Guy's Sister Was Voted "Ugliest Girl" By The Boys In Her Class, And Her Brother Seeks Advice On How To Help
Beat them all!! Sorry not Sorry!
My (15M) sister (17F) was voted ugliest girl of her year and it's crushing her. I need help on how to comfort her. First of all u/GladBus0 is the kind of sibling we all deserve and should be... and he has an issue he needs some guidance on. Listen close....
My (15M) sister (17F) was voted ugliest girl of her year and it’s crushing her. I need help on how to comfort her.
Hi everybody I have an awful problem that I don't know how to deal with.
It began yesterday afternoon when I came home from school and my parents told me that my sister was ill and not to go near her. Lo and behold when I went up to where our rooms are she had locked herself in the bathroom and I heard throwing up noises. Ok I thought hope she gets better soon. The rest of the day I heard her either in her room or in our bathroom, weirdly she was also crying and sobbing a lot which isn't normal for her. But I thought maybe her stomach really hurt or something.
But today in school a girl from my class who has an older sister in my sister's year told me that all the guys from their year (about 50) had made a "hotness ranking" of all the girls in their year (also about 50), from hottest to ugliest. And my sister came in as the No 1 ugliest of all, and according to her sister she had tried to hold it together during class but went home bawling.
The girl from my class then went on to talk to her girl friends about how those guys were aholes, but I felt like I was going to faint. I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me. Also for example when I had my wisdom teeth removed this year she sat in my room for hours while I was lying in bed feeling awful and read books to me doing all the voices (another thing she's awesome at) to make me laugh. Stuff like that.
She didn't go to school today and my parents still think she is ill but I know the truth. I'm home now and she is in her room still randomly bursting into tears. The sound of her crying alone makes me feel dizzy because I haven't heard her cry since we were both little kids. I feel like now it's my turn to be there for her for once but I can't figure out how without making everything worse. If I just knocked at her room door and told her she isn't ugly she would probably think that the entire school knows about the ranking and feel even worse, plus she'd probably feel pathetic about her little brother feeling the need to comfort her. I also don't want to tell our parents, if she wanted them to know she would have told them herself obvs. I feel lost in that I really want to help her feel better again, but I can't figure out how?
My sister was voted ugliest girl of her year and is sick and crying for the second day now. I can't figure out how to comfort her without screwing everything up even more.
Talk it Out....
GiphyGod teenagers can be disgusting. I concur with all the other advice - go talk to her, give her support. Ask her to talk to your parents about it. I'm so sorry. jolie178923-15423435
Open Your Heart....
I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me.
This isn't necessarily relevant to the actual situation, but you should definitely express this to your sister, even if it sounds dorky and awkward. It would mean a lot to her. alittlefallofrain
Idea: if she plans on going away to college write her a letter with this in it. She would LOVE that. sophisti-kitty
Loop it!
Oh my god, your poor sister. I think at this point you've got to tell your parents, because this is bullying.
You're a good brother, but fixing this is a higher-level thing than you're going to be capable of solving. You need to loop your parents in. rainyreminder
Get Therapy...
GiphyI had a similar thing happen 20 years ago: a group of popular kids voted me on to homecoming court only to tell me they wanted a "spectrum" of ugliest to prettiest girls, so I'd be the "ugliest" end. I obviously withdrew from the court (!) But yeah, it has had long-term effects. I don't think about that incident all the time, but I am still working on insecurity.
I have had a lot of therapy, so it doesn't affect my professional life too much (which was my goal; I figured if I'm hideous, I should at least be able to support myself since I would probably be alone / unloveable). I really, really hope OP's sister can get counseling. I honestly think it's helped me a lot. BigShoesScareCat
Don't be cool... be Hot!
When I was in high school a group of guys did a similar thing but someone reported it and the Vice Principle got to the bottom of who made it. It never happened again.
I get that is not the "cool" thing to do, but it is the right thing. This is bullying and objectification. These boys need to learn there is a lot more to women than their looks. Which, btw, are so subjective. Everyone's version of pretty is different, and that may help your sister find some solace. sophisti-kitty
Find her voice!
This happened to me too but with a lot more students. The teachers and staff knew about it but chose to ignore it because it was true and i wasn't a 'cool kid.' My parents said it wasn't a big deal and I CHOSE to not be offended. I turned out fine even if ugly. Maybe the only thing that truly helps is not caring. Help your sister develop real confidence that doesn't depend on anything or anyone else. 2tally2torothrowaway
Just Forget Them!
Yeah, that is ruthless as hell, and needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP by the teachers principles to spare the next child. But, the damage has already been done to OP's sister.
Honestly, the only thing you can really do is be there for your sister. That horrible stuff is something that is not going to be easy for her to get over. It may take a few days for her to want to really do anything, but do whatever you can to be there for her. If she has a hobby or something she enjoys try to keep her engaged in that to keep her mind on positive things.
The only advice I can really give her, and this is coming from someone who has been out of high school for almost 10 years, is to keep your head up and keep working hard. I went to a similarly small-ish school (80 ppl in my class), and was sort of a black sheep. I graduated and moved away and don't really talk to any of them anymore, and I have a great life now. My point is that she's 17 so I assume either Junior/Senior meaning that she's close enough to graduating. Don't let what some idiot classmates say about you destroy your own self image. Push through the last bit of high school. F**k them, show them how successful you can be. It might not be the best advice, but it helped me and that's what I did. I went to college got a degree with engineering while all of them are still living in the same shitty town I left. Sorry for the long rant. fenderc1
Just Tell!
Do you know which boys are responsible or have evidence of this list? If so, alert the school immediately, this is terrible bullying. Tttapir
No, my classmate said it was "all the guys" but I imagine they weren't all equally involved, probably some had the idea and organized everything while others just voted. GladBus0
One day she'll understand...
I know you don't want to betray your sister's trust, but I think this is something that your parents should now about. This is an incredibly terrible thing to be dealing with, and while you're obviously a big support for your sister, this is a situation where adult needs to be involved. Tell your parents everything you know, and I am sure that they will take appropriate actions. This is bullying, and needs to be dealt with severely. As for what you can do, please tell her everything you just mentioned in your post. She may not be ready to hear it now, but I'm sure she will appreciate to hear how much you look up to her. Much love to you and your sister. lilygoatgruff
Call Olivia Benson!
GiphyOP: Tell your sister that you love her, and give her a hug, and ask her what she needs.
When she can, I'd ask her to tell your parents so that they can report it to the school, this is absolutely bullying and those boys need to learn that this type of activity is not tolerated.
Finally, keep an eye on your sister over the next couple months. I could easily see something like this turning into an eating disorder, depression, or some other mental type of illness, and if you know what you're looking for, you can help her get the help she might need from a therapist, counselor, teacher, or friend. _shipwrecks
Discipline Please!
I'm just as disgusted from the boys behavior as everyone else but is it really a good idea, as many here are suggesting, to tell the parents/school and get them disciplined? The only thing I see coming out of this is more retaliation from the boys, we all know word will get around about who told on them and I just see it getting worse for the sister. I mean will discipline stop their behavior? I doubt it.
I'm not saying I have answers, just don't want it to get worse for your sister. ca_work
Let's see the List!
I understand this concern, but the school doesn't have to say how they found out, just that it was reported to them. Any girl on that list, or anyone with a conscience could have told the school administration. No one needs to know who, but it should definitely be dealt with and those responsible should face harsh consequences. I know if I were a teacher or principal at this school I would be furious! This kind of thing scars people for life. BenevolentGodzilla
Keep her Smile...
GiphyThis is what I'd worry about too. From a parent's perspective, that would be the most just and right thing to do, but they don't have to live with the direct possible consequences that could have. Even if it stops the bullying out of fear of punishment, that doesn't stop the gossip that will have another chance to be going around. We all know people get even more snarky when they know someone told on them.
That being said, you should go hang out with your sister! Tell her how you look up to her. I might not even bring up what happened at all, she can probably assume you know. Try to get her to smile and laugh and forget about what happened for a second, it will feel good for her to be distracted from it. You two remind me of me and by brother :) Having a sibling you get along with so well is awesome! marycatherine0715
More than just Looks.....
I would knock on her door and see if she is open to talking. If not leave her alone, but if so then go in and tell her all the things you appreciate about her that you mentioned in your post. She is 17... she is probably crying because they said she was the ugliest girl, but she may also be crying for a more subconscious reason. At that age and being a teen girl, sometimes it's hard to separate how attractive you are and self worth. This incident probably made her feel so, so worthless. Sad but reality. Tell her all the things you appreciate about her as a person. Don't mention her looks. Chances are maybe she's ugly. Ok. The message you want to send, which will really be the thing to fix this, is that her worth comes from who she is, and by your description she sounds awesome. ihearthorticulture
Later this won't Matter!
Tell her to be strong and keep her head up. Its through pain and adversity that we develop into better, more resilient forms of ourselves. She sounds like a very kind person, and that will enrich her adult life in so many more ways then being an attractive girl in high school would have the potential too. At 31 years old, one realization I've come to is that high school concerns become things to laugh about later in life. isaystupidthingssrry
The Late Bloom....
I don't really have any advice on how to deal with the emotional side of that, but hopefully she can take solace in knowing that how you are in highschool/when you are young is not always how you will look. I've known a few girls who were not at all good looking who turned into knockouts in their 20's, things really do change and lots of people are late bloomers. Reddit
I'm Sorries are called for...
This is beyond dorky behavior you must inform the school... it's a type of bullying. These type of things can really change a person. Ring the parents of the kids involved demand an apology hold them to account.
If it goes on their academic record it may stop them getting into a good college offer them the option of a sincere apology or you make sure the rest of their school time isn't fun for them. pickelrick_
Time for Mom and Dad....
I think you should tell you parents. This is bullying and not acceptable. The school should figure out who were the instigators of this sick joke and expel them. Banter should be fine and school is a social place too where children learn what is normal and fun behavior and is time for these assholes to suffer some consequences. monster_peanut
Keep Hugging!
GiphyComfort her dude. She sounds like an awesome person. What a bunch of pricks. You could also bring it up to management. Honestly I'm not sure what I would do if I was your sister besides laugh it off and try not to be hurt. But that's very very very very hard. :/ And usually a lie. It almost always hurts. I'm sorry I hope she feels better. ChocPineapple
Never be Typical!
Oh.. I am so sorry.. 20 years ago I had something similar happen to me in high school. I wish I had a loving younger brother as yourself to help me out.. When I was 15-16 I was told to my face i was ugly daily.. These girls would even greet me that way.. I never told anyone. Never reported it. If you decided to tell your parents, good for you. Your sister will always love you even if she will not be pleased at first that mom and dad know about this. If you decided to help her on your own, good for you. I'm sure Google will help you find beautiful, successful people that were not considered the 'typical' beauty in high school. Keep reminding her why she is the best sister, your best friend and ask her what would she do in your shoes. University is around the corner.. It's a new world... Everything will change for the better. Your sister sounds like a wonderful young lady.. Be strong.. Stand by her.. Your parents should be proud of you. dominikka
Kids are just cruel. Parents... that's a fail. What are your thoughts people?
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
- bearstrugglethunder
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
- YourGlacier
Radiatori
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
- AuthenticVanillaOwl
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
- arcosapphire
Cavatappi
"Cavatappi!!!!"
- floatingvibes
"Best for mac and cheese."
- pacheckyourself
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
- Salt_Blackberry_1903
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
- Sharp_Easy
Cavatelli
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
- dumbf**k
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
- elhooper
Conchiglie
"Conchiglie (shells)."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
- WingerRules
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
- Inconvenient-Pebble9
Rigatoni
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
- AllDressedJalapenos
Cascatelli
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
- PhantomMenaceWasOK
Vesuvio
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
- mriners
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
- jll3523
Quattrotini
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
- banjo215
Fusilli
"Fusilli because it's silly."
- HorrorxHeart
Bucatini
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
- winterORgethen
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
- CalTechie-55
Penne
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
- secretxamy
Orecchiette
"Orecchiette."
- Realistic_Try_6738
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
- BullsOnParadeFloats
Farfalle
"Farfalle."
- Preference-Best
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
- Fracture_98
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
- BlueHeelerChemist
Linguine
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
- feeflet
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
- Odd_Calligrapher_407
Pappardelle
"Pappardelle."
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
- bawjaws2000
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.
One of life's most unfortunate moments is when we feel our lives are genuinely in danger.
These horrific moments can involve the behavior of people with malicious intentions or just being at the wrong place and time.
Even though many people live to share their harrowing stories, the trauma doesn't necessarily go away completely.
But all anyone who's experienced a terrifying ordeal can do to find peace is to count their blessings and be grateful they are survivors.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the scariest incident happened with you?"
These Redditors experienced heart-stopping false alarms.
Wrong Target
"Half a dozen masked men broke into my bedroom, threatened me and my girlfriend, realised they had the wrong house, apologised and left. Edit - I told the full story here a while back."
– The-Go-Kid
Witness At A Shopping Mall
"Similar thing happened to my Aunt. She witnessed an attack at a shopping centre (on going disagreement between 2 well known families) and was threatened. A few days later one of the older family members approached her in her driveway and apologised profusely for the younger persons behaviour and offered her compensation. She was so scared she just said no thanks and he left."
– pokerdotts
Sometimes, you gotta listen to your gut.
Unplanned Detour
"Wife and I took a dark exit towards out neighborhood. Whole backseat full of bags cause we went shopping at the mall. There’s a red light at the intersection once you get off the exit and we pull up to this tinted oldsmobile. They were in the right lane to go straight or turn right and we were in the left lane to turn left."
"Nobody is around, maybe 10 at night. I turn left and look in my rear view and it’s the car that was next to us a bit back. I pull in my driveway and just had a really weird feeling, so I told my wife I’m gonna reverse and drive around the block. She thinks it’s weird as hell, but as we are reversing, this dude is walking towards us from that Oldsmobile parked around the corner. I dip the f**k out and make it look like I was just turning around and drove like a mile away before heading back."
"Just had this gut feeling, man. Who knows what would have happened? But it was scary as f'k, nonetheless."
– One_pop_each
A Tragic Stop
"Friend borrowed dad’s Benz to take wife on anniversary date. He stopped for flowers and was followed home by someone thinking he was wealthy. He was shot dead in his driveway in what turned out to be a gang initiation; you did the right thing."
– busjockey
These Redditors looked down the barrel of a gun...and lived to tell their story.
Fearless
"Was at a train station that was empty and I was sitting down waiting for a train and a man walks over with a bag, opens it and takes out a shotgun and points it at me and I just stare at him, he then says 'you're not scared are you' then puts the shotgun back in the bag then walks out of the train station."
"Actually not sure if that was the scariest or weirdest or if I was even scared."
– XenomorphXx121
The Right Answer
"Reminds me of the time a guy put a gun to my neck and said, 'What would you do if I pull the trigger right now.'"
"I was in a completely apathetic state of mind at that time anyway and said, 'Not much I can do, but I'll haunt you.'"
– lazerchin
These Redditors experienced medical emergencies.
Lucky Patient
"Last week had a heart attack after almost recovering from chemotherapy."
"I asked the nurse if I was going to die and she said I’m in the right place and they will look after me. Then I got more scared then I ever have before"
"I should not have survived but I did."
– Fistandantalus
Urgent Appointment
"The scan came back and we found a mass. We'd like you to come in to talk to the doctor today or tomorrow. You should see if someone can drive for you as you may be upset afterwards"
"Can I come in next week, I have a trip planned?"
"The doctor says you should come in today anytime and we will clear an appointment for you."
"Luckily that doctor kicked a**. 3 years post-surgery. Scans are clean in August and I move into the "only 10% chance of reoccurrence" bracket."
– Meet_the_Meat
Mysterious Illness
"Felt sick, kind of like the flu. Felt completely fine in the morning, but got worse as the day went on. It was the middle of the night and I was up with my husband and our new 6 week old baby. I was pumping breastmilk."
"Next thing I know, I’m waking up to EMTs surrounding me on my bed telling me not to move or sit up. My heart rate was incredibly high and blood pressure incredibly low. They took me to the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with me for a while. They kept asking me what drugs I took. I kept telling them nothing (which is true). I just had a baby, the biggest 'drug' I was taking was Tylenol. They didn’t believe me for a while."
"I couldn’t remember a lot of things at this point. I could barely even remember my own kid’s name. I couldn’t tell them who the president was or what year it was when they asked. It was a weird feeling to have memory missing. Kind of like having lost some puzzle pieces. Talking was also kind of difficult."
"After a BUNCH of tests, turns out I had a UTI so bad that I went into septic shock and my kidneys were shutting down. Didn’t know I had a UTI because I was still healing from childbirth and I am pretty asymptomatic when it comes to UTIs. I don’t feel pain when I get them. Spent a few days in the ICCU. Was extra scary considering my brand new baby was at home and I wasn’t and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it home at all."
"In the end, I thankfully made a full recovery."
"Not as intense as some of these other stories, but please don’t sleep on a UTI guys. Sepsis is no joke."
– mxbear
The last time I truly feared for my life was when I was at a party and a fight between two drunk partygoers turned into a Swiss army knife fight.
I'm not kidding.
A couple of my friends and I jumped off the second floor balcony and got chased in the parking lot.
After some fumbling with the car keys, my buddy managed to get five of us crammed into his car and the perpetrator started pounding on the rear window with his fists and bloodying it up from smashing his knuckles onto the glass.
The police came just in time. Thank you annoyed neighbor who called the cops on us for our blood-curdling screams disturbing the peace.
Perhaps the best thing about our friends is that we can always rely on them.
To help us out, to give us words of comfort and wisdom when we need them, or to just be a willing pair of ears.
Even so, our friends still have a way of surprising us, as well as disappointing us from time to time.
Sometimes they'll do things that just make us groan and roll our eyes but are easily forgiven over time.
Other times, however, they might do or say something which can only be described as "f*cked up."
Potentially putting an effective end to your friendship.
"What is the most f**ked up thing you've seen a friend do?"
Those Poor Cats...
"A guy I worked with was about to take his wife on a trip back to their mutual hometown in another state."
"They had a pair of delightful kittens and they asked me if I would watch them while they were gone."
"I had little experience with cats but these 2 were just wonderfully playful."
"I gave him a call when he got back to arrange returning the kittens but he said they had picked up a non-cat friendly dog on the journey and he would just drop off the kittens in the woods."
"Needless to say, I kept them and they were wonderful furry friends for me and eventually to my wife and kids."
"I still think what would have happened to them if I had not been in the right place at the right time."- PoloGrounder
"I went on holiday for a week and asked my 'best friend' to pop in and feed my cat (he lived a few doors away)."
"When I got back, my cat was laying by the back door of my house, went inside and his bowl was empty, I called him and asked when the last time he fed him, he said 'oh yeah, I forgot'."
"My cat had been outside for a week with no food or water. "
"I haven't spoken to him in 12 years."- Reddit
Always Listen To Your Doctor
"Convinced his girlfriend she was suffering from gluten intolerance instead of schizophrenia, and got her to stop taking medication."- lightningandmadness
But Was It A Point Worth Proving?
"Deliberately get knocked down by a car, in order to prove that when drunk (and we were very drunk), his bones were flexible."
"Fortunately, the car had been slowing to turn."
"There followed a couple of minutes trying to reassure the driver he was ok, whilst calling him an idiot."
"Meanwhile, he was laying flat on his back, maintaining he'd proved his point."- anothercynicaloldgit
It Is Never Attractive To Gloat
"Best friend was excited for me to meet his new gf."
"The whole evening he bragged about how she was still married and he was going to be the reason she got divorced."
"Haven't spoken to him since."
"Did hear she broke up with him and sorted out the issues with her husband."- hmfiddlesworth
Karma Is Pretty Unforgiving...
"Brought my friend to watch my boyfriend practice his drumming."
"She kept spreading her legs wide wearing a skirt with no underwear."
"She slept with him and he left me thinking he would be with her."
"Needless to say she didn’t date him because she already had a boyfriend."- Final_Objective_6204Kar
Shameless
"We were working in an old lady's attic and he kicked the sh*t out of a pipe on purpose then went and told her it needed to be replaced."
"I never worked with him again after that."- FriendlyDifference72
Oh, Honey...
"Brag about a then—boyfriend not leaving her despite constant cheating."
"Then cry when he left her."
"I don’t know either."- Snapesnape716
In With The Wrong Crowd
"They were arguing and he made fun of the friend for being an orphan."
"Tried to stab the other friend cuz his ex was crushing on him."- we_are_ghetto
Not Worth A Second Thought
"Throw McDonald’s fries and burger as hard as he could at a homeless lady asking for food."
"I called him a piece of sh*t and never spoke to him again."- Mundane_Tour_3215
You Don't Mess With Family...
"My best friend had just broken up with my brother—who had moved over a thousand miles and changed jobs to be with her—citing personal differences."
"My brother was devastated, but I tried to respect her decision and be a source of support for both of them, especially because they truly weren’t the best fit."
"But then she shared with me, because she knew that I loved her and would be happy for her so long as she was happy, that she’d been cheating on my brother for the past month and had found her soulmate."
"The depth of my brother’s heartbreak, already immense, was further compounded by the infidelity."
"To my bewilderment, she truly couldn’t understand why I was ending the friendship, seemed so distraught that I would end a years long relationship over something so 'small'."
"And I still can’t comprehend why she thought telling me would result in anything other than a complete door slam."
"Hannah, you still suck."
"And I’m still angry."
"I had also asked her to be the maid of 'honor' in my upcoming wedding."
"Ironic."- bitetime
Some friendships can withstand fundamental differences of opinion.
But no friendship is worth hanging onto when people (and kittens) are physically or emotionally harmed.
When you gotta go, you go.
That should be a mantra for getting rid of the toxic people in our lives.
Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
Some people don't know how to be friends.
They are awfully good at pretending though.
Be vigilant of the signs and red flags.
Toxic people are crafty.
And once you're free, never look back.
Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning Stages
Weekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
Witty-Surround-6541
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
fermat9996
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
Hosscatticus_Dad523
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
__eden_
Bad Behavior
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
KingGuy420
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
wisconsinking
Reasons
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
tabletopsidekick
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
PDXGalMeow
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
PDXGalMeow
Money Issues
Donald Duck Money GIFGiphy"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
BuickAssault
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
Badloss
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of Support
Happy Planning GIFGiphy"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
LeftandLeaving9006
Oh Driver
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
Bullfrog_Little
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
Hoopajoops
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
DontcallmeShirley_82
2063
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
The68Guns
Exhausting
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
LordyIHopeThereIsPie
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
cheeseburgerwaffles
Life Changes
point pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
ConcertTerrible8877
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Miss_mayonnaise
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.