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This is a new age we're living in, where gender norms are being flipped on their heads, upsetting the previously established status quo. No longer are men expected to be alpha males, throwing their weight around with a puffed out chest.

...

Look, we all do it at one point or another and there's an infinite number of reasons why, so let's turn to the internet to hear what they have to say.


Reddit user, u/Tow_The_Line_000, curiously wanted to know:

Men who pee sitting down, when did you start and why?

Suddenly, Mommy And Daddy Aren't The Ones Cleaning

When you are the one cleaning the bathroom, you realize how nasty the floor gets from splashing

CalgaryXTC

Yeah I started when I moved out and I had to clean my own toilet. Also it was never a problem until I grew too tall to not splash.

Blammo25

Wobble Hose

I started because when I was drunk I would sway from side to side and spray everywhere.

My_Dog_Rolls_In_Poo

I came here to say the same. I also learned to just sit facing the wall and straddling the seat when u gotta pee. You get the extra benefit of being able to lay your head down on the tank if you need to.

I did have a girl break up with me because I didn't stand but whatever.

Tation29

100% Accuracy, Every Time

I sit if I have to go in the middle of the night when I'm still groggy. it's just easier.

PB-00

Not only that, but you don't have to turn on the light to aim and blind yourself

cynical_euphemism

Splish, Splash

Once I realized how much splash happens when standing up.

It's nasty.

info_mation

Just look at the floor in a public restroom. It's not entirely because people have sh-t aim, piss splashes and aerosols everywhere

ssshhhhhhhhhhhhh

Drain The Snake

Idk if it's just me but, you know how you always hear "you can never get the last drop out when you pee and it always just leaks out later"? I realized the last drop always came out whenever I got done peeing and then sat down. That doesn't happen to you when you sit when you pee, I'm not a physiologist but my theory is when you stand you bend or kink the lines somehow and it doesn't allow you to get the last drop out. But if you sit it allllll comes out and there's no rebellious drip.

Sitting while peeing is superior and I'm never going back.

auxidane

Seems Like You Didn't Really Have A Choice

Grew up with females, I only learned that you could pee standing at 10 years old

crazychickendude

Get That Little Bit Of Extra Learning In

Started when I was a teen, easier to keep reading the inevitable book I was always carrying around. Now it's a phone, but same principle.

Lrauka

Well, At Least You're Honest

Pure laziness.

Whatsareality

If someone invents a toilet that lets me pee while lying down, I would use it.

Before that, sitting will have to suffice.

mike29tw

A Fork In The Road Of Life

I'm 6'4 the height gives more distance for poor aim or an untimely fork to find a wall.

Just can't chance that sh-t anymore.

tupeeonahamster

EVERYTIME it's forked both streams or even sometimes 3 have completely missed.

amphetuccini

Line Up Your Sights

My mom yelled at me for having sh-t aim

Klearg

"its not a gun TOM, look straight ahead and do IT"

crazy-ish

That Logic Holds Tight

It keeps the toilet clean. No splashed piss on the rim or the floor. I can read for a few mins. If it's dark, I don't have to turn the light on and mess up my sleepiness. If I feel a poo coming, I'm already in battle position. It's designed to sit on. Why deny it?

Sirnando138

In Today's Day And Age, This Must Be The Real Reason

When I'm at work and want to play a game on my phone, these cheeks are hitting that seat until my legs feel like tv static.

ItalicisedScreaming

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Image by salmerf from Pixabay

Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

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