Helpful Veterinarians Share The Most Common Mistakes Pet Owners Make
Pets are NOT merely pets. Our pets are our friends, they are our family, mi familia. We love our pooches, kitties, horses, ferrets, birds... etc like they're our blood. I'd be willing to donate a kidney for my dog. But like any decent parent we are destined to screw our babies up, 'tis life. Instead of animal therapists we bombard our vets.
So Redditor ovalseven sent out a call for veterinarians who may be able to share wisdom for fur baby owners asking... Veterinarians of Reddit, what common mistakes are we making with our pets?
JENNY CRAIG AND COLGATE!! GET ON IT!
1) Letting them get fat 2) Not taking care of their teeth
Obesity and dental disease are far and away the most common problems I see.
HOLD THE CLAWS BACK!
Trim your pets' nails. I can't tell you how many times I've had to wrestle an ingrown nail out of an animals flesh. And that stuff can get in there deep. And most of the time, the animal doesn't give you any signs that it's in pain and the owners don't even notice it's happening.
LOOK PAST THE $$$$ PLEASE.
Veterinarian here. Not going to sift through all these comments so apologies if I'm echoing others.
Getting and relying on medical advice from breeders and groomers (with no medical background). I once saw a rat terrier with a fractured humerus, which typically requires surgical correction. As I stepped out of the room to check availability with a surgeon, the client called the dog's breeder who said not to follow my advice and to "just put the dog in a sling" and that she's "done on her own dogs plenty."
Also, not exercising dogs enough. Many behavioral problems can be solved with ample exercise daily.
DON'T IGNORE OUR SLITHEREN FAMILY
I'm seeing a lot of dog/cat posts so I'll throw one about snakes:
Snakes are not supposed to sneeze/cough. They lack diaphragms so if yours does this, take it to the vet immediately.
Please please do not drive with your snake free-roaming. This is extremely unsafe for the snake as it causes stress and could get stuck somewhere while you are driving.
Different snakes require different bedding's, humidity levels, enrichment etc. Just because it works for a corn doesn't mean it's meant for a ball python.
It is best, and highly recommended, to feed frozen to snakes. This is because live rodents can be dangerous to the snake if the snake does not want to eat (I've seen so many dead snake pets due to this) and also, easier storage. If your snake prefers a more lively meal, try dancing or running said dead mouse around the tank for it to attack.
Understand your snake and stress. Do not humanize your snake into thinking that it's behaving in a mammal/human like way. It could be showing signs of clear stress and your seeing it as "awe look at it's sassy face!" You can love your reptile while also respecting it's boundaries.
This is my personal rant/tip: If you want a cool, look at me accessory may I suggest a new hair do, a cool jacket or literally anything else besides a snake. These animals are surprisingly delicate to their environments and require everyday husbandry. You scaring people with it or using it as a way to get chicks is not helping the reputation of these pretty awesome creatures. They have fears, intelligence and likes/dislikes like any other animal. They are not breathing jewelry.
Reptiles in general are very complex pets to keep healthy. Do your research please. Learn the diets, the vitamins, the lights, the humidity etc. These animals can live to be over 20 yet rarely do due to poor husbandry.
And my tip for all animals in general is ENRICHMENT! Play with your pets, train them, give them puzzles, new toys, new hiding boxes, etc. Literally anything to keep their minds and bodies fit. These creatures rely on us for their whole lives, they do not have phones, tvs, books, etc. They have us, their owners. It's our responsibility to keep them entertained and living full lives. Even a fish could enjoy some new plants and scenery every once and awhile.
ARE YOU HIGH? YEAH, US TOO...
Hello! Veterinary Nurse here!
Kind of surprised I haven't seen this posted yet (might of missed it) however....
Please, if your pet got into your weed or edibles, just tell us! No we are not going to call the cops on you. We just want to treat your pet correctly & not waste our time!! We really don't care that you smoke!
Also, please put your weed up where your pets can't reach! If dogs will eat literal crap then yes they certainly will eat your pot & definitely all of your baked edibles & candy!
YOU GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS!
Not socializing/training puppies. Socialization (not just to other dogs! To people! Cats! Men in hats! Vet care! Foot touching, handling, bathing! Car rides! Etc etc etc), basic dog behavior and development knowledge, and positive reinforcement training with just a few basic commands can be the difference between a well adjusted dog in a loving home and a dog with persistent behavior issues being surrendered to a shelter. n't like it. (Thanks!!)
SHOW THEM THE WORLD!
I'm a vet. Not letting your dogs around other dogs until they have all their vaccines. Their socialization window closes about 14 weeks, meaning it is pretty much closed if you wait until 16 weeks. This causes a lot of dogs to go nuts and freak out whenever they see something they didn't see during that period.
Notice, I did NOT say to take them to the dog park! They need to be around other dogs (and other people) in controlled situations: puppy socialization classes, friends houses, etc. Make sure the dogs they are around are healthy, vaccinated, and good with puppies and let them have positive experiences with other dogs and people. Obviously NEVER get behind on their vaccines while you're doing this. Expose them to your tall friends, your friends of different races, your friends with beards, hats, sunglasses. Pull out the broom, an umbrella, an iron board... while giving them treats and having fun the whole time. Try to let them walk on slick floors, bricks, carpet, etc. so they won't have fears of those things. And always happy!!
Every happy, positive interaction with something makes them less afraid. Every lack of exposure, or negative interaction, makes them more afraid.
Your dog is your FRIEND, not your slave. Your goal is not to make him do exactly whatever you want no matter what. It's to make him have good manners, but also let him have his own preferences, too. You're not training him like he's in the circus to do a bunch of stuff for your amusement. You're teaching him how to move safely in the world, which means not doing something (biting, urinating in the house, jumping uncontrollably) that will be a threat to his life some day. More dogs are surrendered and euthanized for behavior reasons than any other reason.
TEETH!! TEETH!! THAT IS ALL.... FOR ALL OF US!
I'm graduating as a veterinarian in a few months. One of the most common things we see, and a very serious issue at that, is dental disease in pets, and often the owner has no idea that their animal's teeth are bad at all. Dental disease affects all body systems (bacteria and dental disease go hand in hand, and those bacteria end up all throughout the body, affecting organs such as the kidneys and the heart), not to mention it flipping hurts!! Some owners are under the impression that because their animal is still eating, that must mean that they do not have an oral health issue. The truth of it is, is you eat or starve. I like to tell people that the most common symptom you'll see in dental disease (besides, of course, the yucky mouth itself) is no symptoms. I have seen a lot of owners comment how their dog or cat is 'like they're young again!' after getting a much needed dental treatment, specifically the extraction of diseased teeth. Arguably the most important aspect of oral care that you can do at home is tooth brushing, optimally every single day with a veterinary toothpaste. Outside of that, regular physical examinations and professional dental cleanings under general anesthesia when necessary. Unfortunately, anesthetic free dental cleanings may do more harm than good, including giving you a false sense of security of your pet's dental health.
Former vet tech here. Few things.
- Spay/neuter your pets. No, Fifi does not need to have a litter, and it might actually endanger her health to do so (look up pyometra). There are too many unwanted dogs/cats in the world. Please don't add to the burden.
- Microchip your pet, and keep the information updated! It is usually the key to help your pet find their way back home!
- Play with your kittens feet. Seriously. Start as early as possible. This will help with nail trimmings!
- Socialize your puppies to anything and everything. When this is done safely, it can help prevent behavioral problems in the future.
- Learn to read your pets behavior! Knowing when they are stressed out/scared/sick can really help you avoid dangerous situations.
WHEN YOU GOTTA GO... YOU GOTTA GO!!
1 year away from being a full blown vet, worked as a technician for 4 years before vet school.
Please don't ignore cats screaming or "looking constipated," they are likely suffering a urinary blockage and they can die. Please bring them to a vet.
It's not as much the food as the kcals - read the bag. There are plenty of calculators online that will give you an idea of how much your pet should be eating. THEN compare that to the food you have (and measure out what is appropriate).
And please, please, be kind to your vet. It is all too often we are accused of "being in this for the money." We aren't, most of us take on huge loans to the tune of 200k to be your pet's doctor. We also have one of the highest rates of suicide as far as a profession goes. Please keep that in mind before you leave a mean review - we take failure personal, trust me. There may be some exceptions, but I speak for me and my colleagues. We love your pets too, that's why we spent 8+ years getting to be their doctor!
JUST KEEP SWIMMING!
Im in the middle of training right now, but one thing I see absolutely everywhere that kills me inside is fish being kept in small tanks or bowls. The idea that fish can be kept in bowls comes from the fact that people in east-asian countries like Japan would temporarily put their fish on display in bowls to show off to guests, and housed them in large ponds most of the time. Westerners assumed such small containers were suitable to house fish in and this is still wide-spread today. Not only does a bowl destroy your fish's health due to the lack of air touching the surface per unit volume of water, but the space you're giving your fish is basically comparable to keeping a human in one room the whole of their life. Fish are cleverer than people give them credit, and they feel pain and emotion more than people give them credit for also. They can't pull facial expressions that we can empathise with, so their mental wellbeing is often overlooked. Even small fish need a decent amount of space to live, and things in their tank to hide in or "explore". They grow much larger and live much longer than most people think. They absolutely need to be housed in the right accommodation, in the right environment (the amount of fish I've seen being kept on shelves next to loud speakers etc), and with the correct amount and type of other fish. It takes a lot of space, time and money to look after them decently- they're not the low-maintenance pets so many treat them as.
UNLESS IT'S IN TEQUILA... WORMS AIN'T NO FUN!
Heartworm prevention. I am in a rural place where the common theme is "dogs are tools" and therefore kept outside off leash. I have never made a grown ass redneck cry faster than telling him his favorite hunting dog has heartworms. Everyone knows the treatment is expensive and somewhat risky so they often have no choice but either euthanize or just let it run it's course. When they refuse treatment, prior to release we're obligated to tell them exactly what will happen and that's when the tears flow.
BUT... But... We offer ProHeart6. One shot = 6 months of protection. We offer AdvantageMulti. One pill covers fleas, ticks, heartworms, a few internal parasites and even mange. We have the options, please use them. I haven't steeled up yet. I still cry at every dog put to rest, especially a preventable one. You need meds if you live in an orange or red area.
ANIMALS NEED THERAPISTS TOO...
I'm a vet. I can list a million things I wish owners would understand about their pet's health, but equally important is understanding that if you cannot afford basic veterinary care then you cannot afford a pet. Period. This is an industry with serious mental health concerns. We are routinely presented with cases that could have been avoidable if you'd practiced the suggested preventative care, or brought your pet in for evaluation once the symptoms started rather than waiting 6 weeks until the animal is beyond help. We are routinely berated by the public for being uncaring or having no compassion for not providing our services for free, though often veterinary diagnostics are performed at a fraction of the cost of human diagnostics and the turn-around time is considerably shorter. I do not want to euthanize your beloved family member, but if you have no ability to cover the estimated cost of care, you put us both in an unfortunate situation. The fact that I have to euthanize multiple pets on a daily basis is one of the worst parts of my job. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but oftentimes a traumatic end could be prevented with basic yearly checkups. Also please don't expect me to cry over every euthanasia. If I didn't distance myself from the heart wrenching sadness, I would never be able to perform my job.
SHOW ME THE $$$$$!!
I Am a vet.
Please don't say that vets are "in it for the money." I'm raising a family of four and last year I brought home less than 60k. Vets make a living but we will never be wealthy. We do not make recommendations to take your money. We make recommendations because we genuinely care about your pet's wellbeing. I have been a vet for 13 years and just last year made enough to buy a car. A Honda. And I still owe $80k on my student loans.
Vets are NOT in it for the money.
KEEP THEM WHITES... PEARLY!!
Lack of dentistry or dental hygiene is probably the main thing I see. Dental cleanings are important, pets usually need a cleaning at or soon after 3 years of age, sometimes younger. A "teeth cleaning" at the groomer is not a dental. I'm talking about an anesthetized prophylactic cleaning and polishing. Similar to what you get at your human dentist. However we can't ask your pet to hold still and open its mouth or we take x-rays and clean the teeth and probe to check for pocketing, so anesthesia is necessary. Most veterinary hospitals use up-to-date equipment that provides safe monitoring for your pet. Just be sure to go to a reputable veterinary clinic or an animal dentist.
Unlike people, dogs' mouths are very different from one another. Think of a Yorkie vs a French Bulldog vs a Golden Retriever. The structure of the mouth between them are not the same across every dog. Cats are fairly similar to one another. The small mouths and teeth can often have more problems or need more frequent cleanings. There are a lot of factors that can vary when or how much "tartar" accumulates such as diet or dental hygiene treats or teeth brushing. Brushing a dogs teeth less than four times a week is almost ineffective. Dental hygiene treats work but aren't as effective as a cleaning and polishing. The worse it gets over time the more expensive it will be later on if you get them taken care of. Don't wait till it's too late. And yes, even if you keep up on annual dental cleanings it is still possible to have other problems like fractured teeth or root exposure, enamel loss from chewing or wearing. Dogs use their mouth like we use our hands, not just to eat but as tools. This has an effect on the teeth too.
I got a four month old German Shepherd in 2015 and have been trialing Oravet Dental Chews by giving him one dental treat every single day since I got him. He is now three years old and his teeth are still immaculate, I don't brush his teeth (because yes I'm lazy about that too) and he hasn't had a dental cleaning. Another German Shepherd that is only a couple weeks apart in age as my dog has already needed two dental cleanings.
Another common mistake with pets is obesity. Feeding the wrong foods, junk ingredients, or unnecessary nutrition. Dogs and cats are fairly simple for feeding and maintaining. Most food manufacturers provide a guidance to how much to feed based on weight. If you follow that and your pet starts gaining weight, then you know to change something. They don't eat something different for every meal like we do, it makes it easier to keep track of how much you should feed. Obviously there are medical conditions that might render this difficult such as thyroid hormones or metabolism, but generally speaking. A lean pet will have much better chance at remaining healthy. The majority of animals I see with lumps and bumps are overweight or not neutered or both.
If you have been a pet owner for several years or maybe more than a decade or two, you'll have noticed that the style of animal medicine has changed significantly. The availability of advanced medicine has increased exponentially, and so has your expectations as a pet owner. We understand this, but what comes with this is better care for your pets to result in longer lifespans while staying healthier longer.
LIFE IS ABOUT QUALITY!
I wish people would acknowledge the difference between 'surviving' and 'thriving'. This is most evident with exotic pets like reptiles and birds, but I think it applies to more common animals too. Too often you see people refusing certain treatment or being difficult about something because they (or usually their friend's partner's cousin or whatever) have heard of a case where X treatment wasn't needed. Even if that were true, years of education and decades of scientific research tell me that X is probably the best thing to help your pet thrive.
A LITTLE ROPE NEVER HURT ANYBODY... ASK CHRISTIAN GREY.
My vet told me she sees a lot of dogs with injuries from jumping out of vehicles. The owner usually says something about how they thought the dog's instincts would prevent them from jumping out while going down the road. Unfortunately, dogs have not been riding in the backs of trucks for thousands of years and don't seem to have totally evolved a set of instincts to deal with modern technology. If they see a squirrel, that might be all it takes to convince them it's a good idea to get out at 60mph. So always tie them up in a way that makes it impossible to get out.
I know, I know, your dog never does this and never would, right? That's what all of her clients said too.
DON'T PAY FOR THE LIES!!
Vet here. Didn't read every entry, so some may be repeated, apologies. Could go on all day but here are a few.
Grain free is 100% marketing. You're paying extra for absolutely no benefit. While we are on the subject, by products should not specifically be avoided. Pets need nutrients, not ingredients.
Spay and neuter. Why owners elect not to do this astounds me, considering the number of conditions that can be prevented by this simple procedure.
If you cannot afford to drop $200-300 once a year on your pet, you should not have a pet. This covers only the basic routine services a pet should receive once yearly (exams, preventative medications and testing, vaccines, etc). If you have a pet, set aside a specific emergency fund for this pet. Depending on the condition, a few hundred bucks can save a life. On a similar note, do not get a Great Dane and act surprise that medications for a 150lb dog are more expensive than your old terrier's medications.
Listen to your veterinarian. "The breeder said..." is not a valid excuse for anything. It doesn't take much to put two dogs in a room and wait 60 days. Why people say this to a veterinarian is beyond me. Your breeder makes money on making sure each bitch produces a large number of viable offspring- nothing more.
Please vaccinate for the conditions your veterinarian recommends, when they recommend them.
If you are not willing to spend the appropriate amount of time training and exercising your high energy dog, please get a fish. If you do not have experience with any dog in the working class, please at least put in the time to research and then train your GSD, GSP, etc. Do not purchase a pet for someone else as a surprise. Getting a pet is a 10-20 year commitment and should not be dumped on an unwilling or unable family member/girlfriend, etc.
Not really a mistake, more of a PSA- Veterinarians have one of if not the highest suicide rate by profession. This is influenced by high stress environment, desire to save every pet, inability to cope with a mistake, misdiagnosis or lost pet, high student loan debt, access to euthanasia/other drugs, view on euthanasia, etc. Please be kind to your veterinarian.
PAY ATTENTION!! YOU WILL BW JUDGED!
1 Declawing pet cats (unless someone in the house is immuno-compromised). It's considered inhumane. Contrary to what most people think, it isn't simply "taking off a nail." It's a literal digit amputation of the distal phalanx. That's like cutting your fingers off at the last knuckle.
2 Letting a de-clawed cat outdoors. They can't defend themselves and will die.
Edit: As some people have pointed out, "they will die" is not necessarily true. More likely, they will be horribly mauled or injured due to being largely defenseless. Is this an absolute certainty? No. But it's very possible. If you care about your pet, you should not want this in the realm of possibility, but what the hell do I know.
3 Not neutering your pets. They will lead arguably longer and happier lives if they are fixed.
Edit: Happier lives: cuts down aggressive/unwanted behavior which is usually the leading cause of being returned to a shelter; for being "bad" and misbehaved.
Healthier lives: No chance of death during pregnancy or any kind of reproductive cancers, such as testicular,, prostate, ovarian uterine etc. But what the hell do I know.
4 Never taking your pet in for an annual check-up. Things change in our pet's bodies faster than they do in ours. Think of their life-span as opposed to a humans.
Edit: I'm sorry my thermometer in your pet's tush is a bit uncomfortable and the mere sight of me get's him trembling. Believe me, when I went into this profession I wasn't expecting animals to dread coming to see me. But 15 minutes in the clinic, 1 day out of 365 is the least you can do for an animal that loves you unconditionally. But what the hell do I know.
5 Giving your pets "people medicine". A lot of the things we can ingest may be toxic to animals. You can kill your pet even with the best of intentions.
6 Waiting for weeks or days to rush in with an "emergency." Chances are your pet has been in considerable pain, treatment may be more complex/difficult and your bill will be much, much higher.
7 Equating food with love. Pet obesity is a real thing. You could be taking years off of your pet's life and causing them painful joint issues by over-feeding.
8 Feed a raw diet. Animals can get food poisoning too. Make sure to talk to your vet to ensure your pets diet adheres to certain species-specific guidelines.
Edit: As many people have pointed out, their pets are on Vet/AAFCO approved raw diets. Fine. As long as you're not throwing your pets whole chickens and calling it holistic. But what the hell do I know. Also, I was thinking of dogs and cats when I wrote this. I should have been more clear that there are exceptions for every species. Let your snake do its' raw snakey thing.
9 Make your pet vegan or vegetarian because you are. Cats absolutely need essential amino acids that can only be found in meat. They'll die otherwise.
10 Neglect dental health. This is a common issue we see at the office. Address oral health early and it'll save you money and your pet's teeth.
If you're reading this, chances are you love your pet! Thank you for being responsible owners.
Source: I'm a 4th year veterinary student
CAMELS ARE PETS TOO!!!
Well since nobody mentioned camels I guess I will
Make sure your camels have plenty of areas to scratch themselves against when they are shedding their coat. I put a post up and nailed the ends of rough broom brushes all around the post. Otherwise their fur will just matt and get gross.
Make sure you fence off any trees you don't want destroyed by atleast 1.5-2 meters (like 5 foot) because they'll lean over the whole fence to get to the trees.
Check the yard for nightshade berry bushes, they're poisonous to camels.
Ensure they have constant access to blocks of salt, otherwise they will begin to stress and start digging.
If your camel grows an abscess (extremely common) wait for it to enlarge before lancing it at the lowest point where it'll fall to gravity and flush with a 5050 iodine/peroxide mix and repeat over the next couple weeks until it heals. Also spray with chloromide to keep flies away.
Learning about a juicy family secret can typically go one of two ways.
Sometimes it's purely fascinating and fills us with the same excited interest as faraway gossip. Other times, however, it involves us personally, and the truth is hard to bear.
People all over the internet are loaded with stories of both varieties, and a recent Reddit thread asked folks to come forward with theirs.
Redditor skadarski asked:
"Did your parents reveal a secret to you once you reached adulthood? If so, what was it?"
For many, the deep secrets involved the hidden, true relationships between family members. Soap operas are not as fictional as we may have hoped.
A Holiday Reveal
"That I had a much older half-sister. Apparently my father had got some girl knocked up in high school, her parents didn't like him and thought they were too young to raise a kid, so they just packed up and moved. He knew she existed, but never tried to locate her and just moved on with his life."
"After I was in college, the sister had contacted him and they got together. Well nobody bothered to mention this fact to me until I come home from college for Thanksgiving and this strange women is sitting at the table and my dad says, 'Meet your sister.' "
Kept Far Away
"When I turned 18 I got a letter from a distant Aunt and Uncle wishing me a happy birthday."
"I hadn't seen them since I was a a baby, but there's hundreds of pictures of them and me together when I was a baby. They used to babysit me a lot and take me on vacations with them."
"My Mom told me they used me to smuggle things. I guess they said it was super easy to smuggle just about anything with a baby. At one point literally hiding cocaine in my diaper."
"When I was 18 my mom told me how my dad cheated on her with this woman named Kathy. I actually remembered Kathy when I was kid because my dad would take my brother and I to her house. She would buy us computer games and stuff so we loved her at the time. I never understood why my mom hated her until I was older."
"Kathy ended up marrying my dad's best friend. As an adult I was never nice to her and my dad would give me sh** about it. I finally told him that I knew about her and that mom had told me everything. He just said "Oh, alright then." He never gave me sh** again."
An Italian Coverup
"Kind of. My sister decided to take a DNA test to get some insight into her ancestry. She got her results back and had zero percent Italian, while our dad is 100% Italian. She didn't confront them right away and instead decided to wait until I took the test and get my results."
"Four weeks later I got my results back and sure enough, I also had zero percent Italian, and it actually identified my biological father, who isn't my dad. They revealed the secret when my sister intentionally let it slip that she was and I were waiting for our DNA results."
"I'm 38 and it never once came up. It wasn't even really for a bad reason, they had fertility issues and went to a sperm bank. I'm honestly not sure they ever would have said anything"
For others, the secret was all about the source--or absence--of cold hard cash.
A Deep, Deep Hole
"Most of my college was paid by someone named Tony (random dude to me). I know you're all thinking that it was some sort of lovechild thing, but it turns out my grandfather was a bookie and Tony was always just a bad gambler."
"So instead of My grandpa having his knees capped, he made a deal Tony would pay for college."
"My great-uncle (dad's uncle) left me a large sum of money in trust that I was to receive at either age 25, graduated from college, or was honorably discharged from military service (he retired from military), whichever came first. I had no idea and I'm glad I didn't."
"I joined the military right out of high school and when I had my DD-214 in hand, my parents took me to a lawyer who laid it all out. Wow. Because of the enhanced GI Bill, I didn't have to touch a cent of it for tuition. I did use it to buy a house though."
"I miss my great-uncle as much for his wisdom as his company."
More Generous Than Any Knew
"My grandfather was a small business owner who everyone always thought of as extremely frugal due to growing up poor. Later we found out he spent a significant amount of money on charitable causes and helped a lot of his employees with financial and in one case legal trouble."
"Positive secret, but it was definitely a secret."
And some shared truly bizarre stories from the years they were too young to know what the heck was actually going on.
A Secret Prolonged
"Not yet, but when I was in college and my parents got divorced, my dad gave me all the information on what to do if he passes. Told me where things are, and had me go to his bank to sign a document for access to his account after he dies."
"When we were leaving the bank, he told me, 'your mother is not who you think she is. Everything you need to know is in my deposit box.' "
"I have no clue what he could be talking about—he never elaborated, and my mom laughed it off when I told her about it."
"Guess I'll find out one day."
Not Just A Saying
"When I was a kid, my dad accidentally killed a raccoon with his car. It had a young one with it that wasn't hit, so we adopted the baby raccoon."
"We adored it, but we were not at all equipped to care for it. There was no lock or cage that could stop this thing. It was very clever, strong and curious. It got into cupboards and ate food and trash, and we'd find its sh** in the most random places."
"One day my dad sat me down and told me that my raccoon had 'gone to live on a farm.' I was old enough to know what that meant, and I was heartbroken."
"Just a few years ago I was telling this story to my husband and my dad interrupted me and said that he literally, actually gave my raccoon away to a work acquaintance of his that had a farm and a lot of wooded property. It had become so accustomed to humans it constantly broke into the man's house and ate his food, and got enormously fat and lived a long ornery raccoon life."
"There was story growing up about how a local prince wanted to marry me and offered things like cows for my hand in marriage."
"When my father passed away I went to my home country and met cousins I had not met before."
"Turned out the prince was the president's son and it wasn't an offer, it was a demand. We snuck out of the country because he was going to make me his wife - bear in mind, I was a toddler."
"My mom filled in the back story. The company my dad worked for had to smuggle us out of the country. My life was so exciting when I was 6."
Perhaps these stories have you feeling like your life could be more exciting. But before you start thinking that way, perhaps there are secrets you simply haven't heard yet.
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Try as we might to control our impulses, it's not always possible. Sometimes something happens to us or in front of us that really engages something in us that we were not expecting.
We are animals first and foremost and sometimes the actions of others trigger a response in our animal brains. We really can't control it, but we can tell when it's happening to us and we can control our response.
"What is something a friend did that accidentally turned you on?"
Here were some of those answers.
Reding Is FUNdamental
"A friend was reading a brochure out loud to me, nothing salacious, but the feeling of being read to felt very intense and intimate."
"I fell in love for about 30 seconds. Haven't gotten anyone to read to me since :)"-squindy9
Parka De Car
"My friend was driving and he had to take out the card to tap into a carpark. He started to reverse into a lot and had the card between his pursed lips."
"He also placed his arm around the headrest of the seat next to him. When I looked at him... damn it looked kinda hot... I don't know how or why that aroused something in me."-aglioolio-burrito
"It was the reversing with the arm on the headrest thing. I have zero idea why, but that theme has popped up (hurrrr) is numerous threads like this."-Nihilator68
Just Basic Human Goodness
"Comforted me. I was crying about how I was struggling in life and in college. I was thinking about withdrawing for a semester to get things together."
"My mom had just been diagnosed with MS. I went to a female friend for help. She started rubbing my head and hugging me, and saying I'll be okay."
"I was so deprived of human touch it was amazing and made me feel so much better. Then I got hard which made me feel extremely guilty."-LordBungholeSurfer
What is it about the sly touches, the pursed lips, and the little sideways glances that really get us going?
"This happened to me in 7th grade. I was seated behind my friend who turned around so he could copy something off my paper."
"I was hunched over it with my hair hanging in my face so he swiped my hair back from my face behind my ear and grazed my cheekbone when he did. Pretty much ignited my puberty in that moment."
"Come to think about it we had a very platonic relationship with a lot of playful fondling."-Camp_Express
This Is NOT The Start Of A Porn
"I went over to his friends house (where he was staying. He was working on his car and I was like yo, I'm here loser and he pushes himself out from under the car."
"And he was all greasy and the first thing he asked was if I'd help work on the car with him and when I said yes he just had the biggest smile on his face."
"He looked like an idiot and I dunno man, the greasy look with the beautiful white smile was just… ugh"-oh_the_struggle
"Girl I knew in college for four years and we were strictly platonic."
"We came out of a bar one night and a guy who frequently asked people for money was walking up so without missing a beat she grabs me and starts making out with me."
"Guy walks away and she pulls back staring up at me for a second before patting me on the chest and saying 'works every time.'"
"We left and never spoke about it again. Nice improvisation, Kristin but now my pants don't fit right."-RevSnakebite
Pro Tip: Don't Date Co-Stars
"I was a theater kid in high school. One of my costars had this odd habit when she'd need to focus on a difficult part or queue we were working on. She'd bite her lower lip and get this really angry look on her face."
"I don't know why, but that stupid look on her face drove me up the goddamned wall."
"We were in Sweeney Todd my senior year. I was Sweeney, she was Mrs. Lovett. There's a section of the play where we danced together and sang a song called 'A Little Priest.'"
"We were both great singers but god awful dancers, so it took a long time to master it. The whole time rehearsing, she'd stare at me angrily, biting her lower lip."
"That was like... 16 years ago and I still get a little flustered when I think about it lol."-Chingparr
But now you're starting to remember the little moments too, aren't you?
"Night out. Me (M[ale]) and few friends just chilling and drinking. Then one of my friends (F[emale]) who had drunk a couple of drinks too much tried to stand up from the sofa we were sitting on. "
"But then she fell back and at the same time she grabbed me by my thigh for support, in which point the little guy woke up. And now I'm scared if someone touches my thighs..."-MrZere
This Is A True Dream
"We would go on walks every night for a few months, just talking about our days. Her laugh was so interesting to me."
"I could feel a lot of conflict in it somehow, and I always wanted to know what was going on but didn't want to ask too many questions."
"Eventually she told me about life at home which was awful to hear, but while she was telling me she grabbed my hand."
"It lasted maybe two weeks just holding hands and walking, chatting and just strictly friendship then she moved to the opposite coast."
"She was sweet and beautiful outwardly and in her soul. She winked at me one time, when punking her young sibling. It left me breathless."
"We were 16 at the time, but I still wonder where she ended up. Ms. T. Haas.. if you're reading this let's go for a walk!"-RagingConfluence
Happy End, Happy Ending
"She was meant to be going out with her friends one night, so she was all dressed up, but agreed to help me get headshots for my art project at the last minute (needed reference pictures)."
"We took a little longer than expected so she ended up staying home and we hung out and chatted for a while."
"From the way she was sitting, her dress kept slowly sliding up revealing her thigh so she'd fix it. I was across the room from her so I could see what was going on."
"After this happened a couple of times she kinda stopped fixing it (it wasn't revealing too much), but I couldn't help but notice. That was the moment when I realised I had a thing for legs."
"We have a happy ending though, she's now my girlfriend and things are going really well."-Cyanide_Revolver
So it is a big thing and it happens all the time. That's not to say it's not notable when it does--but as humans, we are almost completely beholden to our feelings.
Sometimes those feelings even lead to happy endings. Literally.
We've all heard of toxic masculinity. You know, that thing where men don't want to do anything remotely feminine, like wear pink, or wash their a**holes in the shower because they think it's “gay"? Yeah, that thing. It sucks, but sometimes it's important to remember that people of all genders can be toxic AF too.
Let's talk about toxic femininity, shall we? VysX_ asked:
There's toxic masculinity but what are examples of toxic femininity?
For some reason, toxic femininity gets really, REALLY prevalent when they become moms. It’s weird and kinda creepy, if you ask me.
Why does Little League bring out the worst in people?
“Mothers who treat other people like crap and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear."
“A few years ago my son's team was playing a little league game against another team. We had a very good team that year and the other team was really struggling. Despite this, it was a close game going into the 5th (i.e. next-to-last) inning.
Well, we're batting and the wheels finally come off for the opposition. A kid on our team gets a simple hit to the outfield and the other team proceeds to go full tee-ball and throw it all over creation. What should have been a single turns into a 3-run HR.
As the batter crosses home plate, fans are going nuts, players are going nuts, everyone is going nuts, and the star player on the losing team just melts down. He picks up the ball and throws it as hard as he can right at our dug out. There's a safety fence of course, so no one gets hurt, but it was still very much an "Oh, snap" moment for everyone.
At this point, the ump turns to the losing coach and says, "Coach, you need to get a hold of your player." That's it. That's all he said. He didn't say anything to the player; he didn't kick him out of the game; he just gave the coach a direct warning.
Next thing I hear is "DONT YOU TALK TO MY BABY THAT WAY" as the dug-out mom comes firing out of the other dug-out, heading straight for the ump. Fortunately for everyone, the head coach comes out of nowhere to intercept her. He proceeds to restrain her and walk her (and the player) away. The whole game stops for ~5 minutes while those three basically have a group hug in the middle of the infield.
Fortunately, that was the end of the drama. I still give major props to that other coach for somehow diffusing that situation without getting the police involved. But I will never understand what was going through that lady's mind."
We can all do “womaning” differently.Wendy Conrad GIF by Your Happy WorkplaceGiphy
“To me it would mean women who bag on other women for womaning differently than they do.
This becomes really toxic after childbirth. Some women will feel nothing about letting you know how you are parenting wrong by using this product or letting you child do this particular thing.
Women who are able to stay at home will be made to feel guilty for not helping to provide; and women who work are made to feel guilty for abandoning their child.
I wish women were more understanding about dealing with differences and letting things slide a bit more. You should never feel higher after putting someone else down.
That being said, I don't know how we did it, but I found the world's greatest group of moms when my son was a year and a half old. We came from all walks of life and supported the ever-loving hell out of each other. This was in Phoenix late 90's and we were completely tight until I moved away when my son was 5. I miss all of em."
They should know better than to tear down other women.
“It's very common for mothers or female relatives to be some of the first ones to comment on a woman's weight, appearance, or personal style/fashion choices, as well as reinforcing a sense of self-hatred (i.e. "I look so fat in this outfit, and you look so ugly in that color"), all while tearing other women down ("I can't believe she's wearing that, doesn't she know how she looks??").
When you have that reinforcement that it's normal to say things like that, because if your mom does it then it's okay to do it too, then you just treat it as normal. And because it's so common, you find other women to do it with and it just becomes a cycle. If you try to break it, then you're labeled as sensitive, a bore, and "Oh my god we're just having fun, chill out, it's not that serious."
I still remember the first time I called my mom on talking sh*t about a woman wearing something she didn't like, and she got so f*cking mad at me."
Let’s dive into the tearing down other women thing some more. We as a society need a wake-up call.
It’s like high school all over again.
"Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.
Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.
Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!"
“When I first got out of grad school, my first (and as it turns out, only) teaching job was long-term substituting for a friend while she went on maternity leave. The kids/classroom were mine for the first half of the school year, but we coordinated so that things would be pretty smooth transitioning back to my friend teaching at the end of her leave.
My friend was part of a two-teacher team who ran the 8th grade Student Council. I told the other teacher that I would be happy to help her with the club in my friend's absence, but she insisted she didn't need my help. She then proceeded to 100% ignore me and treat me as if I was invisible during all future interactions. 8th-grade team meetings, if I said even a single word, she shot me side eye, even though what I had said was not at all related to her; just a kind of "you're not a real teacher, how dare you speak?" vibe she was giving off.
My last day, my friend came in after school to put her classroom stuff up as I took my own down. The other teacher and two other women (the PE coach who I'd never talked to and another teacher, I don't remember) came in to help her, but none of the three of them offered to help me take any of my own things down or pack any of it up. They also said things like, "Is this yours or hers?" to my friend, even though I was standing right f*cking there. They also gushed about how excited they were that she was back; again, right in front of me.
After I was finally done putting away all my things--again, by myself--I just left without a word. I texted my friend about it later, and she apologized for her other friends' behavior but just excused it as, "Yeah, they're definitely the 'Mean Girls' types".
I was just floored. These were TEACHERS. You know, the people who are supposed to teach children NOT to bully other people? And I had never been anything but nice to everyone I met during my time there, but they didn't care. I wasn't part of their group, so I wasn't worth their time.
It became one of a laundry list of reasons I decided I didn't actually want to be a teacher for a living, after all.
tl;dr - personally experienced cliquey adult women in the education field, of all places. It sucked.”
“My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.
What were we talking about? Real estate prices."
“No joke, I had a professor I was close with because we were both single moms and she gave me the advice to wear a wedding band even without a man and that the other moms would chill out a bit. It worked and my daughter started getting more opportunities for playdates. It's really demoralizing."
I think we all need to learn how to be more forgiving.
Toxic office culture is the literal worst.come together love and hip hop GIF by VH1Giphy
“The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture."
“Did they also have a compulsive, competitive need to please the male figures in the department? I go weekly to a fairly small medical department where the head doctor is male and the majority of nurses and admin are female. They treat him like an absolute God and defer to him with everything. He's a huge d*ck and of course, has a big ego by now."
This girl isn't just toxic--she's a monster.
“A girl in the grade below me (I'm a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time and she asked, "Why do so many people care about her dying? It's not like she was pretty anyways."
This was the type of girl that says, "What??!! I am SOOO nice."
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO of that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can't figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well, honey, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Edit: Some of you have said that I should tell her and I did. Apparently, she would "literally never say that about her" and also apparently "I know nothing about her." (My ex. Dated for 4 years. Know nothing)"
This is how eating disorders start.
“Probably the culture around eating.
When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I'd be if I lost weight, how that's why most guys weren't into me, how I'd regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn't overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.
So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.
That's really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I've only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers.”
As a woman myself, I’ve encountered plenty of toxic femininity in my life. It’s almost as terrible as the objectifying sh*t I hear men saying about women all the time. We have to be rid of cattiness and tearing other women down.
Remember what we actually need to be working against. So much sexism exists in the world, and we have to stick together.
We all know we don't have endless time on this earth, so we prioritize things that we want to do while we are around. We create bucket lists and dream boards and imagine all the endless possibilities for adventure. Often, those bucket lists include dangerous acts like sky diving or deep sea exploration.
But what about things you would never do in your lifetime. Not for any other reason other than it being too fear inducing or too dangerous. We went to Ask Reddit to find out what those wild adventures are that just aren't worth the risk.
Some folks also shared that they made some serious life decisions that were important to their health and well being. Trying dangerous substances or staying on top of their weight loss was important and they never wanted to take that risk again.
Redditor machine1892 asked:
"You all know what a bucket list is, what is on your 'f*ck no, not ever list'?
Let's find out what people are just not willing to do.
Exploring the depths of the unknown is just too unknown.
"Cave diving or underground not fully explored dark tight tunnels. The movie 'As Above So Below' and the real life tragedy of 'Nutty Putty Cave' was enough for me to add that to my f*ck no list."
"A real caver once told me that for every 1 hour you travel into a cave, it will take them 4 hours to drag your busted up @ss out of there if something goes wrong."
"I'm a caver and one black humor mantra I've heard before is 'Don't worry, help is just 3 days away!' due to the difficult nature of cave rescues."
"That said, there are incredible teams of cavers who will do everything possible to rescue people and animals from cave-related incidents. I have a whole book covering the past few decades of cave rescues."
"Dunno if you will have seen this, but there's an old American emergency/911/sh*t happened kind of show in which 4 open water divers on air go 30ft down, and the instructor tells them to avoid entering the cave around that level both in briefing, and signs to surface, and 3 of them don't and go into the cave."
"Instructor alerts people at surface, seconds away, there is a trained cave rescue diver on scene by chance, he is in within 2 minutes, and saved one of them."
"Literally, they are less than 35 ft from surface, less than a minutes travel into the cave, and only one survives, despite having a guy right there, with lights, trimix and the right training."
"Dive talk covered it at one point."
If you're claustrophobic, this is definitely off your bucket list.
"A submarine or anything else bad for a claustrophobe."
"lol I worked on subs for 4 years….it's cool once, then it's just cramped, tiny and annoying."
"Son was a Navy Nuc on a ballistic missal sub. Said he was too busy working, eating or sleeping to be claustrophobic. I got to tour the sub once. I am extremely proud of him but thought he was crazy."
The ocean can destroy you.
"I absolutely fear the ocean and I won't go out farther than 6ft lmao. So I'd never go on things such as cruises or boat trips. It also doesn't help that I can't swim."
"I'm VERY comfortable in the water, but even I still fear the ocean. I live in Hawaii and swim, board, fish, kayak treasure hunt, etc., all things ocean-related and love every second of it but man the ocean will destroy you. People die here all the time. An experienced surfer died here a couple weeks ago in an area considered a calmer area. A couple of days ago another girl fell off the rocks and drowned. If you do not respect the ocean, you will die."
"There were 3 rescues today at a popular bodyboarding beach in my town. Only 2 survived."
That early 2000s game show is nightmare worthy.
"Those Fear Factor games where they put a sh*t ton of spiders or other scary creatures on top of you while you lay there. Yeah, that's a huge f*ck no from me."
"The ones where they make you eat a whole lot of stuff that's not just weird or another culture's food (i.e. crickets/tripe) but is actually seriously unhealthy ... like drink a litre of rancid oil... are far worse, to my mind."
"I always said the prize money from that show was to cover medical bills because there's no way people were 100% okay afterwards."
"That's actually why the show got cancelled. They made a girl drink donkey semen and the network finally said 'enough.'"
"Not even kidding, one of the most popular shows in the UK is where we send celebrities to live in the jungle for three weeks and do exactly this to them! And the celebs who go on it LOVE IT!"
Keeping off the weight.
"Become obese again."
"I was obese for almost 10 years of my life, but I decided to lose the weight in my early 20s. Feels great to be active and healthy."
"I'm here with you. Was 250 at my largest, I've since lost over 70 pounds and am in my mid-twenties. It feels great to look great, which I expected, but it feels better to just feel healthy. I wanted to lose weight more for vanity reasons, now I care way less about those and just love being healthy. I'm not at my goal weight but I feel amazing and it's such a huge contrast. So congrats, I'm really happy for you!"
"That's how I feel. At my heaviest, I was at 235 and I'm down to 202, but it's not even the weight loss that keeps me going. For the first time ever I actually craved working out when I went on vacation for a week and couldn't. The vacation was fun, but damn my body went back to aching at the end of it. If I don't stretch I get really bad pain from sitting down for work."
This cheese is called Casu Martzu. It's a sheep's milk cheese that has living larva inside.
"Those who do not wish to eat them place the cheese in a sealed paper bag. The maggots, starved for oxygen, writhe and jump in the bag, creating a "pitter-patter" sound. When the sounds subside, the maggots are dead and the cheese can be eaten."
"Somehow, there is a hint of sadism behind this paragraph."
Though there are plenty of people who have done these things, there are good reasons to avoid them. Especially for those choices that were life threatening or deadly.
What's most important in your life is finding what is meaningful for you and doing what makes your life worth living.
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