each other.
"Been with mine..."
Been with mine for 8 years now. Best thing is communicating. Early in the relationship I wouldn't communicate my feelings, being as men with feelings were weak. This almost ruined it all together. I began opening up more over time and now I've gotten to the point where I'll keep the conversation going when I feel my wife is holding back.
Now I don't really hold back feelings, I speak my mind openly. I also share my feelings with my daughter because I want her to know as a young woman that having feelings are ok and she can always share with me what's going on in her life. Hopefully by planting that seed early on we will have a good open father/daughter relationship in the future.
"He's my best friend..."
He's my best friend, we have quite a bit in common but maintain our separate hobbies. It took a while for us to learn how to but we figured out how to effectively communicate when we have arguments. We learned how to express when the other has done something that hurts one of us and work through it. Relationships aren't all just love and butterflies, it can be boring, it can be hard, you're going to spend a lot of time together and they're going to be the person who knows the most about you and all your secrets, habits, and quirks.
"She was my best friend..."
She was my best friend before she was my girlfriend. We've always been able to talk to each other for hours at a time, and that's still a regular occurrence. We have similar interests and views, with out being too similar and crowding each other. We also just kind of happen to be exactly what each other needs in a partner. She helps to keep me grounded and organized. I'm an excellent problem solver under pressure.
In short patience, communication, and a simply ridiculous amount of luck to have stumbled blindly into the perfect person.
Married 25 years next year.
Don't expect them to change. Remember they are the only family you ever get to pick and you picked them, not some version of them you hope they could be.
Don't ever make them pick you over anything else. Let them have their friends, hobbies, etc. It doesn't have to be all about you or always involve you.
Support them in public, argue in private.
Realize the romance/spark will fade, but it is replaced with something better.
Keep your relationship off social media.
Separate vacations are great!