Heartbroken Single People Reveal Their Most Depressing And Terrible Break-Up Stories
Breaking up with someone, or having someone break up with you, is never fun. Occasionally, though, breakups get nasty. Really nasty. And P-E-T-T-Y. Whether you're happy in a relationship or not, the way in which a breakup is handled can often cause more collateral damage than a toxic partnership.
This is why I'm single. This is why I have three cats.
Reddit's peopleoftomorrow8 asked, "What is the worst thing to do/say to break up with someone?"
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Beep beep. We're over.
Back in high school (late 90s) my friend got broken up with via pager code.
She had to decipher that sh*t to figure out the guy was dumping her...
"April fools" except it's not a joke.
My boyfriend broke up with me on April fools day. Took a lot of "no seriously" for me to believe him
Convince me to quit my job, sell my house, and spend thousands studying for and taking the bar exam in a new state because you got a good job offer there, then cheat on me with some guy you met playing Heroes of Newerth, give me herpes, tell me you're just not attracted to me anymore, and ask me to move out now that I have no house and no job.
Having mommy do it? Really?
When I was 14 my boyfriend tried to break up with me by ghosting me, unfortunately, I was extremely dense and didn't get the hint. So he had his mum break up with me over the phone. Good times!
Changing your Facebook status from "in a relationship" to "single" without warning is ghosting at its worst
Yeah 11 or 12 years ago I was on my computer looking at Facebook when I noticed my girlfriend of a year-and-a-half's Facebook status changed from 'in a relationship' to 'single'.
I figured it was probably a mistake and sent her a text joking about it and went to bed. The next day I had no reply from her. I tried calling and just got voicemail. I tried calling a couple times for the next few days and no reply. I tried her parent's house and they said she was at work. I tried her work and they said she was busy and couldn't come to the phone. I drove to her work to figure out what was going on and she started crying and said it was all okay she was just going through some things and would call me after work.
I never heard from her for like another week or two till I texted her and asked what I should do with all her stuff she left at my house (Like 3 garbage bags full of clothes and random stuff). She told me she would come pick it up tomorrow. She never showed. Then she texted and said she'd come the next day. This pattern repeated for about a month, I offered multiple times to drive her things out to her or even leave them at her parents or a mutual friends house for her to pick up. Finally one day after not showing up to pick her stuff up when she said she would I threw everything in the trash. I texted her saying I threw it in the trash and she called me and yelled a bunch of obscenities at me then hung up.
That month was incredibly rough. I had no idea what happened or why she dumped me or how she could be so mean. It was seriously the worst. The sad part is I was just finishing a surprise painting of her and her horse when she ghosted me. I spent so long on it and it actually looked really good. I hung onto it for a long time after she started ghosting me thinking I would give it to her when she picked up her stuff. A last vestige of hope from a heartbroken man. It ended up torn in half and thrown in the garbage with the rest of her belongings.
So many potential questions answered with five words.
One time a guy invited me to a beautiful picnic with wine and flowers and then when I tried to sit down he said "Don't eat anything, Rebecca's coming." And then he broke up with me.
It can be cold in New York City, but not this cold. Ouch.
One girlfriend I was on and off with for a while may fall into this category. Dated in college in Maryland and when I graduated I had to move for a job to New York. I wanted to do long distance and we kept talking, but we started to fade because I was stressed in my job.
After a while, I went back to where we both lived and took her out for her birthday with my family as it was my dad's birthday too. Got her a gift and flowers and surprised her at work and everything. I tell her she should visit New York but she always said no because she was broke.
Fast forward to later that week, I check her snap story and she was in New York, with another dude, saying she's the luckiest girl in the world or whatever. I text her like yo tf what is this, she proceeds to block my number and I text her via Facebook saying she just confirmed my beliefs and to have a nice life. Tells me to leave her alone.
So yeah, I think this one's pretty bad. She still hits me up from time to time and I ignore her and have her blocked on everything else. Oh well, live and learn.
Is this better or worse than dumping someone on Valentine's Day?
I once broke up with my gf the day before Valentines Day. Was told by everyone I was an assh*le.
Edit: Forgot to mention it was over the phone.
Honestly, Valentine's Day is the worst.
Only things worse is sitting through an incredibly awkward dinner on V-Day that you could just barely afford because you work a part-time minimum wage job only to confront her about the guy she's been texting the entire evening and get broken up with over text when you get home.
That was me a few years ago. Can't make this sh*t up.
Like I said, P-E-T-T-Y.
About 10 years ago, I had a boyfriend who was from another state. After dating for about six months, he asked me to bring him to the airport for a flight home for Christmas, which of course I did. He called me about three hours later (on his layover) to tell me he left something in my glove box for me. Thinking left something sweet for me for Christmas, I rushed out to my car and excitedly searched through. It wasn't a sweet gift, it was a letter breaking up with me.
That's a pretty bad way to do it.
This is just unnecessarily petty.
My ex broke up with me five days before our one year anniversary, on which he told me "I planned to propose to you today but I dumped you instead".
Using depression as a cover for cheating? Rude. Not realizing "I need space" is code for "this is over?" A valuable lesson.
"I need space due to my depression" by space I mean need to go bang my manager for a few weeks then break up with you the day before your birthday.
I don't think it works that way, but okay.
"I don't think I'm gay after all." After six months, my ex-fiance that I lived with came to that groundbreaking conclusion.
Thanks for nothing.
"You helped me through a tough time, but I'm going to try it with my ex again."
The classic save-face method of heartbreak.
It's not you it's me
Sounds like he did you a favor... yikes.
My ex told me that the (his name) I fell in love with was dead and never coming back while Silas (the really bad and ugly personality who lives in his head) had taken full control of him.
So yeah. Probably that.
This would tear my soul apart too.
She said "do you know how many times I rolled my eyes after I turned over to go to bed after you said I love you?" Tore my soul apart
This is some Dante-level nasty.
One time this guy I'd been seeing for two weeks took me to a cemetery and broke up with me by the reasoning "You're too morbid." Then he went back to my house and copulated with my sister.
Ten years of friendship thrown away via text. That's a low blow.
By text. 30 minutes before we had dinner plans. A few months before our 3 year anniversary. And we were both 26.
We lived 10 minutes away from each other and were never long distance, had known each other for 10+ years at that point, and I got a f*cking text.
Awkward, but hey, whatever keeps the peace.
Not a bad break up, per-say, but not the ideal aftermath: My now-ex and I split when we were living together, but there was only 3 weeks left on the lease so we decided to stay living together for those 3 weeks and then move our separate ways once it had finished.
It was all fine until we agreed that since we were no longer dating we could do as we pleased, so came along many nights of me being home and him staying out all night or vice versa, I ended up going to a different city for a week to work and when I got back he went away for a week. It mainly only got awkward when I signed up for a dating app and saw him on there. But then it became comical, I asked him about how it was going and he said he'd met a few girls and that's where'd he'd been staying, and then he helped me set up my profile, helped me choose good photos and write a bio.
But hey I met my current partner on that dating site and now my ex and I are both in long-term relationships now with other people and we still see each other around occasionally, but no biggie.
It was a weird month.
Kids today will never know the hurt.
Do it over AIM, like my HS girlfriend in 2003.
I'm over her, but I'm still not over how she did it. What a low f*ckin move.
The punishment definitely fit the crime.
My buddy in high school walked up to his gf and her friends and said "everyone with a boyfriend raise their hand, WHOA NOT SO FAST"
She kicked him in the balls.
And I thought MY parents' divorce was ugly...
What my dad did to my mom. They were married 26 years, and she was incredibly hard to get along with. He was a really passive person and was no match for her temperament. He wanted a divorce but was too chicken to say so. He waited until her father died and they were in the car, driving home from his funeral. She was at her weakest, totally crushed. He told her he never loved her and wanted a divorce. Good timing, assh*le. He and I were always joined at the hip until then. He was too big of a wuss to realize how cruel he had been to a fellow human being.
"That year was one of the worst of my life." Yeah, this is bad. But this mother is an inspiration.
My last ex dumped me a week before we were supposed to move in together. I let my lease run out on my apartment, I quit my job, I took my kids out of school (it was winter break and I had time to set them up in their new school before school was back in session). To compete it all, I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks before. So I lost my house, my job, and my kid's school because he decided to be an assh*le.
He didn't even have the decency to do it in person. He told me over the phone and then had the audacity to ask for his radio back. The only reason I didn't end up homeless was because my mom got sick and asked me to move to her state to help her out and so she could see my kids before she passed away. She passed away 2 months later. So yeah... that year was one of the worst of my life.
I'm doing better now. I'm in a stable relationship, I kept the baby, I own a car, have a stable job, my kids are straight A students, and I rent out a townhouse. Still, it was a f*cked up thing to do to me and subsequently my kids.
And the worst breakup story goes to...
My time to shine! When I was 22 I was married. After 3 weeks of being in the hospital with a collapsed lung, I took a cab back to our apartment. I walked into seeing him having sex with another girl in our bed. He looked over his shoulder and calmly said "do you mind? I'm not done yet." No assh_le you're done.
People hard up for cash will do anything. But what about the other way around?
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
"I rented my chicken to a photographer for fifty bucks."
Gotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Everyone talks about how the 20s are supposed to be the time of our lives. And that's largely true. But it's not all wine and roses.
Among all the freedom and youthful exuberance, so many people spend that decade struggling through the chaos of having absolutely no idea what their passion is.
And when we've internalized the desire to find an occupation that aligns with our values, sounds cool to talk about, and provides us with existential fulfillment, it can be difficult to identify the perfect fit.
So we hum along rather aimlessly.
Thankfully, some people do find their vocation and hunker down. But for others, it takes a little longer.
Perhaps struggling to locate that ideal passion, Redditor wibly_wobly_kid asked:
"People who discovered their passion at a later stage of life, what is it and how did you figure it out?"
Many people talked about making a career switch when they least expected. For the longest time, they new they didn't enjoy their work, but they didn't know what to do instead.
Hiding In Plain Sight
"I went to college twice in my early 20s for journalism and communications, but never graduated. I spent the rest of my 20s in a dead end food service job, miserable and angry at myself. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life"
"My extended family has lots of little ones (cousins having cousins) and every time there was a family get together, I always found myself playing with and entertaining the kids. One day, my uncle pointed out how good I was with kids, and did I ever consider working with them? I laughed it off but later thought 'hey, I have nothing better going on. What's the harm in researching a bit?' "
"I found out I could become an early childhood educator, working in daycares or kindergarten classes. So I applied to a couple of colleges and got in right away (applied on a Monday and got accepted the Friday). I quit my dead-end job and focused entirely on school. I made the dean's list all 4 semesters (something I have never done), and aced all my classes."
"I had a placement at a daycare/before and after school card place, and they hired me right after I finished my placement. So now I'm working there and happier than I ever was in my 20s"
Never Too Late
"Law. I was 45 when I went back to school. I'd worked blue collar jobs all my life, was a high school dropout. My daughter started taking paralegal classes and I thought, 'I could do that.' "
"So I got my GED and signed up for a 2-year paralegal certificate program through the local community college. Fell in love with law. Also discovered I was good at it. I had several professors who were lawyers tell me I'd be wasted as a paralegal and should go to law school."
"So I transferred to a 4-year school. Worked full time through undergrad and graduated with honors. Got into law school. I graduated law school at 55, oldest in my class. But I'd gone from being a high school dropout to a lawyer in just 10 years."
"Passed the California bar first try and I've been a public defender ever since, which is the only thing I ever wanted to do with it. I'm 60 now but I'm healthy and energetic and have a lot of years left. I love what I do, I'm very good at it, and it's the best move I ever made."
Every Week an Achievement
"Was 39 when I took a temp job in a social services type industry. Just basic stuff."
"Realised after a couple of years that I'd circled back to my idealistic 17yo self's plan for my career. Spent the previous 20 working sh** jobs I hated."
"Turns out it's really important to do something that aligns with your values. Finish the week feeling like I've contributed to society, rather than working to screw people for money."
Others discussed the passions they've discovered outside of their working life. These won't bring home any income, but their importance to life satisfaction cannot be understated.
"My dad discovered his life's biggest passion at 67. Mountain climbing. Serious mountaineering."
"He climbed Kilimanjaro and Whitney just months apart."
Plenty More Shredding In Store
"I started Rollerskating (on ramps) just before I turned 40 , it's never too late to start, you just need more safety gear :)"
"I've been doing it for years now I'm in my mid 40s and still rollin. It makes me a bit sad I didn't start when I was younger, but I reckon i've got another ten years left in me."
Moving the Needle On Women's Pockets
"Sewing/tailoring clothes. On a whim I took a class at a local community center and got hooked. After learning some basics in the class and following some YouTube videos I can make a passable pair of pants/trousers and basic shirts. I'm lucky that my local library had sewing machines you could check out so I didn't need to commit any real money early on."
"The best thing to come out of learning this new skill was making a pair of pants with actual pockets for my wife. Guys, you have not seen joy until you see your wife get a pair of functional custom pants with human-sized pockets. I thought her head was going to explode she was so happy."
Keep an Ear Out for Jingles
"I always wanted to learn an instrument that wasn't academic related."
"Over COVID lockdown I picked up the guitar."
"I picked it up pretty quick. So I learned the drums."
"Now I'm finishing building a music studio. I wanna write commercial jingles and just throw a bunch of sh** online for fun"
Unexpected, But Sounds Awesome
"I'm 31, but one year ago I discovered camels. Now I own three. I love them 🥰" -- ZhenHen
"I assume you are not talking about cigarettes, so how does one acquire not only one but three camels? Where do you live? How much did they cost? I'm very intrigued." -- dufresne90
"When you're into camels, every day is Hump Day." -- HolIerer
And a few put a finer point on the nature of that work vs. hobbies dynamic. They assured that one's professional career doesn't necessarily have to provide all the fulfillment they're looking for.
Sometimes, we just need to punch the clock.
Earning Free Time
"PSA: you don't have to be passionate about your job. Your passion can be a hobby you do in your free time. I don't think I will ever find a vocational passion."
"Used to think I was broken because of that but really there is no requirement to be head over heels about what puts money on the table and food in the pocket!"
Career's Moving, Still Painting
"Late 40s here. Got a book called Learn to Draw in 30 Days about 4 years ago. Then about 3 years ago I heard about #the100daychallenge where the goal is to create art every day for 100 days. I never stopped and made it a goal to hit 1000 days."
"In that time, I won contests, got about two hundred commissions, raised over $5000 for a charity, and had a great time. When I hit the 1000 days back in December, I decided to go back to college and get an art degree. I signed up for classes and talked with my manager at work to see how much they would pay for college, she was excited that I was going to get a business degree and said she'd work on getting all of the classes covered."
"Free college became too tempting to pass up so now I'm planning on getting the business degree and then on to law school because they'll pay for that too. I just finished my first semester with a 4.0 and I'm on day 1136 of my non-stop painting journey."
So if you're still looking around for your passion and feeling discouraged, rest assured that it might come your way when you least expect it.
And life is long, my friends.
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Don't disturb my beauty sleep! That's the one rule I have––and thankfully I live alone, so there isn't anyone to bother me, which is fabulous. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to getting woken up in the middle of the night. The worst way I can think of off the top of my head? The time a drunk guy wandered into my friend's yard and started banging on the window while I was trying to sleep. It was 3 a.m. The incident also gave me the fright of my life!
People told us about the experiences that yanked them out of dreamland after Redditor GratefulD_86 asked the online community,
"What is the worst way you've been woken up?"
"By raw sewage pouring through my ceiling (in my bedroom) from my upstairs neighbor.
He partied and ripped the toilet out of the floor, then continued using it. Took maintenance almost 16 hours to show up and turn off the flow."
"I literally didn't even know..."
"Cops beating on my door to search my house for someone I was hiding. I literally didn't even know the person."
Terrifying. This could have ended very badly.
"Cops busted down my door..."
"Cops busted down my door to take me to jail for having meth except. They had the wrong house."
"Neighbor decided to hang shelves in her bathroom after midnight and drilled into our shared wall. Scared the crap out of me."
The walls do indeed have ears.
"The phone woke me up..."
"The phone woke me up a little after midnight. I was informed that my mother had died. It was not totally unexpected. Her health had been declining.
I still dread hearing the phone ring late at night."
"A cockroach entering my mouth on my first day of camp."
"Police department knocking..."
"Police department knocking on my door at 2 a.m. saying the meth lab across the street might blow up so we needed to get out ASAP."
Is this a deleted episode of Breaking Bad?
"My cats were chasing each other..."
"My cats were chasing each other and one ran across my face while I was sleeping. The scratches were pretty bad all across one side of my face. It was the day before my senior prom too, so I ended up having a scratched-up face for that. I still have a scar right by my eye."
Cats are always at their most unpredictable very late at night!
"My Dad would keep a bag of marbles in the freezer. If you didn't wake up the first time, he dumped them into your bed."
"The neighbor in the building across from us..."
"Glass shattering. Lived in a 6 story apartment building. The neighbor in the building across from us was having some kind of psychotic break and was throwing everything he could get his hands on off his balcony. He was aiming for the windows of other apartments. We were far enough away to not get hit but watching that go down was not super fun."
We don't envy anyone of these people. Hopefully their lives have been filled with plenty of glorious, uninterrupted sleep since.
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love food! Maybe a little too much. It's been an especially amorous relationship over this pandemic. And I know I'm not alone.
All of our palettes are tuned to our own personal tastes. And sometimes certain items and combinations of tastes can leave others less than enticed.
I've lost track of all the side-eye I've gotten when I declare how much I enjoy PINEAPPLE on pizza. I said it. I meant it. Fight me. Let's discuss who else has eclectic tastes.
Redditor u/CatVideoFest wanted to discuss the mixing of certain ingredients that don't leave the best taste in one's mouth by asking:
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!Mom Smile GIFGiphy
"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzlebacon GIFGiphy
"I do not like bacon."
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
Blasphemy!golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
"Cheesecake is disgusting."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slimeman oyster GIFGiphy
"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...
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