"This is a maaaaaan's world!" **in my very best James Brown voice**
But that doesn't necessarily mean they're all out here having the time of their life. Reddit user "Kyoto_j" asked:
"Guys of reddit, whats one thing you hate about being a dude?"
So we're about to be very honest here and admit that I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Yeah, we're about to talk about penises (a lot) but there's a lot more going on than just "locker room" jokes.
We'll totally start there, though...
Problematic Peeing
peeing feels so good GIFGiphy"Split stream when I pee." - Bantabury97
"A few mornings back I finally did it, guys. The legendary triple stream is real. Rejoice." - theyfoundmeomg
"And the little dribble at the end I can't begin to count how many times I thought I was safe and then had to wash my pants" - FlowerGlock
Traumatic Erections
Awkward Ed Helms GIF by The OfficeGiphy"When I was in middle school having to deal with spontaneous erections was so embarrassing to the point of being traumatic."
"Girls have periods, and we can never compete with that level of inconvenience, but these members of ours ain't a walk in the park." - lastusernameiswearr
"I'm 34 and it still happens from time to time. Mostly when I'm tired and bored, which usually happens at meetings and courses for work, similar environments to a schoolroom. Going to the bathroom to crank one out, and chugging down some caffeine usually helps." - Hawk_Thor
Sensitive
Tobey Maguire Reaction GIFGiphy"I'm very, very emotionally sensitive and people laugh at me for it."
"Just the other day I made a post in a Facebook group reviewing a restaurant I had a great experience in, and all these strange men and women made fun of me. I wish I could blow it off but it hurt my feelings so bad, and I can't just move on and shake it off."
"I wanted to either write every mean person who wrote, and tell them how much they hurt my feelings, or hurt them myself. I still even get caught up thinking for hours sometimes about my bullies in primary school. I'm 31."
"Men can't talk to anyone." - Yusi-D-Jordan
Bad Intentions
Rainn Wilson Running GIF by CootiesGiphy"I'm always worried if people think I'm being a creep or a perv or something. A lot of messed up sh*t happens in the world and I don't blame anyone, but I hate being self-conscious about it." - Hidden_Squid14
"Yep, I would never dream of harming a kid and I keep friendly around them, but I fear that people will think ill of my intentions when I'm just being nice to the kid who decided to say hi to me" - Furydragonstormer
"When my kids were little I had the cops called on me (twice) for being at a playground with my kids during the day."
"They said the women thought I had kidnapped them or something like that. My sons look a lot like me (poor boys)." - Reloaded9mm
"Yes, this is a big one for me. I pretty much always ignore kids unless I'm forced to acknowledge their presence."
"When I was younger, there was a friend of mine who had an adorable daughter who was 3 or 4 and for some insane reason she loved me to pieces. I didn't do anything to deserve her affection, but she almost always came over to me and just smiled and hung around me."
"I wasn't very comfortable around kids, and I'm still not, but after a while I started to get used to her and actually liked playing with her and talking to her. It was entirely innocent, and not anything I sought out. But it turns out her family thought she hung around me all the time because I did something inappropriate to her, or something."
"I think they were mostly just questioning my motives for playing with her and talking to her."
"They once asked me if I gave her candy and whenever she came over to me someone would stand there awkwardly, watching me out of the corner of their eye. In a way I don't blame them. I'm a pretty big guy, and it might be hard to believe I would never hurt anything or anyone."
"But finding out that people thought I was creepy because an adorable little girl wanted to be my friend, which I honestly had no control over was a major hit to my self esteem." - Im_Just_Cake
Fatherhood Is Fabulous
Fathers Day Dad GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy"I'm a stay at home dad. I don't know how to put it simply, or what the right term is, but I have been semi-frequently harassed, berated, and otherwise made to look foolish or feel ashamed because I'm a man who loves his babies."
"Out at the park with my son? 'Poor guy has to be with his kids while the missus is at home. She must have him whipped.' "
"At the grocery store with the baby? 'Oh you're so sweet doing this for your wife.' "
"At the doctor doing checkups/shots? I'll have to deal with random people saying I either don't know what I'm talking about, that I just think my son is special, that I cant be trusted to give info on their health because I'm not their mom, and that I 'need to tell my wife...' "
"Those aren't bad, it's just obnoxious."
"The part that really sucks is that my friends make fun of me for it, or when an argument happen they throw it in my face that I don't have a job and therefore am not a real man."
"Just the status quo that a man must work to death and a woman is the only one fit to stay home grinds my gears."
"I know how to change a diaper. Yes, I'm happy. Yes, it was MY choice to stay home."
"No, I don't mind not getting to f*ck off with my friends all the time. Yes, I know how to deal with children's medical issues."
"And no, I wouldn't trade it for the world." - D3athraxys
Size Matters
twin peaks head shake GIF by Twin Peaks on ShowtimeGiphy"I'm 6'3" and I have a problem with feeling imposing even though I'm just trying to exist."
"I'm very awkward because of it, because I not only watch every word that comes out of my mouth, but I'm also very aware of how tall I am & that some people, usually women, might be more guarded towards me if they don't know me."
"The biggest issue is where I work."
"I work in retail and there's a lot of underage 17 year old kids working there. I usually don't talk with them for too long because I'm afraid I'll seem creepy to them, or to people who might be pricking up their ears to make sure I'm not trying to make a move on them or something like that."
"And I hope I don't come across like my problems are bigger than other people's. But these are definitely problems I face on a day to day basis." - Im_Just_A_Cake
The Most Unexplained Events In History | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
History is littered with unsolved mysteries. Whether those answers are buried somewhere or lost forever, it doesn't stop people from wondering or hypothesizi..."One of my best friends has talked to me about this issue. He is a big guy (6'5") with a beard. He definitely has a presence."
"Even though he is amazing with kids he avoids them because he tries so hard to avoid a sense of impropriety. It's very sad to me that he misses out on the joy kids can bring because of societal expectations and biases."
"Similarly if a woman is walking alone at night he will go out of his way to walk on the other side of the street or farther away from her so she doesn't feel threatened."
"These discussions with him gave me a lot of perspective. As a woman I have not really worried about my presence being intimidating or threatening to others, so hearing how hard he tries to make others comfortable made me kind of sad." - deej394
"Came here to post this. I'm 6'4 250lbs and tend to walk to the gym at night in the city."
"The shortest route is a side street which is basically an alley at some parts. I tend to walk somewhat quickly and I always somehow end up behind a younger woman."
"Undoubtedly I scare them as I try to walk quickly past to avoid being any more looming as a dangerous person as I might look. I always feel guilty like I'm doing something wrong when I'm just trying to walk. I didn't ask to be this big haha" - Rybobo
Pumpkin Abduction
Tired Good Night GIFGiphy"I live in Rhode Island. At our zoo we have a pumpkin festival in October. The tickets are expensive but it's fun and they have pumpkin beer."
"Anyway I bought two tickets for me and a friend to go. That day he was sick and canceled. I ended up taking my nearly two-year-old daughter."
"We had a good time. When I was going home I realized that it was nearly 8:00 pm and we hadn't eaten dinner, so we stopped into a local restaurant."
"My daughter was well behaved. We ate dinner and left. She was a little testy as we got to the car but nothing unusual in any way."
"We go home and my daughter goes to sleep."
"About a half an hour later, a cop shows up. He said someone from the restaurant called the police thinking I abducted her."
"They said she seemed 'too quiet' when we were eating. It was 8:30 when we ate and her bedtime is normally 8:00 so yeah she was probably a little sedate."
"But seriously!?"
"Anyway, we wake up our daughter and she's clearly in no danger. The cop apologized and left. To be fair to the cop, I think he thought the whole thing was ridiculous from the start but had to do his job."
"But this would have NEVER would have happened if my wife would have brought my daughter and not me! I was basically accused of being a child trafficker because my daughter was a little sleepy." - Geri-psychiatrist-RI
Compliments, Please
olivia culpo adam GIFGiphy"Never received a compliment in my life expect the time a girl told me she liked my boots in 8th grade."
"Thanks Maddie I appreciate it still" - Aviator122
"I sometimes hate how much I crave compliments." - tpaolicchi
"I'm 38 and the last time someone complimented on my looks or appearance was when I was 30 at my old job when a woman said my glasses and hat combo really suited me." - Fkyourslipper
"It's super rare, for sure."
"A woman at the bus stop once told me my sweater looked nice and I instinctually asked 'Excuse me?' thinking I misheard, 'cause there's no way a woman just complimented me...'cause that never happens."
"It was super nice, made my day. Ladies: compliment men too, please." - putinmy@ss
Support Systems?
Jimmy Fallon No GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"There's no support for men. Try to file for food stamps as a single man, or see how the courts treat you if you get a divorce, or talk about needing therapy."
"You get the same advice every time: 'go work out, throw yourself into your work, get a hobby.' "
"One of the most destructive, most infuriating thing people can say is, 'Man Up.' "
"Well, I'm not a stoic piece of driftwood, I'm human. I have feelings and basic needs just like anyone else - and its literally deadly to hold that sh*t in."
"Yeah, our fathers and their fathers held their feelings in, but they also dropped dead in their 40s and 50s of massive heart attacks." - GhostOnToast
Creepy At A Kid's Movie
Bill Hader Popcorn GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Per my dad who loves animation:"
"Now that my kids are grown, I have to wait a few weeks when a movie comes out so I can see it and not be the creepy solo older man at a kids movie." - M0ck_duck
"I went to see 'The Secret of Nimh' a few years ago back when the Alamo Drafthouse would show kids movies on Saturday mornings."
"I bought a soda, some popcorn and settled in."
"About 30 minutes in I realized an employee was standing directly behind me (I was in the back row.) He didn't move until the movie was over." - cbpantskiller
Responsibility
Tired Tv Land GIF by TV Land ClassicGiphy"Kind of a love/hate thing, but being responsible - for the wife, the kids, the house, cars, everything."
"At the end of the day, when something goes wrong or everyone is scared, everyone looks down the table to me and says 'What are we gonna do?' "
"Goes with the role of being the 'man of the house,' but it does wear me out." - Opposite-Algae8912
No One Told My Heart
Sad Sterling K Brown GIF by This Is UsGiphy"For me, it was when my wife and I lost 4 children during late term pregnancy in just 5 years. It was loss after loss after loss."
"Everyone always asked me how my wife was doing and told me how sorry they felt for her. Not once did anyone ask or care about how I was doing."
"I put my wife first always, but it would have been nice for someone to care about how I was doing. I felt like nobody did; even my mother said guys don't get attached till the child is born."
"I guess no one told my heart that rule." - Successful_Panic7184
Thanks, Homer
Homer Simpson Reaction GIFGiphy"Dumb Husband Syndrome."
"Thanks to Homer Simpson, Phil Dunphy, Al Bundy, etc., the entire world seems to believe that your standard husband is too stupid to accomplish even the most mundane task on his own."
"I've seen a lot of guys (myself included) just going about their business and people feel compelled to step in and correct them or tell them how to do something." - SeaTie
Now that you've read what Reddit has to say, what are your thoughts on some of the tougher aspects of being a man?
- People Explain What They Hate Most About The World Today - George Takei ›
- People Break Down What People Did That Inspired Immediate Hatred - George Takei ›
- People Confess What They Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life - George Takei ›
- People Confess Which Things They Hate About Their Partner But Can't Tell Them - George Takei ›
- People Break Down What Absolutely Deserves All The Hate It Gets - George Takei ›
Sex is natural, sex is fun.
So sayeth the great George Micahel.
Spontaneous lovemaking leaves a lasting impression.
Or at least a great ten minutes.
Redditor hockeysmyh*e wanted to hear about all the times sex came as a surprise, so they asked:
"What is the most unexpected time you’ve ever had sex?"
One day in college... all it took...
Me on one escalator.
Him on another.
One wink.
Nerves
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"After what I thought was a horrible 1st date. She was on her phone literally the entire time. When we get to her house she says 'Wanna come inside?' Turns out, she was just nervous on the date."
earic23
Questions Answered
"I was a very young-looking 22-year-old volunteering at a film festival as community service for a reckless driving ticket."
"One of the filmmakers visiting from another country who was around 30 started talking to me and she kept asking me weird questions like what year I graduated high school and whether I liked certain 15-year-old music."
"I was like this chick is weird, but then she said do you live around here, we went back to my apt and ended up having sex. Afterward, I was like - why did you ask me all those weird questions? And she said, 'I was trying to figure out if you were old enough!'"
"We ended up hanging out the whole week and then she went back home and that was it. Good times."
kaspm
And Nothing Else...
"I was at a hotel in college with a bunch of other college kids and a bunch of us were in one room drinking. I had to go to the bathroom but someone was using the one where we were. I said I was going back to my room to use that one and also to get some more beer. A girl in the group asked if she could come with me. When I came out of the bathroom she was wearing one of my t-shirts. And nothing else. I did not go back to the party room with more beer."
Amesb34r
Right Then and There...
"I got late-night sushi with a friend. She treated me since I was going through a nasty breakup. After a few sakes, we began to head out. She grabbed me by the sleeve and pulled me into the bathroom. She began hard-core kissing me and we ended up having sex right then and there."
topherthepest
Gor For It
like a virgin madonna GIFGiphy"Gondola lift going up a mountain in Switzerland. My wife and we’re backpacking for 21 days around Europe and unexpectedly found ourselves alone on the gondola. We just looked at each other, smiled, and went for it. Fantastic experience."
CBus-Eagle
That gondola must have had might strong cables!
New bucket list item.
Burn Off
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Against the side of my boyfriend’s house while his family ate dinner inside."
"He wanted to take me up to his room, his parents said no, so he said we were going for a walk instead. Burn off some energy. It was surprisingly great."
whitneywestmoreland
'Ayyyy'
"For the record, I'm the most oblivious person ever. But a friend of mine invited me to attend her yoga class with her. I didn't think about it at the time but she was giving me a lot of hands-on attention and help. We went back to her place afterward and walked and talked on a Greenway near her house."
"She said something along the lines of 'I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one' and I said some s**t about not believing in myself and she told me she was 'trying to get f**ked tonight.'"
"I didn't realize she meant by me but as a joke, I said 'Ayyyy' like I was Fonzy or something and put my arm around her. The next thing I know she's putting her tongue in my mouth, I realized that I'm brain dead, and things progressed from there."
slaughterpuss25
Pillow Fight
"I went over to a friend's house. She and I had been friends since elementary school and never took it further than that because we had no interest in it. Anywho, we were watching TV in the living room having a fun debate back and forth and she threw a pillow at me so I threw it back at her and it started a pillow fight, she grabbed me and tried to take the pillow from me."
"We were not extremely close to each other and we noticed it and looked at each other...i t then turned into sex in the living room, leading into her bedroom. Afterward, we laid in bed and talked for a while and then it continued for several years. Now we’re married with two kids."
Metalblacksheep
NOW!!
"When my wife and I were dating, she drove a friend out of town to see her husband, who was just completing boot camp, and I tagged along for the weekend. We spent that 1st night in the same room, with us in one bed and the friend in the other. I wasn't expecting anything, seeing as how we had someone 'THISCLOSE' to us, but after we thought the friend fell asleep, my wife started kissing and groping me."
"She said she wanted it, but I resisted. After a couple more minutes, she finally just flat-out said 'Do Me. Now.' It was the most unexpected, slowest, quietest, and hottest sex ever. The next day, the friend made a comment that she couldn't sleep because we were moving around too much. She knew."
cb0044
The Crush
Alicia Silverstone Flirting GIFGiphy"In the car with a co-worker who was driving me home. I admitted to another co-worker that I had an extreme crush on this girl. What I didn't know was that she immediately told her about my crush."
"So when she offered to drive me home (I always walked, it was only a couple of miles) I thought she was just being nice and taking me home... lol."
Real_Bug
Clearly we all need to be reading the signs and signals.
We miss out on so much.
Infatuation is a curious thing.
One moment, you can be swept up in major adoration for someone to such a degree that you can't stop thinking about them.
But the next moment, you may suddenly find yourself moving on.
What is it that drives someone to lose their lust for their former object of affection?
Curious to hear from strangers who experienced going from hot to cold in casual dating, Redditor Romeothanh asked:
"Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it??"
Questionable behaviors were seen as major turn-offs.
Poor Parenting
"The way she treated her children, her boy was permitted everything and her daughter had to follow very strict rules."
"I didn't have to ask to know what was going on, the boy's real father wasn't her ex-husband but a guy she had an affair with at work, her daughter was really from her ex-husband. She was always resentful of her upbringing and then her marriage for impeding some kind of dreamed life she thought she was entitled to. So the boy was seen as a piece of that dream and the girl was a piece of her boring life but she was also reliving her childhood through her and pushing her to excel in sports, school and manners and reveling in her daughter's accomplishments as if they were hers."
– Telesto1087
Past Grievances
"She accused me of cheating on her in a past life."
"I told her 'I don’t remember that.'”
– Breloren
"Sounds like something someone who cheated in a past life would say!"
– thefirecrest
At Least She Washes Her Hands...
"She spat in her hands and rubbed them together because she 'needed to wash them.' I cannot describe the colossal speed at which that switch turned off."
– whitesebastian
"Was she some sort of 1930’s farm hand or construction worker?"
– valueduser
There were some serious red flags.
Schadenfreude
"A elderly gentlemen fell in front of us, he took a nasty fall."
"She found it hilarious, instead of helping she just stood there laughing. I helped that person out and I felt so embarrassed for her behavior."
"Also that was the last time I saw her. It was a major turn off for me."
– oxide-NL
Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy
"I invited the girl from my psych course I'd been vibing with to a party. Her car rolled up and I came out to greet her, but it was a dude's car, and she was drunkenly making out with him as I walked up. I didn't flip out or anything, but she slurred her way through some weird attempt at reassuring me that I shouldn't worry, 'cause she was only sleeping with him to punish him because he was a bad guy (apparently that's a thing she does), and that I was a good guy. I didn't ask what happened to good guys. I felt bad for her date, whom she completely ignored the rest of the night. As for the girl, she ended up totally engrossed with the party host's gerbil, tapping on the glass of its cage whispering how she wanted to kill it. I found somewhere new to sit in psych class for the rest of the semester."
– MissionofQorma
I'm Generous And You're Gonna Like It
"She kept buying me stuff. It was nice at first but she kept doing it weekly and demanded I give gifts in return. I asked her to stop and she said "nope this is what I do." Felt like she didn't even care about what I wanted."
– Dry-Enthusiasm3515
Easiest Breakup Ever
"It was a really horrible relationship even this aside but my 'wow i think i actually hate this person' moment was when we were at Badlands National Park. We were just walking out of the gift shop with some other woman when she just let go of the door and it like slammed into that womans face. I said to her 'omg im so sorry' then when we got to the car i said to my gf in like a joking tone 'i cant beliehe you didnt hold the door for her haha' and because she was a very very miserable person all the time this makes her mad and she goes 'well YOURE the man youre supposed to hold the door. I dont NEED to hold the door for anybody' and yeah that one statement alone was very... eye opening for me."
"Seriously the easiest least heartbreaking break up ive ever gone through."
– ILoveTikkaMasala
The Cat Recognized Evil
"My cat didn't like her."
"Brought her home to introduce her to my parents, she meets my childhood cat and. It. Goes. Psychotic. Just for her reaching down to pat him, he panicked, attached himself to her arm, and wouldn't let go, just clawing at her like he found a demon to fight or something. When he eventually detached himself (they were both running around the room screaming as she tried to wave him off her arm) I checked her over and he did some damage. He's never reacted like that to anyone before or since. We broke it off shortly later."
"I found out a few years ago she was in the court system. Why? She tried to kill her own kid. I didn't dodge a bullet because of my cat, I dodged an artillery shell."
– GryphonicOwl
It's not me, it's you.
So Rude
"She didn’t hold the door open to people just meeting her at the door, would let it slam on people behind her, didn’t do the little thank you wave to other cars that let her out, didn’t say please and thank you to serving staff. She wasn’t overtly rude, she just had a bit of a me,me,me vibe."
– Hellenicparadise
Norwegian Love
"She told me she was pregnant and it was mine, 2 days after sleeping with me for the first (and only) time. Then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend."
"I should have twigged earlier really. She flew from Norway to sleep with me and flew back the next day."
– Perseus73
Face Reveal
"I’d been talking to this girl in class I thought was really cool. We ended up going for a bite after class one day and she suggested we go hang out in my dorm room. Hell yeah."
"Then she took off her glasses and she looked exactly like my mom. It was so jarring I excused myself to the bathroom to regroup, but when I came back I couldn’t unsee my mom’s face on her."
"I made some lame excuse and went back alone. I felt bad about bailing on her but I also how the hell would I tell her the real reason? Either she thinks I’m a weirdo or thinks I’m saying she looks like she’s in her fifties."
– OneSmoothCactus
Don't Speak
"My mate ghosted a girl simply because he didn't like her cadence when she spoke."
– Random-chick-98
My shallowest moment was years ago when I ghosted a hot tennis player I was dating because he had a particularly annoying gait.
Anytime we would walk around the city (in New York), he would gradually lean into me and prevent us from walking a straight path.
I thought he was deliberately trying to get close but it turned out that one of his legs was shorter than the other resulting in him taking uneven steps.
When he explained his situation, it weirded me out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him why I could no longer see him, so I just stopped responding to his incessant messages about when we were meeting next.
I remain regretful to this day about my immature behavior, and I wish him the best wherever he is.