Men and women have their quirks. So how do some of these lovable traits - like the sea of hair ties in the house, or grabbing his favorite hoodie and never returning it - register with guys? Men, because we're fair here Knowable, your turn to get read happens in the discussion following the list.
Saculu asked guys of Reddit: What are some weird things that almost every girl does but they don't realize?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. Hot sleepers.
Most of the girls I've been with complain about feeling cold all the time but when they are asleep it's like they go into oven self clean mode and I need to scooch away.
Not especially cold during the day, but I regularly wake up absolutely drenched in sweat, with clothes that are visibly wet. Not fun.
14. Clothing thieves.
Stealing my clothes. Every GF/FB ive ever had made off with at least 1 piece of my clothing.
Girls always know how to spot your fav shorts/hoodie/and t-shirt too. I wish they stole the stuff I don't wear...
13. Living in a sea of hair ties.
Touching one thing and suddenly 4 things disappear or leaving hair ties everywhere.
Hair ties have a life expectancy of one day, maybe two max.
12. There's a method to the madness.
When it's picture time they all strike a very specific pose. Usually it's subtle like a hand on the hip or a slight tilt of their head or something but it's automatic and kinda funny to see happen in real time.
The "one leg bent and the other leg straight" pose.
This is definitely hysterical but it isn't without purpose. I started paying attention to some of the things girls do when they take pictures and since I figured some of it out I both take better and appear better in pictures. For anyone interested I'll write what I know.
Some of the things I noticed for being photographed: Forcing out a laugh, even a fake one, makes your smile appear more genuine. The knee pops/squats/hands on hips indicate action of some sort, which makes the photo look a tiny bit less staged, so look like you could plausibly be doing or about to do something instead of waiting for a mugshot. Last, half of whether your smile looks genuine is because of what your eyes are doing, not your mouth, so smile with you eyes.
For taking photos: First, if you are somewhere dark, and using flash, grab someone who is not in the photo and have them shine a phone light down from above on your subjects. It softens the shadows from the flash. Second, if the main light is from behind your subjects, like the sun is behind them, get one of them to hold a phone light at their waist, a little in front. shining up on them. Suddenly you can see their faces AND the scenery.
Side note- Groups of girls (if you know them) love it when you pitch in to make their photo better, it's a really funny reaction. Like 8 girls just going "YAS F*CK YEAH I LOVE YOU" while also trying to cheese for the pic.
11. Back to the being cold thing...
Shower at near-boiling level temperatures.
My bf whenever I'm cold : "happens when women are too far from home"
Insinuating hell. He thinks he is hilarious. Every time.
10. Gotta get in there.
THE JEAN WIGGLE!
Jeans fit the waist but gotta do the wiggle to get them over the hips and booty
I do it to get it over my stomach fat.
I'm not "fat" (like at all) but god damn sometimes newly washed jeans need to stretch a bit before I feel like I'm in muffin top territory.
9. Who doesn't love a bargain?
Complimenting an item of clothing and then being immediately told how cheap it was and where it came from.
We're helping!
When someone says, "I like your dress," I want them to have a chance to get one too. So I say, "Thanks! It was only $20 at Target. And it has pockets!!" [pocket dance]
Or, if it came from a thrift shop, I tell them that. "Thanks! It was only $5 at a thrift shop. You know, the [shop] at [intersection] had a ton of cute dresses last time I went." I know they won't be able to get the same dress, but hopefully they can find something else good.
8. It was already like that.
Moving your things, forgetting they moved your things, then telling you they didn't move your things.
I bought us a second set of tweezers since she kept taking them to her car and leaving them in said car.
There are now currently two pairs of tweezers in her car. Cool.
Please find out how many tweezers your wife can squirrel away in her car, for the science.
7. Refused calories don't count.
Say no, they don't want any food/drink item that you offfered them, then proceed to eat half of yours.
Joey doesn't share food.
I have a good one:
Took a girl to the movies. At the concession stand I ask what she wants. She doesn't want anything. Are you sure? You can get anything you want. No, I don't want anything. Not even a drink, or something? No, I'm fine. So I grab a cherry coke and some buttered popcorn. In the car afterwards she's pissed at me because I drank my drink and ate my popcorn while she sat there and had nothing! And I was a jerk for getting buttered popcorn which she doesn't like.
6. Sorry ladies, it was you.
Try to pretend they didn't just fart.
farts
You: Whats was that?
5. You know you're gonna eat it anyway.
Ranting about a particular food being too salty or sweet or oily, but proceeds to eat it.
Ugh this thing is SO unhealthy. why do these even make this? it should be banned.
Proceeds to eat the entire plate.
My aunt to a tee.
She visited us from overseas a couple of weeks ago and we took her to several restaurants for dinner. Every single meal we had with her, the conversation would go like this -
Mum - The food here is great! I'm really in the mood for (insert dish here)
Aunt - disapproving sniff The menu looks nice, but you can never tell how much butter/oil/salt they're putting into your meal at restaurants. I'll just have a salad.
- Proceeds to eat half of the food off everyone else's plate *
After dinner -
Aunt - That was SO unhealthy. I'll have to fast for three days now, otherwise I'll get so fat!
4. Don't we all?
Making weird serial killer smiley faces when they are texting the person they love.
3. You're sexy, own it.
Buys NEW sexy swimsuit for summer (or motivation to get in shape for summer). Never actually wears the new swimsuit even though it looks totally fine.
2. Cuz it's cute, duh.
Its not weird, but when you mention that a girls clothing has pockets, she often puts her hands in them and does a little dance to show them off. Its cute.
My son's GF wore a prom dress...WITH POCKETS. She pranced around on glittery stiletto heels with hands in pockets, just to prove she could.
1. You know you care, admit it.
Tells their partner they can pick a place to eat then says no to every place they pick.
My wife and I do the 3-2-1 method. One of us picks 3 things, then the other narrows it down to 2, and then then the other makes the final choice. We use it pretty much every day for almost anything you can think of.
I just explained the 3-2-1 method to my wife, and I asked her if she wanted to watch John Wick, 300, or Inglorious Bastards. Her response was "F*ck that bullsh*t."
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a Difference
Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
Discs
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
Discharge
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
Interpretations...
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...
toilet paper help GIFGiphy"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spin
fidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
All Yours...
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
Dial Up
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...
ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
Internet Arguments
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
- Brundleflyftw
"Amen!"
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
- grumpybaldguy
Games
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
- Squanch42069
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
- -helpwanted
GiphyCut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
- PrairieBunny91
"BOOM!"
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
- MuffinTrucker
GiphyExistential Crisis
"Drinking heavily."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
- TheOptimumLemon
"Same."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
- dont_panic21
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
- youngOldMonk
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
- Noggin-a-Floggin
GiphyNothing "General"
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
- sunflakie
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
- jmmorart317
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
- VanillaGorilla
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
- MudIsland
GiphyAsk Yourself
"Facebook."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
- chupalaw
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
- mxnstrs
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
- combativewaifu
GiphyMoving
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
- Hasenpfeffer_
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
- aigheadish
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
- Disastrous_Budget_11
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
- bigelmn8r
GiphyNot The Cool Old Guy
"Tik Tok."
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
- traws06
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
- moothemost
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
- theslother
GiphySince We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
- Foxhound199
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
- independencedaffodil
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
- takeoutthewitch
GiphyWhy Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
- CatReal7672
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
- bluegrassmommy
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
- Zombifi3r
GiphyReal talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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