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Guys Share Their Funniest 'This Girl Definitely Isn't Into Me' Experience

Getting rejected can hurt, but it's the sort of thing that happens to everyone and you're going to have a much better time in life if you have a sense of humor about it.


One reddit user asked:

Guys, what made you realize, "this girl is definitely not into me"?

and honestly a lot of the responses had people cracking up. There aren't a lot of signals any clearer than faking amnesia or an official "wristband of friendship."

So kick back and have a read and a cringe. And please, if you'e got a hilarious rejection story share it. I mean, I once had a dude move all the way to the other side of the country rather than just tell me he was done. My friends still laugh about how ridiculous that was, but that's a story probably best saved for a whole other article...

Camping And Consequences

We flirted for several weeks, hung out every day, I kept feeling a closer and closer connection but due to circumstances I could not control we were never alone enough together for me to test it. Had some friends plan a camping trip and I invited her and she said yes. I even specifically told her there's gonna be two couples there so we're gonna be in a tent just the two of us, she said yeah she knows.

Get to the trip, we have a few drinks and I ask her if she wants to take a walk with me to look at stars (I get it, it's corny, shut up.) Once we're a little away from everyone I tell her how much I like her and attempt to go in for a kiss.

NOPE: "Sorry...I'm not what you're looking for"

That shattered me; utterly gutted.

We ended up going to a different area that weekend, met another group and I ended up meeting a girl who actually was into me - which made the first girl act wildly jealous and leave.

- chipsconqueso

An Ego 180

I was with 2 guy friends at our mall one time (years ago in jr. High). A small group of girls started following us. So we stopped and waited to see what they would do. Eventually 1 comes over and says that her and her friends think we're cute and can they have our numbers. I remember feeling pretty bad@ss just then - I didn't realize yet that I wasn't included lol.

So one buddy says he has a girlfriend (he did), girl looks at buddy #2 and he gives her his number. She says ok thanks and leaves. Didn't even look at me. Ego did a 180 that day. Lol

- TenGHz

Death

faint fainting GIFGiphy

I told em I had feelings for them they responded with

"I'm dying"

They followed it up with a joke about corona and pretended like I never said anything. Which to be honest hurts more than proper rejection, at least acknowledge it.

- pls-hug-me-im-lonely

If It Aint Broke, Don't Fix It

Gave a girl at work my number on a piece of paper and she handed it right back and said "We talk at work all the time so let's keep doing that"

- Askafishy

Savage!

At least she was clear about it though...

- DrunkenPangolin

That sucks, but gotta give it to her, she ripped off the band-aid fast, no ambiguity in that rejection.

- Ijumpandkick

One Sided

Stopped texting first and realized that she never texted me for three days. It was totally one sided.

- Kaivan189

An actual girlfriend ran this experiment and found that I didn't text her for a week... some people are just sh*t (ie. me). My bf status didn't survive this experiment, but I learned from it.

I was 18, fun loving and carefree, and I've always had a poor grasp of passing time... I had no idea. We lived a 30min drive for her/60min bus for me apart, so it wasn't unusual to go a week without seeing each other. She suspected that she was the one driving the text conversations, and apparently she was absolutely correct.

I was soooo into this girl, and it sucks that I made her think otherwise. I'm 35 now, and we're still friends. I'm very happily married, in no small part due to some post-break up coaching from the first girl on how to be a better human.

- DasWulf23

"Oh..."

My roommate encouraged me to ask this girl out. He said she really liked me.

So I ask her out and set a dinner date. I pick her up and at dinner, she barely responds to me. I ask questions about her major, her family, etc and all I get back are short answers and no follow up. I'm frustrated and she's unhappy and I guess we both look miserable when the waitress tells us that we need to perk up and be happy!

She then asks how long we've been dating. Her face falls when I tell her this is the first date she goes "Oh..." and walks away and doesn't really talk to us again.


After dinner, we were supposed to go to a friend's house who was having a party but I look at her in the car and say "Look, obviously neither one of us had a good time. Instead of going to the party why don't I take you back to your dorm?" She said yeah and that was it.

The waitress really did put her foot in her mouth but it was good for me to hear that "Yes, yes this is a horrible date and it's obvious to other people too. Time to cut your loses and go home."

I went back to my roommate FURIOUS and asked him why he thought she had a crush on me. He said he thought she would catch a crush on me once she got to know me, making me realize he hadn't even talked to her.

Yeah, well she didn't.

- Centris650

The Wristband

She gave me a thin paper wristband she has made which said "the wristband of friendship". Like literally printed on it.

- Naistpreorea

This is the best one by far. Sorry but also thank you. I might have not even been upset 'cause it's just so funny.

- HobKing

I feel like if it got that far for you to realize she wasn't into you then you probably deserve the blunt message at least a little bit since whatever else she tried obviously wasn't working.

- FlyOnDreamWings

Lock Screen

Oh snap. So, last fall I went to class and ran into this really cute girl and I thought "hey, I'm gonna try to talk to her more" and over the next 2 weeks I found 0 openings until we were told to get into groups for a project. Small class, but I wasn't in her group so I asked her if it was cool if I joined her group because they seemed more serious than my other group. (Bunch of losers)

She said yes. So it was me, her best friend and another girl I'd talked to for a bit. We agreed to meet up on Friday at the library. We talked a bit more before then and became friends. She's really touchy so she'd grab my arm, lean on me etc. I thought she was into me. I show up early and she was there alone so we began to talk and she's sooo much like me. Has a weird sense of humor, very smart, and super friendly. She even liked Dragonball. That's the dream!

Then the other two girls arrive and I see her phone and her lock screen is of her best friend. The other girl comments "Aww, your best friends your lock screen?" And she says "nope, my girlfriends my lock screen"

So that really made me realize she totally wasn't interested in me at all.

Funny thing is, we all are still really good friends. We've tried to take classes together and she's helped me out when I had trouble. I accidentally ruined her surprise birthday party, we hung out while we could, she'd buy us lunch, invite us to her place and we really have a good time together. Those 3 girls are the best friends I've made in university.

It's kinda sad but before I went like 6 months without anyone in college saying my name or even talking to me. They weren't mean. They were just not my friends. But I met these girls and I have a friend network, I have a constant study group and she's even helping me lose weight because I couldn't do it on my own.

She wasn't into me but I honestly couldn't care less. I'm way happier now than I was before I met her.

- Finito-94

Amnesia

music video amnesia GIF by VevoGiphy

I have to tell this because it's hilarious and I know for a fact it's true because I witnessed it.

A girl I know was dating a guy who turned out to be married. The wife found out but stayed with the husband. So the guy gets in a car accident and the side chick girl calls to see if he's ok.

The dude tells her he has amnesia and doesn't remember her and he's with his wife now. Homeboy done said he got amnesia to get rid of the side chick!

- saydizzle

Bathroom Breaks

I was in a club and wanted to go to the bathroom. He kept pulling me back into his lap. I tried to explain and he wouldn't listen. So I peed in his lap

- gigila

A Slip

When I accidentally let a fart slip as we got out of the car to her crib and then suddenly had to sleep in the guest room.

- igobydotgatsby

Let Me Stop You Right There

Female colleague at the beer garden: "Awww, cute. But let me stop you right there. You are more like a cute little brother."

She was 28-29, I was 21-22. It didn't hurt as much as I thought/excepted. Still in contact with her.

- genji1234

Thanks Dad

Kinda sorta on topic, but 180 degrees different:

I once lived with this very beautiful woman, and my dad, who hadn't visited much, suddenly started visiting me once a month (flying his plane to the local airport). I thought, great...it's good to get to hang out more. When that relationship ended, suddenly and immediately dad stopped flying there to see me. So...yeah, I found out my dad definitely wasn't into me, just my girlfriend.

- Kurt300

Aging Well

Not a girl, cos gay etc. But heard this guy I worked with had a crush on me, which was awesome cos I always liked him but didn't think I had a chance as I was about 8 years older.

We went on a few dates and got on really well, looked like it was going somewhere until I dropped my age into a conversation and saw the horrified look on his face. Turns out his roommate told him I was MUCH younger than I actually was and from that point on it was pretty clear it was going nowhere.

On the plus side, found out I still look young af 👍

- djcraiglaw

Almost

its happening almost famous GIFGiphy

I asked a girl out to see a movie and she turned up with a female friend. I only had two tickets, and this was a very nice movie theatre so the seats were allocated . I bought another one, but it was now late, so the seat was at the back...and yes, that's the one I sat in.

She called me later and said 'they had tried to find me..' but from my crows nest seat I had seen them leave. They had quickly walked straight to the exit, not even looking back.

I can't see 'Almost Famous' without feeling that same disappointment.

- TruthFlavor

Eye-Snapping Karma

I had never been dumped, I was always the one to end it. So the first time it happened I didn't even realize it.

It was only while clearing an email inbox, running across an old message from someone I had left, recognizing the language—someone else had been saying all the same things to me that I had been saying to this other girl.

...Oh—I am being ghosted! And I'm acting like one of those clingy "psycho" girls I used to date...

...Oh—being ghosted sucks. Those girls were not psycho, I am just a terrible person...

Opened my eyes. Hard. Not just snapping to the fact that the girl I loved did not want to be with me (ouch)

But also that I had done the same thing to so many girls without even realizing (yikes)

So not just hurt, shock, embarrassment but also shame on top; a real seven-layer burrito of trash.

In the long run it made me a better person. When it came time to end things in later relationships, from either direction, I handled it better.

...too bad I didn't realize it before I spiraled and burnt a bunch more bridges... sigh

- levieeleven

Fell Flat

After taking her out to dinner, having a great time, making out with her and slowly our clothes came off and... she was super super dry.

I noticed she had an odd expression on her face. Like you lost a loved one or had your heart broken -and then I realized everything like the end of a SAW movie:

She didn't really get over her ex-fiance who died of cancer a year before.

I knew her for 10 years and I always had a crush on her too! Out of circumstance we just both were always seeing someone else. We were never single at the same time.

I just hated how it fell so flat lol. UGH.

- secondswing

Initiation

Actually initiated the hug for once and she tensed up, recoiled and let out a little yelp. I think about that girl all the time. She was the perfect height for me to rest my chin on her head when I hugged her. I wish I was less awkward back then.

- yabboirabbi24

Addition By Subtraction

When my 60 year old female neighbor and close "friend "of 5 years told me not to come near her after I got the flu shot, but wanted to hang out during the Covid-19 quarantine. She then went after another man.

Addition by subtraction. There were many other quirks like ADD, germophobia, possible bipolar and others - but that was the last straw. Too much baggage for an attractive woman that age which; explains why she was never married.

- mdjake

A Crumb Of A Hint

Uhhh once me and a guy i was friends with kept matching on dating apps, and we would be playful and I would ask him to hang out and he would say he's down. Once I ran into him at a bar and sat with him awhile and he looked at me deeply and said, "You know, I think about you a lot."

And idk he was drunk so I didnt want to make a move when he wasnt sober, but I told him the same and we flirted a little. Then on Instagram i got bold once and called him attractive and flirted, and all he did was "like" the message, so I just stopped. If I cant tell if they return an interest, and if they're not making any obvious indications, why would I even want them?

Part of dating is wanting to feel wanted. I genuinely really liked him for a few years, even before the dating apps. But if someone wants you, you shouldn't feel confused about it. You should have more than a crumb of a hint.

- rosegoldquartz

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People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody

Reddit user bigdawgcat asked: 'What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn’t date somebody?'

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.

Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.

As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.

After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?

When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.

Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.

However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.

Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:

"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"

You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?

"'Anastasia'."

"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"

"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft

"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...

"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117

First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...

"Gladiator."- chewie8291

"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."

"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808

Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Those Costumes Though!

"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers

"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex

Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...

"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin

"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."

"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog

It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...

"History of the world part I."- whopper68

"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"

"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42

Giphy

Good Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...

"Tombstone."

"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"

"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388

"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20

For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...

"Balto?"- rmr236

"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."

"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10

sad shame GIFGiphy

There Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...

"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus

He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23

"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness

Stretching It...

"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc

"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life

heath ledger love GIFGiphy

Some Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...

"'Gangs of New York'."

"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."

"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles

Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...

"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai

"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."

"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill

More Memorable Than The Truth?

"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."

"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."

"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."

"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated

Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.

As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.

If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.


Legs of a Military recruit next to their personal belongings and American flag
Benjamin Faust/Unsplash

Mischievous military recruits in the process of basic training may not always be seriously punished unless they commit a serious crime like stealing.

Instructors punish those in training with an assortment of disciplinary tactics, which can include yelling and "getting dropped"–or being ordered to do push-ups.

Some instructors, however, like to get creative.

Curious to hear about some unique forms of military punishment, Redditor Defiant_Concert_9542t_9542 asked:

"What's the most hilarious punishment you've ever heard of someone receiving in the military, and how did they end up in that absurd situation?"

These recruits were made to be the laughing stock.

"Forgetting The Hat"

"A couple of guys hated wearing their cover (hat), so they kept 'forgetting' to put it on when going outside."

"Sgt made them each 'wear' the other guy's hand as cover for a few days. They looked so ridiculous/miserable walking around holding another man's bald head."

– Scaphismus

Bad Hat

"Had a guy forget to put on his hat when coming outside during basic training. Instructor told him that it wasn't his fault but that it was the hats fault. He made the guy spank the hat and yell 'Bad Hat' over and over. After that he said even though the hat was bad he still needed to let the hat know that he loved him. He then made him caress the hat and tell him that he loves him."

– Kmo78

Importance Of Being On Time

"So this guy was constantly late to everything. Never out of bed on time, never in formation when he was supposed to be, etc."

"The Sargents pulled a clock off the wall, attached a bike chain to it, and make it look like a big a** necklace. (If you were a rap fan back in the day you may know where this is going)"

"They made the dude wear it like a Flava Flav clock chain. They would constantly scream at him 'Flava Flav what time is it?!?'"

"He learned to be on time real quick."

– LeluWater

Things get more creative.

Perfect For The Gullible

"We would tell every new person in our squadron that they had to set up an appointment with 'Captain Dees.' We'd give the person the local number of the Captain D's restaurant. They'd call the number and ask to speak with Captain Dees. It was hilarious every time."

– Kmo78

Ladybug Story

"I once had a ladybug land on my desk during morning inspection. When staff found it. I had to write a 500 word biography of who the bug was etc. and then had to make sure he was there for the rest of the week in good health for every morning inspection that week. Lol"

– withoutwarningwood

How Touching

"Newly promoted to Sergeant me and my buddy got the task of pre barracks inspection prior to our new CSM barracks inspection which was to be after our 1SG barracks inspection. Ya... anyway, the new CSM wanted troops to actually have their rooms decorated and lived in looking which whatever right? So everything is going fine we're still in good with the E4 Mafia so we're given heads up on whose rooms actually need inspected and which we could just skip cause they were squared away. Last room of the evening and it's bare as a prison cell. Troop was using his woobie (poncho liner) as a blanket, no pillows and literally nothing in this room that wasn't issued not a thing in his fridge etc. Come to find out he has been sending all like seriously ALL his money home to his mom to help raise his 4 siblings. Me and the other Sergeant ordered him to come with us to the PX, we got on the horn to our 1SG explained the situation and he met us at the PX with our entire upper NCO chain and the Commander. We forced this kid to buy over 1000 dollars of items/food/tv/etc for his room and all the money was donated by the NCO chain and the Commander. That was a great leadership was very sad to leave that unit. Sorry long winded lol"

– geriatric-sanatore

Free Concert

"We had a guy who could just not get his sh*t together. We all know that troop. Even the easy things were hard, etc etc."

"The cadre found out he was a former opera singer and also fluent in German. So they made him write and sing opera songs about his f**k ups. This was the only thing he was good at."

"Now here’s where this gets hilarious, beyond one dude singing self-deprecating songs in a marching formation. The cadre would bark 'German style!' and he’d seamlessly switch his lyrics to German. They’d yell 'underwater style!' and he’d take his index finger and flip it up and down on his lips as he sang, making the song sound bubbly."

"Not only could the cadre not hold it together, the guys in his company would absolutely lose it. Complete breakdown in military bearing, and no one cared. Other cadre and instructors would come just to listen and they would be in tears laughing."

"I don’t know where you are now homeboy, but thanks for the laughs."

– vmikey

Environmentally Conscious

"Having to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he was wasting."

– International_Set522

"I remember one of the others on my intake being sent over to the nearest tree to deeply apologise for wasting the good oxygen this tree produced and explain to said tree why he was such an utter t*t...."

– The_Burning_Wizard

Lesson to be learned: don't lose or forget things that are essential.

What's The Big ID-a?

"Guy kept losing his ID/leaving it sitting in the computer. Chief 'borrowed' it, took it to one of those one hour print job places, had it blown up to like 3 feet across, cut the picture out, and made the idiot walk around all day holding his enormous ID up with his face in the cut out hole. He stopped misplacing his ID after that."

– HakunaYouTaTas

Don't Lose The Rock

"We had a tradition when you were new to the unit and went on our first summer exercise (National Guard) that you would need to carry a rock around with you. It was an inspectable item so it needed to be with you at all times. You were not to let anyone else have this rock. The trick was if you lost the rock, you'd get another rock chosen by the platoon sergeant."

"One guy had a hard time with the 'Don't give this to anyone else' and kept losing his rock. After the 4th or 5th time, the platoon sergeant gave him what I can only describe as a small Boulder. This kid had to lug that rock around for the next week but he made damn sure not to lose it."

– Lawson470189

The Long Road March

"1995 - At mile 4 of an 12 mile hump (quick water break), my assistant gunner forgot the tripod for the M60. The platoon sergeant made him hug and apologize to every tree along his side of the road for wasting oxygen for the rest of the road march. 8 miles of this and no one could go past him. A road march that should've taken three hours ended up taking 12. There's a lot of trees at Ft. Campbell"

– MrL1970

The road from being a recruit to soldier is a tough but rewarding one in the end.

While some of the punishments and actual training tactics seem insurmountable, they build character, better physical endurance, and resilience.

It may be grueling, but it's all part of the military world.

Are you up for the challenge?

It feels like everything under the sun is expensive these days.

So maybe when we look at price tags, we're just having a little financial PTSD.

Some items and services that were once doable have turned into a years-long savings plan.

Like where do the cable and internet people get these price points?

Especially for their "services."

Please.

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