JK Rowling has done so well at creating the world that Harry Potter inhabits that we now have an understanding that allows (dangerously) for speculation. And fans love to speculate.
u/eL7Square asked Reddit:
What are some R-rated things that probably happen in the world of Harry Potter that the story doesn't address?
Here were some of the R-rated answers.
The Charm-a SutraGiphy
You know some witch or wizard has written a book of erotic bedroom spells.
The Cost Of LoveGiphy
The implications around love potions and spells are disturbing to think about. Even the books touch on it a little bit with Voldemort's parents.
And yet they're openly and legally sold to teenagers.
In fact, I cannot think of a single "good" use for a love potion.
Rowling did not think this through. The Imperious curse that removes free will is "Unforgivable", but the potion that forces you to love someone you normally wouldn't is A-Ok?
Luck Of The CauldronGiphy
I guarantee there is at least one person out there who is addicted to Felix Felicis (the luck potion from Half-Blood Prince). I mean, if it can get you a "perfect day", don't you think there is someone out there who brews that stuff on bulk, or even a company that just sells that, and uses it every day to try and have a perfect life? Maybe there's a rehab center or a "Feliciholics Anonymous" for people who are Felix Felicis addicts trying to quit (similar to actual drugs in the muggle world).
Someone probably at one point stuck their wand up their own a** and used an illumination spell to turn them self into a jack-o-lantern. I know I would.
Do you ever think about how many people must work in curse-proofing? Like, there must be a pretty sizable economic sector dedicated to putting curse blockers on, for instance, basically everything that magical world leaders ever come into contact with. How many leaders around the world do you think were killed by exploding forks or furniture turning into lions or something of that nature? Magical anti-terrorism must be pretty hectic in a world where anything can theoretically be turned into a bomb with the right spell. Even when you're just casually walking through a crowd of magic users, you're essentially surrounded by a bunch of people with guns; they could all kill someone if they know "avada kedavra." I thought you can't block that curse, so how do leaders stay safe during public events? Then of course there's polyjuice potion; do you think they have a scanner to make sure everyone who enters a government building is really who they say they are? They clearly don't at the bank since Hermione was able to get in as Bellatrix.
The punishments are pretty extreme. Azkaban should be considered a crime against humanity. In the Fantastic Beasts movie it was too easy for the main characters to be sent for execution. It also bothered me that the executioners were so calm/happy helping someone die. Umbridge should not have been able to use a magical hand-scarring pen to punish people. Honestly, it feels like the law in that world has no limits, and I'd be scared if I lived somewhere in which that was normal. Wizards/witches have probably committed some pretty sick acts because their legal system is shady. For example, they could torture someone as punishment and instantly heal them, over and over again. Or they can use a spell that forces them to experience their worst nightmares.
I've Got Dragon PoxGiphy
I've always wondered how many sexual mishaps Madame Pomfrey has to deal with. Like, there has to be male students who tried an "engorging" charm at one point or another and it backfired. What about STDs? Do wizards have different STDs? Newt Scamander said that Muggles have different physiologies than wizards (in context of medications). That said, can a Muggle born introduce a new STD to the wizarding community? There has to be birth control charms or potions, as you never hear of pregnant students at Hogwarts. Is there an abortion spell/potion? Is this controversial in the wizard world? Is there a spell that girls can use to intentionally stop a period? I mean, if you can magically straighten teeth or have skelo-grow, I don't see it as being that far-fetched.
Let's just break some things down about the wizarding world, some red-flag stuff:
- Everyone that attends Hogwarts has a 5th grade education. You receive your Hogwarts acceptance letter between your 10th and 11th birthday (seems to be some uncertainty on that). That puts a kid roughly around 5th grade of elementary school wherein they are pulled out of their education and brought into a curriculum tailored towards magic more-so than academics. Yes, of course, learning about magic is hugely important and many education systems throughout the world are less than stellar, but I very much doubt the curriculum is tailored to help students learn and retain all the necessary levels of information to be able to actually interact with society easily.
- Muggle-society has developed in a much more sophisticated manner than the wizarding society. Reread Harry Potter and watch how Arthur Weasley gets when it comes to interacting with anything muggle related. He works for the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office, which is focused on making sure enchanted muggle items are kept well and clear from muggles. He is constantly amazed at muggle ingenuity. How they have developed the technology that they have. How things work and operate. Airplanes are a total mystery to him. Looking at how everything operates and looks in the wizarding world, it doesn't look like that is exclusive to him. I would argue that their dependence on magic to solve all things has led, ultimately, to a fundamental lack of innovation. They merely can make things fly, without ever attempting to understand the underlying reality of it all. Also, it's telling that both Hermione and Harry act very differently compared to many others because of their upbringing. Having no knowledge of magic or the wizarding world, they operated in a world where finding answers and getting results required actual application of knowledge, resourcefulness, and effort.
- Muggle studies. An elective taken from the third year on. Subjects include "Why muggles need electricity.", hangman, crosswords, and playgrounds. Most considered it an easy class, not worth taking the time in (Percy Weasley felt it should be important, in contrast, so as to help the magical community better understand and relate to the non-magical community). Let us not forget that within a century, two Dark Lords rose to power both believing that all muggles should be subjugated to the wizarding world, and they had a lot of support. Having a poor understanding of other groups of peoples and communities is an easy way to ultimately dehumanize them and see them as nothing more than tools and pawns.
- The government within the wizarding world is... flimsy. Now, at the end of the day, wizards are humans and human nature and politics leads to inevitable conclusions. That said, the politics and bureaucracy present in the wizarding world is nothing short of a disaster. With how easily things can change and be swayed, from peaceful and cooperate to violent and subversive, stability leaves a lot to be questioned. To be frank, the only form of clear direction and ambition is present only when the Death Eaters and Voldemort take control. Beforehand, it was stagnant and ultimately wanted to keep its fingers in its ears. It's even telling in what became the norm: He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. When you are afraid to speak a name, and thusly things related to the individual, you have granted a lot of power out of your own cowardice. And the wizarrding world gave Voldemort a lot of power.
- Clear separation of the magical and non-magical communities. Yes, you can't just drop the veil and hope all will be well. But really look at how things operate. Arthur is amazed at the Grangers exchanging their money for wizard money, and have their own for0m of currency. Transportation is by brooms and floo systems. Communication through birds. Buildings are hidden in plain sight. The magical community goes through little effort to ever actually live in the non-magical world, but wishes to do all it can to separate itself. Now, obviously such places that are separated must exist for the safety of everyone. But this constant separation only amplifies my 3rd point and that they are terrible at actually cooperating with their non-magical neighbors.
So why do I mention all of these things. It's real easy to read Harry Potter and think "Oh man! Being a wizard would be amazing! I want to be in that world!", but the reality is that things aren't better, just more of the same in a different way. They are, broadly speaking, a group of easily swayed people that wish to remain removed from a situation that cannot be solved by magic alone: interacting with non-magical people. However, they also lack the ability to take responsibility and investigate matters in a way that would actually protect those that don't even know another world exists. They wield some of the most powerful forces known to humankind, and have the education of middle schoolers and societal functionality of older kingdoms. Imagine a group of people like that existing in this world, and tell me how order is ultimately maintained?
Either it isn't, and magical members of the community regularly interact and interfere with muggle society to their own gains, with little regard to its impact. Or there is ultimately a "task force" (EDIT: I had forgotten that there is one. Obliviators. Look them up. Crazy.) that operates in such a way that they are regularly wiping people's memories or whole lives so as to keep a secret. Muggle saw a girl using a broom, wipe her memory. Muggle was brutally murdered by witch. Unsolved murder as far as the muggles are concerned. Theft? Oh well. Any illicit behavior is swept under the rug in some capacity so as to not "cause a public outcry". The magical community can talk about how muggles and wizards are equal, but they are pretty much lying. The non-magical community is at the whims of of the magical community each and every day, and they don't want you to really know it. It's like if the Illuminati were real, but full of incompetent people who don't really understand you or your world.
So, to answer OP's question, think of anything that does happen in real life with one extra caveat: The prime directive is in full effect and we can never truly know it happened. The Ministry of Magic will subvert the law and idea of justice whenever anything bad happens to an average person. Imagine watching a movie where you are watching Aurors going around, seeing all the ways Voldemort and his Death Eaters left a trail of death and destruction in their wake, and intentionally tampering with evidence and crime scenes, obstructing justice, and interfering at every turn so we can never know who did it, or that there is a magical world out there that thinks we can't actually cooperate or be trusted with such power.
And remember that Arthur Weasley was amazed by a turnstile. That most of them are probably incapable of actual problem solving and reasoning above a 5th grader level, since magic makes everything easy.
They know what's best for the non-magical community, guys.
P.S.- I know the movies aren't strictly canon, but watch them and pay attention to how the muggle side of things are presented. Being a muggle is boring, dull, uninteresting, and gray. Colors are muted. Everyone acts the same. That's pretty much how the wizarding world contrasts the muggle world. Quite frankly, a wizard or witch standing up and saying "We need to take control of the muggles. They obviously don't really have any idea what they're doing. We'll uplift them!" should happen about once a year.
It Mirrors UsGiphy
In the last book, it's mentioned that many of the first year wizarding students had simply gone missing without explanation, because of the Death Eaters on the loose. These kids are never found. It's pretty frickin dark to imagine the Hogwarts Express getting stopped and boarded, and all the young first year students getting escorted to concentration camps.
Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
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As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.
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