People Share The Hardest Thing They've Ever Had To Say To Someone
Sometimes you just need to have the hard conversations with people. The kind that are the last resort, that you really really don't want to have. It sucks, but it's necessary. Here are a few examples of these tough conversations, courtesy of the people of Reddit.
u/Ryrylx asked: [serious] What's the hardest thing you've had to say to someone?
That's super tough.
Telling my dad on the phone that my mom was dead. They hadn't been together for almost 20 years but they were still good friends and loved each other very much. She was the first woman he ever loved, marriage just wasn't good. I had to call him as soon as he got to work. I asked him if he could come by my house and he asked what was wrong and I said, "Mom's dead." (I was still in shock.)
The sad and defeated "oh my god oh my god" he said over the phone broke my heart. It didn't fully hit me until he pulled up and I just collapsed in his arms. It was awful. Worst morning of my entire life.
Good for you.Giphy
Told my mother she would no longer be a part of my life or my kids' lives.
It's been 12 years and counting. She's a toxic narcissist and the final straw was her saying something incredibly demeaning to my youngest daughter during a two week vacation on the beach (that I was 100% funding). I immediately put her a** in a cab back to the airport and have not seen or spoken to her since.
Definitely difficult, but my life is SO much better now.
I had to tell my friend's mom that I shat my pants while watching a scary movie when I was at my friend's place. It was so hard to tell her. I kept talking about something else every time when I went to tell her. [seriously]
Sorry that happened to you and I hope it ended well but this is really funny to picture lol. 10th attempt: I....well...I was watching a movie...and it got me thinking, what's the deal with movies?
Wars kill in many ways.
Having to tell my daughter in law that my son, her husband, was dead.
Both my sons suffered from PTSD. The youngest became severely depressed and committed suicide. The eldest just rode his motorcycle into oncoming traffic on an interstate late at night. Wars kill in many ways.
It's good to communicate.Giphy
"I feel like I'm being neglected by you." Followed by.. "Just because we love each other doesn't mean we are good for each."
That's some solid communication right there, well done. My ex had that talk with me (we were both bad for each other but I can't deny that as a younger man I was a bad boyfriend). Years later we are still friends and are both in healthy relationships. I am a proud decent husband and I owe a lot of my growth to my ex for calling out unacceptable behaviors.
Good for you.
The morning after a (now ex) boyfriend left my apartment, I had to call a sexual assault hotline. Saying out loud that he had hurt me and asking what I needed to do next was so hard to say out loud.
The out loud is so hard. I struggle with people's reactions too. Not that they react badly, but I hate breaking their hearts.
Alcoholism hurts everyone involved.
I had to tell my husband, whom I love more than life itself, second only to my children, that he couldn't come home until he seriously started making some good decisions about his problem drinking and his life.
I miss him desperately.
One of the hardest things in the world.Giphy
Having to explain to all of the friends in my friend group that our other friend had killed himself. I had that conversation 12 times that day alone, and I remember each word for word. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to explain.
A couple of years back, one of my close friends died in a road accident. I had to make the call to the rest of our gang. It was traumatic. To think about it now, gives me anxiety.
That's such a hard ultimatum.
My ex had a brain tumor. He had two months to live or to get surgery. He didn't want to go under the knife because he was terrified of doctors. I had to tell him that I would leave him unless he got the surgery because I wasn't going to watch him die. He got the surgery and is alive today.
I don't feel bad for emotionally manipulating him. It was hard but it was for the best.
I had to tell an employee that he smelled and needs to improve his personal hygiene.
I'm sure everybody else appreciated it.
I have problems with my nose and had a family member approach me about this once. I was pretty mad about how they did it, but really wished somebody had said something sooner. If anything, it shows you care about his well being.
A tough one.Giphy
Having to tell my mom that I was scared to be alone with her. My dad had just been arrested and sent to a rehab facility, and my mom was a heavy cocaine user. On top of that she was off her meds. I hadn't eaten at all that day, and I hadn't been to school in three weeks. She was hallucinating and being paranoid.
I told her I didn't feel safe with her because she was too incapacitated to make dinner. Whatever I said snapped her out of it, and she called relatives to take care of me, and then she went to rehab. I was eleven.
That's so sad.
My friend handed me a card with cursive. She asked me to read it, since she can't read cursive. The card said that her mom had HIV, and I really couldn't bear to tell her. And when I did, she just took the card and walked off.
I had to speak to an employee about his masturbating during work time. He would leave his work station multiple times a day and go to the bathroom and masturbate.
His co-workers were pretty fed up with his actions and the fact that one of the two bathroom stalls was always occupied.
Awhile back, I found my best friend's dead body. His uncle was my housemate, and his parents lived a state away from me.
Not only did I have to come back to my own house and deal with his uncle's reaction... But I refused to let the cops call my buddies parents to tell them. The sounds his mom made during my phone call will stick with me forever.
That's a hard one.
I had to tell someone that I didn't love them in the same way they loved me. It was awful because they are a really close friend and I didn't want to hurt them.
Guys Share Their Instant Dating Profile Turnoffs
Attraction is almost always instant.
So is losing attraction.
I once lost interest on a date because of how they held a fork... long story.
So when surfing the apps, we often find turnoffs immediately.
It could be a pic or a profile.
People really need to put more effort into looking at these sites.
Redditor GIazednConfused wanted to hear about all the things that make us lose our attraction immediately, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit on dating apps, what’s something you see on a woman’s profile that instantly turns you off?"
Turn ons/turn offs, it's all so easy.
I hate rude profiles.
You firstValentines Date GIF by BumbleGiphy
"If they say 'I don’t contact first' on Bumble."
"A lot of profiles are copy/pasted from other dating profiles they've made but I also like to think Bumble has acknowledged this by allowing gals to make the first move by sending an emoji instead of making them write something."
More than 1
"When it's 2-3 of the same people in every single picture and I have no idea who she is. That level of obliviousness is so unattractive. Disturbingly obvious filters."
"Group photos make sense as PART of a profile. Your first picture should be just of you, but shots of me actually on stage or with my performance troupe are about as 'real' an image as you're gonna get of me in my element."
"A bunch of pictures of me playing video games by myself alone is a much worse sell than 'look at my huge assortment of friends and adventures we go on together.'"
"If you have to state that you hate drama specifically, you LOVE drama."
"In my experience, the ones who hate drama are constantly surrounded by it because they started it. The ones who love it have distant friends or acquaintances who start drama, so all they have to do is sit back and watch the fireworks."
"I never realized this until you said it, but yeah, I f**king love drama, but I'm always the guy making popcorn and just watching it all unfold. If something comes up that involves me and could lead to drama, I nip that s**t in the bud before it sprouts whenever possible."
"I remember a profile like this, saying 'don't just say hey.' She referenced something about birds on her profile, which I like, so I opened with that - 'top three favorite birds, go' and then gave my list."
"Her response was 'my list: 0 birds.'"
"I recently went through a period in my life in which I got hundreds of matches, and out of them I'd say I could count on my fingers the number who actually knew how to have a conversation. It makes me so mad because before this, women had always told me that was specifically a male problem."
BlahHappy Bugs Bunny GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"‘Entertain me’ - ‘don’t be boring.’ Typically these people are the dullest and most entitled people I’ve ever interacted with."
No YOU entertain ME.
I like CatwomanHarley Quinn Dancing GIF by DCGiphy
“'I’m looking for my Joker to my Harley Quinn.'"
"Sorry, but unless it’s for cosplay or Halloween, that tells me you’re rather dysfunctional in relationships and somehow thrive in it."
"I love when every picture is a group picture and some have the same women in each. Bonus points if everyone is wearing sunglasses. Great... which one are you?"
"'Looking for my partner in crime.' None of the women who put that are actually down for armed robbery or money laundering."
I Got Goals
"One profile I saw a while back, the woman stated that she wouldn't consider any man who makes less than 100K. There are more subtle ways to convey that: 'I want someone ambitious, driven, and successful in his career.' The way she phrased it made her look like a gold digger, especially since she wasn't making anything close to that amount."
"Edit: This was back in the early 2000s. These days, I'm sure the goalpost has moved to 200K."
"It's been a couple years, but back then I had a few 'rules' that were instant passes."
"My main rule was any corrected age. If their profile said 22 and the first line of the bio was immediately '19. Who knows if they're even the age they say they are now."
"My other rule of thumb was not having their face in their first pic, i.e. neck down shot. You'd be surprised how many had this."
"Cigarette smoker. No offense to those who smoke. I personally do not like it and wouldn’t want to be with someone who does it. I’ve tried it like twice out of curiosity and instantly knew it wasn’t for me."
It takes so little to like someone a little less.
These Redditors can't be alone in their turnoffs.
Do you have any non-starters? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down The Times They Thought They Might Actually Die But Didn't
Life is fleeting.
We face the end every second of the day.
We have no idea about the ticking time bombs in our bodies.
We have no clue what's around every corner we turn.
When face to face with death, the mind wonders.
Or maybe it finds peace.
Redditor LaVidaFiesta wanted to hear about the times we've been SHOOK by the aspect of dying, so they asked:
"When did you think you would die, but didn't?"
I've lost track of times I've been near death, mostly all traffic incidents.
I always start praying.
Road HazardDriving Jim Carrey GIF by Morgan CreekGiphy
"Dated a dangerous driver. One night he decided, with me in the car, to overtake a lorry on a country road where he couldn't see crap. We were seconds from a head-on collision and I never set foot in his car again. He later had to go to prison for driving offences."
So Much Blood
"When I was 17, in 1989, I got shot outside of a party in Detroit. So much blood, s**t hurt like hell, burned hotter than the sun. But twas just a flesh wound, didn't hit any vital organs."
"'Minor' heart attack at 37. Nothing minor about feeling like you're drowning on land."
"Go tell that to my dad who refused to take me to the hospital when the 19 yo me asked him to go cause I felt like something was definitely wrong with my heart when it happened 24 yo now, and my cardiologist been saying that I'm a miracle and if I didn't have an healthy and 'athletic' heart I would probably not be here anymore."
Roll With It
"My friends dragged me up to the mountains without my knowledge (i was told we were just going for a drive until we were halfway there). So I'm already at the mountain and I'm like... 'aight i guess ill just roll with it.' They had me build the fire since I'm the only one thats any good at building fires. Long story short the smoke inhalation caused me to have extreme asthma without an inhaler."
"Everyone refused to take me to the hospital the entire day. I ended up coughing so forcefully and so often that I ended up with pneumomediastinum (a hole in the lung causing air to leak into the mediastinum). Needless to say I cut off all ties with them."
"When I woke up with an asthma attack and couldn’t breathe."
"The most frightening feeling in the world... I moved to a different city with a different climate, and my asthma attacks usually will start with coughs, but now it's just a little uncomfortable and boom, my throat is closed... Very, very scary. Hope your asthma is under control."
"I was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal colon cancer and given 4 months to a year. I thought I would be dead by now but I’m still alive coming up to 8 months since the diagnosis. Starting to feel a bit of pain otherwise I’m fine."
Never stop living when you can.
Fast & Furiouspaul walker pw GIFGiphy
"Car tried passing a truck going maybe 120kmh. I was going 100kmh. Head on. Time did slow down but it was calm just accepting I was going to die. Paramedics went to the scene expecting nobody to survive and I came out with couple minor injuries. Haven’t been scared to die since."
"Almost two years ago, my now ex-wife got really made at me. Way more than normal it was so bad I asked her to stop the car and let me out. She stopped, I opened the door, put my feet on the ground and she floored the car! The rear wheel ran over my arm, neck, and shoulder."
"Cracked skull , small brain bleeding loss of mass in the frontal lobe, disconnected my Brain from my nose. What I can't get over is the headlights coming back at me. She told the police the car door just opened."
In my mind...
"I met with an accident where a huge bus knocked me riding a cycle. It came from behind, there were no other vehicles to be seen, and I saw what was gonna happen to me. I knew I was gonna die, but luckily, I was thrown to the other side of the road and survived with small injuries. In my mind, I was gonna die and I just could not believe I lived."
In the Water
"I was out swimming with some friends and since I've been swimming my entire life I wasn't worried about swimming far out and diving by myself. So there I was, 150m away from the nearest person, diving in the sea. All of a sudden a sharp pain hits me in the leg and the shock causes me to breathe out. There I am, alone a couple of meters under the surface, thinking 'I'm dead if I don't calm down.'"
"With that in mind I force the pain away and start using the rest of the body to swim up with. I reach the surface and swim to shore. The whole thing lasted just a couple of seconds but it really didn't feel like it at the time. If I hadn't been swimming my whole life I could've easily died that time. Now it wasn't the closest I've been to dying but it felt the closest."
The RiverBless Jason Watkins GIF by Mammoth ScreenGiphy
"I can't swim we were crossing a river I was front passenger seat and and we started taking on water my side quickly filled and my seatbelt wouldn't unbuckle."
Life is precious.
Never take a moment for granted.
Do you have any near-death experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
People Explain Which Obscure Candle Scents They Wish They Could Buy
Whether or not we enjoy cleaning, we can all appreciate a calm and clean environment.
Some of us really like the "extras" of a comfortable home, like cozy blankets and pillows, soft music, and uniquely scented candles.
There are even some candle scents people would love to have in their homes but which are not available at this time.
Wondering what others liked to be surrounded with, Redditor unknownyoyo asked:
"What obscure smell would you buy a candle of?"
"I'd love a candle that actually smells like wood. I love the smell of fresh lumber."
Only '90s Kids Will Understand
"I want a candle that captures the experience of the Scholastic Book Fair."
Emphasis on "Old"
"Ooh! A candle that actually smells like OLD books."
Talk About Swoon-worthy
"Freshly baked bread."
Oscure and Lovely
"The smell of rain on hot pavement."
Good Morning, Indeed
"I wish I could capture that smell of a clear cold morning in a boreal forest in Northeastern Ontario. Crisp, pine, lake, clear, cold, sunshine... it's a whole vibe."
A Reverse Candle, In a Way
"The smell of a candle that's literally JUST been blown out."
The '90s Friday Night Vibes
"I bought a candle that smells like Blockbuster and I love it. It smells like buttered popcorn, carpet, and that smell VHSs had."
The Smell of Rain
"This might just be a UK thing but there's a certain smell on a cloudy day just before the rain hits and you can tell it's about to start. That's a comfortable smell for me."
"Fresh-cut grass in summer is good too."
Or a Whole Line of Cooking Candles
"Melted garlic butter."
When Nostalgia Comes Knocking
"I want a candle that smells like my old dog. It's not the most pleasant smell, but I miss that big id**t."
Pizza Rolls, Anyone?
"The smell of that friend's house you used to go to sleepovers at and spend all night playing LAN PC games together back in 7th grade and his mom bought pizza for you."
Don't Forget Your Racket
"The smell of a freshly opened can of tennis balls."
French Onion Soup
"About a year ago, I made homemade french onion soup for the first time. I spent over an hour caramelizing the onions on the stove."
"I went to the grocery store to get cheese for the recipe. As soon as I got there, three girls stopped me and asked what I was wearing. I don't wear cologne, so didn't know what they were talking about."
"They were sniffing me all over and telling me that I smell amazing. H**l, they started calling other people over to smell me."
"That's when I realized they were smelling the caramelized onions. I was pretty popular that day. If I wasn't already married, I'd make french onion soup every day!"
Three Cheers for Childhood
"That smell right when you open the container of Play-Doh."
Each of these scent ideas brought back comforting feelings and great memories, especially for anyone who grew up in the '90s. To be surrounded by these scents every day at home would create quite the vibe, for sure.
People Reveal The Real Reason Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Partner Or Spouse
Whether we intend for it to be the focus of the relationship or not, one of the defining features of a romantic relationship is its physical interactions.
Anyone who deeply values physical touch might not be able to understand how a relationship could continue if the couple was no longer intimate.
Curious, Redditor cold_h*e asked:
"People who stopped having sex with their partner/husband/wife, what made you stop?"
When Health Gets in the Way
"I was on an antidepressant that shut my libido down. No desire whatsoever, and if we tried, it always ended in my failure. Slowly improved, weaned off it over six months, and things began to get better, all around."
"About that time, my wife began getting sinus headaches. It was subsequently diagnosed as an incurable brain tumor, and she was gone 18 months later. That bout of depression was a walk in the park..."
"Sex hurts her (autoimmune problems)."
"It's been seven years. It turns out I love her more than I thought I could."
"He has a medical problem that means he can't orgasm. Sex always ended with him getting frustrated and upset about it. So it's not worth the stress. I'd rather have him and be celibate than be with anyone else."
"It bothered us at first, but only because we were locked into the idea that married couples need to have a sex life. We went to couples counseling and basically figured out that we love each other and are happy together without sex, so why does it matter what is considered 'normal'?"
"We're a couple of happy little weirdos, and it works for us."
"My wife had morning sickness for about half of every one of her pregnancies. Women are amazing at dealing with all of that. On the plus side, after it subsided, sex was great. Just got better and better until the birth."
"He had more experience than me, and wouldn't listen to me when I said what he was doing didn't feel good. He would tell me he knew what he was doing and to just let him."
"Before my divorce, I got tired of being rejected and having promises made that were never going to be kept."
"I had an accident where someone accidentally fell on my face with their knee and crushed it some years ago (not my partner though)."
"I had some surgeries after that and my face is fine now, but I found myself unable to relax during sex since then. Somehow I am not able to give up control and just let it go while doing physical activities that include two people who are physically close together."
"My mental health has been up and down lately so sex has been a rare occurrence. We had a dry spell that lasted about a year. People underestimate how much mental health can affect a person."
"I got tired of being turned down, so I gave up."
Too Many Responsibilities
"He didn’t support/help or even pull his weight, we rarely went out anywhere, and when we did, I often paid and he’d ask to use my card so it didn’t embarrass him if I was seen to be paying."
"Basically, I was giving more than I was receiving and he cared too much about image over substance. Then he expected me to be up for sex as though I could magically turn myself on like a light switch. He’d walk up to me and grope at me when I was busy. Highly bloody irritating!"
"He also suggested I needed sex therapy when the idea of sleeping with him turned me off altogether. It felt like another chore to add to my already manic list since he didn’t do much to help. Both worked full-time and my job included long travel and entertaining out of hours."
"I felt tired and resentful and no matter how I tried to approach a solution, his response was basically that he doesn’t feel inclined to help as I didn’t put out so he didn’t feel loved enough. It exhausts me just to write that."
"I never cheated just to be clear, I wasn’t getting my kicks elsewhere. I did end it though and my sexual appetite returned with my next partner."
"My ex was verbally and emotionally abusive, and also a drug addict. You can't call me those names and be horrible, and then expect me to be turned on just because you take your pants off. I spent most of my marriage on the couch."
"We haven't been intimate for a long time, but I've decided to stay. We have a kid and yes, it had a lot to do with the decision. I just hope I can take it until my libido dries up."
"The worst part is feeling unattractive. I take pains to make sure she knows she's beautiful, and you'd swear I don't exist unless I beg to be noticed."
"There are times when it's better, but it's always after I've almost left over it."
Changing Over Time
"We started dating when we were 15, we were pretty much the same person as each other. Time went on and we changed as people."
"She stopped working and I gained a bit of weight with stress and being overworked. She stopped being attracted to me and we were just two completely different people from when we first met."
"It ended horribly but I’m now with a lady whom I love very much and we’re getting married later this year."
"I was tired of being called a cow. I was left at home every weekend while he took our only car to his friend's house 2+ hours away. I was exhausted from working four 10-hour days and then spending my three days off doing all the yard work, housework, getting groceries, and then being expected to perform like I wasn't entirely exhausted."
"I lasted two years in that marriage."
Whether it's poor relationship dynamics or health concerns, there are all sorts of reasons why the physical relationship between a couple will change over time. The question ultimately is how important physical intimacy is to both people and how to make sure they both continue to feel fulfilled by the relationship.