Guy's Sister Was Voted "Ugliest Girl" By The Boys In Her Class, And Her Brother Seeks Advice On How To Help
My (15M) sister (17F) was voted ugliest girl of her year and it's crushing her. I need help on how to comfort her. First of all u/GladBus0 is the kind of sibling we all deserve and should be... and he has an issue he needs some guidance on. Listen close....
My (15M) sister (17F) was voted ugliest girl of her year and it’s crushing her. I need help on how to comfort her.
Hi everybody I have an awful problem that I don't know how to deal with.
It began yesterday afternoon when I came home from school and my parents told me that my sister was ill and not to go near her. Lo and behold when I went up to where our rooms are she had locked herself in the bathroom and I heard throwing up noises. Ok I thought hope she gets better soon. The rest of the day I heard her either in her room or in our bathroom, weirdly she was also crying and sobbing a lot which isn't normal for her. But I thought maybe her stomach really hurt or something.
But today in school a girl from my class who has an older sister in my sister's year told me that all the guys from their year (about 50) had made a "hotness ranking" of all the girls in their year (also about 50), from hottest to ugliest. And my sister came in as the No 1 ugliest of all, and according to her sister she had tried to hold it together during class but went home bawling.
The girl from my class then went on to talk to her girl friends about how those guys were aholes, but I felt like I was going to faint. I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me. Also for example when I had my wisdom teeth removed this year she sat in my room for hours while I was lying in bed feeling awful and read books to me doing all the voices (another thing she's awesome at) to make me laugh. Stuff like that.
She didn't go to school today and my parents still think she is ill but I know the truth. I'm home now and she is in her room still randomly bursting into tears. The sound of her crying alone makes me feel dizzy because I haven't heard her cry since we were both little kids. I feel like now it's my turn to be there for her for once but I can't figure out how without making everything worse. If I just knocked at her room door and told her she isn't ugly she would probably think that the entire school knows about the ranking and feel even worse, plus she'd probably feel pathetic about her little brother feeling the need to comfort her. I also don't want to tell our parents, if she wanted them to know she would have told them herself obvs. I feel lost in that I really want to help her feel better again, but I can't figure out how?
My sister was voted ugliest girl of her year and is sick and crying for the second day now. I can't figure out how to comfort her without screwing everything up even more.
Talk it Out....Giphy
God teenagers can be disgusting. I concur with all the other advice - go talk to her, give her support. Ask her to talk to your parents about it. I'm so sorry. jolie178923-15423435
Open Your Heart....
I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me.
This isn't necessarily relevant to the actual situation, but you should definitely express this to your sister, even if it sounds dorky and awkward. It would mean a lot to her. alittlefallofrain
Idea: if she plans on going away to college write her a letter with this in it. She would LOVE that. sophisti-kitty
Oh my god, your poor sister. I think at this point you've got to tell your parents, because this is bullying.
You're a good brother, but fixing this is a higher-level thing than you're going to be capable of solving. You need to loop your parents in. rainyreminder
I had a similar thing happen 20 years ago: a group of popular kids voted me on to homecoming court only to tell me they wanted a "spectrum" of ugliest to prettiest girls, so I'd be the "ugliest" end. I obviously withdrew from the court (!) But yeah, it has had long-term effects. I don't think about that incident all the time, but I am still working on insecurity.
I have had a lot of therapy, so it doesn't affect my professional life too much (which was my goal; I figured if I'm hideous, I should at least be able to support myself since I would probably be alone / unloveable). I really, really hope OP's sister can get counseling. I honestly think it's helped me a lot. BigShoesScareCat
Don't be cool... be Hot!
When I was in high school a group of guys did a similar thing but someone reported it and the Vice Principle got to the bottom of who made it. It never happened again.
I get that is not the "cool" thing to do, but it is the right thing. This is bullying and objectification. These boys need to learn there is a lot more to women than their looks. Which, btw, are so subjective. Everyone's version of pretty is different, and that may help your sister find some solace. sophisti-kitty
Find her voice!
This happened to me too but with a lot more students. The teachers and staff knew about it but chose to ignore it because it was true and i wasn't a 'cool kid.' My parents said it wasn't a big deal and I CHOSE to not be offended. I turned out fine even if ugly. Maybe the only thing that truly helps is not caring. Help your sister develop real confidence that doesn't depend on anything or anyone else. 2tally2torothrowaway
Just Forget Them!
Yeah, that is ruthless as hell, and needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP by the teachers principles to spare the next child. But, the damage has already been done to OP's sister.
Honestly, the only thing you can really do is be there for your sister. That horrible stuff is something that is not going to be easy for her to get over. It may take a few days for her to want to really do anything, but do whatever you can to be there for her. If she has a hobby or something she enjoys try to keep her engaged in that to keep her mind on positive things.
The only advice I can really give her, and this is coming from someone who has been out of high school for almost 10 years, is to keep your head up and keep working hard. I went to a similarly small-ish school (80 ppl in my class), and was sort of a black sheep. I graduated and moved away and don't really talk to any of them anymore, and I have a great life now. My point is that she's 17 so I assume either Junior/Senior meaning that she's close enough to graduating. Don't let what some idiot classmates say about you destroy your own self image. Push through the last bit of high school. F**k them, show them how successful you can be. It might not be the best advice, but it helped me and that's what I did. I went to college got a degree with engineering while all of them are still living in the same shitty town I left. Sorry for the long rant. fenderc1
Do you know which boys are responsible or have evidence of this list? If so, alert the school immediately, this is terrible bullying. Tttapir
No, my classmate said it was "all the guys" but I imagine they weren't all equally involved, probably some had the idea and organized everything while others just voted. GladBus0
One day she'll understand...
I know you don't want to betray your sister's trust, but I think this is something that your parents should now about. This is an incredibly terrible thing to be dealing with, and while you're obviously a big support for your sister, this is a situation where adult needs to be involved. Tell your parents everything you know, and I am sure that they will take appropriate actions. This is bullying, and needs to be dealt with severely. As for what you can do, please tell her everything you just mentioned in your post. She may not be ready to hear it now, but I'm sure she will appreciate to hear how much you look up to her. Much love to you and your sister. lilygoatgruff
Call Olivia Benson!Giphy
OP: Tell your sister that you love her, and give her a hug, and ask her what she needs.
When she can, I'd ask her to tell your parents so that they can report it to the school, this is absolutely bullying and those boys need to learn that this type of activity is not tolerated.
Finally, keep an eye on your sister over the next couple months. I could easily see something like this turning into an eating disorder, depression, or some other mental type of illness, and if you know what you're looking for, you can help her get the help she might need from a therapist, counselor, teacher, or friend. _shipwrecks
I'm just as disgusted from the boys behavior as everyone else but is it really a good idea, as many here are suggesting, to tell the parents/school and get them disciplined? The only thing I see coming out of this is more retaliation from the boys, we all know word will get around about who told on them and I just see it getting worse for the sister. I mean will discipline stop their behavior? I doubt it.
I'm not saying I have answers, just don't want it to get worse for your sister. ca_work
Let's see the List!
I understand this concern, but the school doesn't have to say how they found out, just that it was reported to them. Any girl on that list, or anyone with a conscience could have told the school administration. No one needs to know who, but it should definitely be dealt with and those responsible should face harsh consequences. I know if I were a teacher or principal at this school I would be furious! This kind of thing scars people for life. BenevolentGodzilla
Keep her Smile...Giphy
This is what I'd worry about too. From a parent's perspective, that would be the most just and right thing to do, but they don't have to live with the direct possible consequences that could have. Even if it stops the bullying out of fear of punishment, that doesn't stop the gossip that will have another chance to be going around. We all know people get even more snarky when they know someone told on them.
That being said, you should go hang out with your sister! Tell her how you look up to her. I might not even bring up what happened at all, she can probably assume you know. Try to get her to smile and laugh and forget about what happened for a second, it will feel good for her to be distracted from it. You two remind me of me and by brother :) Having a sibling you get along with so well is awesome! marycatherine0715
More than just Looks.....
I would knock on her door and see if she is open to talking. If not leave her alone, but if so then go in and tell her all the things you appreciate about her that you mentioned in your post. She is 17... she is probably crying because they said she was the ugliest girl, but she may also be crying for a more subconscious reason. At that age and being a teen girl, sometimes it's hard to separate how attractive you are and self worth. This incident probably made her feel so, so worthless. Sad but reality. Tell her all the things you appreciate about her as a person. Don't mention her looks. Chances are maybe she's ugly. Ok. The message you want to send, which will really be the thing to fix this, is that her worth comes from who she is, and by your description she sounds awesome. ihearthorticulture
Later this won't Matter!
Tell her to be strong and keep her head up. Its through pain and adversity that we develop into better, more resilient forms of ourselves. She sounds like a very kind person, and that will enrich her adult life in so many more ways then being an attractive girl in high school would have the potential too. At 31 years old, one realization I've come to is that high school concerns become things to laugh about later in life. isaystupidthingssrry
The Late Bloom....
I don't really have any advice on how to deal with the emotional side of that, but hopefully she can take solace in knowing that how you are in highschool/when you are young is not always how you will look. I've known a few girls who were not at all good looking who turned into knockouts in their 20's, things really do change and lots of people are late bloomers. Reddit
I'm Sorries are called for...
This is beyond dorky behavior you must inform the school... it's a type of bullying. These type of things can really change a person. Ring the parents of the kids involved demand an apology hold them to account.
If it goes on their academic record it may stop them getting into a good college offer them the option of a sincere apology or you make sure the rest of their school time isn't fun for them. pickelrick_
Time for Mom and Dad....
I think you should tell you parents. This is bullying and not acceptable. The school should figure out who were the instigators of this sick joke and expel them. Banter should be fine and school is a social place too where children learn what is normal and fun behavior and is time for these assholes to suffer some consequences. monster_peanut
Comfort her dude. She sounds like an awesome person. What a bunch of pricks. You could also bring it up to management. Honestly I'm not sure what I would do if I was your sister besides laugh it off and try not to be hurt. But that's very very very very hard. :/ And usually a lie. It almost always hurts. I'm sorry I hope she feels better. ChocPineapple
Never be Typical!
Oh.. I am so sorry.. 20 years ago I had something similar happen to me in high school. I wish I had a loving younger brother as yourself to help me out.. When I was 15-16 I was told to my face i was ugly daily.. These girls would even greet me that way.. I never told anyone. Never reported it. If you decided to tell your parents, good for you. Your sister will always love you even if she will not be pleased at first that mom and dad know about this. If you decided to help her on your own, good for you. I'm sure Google will help you find beautiful, successful people that were not considered the 'typical' beauty in high school. Keep reminding her why she is the best sister, your best friend and ask her what would she do in your shoes. University is around the corner.. It's a new world... Everything will change for the better. Your sister sounds like a wonderful young lady.. Be strong.. Stand by her.. Your parents should be proud of you. dominikka
Kids are just cruel. Parents... that's a fail. What are your thoughts people?
When you're working with kids, you never know what you're going to be dealing with on a daily basis. Are you going to have the delicate sweethearts, opening their hearts to learn?
Or are you going to be dealing with a sinister group of bee wranglers, who have suddenly set up a black market bee ring througout the school?Yes. That's a real thing that happened.
"Teachers of Reddit, what was the worst thing you had to confiscate from a student?"
Something can leave a lasting impact you think about for years after the fact without actually being physically or mentally scarring. Sometimes it just makes you question why you're doing what you're doing.
That's Not How That Works
"I had to confiscate hand sanitizer from a student who decided to drink it to get drunk and threw up EVERYWHERE."
"This actually came up in a chemistry lab. One guy heard sanitizer had alcohol in it and you could see his eyes light up. The teacher had to calmly explain why he'd probably die/get violently sick."
Thank You For Being So Hurtful And So Honest
"My wife is a teacher and one of her first graders brought her 2 hard seltzers because her mom said they’re good after a long day and she deserved them"
"Aww that's pretty sweet actually, even if inappropriate."
Remember that bee story from earlier? This is that time.
These stories are peculiar, odd to say the least, but mostly harmless to those involved. Unless you're a bee.
Black Market Bee Sales?
"When I was in fifth grade there was an active market in live bees."
"Some kids figured out that the weight of the average fifth grader briefly stepping on a bee, in the grass, would stun it for about a minute without actually killing it. They started going out in teams to scout bees on the field, stun them, and carefully scoop them into plastic sandwich bags -- they'd then sell them to other students who'd release them in classrooms to waste class time and scare people."
"You could get honeybees for 25 cents apiece. Bumblebees and yellow jackets cost more. Teachers and school admin started cracking down on this -- teachers literally confiscated live bees in plastic bags from students when found, and they eventually had to start having someone watch the field to catch students in the act."
Take It Off The Stove
"My mom has had stories about what's she's confiscated from lower elementary aged students (K-3). The usual prank items like woopie cushions, sure. But one time a student was playing with this weird box. The box was locked. So she couldn't put it in the confiscated bin. She put it on top of a cabinet. About an hour later, it starts ringing. Furiously. It took some doing to get the box open."
"Turns out, this kid's parent was a professional chef. So the kid had grabbed every timer in the house, set them for the max amount of time, locked the box, brought it to school, and played with it so it would get confiscated and ring loudly. Whole class erupted with laughter and screaming. A true agent of chaos"
"Preschool teacher here. I had to convince a 4 year old that his mom's wedding ring should go into a special box on the front desk instead of on the finger of a six year old girl he had a crush on."
"Later he brought in his dad's car keys, and a bottle opener."
We Found Nemo, Everybody
"The weirdest one was definitely the fish in a vase they found during locker checks. It was in an unassigned locker someone had added a lock to. Inside was a live Betta fish in about as large a vase as you can fit in a locker. Fully decorated. Someone had clipped a little book light to the top of the vase presumably so fish wasn't in the dark all the time. No one claimed to know whose if was or how long it had been there so it lived in the coaches office for at least that year."
Everybody Is Going Nuts
"A dead squirrel."
"I taught preschool at the time."
Kids are dangerous psychos, aren't they? Deep down? We're just meant to think they're innocent so we won't notice they knife they're about to stick in our backs.
Planning A Heist?
"Most dangerous: a knife from an 8th grader."
"Most annoying: different school than above, but a wifi jammer and a USB killing device from an 8th grader."
This Is Why We Shouldn't Give Kids Technology
"Not a teacher, but a bus driver. I had to confiscate a 5th grader's cell phone a few days ago, specifically because he was showing hardcore porn to first graders with it... Lots of phone calls that day..."
"My school banned 1st grade - 5th grade from having phones because the 4th/5th graders would constantly show hardcore porn to the younger kids... I'm starting to see a pattern here"
Ah, That Explains A Lot Of These Stories
"Penis shaped glass pipe with weed still in the balls/bowl. Mom asked if she would be getting it back or if the school was keeping it."
It's not your child, we promise. It's everyone else's kid that's bringing dead squirrels and phone porn to school.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Abduction remains to be a horrific crime that can typically happen to women and children.
Curious to hear from those who lived to tell their distressing stories, Redditor mind_guardian asked:
"For survivors of attempted kidnapping. How did you escape?"
The following Redditor had very close calls.
Spontaneous Escape Plan
"Guy at a club and his mix of friends was insistent about coming back to a party, I politely declined. Didn't think much of it. They got increasingly aggressive about it, to a physical extent, and I left. Walking back home, I realized they were following me in their car."
"Dashed down the road through the mid-path of a packed apartment complex and just started yelling like crazy."
"No one actually responded or poked their head out or maybe they just didn't hear me. But it sparked the escape reflex of the creeps and I hid in a bush until my heart slowed down. Jumped the fence of someone's property -risky in its own right- wandered through a field, avoiding the main roads, and circled back to a side-street to home. Lucky I knew the area better than they did."
Offering A Ride Home
"I don't know sure what this was, but i was riding my bike home alone, cutting through a deserted middle school and high school parking lots during the summer time. A man in a station wagon pulled up and offered me a ride home. I never stopped pedaling, just said no I'm fine."
"He pressed several times saying he could fit my bike in his car, it was no big deal. I kept saying no. He gave up and left. Don't know if it was just a genuinely helpful guy (this was the late 70s or early 80s so it wasn't yet completely extinct practice that strangers might offer each other rides) or a potential kidnapper."
Up In The Treehouse
"My mum was always paranoid someone would kidnap us kids from the yard. We used to play outside while she worked from home, we were 10, 8 and 6 at this time. She paid our neighbours teenage daughter to sit in the yard and watch us. Mostly she just ignored us and read a magazine with her headphones on and Walkman playing, but she was nice to us. I remember thinking this was stupid and mum was right there anyway so why did I 'basically a teenage' need to be babysat lol."
"One day we were all up in our tree house being jerks to our babysitter and unplugging her headset cord while she was trying to nap. A man and woman came into the yard via the side gate. They started talking to my youngest sibling trying to get her to climb down. The babysitter screamed for help but no one came. She ended up throwing the ladder from the treehouse over our back fence into her own yard and made us all climb into her yard with her dog who was going insane at the fence."
"We ended up locked in her house and she called the police. My mum didn't hear any of the commotion from inside the house and she won't speak about it even now that we are all adults. Never complained about my babysitter after that though."
The Creepy Customer
"I don’t remember how old I was, just that I was small enough to fit into the kids seat on a grocery cart. This was the early 90s and my mom had taken me grocery shopping with her. I was sitting in the grocery cart while my mom was focused on picking out produce only a few feet away when an older woman swooped in between us and started pushing the cart away quickly. I recall her smiling at me and trying to make me feel comfortable while also making the 'shh' gesture with her hand."
"I did not feel comfortable and started making enough noise to alert my mom. She ran over and loudly yelled at this stranger that this child was hers. The most chilling part that I still remember was that she didn’t flee the scene and instead made a comment about how cute I was and calmly walked away. Before she disappeared down an aisle she took one last look at me and winked."
People who were actually abducted talked about how they got out of their situation.
The Elderly Hero
"It was the 90s in SE Asia. I wasn’t old enough to go to school yet so my grandma took care of me while my parents were at work. My grandma had a little convenience store and one day 2 men approached her. One was in his 30s and the other was an old short man with white hair. They were carrying those hand weave basket pig cage."
"They asked my grandma if I was for sale. She told them to bugger off. While my grandma was distracted, they snatched me and I was carried away. I was kicking and screaming until they knocked me out. One of the neighbors saw me and alerted my grandma. My grandma rode her bicycle down the main street looking for me. She argued and threatened them to get me back."
"If it wasn’t for my grandma and her stubborn fierceness, I wouldn’t be here. She passed away in 2016. Love you and miss you grandma."
"My wife told me that when she was just a teenager, she got in a cab and the cab driver just abducted her. He didn't take her to her destination, instead he took her to a hotel room. She was really scared but she kind of started playing along a little and pretended that she was interested and into it. Then he lay down on the bed, and she said something like 'Oh, I'm hungry. Can we order a pizza first?' and the cab driver said okay."
"So she picked up the phone, while she was dialing he wasn't paying attention so she disconnected the cable. Then she said, you know, I think the phone is broken. Let me go to the front desk to tell them, and I'll order the pizza while I'm there. So he says, okay sure."
"She went to the front desk and told them what was happening, they called the cops, the cops came and hauled him away."
Fighting For Life
"Was drugged at a small town bar, went to the bartender and asked what drink she had given me. She recited what I had ordered. I told her I asked because I'm not feeling well suddenly and it was like the world was spinning on its head. I sat at my seat because she said she hadn't seen anyone near my table/drink. Cool, whatever."
"It's getting worse and I feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life. I don't really remember what happened but a guy had led me outside and we were getting in a car. I remember hearing 'bracele' and seeing handcuff clink on my tiny a** wrist. My first response was scream, kick, anything. I already felt like vomiting and pooping so in my panic of scream and writhing around (drawing a LOT of attention from a closed car apparently) I stopped for a second and hear 'finally you b*tch' before I vomited all of the back seat, myself, and I threw myself forward to cover him as well."
"At this point I had no control between vomiting and screaming as loud I as could to vomit more, my drugged self was like 'it can't get worse for me' and I literally pulled my pants down and shat as my body saw fit. Guy never left the parking lot because of the commotion I raised."
"I remember hearing people banging on the windows and the guy freaking out, so I started screaming 'help' the best I could. The guy was arrested and charged with attempted kidnapping and drugging me with meth and fet that they found on his person. Blessed be the big man 'mike' who carried my vomit poop cover self to the gym (next to the bar) where they let me shower and change."
The Ultimate Betrayal
"My best friend tricked me into hanging out with her after I moved to another coast to be closer to her. Once I got there she introduced me to her 'friend' then slipped out of the house. When i asked about it he laughed and said 'you really thought she was your friend? She owes me money and you’re her payment. I’ve known about you for months. None of this was coincidental' then proceeded to pull up pics of me and conversations between them two."
"After a lot of initial crying and begging I told him I needed to go to her house to get my stuff and my phone. He told me he would get me all new stuff and I didn’t need it. Why would I go back to her. I immediately told him that he was right. I didn’t wanna go back to her. That he really saved me from her cause what kind of friend would sell me to someone. I told him that he was gonna take care of me and I knew that. I just needed my phone to let my parents know I was okay and wouldn’t see them for a bit or they’d get worried and file a report."
"After much convincing he agreed to let me go to her house around the corner to grab my stuff and come back. I took off running once I got around the corner. Had to take 2 busses and 2 trains to get home. I haven’t had a close friend since."
These Redditors recalled making a run for it before anything bad could happen.
Declining An Invitation
"When I was 8 years old (f) I had just moved to a new house that was directly across the street from the school I would be starting in just a month or two. I would sometimes go to the school and play by myself for a bit. One time I was headed back home when I was approached and surrounded by a group of boys in their early teens. They told me to come hang out at their house. I shook my head and tried to run home but was blocked. The second oldest pulls out a $20 and tells me that I can have it once we get to their house. I think for a moment and decline again but am blocked again from leaving. My heart is racing and I keep looking longingly at my house."
"The boy with the money holds it out to me and says to take it and he'll give me another $20 at the house, it's in his wallet, he forgot it. The oldest chimes in telling me I would be able to buy a LOT of candy with that money. I hesitate, and start to reach my hand out to take the money and then see my chance to run between two of the boys and escape. They yelled and tried to grab me but I made it home."
"I saw some of them on occasion but I always stayed far away and they seemed to have forgotten about me. I later learned that the house they were trying to take me to belonged to a drug addicted mother who was rarely home and her son's just did whatever they wanted."
"I was 12 and some guy was walking towards me after school. He said, 'Hey there kiddo, You remember me, don't you!? Mom told me to take you home!' I thought, 'B*tch, that's the oldest trick in the book!' My parents told me if this ever happened, one thing I could do was run to the nearest adult and yell 'Mom, Mom' or 'Dad, Dad' So that's what I did."
"A teacher was walking into the school and I said, 'Oh Dad, there you are!' The guy got TF outta there. I explained to the teacher why I did what I did. We didn't get his plate number sadly enough."
"It Only Takes A Second"
"When I was very little my dad took my sister and I on a river camping trip for a few days. We got to the little rural town at the end of the river where a buddy left our truck and trailer at the boat launch for us. My sister was old enough to sort of help dad with loading the boat (hold rope so it doesn’t float away while we back up etc) but I was too little to really do much so I started wandering around looking for stuff. I found a dead bumblebee and I really loved bumblebees so I decided to bury it in a little grave to pay respects. I found a patch of flowers near the edge of the boat launch, by the woods. I’m crouched down, completely absorbed by my trying to make a little cross for a headstone out of two twigs and a bit of grass, when suddenly I hear my dad’s deep, booming voice scream."
"He was a good ten yards away from me but it was so loud I could feel it in my chest and I jump and spun around towards him. He is already halfway to me, running. His face looks scary. He looks so mad, so focused, and he’s looking over my shoulder instead of at me. I run over to him, no idea what’s happening but scared that I’d at least get in trouble if I didn’t go over to him right away. He picks me up and puts both me and my sister into the truck to finish loading by himself."
"Apparently a man tried to take me. I never even knew he was there. Dad caught sight of him just as he began lunging towards me and scared him off. I wouldn’t have known until I was already gone if he hadn’t been so aware."
"Watch your kids, it only takes a second."
A Convenient Tool
"I was about 7 at the time, and at that time i thought it was cool to carry a pocket knife, well, one day i was riding my bike, and a man knocked me over covering my mouth, i grabbed my knife and stabbed him in the side and ran inside crying."
Listen To Your Gut
"I was 19 walking to work in the early hours of the morning in winter. I knew someone was following me for a little while and I was just praying I was making it up. Suddenly all the sh*t I have even been taught about self defence came forward. He grabbed me and pulled me."
"There was a moment when I turned to look at him and he laughed and it was at this point I pissed my pants. I was walking as close to the road as I physically could without being on it and I pushed my head down and then threw it back as quickly as I could."
"He fell and I ran in the middle of the road with my armsout screaming. Flagged down to cars. It was a very scary moment in my life and taught me a harsh lesson. Listen to your gut, even if you've done something 100 times if you don't feel safe you're not safe."
These and hundreds of other examples on this Reddit thread reflect the sad reality of the horrors of the crime that still happen to this day.
Hopefully, what the survivors did to flee from their traumatizing situations can be a useful reminder to always stay vigilant, whether it is for yourself or your children.
And when all else fails, always scream and fight for your life before the situation can get any worse.
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Budding chefs know a thing or two about what makes certain dishes taste so good.
Interesting points were brought up when Redditor onegrayhair asked:
"What culinary hill are you willing to die on?"
People shared cooking tips and how some foods should be prepared a certain way.
"Nachos should be built wide not tall."
"I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!"
Jaws Have Limitations
"We need to make burgers wider not taller."
"If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?"
Just Let It Stew
"Homemade chili is almost always better the next day."
"And most soups and stews."
Add Some Zap
"Worcestershire sauce can work magic."
"Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did."
People had plenty to say about rating recipes.
"When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is."
"Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!' At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes."
"Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!' Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?"
Snobbery Is Tasteless
"Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait."
Taste Buds Don't Lie
"If it tastes good it tastes good."
Some questioned others' capabilities in the kitchen while others straight up forbade them from doing something that is unfavorable.
"People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel."
There's A Dress Code
"DON’T WEAR YOUR APRON INTO THE BATHROOM."
"I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb."
"I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station."
"She complained that I 'always call her out on that.'"
"Yeah no sh*t, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups.'
"e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops."
Don't Interrupt The Cook
"Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help."
Not All Salads Are Good For You
"I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad."
I don't consider myself a cook, but I do pat myself on the back for some of the dishes I do know how to make well.
One of those is Japanese curry. And while I can't keep from serving and eating what takes at least an hour-and-a-half to make, I do find that my leftover tastes infinitely better the next day.
I make a HUGE batch of curry sauce so I can continue enjoying it for the next few days. There's something about leaving it in the fridge and heating up portions at a time that really activate the spices.
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Adulthood has been pretty nice, I have to admit. I quite like it. But it isn't always easy and some lessons are more difficult to learn than others.
It's so important to learn how to budget, for instance, because being an adult can get expensive. Between rent, food, utilities, and other odds and ends, you'd be shocked how quickly money flies out the window. Understanding this (and keeping an eye on your finances) pays dividends in the long run.
But that's also assuming things go well or smoothly – unexpected expenses arise and those come with their own consequences.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor FrequentPilot5243 asked the online community,
"What is an adult problem no one prepared you for?"
"All your young life..."
"Lack of purpose. All your young life you are given a purpose of passing exams and learning, then all of a sudden you are thrown into the world and told to find your own meaning."
There is something to be said about how much of childhood was demarcated by time. You lose those markers as an adult and that can be a big shock.
"You can stay up..."
"You can stay up as late as you want. But you shouldn't."
Yep, better not do that on a work day. You'll regret it, trust me.
"I didn't know..."
"I didn't know that other adults have the emotional intelligence of teenagers and it's almost impossible to deal with logically."
Try working customer service sometime. You'll deal with these people all the time. I don't miss those days.
"No one really talks about..."
"Almost all of your friends won't be life long. No one really talks about how common it is to lose touch with people or grow apart. Most of your life will be spent either making new friends while losing old ones or being alone."
This is true and we all go through it. I have already gone through it several times.
"Being able to do..."
"Being able to do so many things because I'm an adult but too tired to do any of them."
It's amazing how much having to work sucks all your time and energy from you.
"You are held to account..."
"You are held to account for bad behaviour for which you are negligent even if you had no intention to cause harm. As a lawyer, I see this all the time. People don't think they're responsible for mistakes. You are."
This is a big lesson to learn and it's probably important to teach young children that they don't get away with their mistakes so easily.
"The intricacies of workplace politics."
This is a big one and can be a big culture shock the first time you start working. Not understanding workplace politics can make your life more complicated than you'd like.
"Figuring out what makes you happy. Everyone keeps trying to get you to do things you're good at, or that makes you money, but never to pursue what you enjoy."
Unfortunately, so many of the things that bring people joy aren't necessarily the things that will make them money, and that really gets to the heart of unjust our system can be.
"I always thought..."
"One adult problem nobody prepared me for is how expensive everything is. I always thought that as an adult I would be able to afford the things I wanted, but it turns out that's not always the case! I've had to learn how to budget and save up for the things I want, and it's been a difficult process."
Learning how to budget properly is a valuable lesson. Those who don't learn it have a hell of a time as adults. It's harder than it looks.
"You may have heard..."
"You may have heard from your older relatives that when you get older, it'll be your turn to take care of them. You never really understand just how much it takes until you're in that position."
As someone who has done it, it was perhaps the most difficult thing i have ever done – and there was little, if any, support. It's a big wake up call.
No one ever said life is easy. Hopefully learning, accepting, and anticipating some of these struggles will make your life easier.
Have some thoughts of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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