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People Divulge The Exact Moment They Realized That Hard Work Doesn't Always Pay Off

People Divulge The Exact Moment They Realized That Hard Work Doesn't Always Pay Off
Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash

There's something very sobering about the moment you realize that it's not necessarily hard work that gets you into the door but connections themselves. It is truly not about what you know but who you know, and this can create significant tension because the lower classes don't have the privilege of making connections (such as through interning) when they have to worry about keeping a roof over their heads.

"Hard work" can also come with consequences: You might be doing a good job only to be slammed with more work because you've developed a reputation as a "work horse," a situation that can easily lead to burn out. (I''ve been there myself.)

After Redditor nannygal3 asked the online community, "When did you realize that hard work doesn't always pay off?" people shared their observations.


"When they reward you..."

When they reward you for getting your work done well by giving you everyone else's work to do.

Pretty much every job I've had.

heynatastic

"Those performance based raises..."

Easily retail. Those performance-based raises are deliberately rigged to not give people the best raises. I only really understood how much when I became a manager and was overruled on how much to give my employees a raise when I gave them a 5/5.

I was told, and I quote, "No one is a 5/5"

She came in whenever we called. Stayed late whenever we needed. Was the epitome of the perfect employee and was well-loved by everyone that shopped there.

They changed her evaluation from a 5/5 which was I believe a 50ish cent raise (still not enough) to a 3/5 which was a 10 cent raise.

She quit a few weeks after I told her and no one we've hired has been half as productive as she was.

Pollia

"I declined the offer..."

Worked this office job for 9 years, ever since I turned 16. They kept giving me responsibilities, never any pay raise beyond the minimum they had to, all the while telling me how I was indispensible. Then Covid hit and they laid off all my coworkers. They told me I could stay, but for less hours than before and definitely no payraise -- just more responsibilities, either working from home or in an empty office. I declined the offer and quit right then and there. Felt pretty cheated though.

AGR712

"Go above and beyond..."

By being taken advantage of repeatedly.

Go above and beyond the expectations in hopes to advance? You now have to do that advanced job with way more work for no pay increase and in less time than the people getting paid more than you.

Don't ever let an employer know you're capable or willing to do significantly more work than anyone else for the same pay. If an opening arises and you have been consistent, you're more likely to get the position than someone who does twice the work you do for the same pay just because you "follow the book" more.

Clorizzle-star

"There wasn't one particular moment..."

There wasn't one particular moment for me, but the saying "It's better to be lucky than good." is oh so true at times. Sure working hard helps, but being at the right place at the right time is often overlooked by those that purely equate hard work with success.

Actuaryba

"My living situation..."

I was working retail overnight and I worked my butt off (partly to keep from getting tired).

My living situation started falling apart and I had nowhere to go if I had to move, so I was very stressed. My "fun" boss who everyone loved came over to ask why I wasn't working as hard as usual.

I told him I was possibly a week from being homeless, and he just kept smiling and repeating the phrase "You're usually my superstar. I need you to be my superstar, buddy."

My hard work wasn't valued at all, this boss only cared that I'd been making him look good by accomplishing so much. No one at the store actually cared about me as a person.

I've told this story here before, but the truth is I never worked hard again. No matter how hard a job tried to pressure me that something absolutely had to be done, I never worked that hard for anyone ever again.

Delica

"When I realized..."

I was probably 16. When I realized we were dirt poor and watched my dad kill himself working 12 hours a day and coming home coughing up black snot, then when he got sick and went to the hospital due to his lungs his company let him go and then fought him on unemployment.

Hamm81

"I've worked..."

I've worked blue-collar jobs my entire life. It's a good way to pay a mortgage and not much more. If by chance I ever find a way to retire, I'll be too broken down physically to enjoy it. There are two Moldovan guys where I work that would be billionaires if hard work made you rich.

Turd-Feguson009

"I graduated college..."

I graduated college in my late 30s after spending a little over a decade in the military and several years before that working s**** entry-level factory and manual labor jobs. Within 5 years of working professionally, where I sit on my @ss in front of a computer, I've easily made way more money than I have my entire life.

PunchBeard

"Nepotism is king..."

At work. It's not about what you know; it's about who you know. Nepotism is king in a work environment and no matter how much hard work you put into a job, if the higher-ups don't like you, don't expect to move up.

MADDOGCA

"I redid a school year's worth of work..."

I redid a school year's worth of work in a few months by doing work packages (basically stapled-together stacks of paper) day in and day out at the new "special" school I was sent to for teens with mental health issues.

The teacher lost all of the work in a flood over the summer break, and graded me on my past school's performance, which was terrible as I was escaping an abuser at the time. He basically had to sit me down and tell me that I had to redo everything if I wanted to advance a grade.

I almost snapped. I was enduring a private medical issue at the time, as well as battling a turbulent home life, and I wasn't going to take it. I just quit school after I turned 16, very soon after (as that's when you legally can). I don't regret it, because that school got shut down and all credentials are basically lost. I have no proof that I quit school and no proof that I graduated (I didn't). I'm free of it. Nobody's going to ask for a diploma, anyways. I went on and educated myself at my own pace, and for my own interests. Ten years later, I don't regret it.

2FingersWhiskey

"I told him..."

Upper management told me that I was overpaid for my position. I told him that I do work for multiple departments and at the same time outperform everyone in my department. He just told me that it was expected that I do what is asked of me. I just told him to have all the other departments stop coming to me and go to others. Didn't work. Still stuck here.

Wickedbooger1

"When I would try to solve..."

When I would try to solve complex problems at work by experimenting and my boss would criticize my work and make me feel embarrassed for trying, rather than give me constructive feedback, encouragement, and a path to move forward. I started hiding my problem-solving from her and would ask coworkers for advice when she couldn't see. Best job I ever quit. I'm now doing almost the same job at a different company for a good chunk more money and a better boss.

loungeroo

"I saved a ton of time..."

The one that always sticks out is this one university course I took. Everyone taking it was told by older students (small fairly tight-knit program) that this prof always has an 80% class average, always. I think the prof might have told us in the first lecture.

Me being okay with an easy 80% grade decided, f--- it I'll have some fun, chill with the lab reports and try to stick some jokes into my lab procedure submissions. We always had to submit our procedures before performing our experiments. Without fail the submissions came back with a -2, such and such missing. I found it hilarious, especially as once my assignment came back with "missing warning for hotplate" written directly under the hotplate warning. I laughed and showed the TA, he laughed, I think he fixed it.


But while I was phoning it in and playing my profs expectations my friends, most of whom were smarter than me and all of whom were determined to do their best in every class, were killing themselves trying to figure out how to get their reports to be perfect or better and to find every possible way to scrape better grades. This was not advanced lab work, it was basic, and they dumped a ton of time, during a rough semester, into beating that damn average.

End of semester rolls around and dirtbag me rides the top of that 80% bell curve, but so did a bunch of smarter people who wouldn't accept a lower grade, and frankly put the time and effort in to deserve better.

I saved a ton of time to put into my other more challenging classes, but I watched a bunch of brilliant dedicated students get devastated every week because some old tenured prof liked their consistent average.

wrkaccount69

"Girlfriend worked super hard..."

Girlfriend worked super hard on writing a research paper on how public health agencies could effectively distribute covid vaccines. Her org decided to nix it when they decided that the governor might not like the message.

OogaBooga

"When I watched..."

When I watched good employee after good employee get fired for petty crap or quit because they couldn't take it anymore while the bad employees who kissed the right asses continued to get promoted and are still working at my company.

Nerdguy

"I've had experience..."

I've had experience working for small businesses and megacorps. Both made me realize the people at the top do the least amount of work, but they get paid the most (because they have the most on the line or whatever) and I'd never be one of them. I couldn't be one of them, because I can't take advantage of people.

leela_la_zu

"I watched this one video..."

I watched this one video on Youtube on how succesfull people are by chance and luck. Not really because of hard work.

NaturalPickle9

"That should have been enough..."

I worked for Walmart. That should have been enough for me to realize trying and being attentive were things to crush. I went into the bathroom to cry my frustrations, only to find other associates doing the same.

iamamonster

"Even after all that..."

When I completed 88 days of rural work for a second work and holiday visa with another group of people.

We had gotten manipulated by an employer who forged paychecks that showed we made a wage of maybe $600-$700 a week, but actually paid us $0. They made us sign a contract that we would work for nothing for the 88-day contract but the paperwork would show payment so they could slip under the government's radar. This was in the middle of the rainforest, so by the time we got there, there wasn't an easy route or way to get back to a city. I got through 3 weeks of that before I convinced the group this was not going to pan out well. The company then went under and expected us to stay within the contract and maintain the business with no management. The owner turned our names into police when we left and voided the contract.


So, we go to an orchard to complete the work thinking all is over. We're manipulated there, underpaid, the paycheck mostly goes to the working hostel. 10 person dorm is $300+ a week. We all complete the work, and I'm the only one who gets the visa. Everyone else is denied because the first business name is flagged. I was there the least amount of time so I reckon I slipped through.

Even after all that and more intense wildness, some people didn't get a visa they rightfully worked for. It destroyed my soul when I watched this happen. All that hard work and sacrifice I watched and participated in was for nothing for some of my friends, and I was just lucky.

Boskermans

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.