Frozen is perhaps the ultimate Disney movie.
Ubiquitous, inescapable, a franchise that just keeps going and going and going and just when you think you might finally, at long last, be free of it, here comes a record-breaking sequel and a Broadway version to ensure that you will never, ever escape its upbeat, wintry grasp.
Clearly, Frozen has cast a spell on the world.
So it should probably come as no surprise that a family is dealing with the logical next step: a haunted doll in the image of the franchise's main character, Elsa, which *cue ominous music* keeps reappearing in their home no matter how many times they throw it in the garbage.
This bone-chilling tale comes to us from the Madonia family of Houston, Texas.
The doll, which recites phrases from the movie and sings the famous song we all wish would take its own advice, "Let It Go," was given by the Madonias to their daughter for Christmas back in 2013.
And then in 2015, things started getting weird.
As mother Emily Madonia told Houston's NBC affiliate KPRC:
"For two years it did that in English. In 2015, it started doing it alternating between Spanish and English."
Now we know what you're thinking:
"Big deal! It's a bilingual doll!"
Sure, sure, fine.
EXCEPT ACCORDING TO MRS. MADONIA NO IT'S NOT.
"There wasn't a button that changed these, it was just random."
LOL this is some Exorcist sh*t, right?
Well, there's more.
After a few more years–despite the Madonias never having changed Elsa's batteries–she began talking and singing of her own volition.
Finally, having tired of this menacing doll in 2019, the Madonias threw Elsa in the trash where she belongs.
Weeks later, she turned up inside a bench in their living room. So Mr. Madonia double-bagged her, buried her in the bottom of the trash this time, and threw her out again, just before the family went on a trip.
When they returned, the doll was in their front yard.
"Perhaps someone bought a new Elsa and placed it in the yard as a harmless prank," you say, trying to convince yourself you're not reading about an American family being taunted by one of the hounds of hell.
As Mrs. Madonia told KPRC:
"The doll has some marker on her from my daughter coloring over the years, so I know the doll that reappeared was the original and not a replacement. ... Most logical thinkers believe it's a prank, but I don't understand how or when it was done..."
As a last-ditch effort, the Madonias decided to mail the doll–sans return address–to a family friend in Minnesota, Chris Hogan, and to the relief of everyone everywhere, she has finally, at long last, remained there–on the grill of his Jeep.
Firmly affixed to the brush guard on my Jeep with about a quarter mile of Gorilla tape. https://t.co/IRe8eMMnQM— Chris Hogan (@Chris Hogan)1579030148.0
Phew! But the Madonias aren't letting down their guard just yet.
As Mrs. Madonia put it in a since-deleted Facebook post:
"Either the doll is haunted or some crazy psychopath has dug the doll out of the garbage (that was already taken away) and broken into my house/property multiple times. I am going to go with the haunted thing."
Naturally, this story about the doll that simply can't "Let It Go" (see what I did there...) had people like, UM EXCUSE ME WTF.
@TMZ @TooFab If I had that doll at my home...fucc that I'm scared! 😮🤭 lol! #goAwayEvilSpirits 😂 https://t.co/Z2GsMdBXKs— 🦋 Basic Alisha 👑🦋 (@🦋 Basic Alisha 👑🦋)1579094967.0
@TMZ @TooFab Possessed. Get the salt and iron and bury that doll somewhere.— nancy.gahan58@gmail (@nancy.gahan58@gmail)1579071348.0
@TMZ @TooFab Dude I started to feel nauseous. That doll is haunted.— Gabriela (@Gabriela)1579106382.0
Y'all pray for us! Our daughter has the haunted elsa doll! https://t.co/ZFVgCSrJZ3— Brooke Ballos (@Brooke Ballos)1579121405.0
@ksatnews Seriously! Just burn it case closed— Brenda (@Brenda)1579124279.0
@ksatnews https://t.co/Gxhq7UENUS— Hey, It's John Wayne (@Hey, It's John Wayne)1579110474.0
NOPE https://t.co/9zg6disLEh— Steph Haberman (@Steph Haberman)1579026069.0
@lovebscott Burn that ho.— Mr. Scott (@Mr. Scott)1579049676.0
@lovebscott https://t.co/LaptopXuW9— Birthday Bunny 🎂 28 (@Birthday Bunny 🎂 28)1579050839.0
@lovebscott Call on the name of Jesus!!! https://t.co/PQlm1mfVfc— ✞ Ⓔⓥⓞⓝⓓⓐ🕊 (@✞ Ⓔⓥⓞⓝⓓⓐ🕊)1579066319.0
Of course, there's a perfectly logical explanation for this.
"Adele Dazeem"—the name John Travolta mistakenly called "Let It Go" singer Idina Menzel while introducing her at the 2014 Oscars—is actually an ancient spell that unleashes the demons of hell and allows them to inhabit a doll... UNTIL IT KILLS.
Someone tell that Jeep dude in Minnesota!