This is a new age we're living in, where gender norms are being flipped on their heads, upsetting the previously established status quo. No longer are men expected to be alpha males, throwing their weight around with a puffed out chest.
...
Look, we all do it at one point or another and there's an infinite number of reasons why, so let's turn to the internet to hear what they have to say.
Reddit user, u/Tow_The_Line_000, curiously wanted to know:
Men who pee sitting down, when did you start and why?
Suddenly, Mommy And Daddy Aren't The Ones Cleaning
When you are the one cleaning the bathroom, you realize how nasty the floor gets from splashing
Yeah I started when I moved out and I had to clean my own toilet. Also it was never a problem until I grew too tall to not splash.
Wobble Hose
I started because when I was drunk I would sway from side to side and spray everywhere.
I came here to say the same. I also learned to just sit facing the wall and straddling the seat when u gotta pee. You get the extra benefit of being able to lay your head down on the tank if you need to.
I did have a girl break up with me because I didn't stand but whatever.
100% Accuracy, Every Time
I sit if I have to go in the middle of the night when I'm still groggy. it's just easier.
Not only that, but you don't have to turn on the light to aim and blind yourself
Splish, Splash
Once I realized how much splash happens when standing up.
It's nasty.
Just look at the floor in a public restroom. It's not entirely because people have sh-t aim, piss splashes and aerosols everywhere
Drain The Snake
Idk if it's just me but, you know how you always hear "you can never get the last drop out when you pee and it always just leaks out later"? I realized the last drop always came out whenever I got done peeing and then sat down. That doesn't happen to you when you sit when you pee, I'm not a physiologist but my theory is when you stand you bend or kink the lines somehow and it doesn't allow you to get the last drop out. But if you sit it allllll comes out and there's no rebellious drip.
Sitting while peeing is superior and I'm never going back.
Seems Like You Didn't Really Have A Choice
Grew up with females, I only learned that you could pee standing at 10 years old
Get That Little Bit Of Extra Learning In
Started when I was a teen, easier to keep reading the inevitable book I was always carrying around. Now it's a phone, but same principle.
Well, At Least You're Honest
Pure laziness.
If someone invents a toilet that lets me pee while lying down, I would use it.
Before that, sitting will have to suffice.
A Fork In The Road Of Life
I'm 6'4 the height gives more distance for poor aim or an untimely fork to find a wall.
Just can't chance that sh-t anymore.
EVERYTIME it's forked both streams or even sometimes 3 have completely missed.
Line Up Your Sights
My mom yelled at me for having sh-t aim
"its not a gun TOM, look straight ahead and do IT"
That Logic Holds Tight
It keeps the toilet clean. No splashed piss on the rim or the floor. I can read for a few mins. If it's dark, I don't have to turn the light on and mess up my sleepiness. If I feel a poo coming, I'm already in battle position. It's designed to sit on. Why deny it?
In Today's Day And Age, This Must Be The Real Reason
When I'm at work and want to play a game on my phone, these cheeks are hitting that seat until my legs feel like tv static.
Going to the doctor or dentist is one of those maintenance tasks that we all have do but which some people are incredibly uncomfortable with.
In an effort to make the experience go more smoothly, some patients will lie about their healthy habits or positive oral care.
But it's more obvious to doctors and dentists that their patient is lying than it might seem.
Redditor KyeLindsay asked:
"Surgeons and Doctors of Reddit, what's the dumbest thing your patients have lied about?"
Self-Sabotage at Its Finest
"A guy comes in, between 17-19 years old for 'pebble hits penis.' Pretty odd. He says he was doing yard work when the tool knocked a Pebble into his penis, he went to check it, and now it was making pus."
"The nurse clarified that he was wearing pants. Denies sexual history. He stands by that he got hit on his penis by a rock through his pants which made him produce pus. He had chlamydia."
"Another guy says he was forced to do meth (or something similar) at a store. Came in because he thought he was dying."
"A fun bonus: a frequent flier comes in for 'his stomach hurting from eating this chili he had' while continuing to eat said chili in the lobby."
- Malice1543
"Oh, that!"
"Woman comes to the emergency room with complaints of vaginal discharge and discomfort. A pelvic exam initially reveals a significant yeast infection, but there appears to be a foreign body in her vagina."
"'Is there something stuck inside?'"
"'No, I don’t know what’s in there…'"
"A speculum examination reveals a very soft mandarin orange, peel still on."
"'Oh, that! We heard it would improve our fertility…'"
"You can’t make this s**t up."
- Drilmagus
The Classic, "No, I Mean Yes."
"'Do you have any medical problems?'"
"'No.'"
"'So no diabetes?'"
"'No diabetes.'"
"'What medications are you taking?'"
"'Metformin. For my diabetes.'"
"I facepalm every time."
- Retinator99
Oh, How Did That Get In There...
"Guy came in for a wound on his lower leg that he said came from a biking accident."
"An X-ray revealed a bullet inside his ankle joint. The wound was from shooting himself by accident while holding a gun. Still don’t know how he didn’t fracture anything."
- Cybariss
But It's Corn!
"Part of my job is dealing with medical records. My favorite part is when you are reading the doctor's notes and you can tell they are fed up with the patient's bulls**t from their tone."
"Like this: 'Patient in for a routine colonoscopy, asked if solids consumed in 24 hours prior, patient confirms no. In the process of the procedure, several dozen kernels of corn are discovered in the colon and cannot continue. Patient specifically instructed not to consume corn beforehand as this happened prior to visit.'"
- YourStolenCharizard
Plot Holes Everywhere
"One dude lied about being paralyzed after a lumbar puncture. I get a call from a nurse that the patient says he can’t move his legs following a lumbar puncture (spinal tap)."
"I called the team that did the procedure and they assured me there was no indication of this sort of injury happening during the procedure but agreed with my plan to get an urgent MRI."
"I go to examine him and the nurse says she thinks he moved one of his feet. Next thing I know he says he can actually move his legs again but they are feeling weird."
"Then this weird feeling turns into intense pain and he asks for intravenous narcotics (Dilaudid). I tell him no because this story makes no sense."
"By god, it was a miracle I tell you when this man walked himself right out of the hospital after I refused the IV narcotics."
"Also, the MRI was normal."
- materiamasta
Absolutely No Alcohol
"Patient: 'I haven’t drunk alcohol in months!'"
"Patient's family: 'It’s true, I’ve been with her the whole time.'"
"Me: 'Ma’am, your alcohol level is 325.'"
"Patient: 'Impossible! I would never lie to you!'"
- jorgeojungle
Against Medical Advice
"One of my favorite things I wrote my first year out of medical school:"
"'Please note patient has stated multiple times that he wants to leave and would leave AMA (against medical advice). He asked multiple times whether he could eat and stated he is hungry. Explained to the patient that we would like to start a full liquid diet first and if he tolerated it well, would transition to regular foods.'"
"'However, the patient ordered Chinese food delivery instead. Then, the patient was complaining of a headache. Was given Tylenol for the headache. The patient stated that this did not help him.'"
"'His sister at bedside went to the nearby pharmacy and bought Goody powder (aspirin). Sister did ask whether she could give him Goody powder. She was told not to give the patient the Goody powder. She supposedly did not.'”
"For context, the patient had a catastrophic GI bleed from taking too much aspirin."
- grantcapps
Quitting or Taking a Break
"'Do you smoke cigarettes?'"
"'No, I quit!'"
"'When did you quit?'"
"'This morning.'"
- BagelAmpersantLox
Just a Little Secret
"I had a lady tell me she had no idea how she got a rash she had on her face. I left the room, gave a report to the MD, and when I walked back in with the doctor, she looked at me and said, 'I didn’t think you’d be coming back in the room.'"
"She then proceeded to confess that she’d been cheating on her husband and thought she had herpes. She did not have herpes."
- Physical_Witness_922
History of Smoking
"A common one is about their smoking. Smoking is an enormous risk factor for fracture nonunion, meaning a fracture that doesn’t heal."
"When I walk into a nonunion patient’s exam room and it smells like a cigar den, I know they smoke."
"But they’ll tell me they don’t right to my face. Before signing them up for revision surgery, I’ll commonly order a urine test for nicotine metabolites. Often it’ll turn out positive and suddenly they have a Surprised Pikachu Face."
- Anthrotekkk
Who's This?
"Their identity. Insurance fraud using a friend's and relative's insurance card. As a resident in a very large east coast hospital, I was tasked to figure things out when the blood bank called and said their blood type changed."
"When confronted with getting the wrong blood that may kill them, they almost always tell the truth. This type of fraud has also resulted in people who have been dead (and autopsied) raising from the dead and 'appearing' in a clinic or ER."
- liberty4u2
Dentures Have Entered the Chat
"My dad neglected to mention he had no teeth... since 1976. We found out in the ICU. In 2022."
- mommagolly
"Wait... did he wear dentures, or did you just not notice that he didn't have any teeth?"
- GhostemaneBlackMage
"Maybe he had a comically large mustache."
- awksaw
"Actually, HE DOES. But he also never mentioned having dentures!"
- mommagolly
Most Recent Snacks
"Medical school student. Not a big deal but a patient lied to me about what she had eaten."
"She was obviously having some problem with her gallbladder. Typically this pain can be caused by greasy food."
"So I asked the patient what she had eaten before she got this pain. The patient said she only ate a salad with very little ranch, that’s it."
"I even explained how greasy food can cause this pain but she’s adamant she only ate a salad."
"Anyways, I report back to my attending and we see her together. The attending asked her what she ate."
"The patient said salad then adds she also ate a burger! It wouldn’t have changed the plan but why lie??"
- fireandblood03
Doctors are always full of interesting medical stories, but the ways in which patients lie is especially fascinating.
If a person is pursuing medical treatment, wouldn't they want to give the information that would help the doctor most accurately treat them?
The word gay, which was often used to describe moments that were joyous or lighthearted and carefree, has evolved considerably.
In modern usage, the word "gay" colloquially refers to homosexual men, but it can also be used in a demeaning way typically drawn from LGBTQ stereotypes of men behaving or appearing in a flamboyant manner.
Curious to hear how strangers online experienced how the word was used, Redditor Infrared-masochism asked:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve been told not to do because it’s 'Gay?'"
Interests in certain hobbies are apparently a dead giveaway of queerness.
Oh, Snap!
"I took up photography a few years back and my friends asked me to photograph their wedding. I did it and even made them a slideshow with nice music because I wanted to try it out. I showed it to them and my buddy said it was gay. He called his own wedding photos gay."
– livinalieontimna
Repeat Offender
"A few things I've been called gay for doing:
- Reading
- Using an umbrella
- Wearing a sweater
- Not knowing how to play any songs by Stevie Ray Vaughn on the guitar at age 15
- Yawning
- 'Wearing a shirt with another man's name on it' (it was a hockey jersey with a player's name on it and I was 12)
Just to name a few off the top of my head!"
– PoisonLenny37
Way With Words
"The funny (not funny) thing too was it was when I was in grade 4 and it was the student teacher who said it. We did an annual trip to a water park in June every year before the end of the school year. I had a broken arm that year so on the way out to the bus I ran back to the room and grabbed a book and as I was walking out he was like 'a book? You're gonna spend the day READING?' and I was like 'well, broken arm, ya know?' And he was like 'pretty gay, dude, pretty gay!'"
– PoisonLenny37
With A Dreamy Far Off Look...
"I didn't know my Dad was your teacher, holy sh*t. Well at least you got it lucky, as someone who still carries around a book with him to this very day, Dad used to call me a gay for reading just about everywhere all the time. 'you're so busy with your face in a book all the time. I'm so disappointed in you, Son. I brought extra condoms down with me because I thought you'd be a chip off the old block taking virginity." - My Dad on the common area at the hotel we were staying at on vacation when I was 13 years old."
– byehavefun
Kitchen Kween
"Cooking. Umm, I have to feed myself and I’d prefer fresh, nutritious meals that don’t require unhealthy takeaway and cost a fortune."
– bruh_wut69
Observing these normal types of behavior had skeptics convinced of their suspicions.
Squeaky Clean
"My Dad used to tell my brothers not to wash thier hair so much.or they would 'turn gay'."
– ineedatinylama
"Real men can fry a steak with the grease in their hair 👌"
– LionToTheSlaughter99
Cat Gender
"I was taken aside by my deeply concerned and shocked friend and was told 'you know that’s a MALE cat you’re stroking?' I was astonished."
– jim_jiminy
The Stigma Of Kindness
"Being kind to others."
"Excuse me, wasn't aware that I had to burp and fart right in your face to state that I'm a straight guy."
– Lumbertech
"I've heard this one many times. Apparently basic human decency is in such short supply these days that the idea that it could come from a straight person is inconceivable."
– thequietthingsthat
Ear Candy
"Literally just happened about 5 minutes ago. Listening to music at work, Cindy Lauper's 'Time After Time' came on. Co-worker walked by and informed me how gay I looked sitting at my desk listening to that song."
– Bypolur
There is a straight way and a gay way to examine your body parts.
Not-So-Cute Cuticle Check
"Apparently I passed a straight guy test (back in the 90s) when I looked at my nails palm up with my fingers curled in vs palm down with my fingers out straight."
– Humble_Nobody2884
"Had a friend who said he had weird bumps coming up on his skin so i suggested he go to the dermatologist. He said only women do that. Alright man, good luck…"
– mrboondoggle
In elementary school, a couple of my classmates asked me to check my shoe because I stepped on gum.
I bent my right leg behind me and looked over my shoulder to inspect the sole of my shoe, which turned out to be devoid of any of the suspected gooey substance.
The two yahoos howled hysterically and said the way I checked my shoe was soooo gay, and that therefore, I must be."
Apparently, straight dudes would inspect the bottom of the shoe by lifting their feet up in front of them and inverting their ankles upward.
Gee... how did they know?
It can be shocking, almost repulsive, to look through history books and read the things which were actually laws at one point in time.
These include bizarre ones, like a national speed limit of 55 miles per hour due to an oil shortage, as well as historically inhumane laws, such as segregation and slavery.
Thankfully, many of these horrifying and/or bizarre laws have been repealed.
But if one were to look closely at laws around the world, there are still a number of ludicrous and terrifying laws which remain in effect.
That many people might even, rather ironically, think should be illegal.
"If you could remove a law, which one would get the boot?"
They're Always Watching
"Digital security act (2018)."
"It's a law by the government of Bangladesh, which can let anyone file a case against you, if you speak against the government online."
"There are multiple cases where someone criticized the government, and they have been put in prison because of this law."
"It basically hurts the freedom of speech of Bangladeshi citizens."
"Even though there have been voices raised to demolish this law, the autocratic government doesn't care at all."- ArianThehunter
The US Government, In A Nutshell...
"The ones that allowed politicians to accept funds from corporations."- No_Commercial5671
Lobbying For The People GIF by Creative CourageGiphyDrugs Is Too Broad A Term
"Psilocybin, LSD, and marijuana being considered Schedule 1 drugs (at least in the US)."
"Wild to me that drugs like Xanax, Oxy, some other strong prescription drugs, cocaine, and f*cking meth are all considered 'less dangerous' than drugs that have a much lower death toll and have been shown to be more beneficial in various different treatments and trials."- localstreetcat
Some Of The Most Annoying Laws Aren't Even Enforced...
"Murphys law."- Zert420
No One, NO ONE, Should Be Above The Law
"Any law about immunity for politicians."- iOliverSup
Richard Nixon Corruption GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphyAren't Politicians Supposed To Be Working For Us?
"The one that allows politicians to raise their own salary as long as at least 51% of them vote in favor."
"A few years ago they increased minimum wage by 3.5% then proceeded to increase their own salary by 40% and add 2 new benefits."- vksdann
So, Pretty Much All Laws Benefitting Politicians
"The one that protects individual politicians against the effects of what they did in office."- Silent-Revolution105
Which Citizens, And How Exactly Are They "United"?
"Citizens United."- Lilysils
Amy Klobuchar GIFGiphyMore Like Profiling Act
"Patriot Act."
"And whatever laws that allow for government surveillance besides Patriot Act."
"My dank memes on Reddit and search history is none of the business of the FBI who think using the word 'based' is grounds for a terrorist investigation."- Realtor_3605
"All the anti-terrorist laws that took our privacy's without anyone giving sh*t."- Brilliant_Salad_1345
Not Exactly "Small Government" If You Think About It?
"Where the government can take your stuff."- rtxpurelife2
Robin Hood Disney GIFGiphyBring On The Public Domain
"Every copyright extension from the original (around 20 years)."- reyseven
Um... Do You Really Need Either?
"I would say the meaningless illegality of stuff like nunchucks, balisongs, etc.:
:Why can I buy a military knife made for killing people but I can't buy a knife which uses springs to open?"- racistinfrastrukture·
Clearly Not From A "Stand Your Ground" State...
"The one where you're not allowed to defend yourself if someone breaks into your home with the intent of stealing from you (in my country)."- lycos94
It doesn't take very long at all for certain laws to become outdated.
Making it all the more infuriating that these laws remain in effect.
Particularly when they likely shouldn't even have been made laws in the first place.
Barring identical twins, no two bodies are the same.
Indeed, some people are born with rare or unusual elements to their bodies which very few, if any, other people also share.
While some people will go to great lengths to cover these up, or make them less conspicuous, others wear their unique elements with pride.
There are also people whose bodily oddity isn't visible, but instead have a unique genetic makeup, substantially affecting their daily routine for better or worse.
"What's unusual about your body?"
Shimmering Silver Hair
"My hair started losing its color when I was 10 years old."
"I used to be brunette."
"My hair has been completely silver and white since my 20s."- ConcernedApath3
gone with the wind waiting GIF by CRPTC CHILDGiphyMechanical Heart
"My heart is bionic at this point."
"I’ve had 4 open heart surgeries, aorta and mitral valves are now titanium."
"It makes a ticking noise like a clock."
"I’m only 30."
"Hopefully I live longer."- Tired-humanoid
Misplaced Anatomy
"When I was born, none of my organs were in the places they should be."
"Had 5 surgeries after birth to get everything moved around, and put to right places."
"Luckily, no issues since."- iMissTheOldKimye
"My internal organs are all flipped 180 degrees."
"So everything's backwards."
"Situs inversus totalis."
"Sorry I should've clarified better."
"Not flipped in place but completely mirrored."
"So organs are on opposite sides as well."- tr1ppymayyyyne
Saves You Trouble On Lint...
"Two of my toes on each foot are webbed halfway."
"The index(?) and middle toe, each side."
"Nothing else."
"I can’t swim any faster which I personally think is bullsh*t."- dirtyethanol73·
Sometimes One Is Enough
"I was born with 1 Kidney."
"But my 1 Kidney is the size of 2 combined."
"So I have 1 super kidney."- Jay12678
Switch and Swap
"I have a rare condition in which my large intestine is smashed over to one side of my torso and my small intestines are smashed over to the other side."
"The only reason we discovered it is that one day, they decided to physically switch places causing extreme pain."
"They have switched places a total of four times in my life."
"It's really painful and kinda gross hearing your goopy bits flop around inside of you."- jtolb65
Animation Eating GIF by FOUGiphyBetter Than A Growling Tummy...
"I sneeze when really hungry."- Scrum_Bucket
How Long Have You Got?
"Well, I am an achondroplastic dwarf, so lets see…"
"I’m 4’0” tall at 29 years old (male), I have disproportionately short limbs compared to my torso."
"I can barely put my hands in my trouser pockets because they are so short."
"I also need to get all my trousers cropped."
"3/4 length trousers can also work as full length for me."
"I have what is called 'trident hand configuration'."
"Basically my hands naturally split into the vulcan hand sign (like three prongs)."
"It’s a common way to identify achondroplasia in the womb and how I was diagnosed."
"I did have bowed legs."
"I needed to have my legs broken and straightened when I was a kid."
"That was fun."
"Can’t fully straighten my arms."
"Even when fully extended, they are slightly bent."
"Also can’t raise them much beyond my shoulder."
"Super handy when you’re 4 f*cking feet tall and everything is out of reach."
"Absolutely stellar."
"I have mono-lids despite being a white af Scottish guy in a family with no mono-lids."
"That and frontal bossing and a depressed nasal bridge is the package 'dwarf face' deal when it comes to achondroplasia."
"Guarantees that you’ll always get random strangers approaching you going 'aren’t you that guy from time bandits?'"
" Despite the fact that you were born in 1994."
"There’s more stuff but I could be here all day."
"Just to be clear - these are all symptoms of my dwarfism."
"It’s not like I’ve been super unlucky and got a bunch of unrelated conditions."
"Just one mutation can cause all this."
"The body is great isn’t it?"- Usidore_
They Have An Understandable Attachment
"When I was born my umbilical cord was inside out and it was the first time the hospital I was born at had ever seen anything like it."
"So they asked my mum if it could be sent to a nearby university to be shown to students in order to show them what the inside of one looks like in real life."
"I am going to that exact university next year and will be on a quest to take back my umbilical cord."
"Provided it's not been thrown away, idk how long they last." - Reddit
homer simpson panic GIFGiphyExplains Why They're Always Buying New Towels
"My sweat is extra acidic."
"I can fully rust guitar strings in a week or 2, and have eaten holes on 2 laptops where I rest my hands, both happened within a year of use."- MoofieFoofer·
Chronic Moisture
"I sweat too much."
"If my shower is too warm, I start sweating and once I towel off I'm just wet from sweating for hours."
"My wife complains about my cold shower water but it's how I don't completely render the shower pointless."- CubicalWombatPoops
One Hole Too Many
"Small hole at the base of my spine just before my a** hole."
"To clarify I’m not talking about the actual a**hole itself, I’m talking about a small hole an inch above it."
"It’s not a cyst I was born with it."- Happy-Watercress3232
GiphyWe can't choose the body we're given.
It is a shame that some of these unique traits result in people having added visits to the doctor, or an increased need for medicine.
But whether they're proud or ashamed of their bodily abnormality, they at least know they will always have a conversation starter which will instantly grab everyone's attention.