Happy Couples Reveal The Stuff Other Couples Should Try At Least Once
Having a vast array of experiences will immediately broaden your horizons.
So of course, naturally, the next step is to include someone else--perhaps someone who loves you, in those experiences. Looking for a little insight, Reddit user Zydrarc stepped up to the message boards to inquire:
Here are some of the best answers.
Take A Step Back
You don't always have to do something with your SO. Occasionally, doing something completely selfless for them. It is a wonderful way to tie your bond a little stronger.
For my husband, who loved tub baths but would rarely give himself the time to take one, I would set it up for him so that he had to use it. I would get our portable Bose speaker and put on his favorite jazz, then I would start the water running very hot as I knew it would be just right by the time he got in. We didn't have the fanciest bathroom, but with some candles (yes I lit candles for my husband) and some fluffy towels stacked close to the tub, it lent the little room some romantic ambiance. I would turn the lights off, have only candle light, his jazz playing at a comfortable volume, and then I would make him a drink he liked. I made up a butterscotch vodka cocktail just for him, just for these rare occasions, and would have it placed on the edge of the tub. In the water, I would put whatever I knew he liked. Usually, it was scented bath soaps. But when he had been laboring hard at work (which was often in his profession), I would put in epsom salts and a scented oil--something masculine like rosemary, mint, or tea tree.
And then, after telling him it was ready, I would leave him absolutely alone in the tub. I would not bother him for at least 45 minutes to an hour, and then only to ask if he wanted another drink, water warmed, candles relit, music changed.
He gave me so many comforts and so many securities and I always tried to to give equally. He was an amazing husband; I always found joy in giving to him those things that I knew he loved but would not do for himself.
Take Life Less Seriously
Here's some my girlfriend and I do. I think we're really dumb together, and I love it:
- Go to an art museum and make up facts about art pieces / paintings together. Just try to make each other laugh at your ridiculous made-up facts. The more boring or crazy the museum (MOMA in NY is good), the better
IKEA date. Role play in each scenario. One of our best dates!
- Draw together. We're both not into museums, but we went and just drew together.
Swaddle your girlfriend with a giant blanket. She LOVED this and actually fell asleep..
- Give each other massages. She loves my back massages.
Shower together. Problem with this is that our shower is kind of small, so she doesn't enjoy it as much.
- Lie on top of each other. She especially likes it when I lie on top of her. She says she likes the weight l o l
Take cliche/corny photos together. We were "inspired" by this image, and we took a photo of us shopping in Trader Joes, her holding my hand, and me holding the Trader Joes bag.
- Go to the animal shelter together and pet some cats! It really helps that we both love animals.
Sometimes I would wrap myself into a burrito/banana, and I would exclaim to her "PEEL ME". And she would reluctantly come over, peel me, and start laughing when she gets rid of her poker face.
In general, just take life less seriously! Make jokes. Make each other laugh. Entertain each other. Life is better with a SO :)
Fire training. It's where you flop down over them (ideally while they are laying in bed) pretending to have passed out due to smoke inhalation, and it's their responsibility to both escape from under you and move you to safety. Ideally performed by yelling "fire training!" and then flopping without any additional warning. Don't explain it ahead of time. Fires don't explain themselves.
It's initially met with much resistance, so a key is to remain motionless and mute. Really commit to the role of someone who has passed out. Get them to realize that the only way they can get up is if they move you themselves, and then they find the motivation.
Bonus: you're safe in the event of a real fire.
This American Life
When on long car rides together, listen to podcasts that teach you something or which discuss some sort of controversial topic. My wife and I will listen to things like Radio Lab, 99% Invisible or This American Life while on long car rides. Quite often we will pause the show to discuss our thoughts on the show's topic. This has led to many great hours of interesting, intelligent conversation between us where we have gotten to learn a lot about each other and the point of view we have on many things in the world. It's a great bonding tool, plus you learn some nifty cool sh-t along the way.
My fiancée like to "steam roll" me when we are laying down. She just rolls over me and pretends she is crushing me. Always makes me smile
The Little Things
I tuck her into bed at night. I have every night for 14 years...it's not just a tuck-in. I climb in, we laugh and talk, I kiss her goodnight and make sure she is snug...
We're both adults yes but it's important to me that she sleeps well and I feel like doing this reminds her that I love her, will always love her, so she can sleep sound...
Trust The Studies
Learn something new together. Whether it be a foreign language, how to make sushi, knit, paint, etc.
Studies show that the feel good chemical is released when you are learning something new and when you learn with someone you subconsciously associate feeling good with that person. So, not only do you learn something new (which is a confidence builder in itself) you bond with your SO on a deeper level.
Two things I've done:
- If you have a truck or know someone who does, blow up an air mattress in the back of it. Load it up with pillows and blankets, grab something nice but easy to eat and drive somewhere random and rural. Lay out under the stars and watch a movie together. Bonus points if you live somewhere cold (me Edmonton AB Canada) and make it so you're defying nature by being warm.
- I took my girlfriend kayaking during a super harvest blood moon (real thing look it up). I bought an Indian food buffet which is not the easiest thing to eat on kayaks. We lined up our kayaks and put a piece of plywood across our laps. This kind of held us together as we drifted around the lake at sunset while eating the spread of wonderful Indian food. Wine was obviously a necessity as well.
Play tabletop games. The amount of couples who both enjoy 'games' but never try any tabletop games outside the usual realm of childhood games that are all terrible astounds me. Even something super quick / simple like love letter can be amazing when it comes to drumming up conversation. It seems like a lot of people think your choices are either monopoly or dungeons and dragons; I can't recommend looking into other options enough! Not only are tabletop games better to talk over than tv/video games, but it makes your house super fun to visit too. Our collection is big enough at this point that we can find a game even non-gamers enjoy easily.
Don't miss out on the cooperative games that you can win/lose together with either, I suggest Pandemic (though it is a tad on the heavier side, especially compared to things like love letter). Carcassonne is easily one of our favorites, the base game is very easily to understand but there are many small expansions that can make the game deeper / keep it interesting. Awesome game for half-playing half-talking as well.
The Things You Do
Conquer a fear together.
For my husband and I we both had a deathly fear of white water rafting.
It brings you closer together, teaches valuable communication skills, and is a memory you can cherish well into your old age.
Watch a documentary, take a class, experience something new, travel.
It's fun while it's happening, and great to talk about later on.
Worm racing - you both lie face down on the ground by the front door, with your hands in your pockets, and race to the other end of the house, on your bellies, like worms.
I'm 41, my wife turns 40 next month, we have a worm race probably once a month when the kids are elsewhere.
Go on a road trip. Road trips are so much fun with the right person, and I think it's also an important relationship milestone. How do you cope when you miss the exit, or you feel sick because he insisted on stopping somewhere that had all you can eat chicken and waffles.
Hide and go seek inside the house with all the lights turned off and loud music. It's fun, active, and after a couple drinks can be quite sexy.
The Couples That Bathe Together, Stay-the Together
Been with my wife for 17 years (dating and married combined) and we make time to shower together everyday. It's our time away from the kids where we get to talk about our day. I wash her body sometimes, she gets me sometimes. It's our way of staying connected. We get weird looks from other couples we know that find out we do this for some reason.
Lava boat. While you're laying in bed together start acting like the bed is getting hot, "Do you feel that?" "Oh my god, thats crazy" "You can't feel that?" And then you climb on top of her to get off/out of the lava and use her as a lava boat. Lay on top of her while you're both prone and try to get completely off the bed. Arms, legs, everything because the bed is lava.
Once you're fully off of the lava, tell her that the bed is lava and she's your lava boat. If she pushes you off act like you're burning until she lets you back on. Boys can be lava boats too, anybody can. All you need is pretend lava. Lava Boat, tell your friends.
Go shopping at 3 a.m. There are a some 24 hour big box stores in our area, and a couple times we've wound up running errands in the wee hours. It's surreal to drive through the dark, empty streets and arrive at a huge fluorescent oasis with no windows that feels exactly the same as it would at noon. You also get to see what other kinds of weirdos are doing their shopping at 3 a.m.
Lay in bed watching a thunderstorm. We live in Phoenix so rain is rare. We do get nice monsoons from time to time and we had the best time talking and watching the rain and lightning.
Have You Seen The Way They Kiss In The Movies?
Have a gimmick date (tunnel of love, drinking from the same milkshake, walk down the beach barefoot holding hands, eating from the same strand of a spaghetti noodle until you kiss, etc.), and make fun of how cliche it is while secretly enjoying every second of it.
Lose weight together. We were fat most our lives and never succeeded in losing the weight on our own. Then I dragged him into my last attempt. We held each other accountable, we kept each other motivated, we researched together, we forced each other to buy new clothes that fit, ect. We each lost 100 pounds. It was awesome. We've been able to keep it off too. I've gained a bit back recently because of hormone replacement therapy, but I'm back on track. It's nothing compared to being back at 250+ pounds and being tired all the time. I'm barely in overweight territory right now. He's keeping me accountable, which I need. We fail a hell of a lot less together.
The Secret Slime Action
My ex and I would play this game where she would pretend she was a slug and she would drag her belly all over me. It was such a stupid and silly thing to do. She called it Slime Time. I don't miss her at all, but I do miss Slime Time... It's super fun. I highly recommend everyone play Slime Time!
If you're both in contact with your families/have nice childhood memories I suggest watching home videos of each other together. Saw my SO in a middle school production of a musical and I've never loved her more. She told me everything she remembered about it and how much fun she had. It was so sweet. It's also a great way to share memories of family members important to you who have passed away, but who you wish you could introduce your SO to.
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
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It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/