Helpful Veterinarians Share The Most Common Mistakes Pet Owners Make
[rebelmouse-image 18350719 is_animated_gif=Pets are NOT merely pets. Our pets are our friends, they are our family, mi familia. We love our pooches, kitties, horses, ferrets, birds... etc like they're our blood. I'd be willing to donate a kidney for my dog. But like any decent parent we are destined to screw our babies up, 'tis life. Instead of animal therapists we bombard our vets.
So Redditor ovalseven sent out a call for veterinarians who may be able to share wisdom for fur baby owners asking... Veterinarians of Reddit, what common mistakes are we making with our pets?
JENNY CRAIG AND COLGATE!! GET ON IT!
1) Letting them get fat 2) Not taking care of their teeth
Obesity and dental disease are far and away the most common problems I see.
HOLD THE CLAWS BACK!
[rebelmouse-image 18350722 is_animated_gif=Trim your pets' nails. I can't tell you how many times I've had to wrestle an ingrown nail out of an animals flesh. And that stuff can get in there deep. And most of the time, the animal doesn't give you any signs that it's in pain and the owners don't even notice it's happening.
LOOK PAST THE $$$$ PLEASE.
[rebelmouse-image 18350723 is_animated_gif=Veterinarian here. Not going to sift through all these comments so apologies if I'm echoing others.
Getting and relying on medical advice from breeders and groomers (with no medical background). I once saw a rat terrier with a fractured humerus, which typically requires surgical correction. As I stepped out of the room to check availability with a surgeon, the client called the dog's breeder who said not to follow my advice and to "just put the dog in a sling" and that she's "done on her own dogs plenty."
Also, not exercising dogs enough. Many behavioral problems can be solved with ample exercise daily.
DON'T IGNORE OUR SLITHEREN FAMILY
[rebelmouse-image 18350724 is_animated_gif=I'm seeing a lot of dog/cat posts so I'll throw one about snakes:
Snakes are not supposed to sneeze/cough. They lack diaphragms so if yours does this, take it to the vet immediately.
Please please do not drive with your snake free-roaming. This is extremely unsafe for the snake as it causes stress and could get stuck somewhere while you are driving.
Different snakes require different bedding's, humidity levels, enrichment etc. Just because it works for a corn doesn't mean it's meant for a ball python.
It is best, and highly recommended, to feed frozen to snakes. This is because live rodents can be dangerous to the snake if the snake does not want to eat (I've seen so many dead snake pets due to this) and also, easier storage. If your snake prefers a more lively meal, try dancing or running said dead mouse around the tank for it to attack.
Understand your snake and stress. Do not humanize your snake into thinking that it's behaving in a mammal/human like way. It could be showing signs of clear stress and your seeing it as "awe look at it's sassy face!" You can love your reptile while also respecting it's boundaries.
This is my personal rant/tip: If you want a cool, look at me accessory may I suggest a new hair do, a cool jacket or literally anything else besides a snake. These animals are surprisingly delicate to their environments and require everyday husbandry. You scaring people with it or using it as a way to get chicks is not helping the reputation of these pretty awesome creatures. They have fears, intelligence and likes/dislikes like any other animal. They are not breathing jewelry.
Reptiles in general are very complex pets to keep healthy. Do your research please. Learn the diets, the vitamins, the lights, the humidity etc. These animals can live to be over 20 yet rarely do due to poor husbandry.
And my tip for all animals in general is ENRICHMENT! Play with your pets, train them, give them puzzles, new toys, new hiding boxes, etc. Literally anything to keep their minds and bodies fit. These creatures rely on us for their whole lives, they do not have phones, tvs, books, etc. They have us, their owners. It's our responsibility to keep them entertained and living full lives. Even a fish could enjoy some new plants and scenery every once and awhile.
ARE YOU HIGH? YEAH, US TOO...
[rebelmouse-image 18350725 is_animated_gif=Hello! Veterinary Nurse here!
Kind of surprised I haven't seen this posted yet (might of missed it) however....
Please, if your pet got into your weed or edibles, just tell us! No we are not going to call the cops on you. We just want to treat your pet correctly & not waste our time!! We really don't care that you smoke!
Also, please put your weed up where your pets can't reach! If dogs will eat literal crap then yes they certainly will eat your pot & definitely all of your baked edibles & candy!
Thanks! :D
YOU GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS!
[rebelmouse-image 18356346 is_animated_gif=Not socializing/training puppies. Socialization (not just to other dogs! To people! Cats! Men in hats! Vet care! Foot touching, handling, bathing! Car rides! Etc etc etc), basic dog behavior and development knowledge, and positive reinforcement training with just a few basic commands can be the difference between a well adjusted dog in a loving home and a dog with persistent behavior issues being surrendered to a shelter. n't like it. (Thanks!!)
SHOW THEM THE WORLD!
[rebelmouse-image 18978331 is_animated_gif=I'm a vet. Not letting your dogs around other dogs until they have all their vaccines. Their socialization window closes about 14 weeks, meaning it is pretty much closed if you wait until 16 weeks. This causes a lot of dogs to go nuts and freak out whenever they see something they didn't see during that period.
Notice, I did NOT say to take them to the dog park! They need to be around other dogs (and other people) in controlled situations: puppy socialization classes, friends houses, etc. Make sure the dogs they are around are healthy, vaccinated, and good with puppies and let them have positive experiences with other dogs and people. Obviously NEVER get behind on their vaccines while you're doing this. Expose them to your tall friends, your friends of different races, your friends with beards, hats, sunglasses. Pull out the broom, an umbrella, an iron board... while giving them treats and having fun the whole time. Try to let them walk on slick floors, bricks, carpet, etc. so they won't have fears of those things. And always happy!!
Every happy, positive interaction with something makes them less afraid. Every lack of exposure, or negative interaction, makes them more afraid.
Your dog is your FRIEND, not your slave. Your goal is not to make him do exactly whatever you want no matter what. It's to make him have good manners, but also let him have his own preferences, too. You're not training him like he's in the circus to do a bunch of stuff for your amusement. You're teaching him how to move safely in the world, which means not doing something (biting, urinating in the house, jumping uncontrollably) that will be a threat to his life some day. More dogs are surrendered and euthanized for behavior reasons than any other reason.
TEETH!! TEETH!! THAT IS ALL.... FOR ALL OF US!
[rebelmouse-image 18978332 is_animated_gif=I'm graduating as a veterinarian in a few months. One of the most common things we see, and a very serious issue at that, is dental disease in pets, and often the owner has no idea that their animal's teeth are bad at all. Dental disease affects all body systems (bacteria and dental disease go hand in hand, and those bacteria end up all throughout the body, affecting organs such as the kidneys and the heart), not to mention it flipping hurts!! Some owners are under the impression that because their animal is still eating, that must mean that they do not have an oral health issue. The truth of it is, is you eat or starve. I like to tell people that the most common symptom you'll see in dental disease (besides, of course, the yucky mouth itself) is no symptoms. I have seen a lot of owners comment how their dog or cat is 'like they're young again!' after getting a much needed dental treatment, specifically the extraction of diseased teeth. Arguably the most important aspect of oral care that you can do at home is tooth brushing, optimally every single day with a veterinary toothpaste. Outside of that, regular physical examinations and professional dental cleanings under general anesthesia when necessary. Unfortunately, anesthetic free dental cleanings may do more harm than good, including giving you a false sense of security of your pet's dental health.
PENCILS UP!!!!
[rebelmouse-image 18978333 is_animated_gif=Former vet tech here. Few things.
- Spay/neuter your pets. No, Fifi does not need to have a litter, and it might actually endanger her health to do so (look up pyometra). There are too many unwanted dogs/cats in the world. Please don't add to the burden.
- Microchip your pet, and keep the information updated! It is usually the key to help your pet find their way back home!
- Play with your kittens feet. Seriously. Start as early as possible. This will help with nail trimmings!
- Socialize your puppies to anything and everything. When this is done safely, it can help prevent behavioral problems in the future.
- Learn to read your pets behavior! Knowing when they are stressed out/scared/sick can really help you avoid dangerous situations.
WHEN YOU GOTTA GO... YOU GOTTA GO!!
[rebelmouse-image 18978334 is_animated_gif=1 year away from being a full blown vet, worked as a technician for 4 years before vet school.
Please don't ignore cats screaming or "looking constipated," they are likely suffering a urinary blockage and they can die. Please bring them to a vet.
It's not as much the food as the kcals - read the bag. There are plenty of calculators online that will give you an idea of how much your pet should be eating. THEN compare that to the food you have (and measure out what is appropriate).
And please, please, be kind to your vet. It is all too often we are accused of "being in this for the money." We aren't, most of us take on huge loans to the tune of 200k to be your pet's doctor. We also have one of the highest rates of suicide as far as a profession goes. Please keep that in mind before you leave a mean review - we take failure personal, trust me. There may be some exceptions, but I speak for me and my colleagues. We love your pets too, that's why we spent 8+ years getting to be their doctor!
JUST KEEP SWIMMING!
[rebelmouse-image 18978337 is_animated_gif=Im in the middle of training right now, but one thing I see absolutely everywhere that kills me inside is fish being kept in small tanks or bowls. The idea that fish can be kept in bowls comes from the fact that people in east-asian countries like Japan would temporarily put their fish on display in bowls to show off to guests, and housed them in large ponds most of the time. Westerners assumed such small containers were suitable to house fish in and this is still wide-spread today. Not only does a bowl destroy your fish's health due to the lack of air touching the surface per unit volume of water, but the space you're giving your fish is basically comparable to keeping a human in one room the whole of their life. Fish are cleverer than people give them credit, and they feel pain and emotion more than people give them credit for also. They can't pull facial expressions that we can empathise with, so their mental wellbeing is often overlooked. Even small fish need a decent amount of space to live, and things in their tank to hide in or "explore". They grow much larger and live much longer than most people think. They absolutely need to be housed in the right accommodation, in the right environment (the amount of fish I've seen being kept on shelves next to loud speakers etc), and with the correct amount and type of other fish. It takes a lot of space, time and money to look after them decently- they're not the low-maintenance pets so many treat them as.
UNLESS IT'S IN TEQUILA... WORMS AIN'T NO FUN!
[rebelmouse-image 18978338 is_animated_gif=Heartworm prevention. I am in a rural place where the common theme is "dogs are tools" and therefore kept outside off leash. I have never made a grown ass redneck cry faster than telling him his favorite hunting dog has heartworms. Everyone knows the treatment is expensive and somewhat risky so they often have no choice but either euthanize or just let it run it's course. When they refuse treatment, prior to release we're obligated to tell them exactly what will happen and that's when the tears flow.
BUT... But... We offer ProHeart6. One shot = 6 months of protection. We offer AdvantageMulti. One pill covers fleas, ticks, heartworms, a few internal parasites and even mange. We have the options, please use them. I haven't steeled up yet. I still cry at every dog put to rest, especially a preventable one. You need meds if you live in an orange or red area.
ANIMALS NEED THERAPISTS TOO...
[rebelmouse-image 18978340 is_animated_gif=I'm a vet. I can list a million things I wish owners would understand about their pet's health, but equally important is understanding that if you cannot afford basic veterinary care then you cannot afford a pet. Period. This is an industry with serious mental health concerns. We are routinely presented with cases that could have been avoidable if you'd practiced the suggested preventative care, or brought your pet in for evaluation once the symptoms started rather than waiting 6 weeks until the animal is beyond help. We are routinely berated by the public for being uncaring or having no compassion for not providing our services for free, though often veterinary diagnostics are performed at a fraction of the cost of human diagnostics and the turn-around time is considerably shorter. I do not want to euthanize your beloved family member, but if you have no ability to cover the estimated cost of care, you put us both in an unfortunate situation. The fact that I have to euthanize multiple pets on a daily basis is one of the worst parts of my job. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but oftentimes a traumatic end could be prevented with basic yearly checkups. Also please don't expect me to cry over every euthanasia. If I didn't distance myself from the heart wrenching sadness, I would never be able to perform my job.
SHOW ME THE $$$$$!!
[rebelmouse-image 18351741 is_animated_gif=I Am a vet.
Please don't say that vets are "in it for the money." I'm raising a family of four and last year I brought home less than 60k. Vets make a living but we will never be wealthy. We do not make recommendations to take your money. We make recommendations because we genuinely care about your pet's wellbeing. I have been a vet for 13 years and just last year made enough to buy a car. A Honda. And I still owe $80k on my student loans.
Vets are NOT in it for the money.
KEEP THEM WHITES... PEARLY!!
[rebelmouse-image 18978341 is_animated_gif=Lack of dentistry or dental hygiene is probably the main thing I see. Dental cleanings are important, pets usually need a cleaning at or soon after 3 years of age, sometimes younger. A "teeth cleaning" at the groomer is not a dental. I'm talking about an anesthetized prophylactic cleaning and polishing. Similar to what you get at your human dentist. However we can't ask your pet to hold still and open its mouth or we take x-rays and clean the teeth and probe to check for pocketing, so anesthesia is necessary. Most veterinary hospitals use up-to-date equipment that provides safe monitoring for your pet. Just be sure to go to a reputable veterinary clinic or an animal dentist.
Unlike people, dogs' mouths are very different from one another. Think of a Yorkie vs a French Bulldog vs a Golden Retriever. The structure of the mouth between them are not the same across every dog. Cats are fairly similar to one another. The small mouths and teeth can often have more problems or need more frequent cleanings. There are a lot of factors that can vary when or how much "tartar" accumulates such as diet or dental hygiene treats or teeth brushing. Brushing a dogs teeth less than four times a week is almost ineffective. Dental hygiene treats work but aren't as effective as a cleaning and polishing. The worse it gets over time the more expensive it will be later on if you get them taken care of. Don't wait till it's too late. And yes, even if you keep up on annual dental cleanings it is still possible to have other problems like fractured teeth or root exposure, enamel loss from chewing or wearing. Dogs use their mouth like we use our hands, not just to eat but as tools. This has an effect on the teeth too.
I got a four month old German Shepherd in 2015 and have been trialing Oravet Dental Chews by giving him one dental treat every single day since I got him. He is now three years old and his teeth are still immaculate, I don't brush his teeth (because yes I'm lazy about that too) and he hasn't had a dental cleaning. Another German Shepherd that is only a couple weeks apart in age as my dog has already needed two dental cleanings.
Another common mistake with pets is obesity. Feeding the wrong foods, junk ingredients, or unnecessary nutrition. Dogs and cats are fairly simple for feeding and maintaining. Most food manufacturers provide a guidance to how much to feed based on weight. If you follow that and your pet starts gaining weight, then you know to change something. They don't eat something different for every meal like we do, it makes it easier to keep track of how much you should feed. Obviously there are medical conditions that might render this difficult such as thyroid hormones or metabolism, but generally speaking. A lean pet will have much better chance at remaining healthy. The majority of animals I see with lumps and bumps are overweight or not neutered or both.
If you have been a pet owner for several years or maybe more than a decade or two, you'll have noticed that the style of animal medicine has changed significantly. The availability of advanced medicine has increased exponentially, and so has your expectations as a pet owner. We understand this, but what comes with this is better care for your pets to result in longer lifespans while staying healthier longer.
LIFE IS ABOUT QUALITY!
[rebelmouse-image 18978342 is_animated_gif=I wish people would acknowledge the difference between 'surviving' and 'thriving'. This is most evident with exotic pets like reptiles and birds, but I think it applies to more common animals too. Too often you see people refusing certain treatment or being difficult about something because they (or usually their friend's partner's cousin or whatever) have heard of a case where X treatment wasn't needed. Even if that were true, years of education and decades of scientific research tell me that X is probably the best thing to help your pet thrive.
A LITTLE ROPE NEVER HURT ANYBODY... ASK CHRISTIAN GREY.
[rebelmouse-image 18978343 is_animated_gif=My vet told me she sees a lot of dogs with injuries from jumping out of vehicles. The owner usually says something about how they thought the dog's instincts would prevent them from jumping out while going down the road. Unfortunately, dogs have not been riding in the backs of trucks for thousands of years and don't seem to have totally evolved a set of instincts to deal with modern technology. If they see a squirrel, that might be all it takes to convince them it's a good idea to get out at 60mph. So always tie them up in a way that makes it impossible to get out.
I know, I know, your dog never does this and never would, right? That's what all of her clients said too.
DON'T PAY FOR THE LIES!!
[rebelmouse-image 18978344 is_animated_gif=Vet here. Didn't read every entry, so some may be repeated, apologies. Could go on all day but here are a few.
Grain free is 100% marketing. You're paying extra for absolutely no benefit. While we are on the subject, by products should not specifically be avoided. Pets need nutrients, not ingredients.
Spay and neuter. Why owners elect not to do this astounds me, considering the number of conditions that can be prevented by this simple procedure.
If you cannot afford to drop $200-300 once a year on your pet, you should not have a pet. This covers only the basic routine services a pet should receive once yearly (exams, preventative medications and testing, vaccines, etc). If you have a pet, set aside a specific emergency fund for this pet. Depending on the condition, a few hundred bucks can save a life. On a similar note, do not get a Great Dane and act surprise that medications for a 150lb dog are more expensive than your old terrier's medications.
Listen to your veterinarian. "The breeder said..." is not a valid excuse for anything. It doesn't take much to put two dogs in a room and wait 60 days. Why people say this to a veterinarian is beyond me. Your breeder makes money on making sure each bitch produces a large number of viable offspring- nothing more.
Please vaccinate for the conditions your veterinarian recommends, when they recommend them.
If you are not willing to spend the appropriate amount of time training and exercising your high energy dog, please get a fish. If you do not have experience with any dog in the working class, please at least put in the time to research and then train your GSD, GSP, etc. Do not purchase a pet for someone else as a surprise. Getting a pet is a 10-20 year commitment and should not be dumped on an unwilling or unable family member/girlfriend, etc.
Not really a mistake, more of a PSA- Veterinarians have one of if not the highest suicide rate by profession. This is influenced by high stress environment, desire to save every pet, inability to cope with a mistake, misdiagnosis or lost pet, high student loan debt, access to euthanasia/other drugs, view on euthanasia, etc. Please be kind to your veterinarian.
PAY ATTENTION!! YOU WILL BW JUDGED!
[rebelmouse-image 18978345 is_animated_gif=Common Mistakes
1 Declawing pet cats (unless someone in the house is immuno-compromised). It's considered inhumane. Contrary to what most people think, it isn't simply "taking off a nail." It's a literal digit amputation of the distal phalanx. That's like cutting your fingers off at the last knuckle.
2 Letting a de-clawed cat outdoors. They can't defend themselves and will die.
Edit: As some people have pointed out, "they will die" is not necessarily true. More likely, they will be horribly mauled or injured due to being largely defenseless. Is this an absolute certainty? No. But it's very possible. If you care about your pet, you should not want this in the realm of possibility, but what the hell do I know.
3 Not neutering your pets. They will lead arguably longer and happier lives if they are fixed.
Edit: Happier lives: cuts down aggressive/unwanted behavior which is usually the leading cause of being returned to a shelter; for being "bad" and misbehaved.
Healthier lives: No chance of death during pregnancy or any kind of reproductive cancers, such as testicular,, prostate, ovarian uterine etc. But what the hell do I know.
4 Never taking your pet in for an annual check-up. Things change in our pet's bodies faster than they do in ours. Think of their life-span as opposed to a humans.
Edit: I'm sorry my thermometer in your pet's tush is a bit uncomfortable and the mere sight of me get's him trembling. Believe me, when I went into this profession I wasn't expecting animals to dread coming to see me. But 15 minutes in the clinic, 1 day out of 365 is the least you can do for an animal that loves you unconditionally. But what the hell do I know.
5 Giving your pets "people medicine". A lot of the things we can ingest may be toxic to animals. You can kill your pet even with the best of intentions.
6 Waiting for weeks or days to rush in with an "emergency." Chances are your pet has been in considerable pain, treatment may be more complex/difficult and your bill will be much, much higher.
7 Equating food with love. Pet obesity is a real thing. You could be taking years off of your pet's life and causing them painful joint issues by over-feeding.
8 Feed a raw diet. Animals can get food poisoning too. Make sure to talk to your vet to ensure your pets diet adheres to certain species-specific guidelines.
Edit: As many people have pointed out, their pets are on Vet/AAFCO approved raw diets. Fine. As long as you're not throwing your pets whole chickens and calling it holistic. But what the hell do I know. Also, I was thinking of dogs and cats when I wrote this. I should have been more clear that there are exceptions for every species. Let your snake do its' raw snakey thing.
9 Make your pet vegan or vegetarian because you are. Cats absolutely need essential amino acids that can only be found in meat. They'll die otherwise.
10 Neglect dental health. This is a common issue we see at the office. Address oral health early and it'll save you money and your pet's teeth.
If you're reading this, chances are you love your pet! Thank you for being responsible owners.
Source: I'm a 4th year veterinary student
CAMELS ARE PETS TOO!!!
[rebelmouse-image 18978346 is_animated_gif=Well since nobody mentioned camels I guess I will
Make sure your camels have plenty of areas to scratch themselves against when they are shedding their coat. I put a post up and nailed the ends of rough broom brushes all around the post. Otherwise their fur will just matt and get gross.
Make sure you fence off any trees you don't want destroyed by atleast 1.5-2 meters (like 5 foot) because they'll lean over the whole fence to get to the trees.
Check the yard for nightshade berry bushes, they're poisonous to camels.
Ensure they have constant access to blocks of salt, otherwise they will begin to stress and start digging.
If your camel grows an abscess (extremely common) wait for it to enlarge before lancing it at the lowest point where it'll fall to gravity and flush with a 5050 iodine/peroxide mix and repeat over the next couple weeks until it heals. Also spray with chloromide to keep flies away.
- People Debate Which Adorable Animal Would Make A Horrible Pet - George Takei ›
- Pet Owners Describe The Times Their Pets Quickly Went From Sweet Angels To Furry Demons - George Takei ›
- Dentists Share Oral Health Care Tips That Most People Don't Know - George Takei ›
- People Break Down Which Professions Do Not Allow F**k-Ups - George Takei ›
- Great Advice From 20 Years Ago That Doesn't Hold Up Today - George Takei ›
- Jobs That Don't Allow For A Single Error According To Employees - George Takei ›
Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public
Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
Moostaken Identity
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
~ Marxbrosburner
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
~ FairyQueen89
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
~ millijuna
Oh, 💩
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
~ amerkanische_Frosch
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
~ Blacl-Owl
Stonewalled
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
~ sleepwalkfromsherdog
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
~ Duck_Whistle
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
~ csfshrink
Bling, Bling
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
~ notatravis
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
~ Youre_so_damn_fat
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
~ Wetworth
Ribbit
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
~ DdraigGwyn
Psych!
"Operation Mincemeat."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
~ ThePinkTeenager
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
~ ChipHazardous
Ape 💩
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
~ DeadalusJones
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
~ Freezemoon
Pied Piper
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
~ 3000ghosts
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Anyway...
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
Weight Watchers
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
~ hambone10
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
~ jungl3j1m
waitr
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
~ bravesgeek
GiphyHBO
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
~ stoneman9284
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
~ oreos_in_milk
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"Madness."
~ WoodSheepClayWheat
GiphyUSWest
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
~ Trickycoolj
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
~ ConsciousValence
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
~ CorporalBB
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"Firedog."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
~ Tiberius_Jim
GiphyBritish Petroleum
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
~ RandomAmuserNew
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
~ LurkerOrHydralisk
Amoco
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
~ anitabelle
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
Overstock.com
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
~ WhatsABuckland
Snoop Dogg
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
~ RomanOnARiver
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
~ GotMoFans
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
~ OpanaMan
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
~ GotMoFans
GiphyBooks-A-Million
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
~ lynnyfox
KIA
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
~ vinyalwhl
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
~ VulfSki
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
~ User_Deleted_Content
Mark Chan on Unsplash
Royal Mail
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
~ PonITdude
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
~ ShinyHead0
"Twitter to X."
~ sandiercy
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
~ Safety_Drance
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
~ tommyk1210
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
~ SagittaryX
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
~ Pinksters
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
~ temalyen
GiphyCity Landmarks
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
~ baccus83
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
~ NoVaBurgher
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
~ nonanarchist
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
~ keytarin
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
~ New_Simple_4531
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
~ SheBrokeHerCoccyx
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Well...
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?