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There's pretty strong societal pressure that the man is who is supposed to propose in a heterosexual relationship, but sometimes that's not what happens. There are plenty of assertive women who have no problem being the one to bring up the subject of marriage, and the one to propose.


Reddit user u/the_lazy_introvert wanted to know what most guys thought of this situation, so they asked:

"Guys of Reddit, what do you think about being proposed to by your girlfriend instead of the other way around?"

10. 

My girlfriend didn't so much as propose to me but she gave me a family heirloom ring to wear. Her Aunt on her deathbed gave it to her and said to give it to the man of her dreams but it wasn't her husband at the time. 8 years later she gives it to me and explains why and I got all flustered and finally realized how women feel when they get proposed to ..... spun my head

-jamers2016

09.

Pretty good about it I guess because I said yes.

Even better now because 20 years or so later I get to say "hey this was YOUR idea"

-namkname

Yep! 18 years here.

Occasionally I give her a hard time about not having gotten me an engagement ring.

Also, about having woken me up at 3 am to ask me because wondering when I was going to get around to asking her was keeping her awake.

-tarlton

08.

As long as it doesn't come with the cliché "propose in a public space full of people so it makes it extra awkward to say no should the need arise" trope, no problem.

-Kilazur

I've never understood people who propose without having discussed marriage first. My boyfriend and I have discussed marriage for months. It won't be a surprise when he asks me and he already knows I'm going to say yes.

-JakeYashen

07.

No offense to anyone who had this happen to them but I would personally say no. I come from a very traditional family and not that my views are right or anything like that but for me personally proposing to my wife was a huge right of passage. The stress, the commitment to buying a ring, the pressure of the actual day I did... I wouldn't throw that away for anything. It was something I've wanted to do since I was a kid. Proposing to my wife was a huge milestone for me and it was something that meant the world to me. I couldn't imagine her proposing to me and never having felt all of that.

-GarbageBoyJr

06.

Going to go against the norm here and say I wouldn't want it, for two reasons. 1) I've kind of day dreamed about proposals for a long time and the idea of creating this entire treasure hunt or adventure of sorts for someone I really care about seems amazing for me. And 2) I personally don't like surprises too much, and I think a gesture would just be wasted on me. It's always been this way for me for some reason; I love giving gifts on Xmas etc but getting them are far less joyful.

I feel like any relationship where a proposal is coming would be a relationship where both parties are ready for marriage, have discussed it at lengths, and the only real "surprise" is the actual proposal part. I would love to be on the giving end rather than receiving.

-Yoinkie2013

05.

I'd be down with it, although unfortunately there's some ridiculous stigma in society today about stuff like this.

I'd be totally comfortable but a lifetime of answering questions like "Why'd it take you so long that she decided to do it instead?" would get old.

-sexapotamus

If it's any consolation, your wife will be the one getting most of the questions. I proposed to my husband. Half the poeple who find out from me say 'Good for you!' the other half ask 'OMG hy didn't he do it?!?!' 99% of people who find out from him say 'Huh, that's interesting. How did you feel about that?'

-syd-malicious

04.

No problem with it whatsoever.

My last two girlfriends were actually the one to make the first move and I found it extremely refreshing. Not emasculating or bothersome in the slightest.

Guys are so used to having to put themselves out there and repeatedly getting rejected that having roles reversed is honestly a really nice change.

-JohnnyUtah_

03.

First, let's get rid of the idea of "popping the question." It's 2019, there should have been discussions that everyone is on board with the marriage before a partner gets on a knee and "officially" asks.

In that case, the girl asking the guy really should be fine and no big deal.

-ThurnisHailey

Came to say this. A proposal is archaic as f*ck... you're pressuring your partner into making a major life decision by creating a moment of high social pressure, often in a public space. That's not a good way to make a sound decision. It's more coercion than anything. It should never be a "surprise" that someone loves you.

I've been married for 7 years. We never had a "proposal moment." After living together for 4 years we decided that it was time to go ring shopping, set a budget, and went together.

-Rust_Dawg

02.

I'd be cool with it, but that's not what we've talked about. Plus I've ready got a ring and it doesn't fit me.

-somemarine

If you were serious about the ring part, best of luck!

-breakinginferno

Thanks! It'll either go well or I'm being expertly pranked by my GF. Either way, it'll be exciting.

-somemarine

01.

"Oh, god. You didn't get me a ring, did you?"

(I was proposed-to, and no she didn't)

-ColdAndToThePoint

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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