Everybody appreciates a little playful, amorous attention now and again, it does the ego good. What is not appreciated is overly aggressive, foul mouth hollering that can be heard for blocks. And the coin flips both ways. But more often than not, men are the catcalling culprits. So it's always interesting to hear about what happens when shoes swap feet as they say.
Redditor u/MaxwellWillamette wanted hear about the times the shoe was on the other foot by asking.... Men who've been catcalled before, what was it like and how did you feel about it?
Back in high school I made the mistake of sitting deeper into the cafeteria (that's where all the scummy people sat) and I sat opposite a girl completely at random. She gets my attention and says "hey would you want to go out with me"?
Her friend has this smile on her face that tells me what I already know which is they're teasing me. So I ignore her and continue having my lunch.
She taps me again and says well, do you? Still both of them with this smile like they're waiting for their gotcha moment. I look at her dead faced and simply say, no. Then I walk to the front of the cafeteria where the relatively normal people are.
A Hard Stare
At all points in my life and all contexts, this.
Once a car full of girls pulled up tires screeching in front of me and they all started calling me handsome. I just did the whole "stare at them as if you are a psychopath" thing and kept walking because I was 100% expecting them to make fun of me, or that I was being recorded as part of those reaction stunts.
To this day I wonder if they were really hitting on me or if it was a prank. I mostly think it was a prank, otherwise it would have happened again.
Are you Sure?joke drums GIF by neomagazinroyaleGiphy
It's not great because the first time it happened they were joking to see if I'd respond, and every subsequent time it's happened my mind immediately thinks they're still joking.
It happened at a Renaissance festival. It was a little embarrassing and awkward. I didn't take it personally, though. I figured they were just trying to sell me something.
They're basically all drama/band nerds, spending an entire weekend at an event where nearly everybody is getting sauced after (and during) hours and your tent (or someone else's) is always a short walk away.
I'd rather not...
I was about sixteen and pumping gas into my car when someone driving past catcalled me. I felt kinda flattered at first but then decided they were probably making fun of me and wished it hadn't happened.
Weird yet Playful
From women? It felt like their game was off. Like either they were unsure how to proceed and felt awkward about it or just lacking practice.
Gay guys were much more fun and playful. Basically what I would aspire to be when flirting with women. How ironic.
Creepersmatt anderson creep GIFGiphy
Only by friends, for fun. I've had girls creep on me, while out walking and ask me if I wanted to go to a party. I always thought that's how I'll wake up in a bathtub with no kidneys.
Good Ole Gays
I've been hit on by guys and girls and I gotta say, the girls were way creepier and when i told them I was uncomfortable I was suddenly the sexist pig for not wanting anything to do with them. The guys were surprisingly way sweeter but maybe gay guys are just nicer than straight guys idk.
Similar FeelsJack Nicholson Thank You GIFGiphy
It's embarrassing at the same time as being a bit of an ego boost. Awkward when you're not good at getting compliments.
I (male 26) used to work in an office with 19 coworkers - all female. They were all much older except for one. Anyways, I've been caressed, hugged, touched, kissed on the cheek, etc. more times than I could ever recall. For a 21-year-old recent college grad, I loved the attention. Looking back, there were a few instances that were grounds for HR. But the women there treated me very well (aside from the flirting), and I liked every last one of 'em. I'm also 6'4" and in pretty good shape, so I never felt threatened. So yeah, I liked it haha.
A guy said my shirt was funny then asked for me to turn around. I thought he was reading the back until I heard "mmmm".
To be honest, I felt a little creeped out. Later, I couldn't believe someone would be so brazenly open about checking me out, and that part made me feel a little better about myself haha.
I had just gone to the barbershop a few days prior and gotten lined up and felt pretty good and fresh. I walked through the library in college wearing a well-fitting sweater with my 5/10 forearms showing and a girl whistled at me as I walked by and when I looked back she was giggling with her friends like children while looking me up and down.
It felt nice. Kind of weird, but nice nonetheless.
This fine thing
I'm a guy but I have long hair and a feminine figure (slim, with a large butt). From the front I have a beard so you can immediately tell I'm a man, but I've had guys check me out when they've only seen me from the back, and usually I find it funny, because it's never the nice kind of guy that you HEAR checking you out. So when I turn around they find out they were checking out another man's butt and as soon as they do they get REAL quiet and awkward. I like to joke that every time I trick a man into checking me out (especially the "look at THIS fine thing" kind of guy) I take their soul.
Not really cat calling but an attractive girl walked past me and said "nice shorts" and smiled.
My dumb self said "no not really they're from Walmart"
I always wonder how differently I could have handled that situation
Any time anyone says anything about my clothes, I tell them where I got it and how much I paid. It's like a compulsion, it just falls out. "Oh, thanks, I bought it last summer at the Kohls; it was on the clearance rack for 12 bucks." Like, a simple 'thank you' is totally sufficient, but I just can't seem to stop there.
Must be joking
8 points·16 days ago
It's definitely different for men. There is simply no everyday expectation that anyone will compliment you on anything ever. Nothing. Not a chance. For a man to get catcalled is just such a weird experience that the first response is simply confusion.
Who are they talking to? Compliments aren't funny, so they can't be joking, but it appears they are in fact talking to me, so they must be joking. It's a complete dichotomy.
The next step is ambivalence. We don't know how to feel. If they are joking, then we should be offended, but if they aren't joking, then it's the happiest we've ever been. Both are possible, as they can't possibly be joking, and they have to be.
The final stage comes once we have decided whether or not they were having a go at us or not and resolve the dichotomy, even if it's just in our heads as we will likely never know their true intent.
Growing up in rural Tennessee in Christian churches, I had a lot of older women trying to set me up with their daughters, who often I'd never even heard of. It also made me pretty uncomfortable, especially with the way they talked about me. At least with the guys it was over quickly, but women(specifically older women) would badger me despite how outwardly uncomfortable I am.
It's happened exactly 2 times in my 37 years, and I liked it. I imagine if it happened 2 times every day for 37 years it might get a bit old.
Understand that I'm not an especially attractive guy. I had a young woman call me out for being attractive at the Union Square farmer's market in NYC. I was more confused than anything. Turned out she was trying to compliment me into applying to work at an Abercrombie and Fitch store. Very weird experience.
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Friendships are one the most important and intimate connections young people make. Friends are the people you are close to, who you grow up with, and who are always there for you when you need them.
A majority of people have best friends. That's the one friend who you trust and love above everyone else. The one who has proven he'll always be there for you and the one you're ready to drop everything for.
However, not all friendships are meant to last. Sometimes, one or both of you will change. Other times, you'll just drift apart. And sometimes, the friendship will end because of malicious actions. Redditors seem to have a lot of those stories!
Curious about what broke apart once strong friendships, Redditor gli-tc-h asked:
"People of reddit what ended your friendship with your best friend?"
Work And Friendships Do Not Mix
"I gave one of my best friends a job at my convinince store when he was down on his luck. He worked in his dad's shop previously for like 6.50 an hour and his dad was toxic so he quit and came to work for me till je got a better job. The inferiority complex kicked in and he started talking down to me and talking about how I was spoiled and a daddy's boy "my dad gave me the shop.""
"I paid him the best money he ever made and he would routinely go off on me for perceived managerial issues or start stupid arguments with customers like not selling kids toy guns because they would be at risk and not selling cigarettes or beer to pregnant women, which I understand is a personal choice but as a business I can't just refuse to sell people sh*t their allowed to buy legally. Covid hit and he became a huge antimasker and I finally fired him after a huge blowout about me trying to establish a mask policy. He's a marine now and got married to a girl he knew for two weeks. We still talk but I've never trusted him since. It sucks because I think he was just like me but from a worse situation. If I was in his shoes maybe I would be way worse."
"I got tired of always being the one to put forth any effort. Fly across the world to meet up, attend family gatherings, reach out, be patient, make sacrifice. It was good times when we were together. So it was worth it for a while but when she moved close and still never bothered to make an effort, I was over it. Wish her nothing but the best."
Not A Real Friend
"When I realized he was a bully. I just wanted his friendship and attention, and then I realized he was using me for kicks."
"I put up with his bullsh*t because I wanted to be liked."
Neither A Borrower Nor A Lender Be
"After 14 years of friendship we get an apartment and suddenly he loses his job as a personal trainer because of a dress code violation (he wore a hoodie to work, allegedly) and then 2-3 months of him not working. Then after he agreed to pay me back eventually, all he ever gave me was $400 from his mom (I paid over 14,000 for the year). So I paid the full year lease and he stayed 8 months total. I never talked to him again also because I found a receipt where he was trying to make a copy of my car keys make and model. F*CK THAT GUY"
Flirting With Disaster
"Every single time that I would tell her I was interested in/talking to a guy, she would try to get with him. She was never successful but it hurt that she kept trying. I confronted her about this in a very nice and civil way and explained to her how I felt about this. She apologized profusely and promised it would never happened again. And then it happened again. I just immediately cut her off after that, no explanation or words needed. She knows what she did. Haven't spoken a word to her since"
Just Didn't Mesh Well
"Took an international vacation where we realized we hated damn near everything each other did the whole time. Realized year of seeing each other 1-2 times a month made us hardly know each other."
Me, Myself, & I
"Just made a post about this but she uses me as a therapist but when I try to vent to her, she gives me a few cliche words of support before turning the conversation back to her. It's gotten to the point where we don't talk unless she has a bad day and needs someone to talk to. She'll take days or even a week to respond to a funny meme but then immediately start dumping on me about things going on on her life. I'll invite her out to have fun and within a few hours, I'm being her life coach."
"Also, we just started to grow apart. She's turned into her parents and her parents are the typical snobby surban people that are extremely judgemental."
"She didn't invite me to her birthday party. It was my first time back from college and I would have been able to go. She made a whole Facebook event page and invited everybody but me. I found out through mutual friends, the kicker was no one showed up and she called me crying that this other girl didn't show up."
"A friend did something similar when he didn't invite me to his wedding. He called me years later apologizing when he needed to vent about his marriage."
A Passive Lady Macbeth
"My husband at the time had to step away from his job because he was dealing with pretty severe mental health issues. We had a young child and I was a stay-at-home mom and it was really devastating not only financially, but socially as a lot of our social life revolved around his job and work friends."
"I was really good friends with a coworker’s wife. The coworker moved into my husband’s (higher up) position when my husband had to resign. We had to sell our home since we couldn’t make the mortgage payment anymore. The friend came to help me pack, and while doing so told me that they always knew this would happen because the Lord had revealed it to the husband in a dream several years earlier. They had basically been waiting around for my husband to “fail” so that coworker could “succeed” and fulfill the Lord’s prophesy."
"Yeah no. Said goodbye to her, moved out of state, and never looked back. I won’t tolerate people using religion to be dicks."
"I’m a leap year baby, I try to make a big deal of my bday since it only comes every four years. My 24th, I booked a beach house to spend it with my family, my other best friend and her. Told her two months in advanced. Paid for everything and family took care of the food, so all she had to do was show up. The day comes and she said she couldn’t come cause she couldn’t get off work early enough (we were there on a Thursday-Sunday) so I thought she’d at least make an effort to come on the weekends. She never came. Then a week later, she tweets that she’s compulsively took time off work to watch F1. Felt like she couldn’t even make time for me but can make time to watch cars racing."
It's never easy or fun to lose a friendship, but it is sometimes part of life.
Sometimes, it's something that will always haunt you, but you can learn from that. And other times, it's just a way of expelling toxicity from your life, and you can find better friends who will enrich your life.
One's teenage years are almost guaranteed to come with ups and downs.
With adulthood fast approaching, many spend those years enjoying their vanishing youth and living life to the fullest.
All the while undergoing significant physical and emotional change.
So, it's natural that everyone looks back on several fond memories of being a teenager, along with things we try to forget, or wish we handled differently.
As a result, we can't help but wish we could go back and give advice to our younger selves.
Redditor alexjuby211 was curious to hear what people believed to be the best advice offered to any teenagers today, leading them to ask:
"What are some great tips for teenagers?"
Don't underestimate a sparkling smile.
"Brush your teeth."
"They may seem fine for a while but It'll catch up to you fast."- DonttouchmethereUwU
Just be yourself!
"The coolest thing you can do is stop trying to be cool."- fortwenie
You have a lot to look forward to.
"Remember that 'right now' is not forever."
"The teenage years are just one small chapter in the book of your life!"- lovealert911Dawsons Creek Crying Dawson GIF by HULUGiphy
Ramen will get old very quickly...
"Learn to cook."- Catscratchingcats
Put Yourself First
"Invest in you."
"Not someone else."
"I should clarify."
'I’m not talking about money."
"I’m talking about investing time and energy into yourself."
"Learn and understand yourself."
"This is so important for teenagers."
"I’ve been there."
"I know it’s difficult growing up and I can’t imagine how much more difficult it is in the age of social media."
"Your own mental, emotional, and physical health should be at the top of your priority list."- PBandJellyJesusChill Reaction GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy
Keep your friends close
"Figure out who your good friends are and try to keep in contact."- radpandaparty
Don't enable bullies.
"Stand up to bullies."
"Even if you’re not the one being picked on."
"I regret not doing more for kids that really struggled in school."
'Reading Reddit posts made me realize how terrible school can be when you’re alone or bullied.'- knovit
Be open, but selective.
"Say no to peer pressure but say yes to more experiences."- BecauseitstuesdayDo It Life GIF by Denyse®Giphy
Take it in stride
"Don't be afraid of rejection."
"Take it in stride and keep on trying."
"Don't be like me and intentionally emotionally cripple yourself for life."- Picard2331
All teenagers are bound to make some mistakes that they will regret five or so years later.
Which might even include not listening to their elders.
Any other tips to share? Let us know in the comments below?
Marriages fail for many reasons.
The truth is that many of them are avoidable reasons.
I always wonder what is at the crux of the dissolution of a love story.
Or maybe it's all like Buffy and Angel.
One partner will never have access to a full soul.
Whitney was right... "I'd rather be alone than unhappy!"
Redditor Kztten wanted to hear the confessions of divorced couples about why they split.
"Divorced people of Reddit, what ruined your marriage?"
I've never been married. And after what I'm about to read, who knows if I'll ever want to be.
I Saw the Signs
"I truly believe a midlife crisis... not the kind that buying a convertible would fix it. I saw weird little signs for about a year and then wham! He wants out! Not only does he want out, but he also doesn't even communicate with our 2, now adult, children. The whole thing was bizarre and still is all these years later."
No big blow up...
"My ex and I just came to the realization that we were completely incompatible. No big blow-up. No cheating. Just a long conversation, a few tears and an agreement to separate for three months to see what comes of it. By the end of three months, we knew we wouldn’t be getting back together and we put the house on the market and started to make plans for a future apart but as co-parents."
"These days the kids are grown but him, his wife and I get along very well. She was an amazing other mother to my girls and I appreciate everything she did for them when they were at their home. I think the three of us made a great parenting team."
"That guy I was told not to worry about. Turns out I was right to worry."
"Yea, I had that experience too. When he confronted me he made this weird face that seemed to say, 'How DARE you suggest that?' But it was all there- they walked home together, always went to lunch together, went mountain rock climbing together."
"I was never invited along, even tho I worked 10 mins away and could have met them, etc. She used to come to ours all the time for dinner parties but was with someone so thought nothing of it, just another couple. This was a long time ago and I've remarried since then but I'm still a bit uneasy doing things with other couples."
It is what it is...
"It's currently in the process of ending. My wife of 11 years and partner of 16 had an affair with our 9 year old daughters best friend's Dad. I tried very hard to make it work, but she is done with me and it's time to focus on my kiddos and care for myself."
"You already seem to have a healthy attitude in trying to focus your energy on yourself and your kids rather than wasting it on the other person anymore. Best of luck!"
I thought love was forever. How silly was I?
"About ten years ago, I got sick and eventually had to leave work. And then I got really sick and couldn't go back. My ex wife had to take on a caretaker role and I became a dependent. I'm much better now, but I was sick for so long that our relationship couldn't change back to a partnership."
"We were working on it, and then the pandemic happened. We were locked down for a few months and neither of us had our usual escapes. We decided to separate on our own terms while we were still friends. We now have a very supportive friendship, but our marriage is done."
dealing in yaba...
"When the police put the cuffs on her and took her away for 25 to life. Looking back on it from 10 years later, best day ever. Got an easy divorce and full custody of my son. She's Thai, we were living in Thailand. While I was at work in O & G she decided to start dealing in yaba. A South East Asia form of meth. She got set up by the police as an easy visible we're tough on drugs scam. She went down, cops got a photo opp, she's on year 11, and my son and I moved to Canada. I'm Canadian by the way."
"My first husband couldn’t accept that I was individual, rather than an extension of himself. He couldn’t handle me doing anything independently - he’d pout for days and lash out passive-aggressively. It was exhausting."
"I’m in this exact situation. My girlfriend would start acting annoyed anytime I do anything without her, specially visiting my parents or friends, or going to wash my car. I’m just exhausted to death by this. Heart problems increased because of this. I just can’t take it anymore."
"Picking the wrong person to begin with. In retrospect, red flags were there early. Several years in, I heard someone say - one of the clear things showing a marriage is in decline is when one partner speaks poorly of the other in front of third parties. My spouse did that while we were still dating."
"And yes, stupid me still walked down the aisle anyway. When you have on rose colored glasses, all the red flags... just look like flags. Bad communication, lack of respect, lack of forgiveness, lack of humility, no boundaries, never apologizing, I could go on. The last several years were just constant fighting."
"Son of divorced parents. Married for almost 30 years. Ended it when they were well into their 50s. Although it wasn’t my marriage, children are often collateral damage unfortunately. We see it all. Sorry, this will sound a little rambly:"
"I always wondered why mom slept in one room and dad the other. Dad drank too much and would pass out on the couch."
"Mom had tons of baggage from her childhood, they both did. Never did anything of merit to address it. They never worked as a team. There was never a joint decision. Communication was yelling. Everything was a crisis, no matter how insignificant. I still have a f**ked up trauma response because of that.
"I go into panic mode at the drop of a hat. I’m getting better, though. Ultimately, it was 2 very damaged people who went through life in coexistence always settling for less. I love my parents and thank them for the life they gave me. I’m happy that they’re happy now. It wasn’t easy getting there, though."
Well, this is just a big PSA for the single life.
Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Thanks to the internet and social media, it's never been easier to become famous.
Indeed, some people have used social media to such an effect, that they are as or more well known than any number of movie stars.
But others might have put something on the internet just for fun, unaware that they had a viral sensation on their hands ("Charlie bit my finger" anyone?).
Some people soak in this unexpected fame for a moment or two, and then let it pass as they go on with their lives.
Others, however, might enjoy being unexpectedly famous, and will relish in their unexpected celebrity for the rest of their lives.
No matter how small an audience their internet fame reached.
Redditor JesseB342 was eager to hear examples of when a tiny bit of internet fame resulted in an expanded ego, leading them to ask:
"What’s the smallest amount of internet fame / clout that you’ve seen go to someone’s head?'
Blink and you'll miss them.
"Friend was in a video at a car meet that went viral back say 2011-2012."
"He said like 8 words and couldn’t see him but you could hear him."
"He would go around telling people after he is 'famous' for being in a viral YouTube video."
"I was like 'if you have to announce you are famous, you might not be as famous as you think Broski'."- HoneyMussy4goodBoy
It made the movie!
"My dad's collection of vintage drinking glasses were used in 'The Mothman Prophecies'."
"His glasses made the movie much better.:
"Just ask him, he'll tell you."- cleonavarro
Anyone remember MySpace?
"I made a fairly successful MySpace type quiz once.'
'Over a million people took it. I put that on my resume.''- effieokaySocial Media Hearts GIF by Flamingo ServicesGiphy
"Remember when I did that thing? No? Well, you should!"
"A guy from my hometown who was sort of a skeezeball helped some elderly folks escape a fire."
'The act itself was commendable and he deserved the recognition he received in local media and he went viral for a week or two."
'But uh….5 plus years after the fact he was still using that as a way to try to get out of tickets or being cut off at the local bars after refusing to pay tabs."
"My brother encountered his Instagram recently and his self-description says something like 'Unspoken hero, DM me for details."
Fame can't get you everything.
"I work for a company that books luxury travel, think $20,000 packages."
"A woman contacted us wanting a free trip in exchange for posting it on her blog, proudly proclaiming that she had 800 followers."
"My coworkers' dog photo account has more followers."- AnastasiaSheppard
Even if he's not wrong.
"That dude telling Keanu Reeves that he's breathtaking."
"He would later comment on other stuff whenever breathtaking was mentioned, as if he was the one that came up with the word and made it his thing."- Sir_MoonDoggyKeanu Reeves Reaction GIFGiphy
Big ego making up for other shortcomings?...
"The guy from TikTok dancing in that parade to 'I’m just thinking with my d*ck'.”
"He went home to Indianapolis and started doing meet and greets with people at local car dealerships lol."- jkaycola
It happens to the best of us...
"I entered a blog competition to my uni the summer before I started.'
"I won, and myself and two others were given a free laptop on the understanding we'd keep publishing blogs as 'Insiders' for the uni to use as a marketing tool."
"I put one up a week, and enjoyed it."
"They were decently entertaining and linked to on the uni website, but probably got no more than a few dozen reads."
"On my birthday a few months into the year the bouncers at a club wouldn't let me in as I appeared too drunk."
"I got into a pedantic argument with them about whether the pavement was public property or not, then shouted at them I was going to write about it in my Uni-sanctioned blog."
"I woke up hungover the next day and did not write about the incident in my uni-sanctioned blog."- Fascinatedwithfire
It's one way of putting yourself out there...
"Any amount of sound cloud rappers that get a few hundred views and a few mates gassing them up and think they've found their calling."
"Source, I have to produce them."
"Money is money tho."- EddieHxtlerurban hip hop GIFGiphy
Bad sportsmanship will never pay off...
"Back in the day when I played Wow there was a guy on my server who had a tiny amount of name recognition."
"He was good at the game and spent a lot of time and energy organizing things."
"People on the server knew him and would ask for his help, or show him deference in order to get his attention on things."
"One day he put together an optional raid and at the end of the raid a particularly rare item dropped."
"Instead of an open roll - which was the standard at the time - he simply gave the item to his friend."
'When people complained, he said something like, 'I'm so and so, I'm the most important raid leader on this server, you're all lucky to even be here right now, so shut up and deal with it'."
'Well screenshots were taken and links were sent around."
"Dude ended up transferring off the server less than a week later because nobody would give him the time of day."- shaidyn
We all like being recognized for an accomplishment.
But rather than let fame get to our heads, it's important to use that fame for good.
Particularly if you can reach as many as 100 followers to make a difference.