Health Inspectors Share The Grossest Things They've Seen In Restaurants
Health Inspectors Share The Grossest Things They've Seen In Restaurants[rebelmouse-image 18350661 is_animated_gif=
If you've ever eaten at a restaurant, plan on eating at a restaurant or have ever even heard the word restaurant - this one's for you
Things are going to get gross, don't say we didn't warn you. We know you're stubborn and you're going to read ahead anyway. So prepare yourself, you're about to enter a world of roaches, bribery, dumpster diving, and at least one live bear.
No that was not a typo.
One Reddit user asked:
Health inspectors of Reddit, what are the most vile conditions you've ever seen in a restaurant?
And we clicked it, for some reason. We sat here for like three hours, you guys. We got sucked into the world of grossness. Now you're about to suffer with the things we can't unread. You ready to be well and truly baffled at what on earth is wrong with some people?
The Envelope[rebelmouse-image 18350662 is_animated_gif=
I was performing a pest control service on one restaurant that was shut down by the health inspector. 4 techs, spending 5 hours treating for German cockroaches. I have NEVER seen an infestation more severe than this one. When we were finished for the day, i would say that there were at least a few thousand cockroaches still running around. Health inspector collected an envelope from the owner, took down the violation on the door, got in his car and drove off. He didn't even reinspect the place.
Live Mice[rebelmouse-image 18350663 is_animated_gif=
Shut down a restaurant awhile back as there was a severe rodent infestation. I'm talking poop everywhere, in the utensil bins, on the food prep surfaces, just everywhere. Owners were brushing it aside as they worked. Live mice stuck to glue traps under sinks, etc.
Closed Down By A Can Opener[rebelmouse-image 18350664 is_animated_gif=
I've only ever closed down one restaurant. It's actually much harder in most places than you would imagine: lots of red tape that prevent field staff, and even managers, from using their professional judgment in the service of public health.
A pizza place was operating without a permit at one point in time. I had drafted a letter stating that, and before I went out to hand-deliver it, I got a complaint notification. Someone had eaten their pizza the day before, and their son had felt glass (or something that felt like pulverized glass) in his pizza. Backing up for a moment to the red tape thing: we're not legally allowed to investigate or inspect restaurants who don't have a permit (you can thank the U.S. Constitution for that). You can see the dilemma. We decide the best course of action is to deliver the letter saying they're operating illegally, and that it would be in the best interest of their business and the public health to allow us to investigate the nature of the complaint.
After I get permission to go in and take a look around, I'm appalled: the manager has fingernails that extend probably half an inch beyond the nail bed. And they're caked in flour and other ingredients. The other employee there has dirty bandages all over his fingers. Both of these characters are dressed in filthy uniforms. The walk-in cooler has loads of uncovered foods sitting beneath mold, all beneath a ceiling of black filamentous fungi. The pizza-prep table has broken doors/hinges, and is covered with what I can only describe as putrified ingredients from 2003. It clearly hasn't been cleaned since then. The plastic lexan containers holding the food items in the cooler are all breaking apart and chipping... At this point, I've got a few ideas as to what that guy found in his pizza, and I don't think any of them are glass. It's probably a fingernail, or a band-aid, or plastic, or maybe broken metal from the cooler itself...
Then I see it... The most disgusting can opener I've ever seen. To put it in perspective, mounted can openers are like the low hanging fruit of every health inspector: they're almost always out of compliance, and writing one up will make you look like a Try-Hard jerk who's out to get the restaurant owner in trouble. They're usually not a big deal. Except this one. This one is absolutely caked in dried, vile, pizza sauce goop that has turned black with age. The blade itself is so dull and chipped it is literally peeling metal filaments off into a mass next to the blade. Every time this thing is used to open a new pizza sauce (which, by the way, is put into a cracked plastic container and covered with a trashbag to keep the loads of flies away) it deposits metal chips, flakes, filaments, whatever you wanna call it, into that sauce, and into the bellies of the customers.
Needless to say, I was appalled. I had the person in charge call the store owner, who pleaded with me to let him stay open. Given that they didn't even have a permit to be open in the first place, this was a no-go. I went back the next day with back-up, and we formally closed them for operation until they could get everything back into working order. Surprise surprise, they call the next day saying everything is fixed, and... I can't believe it, but it was. Managerial lack of control aside, they must have spent a thousand dollars and 16 hours into cleaning this place. The one dude even clipped his fingernails!
Success story? Maybe. Gross example of what you get with second-rate poorly managed restaurants? Definitely. They're lucky no one has yet died from eating there.
That's Not Lemonade[rebelmouse-image 18350666 is_animated_gif=
Not a health inspector, but am good friends with one. This is her worst experience.
Once she went into a pretty popular restaurant (I think it was a burger place?) that she just got bad vibes from the beginning. Walked into the main seating area, everything was good so far. Asked where the kitchen was, owner was instantly defensive, like "oh, you don't need to see that, it looks the same as the dining area," and so forth.
She found the kitchen door, opened it and looked inside and instantly dropped everything she was holding.
/Hundreds/ of 2 litre cola bottles lined the kitchen, filled with urine.
She had no idea why and nobody could get an answer out of that dude
Sewage[rebelmouse-image 18350668 is_animated_gif=
One of the most recent restaurants I worked in already wasn't the cleanest - our fryers rarely got strained/emptied properly, it wasn't rare to see roaches crawling around, their bathrooms were always nasty, etc. When you get right down to it, it was one of the most disgusting kitchens that I have ever had the displeasure of working in, but what made me genuinely say "f*ck this" was when our plumbing and pipe work below the restaurant became clogged and then began backing up into the kitchen through the drains that we had along the flooring in there.
For more than a month my coworkers and I were sloshing around in sewage and human waste and whatever else, still serving food and pretending like nothing was going on. We could all hear patrons in the dining room complaining about the smell and the stench would hit you in the back parking lot before you'd even get inside. The owners kept making small "improvements", essentially lame band-aids to take care of it for only days at a time, and by the time I completely threw in the towel it still hadn't properly been fixed and they were still serving food from that deplorable, rank kitchen.
Once I quit and had amnesty from being fired for being a whistle blower, you can bet your ass I reported that restaurant to OSHA and they had health inspectors go through there. I reported them to my local health department as well. Unfortunately last I heard they're still open (figures), but I do know one or two of their other locations closed down for unrelated reasons, so....I guess that's something?
If I had been the owner of that restaurant, I would have not been able to live with myself knowing food was being served from that hellish kitchen or knowing that I was making my employees work under those conditions.
Moplata[rebelmouse-image 18350670 is_animated_gif=
There was a store in the area that got caught cleaning their Coolata machine with mop water... There were not details on if the mop water was clean or not (I assume it was), but there are issues regardless.
Cockroach Island[rebelmouse-image 18350671 is_animated_gif=
I used to work as a health inspector. Was inspecting a kitchen area undergoing some remodeling to include removal of a center island. No openings, essentially a box with a table top. This island had probably been in place 10-15 years. When the top was removed, it was half full of dead cockroaches that had layered on top of each other over the years. Happy dining!
Sniff The Gasket[rebelmouse-image 18350672 is_animated_gif=
I am both a former chef and a former private health inspector. I've seen some crazy stuff, but there is little worse than supermarket meat departments. I will not buy meat which has been ground in the market, because the employees almost never know how to tear down and clean the grinder. I would regularly go in, show them how to take it apart, and make them smell the "gasket" of old meat that had never been cleaned out from between the parts.
Close 'Em Down Kathy[rebelmouse-image 18350673 is_animated_gif=
My mother was a health inspector some years back. She was known as Close 'Em Down Kathy (not her real name, but you get the drift)
She went to a Chinese restaurant one day to pick up lunch, brought it back to her office, opened up the bag and found a live cockroach staring back at her. She immediately stormed back to the restaurant, shoved the bag in their face and said:
"I didn't order the cockroach."
She ordered an inspection on the restaurant, found out they kept their cooked chickens hung on a metal rack, in the alley, ABOVE THE DUMPSTER. They were shut down pretty quickly,
My mom's a badass.
NSFW ... or Anywhere Else.[rebelmouse-image 18350674 is_animated_gif=
Not a health inspector, but when I worked at a sub shop we caught a co-worker doing something inappropriate.
My manager had to look at the camera for some unrelated reason. He is skipping forward and accidentally goes to far forward. He notices a worker putting a bin of tuna on the floor. He keeps looking at the tape. The worker pulls his pants down and proceeds to enter the bin of tuna. He makes sweet sweet love to the tuna. Finishes up, goes into the bathroom to clean off. Proceeds to smooth out the bin of tuna, wraps it back up and puts it in the fridge. My manager immediately has me throw out the tuna and make more. Needless to say he was fired. And while this was 20 years ago I still can't eat tuna I didn't make or see made.
The Rotten Salad Bar[rebelmouse-image 18350676 is_animated_gif=
Was a tradesman working on a hotel where the new owner was renovating/updating the entire building, including their restaurant. Every single member of the kitchen staff got fired when the new owner discovered that the salad bar hadn't been cleaned/sterilized in months; they just kept adding more food on top of the old stuff.
Coffee Makes You Poop[rebelmouse-image 18350677 is_animated_gif=
There was a serial floor sh*tter at this coffee place. I'd get complaints in multiple times a week over the span of several months and the manager was aware that a customer came in like clockwork and shat in the middle of the bathroom floor. Not much I could do besides making sure the spot gets cleaned properly.
Hospital Restaurant Worms[rebelmouse-image 18350678 is_animated_gif=
A coworker had to investigate complaint called in by a food employee at a hospital saying they were forced to work in an ankle-deep sewage backup. The backup was confirmed and he said he could see the bodies of sewer worms slithering around.The restaurant/cafeteria of this hospital was serving food prepped in a kitchen full or worms and sewage to people who were already sick. People probably died.
There's Bleach In The Water[rebelmouse-image 18350679 is_animated_gif=
In a college campus cafeteria, I once saw a lady who was alternating between cleaning tables and serving the salads. She would go to a table, stick her gloved hands into a bowl of dark/filthy water, scrub a table -- then walk back to the salad bar, use the same gloved hands to grab a handful of salad, and put it on a plate for the students.
I gave her a stunned/horrified face, totally on reflex.
She saw me, and said -- and I quote -- "Oh it's fine, I'm wearing gloves and there's bleach in the water."
So to summarize, she thought that serving food with gloves that're covered in filth and bleach was safe, because she "was wearing gloves" and "using bleach."
I can't even.
Meaty Tomato Soup[rebelmouse-image 18349862 is_animated_gif=
OK so my dad was a health and hygiene officer in the air force back in the early 50s and was stationed in England. His job included inspecting kitchen and latrine facilities at bases, overseeing quarantine on troops returning home from Europe, and doing health inspections on said troops.
He and some fellow H&H officers were on leave in London and decided to have lunch at a pub that was advertising a soup and sandwich deal. They sit down to piping hot bowls of tomato soup and are talking and eating, when one of the guys says "Mmm good soup, nice and meaty."
Everyone stops talking as it sinks in that tomato soup should not have meat in it, and my dad reluctantly digs his spoon to the bottom of his bowl and comes up with several well cooked cockroaches. Being trained in such things, they stormed into the kitchen and confirmed that the place had their soup heating on a back burner uncovered and directly below a cold water pipe. The rising steam condenses on the pipe, makes it slippery and causes whatever scurry across it to fall into the soup. They yelled at the owner and reported the place, but beyond that they couldn't do much about the unexpected protein.
Two For One[rebelmouse-image 18350680 is_animated_gif=
The two inspections that I remember being horrible were both at low end Chinese places in strip malls. In one inspection, the wok chef had an overflowing ashtray right next to the meat bins. Rodent droppings, piles of dead flies behind the range, open doors to the outside, just nasty.
We also had to check soda machines and the hoses and guns. The soda gun line at one place was so caked with mold and funk it was a miracle that soda could even get through, we couldn't figure out how any previous inspector had missed that or what happened. The soda gun was the worst because it ruined eating out and having a mixed drink.
I'll never be able to drink anything out of a soda gun ever again.
Nope, Not Russia[rebelmouse-image 18350681 is_animated_gif=
My Mom used to be a health inspector. A bar had a bear chained outside and the owners would bring it inside to hangout with the patrons sometimes. Not Russia, but close - the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
The Mop Sink[rebelmouse-image 18350682 is_animated_gif=
Walked into a Mexican restaurant one time and saw some lady soaking some tripe in a mop sink. Saw that and told them to throw all of it in the dumpster and bleach it in front of me. My boss had seen a restaurant defrosting raw shrimp in a mop sink with the mop draped over the faucet. When I started as a health inspector, the trainers kept telling us:
_"Be on the lookout for mop sink chicken." _
We kept asking what it was- and they just replied:
_"you'll know when you see it..." _
They were right.
Dumpster Diving[rebelmouse-image 18350683 is_animated_gif=
Chinese restaurant was getting ready to open for lunch. I walked in and temperature checked the items in the walk-in cooler. All of them were well above acceptable temperatures; the cooler had broken down in the night and was no longer functioning.
They wanted to serve the food anyway. I had to embargo the entire cooler worth of food and stood there as they filled trash bag after trash bag with meat and took it to the dumpster. As I was leaving the location, I drove around to the back and they had employees pulling it all out of the trash and dragging it back into the building.
I had to stop them, make them return it to the dumpster and pour straight bleach all over the food to ensure it could not be used.
As the saying goes, you can't believe everything you read.
But every now and then, you might find yourself reading or hearing a piece of information that you at first think couldn't possibly be real.
Until you are presented with verified, reliable information to back it up... Then you have to eat your words and put your disbelief behind you.
Perhaps the most surprising instances of these are statistics, which at first glance you can't possibly believe are accurate and find yourself proven otherwise.
"What is a fact or statistic that seems fake but is real?"
And You Thought Sharks Were Dangerous...
"Horses kill more people every year in Australia than all the other beasties combined."
"Everyone thinks it's the spiders and snakes that'll get you, but it's the horses you've really got to watch."- Gingerbread_Cat·
The Dangers Of Scientific Advancement
"It took us more time to go from bronze swords to iron swords than it did for us to go from iron swords to nuclear weapons."- IMJUSTABRIK
Frightening People For Generations!
"Sharks have existed longer than trees have."- Capital_Indication_4Discovery Sharks GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
The Great Unknown
"I saw a scale model of the earth, moon and sun in a museum."
"The sun was about the size of a basketball, and the earth was on the opposite side of the room, the size of a small marble, I'd guess about 30 metres away."
"The moon was the size of a tiny pinhead, about 10cm away from the earth."
"On this scale, the nearest star to earth, Proxima Centauri, wouldn't be in the same building, or even in the same city."
"It would be 10,000km away."
"And that's just one star, the nearest one to us, in a galaxy containing billions of stars, which is just one of billions of galaxies."
"The scale of the universe really is mind bogglingly big."
"Far bigger than we can begin to comprehend."- Qabbalah
Zero Points To The Lost World For Authenticity...
"We live closer in time to Tyrannosaurus Rex than the T Rex did to the Stegosaurus."- reiveroftheborderstegosaurus GIFGiphy
From Bad To Worse?
"After the British made head protection mandatory in WW1, the amount of head wounds increased."
"It's due to they were no longer KIA, but 'only' a head wound."- WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
Sarah Palin Can Confirm...
"USA is only 2.4 miles from Russia."
"2 islands in the Bering Strait, the body of water in the Pacific Ocean that separates Alaska from Russia, are 2.4 miles from each other at the narrowest point; one island is owned by Russia, the other is owned by USA."- Qabbalah
But Where Did "Ginger" Come From?
"In English, the color orange was named after the fruit."
"Before that, orange was just considered a shade of red."
"That's why gingers are called redheads."- I_might_be_weaselredhead wink GIF by KobieGiphy
At Least We Can Be Sure He Didn't Lie About It
"George Washington didn’t know dinosaurs existed."- Silver34
But What Did They Want To Do With Those Cobras?
"New Delhi hired people to hunt cobra snakes which led to people having Cobra Farms to earn money, then the government stopped the project which led the Cobra Farmers to release their snakes, causing twice as many snakes than they first started."- cathabit
The Truth Lies Between The Lines...
"Barcode scanners scan the white lines, not the black ones."- the_blast_radiusScream Bar Code GIF by joelremygifGiphy
But Does It Make It Easier To Avoid?
"Wombat poo is cube shaped, to stop it rolling away."
Perception Can Be Dangerously Misleading
"The Oxford University in England existed centuries before the rise and fall of the Aztec civilization."- RefrigeratorStatus96
"Time Is The Longest Distance Between Two Places..."
"A million seconds is 12 days."
"A billion seconds is 31 years. "
"A trillion seconds is 31,688 years."
"People have a lot of trouble comprehending numbers that big."- sunbearimonLoop Time GIF by PsyklonGiphy
One thing that makes science so remarkable is how difficult it can be to believe.
And yet, scientists have been working since the beginning of time to prove that facts are, indeed, facts.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
People Share The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'You Can Have A Ph.D. And Still Be An Idiot'
Earning a college degree, especially a doctorate, takes a heck of a lot of work and definitely requires intelligence. Expertise in your usually narrow field of study definitely doesn't guarantee expertise in other areas — especially common sense, it seems.
Redditor SgtSkillcraft asked:
"Richard Feynman said, 'Never confuse education with intelligence, you can have a PhD and still be an idiot.' What are some real life examples of this?"
Too Much Ketchup
"My ex-boyfriends mother was a linguistics professor and knew over 10 languages. She was also one of the dumbest people I've ever met. Some examples: she believed that in case of emergency stewardesses catapult out of the plane; she was also convinced donating blood causes some blood disease and you can die because of it. But my favourite one was when she said her son's orthopaedic problems are not a result of a serious injury he had. His knee hurts because he eats too much ketchup."
"Man that ketchup is going straight to my knees. Ima need to sit for a minute."
You'd Think An Engineer Would Understand Physics
"I had a boss who was an engineer who put a couple hundred dollars in change in a bank’s pneumatic drive through tube where it got stuck and they had to use a jack hammer to get it out. He was upset that the bank was charging him for this because he didn’t know this would happen. They had large signs saying not to put change in the tubes, including on the tubes themselves."
Self-Powering Power Strip
"My first call at my first IT job was in a medical laboratory. There was a doctor who had been in the job for years and she called saying her computer would not power on. I walked her through some troubleshooting and nothing worked. "Is the computer plugged in? Ok, is the monitor on? Ok, when did the problem start?" type of questions were asked and she answered them all. I go up to her office and indeed the computer is plugged in to a power strip which is plugged in to itself. Cleaning crew had deep cleaned her office and never plugged anything back in. Dr. plugged the power strip into itself thinking that as long as it was plugged in, that's all she needed."
Liquid Displacement Isn't That Complicated, Is It?
"I was at a keg party at college and the (gravity keg) was set up. Someone complained that the beer was not flowing, so I check that the keg was still almost full. Turns out someone closed the air intake on top. I opened the intake and poured myself a beer. Problem solved. A few minutes later someone else complains the beer is out. I told them the keg was full a few minutes ago and it was a tap problem that I fixed. They told me they just came from the keg. I go back to the keg and find the intake was closed again. Opened it and poured the young lady who said it was empty a beer. As she is leaving my suitemate comes in and goes to the intake can closes it. Now my suitemate is a straight A student who gets all As mostly due to his photographic memory."
"Back to the keg. So I tell him that he needs to leave the intake open to let air in to displace the beer coming out of the lower tap. He then proceeds to tell me that since the beer is carbonated air is not needed to replace the liquid volumn lost when the beer is dispensed. So I asked him two questions; If it is not needed, why is there the upper tap, and does he really think the amount of gas the carbonation gives off in a glass of beer is equal to the volumn of the liquid beer? He thought for a few seconds and his only response was, "I have a 4.0, what is your GPA?" Then he walked away."
Med Students Aren't Immune To The Bystander Effect
"Not quite PhD. But I was at a party (in the uk) full of med students and stereotypically everyone was off their face drunk. Well some guy fell over and broke his collar bone and immediately got rushed by a dozen of them all fussing and asking him the same questions over and 'going through the checklist'. Half an hour later and he's still on the couch in pain and I go in to ask if anybody knows why the ambulance is taking so long. Nobody had an answer because nobody had called one. A party full of medical students hadn't called an ambulance or made any transport arrangements for a guy in severe pain with a broken clavicle. Idiots."
"That's actually super common in emergencies when there's a group of any kind. One of the first things you learn in a lifeguard certification course is to identify a single person to instruct to call 911. Never just yell out 'someone call 911' or assume that it's been done because everyone in the group is assuming someone else did it already."
"It's not necessarily that everyone forgot about it, just that everyone assumed it was the logical first step that someone else would have taken already."
He Just Hadn't Had His Coffee Yet
"I had a professor for higher mathematics who had real difficulties figuring out how to extract a cup of coffee from the vending machine. Bless him."
Laser Focused Intelligence
"My wife has two Masters and a PhD, is internationally recognized in her field, and is an absent minded doofus. My role in her life is to ensure that her car works, that she takes her meds, and that she eats things other than yogurt and eggs. She can be brilliant one minute, then walk into the side of a moving bus the next."
"I love her dearly but she's a numpty."
Dump Dinners Were Designed For This Person
"As someone who did two trades and then decided life is better with education - my experience currently going to Uni is how clueless so many people are in Uni. I wouldn’t say they’re an idiot, but tons of ignorance develops living in a student bubble your whole life."
"I rented a room to a guy who did his masters, and it would take him hourssss to cook dinner. I watched him one day, and he just couldn’t wrap his mind around cooking things that take different amounts of time to cook."
"Like, he’d start cooking potatoes and wait til they were done before moving on to the next thing he was going to eat them with."
Doctors Are Brilliant...and Not So Brilliant
"I work with medical doctors all the time for work. Doctors are some of the dumbest smart people I have ever met."
"Yup. I know a plastic surgeon who thought it was a great idea to sue Yelp for bad reviews his business was getting. This ensured that tons of news stories were written about him that repeated those bad reviews to a bigger audience."
"My friend's dad is a surgeon, I never forget when we were 13-14 and her mom called her to ask if she could go home and make something to eat for her dad because he was starving."
"That's when she told me that he had never ever made a meal himself for his entire life, he cannot even work the toaster, literally! So the guy was just starving at home because he cannot make a simple meal. And the next day he's fixing someone's heart."
"As someone who works security in a hospital, I can say a good 90% of the doctors there are smart but lack any type of common sense, and sometimes I wonder how they function on a day-to-day basis"
Doors Are Hard
"I used to work at a university, and tons of academics are incredibly educated in their chosen field, but have the common sense of your average dachshund."
"My favourite was probably an entire group of geology professors and PhD candidates who got 'stuck' for a good few minutes in an entryway because they didn't think to check if the door required a pull rather than a push. Bearing in mind that they'd just entered with that same door not an hour before."
Children Require Supervision At All Times
"My ex had a real lack of knowledge and common sense when it came to children."
"She's currently completing her PHD in biochemistry and molecular biology. She was confused though when I said I couldn't go out after putting my toddler to bed as I had no one to babysit. In her mind, once my daughter was asleep she no longer needed anyone here to take care of her."
"I chalked it up to cultural differences and never being around children. Eventually though our opinions on raising kids differed too much and I had to end things for my daughter's sake."
Just Read The Documentation
"Worked at a tech company, was made team lead. One of our team members was a PhD in astrophysics. He would ping me constantly for how to do things that we had well documented. How to install certain programs, how to gain access to servers or code repositories. Literally we would sit in zoom calls together and I would just read the instructions out loud and watch him do them. I was utterly confused as to how he could breathe by himself."
It's Not Supposed To Be A Soup
"A long time good friend, absolutely brilliant. Can literally beat you at chess blindfolded. Engineering in college and one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. But he’s a big picture guy, sees how things develop and great long term vision. Incredibly successful. But little things? Guy couldn’t pack a suitcase, wouldn’t know how to book a flight. Was making boxed Mac-n-cheese and couldn’t figure out why it was so watery. Ya, he didn’t drain the water after the pasta was cooked."
India Is Definitely Not A Continent
"Mother in law has a PhD in some thing related to botany. She thought India was a continental island like Australia. To this day I still have no idea how that happened when this came up she was in her mid 60's."
Computers Aren't That Hard To Understand
"If you work IT you feel this. Every lawyer, doctor, celebrity and CEO I've ever worked with is computer illiterate. They can email, they can Twitter and that's it. They confuse the mouse, they openly call themselves Luddites, they kick the power plug out and claim the 'box broke'. Mega-millionaires, too. Smart in other regards, but computers are kryptonite."
"not IT, but, I worked in tech support for Verizon fiber optic services a long time ago. they provided internet, TV, and phone services."
"my favorite call was a dude who couldn't receive calls, and this was a Big Deal™ because He Was A Doctor - that might've been something he repeated a few times. anywho, I walk him through basic troubleshooting as he's dramatically exhaling after every sentence because I should obviously just be sending a tech. I wasn't allowed to do that without going through the steps, though."
"everything in the house checked out, but, after an attempt to remotely reset the system to no avail, my last required step for the guy was reporting the state of some status lights in the terminal on the wall outside the house. I get the guy to pop the front panel, and I'm explaining that he needs to tell me which of these lights is on and off, and what one of the digital panels says. guy cuts me off to say, 'oh, hey, there's a bunch of phone and internet cables in here,' to which I reply, 'yes, there are, but, we don't need to pay attention to them at this time, we just need to know what the status of the system is.'"
"dude says, 'well, these don't seem to be plugged into the right ports. let me see if I can correct-' this was when I interjected with, 'sir, please don't mess with any of the wired connections, those are setup on installation and everything is already mapped to your home layout-'"
"that's when he cut me off with, 'I think I know what I'm doing - after all, I'm A Doctor.'"
"the line immediately went dead. obviously, I tried to call him back... but, his issue was that he couldn't receive phone calls, and we didn't have a cell phone number for him. shucks."
"I've often pictured the guy standing outside his home, realization of his mistake settling in, all while his brain starts to focus on the fact that he had to wait on hold for over fifty minutes to even speak with me. f**king glorious."
We can't all be smart in every area of life, but it's good to be able to acknowledge your weaker areas as well as your strengths.
People Break Down The Greatest Villain Performances In Film Or TV History
When it comes to TV and movies, acting is everything. A good actor can make a bad TV show good, while a bad actor can do the opposite.
While the main character is the person viewers focus on for the most part, the villain may be the most important character.
Without the villain, our main character wouldn't be interesting.
The actor or actress who plays the villain needs to be top-notch. A great example of this is Imelda Staunton, who played Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1.
Umbridge was a truly despicable character, made more evil by the fact that she posed as someone working for the greater good and held a position of authority over all the heroic characters. Staunton did a great job portraying her exactly as the books described, and made viewers hate her just as much as we hated her in the books.
As the main villain in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, a poor performance would've destroyed the movie. Instead, this is often the movie fans like the best.
Redditors know the importance of a good villainous performance and are eager to share their opinions on the best in TV and movie history.
It all started when Redditor Helloimafanoffiction asked:
"What’s the greatest villain performance in a movie/TV show?"
Worst Teacher Ever?
"J.K. Simmons is up there for his role in Whiplash. Hated his guts there."
"I just watched that movie for the first time a couple days ago, I too hated him! Who throws a chair at a student??? Who embarrasses a student in front of a whole audience just for revenge and then have the audacity to say "I will gouge your f*cking eyes out"???? Hated him."
"Thank you for getting that he was a villain. Too many of my friends see his speech at the end about finding/creating a good musician as profound enough to justify everything he did throughout the movie. And they see the “reconciliation” at the end as a sign that he was a good teacher after all. Maybe I’m off base, but that wasn’t what I saw at all. I saw a power hungry, obsessed, abusive adult take advantage of a passionate boy."
Origin Stories Matter
"Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister."
"His introduction where he lectures Jaime while skinning a deer is perfection."
"Yes. His acting was far more intricate and nuanced than any other villian on the show. He seemed like a real villian, not just a character being played. Too often hollywood goes overboard on the evilness of their characters and makes them evil for the sake of being evil. Give me backstory. Tell me how they become who they are."
"Homelander in The Boys. I forgot the actor's name but the performance is actually kind of terrifying"
"Yeahhhhhh he is so very very very scary. Absolutely amazing performance."
"Every scene he's in I'm always worried that whoever he is interacting with won't survive the scene, especially if they're not a main character."
"Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa in Inglorious Basterds"
"That opening scene is just....... 👌"
"Tarantino grew so frustrated at casting that role, he was five days away from calling off the movie when Waltz auditioned."
""I told my producers I might have written a part that was un-playable,” Tarantino said. “I said, I don’t want to make this movie if I can’t find the perfect Landa, I’d rather just publish the script than make a movie where this character would be less than he was on the page. When Christoph came in and read the next day, he gave me my movie back.""
The Curl Of The Lip
"Any and every villain Alan Rickman played, the man was a pure genius"
"Rickman's villain roles are always captivating. Hans Gruber and the Sheriff of Nottingham being the two more notorious examples."
"Sheriff of Nottingham is my pick. Maybe not as high as others in the evil stakes but nobody curls their lip in disdain like Rickman."
"Child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang .. this one performance might have stopped many rl kidnappings."
"Was the first film character that truly terrified me"
"Yeah nightmare fuel for sure, he was a ballet dancer in real life."
Is There A Right Answer?
"Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh."
"To this day, I still wonder what the right answer to "Do you see me?" is."
So Very Hateable
"Commodus in Gladiator"
"One of the first movie characters I actually hated. And that one a**hole from The Green Mile."
Why So Serious?
"The Joker by Heath Ledger"
"I think it’s too easy of an answer so people are going with other stuff. He is the GOAT for that performance."
"Absolutely this one. Crazy, maniacal, insane, unhinged - he’s just so damn convincing. 100% my favorite Batman film."
"David Tennant in Jessica Jones."
"I absolutely adore David Tennant, in a Doctor Who—obsessed kind of way. And Kilgrave terrifies me to my core. It was really difficult to reconcile. He did such a good job being positively chilling."
"The man has range."
"Man he felt straight up menacing and nothing redeemable about him."
"I’ve never wanted to step into the screen and kill the bad guy more than this character."
"Really enjoyed Andrew Scott’s portrayal as Moriarty in Sherlock."
"Of course people are going to die, because that's what people DO!!!!"
"He was such an enjoyable unhinged maniac in that show."
The Ultimate Anti-Hero
"Probably the most complex and realistic evil character both in writing and performance. So complex that you honestly might not call him a villain at all. He's something like a good person who does evil things with good intentions and evil reasons. And Bryan Cranston's portrayal of him is awesome."
"Azula in Avatar the Last Airbender"
"The scene where she and Zuko fight is so amazing. You see her unhinge and slowly lose her sh*t up to that scene. She finally goes crazy and it’s brilliant."
"Grey Griffin was the best voice actor for the role. Intimidating but cool."
Azula was always my favorite villain!
Who would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Sometimes the most outlandish ideas sound totally plausible.
In this day and age when 'Saturday Night Live' and 'The Onion' sound like credible news sources, anything is possible.
It feels like a lot of humans will believe literally anything.
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
InfectionSick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy
"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Weather IssuesClimate Change Earth GIFGiphy
"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's AllMeryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
They're Listeninggovernment agent GIF by South Park Giphy
"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.