Guy's Masculine BF Slams Him For Wearing Makeup And The Internet Won't Stand For It
Gender identity and sexual politics can be difficult to navigate, but in this day and age they don't hold up as excuses to negate each other.
Gay couple, boyfriend [26M] doesn’t like me [24M] wearing make-up
Let me start off by saying, I've always been a feminine guy. Growing up, I hung out almost exclusively with girls because I liked their games, toys and just the way of playing a lot better. I was raised in an atheist household and wasn't burdened with homophobia coming from my family, but I was bullied extensively at school because of my appearance and interests. I am naturally extroverted but this experience made me withdrawn and awkward, I even developed selective mutism in middle school and became extremely self-conscious. To avoid being teased, I'd go to great lengths to mask my natural tone of voice and mannerism so I could blend in with the crowd more easily.
It was only when I left my hometown for college that I was able to live more authentically. I studied art history and our department was full of queer and gender non-conforming people. No one cared about the way you presented yourself, in fact, I felt encouraged to be myself. I decided to embrace everything that others wanted me to feel ashamed about: my sexuality, interests, looks, voice, etc. At this time, I started experimenting with wearing make-up and nail polish because I loved watching YouTube tutorials on this topic and I always used to do it for my friends but I was too intimidated to try it on myself. I decided I really liked the way it made me feel – I could hide pimples or bumps on a bad skin day, bring out my eyes with mascara and eyeliner or shape my eyebrows. I don't do it on a daily basis, mostly for special occasions, nights out, or when I just want to boost up my confidence.
Before getting together with my current boyfriend, I was in a four-year relationship with another guy my age who was more of a typical man's man than I am but he was always supportive of my interests and didn't care that I was feminine. This is why I didn't feel like "I like to wear make-up here and there" was something I would have to negotiate in a relationship. But my boyfriend of six months now, who is pretty outwardly masculine, was kind of shocked the first time I told him I wanted to put on mascara and eye-shadow before going out dancing. He didn't stop me from doing it but I could tell that he was uncomfortable while we were out. We had a talk about it when we came home and he couldn't understand why I would ever want to wear make-up as a guy. I explained to him that it makes me feel good and confident but from what I understood, in his mind, he equated this to drag and crossdressing and thought I might want to be a woman. He comes from a more traditional household and works in construction so he's never really had contact with queer (other than gay) people like I have during my studies. I told him I couldn't go back to hiding who I was, not even for him, and he promised to try and learn more about gender non-conformity and work towards accepting this part of me.
The problem is he hasn't fulfilled that promise. We got into a pretty bad fight recently because I wanted to wear make-up when we attended his (female) friend's bachelorette party. All of the girls agreed to wear red lipstick as an inside joke and they asked me if I wanted to join in too, since they knew I might be interested. I agreed and my boyfriend was out of his mind when he found out. He said I was embarrassing him on purpose and that everyone would think we were a joke. I pointed out that people who thought gay couples were a joke would continue to think so regardless of the make-up and that wasn't our problem but I could tell he was still mad and thought I didn't take his concerns seriously.
In the end, I compromised and passed on the lipstick for that evening and although we still had a good time, I actually hate that I did that. I feel like I'm being pushed back into the closet by my own boyfriend, who's supposed to be the one person to support me even when no one else does. I love him, but I can never be that kid I was in school again. I understand his bringing-up was different and that he also feels the pressure to conform as a gay man but I don't think it's our job to change in order to accommodate others. I just don't know how I can make him understand my point of view.
TL;DR I'm a feminine gay man who sometimes wears make-up. My current boyfriend is more masculine and traditional and he can't come to terms with this part of me. I'm feeling divided between his wish to conform with social expectations and my identity and I'm not sure how to proceed.
Here was some of the advice he got.
One
I think it's still early in the relationship, and though he's off to a bad start on keeping his word, you need to call him out on this and let him know he's not doing what he said he would do.
I highly, highly doubt those girls asked you if you wanted to wear lipstick to make fun of you. Idk if you know, but a lot of girls love gay guys. They wanted to make you feel included.
But if you continue to see him making little to no effort to accept you, then you may have no choice but to leave him.
Two
You need to be you. I don't think this is the right guy for you. I'd hate to see someone inching back into the closet for their partner. It really sucks that he didn't let you take part of the red lipstick thing at the party. It sounds like everyone else wanted to include you and you wanted to do it and he stopped that for you.
Three
That wasn't a compromise. A compromise is where you meet in the middle. This was both of you wanting conflicting things, and you not getting the thing you wanted and him getting the thing he did. I'm not saying he's an awful person, but he's going to have to learn to accept this part of you if he wants to date you, because otherwise the 'compromise' looks like it'll be you making yourself smaller and sadder for someone else, and receiving nothing you shouldn't be receiving as part of a relationship anyway.
Four
How does he react if you wear some make up at home?
He might be having trouble because he feels he needs to conform. Plenty of people feel that, even the most straight, cis, gender-conforming people. As a species we tend towards conforming in like groups.
If you feel like he is trying to make an effort, I'd suggest you occasionally use make up at home to get him used to it. If you only wear it to occasions, and he's focused on fitting in (as he perceives it), it could be driving some of his reaction.
If he's stuck on his "guys don't wear make up", you two are just not compatible.
Five
I don't understand the problem...
Your bf has already said he is uncomfortable with parts if you, and is only happy when you're not being you.
He understands perfectly fine, he just doesn't like it.
Wear the make up wherever you want. If he has issues, then they are HIS issues. Not yours.
You are right, a partner should support you being you.
He should... or find someone that does.
It really is that simple.
Six
While he's allowed to want to date someone that won't wear makeup, its not his place to control you and your self expression over his discomfort - not when he had, and still has, the opportunity to break up if it's a dealbreaker for him.
Saying he's willing to put more effort into learning about gender nonconformity, etc, is useless when he wont actually do so. unless he is willing to love you for who you are, a relationship like this just doesn't sound healthy to me, especially when it comes to something harmless, and especially when you've already spent a lot of your life having to suppress who you are.
(I'm a mostly closeted lesbian, i get how shitty it is to feel like you have to hide parts of yourself just to feel accepted. you deserve better than to have to go back to that.) You deserve someone that loves every part of you, or at least someone who wont be a jerk about it. he cant even refrain from doing that.
Especially the fact that he seems to think you're doing this to embarrass him seems like a lack of good faith - i would want the person I'm dating to take my word for it if i told them its for self expression.
I know this sub jumps to the whole breaking up thing a lot, and i don't know how often you've discussed this with him besides the conversations you've mentioned, so it would probably be good to sit down with him again to share your perspective on things and let him share yours. but if he cant get over the fact that this is part of who you are, then sadly you might both be better off separated. whatever the result may be, i do hope things work out for the best!
Seven
I'm not gay or LGBT+ in any way so my opinion probably won't count because I don't know what it's all like for you.
But, makeup isn't just feminine. Even historically it was worn by men too. The idea of it being exclusively for women is just BS thanks to the way society has developed. Once upon a time, women didn't wear trousers because they were too 'masculine'. Now pretty much everyone does.
Most importantly though is, you do you. Don't change anything about yourself to make others happy. You have to put your own happiness first. If your boyfriend can't deal with you wearing makeup, he needs to ship out and let you be with someone who totally supports you.
Eight
It sounds like your boyfriend is still hasn't been exposed to a lot of diversity in the LGBTQ community and might be insecure still. Which sounds exhausting for you to have to educate him. Are there any social LGBTQ groups or events near yall ? Is there a chance he finds makeup unattractive? Would not being able to wear makeup be a deal breaker for you?
Nine
I can almost guarantee that some of the female commenters/readers who have CIS boyfriends/husbands would lose their sh-t if they started wearing makeup, but expect a gay man to be completely okay with it just because he's not straight. And that it must be bullsh-t like 'internalized homophobia'.
Unless you would be completely fine with your male partner going out with you, wearing bring red lipstick, mascara and foundation- you're in no position to judge.
That said, OP you deserve to be able to be yourself. Unfortunately you may not be able to do that with your current boyfriend. And that's okay. It's okay for him to have preferences. It's okay for you to try to come to an understanding. It's also okay for you to leave him if he can't be happy with the way you want to be. I hope you manage to sort things out!
Ten
I think there could be certain circumstances where him asking you to not wear makeup would be ok. For example, meeting his family, attending a ceremony or reception or maybe something related to his work. Not that it's right per se, just that I would get him being uncomfortable about it at those times. Agreeing to not wear makeup during those types of events would be compromising if in return he didn't give you a hard time the other times you DO choose to wear makeup.
But you have to talk to him and determine if he's actually willing to "try" to get used to you wearing makeup or what he really meant was, I'm not ok with it and I'm going to push back every time my bf tries, until HE stops doing it. Have the conversation and then if he says he'll make an effort I say start wearing makeup more. Nothing crazy, but if you two go to dinner, throw on a winged liner and do your brows. Actually get him used to you wearing makeup as a semi-regular thing. If he's not willing to compromise and was only paying you lip service, you'll know pretty quickly.
People Explain Which Companies They'll Never Trust Again
Reddit user SignificantClick8284 asked: 'What company will you never trust again?'
We all have various brands and businesses we tend to prefer over others.
Sometimes, we might not patronize these businesses because they have a superior product, but because they might seem more trustworthy than their competitors.
Indeed, some people have had such terrible experiences with companies, even some esteemed corporations, that they went running from them straight into the arms of one of their rivals.
Vowing that they would never, ever spend money on this company ever again.
Redditor SignificantClick8284 was eager to hear which companies people have zero trust in, leading them to ask:
"What company will you never trust again?"
Their Poor Communication Is Kind Of Ironic...
"Comcast."
"Their agents will lie to your face and act like you're in the wrong when called out."- bigdammit
customer service call center GIFGiphyNot A Place To Spend Or Save Your Money...
"Ashley Furniture."
"Joke of a company."
"Bank of America - also scum."- KrankOverman
Better Question, What Question Will You EVER Trust Again...
"Unfurls paper scroll that stretches to the floor and rolls out the door."
"Ahem."- djb2589
"I see no reason to trust any company."- lycos94
When The Conformation Email Is Moot...
"Booking.com."
"I 'booked' through them just to find out that the hotel had no record of my reservation."
"Then I spent an hour in the lobby trying to get them on the phone, just to find out the price wouldn’t be honored and have them try to sell me another nearby hotel room."
"Nightmare."- DuncanAerilious
"Oh, oh The Well's Fargo Wagon Is A Comin'..."
"Wells Fargo."- clubberlang2005
"Yup."
"I was one of the WF customers who suddenly had 3 mystery WF accounts under my name."
"This was prior to the court case so I went in to my branch to ask WTF."
"The manager said the guy who set up those accounts was the same guy that setup my original 2 accounts - a checking and savings account."
"That a-hole tried to make it sound like he was doing me a favor by setting up all these accounts."
"Making it worse he says I need to login to my account in order for him to remove the other 3 accounts."
"He hands me that password box, I enter my password and he says 'that's an easy one to remember'."
"Is that your favorite band?'"
"After he said that I asked for the branch manager and told him what just happened and that I was closing all of my accounts'."- thescreamingstone
kate mckinnon snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"That's All Folks!"
"ACME."
"Every f8cking thing."
"From anvils to bat suits to zoot suits always FAIL."- alien_survivor
Not Equipped For The Digital Age
"HP."
"Thier printers (large and small format) are all complete trash that require constant upkeep."- Bluegrass_Barbarian
Pictures And Fine Print Can Be Misleading...
"Airbnb."- pkovach64
"My wife and I were drinking and got pretty drunk at an Airbnb and without letting us know the hosts sent a bunch of people to the property to refill the propane and other stuff."
"They came into the house while we were drunk and half-naked and were catcalling my wife in front of me."
"This was a pretty big and well-known group operating in Tennesee."
"From what we found out this is extremely common."- Huge-Plantain-8418
Giveaway GIF by AppSumoGiphyAnalog Has Its Benefits...
"EA."- bullet312
"I lost all my sims sh*t because I hadn't logged in for more than 6 months."
"EA told me to reset my password so that they could restore my account."
"They kept saying the link was in my email, but it never came."
"Kept calling to try to get the issue fixed over a few weeks, then I realized they were just d*cking me around."
"F*ck EA."- MotherOfDogs1872
And To Think They're Supposed To Help You...
"Any insurance company."
"Especially health and homeowners."- carolizzy81
FalsE Advertising
"Nabisco."
"They took double stuffed Oreos, reduced the amount of cream to the same as the regular Oreos, and are still selling them as double stuffed, and are charging double stuffed prices!"
"The betrayal is unforgivable."- It_Wasnt_Me79
oreo GIFGiphyAs If Taxes Aren't Annoying Enough...
"Jackson Hewitt!"
"Had our taxes done a while back, and the tax preparer asked if we wanted the $200 cash advance."
"We did not."
"She then proceeded to change our information and use hers to get the temporary card with the advance."
'She then used an ATM to withdraw cash."
"She was arrested, but getting a refund was like pulling teeth from a hen."
'They didn't believe that it happened even though we had the paperwork with the tax preparer's information on it."
"It was a frigging nightmare!"
"Oh, I almost forgot she added me to the return and said I was the sister instead of the mom, so we ended up owing $1500 on top of the bullsh*t from the tax preparer."
"I do our taxes now."- RoguePhoenix259
People like to know when they're spending money that it's going somewhere they can trust.
Especially if their money is going somewhere that is supposed to keep their money safe, to begin with...
Humans seem to get swept up in group mentality and ignorance far too often.
Just because 10 of your neighbors jump off of a bridge, should you?
Celebrity fads, diet fads, Black Friday sales...
The masses love to blindly join in on the crazy.
Or the fun. it's a coin toss.
Redditor AdmirableFlow wanted to hear about group mentality that wasn't too bright, so they asked:
"What's the most severe case of mass stupidity you've ever witnessed?"
There is no greater group of followers than people who run every time Apple puts out a new product.
Same phone, just a thousand dollars more.
The Dodge
happy tom cruise GIF by South Park Giphy"Scientology."
Supersaiajinblue
"The rich ones at the top are just in for the tax dodge. A lot of the ones below them are in it thinking they can shmooze with the rich ones at the top and become one of them some days. So yeah dumb but with a layer of greed involved."
Doright36
Bad Socials
"Before social media, I just assumed people were mostly educated. Boy was I f**king wrong."
"Not only was I wrong, but now I myself feel stupid for believing that for so long."
Vitzdam-
"Up until my early 20s I felt like I was smarter than 90% of the people around me, being generous. It seemed like so many people were just complete morons, and I had this massive smug sense of superiority feeling that I was just more intelligent (and thus better) than most people."
"As I aged, I began to realize how far I'd shoved my head up my own a** and I understood that while I might have been naturally gifted in some ways, there were others in which I was the 'idiot' and other people were capable and intelligent. I felt like a real a** for feeling so much better than others, and I felt humbled."
"And then everything since about mid-2015 happened and I've really started to wonder if maybe I was just right for the wrong reasons before..."
TypicalAd4988
Without Fail
"Maybe not the most severe, but one that everyone here has personally seen at least once in their lives. When at an airport and the gate agent says 'We're about to commence boarding. Please remain in your seats until your group has been called.' And then half the people were waiting standing up and crowding the gate in a scene of utter chaos. Every time, without fail."
-Dixieflatline
Rushed
"The great toilet paper rush at the start of COVID. There was nothing about COVID that threatened the global toilet paper supply, and yet people just started panic-buying it and artificially creating a huge shortage."
"(We would eventually realize that there was a small uptick in toilet paper sold for private use, as many people were going to the bathroom at home more than at work, but no one realized that at the time and it had nothing to do with the panic - people just started buying more because people were buying more)."
Notmiefault
Seriously?!
Skin Care Girl GIF by Lillee JeanGiphy"Thousands of people during the pandemic thinking the vaccination made their skin magnetic. What in the actual hell."
MonParapluie
Everybody thought they were about to become a member of the X-Men with the Covid vaccines.
Still waiting on that proof.
Celebrity
"People waiting in Dealey Plaza for JFK Jr. to show up."
ggrandmaleo
"That's the first thing that popped into my mind. and they stayed there for days, didn't they? someone was interviewing people in the crowd and lots of people seemed to think other celebrities were also coming back/out of hiding. Someone was looking forward to seeing Robin Williams."
chrisgee
"You could simply declare the entire MAGA and QAnon movements to be mass stupidity and you'd not be wrong. Propaganda is a helluva drug and under-education is real. Fear and prejudice go hand-in-hand with under-education."
NbleSavage
Schemes
"Anyone who keeps getting involved in Ponzi or MLM schemes."
"For decades the public has been warned on what to watch out for to avoid these schemes, you would assume that the vast majority of people would have learned by now that these schemes are fraudulent and just can't work out. Yet somehow here we are with thousands of these companies still up and running and thriving and even more people being taken advantage of by them."
TheSameButBetter
Open Up
"My local park's playground has a push gate."
"Every time I watch grown adults stare at it for like 20 seconds then go 'I think it's locked is there another one?'"
"To which I walk up and... Push the gate open."
"What annoys me about this is they want to catch an attitude like I'm an a-hole for it."
3ao7ssv8
Challenges
ice bucket challenge news GIFGiphy"Those public challenges that CLEARLY risk health, i.e., 'the tide pod challenge.' Next time, just let things sort themselves out on their own. We can use fewer idiots in the world."
"The ice bucket challenge was at least kind of cute and DID give ALS a lot of media attention/awareness and raised a lot of money."
LadyVaresa
I liked doing my ice bucket challenge.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comment below.
Easter eggs, bloopers, trivia, behind the scenes anecdotes... cinephiles live collecting them and sharing their knowledge with others.
Some trivia is well known—like Eric Stoltz was replaced by Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future. Other tidbits are more obscure, like Arnold Schwarzenegger was first considered for the Michael Biehn role of Kyle Reese in The Terminator.
Some stories are conspiracy theories or urban legends—like the body in the forest on The Wizard of Oz set.
But what about just film facts? The obscure ones?
Reddit user Kuli24 asked:
"What's a movie fact you know that pretty much no one else knows?"
The Departed/Arthur the Aardvark
"When filming the rooftop scene in The Departed, a giant inflatable Arthur the Aardvark—from the TV show Arthur—on top of a nearby children's museum would have dominated the background of many of the shots."
"The museum graciously agreed to temporarily deflate and remove Arthur."
~ el_goyo_rojo
GiphyMission Impossible
"The theme song from Mission Impossible spells out MI in Morse code on repeat."
~ BelgianBeerGuy
GiphyStar Wars
"Robert Englund, famous for playing Freddie Kreuger, auditioned to be Luke Skywalker, but didn't get the role."
"He told his roommate, Mark Hamill, to go try out instead."
~ Zefram0911
GiphyNightmare On Elm Street/Lord of the Rings
"And by extension, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise is considered the reason we have Lord Of the Rings today.
"Because New Line was on the verge of bankruptcy until Elm Street saved the company."
"And New Line was the only company with the guts to green-light and fund Peter Jackson’s pre-production and production for LOTR."
~ hevnztrash
GiphyThe Princess Bride
"Cary Elwes broke his toe on André the Giant's 3-wheeler during filming The Princess Bride."
"He was worried Rob Reiner might fire him so he kept it a secret.
"He worked the scenes before the Fire Swamp to make his character kind of nonchalant but really he couldn't put much weight on his foot."
~ Inevitable-Roof4992
GiphyAliens
"In Aliens, after the first encounter with the aliens as the Marines are retreating, there is a scene where they get in the troop carrier and as they are getting ready to leave, an alien tries to get in."
"Hicks picks up his shotgun off the deck, jams it in the alien's mouth, yells 'Eat this' and blows it away."
"That whole scene was shot backwards because the actor, Michael Biehn, couldn't perform the move."
"So it was shot backwards, played in reverse and then sound dubbed over it."
~ LordBaranof
GiphyCoco
"In Pixar's Coco, the boy who was going to play Miguel hit puberty, changing his voice."
"The people in charge replaced him with someone younger."
"The original boy got a cameo where he is the guy working the stage asking him if he's ready to go on."
~ numbersev
GiphyAirplane!
"Leslie Nielsen was a critically acclaimed dramatic actor and leading man before he did Airplane!."
"On the set, people were intimidated by him because of his status."
"But they had no idea that he was the set prankster."
"He's actually buried with a fart machine that he used to carry around to mess with people."
~ G-Unit11111
"His prior career was the primary reason for casting him in Airplane!."
"A respected serious actor giving those jokes as serious lines was what made it so funny."
~ SaltWaterInMyBlood
GiphyFinding Dory
"In Finding Dory, the original voice of Nemo had grown up, so his voice had obviously changed."
"But he still got a cameo as one of the truck drivers."
Dead Zone/Christmas Story
"The movies Dead Zone and Christmas Story were being filmed only a couple miles away from each other at the same time."
"Both productions were waiting for snow so they could film. It was an usually snowless winter."
"Finally late in the season there was a significant snowfall. The scene where Sheriff Bannerman arrives at Johnny’s house is being filmed at the exact moment of the tongue to the flag pole scene."
~ Annual_Rooster5678
GiphyShrek
"In the first Shrek movie, Lord Farquaad is removing all the fairy tale creatures from the swamp."
"He wants Shrek's home too."
"In the old DVD extras they explain it’s because he wants to build a theme park there."
"It’s not explained at all in the movie."
~ bickel89
"Farquaad was modeled after then Disney CEO Michael Eisner."
"Shrek was produced by DreamWorks which was co-founded by Jeffrey Katzenburg who ran Disney before Eisner."
"Farquaad is also a play on the word F*ckwad."
~ TheGoadingGoat
GiphySir Anthony Hopkins
"Sir Anthony Hopkins is an incredible mimic."
"Throughout his career, he’s looped (post-production sound re-recording) many well known co stars who were unavailable for re-recording sessions."
"He’s never taken credit for this."
~ smdanes
GiphyToy Story/Monsters Inc.
"The original choice for Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story was Billy Crystal. He turned it down and went on to say it was one of the biggest mistakes of his career."
"When the opportunity to voice Mike in Monsters Inc came up he jumped at it, as he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice."
~ DorkusMalorkus89
GiphyContagion/Seven
"In Contagion the autopsy performed on Gwyneth Paltrow used a prop head that was originally made for the finale of Seven."
"The latter decided against showing what was in the box and thus, years later it was repurposed."
"In other words, we finally got to see what was in the box."
~ thepoeticpatient
GiphyEdward Scissorhands
"In Edward Scissorhands, the version shown to critics and reviewers contained a scene that got cut from the final theatrical version. The scene was during the opening when the grandmother starts telling her story to the little girl."
"Essentially, it made it clear that everything we are seeing in Edward’s story is not as it actually occurred, but rather we’re peering inside the little girl’s imagination, seeing how she’s interpreting what her grandmother is telling her."
"This brings whole new meaning to things like the way the houses are painted, how all the dads leave for work at exactly the same time, and the quirkiness of how everyone behaves.
"Once you know that this scene exists, you see the movie in a very different way. Much of what we think of a 'Tim Burton weirdness' is actually childlike imagination once you know."
"So, go watch it again. It’s not a whole new movie, but it feels and comes across in a whole new way."
~ Darnitol1
GiphySo, what cinema secrets do you know?
The Weirdest Things People Have Witnessed In A Rich Person's Home
It's no secret that as a person starts to make more money, they may forget how difficult they had it when there was less money coming into their bank account.
Not only are rich people often incredibly out-of-touch with the realities of most people's lives, but what they choose to prioritize and bring into their home is often pretty bizarre, too.
Already side-eyeing, Redditor Jerswar asked:
"What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed in the home of a rich person?"
Love Can't Be Bought
"Rich grandparents had a brand new house built, had a $100,000 splash pad built for their only grandchild who has never visited them at their new house."
- wyoflyboy68
"This reminds me of when my sister built her house. She had a barrier-free ground-floor apartment built in it, so my grandmother could visit. She never did."
- P44
A Separate Hoarder's House
"I had a rich neighbor growing up who'd always invite us over for parties and always insisted on giving us gifts and leftovers. They did this with every guest."
"They were also hoarders but built a separate house to keep their crap in. It was filled with whatever they bought but never used and even never got out of the packaging it was delivered in."
"They told my mom to take a box of what she wanted, and for s**ts and giggles, she did. It was a knife collection and sharpener set."
- MUSTARDUNAVAILABLE
Unusual Art
"I was at John Waters’ house for his birthday and he has a room set up as a lifelike recreation of a meth lab (it wasn’t a real meth lab, it’s an art piece)."
"He told me that when Bill Clinton visited him the secret service agents were extremely concerned about the room."
- writeleahwrite
Weird Pet Relationships
"One client had a whole separate house on their property just for their dogs. They'd referred to it as the 'dog house,' and I was expecting like maybe a little building in the yard where they kept their toys or something, but this was a fully furnished home with king-sized beds and a huge playroom on the main floor."
"They had a full training and feeding staff to care for the dogs and everything. They lived in their own house and would come over to visit. Seemed like a weird dynamic to have with your pet..."
"One client didn't have a litterbox for the cats, their cats I guess didn't like using the boxes in the basement and they didn't want to put boxes upstairs so they put down pond liner and kitty litter across an entire room in the basement and had their housekeeper run a rake through it daily."
- daabilge
Special Needs Kitty Mystery Mansion
"As a kid back in the Mesozoic Era (I'm old), my best friend and I used to play in a converted racquetball court and lounge under the old West Coast mansion her family had lived in since its construction."
"The stairs to it were hidden behind a closet off of the abandoned servants' quarters. Halfway down the stairs was a wine cellar. A decoy as the actual wine cellar for the home was under the kitchen….. Another staircase behind a rack of dusty bottles led two stories down to our giant play area beneath this."
"At the beginning of WWII, before Pearl Harbor, my friend’s paranoid WWI vet grandfather had dug out the space over fear of Japanese (or German) invasion. Her dad made the giant room regulation designed for racquetball years later. Maybe originally squash. Not sure, but the lounge area was also glassed off above it so one could look down into the court like a gallery."
"It was really neat. Also upstairs in the living room was a wall straight out of an old mystery novel. If you pushed a spot just right, the wall opened to a hidden room. Super tiny and had a button to ring certain other rooms in the house as the home had these already to call for staff. My friend's mom said it was so if someone quickly had to hide, they could alert the household of danger."
"We used to pretend to be on Nancy Drew cases all the time... so fun."
"The family was wealthy, but despite the amazing home, they lived a completely pretentious free life. Normal cars, camping vacations, frugal living as sport."
"But they were philanthropists too, especially supporting organizations like the humane society. One thing about this family’s home was all the cats. I loved kitties but had a mother who preferred her animals well-seasoned. The family had the space so they always had, and were looking to adopt out but often didn’t, at least 20 rescue cats, many with special needs."
"I’m old, I didn’t know how to write that. Special needs kitty mystery mansion really is actually an appropriate description..."
- waltersmama
"Special needs kitty mystery mansion with hidden panic rooms and decoy wine cellars is like, the best possible fever dream."
- ConneisseurOfDanger
A Unique Viewing Experience
"In Naples, FL., I was at a house with a sensory deprivation room. Flat black walls with acoustic dampening baffles, in the middle was a coffin-like bathtub. It had speakers and a flat-screen display in the lid."
"I heard that the room cost over $100K to build."
- frank_sarno
A Christmas Village
"They had part of the house permanently decorated for Christmas and it included a fully decorated Christmas tree that was suspended upside down from the ceiling. Which was pretty awesome."
- lithecello
New Meaning to "Don't Take Your Work Home"
"My wife and I used to babysit for this wealthy couple when they went on ski trips etc."
"Except for the children's schoolbooks, there wasn't a book, magazine, or newspaper in the house."
"The man was a publisher."
- Texbadger349
The End of Laundry
"I knew someone who didn't like to do laundry so she just bought new clothes for each of her 4 kids every week. They were always high-quality or designer clothes. At the time, all her kids were 10 to 16 years old."
"What would happen if they liked an item a lot and couldn't find it again? Why not just teach the kids to do their own laundry? Why not hire a housekeeper who can do it?"
"There are so many options, other than spending thousands every month just to avoid laundry. Plus, they rarely donated it. Just bagged it up and threw it out. I never could wrap my head around it."
- coffee-jnky
Can We Be the Trivia Guy?
"I know someone who's worked for a very rich person, probably worth billions. He had more than 100 staff on site, including chefs for the staff...all while divorced and living alone. He had a 'trivia' staff member... someone hired to tell him interesting facts and stories daily. That was his only job."
"Someone else was hired to maintain his shoes. Polish, shine, the works."
"If I didn't hear it firsthand, I wouldn't have believed it."
- mambo-nr4
A Mud Room, Indeed!
"I used to work as an exterminator, mostly pest control. This had me walking through houses from the poor to the rich."
"One day, I pulled up to a four-story mansion with more rooms than I could count."
"I spoke with the lady at the door and got started. As I sprayed, I noticed there wasn’t much furniture in the house. As I went, I made a game of counting the furniture I could find. Over 50 rooms and the whole building had 13 pieces of furniture."
"Pretty odd, but then I went into the very last room, a mud room right by the door I came into."
"I stopped as I walked in, completely shocked. A huge, full-sized (alive) adult pig stretched from one end of the room to the other, resting on the tile floor. I’m talking five or six feet stretched out across the room. Flies buzzed around its head as it stared at me."
"Suddenly, the lady (who I hadn’t seen since she let me in) said, 'Oh, don’t go in there. She doesn’t like men,' and then she walked me out, paid me, and went back inside."
- Moist-Exchange2890
His Very Own Hot Wheels Garage
"Buddy of mine has a car elevator."
"Instead of just building a bigger garage, he stores his cars stacked onto each other, like some kind of Hot Wheels accessory. It's very surreal."
- SmackEh
Make Yourself at Home
"My friend's dad growing up was one of the top lawyers in our state. Their house was so d**n big, I got confused (lost as h**l) on all the staircases they had everywhere. They would split in a few places and lead to banisters that had different connections to different parts of the house."
"They had a room just for dishes. Her mom had a huge room for sewing and another for different crafts. They both had an office. Many guest rooms. A small kitchen in one part with a sink, coffee pot, and fridge. Their main bathroom for guests had heated floors and rainfall showers and everything. I LOVED HER SHOWER."
"Her room had a balcony and a table outside."
"They had a pool and hot tub. Horses and a barn and lots of cute barn cats."
"I was very poor and had a messed up situation in my childhood. I stayed there a lot and they would even take me for weeks in the summer because my mother was not there. They are really great people."
" They didn't give handouts or anything, I would literally scoop up horse shit and clean stalls and help with everything for those horses when I stayed. I wanted to help."
"They had a maid, but we still cleaned up after ourselves. Their kitchen was gigantic, and I always loved the fancy pasta water arm over the stove. I had so much fun cooking with her mom and us having the big dinners (Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas) with them."
"They were so magnificent and beyond anything I would have ever experienced without them. I got my first pair of cowboy boots from them for Christmas. Her dad bought me a plane ticket one time out of the blue because I wanted to visit my grandmother. Never forget them."
- xNinjaNoPants
So Much Wasted Food
"A very rich person I know does not eat leftover food. They will cook a feast and after, everything goes straight in the garbage no matter how much is left over."
- duckduckroosebolton
"My husband won’t eat leftovers because he thinks it will give him diarrhea. His family is preoccupied with food poisoning but doesn’t know any of the actual food safety rules."
"Oh well, more for me."
- jendet010
"My brother-in-law’s family does this but they are middle class. It’s such a waste!"
- outlawjoseymeow
An Art Enthusiast
"Not weird but a Van Gogh, just chillin' in the hallway. I took a selfie with the flash on, whoops."
- Raccoon_Expert_69
"When I did executive level IT support years back, I found a Monet dangling haphazardly on an office chair in the CEO's extra office (which was unused for storage, and had an extra desktop computer I would sometimes use for quick tasks when on that floor)."
"Another time, I was admiring a Joan Miro coffee table book in his main office, and when his assistant noticed, he showed me into a side room I didn’t realize was there, which had a mini gallery of original Miro drawings."
- spymusicspy
It's amazing what people will spend money on when they have the money to spare. It would be so interesting to see how much more a person would explore a hobby if they had the money to spend.