People Share The Hardest Thing They've Ever Had To Say To Someone
Sometimes you just need to have the hard conversations with people. The kind that are the last resort, that you really really don't want to have. It sucks, but it's necessary. Here are a few examples of these tough conversations, courtesy of the people of Reddit.
u/Ryrylx asked: [serious] What's the hardest thing you've had to say to someone?
That's super tough.
Telling my dad on the phone that my mom was dead. They hadn't been together for almost 20 years but they were still good friends and loved each other very much. She was the first woman he ever loved, marriage just wasn't good. I had to call him as soon as he got to work. I asked him if he could come by my house and he asked what was wrong and I said, "Mom's dead." (I was still in shock.)
The sad and defeated "oh my god oh my god" he said over the phone broke my heart. It didn't fully hit me until he pulled up and I just collapsed in his arms. It was awful. Worst morning of my entire life.
Good for you.Giphy
Told my mother she would no longer be a part of my life or my kids' lives.
It's been 12 years and counting. She's a toxic narcissist and the final straw was her saying something incredibly demeaning to my youngest daughter during a two week vacation on the beach (that I was 100% funding). I immediately put her a** in a cab back to the airport and have not seen or spoken to her since.
Definitely difficult, but my life is SO much better now.
I had to tell my friend's mom that I shat my pants while watching a scary movie when I was at my friend's place. It was so hard to tell her. I kept talking about something else every time when I went to tell her. [seriously]
Sorry that happened to you and I hope it ended well but this is really funny to picture lol. 10th attempt: I....well...I was watching a movie...and it got me thinking, what's the deal with movies?
Wars kill in many ways.
Having to tell my daughter in law that my son, her husband, was dead.
Both my sons suffered from PTSD. The youngest became severely depressed and committed suicide. The eldest just rode his motorcycle into oncoming traffic on an interstate late at night. Wars kill in many ways.
It's good to communicate.Giphy
"I feel like I'm being neglected by you." Followed by.. "Just because we love each other doesn't mean we are good for each."
That's some solid communication right there, well done. My ex had that talk with me (we were both bad for each other but I can't deny that as a younger man I was a bad boyfriend). Years later we are still friends and are both in healthy relationships. I am a proud decent husband and I owe a lot of my growth to my ex for calling out unacceptable behaviors.
Good for you.
The morning after a (now ex) boyfriend left my apartment, I had to call a sexual assault hotline. Saying out loud that he had hurt me and asking what I needed to do next was so hard to say out loud.
The out loud is so hard. I struggle with people's reactions too. Not that they react badly, but I hate breaking their hearts.
Alcoholism hurts everyone involved.
I had to tell my husband, whom I love more than life itself, second only to my children, that he couldn't come home until he seriously started making some good decisions about his problem drinking and his life.
I miss him desperately.
One of the hardest things in the world.Giphy
Having to explain to all of the friends in my friend group that our other friend had killed himself. I had that conversation 12 times that day alone, and I remember each word for word. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to explain.
A couple of years back, one of my close friends died in a road accident. I had to make the call to the rest of our gang. It was traumatic. To think about it now, gives me anxiety.
That's such a hard ultimatum.
My ex had a brain tumor. He had two months to live or to get surgery. He didn't want to go under the knife because he was terrified of doctors. I had to tell him that I would leave him unless he got the surgery because I wasn't going to watch him die. He got the surgery and is alive today.
I don't feel bad for emotionally manipulating him. It was hard but it was for the best.
I had to tell an employee that he smelled and needs to improve his personal hygiene.
I'm sure everybody else appreciated it.
I have problems with my nose and had a family member approach me about this once. I was pretty mad about how they did it, but really wished somebody had said something sooner. If anything, it shows you care about his well being.
A tough one.Giphy
Having to tell my mom that I was scared to be alone with her. My dad had just been arrested and sent to a rehab facility, and my mom was a heavy cocaine user. On top of that she was off her meds. I hadn't eaten at all that day, and I hadn't been to school in three weeks. She was hallucinating and being paranoid.
I told her I didn't feel safe with her because she was too incapacitated to make dinner. Whatever I said snapped her out of it, and she called relatives to take care of me, and then she went to rehab. I was eleven.
That's so sad.
My friend handed me a card with cursive. She asked me to read it, since she can't read cursive. The card said that her mom had HIV, and I really couldn't bear to tell her. And when I did, she just took the card and walked off.
I had to speak to an employee about his masturbating during work time. He would leave his work station multiple times a day and go to the bathroom and masturbate.
His co-workers were pretty fed up with his actions and the fact that one of the two bathroom stalls was always occupied.
Awhile back, I found my best friend's dead body. His uncle was my housemate, and his parents lived a state away from me.
Not only did I have to come back to my own house and deal with his uncle's reaction... But I refused to let the cops call my buddies parents to tell them. The sounds his mom made during my phone call will stick with me forever.
That's a hard one.
I had to tell someone that I didn't love them in the same way they loved me. It was awful because they are a really close friend and I didn't want to hurt them.
Humans are annoying.
Our attention spans are limited, our attitudes really need adjusting, and we make dating torture on ourselves.
So losing interest in a person should be more of a given than a surprise.
But it is fascinating to learn about what can change a person's mind about another so quickly.
Redditor lixxie_lx wanted to hear about all the big and minuscule things that have us running for the hills, so they asked:
"What instantly makes you lose interest in a person?"
This is a major issue for me.
I lose interest at the speed of light.
Not Cuterude kim kardashian GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy
"Superiority complex. It’s fine to be confident, but if you need to put others down to feel that way you’re just insecure and it’s not cute."
"The moment I can tell that they aren’t trying. Either they aren’t all that interested in me or they expect me to do all of the 'work' so to speak. Either reason is a good enough one to step away."
"I’m going through this as well. 5 year relationship, no kids thankfully and not married. We’ve had to do long distance the last few months and she’s essentially radio silent. Never calls and only texts back if I chase her."
"We trust each other implicitly and even share location but the lack of interest in even checking in with me or being affectionate unless I initiate it has me feeling so gaslit. I fear it’s something as simple as growing apart but neither person wanting to end it."
"When I tell them I don't like something, or something makes me uncomfortable and they continue to do it intentionally as if it's flirting."
"Hardest breakup I ever had was because of a person's inability to stop f**king with me... it's not funny when someone says that it bothers them and you continue to do it."
"Everything else was really good it gave me huge self doubt that I was just being a whimp and she had a point that it was just teasing. Even got to the point that I thought that's just the way this give and take is gonna go in this relationship. Glad I decided to get out... I would have been miserable."
"Constantly talking sh*t about others and trying to boost their own ego."
"Yup, I thought I met a good person at first, but then she started talking sh*t about everyone, not to mention if I got something I wanted, instead of being happy for me, she becomes extremely jealous."
"The last straw was when she left me in the middle of the street and left without me for university even though she told me she was picking me up. Sadly, she's still friends with my sister, and she kinda has to be because they share so many classes, but I'm still trying to find a way to cut off all contact, which is harder than I thought would be."
I See YouMarried At First Sight No GIF by LifetimeGiphy
"Few things are 'instant' dealbreakers, but blatant displays of rudeness or condescension toward strangers when under stress is a big red flag. Like, I get that you are frustrated, but there is no need to be a d*ck."
Why is kindness so arduous for some people?
Kindness Firsthot dog waiter GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy
"If they mistreat others, especially those who are in the service industries."
Stay in the moment...
"When they can't stop checking their mobile phones every few seconds while we are talking. I went out with a woman who would do that. After the 4th date I stopped going out with her and dated another woman. The former was surprised to know that."
"I said 'But girl, you're always on the phone while I talk to you, it makes me feel ignored you know' and she was angry/sad. But I'm not exaggerating when I say she was staring on that screen and sending voice messages and all that to other friends of her while we were dating."
"Lack of curiosity/intellectual laziness. lack of empathy, excessively judgemental attitude, narcissism, treating others as subhuman, spewing hatred, excessive victim behavior, and/or unnecessary combativeness. Maybe I'm just picky."
"Assuming that if they don't know it it isn't worth knowing/can't be interesting. Also adults - well into adulthood, whose excuse for not knowing something is that they weren't taught about it at school. If they taught you to read you can keep learning on your own, you know."
"It definitely (for me i’m talking friendships) depends on a couple things. how they respond to emotional situations (example is are they caring/comforting or being dismissive and not really trying to put anything into it?)... how they respond to boundaries, if they’re mean or judgmental of others, like if we were talking and walking and they randomly look at another person walking and insult them, that’s DEFINITELY a hard no."
TropesWill Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
"The 'hard to get' trope. like its one thing if there actually isn't mutual interest but when there is and someone makes you feel like you're working for their time and consideration, forget it."
"Talking about money. Pitching me business ideas. Speaking ill of people they view as lesser. Always comparing things they associate with prestige, and never speaking about anything of real substance."
Have any of these things ever happened to you? Let us know in the comments below.
Purposefully inflicted pain.
One of the most famous examples I can recall is that walking on coals nonsense.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!
That and Bikram yoga. Good Lord the heat.
The things humans will put ourselves through is astounding.
The things we can actually withstand is kind of amazing though.
Redditor Ok_Security_8657 wanted to hear about the times we've had to suffer through, so they asked:
"What is the most painful thing you've ever experienced, *on purpose*?"
Let's see what stories Reddit had to contribute.
Twice?!Season 2 Couch GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"Novocaine doesn't work on me. For submarine service you have to have all of your wisdom teeth removed. The Navy does not use anything other than novocaine. They only pull two at a time though. I went back the second time."
"I cut my thumb pretty bad years ago while using a knife in my kitchen. And looking at the salt shaker on the counter I got the idea to literally. Pour salt on a wound. It was like an electric shock was sent through my nervous system. A short but very intense feeling of pain. Use salt water/saline instead."
"Technically it is an electric shock as salt has negative ion that if the condition is correct it would shock your nerves."
"I have a friend who got a lung biopsy WITHOUT numbing and pain meds. She was 14. She said she wanted to 'feel it' like the biopsy on her knee (which did, in fact, use drugs). She says it was the most painful experience of her life. She had 26 cancerous tumors big enough to show up when on the scan of her lungs. She is happily married, alive and well, and a total bada**."
"I cut my arm open trying to catch a falling glass once. Saw the insides. To be thorough, I cleaned the wound by alternating squirting isopropyl alcohol and hydrogen peroxide in it. A little later my surgeon friend told me soap and water would have been good enough to clean it. Welp."
"Next time use coffee grounds. I've also heard of people using chili powder but that seems like it'd be nasty."
MotionlessJake Johnson Pain GIF by New GirlGiphy
"IUD fitting. Thought it was all fine because I didn't have too much pain during the procedure... 12 hours later I could not move from the pain and had to get my mum to deliver pain killers to my flat at 7am next morning bc I'd gone through everything we had."
Painkillers 24/7 for somethings please.
WHITE HOT AGONYmadeline kahn flames GIFGiphy
"Recently, I had a couple plantars warts cut out of my feet. The shots they use to numb you suuuuck. Went right into the bottom of each of my feet under the big toes. WHITE HOT AGONY. Thankfully, the pain doesn't last very long, and the operation was pretty much painless after that."
"Getting my eyes washed after being Pepper sprayed. We were given a chance to experience the proper stuff while in military. My mind went 'Hell yeah, that will be cool!' Well, got sprayed, had to walk 5 meters to a person holding a water bottle so he could rinse my eyes. Motherf**ker had warm/hot water in the bottle and he poured it to my face."
"It burned even more and I got waterboarded at the same time."
"I've heard that you can experience pain that makes you fear you will die. Maybe, but at that moment I learned that you can feel pain that makes you fear that you might not die, and you have to suffer that pain."
"The most painful experience of my life was passing a kidney stone, though whether or not it can be considered to have been experienced on purpose is debatable. I certainly contributed to its development through my choices, but that’s another story."
"On the other hand, I had an ingrown toenail removed before."
"After removing the entire side of the nail, the doctor chemically burned the exposed nail bed with a chemical called phenol. Even though my toe was entirely numb, it was the most white hot searing pain ever. It hurt so bad it took my breath away. The best part is that the toenail came back, and I’m getting it done again in two weeks."
"Decided I had to tell the woman I fell in love with that I had feelings for her. I knew before I told her that she would reject me. She was not in a mentally healthy place and didn’t want to be with ANYONE. But I wanted her to know the truth. So I took the rejection like a man and we are still friends."
"Putting my wedding ring on our bedroom dresser (knowing my marriage was over) while my wife was across town doing a police officer she had met at the shooting range. I walked out of our house and have not spoken to or seen her since. That was over 40 years ago."
Bye ByeSad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy
"Putting my dog down. She passed in my arms. There's a song that I associate with her which I can't hear without tearing up, despite her exiting my life more than a decade ago."
These are some brave folks who have been through some enormous pain. We thank thank for sharing!
Do you have anything you'd like to add? Let us know in the comment section.
People Break Down Which Things Everyone Should Experience At Least Once In Their Lives
Especially in today's economy, with many of the stresses that appeared during the pandemic still hanging over our heads, it can be easy to forget to look for the joyful experiences in our days.
And some of these experiences can be truly life-altering, so much so that everyone should experience them at least once.
Redditor HappyNuisance asked:
"What's something everyone should experience at least once in their life?"
Mend a Broken Heart
"Heartbreak... it sucks and is one of the absolute worst feelings you can imagine but it helps if you experience that younger in life rather than, at say, 60 because it helps you grow as a person!"
Provide Hospice Care
"I have a weird one... When someone is in hospice and needs 24-hour care, if possible, take them into your home, learn all you can about what to do so you don't need hospice coming out whenever something comes up."
"We did this for my mother as she died of pancreatic cancer back in 2010 and my kids (ages six and nine at the time) got to see and experience a loved one's death. They saw it wasn't scary or anything to be afraid of. They learned the true meaning of compassion, love, humility, and respect."
"I consider it an honor and a privilege to have taken care of my mom while she was on her deathbed."
Reconnect with Nature
"Go camping. Spend some time in the wilderness with no electronics, no demands, and (hopefully) no stress. Just detach from the modern world for a short while and enjoy the return to nature."
Disconnect from Technology
"Being well and absolutely disconnected. No phones, no GPS. I last had that experience in the early 90s. Being somewhere with someone you trust and the two of you are the only people who know where you are and what you are doing."
Visit Another Country
"As an American, an extended stay in a foreign country. Being stationed in Europe for several years was mind-blowing. You really cannot grasp the completely sheltered, ethnocentric bubble that we Americans live in until you are able to spend some extended time outside of it."
"Also, as an American, it is difficult to grasp how truly ancient Europe is, and similarly, I noticed that non-Americans have difficulty grasping how truly enormous America is."
"Hunting, fishing, gardening, gathering, whatever it takes to supply yourself with a food source, independently, for at least a few days. It really opens your eyes to the time and labor required to feed one person, let alone billions. It also makes you acutely aware of the delicate balance we live each day with food supplies."
"Experiencing a major sporting event in person. For me, the most important memorable ones were football, both European and American. I was fortunate enough to experience the World Cup in Germany and have been to several NFL games in the U.S."
"It is incredible to be in a massive arena with 80,000 other humans, feeling the energy, feeling the ground shake. It gives you a bit of insight into what it must have been like in the Roman heydays of the Coliseum. It also helps you to grasp the enormity of a natural disaster, when you see what such a large number of people actually looks like."
"I could go on for days, lol (laughing out loud)."
Immerse Yourself in Another Culture
"Another culture. And I don’t mean as a tourist where you have all the comforts of home. To fully absorb and immerse yourself in the lives of that culture. To eat their foods, drink their drinks, and do as they do."
Go Scuba Diving
"I went night diving on my honeymoon in Bonaire and saw the ostracods (little bioluminescent shrimp) lighting up the water all around me. The most beautiful, magical thing I have ever experienced."
Remember to Do the Silly Things
"On road trips through the Midwest, I play a game called Transition. It’s where we try to find a cow 'in transition' which means the cow is either getting up or sitting down."
"Think about it. You always see cows sitting or standing. Have you ever seen a cow get up or sit down?"
"Now go and have 'fun' with that, Reddit."
"Gratitude for being alive. And I don't mean it like after a near-death experience. I'm talking about the epiphany you get doing the simplest task or after a bad day. The sudden realization of being alive and being able to feel however you're feeling at the moment is something everyone should experience and be grateful for."
See a Solar Eclipse
"Witnessing a total solar eclipse."
"Totally life-changing. Even having a full understanding of what is happening, I totally get how people over the millennia would find this to be an omen from the gods."
Feel Financial Independence
"Even if it's only for a short period of time: full financial independence while being single. You can pay your own bills, you have your own place, and you have full freedom over your free time."
"Whether it's staying in and binge-watching Netflix, or going out and sitting amongst strangers, your time is your own. No kids. No spouse or significant other. I find this is when you really get to know and understand yourself."
Gain a New Perspective on Home
"Everyone should experience the joys of traveling to a foreign land at least once in their lifetime, even if it's just to realize how much they love their own toilet."
"Imagine discovering new cultures, cuisines, and the thrill of trying to communicate with locals using just charades and a phrasebook. Trust me, it's a life-changing experience that'll give you a new appreciation for your home and a killer accent to boot."
Don't Miss Out on the Ocean
"I took a friend to see the ocean for the first time, something I had seen regularly since I was a child. He was awestruck and we just sat there watching for about an hour."
Listen to the Sound of Snow Falling
"The sound of it snowing. I laid on the ground, in the snow at night in the Alaskan wilderness, in December, it's so peaceful."
Give Thanks Instead of Regrets
"Last year I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. In the days and weeks leading up to my kidney removal, I would get up early and just sit outside on our porch swing and watch the sunrise."
"So many mornings I just sat in silence and realized how much I would miss the sounds of morning birds, the breeze, the sun touching the tops of the trees, and the rest of life waking up. I realized how much I would miss living. I couldn't imagine not experiencing life and everything it brings you in every moment if you only take a moment to appreciate it."
"I know this isn't quite the reason you meant, but it was the first time in a long time a really felt connected to everything and it has made me more thankful for those little quiet moments."
All of these beautiful sentiments are relatively straight-forward, if not simple, in principal, but their impact is powerful and can leave a person forever changed.
Imagine how fulfilling it would be to cross all of these off of your list.
Guys Divulge Which Things All Men Secretly Do
When it comes to certain behaviors, it's a gender thing.
Our different anatomy makes men specifically do things–like adjust their crotch area in public or just give up altogether and spread their legs while sitting on a subway train to make themselves comfortable.
But it's not just about moving a stuck testicle.
There are other peculiarities exclusively associated with men.
Curious to find out more about what else men typically do, Redditor Sythanytx asked:
"Guys of Reddit, what is one thing that all guys do?"
Here's some behind the scenes examples of what guys do concerning what's between their legs.
"Pretending to put our hands in our pocket when actually we're actually trying to untangle our underwear."
"The side step to unstick your junk from your thigh."
Here's what happens in the men's room.
"Give each other space at the urinals. 9 times out of 10, the only time you will see 2 guys using directly adjacent urinals is when there's no other choice. Otherwise, the rule is every other urinal, and we're pretty good at it."
Focus On The Task At Hand
"The stare blankly at the wall when peeing at a urinals."
"Looking to the side is punishable by death."
These behaviors occur before accomplishing a task.
"Pressing the trigger on your drill a couple of times as soon as you pick it up."
"What my brother calls the 'guy check.'"
"We slap our pockets to make sure we have our wallet, keys, and phone."
Maybe it's a guy thing.
Clearing The Path
"Kick rocks off of the sidewalk or down the street."
A Boulder Move
"enjoy dropping big rocks into water etc."
Hear Him Roar
"One time I was in a walking path that crosses over a lake. Two little boys were running to the shore and back up to toss in rocks. I walked down to the shore picked up a bowling size rock and threw it off the bridge for them. I was a god in their little eyes. Lol."
"I have no idea wtf is going on in most of my friends personal lives... Known them for years."
"Critically think if the next woman that talks to us is flirting with us or is trying to be a friend.... usually we fail anyways."
Here's a twist, if you will.
It's no secret men have an advantage with peeing while standing.
But here's my personal secret, and it's not something all men do.
At home, I pee sitting down. It's for a sanitary reason. I don't want to make a splash and have micro droplets accumulating on the bathroom floor, because, gross.
I wish my husband felt the same; but, I can't complain.
He always puts the seat back down for me when he's emptied out.